Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 54

Heyah!! 1st I wanna say... To whoever reads this... I give you full authority to copy my idea that I thought of just now... Since I know for myself, I'll never be able to achieve it... I'd like someone else to if they have the means to do so...

So, you know how plastic is hella annoying, and it'll last forever basically... Or at least for a good few hundred thousand years or so... So...

Why not invent books filled with knowledge... Fully made of recycled plastic from wasted bottles or other discarded plastic junk. Knowledge is power, and why not preserve the knowledge into something that most likely will be around for a sh*t-ton amount of time. Plus, with this idea, less trees would be needed for making paper.

Anyway. To whoever is able to make my dream come true... I thank you and so does this Earth and I guess future people who want to enjoy knowledge.

I'm gonna go write another story/random conversation on this app, but feel free to comment or like😄👍🏻✨!!

And if this idea already exists... Then I look forward to seeing more developments into this idea😍🙏🏻✨!!!

In sta gram : (no spaces) happy _ xiaohang 100

Have a wonderful day lovely humans👋🏻😃!!!

I'm headed back to California in May and I'm so pumped to see my bestie🤩🙏🏻✨!! We're planning to go the the Cat Lounge and I'll finally get my cat addiction fulfilled😻!!! I miss the beach and I'm currently living in the desert and it's annoying as fork for my poor hair😱!! But I'm so glad to see my friendo😄! Plus, we'll be celebrating our birthdays together too🥳!! 24 BABY🎊🥳🎉!! Year of the snake🐍!!! Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing well. And eating good food and drinking lots of water😋👍🏻!!

I bought a harmless cap gun that was bright orange and cost 279.99 dollars. I waited for 2 months and then found out that it had been seized by border patrol

Some days, I sit at the kitchen table when everyone’s gone to bed, and I just let myself breathe for a moment. It’s quiet, finally, but my mind is anything but. I love my family more than anything, but honestly, it’s hard. Really hard. People don’t talk enough about how challenging it is to keep everything together. I have three kids, all different ages, all with different needs, and a husband who works long hours. Most days, I feel like I’m juggling too many things at once—laundry, homework, grocery lists, dentist appointments, making sure the little one eats something besides pasta for the third day in a row. And while I’m grateful to have them, I sometimes feel like I’m disappearing in the middle of all this. Like I’m no longer “me,” just “mom,” the one who’s supposed to fix everything.

There’s also the emotional stuff, the things that don’t get posted on Facebook or shared in group chats. The tantrums, the teenage silence, the worries about if we’re raising them right. My oldest is starting to pull away, and I know it’s normal, but it still stings. He used to tell me everything. Now it’s just shrugs and “nothing, mom.” And my middle child—she’s so sensitive, so emotional lately. I worry I’m not giving her enough attention. The baby still wakes up at night sometimes, and I’m just… exhausted. But I keep going, because that’s what moms do, right? We keep going. But inside, I worry all the time. Am I doing enough? Am I messing them up somehow? Am I being a good wife while trying to be a good mom? Because some days, it feels like I’m failing at both.

Money’s tight, too, and that brings a whole different kind of stress. It’s not just about affording big things like vacations or new clothes, it’s the small stuff. School fees, birthday gifts for classmates, a pair of shoes that suddenly don’t fit anymore. I find myself up at night trying to plan out the next month’s bills, wondering if we’ll make it to the next paycheck without dipping into savings again. My husband does his best, he works hard, but sometimes I wish we talked more about how all of this is affecting us. I can tell he’s tired too, but we rarely sit down and really talk. We’re just passing each other, getting through the days. And I miss him. I miss us. But even when I want to bring it up, I don’t know how without making it sound like I’m complaining, so I keep it in. I keep everything in.

Despite all of it, I try to stay hopeful. I try to find small joys—the way my daughter hugs me when she’s sleepy, the silly jokes my son still makes when he forgets to be “too cool,” the way my husband reaches for my hand in the dark when he thinks I’m already asleep. It’s not perfect, not even close. But it’s ours. These family challenges, as draining and frustrating as they are, also remind me that we’re still here, still showing up for each other, even in the mess. And maybe that’s enough right now. Maybe it’s okay that I don’t have it all figured out. Maybe part of being a family is learning how to get through the hard stuff together, even when you feel like everything’s falling apart. I just wish someone told me how heavy it could feel some days. But even so, I wouldn’t trade it. Not for a second.

