Love Stories

[Translated from French. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

So it all started a year ago when I met my ex-boyfriend online. We started going out after only a few days and became a long-distance couple. At first everything was going well, but at around 6 months into the relationship, he started talking to me about sex, which I wasn’t against, but it was kind of at the limit of what felt reasonable. Then things sped up until we were sending pictures and calling each other on video.

Later on I met some friends, but you should know my ex was very obsessed with me and manipulative and controlling. So I wasn’t allowed to wear what I wanted or have guy friends, and the friends I had met were a big group of guys. In that group there was one boy, pretty ordinary and nerdy, geeky, who didn’t stand out, and I fell in love with him.

So one night I decided to leave my ex by blocking him everywhere without any explanation, and that’s how I ended up single. With my friends we had so much fun, we were a big group, but we also had a smaller group of 4: two girls including me, and two boys including the boy I like. But he was a friend before anything else. We got closer, and I told my friends who the boy I liked was, but at the same time I got closer to that boy and realized it was better to have him as a friend and nothing more, because he was still another toxic guy who was better kept only as a friend.

Especially because he had gotten more popular since we became friends, and he liked another girl. He had even told me about it, but that girl is not good. Like I said, I had told my friends who I liked, and two of them wanted to help me. One of them sent a message to the boy saying the girl he liked was bad and that he knew a girl who liked him and was better.

Then that same evening I call this boy, who is my friend, and we talk normally. Then he tells me that this friend had talked to him, but what I didn’t know is that he had told him to join a call where he would say who the girl who liked him was.

After the call, I send a message to the two boys telling them I’m against the idea of telling him, and they defend themselves and then say they’re going to call him to convince him not to like the girl he likes. A bit later they send me a message saying he made a list of 4 girls he didn’t want to date, and I was in it. So then my two friends tell me they can tell him now because I have nothing left to lose. So they tell him, and his reaction is to say “ohh” in a disappointed way after finding that out, and then he said it would’ve been better if he hadn’t known.

Then the two boys admit to me that they knew from the start it would never work and that it was just entertainment. And then they added me to the group with the boy and called me again, again just for entertainment, and I didn’t join. So there you go, I’m mad at them, but at the same time they’re my friends. And I’d like to have a conversation with the boy because I want us to stay friends, but I haven’t talked to them anymore since then.

Oh and also, a little before that, I unblocked my ex because I felt bad, and also my two former best friends. But my ex wanted to get back together with me while I only wanted sex, and I’m tired of men. I feel like I want to be loved but I don’t want to be in a relationship. I want flirting, but I don’t want the guy to not be only mine. I like it when they’re obsessed, but at the same time it annoys me.

I don’t know how to find what I want and someone who agrees with it.

So yeah, if you read all the way to here, I’m grateful, and if you have any advice I’d be happy to hear it.

I just an account of females in my husband IG. I just thought to myself If I kept single over all the years I wont be this i secure or bothered. My doctor is right when she told me to keep myself single until I haven't resolved my trauma.

I can't f##king sleep as every time I try and sleep I end up having a bad dream ether about my nan or about what it feels like to die or to be dieing myself and the iner exsprances and the external exsprances that happen to you when you are dieing and I wake up from these dreams and end up having a panic attack.

please tell me it gets easier over time because I don't know how much longer I can put up with this for.

when I'm in the dreams it also feels like I'm being strangled by someone and I can't breathe.

I've been mulling over something for quite some time, and I'd love to get some perspective. There's this guy at university, let's call him Alex, who I can't help but feel drawn to. We have several classes together, and over time, I've noticed subtle signs that he might be interested in me too. You know, those fleeting glances across the lecture hall, the lingering smiles, and the undeniable chemistry during group discussions. Yet, despite all these suggestive signals, he hasn't taken the leap to ask me out. And it leaves me in a swirl of confusion and second-guessing.

Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but the way we interact is hard to ignore. For instance, there's this palpable energy when we talk – a kind of intensity that's not usual for just friends or acquaintances. We engage in deep conversations about our courses, dissecting the nuances in the curriculum and sharing our ambitions. It's not uncommon for us to exchange study notes, offering insights and perspectives that strengthen our mutual understanding. He's attentive, remembering small details I mention in passing, which only adds to my contemplation of his intentions. But then I wonder, why hasn't he asked me out if he feels the same?

