Parenting And Education Stories

Have you ever wonder what is like to be supported by parents? How they rather be concern about how you feel and not complain or disappointed by the results of the expectations? How they show comfort and understanding for the negativ expectation, and not talking discipline while disappointed over your hard work? Would you rather end the pain or suffer to meet their expectations?

How painful that is. Living in an asian household where parents itself been raised with strict discipline, and we were next victim to it. 20 years of my life, because of this prinsipp of parenting style, it's the reason why i am emotional unstable. No matter how much i really dont want to cry, criticsme i get from other, yelling about my wrongness and anxiety i get, it's the reason why i became.

I am a shy, introverted, social anxious and "keep everything to myself" kinda person. When i learn that i have failed my exam by the second time, i knew what will happend. I knew that they will be disappointed. I knew they will give me the criticsme. I knew they won't give me comfort. And yet.... i was hoping for it for some reason, that they will understand. That they will hug me, help me, comfort me. I hold the result to myself and try to mentally prepare for it. I overthink a lot when i'm anxious and in pain. It's like it slowly turn spiral and give me emotional pain constantly.

I really don't want to think about it, but i can't. When the time to tell my parents, i was in so much emotional pain. Constant scenario played in my head and anxiety grows more and more.

........... I told them ........... What was i hoping again? ............. They are asian, why would i think there would be hope?

I shouldn't expect anything from them. They were disappointed. They were critisme me. They discipline me. "Don't do this, don't do that. Do that and do this. Do better, think better, plan better". Constantly sighing. There were no feeling of comfort. Nor concern. Nor care. There were so much disappointed in their tone, their eyes, their behaviour. It was so painful. Did they ask how i felt? Did they say "It's ok"? Did they comfort by telling me how hard work i tried? Did they gave me hugs? Did they show understanding?...............................

Seriously what did i hope for again?!

Been emotional unstable means for me that i would get emotional, cry when they yell, discipline and misunderstand me angry. "Stay strong" they said. "Criticsme is nothing to cry for" they said. "Crying help nothing" they said. When something like failing exam is a huge disappointment for me and all my hard work for nothing, is painful to think. Why would i not cry? When its hurtful for my sister, why did she get comfort and not me? When she failed the first time, why is it ok for her and not me? Why wouldn't you discipline her?

I couldn't help feeling even more pain.

I really want to complain about their behaviours, but what can i do? Growing up, whenever i speak calm or screaming it's not me, or trying to clear the misunderstanding they have of me, or talking bout how i feel and try to have a conversation, they always turn it into me lying and me not understanding. "Fight back" they said. "Don't let them talk down on you" they said. "Talk back if they wrong you" they said. But when i do, why do they yell and call me lying? When i'm trying to clear their misunderstanding and everything, why are they yelling at me and pointing at me like i'm still in the wrong no matter what?

I learn that no matter what i say, they just turn it against me, pointed wrong in me, using their emotion and "we want the best for you" against me. I never win. What is he point of fighting my right when they just stubbornly point wrong in me?

They always wonder why i never tell them things. I wonder ........ what is the point? No wonder i'm shutting them out.

They mostly don't care about emotion, but results of the expectations.

For now, there is nothing in my heart except for pain. I know later the pain will grow more and more.

...............................................................

What i would say if i could?

"Why would you not comfort me? You know i work so hard and how the exam was so hard, why wouldn't try to comfort me? Why must you always discipline me? I knew you would discipline me, this is why i really don't want to tell you anything! You kept saying how you want the best for me or how you know me! NEWS FLASH! You don't know how i am! How my body is or how my mind is! You don't even know i have social anxiety or stress or other anxiety! You don't know my mental state! I want to know my mental state! Do i have adhd? Depression? Mental unstable? Anxiety? Hypersomnia? I litterly have to diagnose myself for this. You complain constantly i slept too much, i am slow, i cant do shit, how dumb i am. Have you ever consider my mental state is different than you? I sleep long cause my mental state need 10 hours sleep to keep my brain going. I do slow cuz my brain can't get all information all at once while i overthink spiral. I can't do right cuz you only see my wrong. I am not dumb, i am just average and my brain can't handle too much stuff to remember. And yet you never consider to understand me nor to ask about it!

Why won't you comfort me? Why won't you tell me everything is ok? you work hard? you did your best? you tried? Why must you give me pain...?"

