Workplace Drama

I have a financial goal but no career goal to match. I'm interviewing for a job that could get me past my financial goal, but I don't care about it. I'm worried it'll be demanding but I'm a "clock out at 5 sharp" kind of person.

Pros that matter to me: 25k raise

Other pros: building a team/process from scratch so good for resume and snagging a senior position later. In the career direction that I "want".

Cons: I'll have to sacrifice my current job that's very chill where I do almost nothing, 1-2hr drive depending on traffic (only 2x per week), they may expect over 40hrs a week from me

I've always been motivated in the past. I always cared about my grades in school and what colleges i applied to and what clubs I did. Even early career I cared about moving up and had "dream jobs". But as time has gone on I've realized I don't like working. I've seen more of the reality of the situation and become my jaded and just don't care. Like my old dream job, art director, would require adhering to corporate whims, people and project management, limiting my creativity, and 10 years before that of getting paid dust in graphic design. I'm not interested. I see now that all jobs are jobs so I'm not ever going to truly CARE for any of them.

I wish I did still want more. But the motivation is gone. I'm running away from dissatisfaction instead of towards something. I'm frustrated with my current pay and know I'd feel better making more. I want to feel like I've achieved more, be able to save more, keep up with rising costs, and be able to have an apartment. I understand theoretically that I'm gonna keep wanting more as prices rise, so i have to keep trying in my career.

At my current job I'm very comfortable doing nothing all day and am kind of waiting on my boss to notice and get mad at me. I am hoping a new job with new tasks will at least give me enough motivation to not get fired but idk. I don't care. And it makes these interviews feel weird because i feel like I shouldnt feel this way. The recruiter said i need to be excited. I can fake it for an interview, but I'm not excited at all.

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I've read this is normal to some degree. A lot of people arent passionate about their jobs. So, what is that like? How did you build a career and get promotions and move up all while not giving one single damn? Am I willing to try at something I have no personal stake in? I'm not sure; never been in such a position. I could keep applying to try to find an easier, remote job that'll meet my income goal, but we all see this job market. I'm worried nothing better will come along. In months of applying I've only interviewed one other place and they paused hiring.

What would you do?

so here's the deal. i work in an office where it seems like nobody really wants to hang out with me. it's kind of weird, you know? like, when lunch rolls around, everyone scatters into their little groups but somehow, i'm not included in any of them 🤔. they talk to me during work, sure, when they really have to. but outside of the necessary stuff, it’s radio silence. i get it, maybe i’m different or i just don’t click with their vibe. but hey, does it always have to be this way? wouldn't it be nice if people tried to include everyone once in a while?

it's not like i’m unfriendly or anything. i mean, i smile, greet people in the hallway, and even say "good morning" hoping for a return. it's not like i've got a boomerang attitude or something that'll come back to bite them; but still, nada. it's like i’m invisible in the social scene here. sometimes, i wonder if there's something i could change or whether they even notice. do you ever think that maybe if we sat down for a meal, they’d discover we’ve got common interests? or is that wishful thinking on my end?

i think of all those quotes like, "if you want to make friends, be a friend," and try to apply it. i’ve initiated small talks and water cooler chats, but they seem just... obligatory. like, when monday rolls around and we do a quick weekend debrief, it's always just the essentials. nothing more. feels odd, right? maybe i'm not putting enough out there, or they’re just set in their routines. either way, i don’t hold it against them. everyone’s got their own thing going on. who knows? maybe in time things will change.

so here i am, trying to understand this whole situation while keeping it chill. it might not be an episode out of "The Office," but the hope is real. perhaps one day, i'll understand that a lot of people feel isolated in certain environments at times. and maybe, just maybe, i'll grab a lunch mate. i’m not gonna let this get me down. what’s that old saying? “good things come to those who wait?” so, i wait. we’ll see what happens.

I'm 23, I'm a guy, and I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life. The stupid part is that I don't even have a dramatic excuse. I got a girlfriend who is good to me, a family that isn't messed up, friends who actually answer my messages, a roof over my head, food, all that basic stuff people say should make you happy. And yeah, I know I'm lucky. I know some people would tell me to shut up and stop whining because I have more than enough. They're probably right, too. But knowing that doesn't magically fix the feeling that I'm stuck like some useless dude watching life go on without him. I studied IT because everyone said it was the smart move. Computers, coding, support, networks, whatever. Stable future, good money, easy to find jobs, bla bla bla. Except now I can't find a damn junior position in my area. Every "junior" job wants two years experience, five tools, three frameworks, a car, a personality, and probably a blood sacrifice too??? How the hell am I supposed to get experience if nobody lets me start???

