Workplace Drama

My boss is constantly sabotaging my relationship with a young woman. I want peace and quiet, a chance for thoughtful reflection, to embrace what we've shared, but that's not something my boss likes. Because when I come into contact with what happened with the young woman, I also come into contact with what happened with him. Therefore, I see him, and therefore, those feelings resurface, creating that unfortunate distance precisely because it's incongruous with his absence. This man thrives on making contact, to prevent others from reflecting, and thus avoid the situation becoming unpredictable. He did this once before, and now I understand the issue. He makes so many omissions that he needs me to remain unaware. Knowing whether one is alright in the workplace, amidst the emptiness, I believe, is a way to prevent the feelings that lead to these distances, born from brutal actions committed blindly by the authorities due to the lack of consequences—and they certainly want to prevent them.

This young woman and I have worked hard to maintain a peaceful relationship. In fact, she dislikes being contacted during her vacations. Of course, during the work season, her position demands her time at odd hours, simply because it involves work-related communications. She's a very nice young woman, although I must admit, she can be difficult to work with. I also confess that I'm finding it a bit difficult to write right now, as I'm doing it in a rush, because my boss contacted me today, disrupting my routine, where I hadn't anticipated any contact with him beyond the start of our work period. I don't like this approach, because, as I said, it doesn't allow for any real action to address issues. The idea is that the employee can react appropriately to what happened during the work period, to be more assertive, and to rectify the situation. Otherwise, interfering during the vacation period only results in keeping her tied down by comments about any inconsistency, making it easy to accuse her of deviating from expected norms, when the whole point of vacations is for individuals to express themselves fully.

This isn't something that boss understands, nor does it seem to many others. Everyone else embraces full contact, but I don't. In fact, the time I was in contact with the young woman was to establish my responsibility, to show that as a friend I maintained the necessary boundaries. I can even say that the issue was about establishing healthy limits for our relationship within the environment. I need this time for reflection so I can show her, no matter what, that she has made it difficult to compromise her principles. It wasn't that I forced her to do it, but rather that I felt her own principles were being contradicted. In other words, her feelings for life, which had been sidelined for too long, were being prioritized over her own goals. While we can say that her goals are achieved based on her principles, this is only in the preliminary stages. They weren't developed holistically, leading to unforeseen problems. When she tries to resolve these issues, she ends up abruptly denying them, thus necessitating a more immediate solution, as it's something she's struggling to handle, and it's clearly affecting her established objectives.

My concern with her was precisely to safeguard her goals at all costs and ensure they weren't compromised in any way. It wasn't something my boss understood, not at all. His mindset was that of a dictatorship, one that would create chaos among us, thus affecting his life and mine as well. He masked it with his power, and with public humiliation through victimhood. In fact, I had a major falling out with my boss. I'd always wanted to leave, because for a long time he'd been looking for any excuse to get me out of the office, or at least undermine me, to the point where the best course of action would be for me to resign. Undoubtedly, the possibility of my leaving was a powerful motivator this time, to destroy any chance he had of doing this and to get me out of the office, where my plan was precisely to be there for some quiet reflection. I had to protect my plans, and he wasn't helping in any way. The girl also needed to look after her plans, but she did so in an imposed way through the exploitation of trust, whenever she needed it for said plans.

The young woman, in fact, was suffocating everyone with her social insistence, trying to establish that she was comfortable in the office. However, this wasn't a positive outcome; rather, it was causing more friction for everyone else. She would promise to attend company parties and then fail to show up for some reason, if she even gave one, which I doubt. In effect, the young woman was already creating a kind of explosive situation, one that wouldn't tolerate any mercy if she found some significant work-related loophole to exploit. And they were already looking for her, because the young woman didn't do efficient work either; in fact, everything she did was just a quick fix. It was clear she was only in that office to carry out the tasks assigned to her and attend to her own affairs. I confess, this is the case with me, although I must also say that due to the lack of regulations governing how things are done, everything there is completely improvised, which is advantageous for doing things in that casual, almost haphazard way.

She seeks swift resolutions in the office, without much detail, prioritizing strict adherence to instructions, though any insistence is seen as abuse, thanks to her routine, which consists of other things. In a way, she shares my own spirit. I must also confess that the office doesn't inspire any seriousness, as the hours are far from those of a typical company; they're barely twenty percent of what you'd expect, and even then, they're flexible. The pay is vague, typical of a regular company, but under these kinds of schedules, it's a bargain. Unions are everywhere, so any enforcement by the authorities is met with suspicion. Essentially, the worker feels comfortable performing a social act, rather than a purely professional one, contributing to the upkeep, since the minimum elements for a proper work structure are lacking, precisely because everything is improvised, nothing is in writing. This leads to the office behaving, in the long run, as a social center, whether the authorities like it or not, in exchange for collaboration that is also extremely subsidized, making the company so needy that it accepts meager wages just to have people there, for goodness sake.

This very scenario leads to the formation of groups beyond those established by the bureaucracy, creating situations that transcend bureaucratic boundaries. In order to prevent the exposure of the current social reality, they establish themselves under the guise of what is forbidden. This is the case of my boss and his secretary, who maintained an elitist atmosphere in the office, a situation that was shattered when they used their work for personal gain, thanks to a complaint I filed. For my part, the young woman and I subsisted by carrying out our work, under the established conditions, and through occasional contact. We are using as an example a regulated love in the middle of the office, something that my boss and his secretary did not do, but rather sought that of boss and secretary in the face of adversity, that is, the inclusion of someone of their style in power and thus demonstrate that those below are not segregated.

My boss is a complete nuisance. He texted me to see how I am, when that's none of his business. The man tries to cultivate a friendliness that's fake, a lie, that really only serves his cronies, his political campaign at the university—because everything is a university, after all. He's the kind of guy for whom the point is to create scenes so others will speak well of him, to make relationships a kind of forced performance, and that's why he carries out a whole series of actions, as if drawn from some dark, unknown force, through which he confuses and stifles the freedom to be oneself. His anxiety is that there's some detail that could discredit him, and I feel like I've been his main target for a long time, and I'm fed up with being in this situation.

