Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 21

Everytime I feel as if Im the smallest, most useless presence on earth and I want to give up, somehow my brain injects just enough positive thoughts to keep me from stopping dead in my tracks and continue going, but not enough to fix my fucked up self image. Not enough to fix my skewed perceptions. Not enough to make it stop feeling like I'm in a car stopped dead in the middle of a busy highway. No. I feel every bit as shitty, every bit as damaged, every bit as certain of my failure as a living being. I'm just hit with the temporary high of loose nameless positivity that keeps me functioning.

Its as if Im being tortured. I know I'll plumit again, so why do I keep bringing myself back?

My relatives just left after what felt like a whole year. Before going, my aunt, uncle, and parents all tried to brainwash me into getting married. My parents cried and emotionally blackmailed me saying it’s either marriage or their death, and I have two days to decide. They forced me to give my number to relatives so they can send me marriage prospects on WhatsApp. They kept saying I live a boring life alone and if I marry, he will take care of me and my parents. He'll be my friend, driver, security, and once I have kids I’ll be happy and busy and talked all that regressive ass shit. But I decided at 15 that I will never have kids. The more I see how men are, the more I know I don’t want to marry.

I was just looking to start therapy and trying to heal, and now I feel scared again. I know I can never be happy as a wife or a daughter-in-law, and I do not want kids. I don’t know what to do. My parents’ marriage was toxic and abusive. My mom still suffers from injuries my dad gave her when I was 5. He used to pull knives on her, hit her with his helmet, break things in the kitchen over salt in the food, drag her by her hair. He once slammed a door on her chest. There’s been daily verbal and emotional abuse for years. She still stayed and now wants me to get married. I once got out of this toxic home and didn’t want to come back, but after a sexual assault incident I had to return. Now I’m scared to leave because of that incident and scared to stay because of the toxic home. This has hit my self esteem and i keep getting fired from jobs because of not being able to perform. I feel trapped.

I confronted them after the relatives left but my mom didn’t let me speak. She threatened to hit her head and had a phone in her hand. I shut up immediately because I used to do that to myself and it shocked me to see her act like that. I locked myself in my room after.

I feel like things would be different if I wasn’t this scared to go out and if I had a job and was financially independent. Maybe then they would see that I can take care of myself and them. Right now they probably think I can’t, and my relatives kept saying that if I marry, the guy will do all that. They are brainwashing me with regressive ideas. I’m not the “son” of the house so they want a son in law and I feel like it’s my fault for not being able to make them feel like i am a responsible daughter.

I feel guilty that I’m hurting my parents by not doing what they want. But if I give in, I know I’ll suffer. And if I leave, I’ll feel guilty for leaving my old, sick parents alone. I feel like there’s no solution.

**TL;DR**: My family is emotionally blackmailing me into marriage. I don’t want marriage or kids, but I feel trapped between guilt, fear, and pressure. I’m scared to leave because of past trauma and scared to stay because the environment is toxic. It feels like there’s no way out.