One possibility that crosses my mind is that maybe he values our academic camaraderie too much to risk it by diving into a romantic relationship. There's always that fear of potentially altering the dynamics if things don't work out, right? It could be that he's prioritizing his studies, perhaps overwhelmed with the workload and conscious of not allowing personal matters to interfere with his progress. University life is demanding, with assignments, exams, and the pressure to maintain grades continually looming. Perhaps he feels that introducing romance would only complicate things.

There’s also the chance that he might be shy or uncertain about my feelings. Could it be that he’s just as insecure as I am? It's easy to misinterpret signals or doubt one's own perceptions, especially when emotions are involved. Social dynamics are complex, often requiring immense courage to navigate, particularly in a setting as public and scrutinizing as a university. I often ask myself if he is hesitant due to previous experiences or even advice he's received from friends, urging caution and patience. It makes me question whether making a move myself might alter his perspective, but societal norms often trap me in the conventional expectation that he should be the one to take the first step.

Of course, there's the possibility that I'm mistaken entirely, that I could be misreading his kindness and genuine nature for something more. This self-doubt seems to simmer beneath the surface, fostering a myriad of restless thoughts. Could it be that he's simply not interested, and I'm clinging to a narrative that isn't there? I've wrestled with this uncertainty for weeks now, hoping for a clear sign or moment that might offer resolution. Yet, the ambiguity remains, leaving me pondering and questioning how to navigate this realm of unspoken emotions. Can anybody relate to this predicament?

Basically, i liked this guy ever since middle school and he recently asked me out! Good right? NO! I have this problem where when someone likes me back i try to find things that are bad about them, like hes not even that cute nor is he unique. And when we do break up, i end up feeling sad bcz i really liked the person but i also feel relieved?? I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON HELP ME PLESS

Now we've had my Nan's funeral I've gone from feeling numb and depressed to feeling

every think all at one and crying and not being able to each any of my favorite TV shows.

dose it ever get better

I thought it would never happen. I've heard stories of people falling for straight guys, straight girls, everything. but I was like, "You know, I'm not friends with any straight girls. I should be fine!"

But then, this semester, I sat next to her in biology. We exchanged polite smiles, nothing more. Then we started to talk a bit. Then we started talking about exes, guys we liked and didn't like, that sort of thing. She knows I'm not straight. I don't know her sexuality for sure, but she's kind of one of those girls where you can just TELL she's straight.

I don't know why I like her. She's really pretty, and funny, and nice, and she's the sweetest person. But... she likes guys. I'm nonbinary, for context, although she doesn't know that lol

someone help me please, I need to get over her but idk how...

it has been two months since we broke up. i still think about him every day. i wake up and his name is just there in my head. i wonder if he does the same?? does he pause when he hears a song we liked?? does he look at old pictures and feel that small ache too?? i try to stay calm about it. we ended things for real reasons. we both needed space. that is a fact. but feelings do not follow rules. sometimes i replay our last talk. i ask myself if he misses my laugh or the way i made coffee too strong. is it silly to hope he thinks of me at night?? i am not angry. just curious. just human. i keep telling myself that if i still care, maybe he cares a little too;

i cannot forget him yet. that is just the truth. i go out with friends. i work. i smile. life moves. but there is this quiet space where he used to be. do you ever feel that?? like someone left but their shadow stayed?? i do not stalk him. i do not text. i respect the break. that feels mature. still, when my phone lights up, i look fast. maybe it is him!! it never is, but hope is stubborn. i think time will soften this. i believe people who shared something real do not just erase each other. maybe he wonders about me on random days. maybe he smiles at a memory and keeps walking. that idea makes me feel calm. what if he is healing too?? what if we both are growing, even apart?? i choose to see it that way. it hurts a bit, yes. but it also feels warm. like something good existed. and maybe that is enough for now.