I send applications, I tweak my CV, I write those fake polite cover letters where you pretend you're passionate about helping some random company make more money. Nothing. Or I get some automatic rejection that says they found a candidate "more aligned with the role", which basically means "not you, mate". I try to stay objective about it, because maybe my CV is average, maybe my portfolio sucks, maybe the market is just packed, maybe I didn't study the right exact thing. Fine. I can accept that. But then what??? Am I supposed to just keep applying forever and wait until some HR person blesses me with a low paid helpdesk job like it's a gift from god??? I don't want to become one of those bitter guys who sits around blaming everything on the world, but it's hard not to feel like the whole thing is kinda rigged. People tell you to study, so you study. Then they tell you to get experience, but nobody gives you the first chance. Then they say network, improve yourself, learn more, keep grinding. Bro, at what point do we admit this advice is just copy paste bullshit???

Lately I've been thinking about learning a manual job, like plumber or electrician. Not because I always dreamed about pipes or wires, let's be honest, but because it seems real. People need toilets fixed. People need electricity. A blocked sink doesn't care about LinkedIn. That sounds better than sitting at a desk begging for an interview that will go nowhere. But then I think, okay, what if everyone my age has the same idea??? What if all the IT guys, office guys, and lost guys like me jump into trades because "manual jobs are the future" and then that market gets flooded too??? Then what??? We all spend years retraining just to be told there are too many apprentice electricians now??? Sounds dumb, but it's not impossible. Everyone runs to the same thing once they hear it's stable. I don't want to make another "smart choice" that turns into a dead end. So yeah, I have a girlfriend, family, friends, and I still feel like I'm floating around uselessly. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'm not saying my life is over, I'm just tired of pretending I have a plan. I don't. I'm 23 and already feel late, which is probably stupid, but it feels real. What would you do in my place??? Keep chasing IT and maybe waste more time??? Switch to a trade and risk starting from zero??? Or just accept that nobody really knows shit and we all act confident because being honest sounds pathetic???

ever catch yourself giving someone the stink eye at work and think, "ugh, why am I such a judgy jerk?" well, that's me, like, all the time, seriously. it's like, every day, I roll into work, and instead of focusing on my sh*t, I'm busy mentally dissecting everyone else's choices like I'm some kind of self-appointed expert on life decisions; 🙄 like, who made me the boss of everyone, right?

i mean, don't get me wrong, I don't actually hate my coworkers. they're alright, mostly just doing their jobs and trying to get through the day like everyone else. but for some reason, I'm always finding myself internally tearing them to shreds over the dumbest stuff. this one guy, john, he's always eating tuna salad sandwiches that smell like they were fished out of a sewer; drives me nuts. but do I really need to mentally critique his lunch habits every damn day? no, I don't, but here I am, internally screaming about the smell, as if my opinions really matter.

i know it's toxic, and I'm pretty sure it reflects more on me than on anyone else. it's just so freaking hard not to sit there and mentally tally up everyone else's perceived sh*tness. maybe it's because I'm dissatisfied with my current role or even with where I am in life? like, am I projecting my insecurities onto these people or what? 🤔 it's honestly tiring, always being in crit mode and feeling like nothing and no one around me is up to par. can't help but think back to when my old boss would say, "if you're pointing fingers, remember there are three fingers pointing back at you, kid." classic, huh?

all these late-night thoughts about my internal monologue being one endless critique session got me googling "how to stop being a judgy b*tch?" 😂 and okay, sure, there’s all this motivational stuff about self-awareness and mindfulness. but let's face it, who’s got time for meditating when all you want is a damn coffee break? there's this one article I read that said to switch focus and appreciate what's good about people instead of nit-picking their flaws. sure, sounds legit. but when you've been marinating in judgmental soup for years, turning that ship around feels like trying to convince a cat to take a bath.

so, here I am, asking y'all; does anyone else struggle with this judgy mindset? do you get lost in headspace that's all about what others are doing wrong while totally ignoring your own mess? it's almost like I need some sort of mental reboot. I think it would help if I could see everyone as multidimensional humans instead of one-dimensional punchlines for my inner critic's cheap jokes. any tips, tricks, or straight-up reality checks? maybe I need a mantra or some sh*t. anything that’d make the workplace feel less like a silent version of b*tchy reality show confessions. honestly, any advice or your own frustrating stories might help. can't be the only one facing this daily mental drain. looking forward to hearing from fellow judgers in recovery.

