Workplace Drama - page 6

Heyah👋🏻😄!!

I wanna be a Wedding Planner👰🏻‍♀️.

But I don't know the steps to do so🫠. My cousin is an event planner, so maybe I can ask her🤔?

This is the first time that I've thought seriously about the career I actually wanna have☺️🙏🏻✨. I usually just go for your basic minimum wage jobs, but I wanna seek more... And now, I have more motivation to do so🤩🙏🏻✨!!

My bestie always said that she's super excited when I get married cause I already know so much wedding planning lingo😅!! But there's more to wedding planning then just knowing what everything is, but where to get it, the budgets, who to talk to, guest lists, budgets, specific items important to the couple, locations, permits, did I mention the budget... And there's also the possibility of the Bridezillas, Momzillas, Dadzillas, Sisterzillas, Brotherzillas, Groomzillas and more😱!! I'm recently changing my college degree back to psychology specifically for this job field.

It feels like forever since I've had any motivation to think more seriously about a more stable career🥹. I understand that sometimes minimum wage is stable for some who live on their own and want a smaller living space and other stuff that I don't know since I live with my cousins at the moment. But I'm just super excited to start REALLY planning my future. I'm a little late to the party, as I'm now 24 and still on college, but I look forward to continuing this journey🥳!!

And maybe one day, after I feel more comfortable with my finances, and as a person in general... Who knows, maybe I'll find a nice person to love and get married to👰🏻‍♀️💒💍? Who knows🤷🏻‍♀️!? The future is vast and I'm grabbing Life by the horns(if life had horns) and steering my own path🫡👍🏻✨!! Wish me luck🍀!! Or break a leg(if there are any theater kids out there🧐)!!

so, i just started this new job, right? i’m 26, a guy, and was pretty excited at first because i thought it would be a cool opportunity. they talk about "synergy" and "dynamic team environments" and stuff, but honestly, it's just not my vibe. 😩 the onboarding process was like a total brain freeze, like, who thought making me watch 10 hours of training videos was a good idea? 🙄 and the people? well, they seem nice enough but have this weird corporate speak that makes me feel like i’m in a 90s sitcom—everyone is pretending to love their jobs. i mean, why do we have to "circle back" on every little thing? like, can’t we just have a convo without all the jargon? for real, if i hear the term "low-hanging fruit" one more time, i’m gonna lose it. and don’t even get me started on the break room; have you ever seen someone make coffee so tragically bad? it’s like they’re trying to punish us! and then there’s the daily stand-up meetings where we go around and share our "wins" and "challenges" like it’s some motivational seminar or something; i’m just sitting there thinking about how i haven’t even figured out the office printer yet. honestly, it makes me question everything—like, is this what adulting is all about? the projects are monotonous and all they do is pile on the work; at this point, i’m wondering if i should just ghost them and disappear like i was never there. but part of me is like, "what if this is just the phase every job goes through and it gets better?" but does it ever really get better? like, do you all just put up with this stuff or what? should i stick it out a few more weeks? people say it's always tough at the beginning, and i really don’t wanna be the guy that quits on the first round; but then again, my mental health is kinda crucial too. the last thing i want is to end up dreading my mornings and counting the hours till freedom while sitting at my desk like a zombie. does anyone else feel like they’re just running in circles at work? sometimes it just feels like a game and not a very fun one. so, if quitting is on the table, how do you even do that gracefully? i’ve heard horror stories about people just walking out and burning bridges, but i genuinely don’t want to end up being that guy who storms out while flipping off the boss; i just think about long-term consequences, like networking—am i ruining future opportunities? and that’s not my goal at all. during these days, it seems like if you don’t play the game, you’re out. 😬