I keep circling the same stupid question at 2 a.m.: am I pansexual, or am I just bored and confused? I’ve dated guys. I’ve hooked up with a girl once. I’ve had a crush on a nonbinary friend and felt zero need to label it. I didn’t care what they had in their pants. I cared that they were funny and smelled good and made me feel seen. That sounds “pan,” right? But then I hear people say, “Don’t rush to label yourself,” and I roll my eyes. Easy for you to say. You’re not the one staring at your phone wondering why your algorithm is half thirst traps of men and half soft masc lesbians. 🙃 I grew up hearing “you’re either straight or gay,” and anything else was “a phase.” So now I’m stuck interrogating myself like I’m on trial. Am I just attention-seeking? Am I trying to be special? Or am I finally admitting what’s been obvious since high school when I said, “I don’t care about gender, I just like people,” and everyone laughed?

Here’s the thing. I don’t feel a preference most of the time. Attraction just happens. A coworker smiles. A barista flirts. A friend touches my arm and suddenly my brain short-circuits. Gender feels secondary. But then I overthink it. Because sometimes I do lean toward men. Sometimes I fantasize about women more. And sometimes I just want whoever treats me like a human being and not a project. Does that inconsistency cancel the label? Or is that literally what being pan means? I’ve read definitions. “Attraction regardless of gender.” Okay. Cool. That fits. But then someone says, “Pansexuality is just bisexuality with a new name,” and suddenly I’m spiraling. I don’t want to disrespect anyone. I don’t want to invade a space that isn’t mine. I also don’t want to lie to myself. I remember sitting on my friend’s couch last year, drunk, saying, “I think I could date anyone if the vibe is right.” They shrugged and said, “That sounds pretty pan to me.” I laughed it off. But it stuck. I think about the girl I kissed at a party. It wasn’t for male attention. There were no guys around. It was just heat and curiosity and real desire. I think about the nonbinary person I almost dated. I didn’t once question their identity. I just wanted them. Isn’t that the point? Or am I just overcomplicating something that could be simple? Tell me honestly, if you’ve felt this too, did you ever get a clear answer? Or did you just wake up one day and say, “Screw it, this is who I am”?

I’m tired of policing my own thoughts. I’m tired of thinking I need a committee to approve my feelings. I’m definately attracted to people beyond just one gender. That’s real. That’s not a trend. I’ve tried ignoring it. I’ve tried saying “I’m straight, mostly.” That felt like lying. I’ve tried saying “maybe bi?” That felt close but not exact. Pan feels right in my mouth. It feels honest. But I’m scared of being wrong. Scared someone will say, “You’re not queer enough.” Scared someone else will say, “You’re just confused.” Both sides can be brutal. And yeah, sometimes I get defensive. Because why does anyone else get to decide what my attraction means? Why is it such a big damn deal? If I like a person, I like them. Period. I don’t check their gender like it’s a box on a form. But I also don’t want to slap on a label just because it sounds progressive. I want it to be true. I guess that’s where I’m at. Not seeking validation, but also kind of seeking it. Not confused about who I’m attracted to, but confused about what to call it. So I’ll ask you straight up: if you don’t prioritize gender in attraction, if you’ve fallen for different genders without it feeling like a category shift, what would you call yourself? And why does it feel like such a huge thing to admit out loud? Maybe the answer is simple and I’m being dramatic. Or maybe this is just part of figuring myself out. Either way, I’m done pretending the question isn’t there. It is. And it’s loud. 😐

I yearn for ppl but i ruin everything unknowingly myself. everyone leaves me. atp idon deserve anyone, i ruin everything. I'm a literal baggage to everyone around me. i should just stop expecting anything coz I'm gonna sabotage myself. I'm a total brainfuck.

so, I'm a 21-year-old guy at uni, right? and I already know I'm gay. I've figured that part out. but here's the thing: I can't really tell if other people are gay too. like, is there a secret sign or something I'm missing? I mean, people throw around stereotypes, and sure, they might give a hint sometimes, but it's not really reliable, you know? some dudes dress really nicely and take care of themselves, but that doesn't always mean they're gay. and then there's the whole voice thing. people say if a guy has a certain kind of voice, it might mean he's gay, but I've heard all kinds of voices, and it's just confusing, man. people are all different, and you can't put them in boxes just like that.