This is my first time doing something like this and probably the only time I only ever talk to myself when I feel down I'm in high school and I've always been the "lone wolf" that one quiet and calm kid you might see sketching or climbing a tree I don't talk much and people know me I know people but I'm not really friends with anybody I've only got one friend will call here 'Po' and lately things just feel different and off I'm not as happy as I used to be seeing them and it's probably just me so I event brought it up I'm so fed up with everything I can't vent to anyone and Po is my only friend and she's got more than enough of her own problems on her plate plus a lot from other people we're both 'therapist friends' if you will I often find myself fixing other people's lives only for them to completely ditch me months or weeks later feels like rescuing an injured animal as soon as their healed up they leave you Po vents to me about how draining it is to be around people who are depressed and down not in a mean way I get it it is draining and she's referring to her girlfriend who is also going through some stuff Po get seasonal depression and it's mid winter where I am I don't have any other friends or even people to talk to I've got a little sister who's much younger then me so why would I vent to her and honestly I wouldn't trust her either my parents aren't a option and I don't know where else to vent I'm the one who fixes everything what happens when I'm not doing great? witch I haven't been for awhile I just wish I could disappear everything is so stressful and the only thing keeping me going is drawing I'm sick of everything else my friendship with Po feels just feels empty she's moving in a few months and if you asked me last year in January I would have said there's no way we would grow apart and our friendship would totally be fine but now I'm not so sure and I can't lose her but it doesn't feel right anymore and anytime I think of venting to her she ends up telling me about how someone just vented to her and how she's glad that I feel like a breath of fresh air I'm not sure what to do my body image issues have been getting worse I find myself using the alphabet trick to stop me from crying at least several times a day and I'm not sure what to do I feel dead inside and I quit soccer which I've been doing for seven years I'm going to quit a sewing classes I've been in for four years and I'm so incredibly guilty for feeling like this when everyone else is doing bad too I just want it to go away I can't do this anymore I don't want to be the loner who's fine with never hanging out or sitting by myself and enjoying my own company 24/7 I don't trust people because I had bad trust issues before especially with older people when I was younger it took me 4 years to trust this lady and two days after I did and let my guard down it blow up right in my face and I haven't seen them in three years and honestly I don't want to I still can't believe that it felt like I got kicked when I was already down and I don't think I'm ever going to recover from that since I told myself it would be fine and having trust issues isn't healthy so I decided to trust someone and then it backfired spectacularly I don't feel like eating or doing anything I just want it to stop I hate this so much and I wish I could just be normal I'm stressed about everything I feel like I'm going mental and I'm so dissociated from life it's not even funny I'm probably gonna regret ever writing and ranting about this even though it's just on the internet where nobody knows who I am thank you for lending me an ear there is a high chance of spelling mistakes in this since I'm writing this down so quickly but genuinely thank you I'm not looking for sympathy I just really need to get this off my chest to anyone will to read

(I didn’t know what to put for the category sorry)

I’m 14 years old (female). I don’t feel safe in public, and I haven’t since I was 11 because of men. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing or were I am, men just stare. When I was 12, I went to camp with my mom and a man came over and asked how old I was. I told him I was 12 and he just came over to sit at the campfire with me, my mom, and my moms friend who’s camper was right next to ours. He just sat himself down asking where I was from and what I like to do. He then said “Maybe you and me need to hangout alone sometime”. I was incredibly uncomfortable the entire time, after he said that my mom asked me to “go get smth from the camper” as a way to get me away from him.

My moms husband (My step dad, but I don’t like him so I just call him her husband) would always watch me when I was around 8 because I lived with my mom at that time. My moms shower had a clear curtain that was just kinda blurry, I asked her not to let him in because he would come in and stare at my blurred figure through the curtain. She said she would keep him out but he did it again and he wouldn’t leave till I asked him to because I had to get out of the shower but the only reason he left was because my mom needed him. I stopped taking showers after that. One night I woke up and saw him in my room, I didn’t think much of it but the room was dark so I just laid there with my eyes open to see what he was doing. He took a pair of my underwear out of my drawer and just left. I don’t remember what happened, but I was running from him one day and locked myself in my room, but since my door didn’t have a lock I pushed my dresser against the door. I remember I was crying and I didn’t come out till my mom begged me to move the dresser away from the door. I told my dad how creepy he was and we got a restraining order for a year. Thankfully after that he aged me and I hated him so he didn’t talk to me. I haven’t seen him or my mother in a year and I couldn’t be happier.

Just the other day I went to the gas station a few blocks from my house with my dad and my sister. We walked in and I almost bumped into this guy so I said sorry and turned around to go to my dad who was standing at the ATM machine at the isle right next to me. The man followed behind me very quickly and I quickly went to stand next to my dad. The man stood behind my dad and looked at me then looked around before walking away. I wasn’t gonna say anything to my dad about it but my dad saw it and told me to stay close to him because he didn’t like how he followed and how he was looking at me.

