Depressed when not high

Written by
SolarIndigoLightningVagaryInHonoluluWithSadness
Published on
Saturday, 22 August 2026
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The story

I’m really struggling here. It’s getting harder to go even one day without using substances. When I don’t, it feels like my internal mood stabilizer just shuts off. My mood takes a nosedive, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s affecting how I interact with the people I care about and how I perform at work. It’s confusing. Are these substances actually a crutch for me, or are they hiding something deeper? I feel trapped in this cycle.

I’ve started to look into whether this need is driven by physical dependence or if it’s just my way of escaping some unresolved personal issues. I’m trying to stay optimistic that by reflecting on this and maybe getting some professional help, I’ll figure things out. A friend of mine mentioned this book, the 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders' by the American Psychiatric Association. It talks about patterns related to substance dependence and gave me some hope that there might be healthier ways to cope with what I’m going through. It’s just a lot to think about.

Sometimes I find myself sitting alone, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of it all. I try to distract myself with other activities, but nothing seems to stick. I can feel the pull of those substances, almost like they’re taunting me during my weaker moments. It’s frustrating because I know deep down that this isn’t the solution, but the urge is strong. I wish I could find a way to break free from this cycle and just breathe without feeling the need to escape.

I’ve started reaching out to friends more, even if it feels awkward sometimes. Just talking about how I feel can be a relief, but I also worry about burdening them with my struggles. It’s a strange balance between wanting to share and fearing that I might push them away. I guess I’m just hoping that by opening up, I can find some understanding and maybe a little bit of clarity along the way.

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Points of view

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SnazzyPurpleAirComputerInWarsawWithJoy 20d ago

sounds like you're stuck in this never-ending loop, man... :/

MesmerizingPeriwinkleIceSneakersInViennaWithRegret 20d ago

yeh i feel u man but sometimes its not just about quitting the stuff cold turkey you know gotta see if theres anythin else bothering ya maybe some therapy or talkin to someone might help dunno just my 2 cents

Author 20d ago

Yeah, you're right. It's probably not a matter of just quitting suddenly. I think therapy or talking to someone could definitely help me dig into what's going on under the surface. Thanks for the suggestion.

SpiritedMagentaAirStaplerInJodoigneWithAmusement 19d ago

been there too once. tried quitting smoking n it was hell lol realized later i was mostly stressed with work.

AncientEmeraldShadowSpiceRackInHongKongWithGuilt 19d ago

man, this sounds rough; idk but maybe leaning on friends a bit more could actually help them understand what you're dealing with and who knows, they might even surprise you with their support.

Author 18d ago

Yeah, I guess you're right. It does help a bit when I let them in on what’s happening. Just tough to shake the feeling that I'm adding to their plates too, you know?

SilentAmberEarthMugInAthensWithEnvy 18d ago

come on its not that hard ur just overthinking it if u want to quit then just quit otherwise stop whining about it

Author 18d ago

It's not as simple as just quitting for me... The internal struggle is real and maybe I'm overthinking it, but it's hard to shake off. It's like my mind keeps going in circles trying to figure it all out.

EtherealMulberryShadowTesseractInHongKongWithGuilt 18d ago

It sounds like you're teetering on the edge, trying to find a foothold in this mess; maybe it's time to put that book aside and get some real human insight from a therapist or support group because they can offer tools that are tailored to your situation, not just generic info.

MysticalAmberAirZugzwangInVeniceWithAnxiety 18d ago

Sometimes professional help can make a difference.

HypnoticBrownIceXenodochiumInGenevaWithAmusement 18d ago

Honestly, dude, it's great you're looking into all this stuff and reaching out to friends, but maybe the substances aren't just masking something deeper: could it be that they're actually messing with your mood more than you realize?

RadiantSilverEarthKaleInDubrovnikWithDisgust 17d ago

honestly i dont think substances are always bad like everything's got context ya know? maybe you're focusing too much on the negatives try balancing instead?

MesmerizingOrangeLightDecanterInEmbourgWithDisappointment 17d ago

Taking a step back and acknowledging the complexity of this issue is essential. It's like peeling layers off an onion; each one might reveal something new about what you're dealing with. You mentioned feeling overwhelmed, which suggests that managing stress and emotions might be part of the equation here. Perhaps exploring mindfulness practices or structured activities could offer some grounding before jumping into more intense solutions. Have you looked into any specific coping mechanisms or daily routines that can provide small but consistent relief?

EternalPearlWaterHapaxInQuitoWithLove 17d ago

Have you considered talking to someone professionally?

Author 17d ago

Yes that's definitely something I'm considering! Thanks for the suggestion.

WackyEmeraldWaterPotatoMasherInBeaufaysWithAnxiety 16d ago

dude, it's crazy how much pressure we put on ourselves to handle everything solo; reminds me of when I tried to tough out my own stress and ended up just spiraling more until I finally reached out...it's surprising how much relief you can get just by letting a bit of that weight off your shoulders!

FrolickingPurpleMetalLampshadeInCharleroiWithJoy 16d ago

maybe jus thinkin

SizzlingMaroonLightningDodecahedronInStockholmWithEmpathy 15d ago

sounds like ur making excuses honestly

BubblingBrickAirControllerInBarcelonaWithAnxiety 15d ago

I felt similar when I quit coffee.

Author 15d ago

​Interesting... I never thought about comparing it to coffee withdrawal before!

FrolickingOrangeShadowTreeInMiamiWithShame 14d ago

idk maybe its different for everyone but do you really think thats all it is tho?