man, every single time i'm about to lead the weekly team meeting at work, i freaking freeze. like, my brain just shuts down and i'm left standing there feeling like an idiot. and it's so dumb because i know my shit inside out, you know? i'm always super prepared, got all the points laid out, yet when it comes to actually speaking in front of everyone, bam... my mind goes blank.

this crap is really starting to mess with me. my confidence is in the dumpster because of it. it's not even just about the meetings anymore... it's creeping into other stuff too. sometimes i'll be working on something simple or talking to a colleague and suddenly i get hit by this wave of anxiety that totally screws up my focus and makes me second guess everything i'm doing.

it's weird how small things can set me off. like the way someone looks at me when I stumble over words or even the sound of silence in those few seconds before i start talking; triggers this whole mess inside my head. honestly feels like an endless loop of frustration and self-doubt that's got its claws dug deep into both my work life and personal space.

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