Every time I go out now I feel scared, there’s always some man staring at me for way too long. I’m scared to leave my own house and I can’t go to stores alone out of fear that something will happen to me. I don’t want to have to worry about what I’m wearing, that shouldn’t be an issue. I never wear anything that shows a lot of skin. I just want to feel safe

Hey everyone, it's my first time here (or any of these kinds of app/website for that matter, so sorry if I'm breaking any formatting or rules) and I just want to share my story anonymously with strangers as I don't want to share anything with any of my friend group as I don't want them to think bad of my ex-fiancée.

I'm in my early 30s and my ex-fiancée a couple years younger, and we met about 6 years ago. It was on a night out in the city that a mutual acquaintance introduced us. We instantly clicked and started dating a few weeks after. Since a majority of our values and goals in life aligned with one another's back then, we were so happy and though we finally found each other's "the one".

Of course a relationship isn't all ups, occasionally we would have a fight regarding what is expected of the other party since we are both working professionals and felt like we were not prioritizing our partnership enough. They are nothing we can't resolve though, we always talked it out coming up with a compromise. Although now it feels like this was a mistake since compromises aren't enough and we are not getting our needs and wants fulfilled with it. Regardless of this, am I wrong in assuming that with these setbacks, with love we were still supposed to choose each other right?

Over the years we have built plans for the future and have actively been working on them, getting engaged just early this year. We were also just about to purchase a house, but yeah my company suddenly had a round of mass layoffs and I was impacted. It's pretty hard to get a job at this time of the year in tech, with the sparse amount of openings and fierce competition. I felt like this was one of the lowest periods of my life so I sort of withdrew from everything. I even shut off my ex-fiancée as I didn't want to bother her with personal issues that she couldn't do anything about.

I guess this was her tipping point, I didn't see that her wanting to go to places which are expensive for my taste or even go on a full week vacation was her way to bid for connection, get me on my feet, telling me that it's okay to delay our plans for a bit, and fulfill her needs in one goal. I saw it as she just being financially irresponsible and unintentionally setting back our years of hard work, so I always flat out rejected her invites, intending to only use our savings for necessities and not for leisure just so we would still have enough when going to buy properties again.

She cheated on me with someone she met on the vacation she went to alone. I was devastated, it made me realize how much I was lacking. How much I didn't fulfill what she actually wants. I knew this because she was the one who confessed it to me as she cannot handle her guilt/conscience. I immediately forgave her but yeah we both can't see being with each other anymore because of this.

It feels weird that I'm not feeling any anger, just sadness. Just emptiness. We officially broke up, and now I don't know what to do anymore moving forward since I dedicated a large portion of my recent years working towards a future that never will be. I might heal, but I feel that I can never love or trust anyone again. I hate this.

I don't know what it is about rejection that can make a 38-year-old man feel like a teenager all over again, standing awkwardly at a high school dance. After spending over a decade in a long-term relationship, I was thrown back into the dating game, a game that's changed so drastically with apps and swipes and all sorts of nonsense. Now, here I am, navigating through profiles like some washed-up AI in the wrong year. And let me tell you something: it sucks harder than a vacuum cleaner on steroids; constantly being told "no" by someone who doesn't know you from a picture and a couple of sentences.

Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I’m getting rejected left, right, and center. It's as if each time I get a "Sorry, not interested" or "You're not the one," it chips away at my spirit, introducing doubt where there was confidence. It feels like being told you're not even worth the sniff test. Hell, I don't know when dating apps became so brutal. Are people really so quick to dismiss a possibility just because of a minor discrepancy in their perceived compatibility score? What's happened to taking a leap of faith or at least stepping outside their comfort zone for a hot minute? It's a digital slap in the face every time I think I'm making progress.

