Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 19

MY STUPID "FRIEND" IS DEATH STARING ME. HE'S BEEN DEATH STARING ME ALL DAY. IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT HE WON'T TALK TO ME HE ALSO HAS TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I KILLED HIS DOG OR SOMETHING. WHAT DID I DO. WHY IS HE DEATH STARING ME.

honestly, idk how i even got here. i remember bein little and my parents tellin everyone how great i was gonna be, how i was the future star, how i was totally gonna make it big and get a scholarship for sports. they always said it so proud, u kno? like they just KNEW i was gonna be somebody special. i used to believe em too, cuz like why wouldn't i? theyre my parents, right? they always seemed to know everythin. but now im 17, bout to finish highschool and the truth is i aint good enough. like i tried, i swear i tried so hard, practice every single day, pushin myself, stayin late after practice when everyone else left, but i never got faster, never got stronger, never became the athlete everyone thought id become. now the letters from colleges never came. the scouts stopped comin to the games. and its like i let everyone down so hard that i cant even look em in the eye anymore.

my parents are straight up mean now. its like since they realized im not gonna get that scholarship, im worthless. they barely talk to me anymore, unless its to yell at me or remind me how much time and money they "wasted" on me. i mean, i kno they did sacrifice a lot, im not stupid, i kno that equipment and travel and camps cost money and they spent so much on me, but like… idk man, was that the only reason they cared? did they just want some kinda trophy kid they could brag about to their friends? cuz now its like theyre ashamed of me or sumthin. dinner at our house is silent. if i try talkin, they either ignore me or give me short answers. my dad used to come to every game, now he acts like its a burden to even look at me. my mom cries sometimes but not like she sad for me, more like shes embarrassed of me. its like im not their kid anymore, just some failure that lives under their roof.

the worst part is that i actually started believin them. like when they first started sayin stuff like how im lazy or not tryin hard enough, i fought back, i argued, told em i was doin my best. but now im thinkin maybe theyre right. maybe i didnt push myself as hard as i couldve. maybe if id stayed longer, ran faster, lifted more weights, maybe id actually be worth somethin. the coaches stopped givin me special attention cuz i wasnt improvin like other guys on the team. my teammates still cool to me, but i feel like they pity me or sumthin, like im the guy who almost made it but didnt. i feel like everyone looks at me differently now. im not that guy everyone cheered for, im the guy they feel sorry for, the guy who couldnt deliver. the guy who let everyone down. honestly, it hurts more than anything else cuz i used to be so confident. i used to walk on the field thinkin i was gonna show everyone how great i was. now, i walk on the field wishin i could just disappear.

every day now feels heavy. like i wake up and dread havin to go downstairs and see the disappointment on my parents faces again. i dread goin to school cuz ppl still ask bout college and scholarships and i gotta keep makin up excuses why i didnt get one yet. some days i just wanna quit everythin and hide in my room forever. my grades slipped too cuz i spent all my time tryna be a better athlete instead of studyin, thinkin sports was gonna carry me. now i dont got good grades, i dont got a scholarship, and i feel stuck. like my whole future just vanished and i got nowhere to go. its scary, man. i had it all planned out. everyone else had it planned out for me too. now im just floatin around wonderin what im supposed to do next.

i kno ppl say life aint over at 17, that theres more out there, more opportunities or whatever. but its hard to believe that right now. its hard to feel hopeful when ur own parents look at u like ur their biggest mistake. i never wanted to disappoint anyone, especially not them. they always told me sports was gonna be my ticket to a better life. now i got no ticket, just a bunch of broken dreams. i wanna believe it gets better, i wanna believe someday theyll forgive me for not bein who they wanted me to be, and that ill forgive myself for not bein who i thought id become. but right now, i just feel like a total failure. i guess all i can do is hope someday i stop feelin this way, cuz honestly it sucks, and i wish i knew how to fix it.

