Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 20

I’m 23f and I’ve never had any sexual or romantic experience (no holding hands or talking stage). It just never happened for me. Most of my life I didn’t really care or pay attention to it, but it’s like I “woke up” about two or three years ago and looked around and realised I’m so behind everyone else my age. Since then I’ve been trying and failing to do something about it and it’s been affecting my mental health really badly. I can be pretty socially anxious but I’ve been trying to work on that. I’ve been trying to go out more and meet new people, but every time I’ve approached a guy I’ve been rejected. I know that happens and maybe I’ve just had bad luck, but it really messed with my self-esteem as well. I’m not particularly attractive but I try to work with what I have. All that affected my mental health really badly and turned my inexperience into a massive insecurity, making me embarrassed and feel that it’s “too late” now. I see it as a proof that no one found me desirable before. It’s gotten so bad I’m even avoiding my friends now because I feel like I’m so much worse than them. Now I’m worried that even if I do find someone I could get along with, he’s going to be weirded out and turn me down because of it.

man it's been like 2 months and i still think about her every single day. like not even just once or twice, but all day long, like a song stuck in my head that won’t shut up. we broke up, yeah, and i know she’s gone and probly already movin on but i can't. i keep thinkin about the way she used to laugh at my dumb jokes, or how she’d hold my arm when we walked down the hall at school. i miss the lil things the most, like how she’d say "you're dumb" when i’d say somethin stupid but then smile right after. it’s dumb, i know, but even when i'm playin games or chillin with the boys, she just pops into my head like she still got space in there. nd it sucks man. feels like i'm stuck in this loop of memories and i can’t find the off switch.

i thought maybe after a few weeks i’d be fine, like i’d stop feelin all this crap. but nah, it’s still here. it hits hardest at night, like when i’m just layin in bed lookin at my phone, scrollin old messages like a loser. i kno i should delete them, fr, but i can’t bring myself to do it yet. even her name still pinned in my chat list, even tho we haven’t talked since the day she ended it. i don’t even kno what i did wrong exactly, she just said she "needed space" and that was it. like how do u go from talkin every day to nothin?? i keep thinkin maybe if i said somethin different or was less clingy or more chill, maybe she’d still be here. i’m not sayin i was the perfect bf or nothin, but i really liked her. maybe too much. maybe that’s the problem.

some of my friends say “bro, just move on, there’s other girls” but they don’t get it. it wasn’t just about havin a gf, it was her. she was the first girl i really opened up to, like really told stuff i don’t even tell my fam. and now she’s gone and i feel like a piece of me is gone too. school’s harder, i don’t even care about it anymore. food don’t taste the same. i stopped writin in my notebook, which i used to love doin. even music don’t hit the same now, every love song just makes me feel worse. nd it ain’t like i can talk to anyone for real about this. if i say too much, i get clowned. if i say nothin, i just sit with it alone. i wish she knew how much she still means to me. but i can’t tell her that, cuz i don’t wanna sound desperate. and maybe she don’t care anyway. maybe she’s happy now and i’m just here being stuck.

i dunno what to do. like i wanna move on but i also don’t wanna forget her. she was a big part of my life, even if it was short. nd maybe one day i’ll look back and laugh or feel nothin but right now it hurts like hell. i wish someone would just tell me how to stop thinkin about her. how do u stop missin someone who used to feel like your whole world? i try to distract myself, i try to be cool, but it don’t help. i just hope this feeling goes away eventually. i hope i get to the point where i think of her and it don’t make my chest hurt. cuz right now? it hurts. it really does. and it’s crazy how someone can leave and still be everywhere in your head.

Long story short ish - last month my girlfriend fucked this dude I have disliked for years and I can’t lie I’m really down about it all 🥲

Apart of me saw it coming but it still hit like a hard slap in the face and I can’t stop thinking about it all!

Sort of came to this app to try and talk about things seeing if it would make me feel better 😆 that’s the tea

I have two friends in this story, I'll call them X and A I guess.

yesterday, X seemed to be mad at us and ignoring us (like, getting really ticked off if we even looked at something behind them). We both thought it was just because they were tired and whatnot, because they have openly said it's usually how they act when they are. But it just seemed like they straight up hated us from a lot of the (kind of petty tbh) things they did (block us from the story we were all making, stuff like that) and it kind of scared me.