She desperately seeks strategies to make me give in, as does her secretary, allowing those dream deals where I am treated only as an employee and nothing more than an employee, under the logic that they have reflected, after conflicts occurred with a girl, where the house could not have made a change from one moment to the next that is not of a chameleon-like nature. He's someone who tries to corner me, and in fact, as I write this, I don't even want to make much of an effort to respond to him, because I feel I'll only get to the bottom of things—and I think that's his goal—about him, about how he is, and in that way express that we're still in contact despite the conflicts, that there hasn't been any break-up. I also want to make a statement to my friend, the young woman, that I'm not on good terms with her at all, and that her absence is leaving me completely deprived. Therefore, it's a relationship that isn't working, which translates into coercion towards her. I want to show that she's not the good person she portrays herself to be at work. It's something I can't allow, given that it's a life she's earned, a way of spreading gossip about her.

He's a despicable individual who wants to see her ruined, given that he's now digging deeper into her situation after it was publicly revealed that he used me as a tool for his own ends, without any regard for the social impact on the company, and in a blatant abuse of bureaucracy. He hates that young woman and is determined to undermine her at all costs. For a long time, she's been trying to get him to finally make a comment, to corner him, because if he has a hard place, he certainly does. He's doing the same with the secretary. We need that group to back down, no matter what, so we can have peace of mind regarding our relationship with them, because in the meantime, we have to focus on preserving our own space, seeking any opportunity for satisfaction. They're trying to accuse us of straying from our work, of being so focused on ourselves and our own interests, just like the secretary and him. We do our jobs, but they're infusing our work with the same projections they themselves used.

They are desperate, of course, because as time goes on, more things pile up, and their voices gradually fade, leaving practically no room for redemption. They are taking advantage of the difficulties we also have in maintaining normal relationships, all to establish that the office, the company itself, comes first. The complaint I filed wasn't enough for them; they are prepared to fight to get out of this situation by any means necessary. It's no longer about love, affection, or any kind of fondness, but rather about them getting back on track to reclaim the throne they once held. In the office, they were free to do as they pleased while everyone else remained silent. Now, this is our approach, of course. We don't intrude on their social life; we remain in a more casual way, as this is how we want to survive. This is how we avoid getting involved with them and can continue to live our lives together. Without the necessary foundation for survival, which is what allows us to exist, we find ourselves lost in some way, and our lives are then, thanks to that semblance of normality we haven't yet established, always at the mercy of a fall, which, due to our inertia, thanks to the affront of having already lost a social life, seems impossible.

We live defending ourselves against them at all costs; in a way, our very presence in the office becomes a clear provocation, prompting them to ask questions about our lives, about how we relate to others, so they can accuse us of trying to invade our space.

It's clear these people are only in it for survival, because after the complaint, their university life ended completely. They can't do anything to undo what happened, but at least they can ensure we're hurt in some way, that the environment doesn't support us either, because of the doubt, because of the possibility of exploiting our profiles within that institution, portraying us as abusive and submissive, which reflects poorly on the environment. Indeed, that's not what's happening. In fact, this same duo was between my boss and his secretary. Personally, and I have to say this now, the matter wasn't more difficult for me than simply wanting to express it calmly and peacefully.

I don't feel good about what happened, but our situation arose amidst these circumstances. This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. My father and stepmother both experienced the pressure from my stepmother's family. My father's marriage wasn't in the best shape, and my stepmother used that situation to end it, all within the context of prejudice. In this sense, what's happening isn't strange to me; it's more common, as if I'm already prepared for it. I want to protect the girl; she's my friend, and her leadership role is purely symbolic. She likes to delve into her life and how it's been, something I'm very grateful she doesn't do with me, as it's dramatic, and that's not something I can handle. It's more about each of us embracing our own space, for now, respecting what each of us is doing with our lives. During this time apart, we can recharge our energy for future encounters, so they can be unique and allow us to adapt and feel ready to move forward in whatever way is necessary at that moment. For now, we're just holding on, but I'm aiming for greater closeness, without, of course, abandoning our personal space altogether, since it's the foundation of our relationship.

Greater closeness is about embracing social circumstances to establish our place within all the groups, but we also recognize that personal space is fundamental to our well-being. Regarding sex, kisses, and going out, it shouldn't be more than what's essential to maintaining our connection with others, because our space, our shared heritage, is what truly matters. The fear of loss is ever-present, and life can certainly throw curveballs again, so it's also a matter of being prepared for adversity, for unpredictability. Hence the importance of personal space in finding a way to continue together amidst all this chaos. My boss and his secretary take advantage of our pain from loneliness, when in reality it's our most faithful ally, something they fail to grasp. My boss takes advantage of bureaucratic fears, given his persistence; however, unlike him, I retain authority thanks to my experience in facing others head-on. I didn't expect things to end this way with him, but given his prevailing political leanings, any other outcome would be surprising.

how do i become less judgemental of my f****g coworkers? it's like every single day is just an exercise in biting my tongue and pretending to follow along with their decisions. Seriously, I've tried so many times to see things from their perspective and I just can't help myself from thinking they're all so... well, dumb.

I work in a pretty typical office setting, dealing with project management software and associated lingo. The absurdity of some discussions is mind-numbing!!! They're using jargon like they're experts but missing the mark entirely in practical application. I wonder if it's me being overly critical or maybe they really are kind of dense? Does anyone else deal with this on a daily basis?? There's always this niggling doubt about whether I'm seeing the full picture or perhaps missing something obvious. Yet despite acknowledging this possibility, each team meeting (a.k.a "time for my inner monologue”) feels like an episode out of 'the office' sketches: ridiculous scenarios where basic logic seems secondary to superficial buzzwords... 🤦 And here I am with my constant internal commentary while trying not to roll my eyes too obviously! Is there a way to balance out all these judgments without compromising my sanity?