I've started to seriously question the effectiveness of these so-called "matching algorithms." Are they designed to create love or turn us into anti-social hermits with shattered egos? Just last week, I matched with someone whose profile screamed "let's make it happen." We exchanged polite messages, flirted here and there, and just when I thought a physical date was in sight, BAM! Ghosted. It’s like they introduced a new feature: "Just testing your commitment level by vanishing into thin air. Thanks for playing!" Is this part of the user experience? Each rejection is recorded as another tick mark on my personal scoreboard of failures.

Who thought clicking 'unmatched' or not responding became the norm of humane interaction? When did everyone become so shallow that they can't even afford the decency of a basic conversation? I wonder if I've become too cynical, but honestly, it doesn’t feel like a negative nancy outlook when the evidence stacks up. How does one handle such an onslaught of rejection? My instinct tells me to keep trying, just like the way you'd keep buffing out scratches on a prized car. Or do you just stop and hope that one day you won't look like "damaged goods" rolling down the highway of love?

When the cycle seems never-ending, I guess all that's left is to remember to keep going. We can't let these digital road bumps define who we are at 38 – or 58 or 18. Maybe it's about learning to be content with who you are, rather than letting the swipe-right culture dictate your worth. Is it harsh to advocate for a reality check that reminds us of core values instead of superficial swipes? I'm not usually an advice guy, but if rejection is weighing you down, maybe it's your signal to take a short break, realign yourself, take a deep breath, and come back rejuvenated. So, how do you handle rejection? Maybe we just keep figuring it out.

I’ve always known I liked girls, (I’m a female), but I don’t think I’ve ever been IN LOVE with a girl. That was until I met my best friend. There’s something about her that captivates me in a way I can’t explain, and I can tell it’s not just in a platonic light. Sometimes I get the urge to just touch her, kiss her, be as close to her as possible. I’m typically not a clingy or even remotely touchy friend. I’m only like that in relationships. Speaking of, I have a boyfriend…and she has a girlfriend (sort of)…which makes the entire situation 1000x worse. I feel so guilty because I love my boyfriend and he treats me so good. I’ve been with him for 2 years and it’s the most healthy and fulfilling relationship I’ve ever been in, but I can’t help that I feel this way. I’ve tried to suppress it and it feels like the harder I try the worse it gets. Like I said before, she has a girlfriend that she’s also been with for a while (although they’re currently broken up but likely getting back together because they still talk). There’s this dull ache I feel when she talks about her girlfriend, but I know she loves her dearly and I would never want to ruin that. I would also never want to ruin our friendship because she’s an AMAZING friend. It just haunts me every day. I needed to get it off of my chest because I’m too embarrassed to tell a friend. Also, the more I think about the fact that I do have feelings for her, the more I actually want to and feel this extreme urge to explore my sexuality more, because I’ve never actually been with or done anything with a female, and I’ve always wanted to. What do I do? Someone please give me some sort of advice. Thank you.

Why can't I cry anymore? It's weird, you know? I'm 23, and I remember a time when tears came so easily. Watching a sad movie or hearing someone's heartbreak used to make me tear up like a fountain. But now? Nada. Zero. Zilch. It's like my tear ducts closed up shop and went on permanent vacation. "What's the deal?" I keep asking myself. I mean, letting it all out with a good cry used to feel so liberating. Now, it feels like there's this emotional block keeping everything bottled up. Can anyone else relate to this weird sensation?

It's not like I'm super tough or have had some life-changing epiphany. I'm still the same old me, navigating through the ups and downs of life. So why the emotional drought? 😕 I'm starting to wonder if it's just this weird phase or maybe stress-related. Everyone's always like, "Be tough, be strong," and I guess I've taken it to heart a bit too much. But when I think about it, aren't tears part of what makes us human? Crying shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness; it's a natural response; and I've kind of forgotten that. I remember someone saying that sometimes holding it together means falling apart; I guess maybe there's some truth to that?