Things for next year / my glow up

Work: cafe / Dairy Queen / last resort irrigation

HOODIES

Thin graphic sweaters (12-27$)

No hood(14-20)

Chunky(18-25$)

SHIRTS

tangtops(3-7$)

Shoulder show(5-8$)

Graphic tees(7.99-12$)

PANTS

pants that cover my feet(15-20$)

Baggy jean(12-29$)

Sweat pants(11-19$)

Leggings(6-14$)

SHOES

convers (49.99$-70$)

Chunky shoes(40-80$)

Tall shoes (49-60$)

MAKE UP

eyeliner(1-6$)

Mascara (3-9$)

Concealer (7-12$)

Eye make up(11-20$)

ACCESSORIES

hair bows (8-10$)

Rings(7-20$)

Necklaces(11-20$)

Belts (7-14$)

Bracelets (17-20$)

EXTRAS

Get lip piercing(13-18$ for Jewelry, 50-100$ for just the piercing and around 30$ for jewelry)

Get other side of nose pierced (180$ pretty much)

Maybe eyebrow (30-70$)

Nails(100-150)

Be quiet

ALWAYS have headphones or earbuds(10$ depending on how many I have to buy)

2 friends 3 max (birthday gifts at least 15$)

Ear piercings (30-150$)

Total (without tax or cents)

929.98$

Pick up as many shifts as possible

Nothing other than work for summer

Get tips

Clean great

(11.15$ per hour)

Maximum 8 hours per day to work

40 hours a week 7am-closing is 8 hours depending on staff

89.2$ per day (take away tax 55.75$)

Let’s say I get paid once a week of twice that’s 55.75$ a week if not then 111.5$ plus tips so round 120$ at best. If Rebecca pays me extra out of generosity mostly a 10$ bill

If I save up I can have 929.98$ by the end of month 8, by month 9 I’ll have 1,003.5$

I’ll start with the expensive things

Pants

Shirts

Belts

Nails

Shoes

Etc

2 months I’ll have 111.5$ unless I get paid more often and get a pay raise

i dont even like looking in the mirror anymore. like fr, every time i do, i just find something else to hate. my nose looks weird, my face is too round, my skin is never clear, and dont even get me started on my hair. it’s like the more i grow up, the uglier i get. when i was a kid i didn’t care, i used to smile at my reflection and not think twice. now i just stare at it and feel worse. everyone says “ur beautiful in ur own way” but i dont see it. all i see is someone who’s never gonna be that pretty girl, the one everyone looks at, the one people say wow she’s gorgeous about. and what scares me is that if i already feel this bad about how i look at 16, what am i gonna look like when i’m older? what if it gets worse? what if im one of those ppl who peak in middle school and then just get uglier and older until no one even notices them anymore??

i see girls at school and on insta and they’re all so perfect. like seriously, how do they do it?? their skin glows, their makeup is flawless, even their “casual” outfits look like they came outta a magazine. meanwhile, i look like a potato most days. even when i try to get ready and look nice, i still feel like i dont compare. i’ll take a bunch of selfies and delete all of them. nd then i look at old pics of me from like a year or two ago and i already look diff—and not in a good way. like my face changed and not the way i wanted. nd then i start thinkin like, what if this keeps happening? what if every year i just keep lookin less and less like someone worth looking at? it’s not just about being pretty. it’s about feelin confident. nd i dont feel that at all. i feel like i’m slowly turning into someone invisible.

sometimes i’ll be scrolling and see those “glow up” videos and they just make me wanna cry. like good for them but what if that never happens to me? what if i stay the weird lookin girl with the awkward smile and the body i dont even understand? i feel like people just expect us to grow up and magically turn into these beautiful women, but what if i never do? what if i just stay this unsure, insecure mess forever? i try to tell myself that beauty isn't everything, that what matters is inside, blah blah—but it’s hard when literally everyone is judging everyone based on looks, even if they dont say it out loud. boys don’t talk to me unless it’s for help with homework. girls don’t compliment me the way they do each other. no one says “u look pretty today” to me. so how am i supposed to believe i’m beautiful in the future when i don’t even feel it now?

i kno people change and grow nd maybe i’ll feel better about myself one day, but right now? i’m scared. scared of what i’ll look like when im 20, 25, 30. scared that nothing will change or that it’ll change the wrong way. scared that everyone around me will glow up and move on and be admired while i’m just… there. the girl who could’ve been cute but wasn’t. nd maybe that sounds dumb, but it’s real to me. i just wanna feel pretty one day, like actually believe it without doubting every second. i want to wake up, look in the mirror, and smile for once. maybe that’s too much to ask. but it’s what i want. and i hope, more than anything, that future me isn’t still feeling this way. cuz that would hurt more than anything.