I have the feeling that everything in the office is finally running smoothly. Everything was assigned to my work group, as if the company's management had done, even though there were other work groups. These groups tried to be above the others, when what was needed was harmony. The other groups were constantly defending themselves against them, and I didn't realize it. I was looking for opportunities elsewhere. The situation escalated to the point that no one from any authority, besides the main one, was even allowed in the office, and even then, only under duress. I simply entered there while under their control, in that condition, even though I was part of the company. That omission by the others certainly had a negative effect on them, in an effort to get rid of me, because ultimately, no employee belongs to them, but to the company itself. It was a matter of ownership, where a young woman took the lead, being daring and somehow seeing a potential exercise in her leadership in the office, since her principles weren't shared by the others, nor by me, but the fact that they were opposed was what gave her the opportunity she had always wanted. In this way, she could clearly distinguish herself from the rest.

My boss despised the young woman, no matter what. Of course, for the young woman it was easy, since she played the hero for the task, but under the condition that if she failed, she would have to pay for it. My boss wanted to ensure that no one would distract me from being by his side; he saw me as a fundamental factor in safeguarding himself against the possibility that no one would want to work with him, to challenge his status in the company. My resignation, leaving everything within the realm of work, would clearly demonstrate that I was indeed incapable of maintaining a friendly relationship, even with people under my supervision. There was another girl who worked for him, but she didn't follow any of his styles. She was hired, adrift, and acted without much interest in the matter. He tried to counteract this in me, as it highlighted what others perceived, but he didn't succeed. After conflicts with the heroine, he tried to balance that firmness with excessive kindness, attempting to create a position of popularity based on pity, so that I could work calmly in the office without fear of reprisal, even though it might be unrelated to the purpose of my job.

I flatly rejected him. I defended the girl, cutting off any support for his plan to have her involved in an accident amidst prejudice. In this sense, they became harsh with me, exacerbating the extremes they had previously explored. Before, the issue had become so evident that it was a blatant display of their true nature, revealing that they were caught between guilt and the question of being or not being, thus justifying the attitude of the young woman who had worked for them before me. If they had been absent with her, making her work solely to cope with the experiences, with me they were the opposite. In both cases, however, the situation intensified. They demonstrated their inability to manage employees. In fact, such was the initial suspicion that the general coordinator began to entangle herself with me. She had no ties to the other young woman; in fact, neither did the others. Their relationship was merely superficial, as she was not truly present in the company, offering only optional support, even though her salary continued to accrue despite this. Of course, thanks to the absence of the work group, which allowed her to play the victim and still be paid, she could maintain a modus operandi of power by carrying out activities elsewhere, justifying her actions to the work group through understanding and excuses, based on the narrative that she was getting ahead.

This work group certainly has serious problems. Initially, they tried to tarnish my image within the company, given that it stemmed from another incident where my boss had left me at the mercy of his whims. This happened when someone he disliked took command of the group, resulting in my marginalization by default. I didn't say anything, and they told me they knew what had happened, so there was no need to speak up, according to them. I was caught between a rock and a hard place: if I didn't say anything, then I was hiding something, since I was focused solely on my work; but if I did say something, I would face accusations of trying to silence the previous group. Fortunately, I somatized, revealing that the matter was entering the realm of psychiatric care, thus thwarting his attempt. There were other attempts later, all completely futile. The problem was that my return to my boss, given the circumstances, highlighted his image as someone who neglected his team members.

This situation had already been happening with his secretary and with the young woman who had been there from the beginning. Their attempts were completely futile. It's curious; they thought then that nothing could happen to overshadow their initial, crucial decision. My boss was looking for any way to make it appear that I was entirely responsible for what happened at the other location, since I didn't give in. Of course, at my current company, my effort was the opposite: to give in, albeit somewhat. I didn't socialize much at first, but that very eagerness led me to embrace the opposite. It gave the impression that they had me all to themselves and that my giving in was only because they told me to. I was at the company then, just to cover my boss's tracks and out of fear of others, making it clear that I didn't want to be where my boss was, that I was there precisely because of the consequences of the previous incident. It's also curious that they presented themselves as saviors in the face of what happened on the premises, but the argument wasn't convincing, as it was always about avoiding my situation, in terms of my stay, because of its implications.

The girl's actions were what made everything explode. I tried to make contact with her, seeking to be consistent and balanced with her. Her plan to take control was different: to create instability in that solitude, to have me at her mercy, in a dominant way. In that impulse, everything erupted into a conflict, and it became clear that my desire to socialize, and my failure to do so, was evident. The girl was initially accused of overstepping boundaries, for the benefit of others, under that heroic scheme, and her means of survival were failing, although she didn't want to admit it. The protection afforded by my work group became an extreme priority, because failing to do so would have only served to expose what was happening on the premises: leaving my boss to my own devices and without any regard for his safety. This helped me understand their controlling nature, which I confronted without difficulty, despite their attempts to engage in conversation where every gesture and word could be measured, where any lack of freedom would be clearly seen. The group was prepared to carry out this tactic, always viewing it as coercion. Having broken free from this controlling zeal and restored communication with the girl, they desperately tried to damage my reputation, but it was impossible. They were trapped, surrounded by a minefield, with me as their only escape route. They had to eliminate me, but in their desperation, I remained calm, knowing that this situation, as well as the girl's case, was under control.

The girl persisted in being the dominant figure, but I completely stood up to her. If we were going to be together, it was as a duo, going beyond mere direction, and thus achieving our distinction. My work group, for its part, became a factor that threatened the company community in general, as it was clear they were employing me as they pleased.

it's hard to find motivation some mornings when your day revolves around the small confines of a bedroom. working remotely, without the distractions of kids or a partner, it's just me and my thoughts in this cloistered space. the idea of waking up, pulling myself out from under the warm covers... well, let's say it's not exactly appealing. eventually, i'll open my eyes and them to a screen for that standup meeting (with the lap top still perched on top of my sheets). but each morning feels like a rising tide that i have to combat just to get started.

my workday begins late since everything's remote. awaking without haste because who really notices if i'm up at dawn? standup meetings blur with brunch as i reluctantly join from bed, one eye adjusting to sunlight streaming through blinds mostly shut tight. this lack of physical office presence makes it easy to slip into complacency, knowing there's no hallway gossip awaiting or water cooler chats about nothing.

other times, i look around at what should be my home (a place teeming with potential for connection and camaraderie) yet it remains hollow. fellow IT folks inhabit other rooms but we are ships passing quietly by night; an occasional wave through delivery left mistakenly at another door is our rare exchange. days pass where venturing beyond four walls seems pointless when every necessity arrives wrapped neatly by courier.