i guess the conundrum is whether i really want to be part of this ecosystem or if it's just my fear of change and the unknown creeping in. what’s the line between making it work and recognizing when something is just not right for me? i mean, should i really just stick it out to prove a point? they say perseverance is key, but then again, there’s a limit to how much tolerating nonsense one can do. it feels like i’m sitting at this crossroads every single day, stuck in a loop where my brain tells me to adapt and my gut screams to run; i feel like i need a sign or at least a coffee that doesn’t taste like burnt rubber. there’s too much pressure already; we’re already competing with 1000 emails and trying to keep up with KPIs, and why do we even need to quantify every little success? can’t i just do my job without feeling like i need to report every minor achievement? and then it dawns on me, is quitting really an option? i’ve put in minimal emotional investment; what’s the worst that could happen if i just bagged it early? my job satisfaction score is at an all-time low of about one out of five stars and the thought of another day in this mind-numbing cycle is simply tragic; does anyone have any advice? 👀

So I've recently joined a new workplace, and it's a hotel. NGL, I got the job because I know the General Manager and was offered an opening due to my circumstances. Even though I have no prior experience in the industry, I did have experience with customer service and I'm totally willing to learn along the way.

Granted, it's six-day work-week and lower payment for me, but I get meals, a uniform with laundry benefits and a travel allowance. The best part is that it's close to my place and pretty safe for me to work in.

Also, everyone's been really friendly towards me.

This issue is that, despite being offered the job TWICE, once I finally accepted (I was reluctant because I didn't want take advantage of knowing the Manager, it felt.... I dunno, weird to me. But my situation made me accept), I find out that they don't have a workstation available for me. Not even a laptop. They were ok to have ME bring my own laptop and convert it to be used only with their applications, but wouldn't get me my own. They wouldn't repair a desktop they had literally sitting outside the Manager's office. And I'd brought it up multiple times, including to the Manager but after some half-hearted checking, it went back to the default of "You need to adjust". Nevermind that that new guy who came after me got them working on a setup for him (I wondered for a moment if it's because I'm a female that I was ignored)!

Additionally, the ones who've been assigned to supervise me/ use my talents have no idea what to do with me.

One of my supervisors is a lady who's so used to working alone that she absolutely won't budge or co-operate with me to get work done.

A major part of her reporting is extracted from an Excel sheet she uses to keep track of her work. She assigned me the task of helping her using that same sheet. That's on her computer. That can't be used by 2 different users at once.

Ok.... SO, I made a copy of the same sheet in Google sheets and shared the access with her. Her response? "I can't use this. I'll just use my Excel sheet".

............... Brilliant.

Ok, attempt #2 - I copy her sheet into a shared folder and update THAT for her. All she needed to do was use Ctrl+ A + C in the copy sheet and then paste the data into her own Excel sheet in her computer. Easy right?

Not for her! She said it's "double work" for her and she doesn't have the time.

I've asked her MULTIPLE times to give me just 5 minutes with her sheet to update it (I used the Google sheet version, so I can access it on her system.

She keeps refusing, saying she has too much work to do. BUT THEN, she complains that the sheet isn't being updated.

It is. Just on my Google sheets.

She only leaves the system when she's at a meeting with the Manager or at lunch. I've tried accessing her system then, but multiple times have been interrupted by guests and by the time they move on, she's back and I'm evicted.

As for my other supervisor, he had me working in the restaurant in the mornings, (nothing bad, just some waiter stuff that I was ok with) and wanted me to acquire feedback and contacts from event guests (pretty tough as I hadn't gotten the uniform then). BUT THEN, he said he wanted ME - a lone female - to go on what's called "sales/marketing calls" here. Basically, I've got to drum up new clients by visiting businesses in-person, like a door-to-door salesman. But alone.

I wasn't comfortable with this and I've repeatedly told him that I had no experience with such things (being raised abroad in a different culture, I didn't even have the language down pat). I couldn't outright tell him I didn't want to do it or even know HOW to do it, because it would bring trouble to the Manager. As usual, my concern was ignored and I nwas just given an EXTREMELY basic, almost Cliffnotes style instructions on what to do. When I asked to accompany one of the employees who actually does it as part of their job, I was rejected with a lame excuse. I was even told by multiple people that sales calls weren't supposed to be part of my work.