It's currently 8:00 am and i have only about 3-ish hours to study for a big test i didn't study for before. And i feel like an idiot because i wanted to study this before but i've been so tired these days. Lately i've been always tired actually, i don't even know why. But the last few days have been really bad. And i haven't been able to get anything done. I've struggling to get out of bed or do just anything even the things i like. And i feel horrible because It kinda feel like i'm ruining the things i've been working for so far and like i'm falling behind. And i don't know what to do to fix this. And i don't know where to begin because It's all too much It's all too overwhelming. Sometimes i just want to hide under the covers and never get out. I hate this. I'm so tired.

I try so hard in my life my family thinks I am just an lazy girl who does nothing they don't even know me so what's the point that's why I don't tell them shit because they make me bad about myself they don't know how school is for me is hard I was trying to hold not to cry and my dad made me look dumb as hell my mom went all mad at me I try to tell her its hard but she Nevers lisntin to me so I go outside to get me to relax and to chill and not crying it hurts me so bad I just hate myself I hate everything I never ask for anything as a kid it hurt me so bad shit and I cant tell my bf about this because I am really hurt and shit I don't even feel like my old self no more the girl who was so nice and never crys or mad they don't know how much I change now I don't even go out no more I am always get mad I try try over and over nothing changes Ii don't know how to tell them they made me hate myself and make me look so dumb plz help me and I need sum help how to tell them..

i swear i dont even know whats wrong with me anymore. i cant stop thinkin about him like all day all night its just him in my head 24/7. like its drivin me crazy. we aint even talkin anymore but i still keep checkin my phone every 5 mins like maybe he’ll text or like maybe he’s thinkin bout me too (even tho i know he probly not). we was never official official but it felt real to me. we had a connection, the way he looked at me, the way we talked for hours, laughin about dumb stuff. nd now? nothin. just silence. nd it hurts more than i thought it would. like why can’t i just move on like a normal person?? why am i still stuck on someone who don’t even care if i’m breathin or not??

my friends keep tellin me to forget him, to block him, delete the pics, all that. nd i tried. for real. i tried to distract myself, go out more, talk to other ppl, even flirt a lil just to see if i could feel somethin again. but i don’t. its like no one hits the same. i see him everywhere too, like songs remind me of him, certain spots in school feel weird without him there. i even wear that hoodie he let me borrow still, even tho i know it’s dumb. nd the worst part? he moved on like it was nothin. he’s talkin to someone else now and actin like i never mattered. like i was just a phase or some fun thing he did for a bit. nd maybe i was. maybe i made it bigger in my head than it really was. but to me, it felt real. nd now i just feel stupid for fallin so hard.

sometimes i cry at night just thinkin bout what i did wrong. was i too much? not enough? did i scare him off by feelin too deep? i replay convos in my head, thinkin what i coulda said diff, what i coulda changed. nd yeah i kno, i shouldn’t blame myself, but how do u not when someone u gave your heart to just lets it go like it was nothin?? he said things that made me think he cared. he looked at me like i was the only person in the room. he made me feel seen, nd now i feel invisible. like i was only temporary. like i’m just another girl he’ll forget soon.

i just want it to stop. the overthinkin, the dreamin bout him, the way my heart still jumps when i see his name pop up somewhere. i wish i could just shut off the part of my brain that still misses him. that still wants him. but i can’t. he’s stuck in me. nd maybe one day i’ll get over it, maybe someone new will make me forget how bad this hurts, but rn? rn it feels like i’m gonna feel this forever. like he broke somethin in me without even tryin. nd he probly don’t even kno. or care. but i do. nd that’s what sucks the most. cuz even if he don’t feel nothin, i still can't stop thinkin bout him. nd i hate that i still want someone who dont want me.

It just hurts so much, when I got married thought it would be a forever thing. Now sitting alone, in an empty house, just hurting, angry, guilty, lonely.

Me and my now ex husband met online, neither of us looking for anyone. He had just separated from his 1st wife, and me really not needing the drama of a relationship. We chatted for a few years, then finally met up. He lived in another state, and even then we weren't offical another couple of years. Dated for a year, engaged a year, and a little over a decade of marriage all over red rover.