Honestly i wanna end it like honestly i feel like no one cares and even if they did i know id just be memory after a long time so it doesn’t even matter im going insane like idk dude i hear voices and audible and sometimes visual shit fucking terrifies me like dude and my low self worth thats in the negatives i hate my self i feel like im the cause of my fathers death and he died in front of me i seen him die when i was twelve and i was a failure as a child a disappointment i dont even see myself as human im just spare parts with a price tag lien the only thing worth is my organs eyes and whatever else like thats how worthless i am and no one ever chooses me and well im at the edge and idk anymore ima be honest ima keep botteling this up like samething with friends im not someone s best friend i just exist god sometimes i cant wait till i die and if i kill myself im gonna do it with life insurance so i could finally be able to do something for once in my life god

After a couple of months of dealing with unemployement I’ve found out a job. But it’s not truly what I’m looking for so my plan is to keep it until the end of the month and then look for something else. The only good thing is that I don’t hold any kind of debt.

I think that I wanna work like a freelance on my area under my own rules. But I’m not the kind of person to record a stupid TikTok or even create a site on ig or similar sites, lately I’ve been about my digital footprint too.

On the otherhand I really like to stick on a routine but when unemployement hits sometimes it’s hard to keep the track of it too. But I’m trying to do some kind of exercise, maybe run at least.

The funny thing is that from time to time I got some kind of migraine which is unbearable.

But life is full of hope and I believe in happier times again.

so, I've got this big presentation at work coming up, and man, the nerves are real. it's not exactly my forte, and honestly, public speaking just makes my palms sweat. anyone else feel like this? anyway, I figured I'd share some thoughts on how to maybe dial down that anxiety a bit. it’s been said, "practice makes perfect," and I guess there's no harm in practicing more than just once or twice.

let’s talk about preparation first. have you ever walked into a meeting and just winged it? yeah, me too. doesn't always end well. so this time, I've tried digging deep into the material. our industry’s got all sorts of jargon (synergy, KPI, fiscal projections.....) but really understanding the content can help. break it down into bite-sized chunks. for example, one might say, "start with a strong opening," then move into key points with clear examples and finish with something memorable.

another thing, and this might sound cliché, is rehearsing. have you tried talking to a mirror? it sounds awkward, but it can be quite effective. you get to see your expressions and body language. or, maybe pull a friend into it. they could provide feedback from an audience perspective. watch out for the filler words, you know? like, uh, um. we've all been there, right? treating your coworkers like they're keen supporters might change the game.

also, what about pacing and breathing? I’ve read somewhere, "take a deep breath," and it indeed helps. standing in front of an audience might feel like being in a hamster wheel, heart racing. ever tried pacing your speech? slower, measured words help not only calm the nerves but also make sure the message lands well. remember, it's not just the words but how they’re delivered. have you ever thought about how speaking can be an art form?

finally, the mindset shift is crucial. what's the worst that could happen? they might have questions you don’t know the answer to. and that’s okay, it happens. the key is to handle it with grace. maybe say, "that's an intriguing question; I'll have to get back to you on that." no harm in learning as you go. view the presentation as an opportunity, not a hurdle. it can indeed be a way to boost up that sometimes shaky confidence.

so yeah, that's the scoop. any other tips or tricks you've found helpful? I'd love to hear them. we’re all in this together, right? just gotta remember that at the end of the day, it's about sharing information and learning. isn’t that what makes this process worthwhile? here's to hoping the presentation goes smoothly.