My best friend recently just changed out of nowhere and now I think she hates me. I asked her if she was fine when we were walking to class and she just snapped at me. And once I asked her to be in a group with us for a project with some other friends and she said yes so I was surprised that she wasn’t going with her other good friend and she was like “do you not want me in your group?” Am I js overthinking or does she not wanna be friends anymore?

I never thought I'd be someone who would complain about havin too much support from her parents. Honestly, most people would probably envy my situation, havin grandparents so involved and present. But lately, I swear it feels like they're takin over my house and my life. My husband and I just had our first baby—a beautiful little girl—and we thought havin my parents around would be the biggest blessing. But now, I find myself constantly frustrated, anxious, and overwhelmed. My parents have always been loving, but now they've turned into helicopter grandparents, hovering over every little thing we do. From how we hold our baby to the way we wash bottles, every single decision seems to need their approval. At first, I thought it was sweet, them wanting to help and be involved, but it quickly became clear that it's way too much. Like, seriously, do they really need to rearrange my kitchen cabinets because "it makes more sense" their way? Or constantly tell us we're dressing our daughter wrong, feeding her too often, or not enough? I mean, don't get me wrong—I appreciate that they're here for us, but it’s starting to feel like they're forgetting this is our child, our house, and our life.

The biggest issue, though, is that they're always popping over unannounced. I'll be sittin on the couch, exhausted after finally getting my baby down for a nap, and suddenly I hear the front door open and my parents stroll in like they own the place. No call, no text, nothing. They just assume that because we're family, boundaries don't exist. My husband tries to be patient, bless his heart, but I can see it wearing on him, too. The other day, they walked right into our bedroom to "check on the baby," completely ignoring that we were both still asleep. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and honestly disrespectful, even though I know they mean well. Every time I try to gently bring it up, my mom acts hurt, like I'm rejecting her help or saying she's a bad grandmother. My dad just gets defensive, claiming they're only trying to make things easier on us. But how can I tell them that they're actually making things so much harder? I don't wanna hurt their feelings—I love them dearly—but I'm an adult now, and I deserve to have my own space, my own rules, and my own way of doing things.

Setting boundaries with my parents feels harder than I ever imagined. I always pictured us being a big happy family, but this constant invasion of our privacy is straining everything. So how do you even start setting boundaries with parents who don't think they need them? I've realized it's gotta be about clear communication. I know it sounds obvious, but it's honestly terrifying to think of sitting them down and saying, "Look, we need some space." But I also know that if I don't speak up, it's never gonna get better. So, I'm planning to have an honest conversation soon—just me, my husband, and my parents. I need them to understand it's not about rejecting their love or pushing them away, it's about respecting the fact that we're our own little family unit now, with our own routines and preferences. I have to find a gentle way to say that while their intentions are great, their actions sometimes cross the line. Maybe I can suggest specific times they can come over, or ask them to call before they visit. Maybe setting certain tasks aside specifically for them, like babysitting once a week or family dinners every Sunday, will help them feel involved without overstepping. It's not gonna be easy, and I fully expect some hurt feelings and awkwardness at first. But setting boundaries isn't about hurting relationships—it's about protecting them. I believe my parents love us enough to eventually understand, even if it's painful at first. All I know is, if I don't start setting these boundaries now, I might end up resenting the people I love most—and that's something I refuse to let happen.

Growing up, I never really knew there was a name for what my parents were. I just knew that somethin was off. Other kids talked about their moms and dads like they were these safe places, comfort zones, u kno? Mine weren’t. My parents were more like actors on a stage, and I was the audience they needed applause from constantly. Everything revolved around them—their feelings, their needs, their dreams. If they had a bad day, it was my fault. If they fought, somehow that landed on me too. I learned early to keep quiet, to keep my own feelings hidden, cause whenever I tried to express them, I got shut down quick. It was always, “How could u say that after everything we’ve done for u?” Or my personal favorite, “You’re so selfish.” For a long time, I actually believed that. I thought that maybe I really was selfish for wanting my own feelings to matter. And it’s taken years, and a whole lotta therapy to finally realize that wanting to be heard doesn’t make me selfish—it makes me human.