both me and A are autistic (I'm more hyper aware while A has a lot more trouble with social cues than I) so sometimes we miss it when we do things that hurt our friendships and other kinds of relationships. We have to ask people what we've done wrong in order for us to find it and fix it, but a lot of times people like X take it the wrong way and think that we think we did nothing wrong when in reality we want to take acountability, but just have no clue what we've done and need help finding it. However, with X we can't do so when they're trying to be distant from us because it triggers them to say something sarcastic or even rude (we have talked to X about this before, I'm not sure if they were really listening or not in the moment though)

Yesterday, while they were doing all that I unnintentionally went nonverbal whenever I was alone with them because I was honestly very scared. I have no clue how to comfort or help people, and when X is like this I never know what to say because even asking if they're okay or how their day was just ends in them saying sarcastic things and ignoring me. At some point they began talking to me again, and at some point they mentioned how I talk too much and how it's annoying. In that moment I kind of wanted to just break down because for the past few months I had been going nonverbal and not talking a ton a lot more (due to a lot of people talking about something related to my trauma without really knowing) so it felt really hurtful. And even before then I only said things I thought they found funny or enjoyed.

This morning, I woke up to messages in the groupchat with A and X. A was infodumping about one of his biggest hyperfixations and seemed really exited. Then, X texted "this is why I hang out with (person) more lately, this is all you talk about". And while I understand how it can get boring to hear the same thing constantly, it just didn't really feel right. I guess A didn't pick up on what the message really meant and started joking around and messaging random pictures (both me and him cope with jokes, I'm just not sure if A picked up and started joking around to cope or just overall didn't pick up).

I'm not really sure how to feel. X is my childhood friend and they mean a lot to me. I worry every night that something bad might happen to them (as everyone in my friendgroup is very mentally unwell) and cry myself to sleep thinking of a world without them or any of my other friends. As much as I think I might be overeacting, I'm not at all jealous of the other friend that X wants to hang out with. it's more of I can't stand X being mad at me and not knowing why. I want to be able to fix it but I'm really really scared to ask due to how X has reacted many times in the past (stuff like this has happened a lot, for most it was over really small things like me missplacing something, but I still understand these reactions) and I'm really scared something might happen to them or A. I've almost relapsed because of how stressful it all is after being almost two months clean, and I haven't seen my therapist yet and won't be able to talk to them for another four days.

At this point though, I'm questioning if this friendship is good for either of us. If I'm doing tis type of stuff without knowing and they don't want to tell me/A then I don't think that they should stay friends with the both of us as it may be hurtful for them. I really wish them all the best though, and I wish they would tell me what I've been doing wrong. I could have missed a lot of stuff from that day though because the previous night was really horrible and I hardly got sleep. I really hope that they tell me because I want to talk to them again like we did before. I'm really concerned for them but have no idea how to help them because (A) I'm not a proffessional and could make things worse and (B) anytime I try to they ignore me and get sarcastic. I really want to help them, I just don't know how because they're going through a lot and have a lot of undiagnosed dissorders that affect a lot of their life because they're untreated.

I also have a hard time explaining to A what most of X's comments and such mean. For example, A will be randomly talking about something they like and X will hit them with the "Nobody cares". A will completely belive they're joking (because thats what their relationship has been up until a few months ago I guess) and X gets really annoyed.

Another thing that X does when they're mad at us is misgender us. They'll still be okay with working with us and such, and seemingly be OK with us, but then they do this. I don't think that even they understand, but this really hurts. Both me and A are transgender, and for me personally because of how long I've know X, they were the first person I told. I trusted them a ton with the information and belived that they would be Ok with me being transgender. Over time though, I've regretted telling them. They still have my deadname saved for all of their contacts, and will openly see me as who I used to be while everyone else (even the people I've known since preschool) sees me for who I currently am. X also does the same for A, which is really annoying considering that they were outed and unnaccepted about a month prior. Exept for A, X will outright use his deadname during conversations plus the incorrect pronouns whereas it only took them about a week to get it right for me, and they've known me a lot longer (three years). both me and A are very dysphoric and are very open about it to X.

At this point, i have no clue how to approach or help X anymore because as much as they talk about me and A not caring, when we try to help them and ask how they're doing all we get is comments like "I'm fine, what do you think." and when we try to use a different approach to help we get similar comments. I've been trying to give them room to be themselves, but they keep shutting down thoughts and ideas that aren't their own. they also make fun of us, but whenever we try to match their seemingly 'playful' jokes they ignore us for the rest of the hour.

