I’ve wrote about my online friend before but now I’m starting to believe I really did do something wrong, or at least he’s tired of me. I’m at that point where I don’t want to intrude but if I don’t check on him then I’m a bad friend. How can I tell when someone wants space or maybe they’re just busy?

I am like a repel magnet for friends. No matter what I do I can never keep a friendship. They either leave or I get too anxious and leave first. Sometimes I think I’m just meant to not have friends. I use to convince myself I didn’t need them so I wouldn’t be hurt but I do. I really do and I just feel pathetic sometimes.

But I think convincing myself I don’t need them hurts less compared to when I do have a friend and they just stop talking to me entirely. But that wouldn’t be my fault, would it? But if they’re always leaving then it had to been my fault. Idk, maybe I’m just overthinking but I feel nauseous now.

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