I’ve been an IT engineer for 15 years. That’s not a flex, it’s just context. I used to be good at this job. Efficient, fast, annoying in the way people hate because you fix things before they finish explaining the problem. I liked digging into logs, writing scripts, cleaning up broken pipelines, arguing with stupid tickets, and feeling like I actually understood the machine. Then AI became the big shiny thing, and now I use Claude Code for almost everything. Even the simplier stuff. Rename a variable? Claude. Write a small bash command? Claude. Check a config? Claude. It feels pathetic, becuase I know I can do these things myself. I’ve done them for years. But now my first reflex is not thinking, it’s pasting.

And yeah, I know AI is useful. I’m not pretending it’s all evil. It saves time, catches dumb mistakes, and sometimes gives me a better approach than the one I had. Fine. Great. Wonderful. But it also sucked the fun out of my work like a cheap vacuum cleaner from hell. I don’t feel clever anymore. I feel like a guy supervising a tool that’s slowly making him lazy and useless. My brain waits now. That’s the ugly part. I used to get a problem and feel that little spark, like “okay, let’s beat this thing.” Now I feel tired before I even start. I ask Claude, skim the answer, run some tests, and move on. At standup I have no idea what to say without sounding like a fraud. “Yesterday I prompted a bot until it did the task” is not exactly inspiring. So I dress it up with corporate garbage ands pretend I had a deep technical journey.

The worst part is I don’t know where this leaves my career. Am I still an engineer, or am I just a guy babysitting autocomplete with a salary? Maybe that’s dramatic, but that’s how it feels. I’ve built systems, fixed outages at 3 a.m., had managers breathing down my neck while production was on fire, and somehow this is the thing making me feel useless. Not the stress. Not the meetings. Not the endless Jira bullshit. This weird quiet loss of motivation. Do you ever feel like convenience is ruining your ability to give a damn? I do. I use Claude Code alot, and I hate how much I like it. I dont want to go back to doing everything manually like some caveman, but I also don’t want to become a hollow button-pusher who can’t solve anything without asking permission from a chatbot. I’m biased because this is my job and my identity, but I’m also trying to be fair: maybe the industry is just changing and I’m being stubborn. Maybe I need to adapt instead of whining. Still, I miss being excited by the work. I miss feeling sharp. Right now I just feel bored, replaceable, and pissed off.

Imagine this scenario and see if you can relate.

You are 45 minutes into the delivery of an incredibly high-stakes presentation, and you are at your home office with the entire leadership team of your organization being at the corporate office location.

You are sharing your screen from your laptop computer, and the flow up to this point has been on point. You have rounded the corner and are about to take it home, and all is looking clear in front of you.

This gives you a boost of confidence, and then you tap the button to move the slide deck forward by one slide. You get started making your statement about what this slide shows and then, without warning, your screen goes black.

The router lights across the room that you are occupying at your home office extinguish, and the stillness and silence engulfs you in a rapid manner.

In that moment, your heart rate spikes from normal to a sprinting pace in the snap of your fingers.

This isn't just bad luck or yet another example of Murphy’s Law being realized. It can be considered an extremely stressful event for some people.

Question: How have you addressed, or would you likely address, this scenario in your own circumstances ?

it's been a whirlwind working in IT for five years, seeing how rapidly technology evolves and adapts. yet here i am, feeling like i'm caught in the echoes of laughter from my colleagues who've taken to using chatgpt and claude code to revolutionize their workflow. it's been two years since these AI developers entered their toolbox, making them exponentially faster and more efficient, or so they claim. i'm not blind to the advantages these innovative tools offer, theoretically enhancing our capacity to expedite code deployment, troubleshoot problems, and streamline project management tasks. still, even with a robust understanding of complex algorithms and network configurations, i find myself lagging, like a floppy disk in a world driven by SSDs. why does this create such a canyon, where teasing bridges the gap between seasoned colleagues and me, still fumbling with what they term my "old school" methods? do they not understand that integrating new technologies can be daunting and feels like stumbling through endless streams of data with little organic feedback?

perhaps it's a misinterpretation of their gestures, but every time they grin or whisper during our scrum meetings or as they flawlessly debug lines of code i am still scrutinizing, there's an unspoken tension of inadequacy. my technical acumen paints me as a dinosaur in their bustling, robotic zoo, feeling the pings of inadequacy often when another line of buggy code gets sarcastically commended for its "originality". but what if this constant critique is merely their playful nudge, an indirect way of propelling me into the AI-driven future? i sit in the crossfire of console log errors and laughter, conceiving a silent partnership with self-improvement. amidst this emotional turbulence, i want to ask: could this experience somehow shape my fundamental understanding of digital transformation or am i simply the digital outcast? is their jesting rooted in concern or amusement, and does it matter?