after all, why even bother going out when everything can come in? food prepared by another hand always tastes better than attempts made amidst seclusion. yet herein lies irony: convenience breeds stagnation growing more potent than morning coffee could ever energize me against lethargy setting in slowly like creeping vines over time... sighing slightly under breath hands fall upon keyboard aiming familiarity while mind drifts between emails meetings browsing whatever catches interest momentarily

still there's hope present... maybe tomorrow will push me beyond comfort zone towards uncharted possibilities ! gaining inspiration fueled not solely by caffeine alone but purpose untapped until now... for hidden depths once ignored amidst routine must lead somewhere rewarding waiting patiently those willing dare seek them out;

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're just too invested in your work? I'm definitely one of those people who can't seem to let go of every little detail at the end of the day. It's like my brain goes into overdrive, hyper-analyzing every task and interaction until I'm exhausted. And you know what's frustrating? The other coworkers around me don't seem to have this problem at all! They're able to clock out and leave everything behind without a second thought, while I'm stuck triple-checking emails and presentations long after the office lights are out. I know it's not healthy, but it's so hard to stop.

I remember one time staying up until 2 AM because I was convinced that I had made an error in a report submitted earlier that day. Spoiler alert: there was no error. But the mental energy spent worrying and reanalyzing could have been used for something much more productive or enjoyable. I've read quotes like "Don't sweat the small stuff," and yes, I understand it intellectually. But applying that wisdom is another matter entirely! My mind just doesn't want to surrender control.

Lately, I've been trying to adopt some coping mechanisms I've read about in articles or heard through podcasts. Things like setting strict boundaries around work hours with clear signals that tell my mind it's okay to relax now have helped incrementally improve my peace of mind. In reality though, I envy those folks who effortlessly maintain their work-life balance!!! Maybe it’s about learning how to care less while still doing good work... Is there a way to care less without feeling careless? 😅 It feels like quite the balancing act sometimes!

you know what's frustrating? as a 51-year-old man in today's ever-evolving world of IT, i find myself surrounded by young, energetic team members who are fresh out of college and brimming with new ideas. year after year, i'm met with the same scenario: eager juniors who think they have it all figured out (but they just use claude code and they know nothing). it's baffling how they waltz into meetings wielding their technological prowess as if they are the kings (or queens) of the digital realm. i mean, really??? sure, technology is advancing at breakneck speeds and yes, there are things i learn along the way too, but come on! oftentimes when i attempt to share my decades worth of experience or provide guidance, i'm brushed aside like an old newspaper. that can be so bloody offensive!!!

isn't it amusing how life works sometimes? we spend our youthful years building knowledge and skills only to discover that we're becoming dinosaurs in our own fields because youngsters view us as outdated! well not me pal!!!!! just because you're young and tech-savvy doesn't mean you’ve got it all sewn up like grandma's quilt - though gosh knows it might take more than a stitch or two to patch up that attitude lol! what really gets under my skin is this presumed superiority complex... quoting shakespeare here this 'insolence born from demands' seems fitting doesn’t it?

i guess these whippersnappers do come armed with innovative solutions now and then. lord knows I’ve seen them save our bacon once or twice when systems crashed spectacularly! so sure??!! there’s value in diversity!!! if we merge experience with novelty maybe we'd strike gold ha??? maybe listening will bridge generational divides! shifting paradigms huh.... truly takes patience & diplomacy both ways!!!

So recently i've started working at this bakery workshop, and honestly? it's been terrible???? Being trans has made things like ten times harder. People there just keep making fun of me all the time. I'm trying to do my job but the constant harassment is so exhausting! It's not like I can just tell them to stop since I don't want to draw even more attention to myself!

And then i come home thinking maybe it'll be a place where i can breathe, but no! My parents... they just don't get it??? i've tried so many ways to explain my situation but it's like talking to a wall, you know?? There's zero understanding or support in that house most of the time. Sometimes it feels more like i'm an outsider living with strangers instead of my own family!

Even when i go out elsewhere, it doesn't really change much. Friends drift apart because they can't deal with 'it'. New people won't stick around long enough because by then they've probably heard some twisted version of who i am! Makes me wary of trusting anyone new??? Tired of worrying about trust and betrayal.

Like always feeling misplaced wherever i exist... Wondering why nothing seems right anywhere anymore??? Am I asking too much for a little bit of acceptance & peace?! Or just wishing for something far-reaching?! 😞

I'd like to do more, but I can't. They behaved like thugs, using the marginalization of the girl without any compassion. Resolving things by replicating violence in another way isn't the way to promote coexistence, and that's everyone's responsibility, although some are specifically assigned to that role. It's not something that excludes others. These people even told me how I should relate to others, how to establish my connections with them, when that's something inherent to the nature of our relationship. It's not something that can be manipulated or controlled in one way or another, because that leads to an artificial existence. I'm not going to be involved with the company, nor can I pretend to be. Being involved artificially, through that "being there or not being there," hinders the natural development of relationships, which is what the girl intended, until she realized that with me, it was precisely that which was causing problems for her progress, because I could leave and she would still feel a chance of returning. With me, her desire to keep relationships within a certain framework was impossible, and she was certainly judged for it, as she was emphatic about it. These scoundrels were extremely discreet about it; they didn't feel like they belonged, just as she didn't, precisely because the others didn't share her same spirit—that of being confined with the rest, of sharing interests, of getting involved. It's a fear of intimacy, undoubtedly, but even within a company, that's not easy; rather, it hinders its development. There's a factor of effort required to endure it, and the justifications certainly support the position, the idea being that we all feel empowered.