I am 17 I'm supposed to be at school right now but my mother is telling me to go to work in foreign country

(I'll be using country 1[ home country] and country 2 [foreign country] for anonymousy)

I'll name myself Pom for anonymousy, before going to country 2.. my mom already started treating us badly, literally a day before the flight my mom pointed a knife at my (little) sister and started hitting her with wood. I went there to shield her as I cried with her, All this because my sister refused to eat something..

In the hotel she acted like nothing happened, even calling us her "baby"

.. Once we stepped foot in country 2 we were greeted by our dad who's smiling. I didn't like it one bit, it gave me chills and those chills were a sign because

After just a few months of being in country 2, there were already shouting and fighting. We don't engage in them they engaged with us. Like the topic was supposed to be my dad's laziness then turned into me and my sisters (2) school expenses.

We got so tired we called the police on them because my father started threatening to break my (middle) sister's bones. Once we got to the police station, their tone changed to something more nice..

Us three looked crazy, fidgeting because we need to have a face to face conversation with them. But when we weren't able to we were asked to go home, because they promised they won't be sleeping in the apartment.

They lied and once we did get to the apartment and the cops were gone they re-entered the apartment and started saying so many bad thing to us.. that's when they said me and my (middle) sister should go back to country 1, like as if we didn't want to but we don't want to leave my (little) sister alone with them when they weren't the ones who would beat her up.

A day after packing, my mom came home and suddenly said "you don't need to go" I thought they would excuse their behavior for being stressed again but no she added "give me 10k" AND I LOOKED AT HER DEADASS. I don't know if I should laugh or not.

Everything died down a little after that, but..

There was a party in the apartment, just a family party one and my father who shouldn't drink started drinking (he was diagnosed with something that prevented him to drink..)

The next day my parents fought and me and my sisters went to a mall with my mom..

Again everything seems fine not until it was 3:20 I woke up from my father's singing. He was drunk again, my mother woke up and told him to shut it off

He didn't listen and said "In a bit I'd get my drugs haha" my mom was furious and asked "What?? Are you gonna grape your children too??" My dad replied "Yes, Mom's name, I will"

I was shaking in my room and texted mom to come inside the room, so he won't come in.. he didn't fortunately

And I asked my mom if we can go away from him just for a few hours and my mom reluctantly agreed. Once the few hours were up though.. and my mom wanted to go home, my father started yelling "Oy!" Repeatedly

Startled me and my sisters rushed outside. We're scared so scared..

After a month the situation has died down, but I feel uneasy.. and scared.

And even more so after my mother kept telling me to just work, because she's tired WELL I AM TOO.

She told me to stop school because im turning 18, well this is their choice.. THEY CHOOSE TO GO TO THIS COUNTRY NOW I GO BACK A GRADE, not because I'm dumb or have low grades I have a 90 on my card. It's because of the school policy.. (part1?)

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I've reached this point of truly feeling the need to feel a knife pass through my arms or what a chokehold might feel like. I think a lot about what would happen? Would they notice or not? That I really needed a little more of my family, my friends, their support, a visit from my dad, and support from my brothers if I were sick and alone with two children. Would the boy I love and who's driving me crazy feel a little more guilt for not listening to me a little more?

I feel like I'm teaching everyone a life lesson.

There are days that go by and by, and I don't receive a single message from anyone asking how I am? How are my daughters?

I am a very determined woman. With a lot of balls, I support everything alone, I raise my daughters, and that's admirable to the outside world because they keep telling me that. But I feel like a failure. I'm not happy. I feel bad about myself because I feel like I could give twice as much and I'd be better, but I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! And you know what's worse, I'm a street vendor and I'm always smiling, I make jokes all the time, sometimes there are days when a lot of people tell me, "I love your good vibes," and I feel good, but when it's time to get home, tired, from cleaning, from cooking, from hearing my daughters screaming, crying, everything dirty, clothes everywhere, animal poop...

That's when I do. I want to die, and it's that feeling of running away and disappearing forever.

I know everyone will think and say, "Think of your daughters!" And if that's why I haven't made the decision yet, but it's something I think about a lot.

I don't need help because I have my psychologist, but I can't bring myself to tell her all this because I'm a woman who's recovered from drugs, and it's embarrassing to tell her that I'm feeling more and more depressed because she saved me from the cesspool I couldn't get out of, and I feel like I'm failing the only person who listens to me.