But, hey, no-one who was actually in charge of my work cared. So I stopped caring.

One time when I asked for access the excel for my female supervisor ( I framed it I her as taking a 15 min break while I updated the sheet) her response was she can't give it because her work keeps her at the office upto 2 hrs past her shift end, but if I was willing to work extra time, she'll give my the system.

I just "Ok" and walked away.

She's been upset about my choice to leave on time as much as possible ever since she sprang an overtime request on me and I informed her that I had other plans and couldn't work late. Even though I ended up cancelling the plans because she asked, she was sour about it, asking why I was there after my shift end, and I had to point out that SHE asked ME to stay behind to help her..... And it wasn't even for anything that urgent. It was a task that could have been easily solved with a simple message forward. Even she knew everyone else had gone, but still wanted me to stay back.

So here I am. Trapped and trying very hard not to muddy the waters of my existence. While everyone's polite and friendly (upto a point) , I don't have any actual friends here or anyone who even understands me.

I'm just looking for advice o. How to survive working here without having a breakdown or pissing someone off till I get a better job.

I’ve been working at this company for only a few weeks now, and honestly, I’m already exhausted by how much self-control it takes to be kind all the time. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not rude, and I don’t snap at anyone, but internally? I’m fighting a war every day just to keep my mouth shut. Some of these coworkers act like they’ve never heard of basic courtesy or professional boundaries. They overshare, they interrupt, they make assumptions, and it’s like I’m expected to keep smiling through all of it. Clients aren’t much better. You can be polite, patient, even go out of your way to help—and still, they’ll throw some passive-aggressive comment your way or complain that you didn’t “sound friendly enough.” I get it; everyone has their own crap to deal with, and maybe I’m being too sensitive. But seriously, how are you supposed to be kind when people keep pushing your buttons?!! I try to breathe through it, tell myself it’s just a job, it’s just people being people, but it’s tough. And the worst part is—I want to be kind. I want to be seen as someone who’s approachable, easy to work with, someone who makes things better, not worse. But when you’re constantly dealing with entitled attitudes and phony small talk, it becomes less about kindness and more about performance. And that performance wears you out.

The thing is, I don’t think I’m mean. I just think I’m running out of energy to fake warmth all the time. Is kindness supposed to feel this forced? I watch some of my coworkers smile so easily, laugh with clients, crack jokes in meetings—and I wonder, how do they do it?? Are they not tired? Are they not annoyed? Or am I just wired differently? There’s this pressure to keep up the vibe, be the guy who’s always positive, who never rolls his eyes, never says the thing everyone’s thinking but knows they shouldn’t. But suppressing those reactions—it’s messing with my head. It feels dishonest. And yet, saying what you really feel? That gets you labeled difficult or unprofessional. So I sit there, nodding, agreeing, thanking people who make my job harder, pretending not to care when someone takes credit for something I did. I replay conversations in my head on the way home, wondering if I sounded cold, if I should’ve smiled more, if I was too blunt. And it’s not just about how others see me; I don’t want to turn bitter. I’ve seen what that looks like, and it’s ugly. So I try, every day, to show kindness even when it doesn’t feel earned—especially then, actually; because I guess that’s the whole point of kindness, right? But it’s not easy. And some days, I wonder if anyone notices. Or cares. Maybe I’m just overthinking the whole thing. But you ever feel like being kind is more about survival than sincerity? Like, if you stop being kind, everything around you would collapse? What’s the line between being a decent person and being a doormat? 🧠

At 37 years old and working in a corporate environment that often feels more stifling than inspiring, I find solace in the wisdom of Yoda. His iconic quote, “Do or do not, there is no try,” resonates deeply with me whenever I am faced with challenges at work. Recently, I encountered a critical project that required immediate attention. The stakes were high, my team was dependent on my leadership, and the deadline loomed like a dark cloud overhead. I remember thinking, “There’s no way I can let them down.” In that moment, I channeled my inner Jedi. Instead of contemplating failure or even the possibility of trying, I took actionable steps to ensure success. The pressure to deliver not only awakened my focus but also compelled me to adopt a proactive approach. The result? We met our deadline, exceeded expectations, and united as a stronger team.