what i strive for is finding solace in the gradual process of catching up; after all, the shift toward AI-enhanced development is not merely about adopting new tools but embracing a new mindset, isn't it? the thought that there's always a silver lining keeps my spirits animated as i traverse the vast interfaces of technological waves crashing against the shore of what i know and understand. i'm bound to a belief that with patience and structured learning, efficiency isn't an unattainable horizon but rather a calculated journey. perhaps if I harness these new capabilities, what once sparked laughter will ignite respect or even inspire others who also navigate the currents of technological transition. is it so far-fetched to believe that with persistence, even the slowest runner finds their pace, or does humor, in its most deliberate form, remain their chosen method of encouragement? 🤔

i miss the old days...

I am 45, a man who spent more than two decades building a life around one company, and this week I became one of the 30,000 people laid off at Oracle. Even writing that feels unreal. My whole routine was tied to work: morning status checks, backlog grooming, release calls, escalations, quarterly planning, the usual cycle that made every week feel structured, even when it was exhausting. I worked in enterprise systems long enough that I started measuring my own value in uptime, deliverables, and how well I could handle a production incident without showing stress. That is maybe the part that is hardest now. The laptop is gone, the access is gone, the meetings are gone, but my brain is still running like there is an active sev-1 ticket somewhere with my name on it. I wake up early and think I forgot to answer an email. I sit down with coffee and mentally start building a task list, then remember there is no sprint, no roadmap, no manager asking for an update. It was not just a job to me, it was the frame around my whole adult life, and now the frame is missing. I am trying to stay balanced about it, because I understand companies make restructuring decisions based on margin pressure, headcount efficiency, and all the words people use in leadership calls. I am not saying every person there was cruel, because many were not. Some were decent people doing their own version of damage control. Still, when you give your best years to something and it ends in one controlled conversation, it does something ugly to your sense of self, and I do not think people speak plainly enough about that.

What gets me is not only fear about money, though that is obviously there, it is the silence that comes after a life of constant operational noise. My wife asked me yesterday what I wanted to do with the afternoon, and I honestly did not know how to answer. For years the answer was already decided by calendar invites, dependency mapping, cross-functional reviews, performance targets, and one more urgent thing dropping into the queue. I used to complain that work followed me home, but now home feels like work is haunting it. I went to the grocery store and caught myself thinking in project terms, like I was optimizing a workflow. I stood in the cereal aisle doing capacity planning in my head about bills for the next six months. Last night I opened my notebook, not because I had to, but because I wanted to document next steps like I was preparing for an architecture review. How do you stop doing that when work trained your brain for years to see everything as a process, a metric, a risk register? I am asking seriously. Did any of you lose a job that had become your identity and then find a way to come back to yourself, because right now I feel like an employee account that was deprovisioned before the human being attached to it was warned proper. I keep replaying little memories too. The late nights before migrations. The pride after a stable release. The dumb jokes in team chats. Even the annoying people feel important now because they were part of the system I belonged to. Maybe that sounds pathetic, I do not know. I just know I am grieving something bigger than a paycheck, and grief is a strange process when the thing that died was mostly made of routine, pressure, and habit.

I am trying to be fair with myself and fair with reality. At 45, I am not ancient, and I know there are still roles out there where my experience in enterprise software, stakeholder management, incident response, and large-scale platform operations can mean something. I know the market still needs people who can translate technical mess into plain decisions. But confidence is not a switch, and I cannot toggle it on because logic says I should. Today I updated my resume and for one full hour I just stared at the section listing accomplishments, wondering if any of it matters outside the building I attached it to. I wrote things like service reliability, migration support, customer impact reduction, and delivery execution, and it all read so clean on the page, while I felt completely messy in real life. Maybe that is what I hate most, the disconnect. Professionally, I can make a coherent narrative. Personally, I feel scrambled and honestly a bit ashamed, even though I know layoffs are not a moral failure. I walked around the block this evening and tried to think about anything else, the weather, dinner, the neighbor fixing his fence, but my mind went back to org charts and what I should have done different, even if maybe nothing would have changed. So I am here asking a simple question that does not feel simple at all: how do you stop thinking about work when work was the main thing that organized your mind, your days, your pride, and your future? Do you replace the structure first, or do you wait for the thoughts to slow down on their own. I do not need perfect advice. I think I just need to hear from someone who understands that when a career ends suddenly, the body leaves the office before the mind does.