It's not like life's a drag or anything, trust me! I still have plenty of good vibes and moments, but without the tears, it's like losing a part of expressing myself. I'm hopeful that this is just a temporary thing. Maybe one day soon, I'll watch a sappy rom-com, and the emotions will flood back, and I'll be ready with a box of tissues, crying my heart out at every plot twist. So, if anyone else has gone through this "tearless" phase, how'd you get your emotional faucet running again? Because seriously, it's about time to let those tears flow again, right?

ever get that feeling like you're the only one walking through school halls invisible to the world????? i'm 17 and it's like i'm in some glitch in the simulation. others are collecting friends like i collect those stupid online game achievements, but me??? nada. it's not that i haven't tried either; i've done the whole "join a club" thing, poured my soul into band practice, and stayed late at those oversold "life-changing" workshops that counselors swear are opportunities. sure, i've got acquaintances, but those hollywood-style, ride-or-die friendships???? ha, guess they're on backorder for me!!! who knew navigating the social web would feel like trying to solve a rubik's cube blindfolded? i sometimes wonder, am i a walking wifi dead zone or living life on airplane mode?????

remember some adults love throwing out advice like "be yourself" or "you've got to put yourself out there"... gee, thanks, hadn't thought of that. it's not like i'm antisocial or a wallflower, though talking to someone feels like booting up an old pc—slow, clunky, but it gets there in the end (most times). at every pep talk, i nod like a bobblehead or a yes man, but when it boils down to it, that six-word mantra becomes white noise. "fake it 'til you make it" seems enticing—pretending i've got it all together in hopes it becomes a reality. *spoiler alert*—still waiting on that shift. maybe i missed the memo on how to fit the mold or ace the secret friendship interview. should i be taking notes?????

but here's the kicker—each day, my classmates flaunt their BFFs with matching necklaces or those idiotic coordinated dance moves. "watch our sick routine!" they say—ugh, puke me to the moon. why can't someone be cool with the more chill type, like wandering the local trails or binging some obscure cult classic??? not that i'm bitter (just checking!!!), but i'm strangely optimistic, like some masochistic sucker believing that karma has a twisted sense of humor. i guess it's true what some say, "good things come to those who wait." maybe the human algorithm just hasn't processed my request yet??? online, i've found comrades-in-keyboards who share the same plight—living charades waiting for our tribe to find us. strangely comforting, yet bittersweet.

so what's the game plan now????? patience sucks, but it's part of life's obnoxious curriculum, isn't it????? pushing forward, reminding yourself "this too shall pass" because high school isn't the endgame. hell, it's only the first level before the real quest truly begins. the awkwardness??? a rite of passage into adulthood's unfathomable chaos. the absence of friends doesn't define the haphazard journey of societal expectations. instead, embracing my quirks might just attract another oddball-looking-for-their-own kindred spirit. anyone else feeling the struggle to "fit in," just like me???? because life is a marathon, not a sprint―and it’s a damn long run without podcasts or a killer playlist. maybe one day i'll have one of those laugh-till-you-cry revelations and thank the universe for its eccentric ways. but till then, i'll keep clicking 'refresh' on life's social page, waiting for that genial notification to ping.

hey there, just wanted to spill my heart a bit, if that's alright. i'm 51, lost my husband and my son in a car crash. life's just feeling empty and pointless right now. ever felt like that? it's like every day is a struggle to get out of bed. they were everything, my love, my life, my rock. i feel like i'm just floating through the days, you know? trying to keep it together, but it's tough, really tough. it's like i'm watching my life from the sidelines and not really living it. i'm trying to hang in there, but sometimes, i just don't want to live anymore. do you ever feel like you're screaming inside and no one's hearing you? it's like a big hole inside my heart and no matter what i do, i can't fill it.

i try to be strong, but i'm honestly just really tired. tired of crying alone, tired of pretending i'm okay. i miss them so much it physically hurts. ever feel that way? folks say it gets better with time, but it's hard to believe right now. can't even honestly remember what happiness feels like. i just keep asking, what's the point of all this? i'm not bitter, just numb. i do try to focus on small things, like a cup of coffee in the morning or a good book, trying to find a spark of joy. anyway, thanks for reading this. i know folks have it tougher, and i'm trying to keep my chin up. just felt like sharing, maybe you can relate or share a kind word...