It’s funny tho, lookin back, cause when I was little I just assumed every house was like mine. That every kid walked on eggshells tryin not to upset their parents. I thought every mom was dramatic and cried easily, making you feel guilty for even existin. I thought every dad was overly critical, pickin apart every mistake, remindin you constantly how lucky you were that he even bothered to feed and clothe you. It wasn’t till I started spendin more time at my friends’ houses that I realized something was seriously messed up at mine. Their parents listened to them. Like really listened. When my friends spoke, their parents didn’t just wait for their turn to talk—they actually heard them. And when they messed up, they got hugged, comforted, reassured. Not shamed or belittled. The more I saw that, the more confused and honestly jealous I became. I wondered what it felt like to grow up without fear, without that constant anxiety in your gut tellin u that ur feelings weren’t important, that ur only job was to make sure your parents were happy, even if it meant hiding who you really were.

As I got older, it didn’t get easier. In some ways it got harder. Teen years are supposed to be when you figure out who u are, but that was nearly impossible in a house ruled by narcissists. Any attempt at independence was treated like a personal betrayal. My mom would cry, sayin I didn’t love her anymore. My dad would get cold and distant, like I’d deeply offended him just by having an opinion of my own. I learned to live a double life—one version for home, the other for school and friends. But the exhaustion of it was brutal. I felt like an actor too, just like them, pretendin to be okay, pretendin everything was fine. Even when I left home and went to college, the damage was already done. I struggled to form healthy relationships. I kept waitin for friends or boyfriends to turn on me, to blame me for things, to tell me my feelings weren’t valid. And sometimes they did, cause I guess I subconsciously chose people who were familiar—people who acted like my parents. Breaking that cycle felt almost impossible. I kept wonderin if maybe my parents were right, maybe I really was just impossible to love or deeply flawed somehow.

But here’s the thing: eventually, I found people who showed me different. I found therapy. I found books and podcasts that made me realize I wasn’t alone, that being raised by narcissists wasn’t my fault, and most importantly, that it didn’t have to define me forever. Slowly, I started settin boundaries. Slowly, I learned to say no without feelin guilty. Slowly, I started believin that my feelings mattered just as much as anyone else’s. It's still hard sometimes. There’s still days when the old voices creep back in, tellin me I’m not good enough or that I’m selfish for thinkin of myself. But now I kno those voices are lies. Now I kno my worth isn’t defined by anyone else's approval, especially not theirs. I won’t pretend it’s been easy—cause it hasn’t. Healing from parents like mine is messy, complicated, and takes longer than anyone wants to admit. But it’s possible. It’s happening. And every day I feel a lil bit more free. I might’ve been raised by narcissists, but I don’t have to live the rest of my life under their shadow. I’m finally learnin to step into the light—my own light. And damn, it feels good.

I'm tired of not being recognized. Nobody pays attention to me nor acknowledges my existence properly.

I tried other sites to vent, but nobody responded or even let me speak. It feels like there’s nothing special about me anymore. I don’t feel unique, and I need someone to make me feel alive, to make me feel like I’m worth something.

It became overwhelming, and I started to feel a profound sense of desperation, crying uncontrollably. I want someone to acknowledge me, but there are no people, no topics to talk about, and nothing about me that seems interesting.

I almost gave into SH again after months of not doing it; but with all my will, I made it into cold water before that happened. It wasn't even enough... Well, whatever. I'm now here

I guess it’s just me and my past regrets. I’ve come to realize that most people either act like it never happened or talk to someone else to share their sorrow, and somehow that works for them. So, I'm probably just another idiot.

so I'm in uni and there's this one guy who's annoying. and when I say annoying he is extremely annoying. very confident in himself, socialises quite well with everyone ( in a way where they all joke about him not doing work and he claims he does work - he does the work, mostly, he knows what's happening and is just lazy I believe-- a lot of the people go to him to ask him if their answers are right --he gets the answers from previous year students)