Both me and A also have a hard time socializing "normaly" which is also what X is more used to. X also became a lot more different when they started spending hours watching shorts, and from what they've sent me in the past they're on the 'offensive memes' side. I know whats over there and I know it's only a matter of time before they become sexist and such (they already are in a way, they'll block girls specifically just because they're 'ugly'). I honestly can't tell the difference between wether something they say is actually offensive or a 'normal' joke.

Also, both me and A are open about things that would be important to the freindship like how bad we are at social cues (specifically A) and triggers and whatnot (so is X).

No clue how I wrote that much, and I'm pretty convinced I'm overreacting. Just needed to get that out I guess, thanks for reading that all if you did (I don't blame you if you didn't thats like eight paragraphs, not even I would read it all tbh).

I have an abusive mom(both emotionally and physically) And whenever I vent about it, everyone gives her a free pass just because she gave birth to me.

I'll use a conversation I had with my friend a bit ago as an example.

So I was venting to my friend a few weeks ago about my mom, and it was going fine. They were trying to be comforting, and reassuring, ect. But then at the end of it they started talking to me about how I should never cut her off. They said in these exact words: "I know she's not the best mother ever, but she gave you life. Every day she makes sure you have food and water, and a roof over your head. So when you get older, you should still take care of her and keep her in your life" And I guess I just got really angry at this.

Yeah she makes sure I have food and water, but isn't that the bare minimum? She is never there for me emotionally, has never said "I'm proud of you", calls me a useless piece of shit, manipulates, hits me for random reasons, and ect. And I don't think that I should completely ignore all of it just because she's my mom. And why should I take care of her when she's older when she never takes care of me now? I know I should probably be grateful that I'm alive because of her, but I really don't feel like I owe her anything. It's not like I wanted to be born or something.

When I get older I really just want to cut her out of my life and not see her again. I'm sorry if that's selfish, but I don't think I can be happy otherwise.

I want a lover. I don't know if it's for validation that I still am lovable, but I've been craving that carefree feeling of when I had one. We weren't official, but the times we spent made me feel like I was worth it for once. Like my breaths aren't a waste of carbon dioxide. I miss being loved.

It's hard for me to say, but I feel I can't recover or continue the relationship with this girl. I have to leave her because there's no room for her in my life. I've already tried every way. She's in her own world, and I'm in mine, and any attempt would feel forced and aimed at destroying us both. I personally doubt this girl is considering these conditions, but I feel I can do it. Leaving her would be an act of respect for her routine, her development, and her desire for a new person, given that I can't have a negative impact on her and therefore be scarred, since she has the right to find her. I can't allow myself to be the one to destroy that dream, so it's fair and necessary that we discuss the fact that I'm not the new person she's looking for, given that, as I insist, I'm not in a position to support her, primarily because of the way her life is structured.

Her life isn't meant for new people, but that doesn't mean I can accommodate her to satisfy that desire. However, it's an extremely delicate task, and one she must oversee. Let's assume that she gives in at this moment, the game will tend to abandon her plans and other things, and that's not the idea. If she's going to do it, it should be gradually, considering each of the details into which her entire life can be divided, in order to create something satisfactory. Otherwise, she will be sowing the ultimate nest of violence, bitterness, and a relationship given to conflict as the defining axis of the story she can trace; an issue that, unfortunately, was the future when I saw myself with her, and which was totally heartbreaking for me. I don't know how there are people who can tend to do the same.

This act, without a doubt, represents an act of respect for her person, of love. I observe her as very vulnerable to suggestion and falling prey to one of those manipulative beings who opt for victimhood and are both skillful and unconscious at procuring people to hold them hostage without any evidence in front of others, despite the person feeling this way and the subject knowing it, but at the same time, due to their unconsciousness, ignoring it at all costs. I feel this is the mistake my father and my stepmother made many years ago, and I don't intend to make it again.

I can't deny that it pains me to leave her, given that she seems to me to be a very beautiful person, very dedicated to this new life, and, in addition, with feelings whose life, in effect, was to prevent others from feeling judged. I observed that her spirit of protecting others was undermining her, which reminds me of another girl who I thought was in those shoes with me but wasn't aware of her infatuation with me. She was a person, from what I'm seeing, with a vague self-esteem and who liked not to disappoint others, always making them feel good. This, it seemed to me, was affecting her studies, which were also outside her area of ​​residence. Indeed, it's tempting for anyone to have such a person slide toward you irremediably, given the intense sense of control we humans possess, but it's interesting when it ceases because it implies that the fear of the world collapsing and obstructing her access to it has been undermined, which expresses a greater openness to it. I feel I'm achieving that in this case.