being at uni doesn't make it easier, though. I mean, everyone is like, super diverse and from all places, so there's this melting pot of cultures and personalities. it's like, you walk into a lecture, and there's a rainbow of identities, but at the same time, it gets difficult to just ask someone point-blank if they're gay. it's like an unspoken rule or something, to not just start a conversation with, "hey, are you gay?" unless you're in a setting where that's a normal question to ask; but mostly, it's kinda awkward. and let's face it, people might get the wrong idea or get offended, and that's not cool. so, it's more about picking up small clues and stuff, but how do you even figure those out when everyone's just doing their own thing?

if you've ever thought about this, you're probably wondering the same stuff. like, do you wait for them to say something, or do you drop hints yourself and see how they respond? I guess part of it is just being open to conversations and respecting boundaries. it's about being chill and not jumping to conclusions based on first impressions. maybe it's just better to let people reveal themselves at their own pace. have you ever noticed when someone casually mentions a partner and doesn't specify a gender? that might be a soft clue, but again, who knows? at the end of the day, everyone will just reveal what they want when they're comfortable, and it's all good.

i am a girl with a problem that feels basic and annoying, and i hate how predictable it makes me look. i have a biiiig crush on my best friend, the kind that leaks into every interaction like a system failure you can’t debug. we talk every day, share meals, share silence, share the boring logistics of life, and my brain keeps running a risk assessment that always ends in the same useless conclusion. i monitor my tone, manage boundaries, and pretend this is just normal friendship maintenance, when really it is emotional labor i never agreed to. the attachment feels asymmetrical, like i am over-invested in an asset with zero guarantees, and i am aware of it in a cold, technical way. i can label the feeling, map the triggers, and still not shut it down. i hate that i replay conversations for signal-to-noise ratio, searching for proof that i am not delusional. i hate that i am this careful, becuase careful people don’t fall this hard, or so i thought.

the worst part is that nothing is actually wrong, which makes it harder to justify my irritation. she is kind, consistent, and emotionally literate, which somehow makes the situation worse. there is no villain, just me quietly failing at self regulation. sometimes i catch myself acting like a product manager of my own feelings, prioritizing features like closeness while postponing the obvious bug fix. i keep thinking i can optimize my behavior, that if i tweak the inputs i will get a different output, but that is not how humans work. i know the standard advice about communication and honesty, and i know the potential fallout, and my brain runs through the scenarios like a compliance checklist. i don’t want to contaminate the friendship pipeline, but i also don’t want to keep investing in something that is draining my bandwidth. i feel stupid for wanting more, and i feel rude for resenting her for not magically knowing, which is unfair and definately on me.

so here i am, venting like this is a controlled environment instead of a mess. i keep things factual, almost clinical, to avoid admitting how much it hurts. i don’t romanticize it, i don’t write poems, i just log the data and feel tired. part of me wants to disclose and accept the consequences, part of me wants to de-escalate and reclaim my autonomy, and both options look bad on paper. i wonder if this is just an attachment style issue or if i am ignoring a clear internal warning. i don’t know how long i can keep pretending that my best friend is not the central variable in my emotional equation, and i am starting to feel a little bitter about it 😐. have you ever stayed silent in a friendship like this and called it maturity, when maybe it was just fear and alot of avoidance dressed up as logic?

I'm really struggling with my mental health at the moment and with my man's funeral in the next 2 weeks I'm feeling so low numb and depressed. on so many actions lately I've wanted to SH bit I haven't but I can see it happening at some point.

What is it called when you love someone but the minute they love you back- you back away. Maybe I do this because I’m scared or maybe because I like the chase more than the prize. I don’t know…all I know is that I sabotage myself all the damn time. And I’m tired. I want something serious but that would mean making room for heartache. They say love is worth the pain but how much pain can one handle before breaking? I’ve been cheated on so many times- I’m starting to wonder if I’m cursed y’all.

-Xoxo

I have lost one of my parent in early years. Stayed at relatives house for over 20 years. Faced a lot of trauma and when tried to make a gf outside of this world I got a heartbreak. At the age of 24 I feel life has no worth and I need support to live