I'm 32, I'm a man, and I work in IT, and people really dont understand how stressful this shit is unless they're in it. Everybody thinks tech is easy money, comfy chair, dark room, a few emails, then log off. That's the fantasy. The reality is waking up tense because overnight some idiot posted another "AI will replace engineers by next year" take, then opening Slack to three fires, two passive-aggressive messages, and a manager saying we need to "do more with less" like that isn't just corporate code for squeeze us until somebody breaks. Every week there's another layoff headline, and I'm supposed to act grateful I still have a job. Grateful for what? Being tracked, compared, and quietly threatened by automation while executives talk in smug little slogans like "adapt or die" and "AI is just a tool." Easy to say when it's not your neck on the block. I build things, fix things, stop disasters before anybody notices, and the second nothing explodes people assume I did nothing. That's IT. If everything works, nobody sees you. If one thing breaks, suddenly everybody's a pissed off expert asking what you even do all day. You're expected to answer fast, learn new tools faster, sit in pointless meetings, patch ancient junk nobody wants to fund, and then smile when leadership dumps some half-baked AI project on your desk and says "figure it out." Half the people are gone, the rest of us are just pretending the floor isn't cracking under our feet 😑

A few months ago I was at my desk at 11:40 p.m. trying to fix a production issue after a full day of meetings, and my wife walked by and said, dead serious, "must be nice to just sit in front of a screen and wait for the end of the day." That one pissed me off in a way I can't even explain right. I wasn't waiting for shit. I was trying to stop a customer mess from turning into a full outage while replying to my boss, who wanted updates every fifteen minutes like I was some machine. I had cold coffee, a headache drilling behind my eye, and that tight feeling in my chest because all I could think was, if I screw this up, am I next? That's where my brain goes now. Not "how do I solve this nicely," just "if they cut me, how the hell do I pay the mortgage?" Because unlike the idiots on LinkedIn posting fake inspiration about "embracing change," I have an actual life attached to this paycheck. Mortgage. Bills. Groceries. Insurance. Repairs. Normal boring adult stuff that doesn't care about buzzwords. I don't get to romanticize instability. And what's really fun is when people act like working in IT means I should be thankful no matter how bad it gets. "At least you're not doing manual labor." Yeah, cool, thanks, because apparently mental exhaustion doesn't count unless you're bleeding on concrete. Try spending years in a field where the ground keeps moving, expectations keep multiplying, and every smug article hints you're old news by 35. You think hearing "AI can already code" ten thousand times doesn't get in your head? People who never touched a real production system talk like the job is just typing and googling. They have no clue what it's like to carry risk in your head every single day;

And before some smartass says, "well, just switch careers," yeah, sure, because that's easy when you're already exhausted, when the market is flooded, and when every job post wants one person to be developer, architect, support, security, cloud, analyst, and project manager for one mid paycheck. I read those listings and honestly want to laugh, except it's not funny, it's insulting. They want six jobs in one body and still want to lowball you because now there's this threat hanging over the whole field: perform harder, justify your existence every quarter, or get replaced by someone cheaper or some half-working AI stack plus one poor bastard left to babysit it. And people outside it still say dumb crap like, "but you work from home, how stressful can it be?" Are you kidding me? Stress doesn't vanish because the walls are yours. It follows you into the kitchen, into bed, into weekends, into the five minutes you're supposed to be relaxing before another notification hits. I used to actually like solving problems. I used to feel proud when I shipped something good or untangled a nasty issue nobody else could crack. Now it mostly feels like survival. Keep the checks coming, keep your head down, don't piss off the wrong manager, don't fall behind on the newest thing, don't become "redundant." That's the word they love, right? Not scared people with families, just "redundant." So yeah, I get angry when people trivialize this job, especially my own wife, because sitting in front of a screen is not the same as carrying a constant fear that one bad quarter, one reorg, one shiny AI demo, and your whole life gets shoved toward a cliff. Tell me, honestly, would you sleep well with that hanging over you all the time? Because I don't. I sleep like crap, I wake up angry, and I'm real tired of pretending this is normal.