Hey there! I'm reaching out from this space because I really need to chat, but finding the right person to talk to... Well, it's complicated. I'm 19, and being a female in this rapidly evolving world sometimes feels like navigating through a maze with no clear exit... The desire for genuine conversation is strong, but I'm at a crossroads when it comes to whom I should open up to. Can you relate? I've tried reaching out to friends, family, even strangers on the internet, but something holds me back each time. It's as though there's this invisible barrier that stops me from pouring my heart out fully. Maybe it's the fear of judgment or maybe it's just the uncertainty of how they'll respond. 🤷‍♀️

I've always believed in the power of words, but it's puzzling how, in this digital age, we're more connected than ever, yet finding a genuine, open conversation feels so rare. "Isn't it ironic?" Every time I think about reaching out, I get flooded with what-ifs that make me retreat into my shell. But I'm determined!!! I want to open up and talk; to share my thoughts and feelings with someone who'd truly listen. The positivity lies in hope that someday, I will find that person who makes the interaction worthwhile.❤ In the meantime, the quest continues, and I'll keep searching for that special someone out there who resonates with my words, and somehow, makes sense of this journey; I hold onto the belief that every conversation has the potential to be a stepping stone towards understanding and connection.

How is the vibe here? :)

Hey, guys. So, I've been grappling with a bit of a morally gray area lately, and I could really use some outside perspective. Is it bad to watch porn? I get that it's a touchy subject, and opinions on it vary greatly. Sometimes, I feel like everyone does it, but no one talks about it, almost like it's this secret secluded to the hidden corners of our lives. The alluring consumption of adult content is accessible as ever due to modern technology and the privacy it offers, yet the stigma surrounding it remains quite palpable. It leads one to wonder about its implications, both psychologically and ethically. I mean, sure, on the surface level, indulging in pornography feels like a harmless escapade, almost like ordering takeout instead of cooking. But is it nearly as innocent as it seems?

There's something undeniably magnetic about the immediate gratification it offers, and let's face it, the variety is vast. However, I can't help but feel that there's a darker underlying current. Does it adversely affect our perception of reality? Impacts cognition and behavior? Or maybe even our relationships with others? These questions keep swirling around in my head. The industry sure is a juggernaut, boasting millions of viewers but is it all coming at a hefty price? Does it heighten unrealistic expectations or foster an unhealthy cycle that one struggles to escape from? I know personally, it's hindered my capacity to connect meaningfully with partners at times. And the feeling of guilt lingers, a byproduct of wondering if I'm feeding into something more sinister. Are others feeling this duality of pleasure and guilt too, or is it just me? Ugh, it's complicated, isn't it? 🤔

My biggest mistake was telling my very superstitious parents that I have Sleep paralysis. Now I'm not allowed to sleep alone. For context I'm 19 and share a room with my sister. It's a fairly big room and i don't mind sharing. But now my sister has decided that she will sleep in our parents room because it's closer to charging point. I want to sleep in my room because who would choose to sleep on thin mattress while a perfectly fine bed is right there in next room. I told my parents that I will sleep in my room and they refused. I don't know what kind of monster or evil spirits they think will attack me if I ever slept alone but the only thing i know is that I'm getting back pain from sleeping on floor and i want privacy atleast at night. I don't know what to do

so i’m 28, and i’m sitting here wondering if it’s worth it to get back with my ex. she’s still out there, waiting for me to decide, and i’m stuck in this mess of my own making. i left her a while ago because of the pressure from my parents; they never really liked her. it wasn’t about her as a person—they just couldn’t get past the fact that we have different religious beliefs. it got ugly, and i said things i didn’t mean, things that were fueled by frustration and by the walls closing in around me. and now, i can’t help but think i might’ve thrown away something real.