However, I wonder if others can relate. Have you ever felt that driving need to "just do it" in your own work life, or do you find yourself contemplating the notion of 'trying' instead? There are days when the motivational pep talks feel redundant; you either deliver or you don’t! I recall a coworker who consistently operated in the realm of “trying.” His endless discussions about the effort he’d put in without yielding the desired results drove me to frustration. “Why not commit fully or step aside?” I found myself asking countless times. In a sense, his indecision mirrored that common phrase about not wanting to ruffle feathers in the workplace. We all are guilty of that to some extent; however, embracing a mindset that revolves around total commitment can bring about transformative changes. It is essential to take the leap without second-guessing ourselves, right? Failure can be an excellent teacher! So, I urge everyone – especially those feeling stuck – to ask themselves: What if instead of trying, we simply committed to doing?;

I work in a hospital, as an Intern..

From half a month working in a certain department.I do every work on time, with discipline and punctuality.But there had been hardly a single day,when some senior of mine,for whom I work smiles at me.All over the duty time,they people seem evergreen irritated.They can't smile at you,they can't be normal looking towards you.Appreciation is never cup of tea of theirs.And yeah more over to that,you are asked to do,such helper works! "Fill my waterbottle," when the RO is just steps away!!! It seema like a maid of theirs, than a job that I am being paid for.... You are being taunted/scolded on every step.... without an option of giving reasons....Why are some people there of some sort?why can't people have humanity!!

Not especially a workplace drama here but a positive story at work!

Starting out in tech wasn't a walk in the park. Fresh from college at 25, I eagerly stepped into a corporate job, thrilled to be diving into the professional world. Quickly, I realized that being the sole woman—and a Black woman at that—in a sea of white male colleagues was not the most comforting experience. It was subtle things, really: conversations abruptly silencing as I walked by, lunch plans I somehow missed, and meetings where my voice felt like white noise. 🙄 Ever been there?

Initially, doubts clouded my optimism, and I frequently pondered if I was genuinely cut out for this industry. Imposter syndrome hit me hard, whispering, "Do I even belong here?" Each evening, I'd retreat home feeling disheartened and unsure, replaying awkward conversations and uncomfortably forced jokes. However, persistence became my best friend; after all, my parents always taught me to "keep my chin up and never let anyone dim my shine."

Gradually, things took a turn for the better. I found my voice in team meetings, confidently pitching my ideas, which surprisingly (to me, anyway) were not only heard but enthusiastically supported. The "bro culture" slowly melted away, replaced by genuine camaraderie and inclusivity. "We should've listened to you sooner," joked one colleague after my suggestion landed us a key project victory. Ironically satisfying, isn't it? 🤔

Nowadays, my workplace vibe has completely flipped the script. My colleagues aren't just co-workers; they're my friends. Lunchtimes are now filled with inside jokes, coffee breaks feel like mini-therapy sessions, and collaboration is effortless. Honestly, I never imagined I'd reach the point where I'd look forward to Monday mornings. Yes, you read that correctly—Monday mornings! The transformation still baffles me at times.