That girl, for the love of God and Jesus Christ, has certainly pulled through. Now she manages to fit in with the others, like a nail in its place, like a piece of wood fitting perfectly into the whole she's part of. She's an enthusiastic person who feels like she belongs, in her own way, in her own style. While her presentation might not be entirely pleasant given the social standing present, she's perfectly entitled to show her true self. In fact, that's the spirit that's essential in any company. I won't ask her to do that with me, because I'd feel completely unfamiliar. Between us, the past, in any form, isn't relevant to me. What matters is coordination in the present, what we're going to do right now, and then we'll see what we use to achieve it. The past, I believe, can't be an option from any perspective. Instead, we should appreciate that we tolerate each other's silences. Each of us has our own life, in our own way, and we each have an interest in the other, in our own way, but we must acknowledge that we are all different. That's the foundation of our love, something these scoundrels don't understand at all. They aim for homogenization by any means necessary, leaving one between a rock and a hard place, driven by their fear of what others might say about being with them. For them, what matters are the opinions of others, and that's where their satisfaction comes from. Between this girl and me, what matters is the embrace of "us," which we've worked hard to build over a long period, to embrace the fact that this is our space, this space between us, which is part of our lives. But I insist, we also honor the fact that we already had other things.

These scoundrels rely on empty rhetoric to confine realities, to bind them. Between us, it's not like that. We don't live in imposed peace, but in peace built by taking risks and, from there, establishing empathy. After all, every day could be our last. These scoundrels claim that empathy is the key to maintaining their image, always pointing to the future, of course, in a completely naive way, since they are simply imposing the current situation. For God's sake, I don't feel they understand a single word I'm saying, even though one of them is a professor at one of the most prestigious universities in my country. To me, he's become a guy who holds a degree, who responds politically to the demands of knowledge and the teaching profile, but in reality, he's not a man of integrity and carries out transferential practices in his work. I've never heard him, for the love of Jesus Christ, cite any theory as his guiding principle; this is something the work group to which this young woman belongs does, bureaucratically and only in this way. They understand that they don't control her, something these scoundrels failed to grasp, and it's become perfectly clear to them that we're only here for the job and nothing more.

Sentimentality isn't something to be embraced by these types, because they don't understand change, something this young woman and I have understood, something we have embraced. Among the others in the company, continuity of form is embraced; between her and me, it isn't, and that's what gives us that feeling that everything could always end, because of some misfortune. But we forget that there's always something we'll do in the face of adversity, something that has served to bring us closer and closer, in the sense that we face life's arbitrariness; we're not a closed world, but an open one. Of course, this is entirely a victory, because I saw that the young woman had an interest in me, and I in her, even though she won't admit it. I was always drawn to her strong, rebellious spirit, and her way of speaking, which made me see that she could defend her principles to the letter, but every outcry always exposes doubt about those principles, so I could establish a bond with her, through our differences. It's the coexistence of reductionist materialism and a similar kind of spiritualism, which ultimately tend to converge, since the former embraces the latter, always searching for it, just as the latter does, for both contribute to a healthy, pleasant, and balanced existence in keeping with the times—therein lies the crux of the matter. That young woman, like me with her, has learned that our spirit requires that other side, making us feel complete among ourselves, at least in its constant evolution.

We feel our own transcendence because we reject rigid forms; we want something that truly resonates with us. Thanks to our spirit, we've been pressured to be categorized, to lean towards extremes, but this very tendency has led us astray, establishing forms of coexistence that were always in question. I thought it was just her, but it wasn't. It was an argument that led us to realize we were ultimately on the same page, searching for the other extreme, and that establishing a struggle to see who would dominate was simply contrary to our spirit. Both she and I were searching for each other; both she and I knew where to strike, precisely to establish that, despite our differences, we could truly understand each other's perspectives. This is something my boss wanted to prevent at all costs, because it meant me joining the outcast of the group, thus creating internal rumors of terrible treatment, which was true, it did happen. And, to help keep that from coming to light at the expense of simplistic considerations, of manipulating my subjectivity, which isolated me from the world, was definitely the opposite of a healthy group, because it prevented me from having the essential thing in life: establishing a shared context. It was sabotage, as they always have, ever since I've known them, to be precise.

I don't feel I'm belittling my coworkers; this isn't their level, since for them life is nothing more than imposing their will on the flow of events. For her, it was the same, as it was for me, but over time we both gave in, and not for any particular reason, but because of the right person.

I've just been promoted to a managerial role, and it's becoming crystal clear that I have serious control freak tendencies. I used to be in a more technical position where I could handle tasks myself without much interference. Now, as a manager, I've got a whole team to oversee, and it's driving me insane not being able to do everything on my own terms. It's like I'm constantly looking over their shoulders, second-guessing every move they make. Why do I feel the need to micromanage every single aspect? 😡

It's embarrassing how much this is affecting me. My team's productivity is actually pretty good when I step back (which isn't often), but it's like giving up control makes me anxious beyond belief. I've tried delegating small tasks, and sure, they manage it fine... but still! I find myself correcting things that don't even need correcting half of the time.

Honestly, how do people handle this? What magic trick am I missing here? Do I really have to go through some kind of attitude adjustment therapy to learn how to stop being such a control freak? Or maybe there's just something wrong with my wiring altogether. In the end, all this controlling behavior might backfire on me and alienate the very people I'm supposed to lead.

I think I have found a new way that dudes can be total dicks at work. So there's kind of two parts to my job as a tech writer - keep up with what's going on and make sure we have docs for all our features (BAU) and make improvements to how the docs perform (optimisation, including AI-optimisation). These activities usually go in parallel. With AI, dudes have suddenly started to tell me how I should innovate / must change, enhance, or fix things. And they keep pushing a truck tonne of suggestions at me - or worse - just doing shit with my stuff without consulting me - and then expecting me to be on board with their brilliant ideas. I'm not being brought in, or asked, or consulted. I'm just being told and preached to, and shown.

It feels like the work equivalent of being sent back to the kitchen while dudes take all the glory for a successful party. They don't have to see, acknowledge, or do any of the menial doc chores. They just get to be out front (on slack) having great ideas and then taking the glory. It's pissing me off.

I don't want this to be a #notallmen discussion derailed by buthurt dudes who think I'm generalising. I'd appreciate responses more about the "coming in over the top and being an AI-hero behaviour" than the fact that I have only experienced this from men. I cannot help but read it as just another version of mansplain/one-up/competitive/look at me behaviour that I have seen in jobs for decades.