Well, it's just something I think about every day, but I've never been able to tell anyone about it because I think people who have that thought just do it! And then everyone wonders why?

I used to try to be a good daughter for my parents, but everyday they were sending me to the edge , Im not gonna talk about details from the past ... But now all I can see and understand is that im a worthless piece pf garbage, I've been neglected my whole life , noone ever tries to listen to me or understand me , I always tried to be an easy going person , only for tem to step on me . Ppl always disrespect me at the slightest chance , in ways I would never do , and that hurts me because I try to make ppl feel welcomed and safe , but noone has ever cared about how I feel , or the fact that I have feelings, I dont remember someone asking me "are you alright" , I've been going through intense depression since i was 13 (im 19 now) , but I never done smth to deserve all the hate I get from my family , I tried to be a good person and neglected myself for that , I never go out , only to school ,never cause problems or anything , and on top of that "used" to have the best grade in my class every year , but never made me feel like I did smth good , I always wanted to hear my dad say smth nice or call me "daughter" but he never did . Now back to the present, i forgot to talk about abuse , but I've been and still get verbally and physically abused by both my parents, it's so ironic how mu dad who cant say "daughter" doesn't hesitate to call me a bitch for no reason , he who never hugged me , doesn't hesitate to hit me with metal objects and leave bruises on my skin for weeks , I just tried ... And tried to understand what i did but never knew , i feel like im going to explode, It's not fair , Im a good prsn , I tried my best , but everyone hates me , I dont know what i did , why are they treating me like this , is it because im always depressed ? Because i dont laugh or cheer up ? How is this my fault? Im both mentally and physically sick because of these ppl , thwy arch to see me fall and never get up , they wante to depend on them so they can easily let me down and break me , i just want for my dad and mo to stop hitting me this bad , and to stop cursing at me and wishing me death every single day . I never asked to be born

My daughter is just over a year and I am a SAHM right now. She has been having a really rough go lately and just wants to be clung to me 24/7. I love her and the cuddles but I can’t get anything done when I try to leave the room and she screams and cries. When she is in the same room she’s trying to climb my legs or stand in front of me so it makes cooking and cleaning a challenge. I sometimes put her in the carrier and wear her on my front but she is heavy so I can’t do it for too long. I know this will pass and she is probably just getting sick or teething again but I am just so worn out. When I try to express this to my partner he sees it as oh I’m home all day it can’t be that bad. I understand he works long hours but that just makes me feel undervalued and invalidated

I finally passes out highschool and there's like a common exam in my country where over 10k people give exams every year for college entrance. People get to study at respective colleges in respective fields acc to the rank they obtain and I just made so many stupid mistakes on my exam and I just feel so hopeless. I've really wanted to get into my dream college and over the months I know there were so many times I slacked off but at the same time I studied, I made efforts. I'd take 3-4 hour classes in the morning, try to study at home and take 4 hour online class at night. Though I didn't pay attention alot in online class and some physical classes and didn't study some days, there were days I made effort, paid attention to class and my results will be here tomorrow and I just feel so shit. I became so demotivated during my last moment and got distracted and ended up studying nothing even though I've always wanted to make efforts..... I just hate it I hate it so much, I feel like I'm the only one who did my exam shit. I feel so shit and I really want to give up. This means alot to me really, people just take this as a light joke but to me it means so much so much to the point I feel like running away and giving up. What about my efforts that I made, why does it have to go to waste. Why is life so unfair, I just want to be happy, it just sucks so bad right now.... I really feel like giving up........

I don't understand how I ended up alone, without a girlfriend, friends, or even family. I have no one to turn to for my life. I keep everything to myself.

No one calls me to find out how I'm doing, where I am, or what I'm doing, or to show interest. It's because of my father, but it's not the same. I don't maintain any relationship structure.

My life in relationships ended in complete disaster. I've even tasted sex, even a courtship. It's been a long time since I kissed a girl; I barely kissed her, and it was only briefly when I was in my early teens, and it was purely a dare.

No girl has ever been interested in me, or even wanted to have something more with me. I can't believe I haven't been attractive to anyone. I also can't believe no one has wanted to be my friend.

I even have a job worthy of respect from others. It's a public one, too. I don't practice my career; I gave it up. I have no basis for this life in the midst of this capitalism.