Reflecting on my journey, I'm grateful for the resilience I've cultivated and the bonds I've formed along the way. Sure, it wasn't easy at first—nothing worthwhile ever is—but these struggles taught me invaluable lessons about perseverance, confidence, and self-worth. To anyone currently feeling alienated or doubtful in their professional journey: hang in there. Change does come, even when it feels impossibly slow. And when it finally arrives, trust me, it feels amazing. 🌟

I honestly don’t get it; I’m a confident woman in my 40s, thriving in a fast-paced corporate setting, yet I flinch like a startled cat at every little thing. It’s not just the typical noise of a stapler slamming or a sudden email ping that sets me off—though trust me, that doesn't help my high-strung nerves. I've had colleagues burst into my office unexpectedly, and I practically leap out of my seat, knocking over my beloved coffee mug. It’s embarrassing. I’ve worked hard to build this reputation as a competent manager, yet this ridiculous reflex makes me feel like I’m six years old again, jumping at shadows. Shouldn't I have outgrown this by now? It’s particularly frustrating during meetings when someone raises their voice to make a point, and I’m there flinching between my notes like a deer caught in headlights. I can’t be the only one who experiences this, right? I mean, do you ever feel like your body just betrays you with its silly reflexes?

One time, during a really tense meeting about budget cuts, I was already on edge, and when someone slammed their hand on the table for emphasis, I practically yelped. You could hear a pin drop! Everyone turned to look at me, and I felt heat rush to my cheeks like I was back in high school being called out in class. I could've sworn someone stifled a laugh; I mean, it would have been funny if it weren't so mortifying! And it got me thinking—why do I put myself through these situations over and over again? Could it be that I'm just too sensitive to my surroundings? Or maybe it’s a deeper issue related to how I’ve been conditioned over the years. I wonder if my background has something to do with this. My parents were always on edge, and I guess I absorbed that energy. But it’s been years; I’m not that little girl anymore. Shouldn’t I be setting a standard of calm and poise instead? I desperately want to toughen up, but that flinch reflex just won’t quit. Is there an off-switch for this reaction, or am I doomed to be the perpetual jumpy one in the office? 🤷‍♀️

I wake up every day and look in the mirror, hoping for some sort of miracle to happen overnight. I still see the same tired eyes staring back at me. At 48, I thought I would be in a much better place in my career. Instead, I find myself stuck in a role that feels beneath my capabilities. I’ve always been a driven person, but lately, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even meant to be in this industry anymore. There was a time when I felt passionate about my work, but that fire has dimmed and it's scary to think that I might not be able to rekindle it.

My colleagues are mostly supportive, yet I often catch them rolling their eyes at my ideas in meetings. It stings. I pour my heart into every proposal, only to have them brushed aside without much thought. I find myself hesitating more and more to speak up, fearing that my voice doesn't carry the weight it used to. I question whether I’m bringing value to the team or if I’m just a relic of the past, clinging on to a role that doesn’t need me anymore. And that thought – the one where I picture myself as an unnecessary part of the equation – eats away at me. Should I swallow my pride and look for something new, or am I just being dramatic? How do you even know when it’s time to leave versus when it’s time to fight for your place?

Then there’s the ever-watchful comparison to my peers. Some of them were in the same position as me just a few years back, but now they’ve shot up the ladder like rockets. Promotions, raises, moving to other companies that seem to value their hard work while I’m still here, stuck in the same spot. I sometimes hear whispers about how I'm "overqualified" for my job, which feels like a backhanded compliment. On one hand, it’s nice to know people recognize my potential; on the other hand, what does that say about my current situation? Why am I not progressing? I wonder all the time if my age is catching up with me. Are younger, more energetic employees overshadowing me? Shouldn’t my experience count for something? But instead of naming my strengths, I focus more on my weaknesses, and that seems to cloud my judgment more than ever.

I had a performance review recently that only compounded my feelings of inadequacy. My manager acknowledged some of the projects I handled but stated I need to show more “initiative.” The word rings in my ears like a haunting reminder that I’m not doing enough. Instead of using it as motivation, I turned it against myself and have been replaying that moment in my head in an endless loop. “Why can’t I be more proactive?” I ask myself. “Why can’t I seem to innovate?” I left that meeting feeling like a shadow of the ambitious woman I once was. Have I become complacent? Or have the challenges of my personal life drained my energy to push forward at work? I’m constantly torn between wanting to be a high achiever and wrestling against feelings of being overwhelmed. How do you work through that? It's hard not to spiral into self-doubt when it feels like you're not reaching your full potential. I want to change the narrative, but where do I even start?