Survival is paramount, especially in a company where the "company" aspect is merely a facade to mask the shady dealings that are brewing inside. They prioritize survival above all else. The authorities intend to treat it like a private home, managing it according to family power transfers, but this already reveals their incompetence. The authorities are blind, making decisions based solely on eliminating problems, without considering the consequences. No one there bothered to protect me or my friend, not in any way, as everyone was focused on clinging to authority and upholding the hegemony of their respective groups for their own protection. No one believed that someone would be capable of betraying my group, of orchestrating my departure, and of securing a position of authority—a position that was also my friend, a leader among the others, even though not within the bureaucracy. This doesn't limit her actions, which, in fact, don't consist of giving me orders, since it's a team effort, but rather of acting openly in front of everyone. She counts on me, and the others know that I can operate independently, something that would seem insane to others if they weren't part of a group. However, every group has its strengths, and I'm someone who likes to improve in every situation.

My work group thought I knew everything about tax management, but they didn't count on me being swayed, on knowing how to use their questions to my advantage, on realizing that any trust I placed in them was simply naive, because there was never any such trust. They assumed so, not realizing that everything I said was entirely in my favor, and I was exposing them in their eagerness to go beyond what was necessary at work. They are people who don't respect clear company boundaries, whose role is purely political even in the performance of their duties, with a desperate desire to survive, at the cost of nothing but silence. With my friend and me, that wasn't the case. In fact, after a conflict, I spoke of her needing to vent, but they took it as if it were my doing, when in reality it wasn't. Throughout the whole process, they thrived on their group deficiencies, on achieving anything that would benefit them, on the idea that I couldn't say anything and that they could control the discourse, but along the way, that dynamic began to crumble. They tried to steer things this way and that, without success, creating such a mess that they reached a point where they had no choice but to resort to any excuse to create a bitter, poorly crafted, desperate image of me. They were already in a state of flux, not really knowing what was happening; only their fears remained. To the point that, in an attempt to prevent them at all costs, they went so far as to provide the very thing that would give them grounds for denunciation: preventing me from going to the company because they weren't going there, not for work-related reasons, even though I could go.

It was very easy to crush them. That wasn't my objective per se, because there's always the possibility of surrender, but they can fight to the end. After all, it's the only thing they have left after failing, to find some solace in the attention of others. Ultimately, what they seek is an absolute loss of power, a loss that arbitrariness has wrought upon them—that's the protocol. My friend is extremely happy, not for any other reason than that she's finally managed to make my boss, a chauvinist disguised as a constant barrage of stress and jokes, completely contrary to his usual persona, fawn over her. He can't say a word about her, not even the slightest bit. She feels fortunate to offer him any support, especially in those situations where a little help is always welcome. But in her case, it means dealing with someone who desperately asks why on earth she's being included in something she hasn't agreed to in any way—something that did happen with me, of course, under justification and behind other people's backs. We're told we have a friendly relationship, not a friendship, but in practice, it amounts to the same thing. She leads by putting herself out there in front of the group, making those comments behind closed doors, in order to establish ourselves. Our group allows us the advantage—a delightful one we always crave—of exercising our individuality as we wish. After all, we fulfill our job duties completely, leaving any potential mistakes and other issues to the bosses, who, due to stress and the need to prevent conflicts through desperately given instructions, have to put up with it. In the office, we feel completely free to be ourselves and to have the relationships we want, adapting our approach to the environment.

It's about doing our own thing, something special, something meaningful, something that allows us to feel a dignified intimacy, but that transcends circumstances and situations. We're not here for that; we're tired of the staged events, which in themselves lead us to feel completely insecure around others. Feeling different, and others perceiving us that way, has meant that these situations serve as mere bait for some kind of gain, some abuse of the pleasures we can offer to those around us, but don't want to. This has been one of my boss's obsessions with both me and her, because he couldn't see things one way and believed they couldn't be any other, resulting in constant sabotage. She's the worst person, attached to his secretary, who thought she had all the tools in the emotional game, but that wasn't true. My boss had someone who knew absolutely nothing about emotions, other than how to manipulate in a completely obvious way that convinced no one, and on top of that, he was obsessed with seeing things done quickly so he could keep moving forward. Their serious problem is that they didn't consider their position, what they were facing, and the experience of everything ending so quickly, without much discernment of the consequences, precisely because of the limitations of the company itself. This could easily lead one or the other to make accusations against the other.

My friend and I thrive on a pleasant, enjoyable, and timely yet coordinated connection, which provides the other essential ingredients. We recognize that it arises within an environment not designed for this kind of interaction, but we embrace it and make something of it, which is why each encounter is simply special. Their current blockages, in effect, are ways of reinforcing the idea that our changes are made by ourselves, without any interference from either of us in the other's life. This allows for that space, that openness to our feelings, and it has certainly done us good. To the point where, albeit somewhat dilapidatedly, we can say that each of us is more prudent with the others in our communication, knows our place, our limits, and is no longer disruptive. We emerged within the social order, and that's precisely why we have a place there. The seed for it was already there, thus conveying to the surroundings that it was worthwhile. That's when we stopped trying to create divisions among ourselves, which only made our lives more stressful, more closed off, and less open, giving the impression that we would eventually leave the company. Now, it's precisely this collaborative spirit within the environment that allows both them and us to feel connected. Each of us, my friend and I, contributes from wherever we can, with whomever we can, and however we can, to those who are strictly within the work sphere. It's clear who we are, and that's why we all breathe, because everyone respects each other's boundaries.

As for the little group of thugs I was talking about, the issue was that everyone was waiting for that moment when everyone would leave them, even me, who, according to them, was the best treated of the group.

I can't stand all the changes happening at work these days!!! Like seriously??? It's been such an AWFUL time recently with all this AI stuff suddenly taking over everything!! Why can't things just be like they used to be? Everything gets so complicated and confusing now. Honestly, it's making my job feel like a never-ending nightmare. I'm supposed to adapt and learn all these new systems and tools but who has the time or energy for that?!

It seems like every day there's something new implemented. There's no time to breathe or catch up before we're thrown into another new process that 'improves efficiency' (or so they say). I don't believe it half the time; These changes seem to make things more difficult rather than easier! The whole ecosystem is shaken by this synthetic intelligence invasion!!! Every protocol we followed changed overnight, and it's frustrating trying to keep up with pace of development now required of us in our roles.