It all started a year ago when I made what I thought was the best decision of my life. At 31, I believed it was time to leave my stable job in IT behind and dive into the world of entrepreneurship. With big dreams and a heart full of optimism, I launched my very own startup, a SaaS platform I was sure would revolutionize the industry. Like, genuinely, who knew the wave of AI would come crashing down like this?? I figured I had everything planned perfectly. But, man, was I wrong...

The competition was like nothing I could have ever imagined!!! Random people, just like me, were popping up everywhere, launching their own startups left and right. It was as if every corner I turned, there was a new challenger, a new innovation, leaving me perpetually chasing my own tail. The market felt saturated, and I started to doubt whether I even stood a chance in this vast ocean of tech geniuses. Every day felt like a losing battle and my once-thriving enthusiasm quickly turned into a somber reality.

To add insult to injury, finding my footing back into the job market has been nothing short of a nightmare. Who would have thought that stepping out for a bit would make re-entry so darn difficult??? I compiled my resume, updated my LinkedIn, and started the arduous process of networking, only to find out most employers were more interested in AI-savvy candidates or fresh graduates with the latest knowledge. Can you blame them, though? I mean, keeping up with technology nowadays feels like chasing a bullet train. Nonetheless, my confidence has taken a serious hit...

It's not that I regret my decision to pursue my own path, but, wow, it's been one heck of a ride that's left me questioning my choices. Why didn't anyone tell me that sometimes chasing your dreams smashes you right smack into a brick wall?? I asked myself if maybe I'd been too hopeful, too naïve, to think that an idea alone would secure success. I wonder how many others out there have been in my shoes, finding themselves between a rock and a hard place, trying to crawl out. It's tough, and I definitely did not anticipate this level of difficulty.

Looking back, one might call it a "learning experience," but I'm just trying to pick up the pieces now. At least, the lessons I've learned along the way could fill a book! But hey, life isn't about regrets, it's about moving forward, right? Though my venture didn't pan out as I had hoped, maybe another door will open... eventually. In the meantime, I'll keep pushing through, exploring new avenues, and retaining the hope that tomorrow might bring better opportunities! 😉 Am I alone in this, or are there others who feel this struggle, too??

yo, listen up, i'm just about fed up with this bullshit, man. i'm 25, right? good ol' quarter of a century and here i am, still living in my mom's basement. can't even get a damn job. fuck ai, bro. they keep saying how ai is the future and it's making our lives easier, blah, blah, blah. you know what? that's just a load of crap. i graduated, and all these companies are out here drooling over ai, replacing human workers like we're nothing. it's like, why even bother going to college, ya know? i'm racking up student loans, but for what? to be tossed aside by some piece of code? screw that.

i mean, let's be real here, ai is everywhere now. it's in our phones, in our homes, hell, it's even driving cars now! and while all these tech geeks are creaming their pants over it, folks like me can't catch a break. i apply for jobs left and right, scrolling through endless listings, and all i see is "experience with ai required," or "ai proficiency preferred." i ain't no tech wizard! i'm just a regular dude trying to get by. but no, all these companies want to invest in some shiny new robot that they don't even have to pay or give health benefits. yeah, real smart, isn't it? replacing real people with soulless, emotionless machines.

and don't even get me started on those automated recruitment processes. you think going through stacks of resumes would be a thing of the past. but nah, now i gotta deal with ai screening my application before it even hits a human's desk. yeah, that's right, good ol' mr. ai has decided i don't fit the criteria for half the jobs i apply for. excuse me, but how does a program with zero understanding of values, culture, or passion get to decide if i'm worthy of a job? i ain't saying i'm some kind of genius or anything, but damn, at least give a guy a fair shot. these algorithms they use are as biased as can be, and yet no one's calling them out. everyone's just nodding along like it's the new gospel or something.

what happened to the days when you could walk into an office, shake a hand, have a conversation, and get hired because they like you, they see potential in you? nah, now it's all about ticking the right boxes and having the right buzzwords on your resume. i get it, times are changing, gotta adapt and all that jazz, but it's no fun when you're left scrambling to keep up with this never-ending rat race. maybe i'll go back to school and get that "desired" ai proficiency or start networking with the right peeps, but damn, it feels like a losing battle sometimes. so, i ask you, reader, in this age of ai, where does a guy like me fit in?