Work was a little bit better today, yet I can’t see how some people think I can do everything when I’m trying to do one at a time. I know they say you can’t be in two places at once but it feels like they think I can. I know my coworkers are trying to bass especially the last few months but with summer coming in everyone’s going crazy I don’t know how I can last. Plus I don’t know if my coworkers are thinking right I’m doing what they want me to do but at the same time They are not doing much either. I’m not saying they’re their work clothes too much for them but when you have people thinking you can do everything for you it does not help. I might be whining a bit, but that’s how I feel right now.

I've been workin at the same company for over four years now, and honestly, it still feels like I'm the odd one out. I’ve done my job, stayed late when needed, never caused any trouble, but still… something feels off. Like, when I walk into a room, conversations pause for a sec. When there’s a group lunch or afterwork drink thing, I’m always the last to hear about it—if I even hear at all. I try to tell myself it’s just in my head, but man, it keeps happening. It’s not that they’re openly rude or hostile, but there’s a vibe, you kno? Like I’m not really part of the team, just someone they have to tolerate. And the worst part is, I don’t even know what I did wrong.

I’ve tried to be nice. I smile, I say good morning, I ask people how their weekend went. Some just nod, others give half replies and walk off. Meanwhile I see them having inside jokes, sending memes in the group chat I’m barely part of, planning lunch together while I sit alone at my desk pretending not to notice. It’s draining. I’ve wondered a million times if it’s something about my face, my voice, the way I talk. Am I too quiet? Too weird? Maybe I came off as stuck-up when I first joined and now they just kept that opinion. But I swear I didn’t do anything to deserve this cold shoulder treatment. It’s like being invisible and watched at the same time.

Meetings are even worse. I’ll share an idea, and it’s like no one hears it—until someone else repeats the same thing five minutes later and suddenly it’s brilliant. I’ll send a message in the team chat, and no one replies, but the same question from someone else gets five thumbs-up and a laughing emoji. I keep my head down, keep doing the work, and still feel like I don’t belong. When there’s group work, I get picked last, like school all over again. It’s not even subtle. I once walked into the break room and heard my name—then silence. I smiled and said hey anyway, and they just mumbled and walked out. I felt so dumb standing there, pretending I didn’t feel that.

I’ve thought about leaving. So many times. But I’ve built things here. I’ve worked on good projects, had moments where I felt proud. And starting over somewhere else? Scary. What if the same thing happens there? What if it's not them—what if it’s me? That thought haunts me more than anything. Like maybe I’m just not likable. Maybe there’s something wrong with me that I can’t see but everyone else can. I try to fix things. I joined their stupid fantasy football league even though I hate it. I brought donuts on a Friday. No one even said thanks. I keep tryin and tryin, but nothing changes. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes I just wish someone would tell me the truth. Even if it hurt. Just say, “Hey, you’re too blunt” or “You don’t listen enough” or something. At least then I’d know what to work on. But this silence, this fake politeness? It’s worse. It’s like death by a thousand cuts. I don’t want to be the guy everyone avoids. I don’t want to feel like this. I’m just trying to work, to have a few decent connections, maybe a friend or two. But here I am, four years in, and I still eat lunch alone most days. So yeah, maybe people don’t like me. I wish I knew why. I really do.