Before we got married I asked him if he was gay, there were "red flags", but he assured me he was not. Decade of practically sexless marriage, saying that he wanted children but always finding reasons to not do what you need to get them.

I'm such a stupid pathetic girl, I can't be mad at him for who he is, but I am so angry. He is out fucking anything with a penis, but faked heart attacks, asma attacks, etc when all i wanted was a baby he said he wanted too.

I'm trying to be happy and perky for those around me, cause people really don't want to hear it.

I've been too ashamed to speak to anyone for many years about what has been happening. it's hence sharing hear.

It’s hard to explain to people without sounding dramatic. From the outside, everything probably looks fine. We’ve been married for eight years, we don’t fight often, we keep the house clean, pay our bills on time, and take care of the kids. But behind all that routine is this empty space between us that keeps getting wider. He’s here, but he’s not really here. My husband is emotionally unavailable, and it feels like I’m married to a shadow. When something upsets me, he doesn’t ask questions. He doesn’t comfort. He just nods or says “Sorry you feel that way,” and moves on like I didn’t just open uup my chest and hand him my heart. I’ve learned to stop expecting warmth. I’ve learned to cry quietly in the bathroom so I don’t make him uncomfortable. And that’s the part that breaks me—how me feeling something seems to bother him more than it bothers me.

I didn’t always notice it this deeply. In the beginning, it was just little things—him brushing off serious conversations, or giving one-word answers when I tried to connect. But back then, I thought maybe he just needed time, that maybe it was hard for him to express himself. He had a rough childhood, he never really saw healthy communication growing up, and I gave him grace for that. Maybe too much grace. I thought love would soften him. I thought my patience would eventually make him feel safe enough to open up. But years passed, and I realized I was building a bridge alone, with no one walking toward me on the other side. Every time I tried to talk about our lack of emotional closeness, he’d say, “I don’t know what you want me to do.” As if connection was a task, and not a part of being in love. I’ve begged for something deeper, and all I get is distance in return.

Now I just feel tired. I feel lonely in a house with someone who promised to be my partner. I scroll through my phone, seeing couples who laugh together, cry together, talk—and I feel like I’m watching life happen from a glass window. I envy people who feel seen. I try to bring it up sometimes, gently, hoping something clicks, but it never does. He shuts down, gets quiet, or changes the subject. I’m not asking for grand romantic speeches or poetry—I just want him to notice me. To feel with me. But it’s like there’s a wall I can’t break, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep knocking. I still love him, but I don’t feel loved in return. And I wonder, often, if this is all marriage will ever be—doing life together, but never really together.

My boss tends to scold me on our workplace group chat. I try to just learn from the experience but it has been challenging because most of the time it is just about little things. I would really appreciate the decorum to just be civil (boss is not saying bad words when im called out) but just scolds me (you can read it in the tone of the message). I do not want to talk to her about it coz I do not want the conflict and she does tend to explode.

so uhh, my friend, (we will call her purple) I love her, and I even got matching bracelets for us, which I NEVER do! and guess what? my other friend (we will call him blue) STARTED DATING HER TODAY. I NEVER TOLD ANYONE I LIKE HER, AND GUESS WHAT? THE ONE I LOVE IS TAKEN FROM MY FRIEND, AND I CANT DO ANYTHIGN ABOUT THAT. ISNT IT GREAT? NO, ITS NOT. IT DOESNT FEEL GOOD, AND NOW IM GONNA HAVE TO LIVE THE NEXT YEARS OF SCHOOL LIKE THIS, KNOWING THAT THE ONE I LOVE IS TAKEN BY MY FRIEND. it hurts. it hurts so much. and I cant do anything about that. and if he ever sees or finds out a bout this, well then I'm sorry. I'm just so depressed knowing that she probably didn't even like me, and liked you instead. I know I sound jelous, or however you say it. but I already had a bad mental state, and this just got worse. #deppressionarc!