Work used to be straightforward! We knew what was expected of us: log in, complete tasks and clock out... Now, we're inundated with training modules!!! Honestly, how many learning sessions does one person need? It feels like a massive overload of information even before starting proper operations for a client task. We are bombarded by updates on algorithms which are supposed to replace manual reporting methods. As if being human wasn't enough anymore!

Sure, I understand technology is good but there needs balance!!! Implementing everything simultaneously?? Surely that's not strategic planning I'm seeing... Maybe if they'd give us adequate support I'd be more open-minded towards accepting it - explaining rather than just imposing would go lengths. Every discussion leads nowhere except further entrenched gridlock when queried about compatibility issues mounting outta nowhere.

Change maybe inevitable but can we slow down? Let people adjust rather than pushing them overboard when not ready mentally nor professionally match yet demanded standards determined overnight sharpened skills checklist involved???? Being optimistic aside reality checks needed ensuring realistic pacing while apprenticing newer methodologies working past resilient experience held previously integral!! I guess ultimately adapt level heading cautiously contrive progression sustain...

I don't feel there's much to say at this moment, other than to criticize the things I've experienced, with which I completely disagree. I want to begin by observing how impressive it is that, in the office environment, each manager limits their interaction with their employee to the extent that their own personal circumstances, shaped by their experiences, allow. Otherwise, they tolerate the employee only when there's no reason to reprimand them.

I'm still surprised that I was blocked at the office and no one did anything about it at all. Everyone assumed that contact wasn't essential for that person and therefore that it could remain that way—that is, that my marginalization could continue. And yet, no one did anything, not even my boss. No one realized the impact of this, not even by paying attention, and that's where I feel radically excluded: in the midst of an emergency, at the moment when, without exception, we can all be useful. In other words, I don't feel taken into account at the office when I have the means to contribute. However, I don't feel the need to file any complaint or anything like that, because even that would be seen as an excuse. This person's exclusion made me realize that in the most important moments, including emergencies, I can't participate if I don't have the necessary resources, which isn't my fault.

This is something the company's management should be aware of, but they aren't. I feel completely marginalized from the group, and the negligence is clear. This person, of course, isn't going to conduct any review, and I highly doubt any of the authorities will even look into this. After all, they can't imagine an emergency involving this person where I could be of any use. In fact, the company didn't support me at all, neither my boss nor anyone else, who only offered me crumbs because of their inability to uphold the basic principles of a harmonious work environment. That's when I undertook the necessary task of handing my group over to the others, given that they offered no support whatsoever, only a superficial and inadequate response. Therefore, I didn't support the company at all in their efforts to destroy this employee, aiming for his permanent dismissal since he was always getting into trouble.

Now, that person is in charge, and I'm with him. Initially, I found no support for my situation, and I was even pressured and accused of being weak for seeking psychiatric or psychological help, with the pressure being on me to be strong at all costs. Feeling marginalized hurt me deeply and made me empathize with that person, who was also marginalized. I joined him because I know what it's like to be disregarded, to have your own principles ignored, and to have people interfere in your life at every turn, preventing you from going beyond what you need, where your voice has no value whatsoever. Now, this individual controls my life both at the company and in the town. I have to admit, society itself betrayed me by failing to see what I was doing. In contrast, this individual was there to take responsibility despite his shortcomings. He didn't try to hide anything; he made improvements through small details that hit the right flank. Undoubtedly, perhaps, we can say that I was the one he needed to rise to power in the company, despite not having the bureaucracy to foster bias in the chain of command.

I was the pawn he needed, the one who made me, from the group everyone wanted on his side, now on his side, making it clear that if something was indeed happening, that this group was indeed plotting against him, as it's the second time this has happened. It's the second time someone has been marginalized, being new, and moreover, under a modus operandi different from the norm. In other words, it became clear that the group harbors an inherent resistance to difference; therefore, it's not focused on current trends, but rather on a homogenizing and exclusionary system. Consequently, the group, which set out to integrate me into the company, achieving a degree of opposition, failed and ended up being marginalized. My character and I are marginalized, while the other group, where we have priority, embraces our differences on every level, unlike them, who choose to express their opposition at the cost of concealing flaws. Acknowledging our differences, despite a history of past mistreatment and disputes within our respective work groups, and forging our own union, has resulted in our being relevant to the company's popularity, unlike these others who even attacked my character, demonstrating that they are a detrimental element to the company.

The employees themselves, acting as spokespeople to their families, who in turn tell the rest of the world, determine that this leads to comments that, depending on their nature, create doubts about the future of all employees. Therefore, what my work group does is essentially bound to be marginalized because it goes against this, and furthermore, it constitutes an abuse of authority, which is the last straw for everyone there. In essence, a company where authority is abused to mistreat diversity is evidence that the system favors segregation through the abuse of power, thus making it clear that diversity is not something to be embraced by the group, even though, in principle, it is permitted. Thanks to this attitude, my boss and his secretary have declined drastically; neither is tolerated anymore, but rather seen as parasitic elements, because even though they are under his command, neither of them is treated effectively; instead, each operates independently. In fact, it's curious that everything associated with them is kept separate from them, barely connected by a purely bureaucratic process.

They tried to prevent it at all costs, attacking my image at every turn. There were several attempts, but I personally found myself capable of handling it, of being receptive to their spirit, of understanding their circumstances. But the point is that they did it in public, blurring the lines between what should be private, thus establishing for everyone else that they were completely out of line. Indeed, we're talking about how they had become chaotic, without any apparent cause, initially, because the reasons were undeniably dangerous for them, since they acted outside the law, believing that I could be implicated, precisely because we were talking about what they would call nonsense. But the law comes first and is the basis of coexistence; however, they didn't understand this. They tried to escape at all costs, but they couldn't.