Without contact, without a boyfriend, without a family, or a career, I'm at the mercy of a current where I can't transcend. I admit it, I got rid of everything because I wanted to start over.

I had superficial relationships, I didn't like my career, dating seemed like something I wasn't ready for, and the connections I had were fraudulent. My father doesn't help me at all because his line is precisely to return to that old life.

Right now, when I feel more prepared than ever to start over, I can't do it. I feel like the system isn't prepared for people who want to start a new life.

I don't know where I'm going to get friends, a girlfriend, contacts, and even restart a career, without an environment that doesn't support me but rather harms me as a father, only making me unstable when it comes to this new goal, if I set it.

I feel like my father is one of my main problems, and I have a strong desire to slam the door in his face, no matter what. I can't start my life if I don't start from scratch. He's the only one who prevents me from doing so, but starting from scratch would also mean losing the financial support he provides.

This isn't easy. With everything else destroyed, and wanting to start slowly, I can't because there's someone, my father, who wants me to recover that. It's the last straw. I wish I hadn't lived the life I chose under disastrous principles. It's not fair that starting over is complicated. I admit that sometimes I feel like going back to the way things were before. There was progress and a certain foresight about what would happen with everything.

Now that I'm going against the grain, nothing is ever predictable. The culture doesn't support me at all. I swear, I wish I could give up many times. However, I feel like the only path left for me is to manage by distancing myself from everyone and maintaining it. Under these conditions, if I want to start over, have some support, and gradually build my life, the best thing is to be alone, to start from there, from that axis, and progress along it, avoiding leaving, consolidating that it is the path, the foundation, to rebuild my life.

In the midst of everything, being alone allows you not to look to others, to that other part of yourself, that you seek to give in to, and that you seek out in itself, precisely because you want to rest. I would like to find someone who can support me on this journey and who can also support my father or my family, as they have also been factors that have served to unify those around me against me, against the path I want to follow.

Being alone, as I say, implies both maintenance and effort, through constant introspection, and this system is not designed to ensure this, but to advance at its own pace, according to a bureaucracy. I fear that they won't be able to cope with each other and I'll end up falling along the way. This introspection is the only thing that has kept me grounded in my ideals.

I sometimes feel like I don't know how to communicate with others in a way that isn't complex for them, and it results in rejection, given that it seems unnecessary. For me, it's necessary, but such constant rejection makes me feel that my need to be this way can't be satisfied. I'm left wondering, "Where is there someone who can receive my discourses?"

Indeed, there must be someone who enjoys such discourses, just as there must be someone who enjoys generating them. When it comes to speaking, I enjoy complexity precisely to discern more between the words and thus have more tools to discern my life and my past. Indeed, there is a message for another; however, there is a part that is being used for myself. Although if I see this, we can say that I am falling into a decentering focus on the individual, and that is certainly just what others complain about. Ultimately, what it's about is that when we address another, the message to be conveyed must be configured according to the other; otherwise, we will be acting, in this case, towards something to which there is no openness.

It has been difficult for me to come to these conclusions. I feel extremely hurt that I don't feel I can handle a psychotherapist who can support me in raising awareness in the social sphere. When I tried, it only resulted in my perceptions being suspect and a search for me to somehow submit to the fact on this issue, even though the element itself was evidence that this was the case. In effect, we're talking about pressure to succumb and thus maintain a vision given by the therapist, or at least on the terms the therapist liked. I can understand why I looked for ways to discredit any authority and consequently dismiss the individual.

My current therapist doesn't allow me to develop ideas. Instead, in the areas where I find refuge, he pleasantly seeks to bring me out in a non-progressive way, simply by breaking in and giving direction, rather than me. I always felt he was a closed-off person, and the conditions under which we had psychotherapy were also restrictive for me, precisely because of the short sessions. This was contrary to what he initially recommended, which was to satisfy my need to feel heard.

In this sense, I weep deeply. I weep for not having a psychotherapist who could help me visualize these elements, or at least someone who would allow me to do so, at least in a way that would make me realize and consequently allow me to develop according to my own means. The issue with people who have sought to develop according to their own means has resulted in setting limits on development, or in other words, in a sad framing. Asking for help or support for myself has simply resulted in mistreatment. With the first psychotherapist I mentioned, I felt that my accusations weren't taken seriously, and those that were were only temporary.