God!! I am just so fucking ugly!!! Why is it that I can feel so good about myself one moment and then so terrible the next. Im genuinely on the verge of tearing out my hair. I don’t know how to fucking explain how I feel, I don’t know what to say, my brain feels foggy, I hate whoever that ugly ass slime in the mirror is, and I barely have any friends- the ones that I do have probably have plans to leave me anyways. I don’t know who I am, what I like, what colleges i’m going to go to, what job I want, any of my aspirations. I feel like the little things that I do know about myself aren’t even significant enough to tell people who I really am. I have a sense of my being, but at the same time i’m clueless. I try, I do, but in the end I feel like nothing I do amounts to anything. I feel trapped. I try to do one thing, ope, You’re too ugly to wear that! I try another thing, Sorryy… sucks, but, you are actually retarted and don’t know shit. My skin is constantly breaking out, i’m constantly bloated, I feel fat, my clothes are uncomfortable, I look like a whale, I don’t know how to act around people. I just cannot simply exist without my brain eating at everything I say, do, or look like. Am I give the right impression? Why do I care so much? “Oh just don’t, it’s so easy” i’m sorry but don’t you think i’ve tried?! I’ve tried so hard not to let my view of myself get in the way of how I act, or how I believe people perceive me. I’ve tried so hard i’m so exhausted. I wish I could cut open my arms and let my emotions flood from the wounds and bleed into every written word because nothing I seem to say truly displays how my heart really feels. Probably because i’m not entirely sure myself. I know it’s a problem, i’m sorry, where is my instruction manual to function like the rest of society? Why is it that I feel i’m doing everything wrong and everyone else has it right? Im not just saying my life sucks and everyone else’s is better, but even the people who have it rougher than me, they seem to know how to live life more efficiently. I kind of just feel like i’m floating through space. I know how to avoid the asteroids- I know what to do right, never do anything wrong- but that’s it. I’m just kind of existing while life happens around me. I am not actually enjoying myself. I smile, I laugh, yes genuinely a lot of the time, but after the fact? What do I do? I’m an awkward little inexperienced girl who has no clue about anything. I feel trapped. I want to shut down but at the same time I know I need to go to college, so I do the bare minimum for A’s, knowing damn well that even if I have good grades, act right, play sports, i’m still not doing enough. Nothing is ever going to be enough. I can want to do something that sounds fleeting in the moment but all motivation is lost when my world feels like it’s crashing down around me. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve to like myself. Whatever that means. Whatever any of this means, I truly do not know. I feel like I truly do not know much these days.

Omg, I need to rant because my mind is in absolute **chaos** right now. There's this guy—let's call him **Prince** (and trust me, the name fits because he literally treats me like a princess). Like, I don’t even know what to do anymore because he is **so close and touchy** and I **can't tell if he's just like this with everyone or if I should be reading into it**.

So, Prince is **always** around me. Like, if I’m sitting somewhere, he’ll just casually come over and sit **super close**, to the point where our shoulders are touching. And if I move slightly, he doesn’t even shift away—if anything, I feel like he leans in more. **And don’t even get me started on the way he touches me.** It’s not in a weird way or anything, but he’ll randomly poke my side, rest his arm on my shoulder, or even put his hand on my back when he talks to me. And this isn’t just once or twice—**it’s a pattern**.

And then there’s the way he acts when we’re around other people. He’s always making sure I’m good, asking me if I’ve eaten, helping me with random stuff without me even asking. **He hypes me up all the time, too**—like if I do literally anything, he’ll be like, “See? That’s why you’re amazing.” And then he’ll just **stare at me and smile** like ??? Boy, what do you mean by that???

But here’s the thing—I **don’t know if this is just how he is or if he’s actually giving me signs**. Because when I do stuff, like talk to other guys or even just joke around with my friends, I swear I see him looking. And I mean **really looking**—like I’ll glance at him, and he’ll already be watching, and then he looks away really fast like he wasn’t just analyzing my every move. And when I don’t give him attention, he finds ways to get it. He’ll randomly bring something up just to talk to me or do something dumb to make me laugh.

The worst part?? He’s **so reassuring and supportive.** Like, I could be having the worst day ever, and he just **knows.** He’ll check in, tell me I’m strong, and that I deserve the best. **BRO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT??** He’s so **emotionally present** it’s actually throwing me off. I don’t know if he does this for everyone, but I feel like he treats me **differently.**

So now I’m just sitting here questioning **everything.** Is he **just like this**? Am I overthinking? **Or is he actually dropping hints??** Like, I swear, sometimes it feels like he’s being lowkey flirty, but then I second-guess myself because I don’t want to look dumb. I just don’t know anymore, and it’s driving me crazy.

Someone tell me what this means because I genuinely have no clue. **Prince, what are you trying to tell me?!?**