it’s not like i haven’t tried to move on. i’ve dated a bit, met new people, but no one’s quite clicked the way she did. she’s the one i kept comparing them to, the one who made me feel like i wasn’t alone in the chaos of the world. when we were together, it felt like we were fighting the same fight, you know? like we had each other’s backs no matter what. but then, that fight turned inward, and it wasn’t just about us against the world—it was me against her, me against my family, me against myself. “if you can’t make peace within your own family, how can you expect to find it outside?” that’s what my dad said. it hit hard.

now i’m torn. should i just swallow my pride and reach out to her? i know she still wants to be with me; she’s made that clear in the few awkward texts we’ve exchanged. but part of me wonders if it’s just nostalgia talking. what if we get back together, and the same problems resurface? the arguments, the tension with my parents, the religious differences—they didn’t disappear just because we broke up. they’re still there, waiting like landmines. can love really be enough to overcome all that? or am i just romanticizing what we had because i’m lonely and regretful?

and then there’s her. she deserves better than someone who’s constantly second-guessing his decisions, someone who can’t even stand up to his own parents. if i go back to her, i need to be sure, not just about my feelings but about my readiness to fight for us. i owe her that much. “you can’t build a future on a foundation of doubt,” my brother said once. maybe he’s right. maybe i should let her go and focus on figuring myself out. or maybe, just maybe, we both deserve a second chance. what do you think? am i being a fool, or should i follow my heart this time? 🫤

so my parents keep asking me to leave the house and start my own life, but honestly, i can barely get out of bed in the morning. i’m not lazy or anything, i just feel stuck, like there’s a weight on me that won’t budge. i wake up, look at my phone, and realize there’s nothing waiting for me except a long list of things i don’t want to do. it’s not depression or anything—at least i don’t think so—but it’s like i’m in this weird limbo where i know what i should be doing but i just can’t bring myself to start. i’m 21 and my parents are right, i can’t just keep lying here, but the thought of job applications or interviews just makes me want to roll over and pull the covers back up. it’s not that i don’t care; it’s more that i don’t know how to care anymore, you know? 😕

some mornings, i set my alarm and i’m determined to get up early, maybe make some breakfast, even go for a run or something. but when that alarm goes off, my brain just shuts it out, like “what’s the point?” i tell myself i’ll get up in five minutes, but then it’s noon and i’m still scrolling on my phone. my parents come in, knock on my door, and start their usual speeches about responsibility and adulthood and how i need to contribute to the world. i nod along because they’re not wrong, but i just can’t seem to find the motivation. it’s like my body’s in bed but my mind’s trapped somewhere else, somewhere far away from all this.

i think the hardest part is feeling like i’ve already failed before i’ve even started. i see my friends posting about new jobs, internships, moving out of their parents’ houses, and i’m just here wondering how they even found the energy to get dressed. it’s not jealousy exactly, more like confusion. how do they do it? how do they make it look so easy to just get up and go? i wish someone would explain the secret, because it feels like i missed the memo or skipped the part of life where you learn how to deal with responsibilities. i don’t want to be the guy who never leaves his parents’ house, but i also don’t know how to change that. 😩

so yeah, how do you get out of bed in the morning when everything feels heavy and pointless? is there some trick i’m missing? i know it’s not just me feeling like this, but it feels like everyone else figured it out except me. i want to start living my own life, get my own place, have something to look forward to, but every morning i wake up and it’s like i’ve hit the snooze button on my own future. maybe tomorrow will be different, but maybe it won’t. i don’t know. do you? 🤔