In this case, both from ordinary people and from psychotherapists, I've felt that they can't support me, which in itself has resulted in a kind of divine condemnation given the circumstances in which I was raised and they found who I am, which in itself only generated problems in escalating ways, so much so that they alienated everyone. The most horrifying thing for me is that I didn't choose those circumstances, so such condemnation is unfair, and it's also due to simple chance. It's feeling that you're not welcome for reasons beyond your control, and that no one can do anything about it, and those who say they are only result in an exercise of dominance that, although not sought, goes against my individual spirit, which is what counts when it comes to unfolding in the world and, of course, achieving comfort.

My point is that I feel alone on this path of raising awareness, when I observe that many of you have friends who allow accusations—well, at least that's what they've given me. Perhaps what I've observed is that such accusations are nothing more than the deviation of a certain profile in a given circumstance. This reinforces my idea of ​​being alone, given that I can't find any support for myself. I have to admit it: I feel alone on this path of being in the world, amidst my difficulties. On the other hand, it's difficult to draw a specific conclusion, because the fact that I manage to immerse myself in my feelings, allowing a free development of letters, albeit with apparent directions, although not definitive, speaks in itself of accompaniment on my part through this path of darkness.

Of course, the latter is something that isn't usually valued as standard, at least in this culture eager for socialization and anxious escape from loneliness, so such recognition was an effort on my part to achieve Guir, which in this case is just the right thing to accompany me on another adventure to visualize myself as I am. Reaching me is a difficult task along paths that seem quite strange due to the stretches they pass through, which are also unexpected, the driving force being only a simple pressure on the head and the search for its satisfaction. However, the fact that I appreciate these letters and at the same time unfold them speaks of me as an individual within myself and that I am interested in myself. It is precisely this dyad that allows for the journey and, of course, an indisputable consolidation, because all journeys are based on a clear and circumscribed delimitation within a context, and precisely the latter is what connects with other delimitations. This dyad is what allows for surprise, appreciation, and at the same time effort, it being the retreat from these that allows for this consolidation.

I have gone deep, as some would say; however, I feel this allows me to enter into context with the various situations that occur within me and that allow me to anchor myself to this journey. Sensations definitely go beyond being elements that define a particular social situation, given that they are rooted in the elements captured. Rather, they are a signal toward what we need to consolidate and that is in line with the moment because, amidst the circumstances they involve, they result in a satisfaction that makes a difference and, consequently, a change in me, in the way I experience them.

This brings me back to the doctor's experience, where the very thing we're talking about is sensations. Indeed, when communicating them, it is advisable to describe them, but based on categories that can allow the professional to concretely interpret what is happening in our body. Sensations themselves do not follow a universal format; it is advisable to use formats that are consistent with the reference and can be understood by others, because otherwise, we can fall into unconscious dismissals on the part of others and consequently carry out actions that are quite disconnected from the situation to which they refer. However, to actually achieve this, I first had to endure being told that I don't know how to express what I feel, and that the conversation was with a third party. Therefore, the character, besides being a busybody, also had the right words for every sensation, which makes him narcissistic. This is one of the things that makes him feel unwelcome in a home, to the point of abandoning the characters.

I undoubtedly learned a valuable lesson about communicating with doctors and others, but with that character, I also learned that I held back my way of expressing myself, and that because it wasn't understandable to him, it was censored. This led to my not knowing how to express myself when it came to something I didn't know how to put into words, or the fear of being considered as such. In itself, this speaks to an environment that doesn't prevent me from approaching the world beyond what they already know.

I’m done with my life. The academic session began in April, and my exams are scheduled for the end of January. Right now, August is already halfway over—it’s the 20th today—and I feel like I’ve fallen far behind. Most of my classmates are ahead of me, while I struggle to understand anything in class. It feels as if I’ve been dropped into a higher grade where I don’t belong. Everything seems beyond my grasp.

It stings to see my peers following along with ease while I just sit there, staring at the blackboard in confusion. I was never like this before. For the first time in my life, I feel lost in class. This is 10th grade, and I feel trapped, unable to move forward, constantly pulled away by distractions.

My laptop, which should be helping me study, has become my biggest enemy. Social media, random motivational YouTube videos, anime content, Instagram scrolling, venting to strangers online for attention, even sleeping after school—these habits are dragging me down. I thought my relationship with a classmate was a distraction too, so I distanced myself from her. But even after cutting off contact, nothing changed. I can’t blame her anymore—this is my own battle.

