What do you call a person who pushes everyone away?
The story
ever just feel like you're the problem but can't help it? i've noticed this pattern where i push people away. it sounds kinda dramatic, right? but it's real for me. there was this one time when a friend got super close and i freaked out. they were always around, messaging every day, wanting to hang out all the time. at first, it was cool and we had some great times but then... i started feeling trapped. like i couldn't breathe or have a second to myself. it's not them, you know? they're awesome and loyal and probably one of the best friends someone could ask for.
but my brain went into overdrive and instead of talking about how i felt overwhelmed, i kind of just ghosted them a bit. stopped replying as much. made excuses for not hanging out until eventually they got the hint (or maybe they just gave up) and we drifted apart. in the moment, it felt like what i needed although deep down there was this nagging feeling that i'd regret it later. and yeah... i was right.
after some time passed, i realized how much their presence actually meant to me (the laughs we shared, the support during tough times...) and felt terrible for shutting them out like that. now there's this weird gap where an awesome friendship used to be, all because my mind couldn't handle being close with someone who genuinely cared. i'm trying to figure out why i'm wired this way: putting up walls when people get too close instead of letting them in more fully or explaining what's going on inside my head.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
u overthinkin man
Honestly might be onto something there!
i guess you're right, maybe i'm just in my head too much. or maybe it's just how my brain works? i wish it was as simple as turning off a switch but sadly, here we are.
This really resonates with me! I remember distancing myself from a friend because I felt overwhelmed by their constant need for validation. It happened during college when stress levels were through the roof and I just wanted some space to breathe without added pressure. We eventually managed to talk things through but it was such a huge relief when we communicated openly about what each of us needed from our friendship without imposing too much on each other.
that's so good u managed to talk it through!
Man, sounds messed up. But here's the thing: it isn't always just you being the problem, sometimes people can actually be overwhelming even if they don't mean to be. I get that feeling of needing space, but it's brutal that instead of owning up and telling them what's up, you chose to ghost. You realize now what you lost, so take it as a lesson learned for next time someone genuinely cares enough to stick by you like that.
Man, I totally hear you on this. Sometimes when people get too close, it's like you're losing control of your own space, you know what I'm saying? It's not necessarily a bad thing to need some alone time, but maybe talking about it instead of just ghosting could have helped; communicating feels awkward sometimes (I always worry I'll sound dumb), but it works wonders if you can push past the initial discomfort. Ever considered why being so open is hard for you? Got me thinking about my own life and how I used to push back against my siblings when they got too nosy or wanted to be too involved, but eventually worked out that setting boundaries doesn't necessarily mean pushing people away completely.
same thing happend here once lol
Man, stop beating yourself up over it. I get that ghosting someone feels kinda crappy but sometimes it's just how we react under pressure, especially when you feel suffocated by constant attention; 🙄 it's like a reflex to distance ourselves. Maybe next time try to communicate more when you're feeling overwhelmed...easier said than done, right? But honestly, instead of thinking you're wired wrong, accept that everyone has their quirks. You could even reach out again and explain why you pulled back if the friendship still matters to you. Maybe they'll understand... or not, but at least you'll have cleared the air on your side.
yeah, maybe reaching out would help. it just feels so raw, you know? like what if they don’t even want to hear from me again...
i guess friendships r complex
hey, not everyone gets it right all the time with handling friendships. sure sounds like you realized what happened after the fact, but at least you're owning it now, which is a solid first step👍 maybe appreciating space and needing boundaries doesn't have to mean losing friends. just think there might be ways to keep connections while still having room for yourself! finding that balance can be tricky but figuring out your own rhythm is worth it in the long run. sometimes relationships are just weird puzzles we gotta piece together without all the pieces upfront. better days ahead, my friend!
I totally get you! It's frustrating how sometimes our own minds create these barriers against people who genuinely care about us. I've lost connections too because of my tendency to isolate rather than express what's bothering me.
's good to know I'm not alone in this mess.
The part about putting up walls really caught my attention because I can relate in so many ways. But sometimes those walls are necessary for self-protection if your mental health is struggling under certain pressures: it's okay to step back temporarily while working on opening up better in future situations instead of cutting ties entirely with loved ones unaware.