For some time now, I've been developing various frameworks to visualize the situation that unfolded in the office and with this individual. This person made me see what it was like to be in his shoes, and I don't deny that he blocked me, primarily because I feel that my lifestyle is being valued—a lifestyle of being immersed in my private affairs, deeply involved in them, trying to keep others out of my way so I can focus entirely on them. I feel that I am valued more than the company; that is, I am the one being considered for various life situations, not the company, the very same one that marginalized me and that he also marginalized. It wasn't easy for me to witness this loving spirit on his part, and the respect he showed me, his solitary soul, as he likes to call it, which is how he defines me. I feel he embraces me in a hidden way, safeguarding my values, unlike the others, that group in the company who acted for their own interests, making me a part of them at the cost of receiving more detailed and frequent attention, which, however, wasn't contextualized, but rather imposed. This person definitely didn't do that. With so much love, he won me over, starting from the premise that he was dealing with me and not with a projection of himself, based on the fact that I was different and wanted to be that way, not on the fact that I was different and wanted to be normal, like everyone else.

I feel deeply hurt because my boss has interfered with one of my friends, and that's something I can't allow. It's incredibly difficult for me to have friendships, and to just abandon them like that, especially after manipulation and by dictating the terms of my interactions with them, is disrespectful. It's an imposition on the very nature of my life that I cannot tolerate under any circumstances, and I feel compelled to stand up for myself immediately by any means necessary. For him to ask me if I'm doing this because I like this person, want a relationship, or something like that, is disrespectful. It's an accusation that I'm trying to turn a human being into a profile, and that goes completely against my principles.

This individual has interfered in my life beyond all bounds, and now I feel compelled to remove him by any means necessary and to report his actions. I see that he's completely out of control, and something must be done about it. The days are over when I supported his dominance, when he used me and our relationship as a means to achieve stability, which is to do so at my expense. I can't allow that. I'm there to work for the company, not for him, and it's clear that I'm definitely not with him to carve out my own territory. He doesn't control me, even if it means facing every hell imaginable. Personally, I'll fight for my life, of course. I need to be with my friend. I can't let circumstances push me aside. She and I are fed up with this. What we have is very special. We had difficulties at the beginning, but that's natural. I'm tired of this guy always interfering, making us blame each other, just like that, and hiding behind the machinery of his own narrative. This is serious.

Given the recent events in my country, I didn't hesitate and took advantage of the crisis to expose this scoundrel, to reveal his true nature, desperately seeking understanding. This is a mechanism to gain favor, even at the cost of bureaucratic abuse, constantly admitting and admitting, which serves as a smokescreen, masking what one doesn't see. He is a great individual without feelings, living off others to expand his power, but his days are over, as the authorities themselves, on all sides, have betrayed him, exposing him completely. He cares about no one but himself, and he has tried to make me sympathize with him through feelings, through empathy, but personally, I have no interest whatsoever in this miserable, heartless politician who has found ways to flaunt his machismo by exploiting a woman's vulnerability, just as he did with my friend.

I understand why this is happening with his secretary, who hasn't made any effort to leave in any way. Instead, she's normalized the situation and, when push comes to shove and he's in trouble, she's looking for ways to confront him about it, revealing that she lives only for running away, without any real grounding. They aren't good people in any sense; they thrive on manipulation, on the extreme control of subjectivity, on making the world turn out the way they want, without any mercy, relying on these group games that distract him. In fact, they even find it amusing to pry into one's private life, desperately trying to steal anything that might enhance their image within the company. However, those days of support are over too, because everyone in the company openly and clearly supports my relationship with my friend, who I believe is defending us. One always sees it through the doormen or those who are always present and observing, precisely because their profession is to make receptiveness to professions possible.

I am definitely announcing with this, and proudly so, that a bad man has fallen and that he dragged his secretary down with him, because his hypocrisy is no longer believed in any way. His good intentions, support, and so on, only make us understand that what matters to them is manipulation at all costs. In fact, it was because of them that people distanced themselves from me, and I didn't realize it, but they all saw that there was indeed something about me that was out of place, and that it wasn't right to be a lover of emotions just to get something from others, but rather to become transparent, to integrate myself. I didn't want an isolated life as they intended, to the point that they tried to control my relationships with others. I really had to figure it out; it was almost spontaneous, I must say, because although it was ingenious, everything turned out to be easy for me.

It all stemmed from a routine that was itself based on another routine, one that took into account that something out of the ordinary was happening, something my boss and his secretary failed to consider. They tried to use their own tools, their own routine, to deal with me, even though I was clearly an outsider to their routine. Therefore, they refused to acknowledge they were in trouble and acted defensively. This is the problem, for them, of living in groups where normality is the imperative, not the practice. It's something many people don't see, and I think it needs to be discussed.

I don't feel comfortable around these people. Everyone rebels against them, and they don't consider any context. They live in perpetual victimhood, always aiming to perpetuate the dictatorship they created. Everything always gets out of hand, something always happens, and they live at the mercy of the fact that if it's not one specific person, then the issue is simply a matter of hiding. They live solely off their image, which is the only thing that protects them, and they attack anyone who isn't part of their circle by any means necessary, through gossip, through that string of things that justify any accident not as an accident but as intentional, precisely in their eagerness to accuse it of being entirely deliberate. They are monsters, and I can't believe I had to work with them, but well, it's out of my hands, and I am infinitely grateful for my perseverance, because, even though I didn't say it, I felt completely capable of handling them. They saw my complete trust as excessive, and it was precisely that illusion that led to their downfall. It is astonishing, without a doubt, to observe how these people smiled at their own misfortune, at their own ruin.

My friend was aiming for the same thing, from every point of view, but it all came down to setting limits, acknowledging risks, the possibility of loss, because not everything is permanent, not everything will always be there, no matter what, not everything is unconditional—well, nothing in life is unconditional, not at all. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, thanks to this spirit she manages to integrate herself even more into the community, somehow making use of our practices, based on an integration with the other, a fair establishment consisting of confronting the other, under the freedom to defend oneself. However, with others, this doesn't prove significant; instead, they become submissive out of fear of conflict, and in itself, this is leading her to become dominant in the office, of course, except with me, since she knows I can see her attempts at confrontation. Of course, it all started with me confronting her, opening myself up to appearances and falling into that consistency resulting from not accepting the denial of those appearances. She operates with others, starting from the denial of herself, as a gesture that, otherwise, if they step outside of her comfort zone, they will find themselves facing a warrior prepared to face rejection; her denial consists of the fact that such rejection does not exist, in principle, because others act in accordance with her, when it does exist, and precisely because she denies that depth that I faced.