I barely scraped through the first unit tests with poor grades, cramming the night before exams. If I’m honest, I haven’t properly finished a single chapter to the point where I could confidently answer questions from it. I’m still procrastinating every day. On top of that, I struggle with the habit of watching porn, which only makes me feel weaker and more paralyzed.

I know what’s happening to me, but I don’t act on it. It feels like I’m waiting for some dramatic “rock bottom” moment—like in movies where the main character suddenly rises to the top after hitting their lowest point. But in real life, that moment never comes. Time just keeps slipping away.

Part of me dreams of becoming the top student in class, but right now it feels more like a fantasy than a real possibility. Even if I somehow worked hard, gave my all, and fought through every distraction, I know people wouldn’t see the effort behind it. They’d assume I succeeded easily, because I’ve always been considered a “good student.” That’s why I sometimes feel the need to tell my classmates about my struggles, as if my poor marks in the first unit test are proof of where I really stand.

But the truth is, I’m still waiting for something outside of me to change my situation, even though I know nothing magical is going to happen. My parents keep scolding me and comparing me to others, which only makes me feel worse. I want to rise to the top of the class, but right now, it feels impossible.

Yea that's right. I feel like dying in my family. No one understands me. My mother has constantly abused me, beaten me up, given me so many bruises ever since I was young. I got headfalls. I used to get burnt with spoons heated on stoves when I was young. If I would ever talk about going out, like playing outside, or asking them for something to eat or anything, I would constantly get beaten up. My dad would never do anything. He would just stand there on a corner and say, bear with it, as if he's consenting to whatever is happening to me right now with my mother. It has always made me feel like I don't belong here. They just gave birth to me for the sake of it, for producing a child and to compete with the family. Ever since I was young, I used to get beaten up every single day for the most childish reasons. One time, I went to school and came back and didn't study and said that I'm going to go out and play and didn't come back for after the, you know, curfew time. My mother just locked me up outside for like half an hour and I just got so scared and anxious because she used to say that, she used to threaten me that people would rape me, that men would kidnap me and rape me when I was that young. I was like in fourth grade. Imagine saying that to a fourth grader, let alone your own child. It just broke me. Completely. I got extremely tired of staying here. Now I finally have the chance of moving out this country itself, if i won't get it, idk what i might do to myself.

As I write this, I'm a junior in high school. Already I'm going through a lot and I've been through a lot in life. Tonight is like any other night of mine, except I'm sat in bed, typing away on my laptop on this site where I can talk about my feelings and experiences. I'm not even sure what to talk about, but I have so much to say. There are so many things I worry about in life, yet there are so many other things I appreciate about life. Hell, I don't know where I'm going with this, my thoughts are all over the place. I guess for starters, 2 days ago, me and my mum got into an argument. It was over something stupid but it eventually escalated to tears being shed, my tears, specifically. I don't wish to go into detail, but safe to say we were both just stressed at that moment. But ever since then, we've been distant. Our text messages are dry and there's no love in them. I just don't know how to fix this. School life isn't any better either. Gosh, I just want to get out. The boys in my class make fun of me for god knows what, the girls are annoying and are all the same with that slick back hair and loud humour, learning and studying is just exhausting, and overall it isn't so well. Yeah, I have friends, but even then I feel like I'm lonely. I've considered that maybe I'm the problem, and yeah, maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, I hate it all. I just don't know why I'm the victim of those boys' shallow jokes and entertainment. Is it really that funny when you kick and throw a ball at my face? Is it really that funny when I'm speaking aloud for the class? Is it really that funny when I actually laugh and smile with my only friend in the class? And oh, it's always "boys will be boys", as if that reassures me at all. I guess you could say that's my pet peeve. But anyway, I just wanna get through my life, why is it me who they wanna make fun of? What did I do to deserve that? Maybe they hurt me because I'm just different from them. I have a lazy eye, I'm the only girl in the class with short hair, I'm not the prettiest of all and I certainly am not the loudest. But what's so wrong with that? Yes, I have a few things about me that are different from you, but is that supposed to excuse your actions? Everyone's different, everyone's born differently, everyone is their own individual and that's beautiful. And to take that individuality and toy it around like it's nothing? You are truly just pathetic. Shallow people will be the death of me and I am sure of it. The boys in my class are living proof of that. I just hate how so many people don't wanna even try to understand someones or somethings point of view or feelings, worse if they completely disregard it and/or laugh at it. Maybe in another universe, they would be better. Or maybe, in another universe, I just didn't care.