That girl had a great sense of guilt. I felt that, just because she was a psychiatric patient, she was already sliding toward me, against her own feelings, and I feel that at this moment she was almost heading toward that point. However, when faced with someone who is on the verge of overshadowing her life, if I can do something, then let it be this way. It will undoubtedly cause discomfort, but the aftermath will be a rich radiance for her life. She will feel that there was respect, order, and consistency from people like me, who am a patient of the aforementioned type, and I also protect the identity of all of us who, I feel, are highly prejudiced, unfortunately not without reason, given at the same time by a society that doesn't welcome us, given the difficulties we cause because we don't have the tools to handle them.

In part, and it must be said this way, this has become a duty to my profession. Psychiatric patients don't seek to drag anyone down; we ruin people's lives, and much less are we people without a vision for well-being. Quite the contrary, we can be different, and I feel that is the image I want to give to that girl so that we may be respected. At the same time, I want to advocate for the functioning of psychotherapies, whose image today is very degraded, practically reserved for extreme cases, perhaps with a little more breadth than before. That such things do work, of course, with the patient's commitment. And at the same time, that the humanists, a group with which I incorporate, we are not people with problems or low self-esteem who were told to go to that place as an escape from them.

I also want to give a perspective on people who are lonely. We are not self-absorbed people, who abandon others, etc. I believe there are many very prejudiced groups, I insist, not without cause, but if I can do something about it, I feel I am protecting others and helping to distinguish those who do not engage in disrespectful behavior, abusing the way those groups characterize themselves.

I feel like I am giving that girl a huge gift by not insisting further. I don't think she will respond to me, and that, for me, means that she feels my respect, that she is dedicated to her own things, that she is not ready to leave there, and that is precisely the perfect motivation to satisfy that desire to have new people in her life. I am proud of my behavior in this sense.

I (14F) didn’t really get to have a childhood, I was forced to grow up fast. Apparently my life was good until I was 5, but I don’t remember that. When I turned 5, my mom had my baby sister but her and my dad got a divorce. I had to stay with my mom,but she wasn’t good at parenting whatsoever.My mom was doing several drugs and would sell our toys for drug money.I always had to take care of my baby sister while taking care of myself and school. So much had happened during that time that changed my life forever. Now I live with my dad since he got custody of me and my sister, but it hasn’t been easy with him either. I’m going to be turning 15 later this year,but mentally I feel like I’m between the ages of 6-10. Im not able to control it, since I started accepting the more childlike part of me that I didn’t get to feel when I was younger I’ve noticed some mental changes. Im not as smart as I used to be and at times I physically feel younger like the ages I said before. I have a hard time taking care of myself like eating right, sleeping right, taking my medication,ect. Im scared of the future because I know I’ll have to get a job and drive soon. I have terrible anxiety and crazy painful panic attacks,and I don’t know how I would get a job without any social abilities. Im terrified of driving because I have been in several car accidents, plus I can barely walk across the busy street on my own without being scared as hell.

Me,My dad, and my sister live with my grandma and grandpa in their house. I don’t have my own room because our rooms are in the areas upstairs.me and my sisters area is just an open room by the staircase with a divider between our beds and my dads room in infront of ours but he has a door. I’ve never had my own room but now that I’m getting older I kinda want my own room but I can’t. My dad knows about my mental issues and has taken me out of school because of my anxiety (and issues with the school), but I won’t finish Highschool so it will just be harder to get a job. Im scared to move out but I want to because I just want my own space. My dad said he would take care of me forever because it’s hard for me to just function normally through a day, but I know he won’t be around long enough to do that because he is already 46 and I don’t want to put him through that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I’m like this, nobody can tell me what’s wrong

I have a day at work and not gonna go in much detail, but let’s just say I made a mistake and yet everyone makes it feel like the stupidest idea I ever had. We are meeting. We cleared everything out, but I’m now feeling like I’m the bad guy all over again. Even my parents think that I did something stupid even though I can’t help it at times it’s just that I think what bugs me the most lately is the crying of others that makes me feel like I can’t stop it. They’re going to make it worse for me and I hate seeing crying. Everybody’s gonna blame me for one little thing. But I know a mistake. But it gets hard going to get this pressure specially from the people you’re working with cause they’re saying on their butts and not doing anything and you’re trying to do your best. I guess sometimes your best is not the greatest. Hopefully next week will be better.