I, as a shy person, hardly speak to him or even look at him. I'm there, quitely getting my work and struggling on my own. I wonder if he even knows my name. another reason why I don't speak to him is that I've been in groups with him before and it wasn't very pleasant - ego, and all stuff I can't find the words for right now

point is- he was presenting with his group the other day, and I was observing how he was making faces at this girl in his group who kinda messed up the introduction of the presentation. I was like she's nervous, it's not that deep, why is he getting so annoyed. I ended up making eye contact with him and I looked away cuz now why not ( the type to think all girls like him and if you constantly make eye contact it means the same)

when I was presenting, a girl next to me volunteered to answer the lecturers question and he was looking in our direction with weird curiousity and smile/smirk idk on his. then I realised oh maybe it's cuz they volunteered to answer and save the group or he thinks they nerdy idk. later, the same girl next to me told me that when we both presented our parts, he listened and constantly nodded in agreement to our points , and for the others , he had his earphones on and was glued to his phone. I was like okay well it doesn't have to mean anything

few days later, when the same girl and I were walking to the lecture room, he was sitting on the side and I saw him literally following us (with eyes) as we walked. the girl and I are like whatt even.

a day later, we had to work together again amongst others, and other groups were discussing and working together, but mine was just quiet. so I was like looking around to see ..guys are we gonna work together or what. and I looked at him . eye contact. and the actual point here is . his eyes says something, shows some sense of emotion but what's working on me is that I cant figure out what the eyes are showing.it feels like there's so much being spoken in those seconds. like hes thinking so much and what is actually going through his head? what is he thinking? is he looking at me with disgust? superiority? it doesn't look like it. it looks something soft. or mocking sometimes? in the sense that he is well confident in himself, life sorted, socialises. firstly, I'm shy and he hardly even heard my voice or saw me, so what I'm questioning is that why are his eyes like that 😭. and why am I overthinking all this. and I'm not into all this liking and having a crush and all so please don't jump to these thoughts😭 it's just really irritating not knowing what's he thinking and also irritating to want to know what he's thinking.

really sorry for such a long story, don't know how to summarise. I need a solution. I can't keep feeling shy with people first of all. and why must I feel weak and break the eye contact and feel weird about what he's saying with his eyes.

I don't know.

For years I've always been... "different"

The tallest girl in class, the biggest girl in the room, the darkest girl in school, the girl with the deepest voice, the girl with a fiery temper, etc. Ive never found myself fitting into one mould or having someone that I can totally relate to. Even now I find myself lost as the only person in my circle of friends that does not want to uptake medicine or STEM subjects in general. It's always me... I feel like I'm cursed to always be the "odd one out" I feel inferior to others. Like as if I don't matter or I'll never be good enough because I'm not like "them". I'm not pretty, I'm not as smart, not as ambitious or studious, not as gifted. I'm just me but here's the case... what do I even have to offer to the table? Who am I even? What am I? What was I made for... what was I made to do. What does my future even look like... All these questions and yet I'm met with no answer. Just doubts piling on my brain like a bunch of incomplete assignments. Am I even worth it as a person?

idk wht category to choose for this

I don’t want to need people. I don’t want to want people. I don’t want to care about people. Like these couple of months (and can even say years) ive have really tried looking for someone , someone really close to like a best friend if someone would say. I feel like that’s what made me really sad like in movies it’s always ‘I will always have that one person’ like bro why can’t it be more idolized that people don’t have anyone, they have themselves ABD are still happy. I’m not tryna be depressed on this whole ‘self-isolation’ thing but it’s really not guaranteed that you’d ever find someone. Like I want to learn about be COMPLETELY happy alone. Like genuinely have tried making friends but NO everyone has their person. This doesn’t help that the shows I grew up with always revolve around friends and ‘best friends’ . And ik all that stuff about ‘humans are social creatures’ shut up .