I have a day at work and not gonna go in much detail, but let’s just say I made a mistake and yet everyone makes it feel like the stupidest idea I ever had. We are meeting. We cleared everything out, but I’m now feeling like I’m the bad guy all over again. Even my parents think that I did something stupid even though I can’t help it at times it’s just that I think what bugs me the most lately is the crying of others that makes me feel like I can’t stop it. They’re going to make it worse for me and I hate seeing crying. Everybody’s gonna blame me for one little thing. But I know a mistake. But it gets hard going to get this pressure specially from the people you’re working with cause they’re saying on their butts and not doing anything and you’re trying to do your best. I guess sometimes your best is not the greatest. Hopefully next week will be better.

my boss texted me this holiday at 7am!! just asked me to send a quick message to an agent and this exchange lasted for roughly 10minutes. now Im just worried that if I keep doing this, then it will not only be 10minutes but hours someday. I dont know if its okay to oblige to requests like this on a holiday even if it took me only 10minutes to talk with the agent. is it okay to accommodate simple requests like this if you are on vacation? my boss tends to scold us in our group chat if we dont respond immediately and attend to matters. to be honest, the message wasnt even urgent at all. its a national holiday and everyone is on vacation!!

i just feel like a complete failure lately. i’m 25, been working in IT for three years now, and every single day feels like i’m just fallin further and further behind everyone else. when i first got the job, i was excited, proud even. i thought i had made it, like all the hard work at university was finally paying off. but it didn’t take long to realize that i’m not even close to being on the same level as my coworkers. they fix things in minutes that would take me hours, they talk about complex stuff like AI integration, server security, backend architecture like it’s nothin and i’m just sittin there nodding like i understand when really my brain is just screaming "what are they even saying??". i’ve tried, like really tried, staying late, taking online courses, practicing coding at night when all i want to do is sleep, but it never feels like enough. it’s like there’s this wall between me and everyone else’s skills and no matter how hard i hit it, i cant break through. and now with AI getting better and better, i’m scared outta my mind. like what if they realize they don’t need someone like me anymore? what if some smart system can do my job faster, cheaper, better? sometimes i can barely breathe thinking about it, the panic just sittin heavy in my chest. a few weeks ago my manager called me in for a review and it was awful, he didn’t yell or anything but the words hurt worse, like he was disappointed, like he expected more outta me by now. he said i needed to "step up" and "take more ownership of my projects" but all i heard was "you’re not good enough" over and over in my head. i nodded, said all the right things, promised to work harder but inside i just felt numb. and ever since then, i’ve been walking around like a ghost, second guessing every single thing i do, terrified that one wrong move and they’ll just cut me loose. some nights i lay there staring at the ceiling thinking about what i’ll do if i lose this job, and honestly, i don’t have an answer. i don’t have a backup plan. i dont even have much savings. it’s not like companies are lining up to hire some average IT guy when AI can write code faster and cleaner than i ever could. i used to love tech, used to get excited about new updates and cool stuff being invented, but now it just feels like a countdown to when i get replaced. it’s exhausting, feeling like you’re drowning every single day and pretending you’re fine just to survive a little longer. and the worst part is i feel like it’s all my fault, like if i was smarter, faster, better, i wouldn’t be in this mess. i don’t know how much longer i can fake it, how much longer i can keep telling myself that tomorrow will be the day i finally catch up. because deep down, i’m starting to realize that maybe i won’t. maybe this is just who i am—a failure trying to keep up in a world that’s moving faster than i ever could.

At work, someone had big news and they were telling everyone about it. So I thought they said something to a two people that come every day in the afternoon to help out. When I mention this to them, they were shocked but it was not supposed to be me to say this. I thought the person I told them. And now I got a little lecture next time let me say this. The thing is I can’t minds and every time I get that look like why did you do that? It gets me down like I didn’t know that you want to tell them let me know next time. Yet I didn’t say that to them. I want to, but I can’t. It makes me feel like why tell me this or let me know that you want to say this to them, it’s kinda hard to have this, knowing what to say the fact is, I wanna tell these two workers that it it’s something important and they might wanna bring a gift for them. That’s all I know I might be the bad guy in this but in my point of view when I ever get these things or say the wrong thing, you didn’t tell me that you want to say this first or this is private please don’t tell anyone because I get mixed singles and I blur it out. It might not be great, but if you give me more detail, then it’ll be easier for everyone.