okay so this week (and some of last week) have been annoying as freak but it has been extra. there's these to boys in my 6th period, (we will call K and N) I have 3 classes with K and 1 with N, lately they have been a big pain and stressing me out. for some reason N has been calling me a boy/man or "He" and I'm a woman not trans or anything (NOT HATING, I support) N keeps doing it. I've told him to actually stop. at first I thought it was funny, no harm but then it slowly came annoying and of course K being a follower when it comes to his friends he started calling me a boy/man and he wont stop. its not even funny its just so freaking annoying. they have also been bothering me and my (more than friends, who we will call L) they are friends of L but he doesn't want to be friends with N and K anymore, L struggles with sleep and sleeps during class sometimes, I.D.C. but like in 6th period we were watching a flipping movie and they kept bothering me and L, using Bluetooth headphones to play annoying audio in L ear. I had to snatch them out of N hand and give them to our teacher and tell her not to give them back at all. even L is over this like me and L just want to chill and be happy but I cant get a break for once! I can decide if I should just keep silent and wait for it to stop or freaking do something about it because honestly its pissing me off that these people cant grow up and are acting like 5 yr old boys.

For so many years, I've been so totally horrible to everyone around me. People that I call my friends, my family, people I don't even really like, everyone. I don't know how to control my temper, or my tone, and I lash out at people for no reason. No wonder he doesn't want to talk to me. I've been so horrible, so mean to him the two years I've known him. No wonder he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. He didn't say it, but I know it's true. Nobody deserves to have a "friend" as horrible as me. Especially him. He deserved better than to be forced to deal with me for two straight years. I don't know how I didn't notice before now.

so I was just like sleeping in band class right? I wake up, and my 'friend'(are we even still friends? I dunno) takes the stand in front of me. out of curiosity I look to the stand next to them and go 'what about this one?'. they explain to me that it was broken and we leave it at that. however they'd been sort of purposefully avoiding talking to me{?) and so I ask 'hey are you mad at me?' pretty obviously I was scared, due to being brought up in an environment where everyone was mad at me all the time for no reason and caused me to have heavy people pleasing tendencies. then they started going off on me about how I always think people are mad at me and blah blah blah. thing is, they KNOW about my home life. but like they're being nice to all the other friends they abandoned me for. so I dunno.

I'm kinda supposed to be practicing for Solo and Ensemble right now. But I can't. I just can't. I don't know why. I don't want to, or can't, do anything. I'm not that good at my solo, and the event is tomorrow, but I don't really care. I don't care if I go up there and get the lowest rating, a 0 out of 30. Honestly? I don't even want to be on this earth anymore.

It seems unbelievable, but I'm in love. As I unburden myself to her in these terrible ways, I find light in the way I see her as attractive. I no longer distance myself, and I confess, out of prejudice. Which surprises me, really. You don't know where your mind is going in this business. One moment you think one way and the next you think another. It's as if I still can't appreciate how beautiful the moments with her were.

Unfortunately, not everything is wonderful. She reminds me of a girl I knew from college who fell in love with me and did everything she could to prevent it. In a crazy way, too, with the same people from the university supporting her. Her priority was her life before her feelings; that's how separated the issue was. In other words, her life was governed by her feelings; in fact, she had buried them in order to be with others, others enjoying themselves, and herself relaxing. What a miserable life, frankly. How can it be done? She ran away from her crush. Who knows if this is her first crush?

How many times does one fall in love in life? And the girlfriend overrides those feelings? How can that be? How is it possible that an entire university prioritized a union over a crush? This already shows that no one cares about who they are, only about maintaining order. What macabre selfishness. And they did everything possible to keep me in that same line, to destabilize me, to be at the mercy of suggestion, hiding the truth. Even my entourage participated in this. Is it fair? I don't think so at all.

We appeased, we sent that girl's feelings to earth unfairly. She had the right to be in love. Now, being in love will also identify with problems, given that after her mistreatment, which resulted in violence, I had to call a psychologist because I was the one who received her, supported by her people, even outside the university. Is this fair? We buried this girl's feelings. The simple fact of experiencing them, in a way, the way she had, sent her to hell. How could we be like that with her? And the worst part is that she's the one who told me to get out of her life when others had influenced me. Furthermore, she continues with the people who influenced her and who influenced me to such an extent. Furthermore, she influenced me with her violence. Is it really fair? Is it really fair that this girl can't experience feelings?