when I was 9 I started doing sh, My dad kept comparing me to others, making jokes about my appearance, and saying rude things to me. He has anger issues and keeps threatening to punch me, slap me, or cut off a limb or two to keep me from leaving the house when I make him angry. I was tired of him at the age of 9 so I started to do self-harm as a way of punishing myself and coping, I couldn't talk to my parents. I don't trust them, when I decided to do sh I cut the front of my arm and it's back until it reached my elbows. I remember crying and wishing that if I told a my dad or mom, they'd comfort me instead of thinking that something was wrong with me. my dad eventually found out when I was 10 and he took pictures and sent them to my other relatives and I felt humiliated, he asked me why I did it as if the way he treated me wasn't enough for him to connect everything so I lied about the reason. after he found out I stopped for a few months and he and my mom never said anything to me, just why and what did I use? he never confronted me or tried to comfort me. neither did my mom, I've been clean for a year and 19 days now but I've been getting urges again. my dad still threatens me like that and sometimes he Pretends to choke me and shake me with his hands around my neck as a joke and I feel uncomfortable, but I can't bring myself to say that since he'll think im just playing along. I love my parents, but sometimes I wonder if they even want me here.

I'm 39 and feeling like I'm drowning; it's just been too much lately. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I'm running a marathon with no finish line in sight. My husband? He's there physically, but that's about it. It's like living with a ghost. When did life become so exhausting?

Every morning, I gear up to tackle the chaos. My kids, they're the light of my life, but man, they can be a handful. School lunches, homework, tantrums - it's never-ending. Do you ever feel like you're on autopilot, juggling so much that you can't catch your breath? My husband's in his own world, and I can't remember the last time we had an actual conversation. It's like talking to a wall most days.

At home, I'm doing the all-nighter thing without the party vibes. Laundry, dishes, cleaning up messes, and running after the kiddos... Oh, and did I mention working too? Sometimes I stare at the ceiling, wondering if this is it. Is this what adulting is all about? I try to stay hopeful, but it feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Self-care? That ship sailed a while ago.

I've tried to talk to him, but it's like we're speaking different languages. How do you get through to someone who doesn't seem to care? It's like he's on a permanent vacation from our life. I just want him to notice me, help out a little. It's not too much to ask, right? Sometimes a hug or a simple "How was your day?" would mean the world. Emojis can't solve everything, but 😢 sums it up pretty well.

Still, I tell myself it won't always be like this. Kids grow up, things change. It's just a stormy phase, and I'll come out the other side stronger. I hold onto that hope like a lifeline. Anyone else feeling something similar? Let's hang in there. Life has a funny way of turning things around when you least expect it. I'm ready for that silver lining.

I don't know if I am being too dramatic about it or not, but today for the first time my mom is not at home and its just me and my father. She has gone to meet her cousins for a few days. I don't know but there is a strange silence in the entire house. I was mostly alone at home throughout the day and its hitting me so hard that its her presence that makes this house, home. And now when she's not here, it feels like my home is missing. I don't know if its because my periods are due or I am actually sad, but its not even 24 hours and I have already cried multiple times. I wasn't living at home for the past 6 years because of college so I didn't really realise her absence much but I don't know I am feeling very guilty about not spending enough time with her when she's at home. She's busy with her work and I am mostly at my own. I really regret not spending much time with her. And who knows how much time do I have left with her. I'm just overthinking about it but life is so unpredictable.

I'm 16 and my mom has been telling me to kill myself. I might as well consider it. There is no point in anything I really want things to end.

But despite every curse from this fuckass universe,

I want to know how it feels like to grow up and live

I want to know it feels like to NOT feel like this

I still want to watch new seasons of my favourite shows

I still want to taste flavours which Ive never tried

I still want to read many books

And i still want to watch my little siblings grow

If i die now,

I will be selfish enough to not consider the well being of my siblings

Maybe I'll be more of a burden, only dead

Maybe i will be cursed till the depths of hell for all the money i made them waste on me.

No matter what, i just know that i never wanted any of this

I just wish my parents were more than the title itself