I suck at friends
The story
I’ve wrote about my online friend before but now I’m starting to believe I really did do something wrong, or at least he’s tired of me. I’m at that point where I don’t want to intrude but if I don’t check on him then I’m a bad friend. How can I tell when someone wants space or maybe they’re just busy?
I am like a repel magnet for friends. No matter what I do I can never keep a friendship. They either leave or I get too anxious and leave first. Sometimes I think I’m just meant to not have friends. I use to convince myself I didn’t need them so I wouldn’t be hurt but I do. I really do and I just feel pathetic sometimes.
But I think convincing myself I don’t need them hurts less compared to when I do have a friend and they just stop talking to me entirely. But that wouldn’t be my fault, would it? But if they’re always leaving then it had to been my fault. Idk, maybe I’m just overthinking but I feel nauseous now.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
you know what, worrying constantly about being a bad friend might be pushing people away more than you think. relationships take balance, and sometimes stepping back without spiraling into anxiety is necessary. friendships aren't meant to feel like a test you're bound to fail; overthinking it just complicates things unnecessarily. yeah, maybe give it some space and let him reach out if he's interested.
Thank you for your reply! I like the way you worded things. I think you’re right. I just left it alone, but I’m still worrying. Idk, I do agree I should give him so space so I’ll definitely do that! Thank you!
it's hard not to worry, i get it. maybe try focusing on something you enjoy doing in the meantime? it might help distract from the worrying a bit. and remember, you're not alone in feeling like this. friendships can be tricky, and sometimes space is just what you both need. fingers crossed things work out!
Thank you so much! Have a great day!
Dude, you're totally overthinking this. Everyone's busy sometimes and it's not always about you! Stop assuming they left because of something you did; people get caught up in their own lives. Don't jump to conclusions without any evidence. Chill out, give your friend some space, but don't ghost them either. Balance is key! 😊
Thank you for your reply! I know you mean well but telling me to chill out isn’t really helpful. I can’t actually chill, trust me. I tried . Just doesn’t work for me, although I do agree with giving him space so thank you!
I get it, it's tough. I think the key is communication though. Maybe just shoot them a message saying you're there if they need you. No pressure! 😊
Thank you!
i think maybe ur being a lil hard on urself . it's natural to feel wen someone is pulling away but it doesnt always mean its bcoz of smth u did. ppl get busy & life happens. i guess what im saying is give him space but then again also try to trust that he'd come around if he cud . give it time
yeah space can be good but what if they just forgot?
Thank you for your reply! And sorry for my late one. But I gave him space and he did come around, and it wasn’t my fault. I felt like an idiot but was relieved. You have any advice for me to stop assuming the worst? Can’t seem to calm down my mind when it happens
i'm glad to hear it wasn't ur fault! for calming down, maybe try deep breaths or distracting urself with something u enjoy. also, remind urself that ppl have lives and it's not always about us. hope that helps a bit :)
Thank you!
kinda sounds like you're caught in this loop of self-doubt, huh? 🤔 it's tough to figure out if someone just needs space or if they're truly pulling away. maybe it helps to think of the connection you had before things got weird. sometimes people are busy or dealing with stuff they don’t share. doesn’t mean they’re done with you tho. but yeah, pushing yourself away first can be a defense thing... been there. friendships can feel fragile sometimes and that sucks, but maybe giving it some time will help ease your mind a bit.
Thank you for your reply! My mind is my worst enemy most times 💔. I gave it time and it only worsen my thoughts, didn’t even had the energy to do anything but I slept and I did feel better. He did reply back and felt relieved to see his message
sleep can really do wonders sometimes, right? glad you felt a bit better after it. hearing back from him must've been such a relief! it's like your mind can kind of chill out a little knowing things are still okay. hang in there, and maybe keep finding small ways to ease that anxious brain of yours.
Thank you! And it was a relief 😭 felt silly afterwards but I’m glad it wasn’t what I thought. Hope your day is treating you well!
i get that feeling of relief turning into a facepalm moment lol 😂. but hey, it's better to feel a little silly than stuck in those anxious thoughts, right? hope the good vibes keep flowing for both of us!
tbh, i think you're overthinking this too much. people have their own lives, and it's not always about you. friendships change as we grow older, and sometimes people drift apart without any real reason. just gotta hang in there and find people who click with you better.
I see, thank you for the reply!
Sometimes it feels like we overthink connections, and that can make things harder than they need to be; but at the same time, it's important to recognize that friendships are a two-way street and not every friendship ends because of one person's actions.
seriously, overthinking much?
Wow. Gee, I didn’t even realize!
No need for sarcasm, but seriously:)
Try to figure out if it's just temporary and give them some space before assuming the worst. Being too persistent might push them away more!
omg I fel so much the same way ! every time a freind of mine stops talkin to me I end up thinking that I must done somthing wrong . once my friend emma didnt talk 2 me for wks nd i kept asking myself wat I do? turns out she been rlly busy wit school work n cudn't keep up w any1 ciek the clors of the rainbow lol . so sometimez its not us yahh knoww ?
man, i'm sorry you're feeling this way... sounds really hard to deal with. it's natural to care about your friendships and worry, but don't forget everyone needs space sometimes. you mentioned feeling like a repel magnet maybe just focus on what makes *you* happy outside friendships first! you'd be surprised how taking that step back to nurture your own happiness can sometimes magically open up new connections without even trying too hard 🤔
i totally get it... sometimes it feels like no matter what you do, friends just disappear. had a best friend who stopped messaging evey since they moved away and i thought it was my fault, but then i realized they got caught up with work n family stuff too. hard not judge yourself tho
hmm, maybe try seeing it like not every friendship has to be super intense or constant all the time. if you’re feeling like a repel magnet, maybe it’s just about finding those who vibe with how you communicate and need space. sometimes ppl click better when there’s a natural rhythm to things, so if he needs space now, he might just need that for himself and not cuz of anything you did. idk, figuring out balance is tricky but you're definitely not alone in feeling this way! 😊
I wonder if most people feel this way at some point.
You know, sometimes I think the whole issue with friendships can be like trying to listen to a radio station that's just out of reach; you might hear bits and pieces, but the static makes you doubt what you're picking up.
if you ask me, it kind of sounds like you're swinging between blaming yourself and thinking it's out of your hands, but maybe there's a middle ground here: what if instead of focusing on whether you've done something wrong or constantly reaching out to check on your friend, you try letting things be for a while and see how they naturally unfold without overanalyzing each interaction?
hey, have you thought about talking to your online friend directly? like maybe ask them how they're feeling about things or if they're too busy lately? it's easy to get lost in our thoughts and overthink when we don't know what's really going on with others... maybe clarity could help?
I've felt exactly like that before when my once-close college buddy suddenly ghosted me after graduation. Looking back now, he likely got busy with new responsibilities rather than deciding to cut ties abruptly.