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk AI, fuuuuuck!!!!!!!

I’m 23M and I finished my IT studies last year thinking I was at least stepping onto a road, even if it wasnt a perfect one. I actually did get one decent thing right after, a paid internship for 2 months, doing small dev tasks, fixing bugs, cleaning messy code, sitting in standups acting like I knew what “velocity” really meant. It was not glamorous but it felt real, like finally I was inside the system instead of just training for it. Then it ended, they said nice things, “you did well,” “we’ll keep your CV,” the usual polite exit lines, and after that it was just silence. Since then I’ve been applying everywhere for junior developer jobs, trainee jobs, “entry level” jobs that somehow still ask for 2 years of experience in three frameworks and cloud certs like they’re handing out pilot licenses. I’m not saying companies are evil for wanting good candidates, because I kind of get it, nobody wants to spend money training someone who might leave, and the market seems bad for everybody right now, not just me. But at the same time it’s hard not to take it personal when rejection emails stack up or, more common, when there is no reply at all. “We have decided to move forward with other candidates” starts to sound like background noise after a while. And the weird part is I can still explain the logic of it, I can still be rational, but that doesn’t stop the mood from sinking. Unemployment depression sounds dramatic when you say it out loud, maybe even too online, but what else do you call it when every day looks the same and your confidence gets slowly sanded down by job boards, fake motivation, and waiting?

What makes it worse for me, honestly, is AI. I know some people love it, some people say “adapt or die,” some say it’s just another tool like Google or Stack Overflow, and maybe for some jobs that’s true. I’m not trying to do the old man yelling at clouds thing at 23 😅. But I hate how it entered the conversation right when I was trying to begin. It already felt hard enough to get taken seriously as a junior dev, and now every article, podcast clip, LinkedIn post, and random recruiter comment sounds like, “junior coding will change,” “companies need fewer entry-level devs,” “AI can boost one senior into doing the work of three people.” Maybe some of that is hype, maybe alot of it is marketing, maybe companies are just using it as the newest excuse to freeze hiring, I honestly don’t know. I’m trying to stay fair about it. I know AI can help with boring tasks, documentation, debugging, whatever. I even used some of it during school and during the internship because not using it at all would be kind of fake. But I still resent it, because I spent years hearing that tech was safe, practical, future-proof, and now the same people are acting like the ladder got pulled up just when my turn came. It feels like someone changed the rules after the exam. And before anyone says “build projects,” yes, I did that, small web apps, GitHub commits, portfolio, CV rewrites, leetcode a bit, networking a bit, messages to old classmates, all of it. None of it turned into actual work. After months of this, even personal projects start to feel fake, like I’m making pretend products for no users just so I can maybe impress someone who will never answer the application anyway;

The hardest part is probably how ordinary it all looks from the outside. I live at home right now, I wake up, search listings, send applications, tweak cover letters, maybe study, maybe stare at the screen pretending I’m still “being productive,” then the day ends and technically nothing exploded. No big tragedy, no dramatic downfall, just a slow, dull shrinking. Friends from school are mixed too, some found jobs, some didn’t, some moved into support or data stuff or just gave up and took whatever paid rent. I don’t judge them, and I try not to judge myself either, because the economy is messy and the tech market is clearly not what we were promised. Still, there’s this embarassing feeling when someone asks, “So what are you doing now?” and the true answer is basically waiting. Waiting while trying to look active. Waiting while telling yourself you’re not lazy, not broken, not useless, just stuck. I don’t think unemployment automatically equals depression for every person, and I don’t want to throw that word around carelessly, but when your plans stop moving, your brain can stop moving too. You start thinking in smaller and smaller circles. You compare yourself to strangers. You read posts where people say “just keep grinding” or “the market will recover” like those phrases are food. Maybe they mean well. Maybe they’re right. But being told to stay positive when nothing changes can start to feel insulting, even if the advice isn’t wrong. So I’m asking, especially to anyone reading this who has been through something similar, how do you keep your head normal when your career hasn’t even started and already feels over? I’m still applying, still trying, still being realistic, but I’d be lying if I said this hasn’t changed how I see myself.