So, we all wash our hands. Everyone does what she wants and that's it, all to get out of the mess. No one admits responsibility, of course. In my case, I was over the moon, I couldn't admit any responsibility, but she even understood that. That thing with her was a disaster; it was a game with her feelings, an outrage, it wasn't fair. The worst part is that she defended me just so I'd leave. I remember seeing her with her hand trembling in front of me. Of course, I didn't trust her or anyone around her either. I was on my own, it was always like that, and they assumed it wasn't like that, who knows why, and then she had to push me away because of that assumption. But what a disaster it feels like.

In short, in that situation, what mattered more was order, everyone going their separate ways, the girl and me talking, than anything else. Everyone there was safe, except for her, who had given birth and was in the worst possible situation. Why didn't anyone do anything? Why didn't that university do anything if it even had a psychologist? Forty days had passed, and I couldn't believe that girl was like that, and on top of that, with the others all making bad faces, wanting to make her feel worse, since I'm capable of going to the necessary legal extremes. Is this fair? How selfish of all of us. No one cares about anyone.

How is this girl going to express her feelings now? Her feelings, the only way she had of expressing them, the only loving way, were sent to hell, and she didn't know what to do. Why did we have to be this way with her? Of course, I had to protect myself from her. Also, the question: Why did I include myself in this? If I was violated, I was incapacitated, and in addition to protecting myself from others, I had to safeguard my physical and perhaps even physical integrity. Why do I include myself in this mess? I have no business being in that mess.

What I observe, first, is that those around me encouraged my going to the psychologist, given the game with expectations—I was always congruent—no one supported what that girl felt—I did—and also always buried her feelings—I never did that. This is an environment that does not give rise to emotions and on top of that makes their expression grotesque as a result of this, when finding a chance, it becomes aggressive and therefore distancing the person from possibility and consequently, this makes it an absorbing environment and blurs the person because we are according to feelings, without them we are also something but given to Machiavellianism, that is, there are intentions behind it, and therefore she's not a person evolving, but completely out of step with the reality embodied in her psyche. Given this, I fully supported her.

That said, then, how can it be that I was the only one who supported that girl? How is it possible that I was the only one? Why didn't anyone else do it? Why am I the only one who has to act for her health? Out of respect for her? Does this even make sense? Furthermore, acting at all costs according to her decisions, whatever they may be, a question that I even had to make methodological. Why does it have to be this way? Why did I have to go to such extremes? I don't understand. Does no one want to take care of her, and only me, but going to such extremes and thus pushing her away? Why did this have to happen? Why should the only person who supports her be the one who has to distance herself, while those who aren't closest to her are left behind? It's not fair. No wonder she revealed herself to them! I'm already becoming somewhat aware of the situation, and she became aware of it before the second-to-last time I saw her.

How hard it was for me to recognize that she had become aware of the situation. Furthermore, it was a truly tyrannical effort for her. How would she feel if she didn't? Naturally, she explodes in anger and takes advantage of the situation, because she can't stand it anymore. After I brought her to the psychotherapist, she couldn't stand it anymore. It was going to result in the typical bias: she yells at me, explodes, and I say this is such and such. Fortunately, that girl trusted the wisdom of my decisions. It's not just about looking after her feelings, but also about setting boundaries, which is also about looking after them, given that she looks after me and her in an egalitarian and non-burdensome way for both of us, which allows us to be in this relationship. That relationship never ended. However, I must admit, I don't feel like I'm in love with her, under any circumstances.

With her, I admit it, I only supported her feelings as much as I could, as much as she allowed. The fact that she was in love with me was something I had to value because she considered me for a life with me, and I think that's a great honor, not a cause for annoyance or unworthiness in any sphere. I consider her feelings sacred in every way, and they should be treated that way, not with masks or anything like that, complacency or anything like that. I feel that I prevented the same thing they did to me with her. From what I can say from that experience, she was a responsible, fair person, constantly expanding her prudence, managing to uphold these values ​​even in conditions that were impossible for many people.

Meanwhile, I continue my love affair, which, frankly, I see is reciprocal. Fortunately. I hope to do things well.

My partner has epilepsy and for a while it’s been manageable, but recently it’s been getting worse.

It all started when on a Sunday, I went to his place, and when we were walking from a room to another he fainted in my arm and had a non-culvulsion seizure. We went to the ER and he’s slowly been getting better, but today when he was at the hospital waiting for his meeting with their neurologist, they had a seizure (a complete one) and now their stuck at the hospital until further notice.

I’m rly worried because his health keeps getting worse and I’m seeing it myself, I don’t think theirs any life risk, but it’s still scary to me. I can’t go use on my own issues and all because I’m worried about him. It just breaks my heart to see him get worse, even if it’s « not that bad »