Just trying to find someone leads me to disappointment and it just hurts tryna find my person. Wish I have the mentality of not needing anyone this week did somehow start like that. But a fight happened in school and I just taught of how nice it would have been to have friends to talk about it. Like so a lot of my plans have actually tried to make me cope with this by tryna find someone that also relates to my situation. But idek

Well I think that’s it?

Hopefully no one’s gonna be like ‘don’t worry you will find your person’ ‘it will be worth the wait when you get them’ ‘it’s hard having no friends’

I've been married for 20 years with no children. Due to medical error, my wife was incapacitated, and I became 24/7 home carer for 9 years. In recent years, we've seen significant improvement in mobility and function, but due to brain damage, my wife will never recover her memories or her personality. Our relationship unsurprisingly is now more like close siblings or housemates, not a spouse and lover. From being best friends, we now find ourselves having different views, preferences, and even desires. Because of Christian faith, we won't get divorced, and so my wife suggested I discretely find what is missing elsewhere.

I'm not looking for random one-time hookups or to be a sugar daddy. But I do crave the emotional connection, flirting, and excitement missing from my life. I just don't know how best to find a woman who seeks the same. I'm looking for my new best friend, initially online, until we know each fully. Then if if it's meant to be, naturally in person with a view to being each others FWB?

(what? these letters to myself actually really help. You should try it.)

Hey me,

I see you in homeroom, blasting Letdown through your earbuds. I'm doing the same thing. Marching Band yesterday was crazy, wasn't it? Last year's Spring Trainings weren't that fun! I don't remember playing Sharks and Minnows and Red Light Green Light last year, do you?

Anyway. I know seeing Skyler again hurt. I still don't know why he stopped talking to you. He's a bit of an asshole, you know? But at least you have Kiara, and your cousin, and sometimes Kris. Maybe, eventually, even Greysi or Lillian. And Lauren seems to like you decently. You don't need Skyler, do you?

I know you really liked him. But you're over him now, aren't you? I know I am.

And you can have just as much fun at the Marhing Band car wash without him. I know, being friends with him made it more fun, but you don't need a boy like him to have fun. You'll make new friends. And like I said, you have Kiara.

I know he hurt you really bad when he started ignoring you. I get it. Things like that hurt. And now, it just adds to what your school "friends" have been doing to you. But trust me, you don't need him. And things like that never last forever. My guess is that he was friends with you while he liked you, and when he stopped liking you, he didn't see any point in being your friend anymore. Boys have weird logic like that. I swear I will never understand them.

I know things seem bad right now, because soon you're gonna have to see him two to three times every week, but you'll get over him completely. I promise. We're gonna get through this. We're stronger than you think we are. Heck, we're probably stronger than I think we are.

You got this,

You.

So yesterday the Marching Band season started

I have a friend who's in marching band. she's three years older than me, she's really awesome and she has GREAT taste in music.

I met her last year in last year's marching band season. (last year was my first year.)

Also last year, I had another friend.

He was pretty cool. We met because of a mutual friend I had made during that year's Spring Trainings.

We became pretty good friends.

The music that year was really stressful. I ended up crying in the hallway, considering quitting, but he gave me a pep talk.

I started to really like him.

Then, in the middle of the season last year, he stopped speaking to me for no reason at all.

And then, yesterday, first day of spring Trainings, I had to see him again.

It hurt like crazy.

I am tired about feeling like a failure.. I have done a mistake and I want to find amends to it.. But all I feel is I am tired I can't anymore..

My boyfriend feels hurt and I know I have hurt him but I don't know how to make amends. I know I am the worst person present.. I have let him down always.. I feel like I am the bad person in his life.. Somehow whatever happens I end up being the bad person.. I get angry I shout.. I don't know how to process anything.. I don't know how to go on.. I have made a decision to end my life right now.. I feel like I have no purpose and no motivation if things will be alright.. I have no hope left.. I can't change the situation nor myself and nothing is getting solved anymore.. So I have decided to die

i dont really kno how to explain it but like most days i feel happy but sad at the same time, like im laughin with my friends and everything seem fine, i go to school, i joke around, i listen to music, i even get excited for stuff like a new movie or some game night or whatever, but deep down theres this weird sadness just sittin there and i dont even kno why, like theres nothin wrong exactly, nothing i can point to and say “this is why im sad” but it’s just there like a quiet shadow followin me everywhere even when the sun’s out, i could be in the middle of a good moment and then boom i just feel kinda empty, and it dont make sense cause my life isn’t bad, i got a roof, i eat every day, my family’s not perfect but they’re not awful either, nd i got a few real friends, not a lot but enough, so why do i feel like this? why do i feel like im broken or like something’s missin? sometimes i’ll be walking home and suddenly i feel like crying for no reason at all, and i dont cry, not really, but like inside it builds up and makes my chest tight, and i try to smile through it cause i don’t wanna be the sad kid or make things awkward for other people, like they expect me to be chill and upbeat cause that’s what i’ve always been but i feel like im fakin it more and more lately, like i don’t even know if the smiles are real or just habit now, nd then when i try to explain it to someone i feel stupid cause i don’t even got a story to tell, it’s just vibes, like this weird heavy cloud that dont go away even when the sky’s blue, nd sometimes i think maybe that’s just life and everyone’s like this and they just hide it better or maybe im just soft or weak for lettin it get to me, but either way it sucks, cause i wanna be happy for real, not fake happy or happy with a side of sad, just happy and done, but it never last, it’s like i reach it for a sec and then sadness taps me on the shoulder again and i cant shake it, nd maybe that’s what scares me the most, that this weird mix of happy and sad is just who i am forever and i’ll never feel one without the other again.

Like ok I have really wanted a friend, not just any friend like a close friend essentially a best friend if you would say. I wanted one of those since late 2022. <jst smt random-

In 2022, would I really say I had this person? I think so? She’s kinda the reason I want one of these people, bc yh she really did kinda vibe with me , even when i wasn’t really vibing with her. Like i don’t really remember but she was an AMAZING responder(ATLEAST that what I remember??) I was young then, I would say she’s the reason 2022 (ATLEAST March-June) was so good>

So we stopped talking, I moved and tbh Id say I don’t really have friends here. Like tbh ever since like I stopped being friends with her, I never have that person again since like I think I’ve been trying to find a person the same as her? Yk? Like I’ve tried making a best friend online but they just aren’t really a vibe like I wouldn’t even say theif ever be a best friend to me , and the other way around.

This is gonna be about just like recently, so ‘highschool’ that’s what they call it here. Like ever since the 5th of September ive been sitting alone and I don’t think I have friends or atleast friends that are close, yk u sit with them at lunch, and all that close friend stuff. Like OK BEILVE ME I HAVE TRIED MAKING FRIENDS BUT EVERYONE CLEARLY HAS THEIR OWN FRIENDS. Like yk sciences in movies where a girl comes sit with the girl alone and they become friends and even closer, like seriously where is that person for me?? Where my friend that has ‘been through it all with me’ . Like around February this year I have been trying to manifest a friend but someone in a similar situation with me. Like they also have no friends so we hang out with each other but as uve prob guessed I don’t have them.

No cause I have tried I’ve tried with the new girl at my school (in like September I think?) the conversation was so one sided. Like I see her sometimes and I think shes still alone too, I’ve tried online making a bff I tried with a person , we exchanged flipping PHONES NUMBERS! I thought this will be it , but she really isn’t my kinda person. She says she hangs out with people she dislikes and she hates them, I was like then leave??? And she was like but IDONT wanna be alone. Ok yk I might be being petite but I literally tell her my situation and how I have no friends so why would she even say that??? Like abd overall her response ts are so bland like I think that’s a key thing for me in friends like fym ur a good ‘listener’ but not a good responder at that point let me just go talk to the wall

Well I think that’s all <3

So I don’t know if I want a best friend or someone who kinda relate to me and my situation?

I really hope someone actually gets this and not be like ‘it’s hard having no friends but u will find some!’