Love Stories

is it true when someone tells you life gets "better." as for a while now I have been struggling with my mental health and especially now I'm in college and fighting to get the help I need with my learning and with my mental health.

As at this very moment in time I feel so lost and depressed and alone. I've also had issues with sh in the past and these issues have come up again and I sh 2 nights ago . And I've also struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past as well. they were really bad whilst I was still at school as I was getting bullied and I also have really bad anxiety and that was making school harder for me as I would have to take time outside of the classroom to calm down and I also would disappear to the toilets to run my hands and wrists under cold water.

I then started couslorling and that helped as at that point I was no just struggling to stay in class I was also struggling to get into class as I was having really bad panick attacks.

And throughout my counselorling setting I learnt new way to help myself get through the panic attacks.

That was untill one day where I was out of class because I was struggling with my anxiety and was in fact having a panic attack and my form tutor saw me and she said you look stressed and then she also said to me about trying some ways to calm down and I'd all ready tried 2 and they didn't work and then she said to me about her taking me to sit I'm her classroom as she wasn't teaching and at this point I had my head phones on listening to music to try and calm myself down and come out of the panic attack as I know that worked for me and she had my try one other way to come out of the panic attack which did sort of help it wa the s deep breathing trick nixed with listening to music and the 5.4.3.2.1 track that got me out of the panic attack then it was lunch time so I spent it with my helper and tryes to explain to her what happened but I couldn't so I just started to talk about something else.

I know no one can positively tell me how I'm supposed to be feeling or if what I'm feeling correct . Little bit of background about 5 days before Christmas I found out that my nan died and I've been struggling to come to terms with the news but I haven't exactly been overly sad about it but at the same time I have cried a hand full of time and I've had r the pit of guilt in my stomach as on my birthday I should of messaged her to say thank you for my parents but I didn't.

side note I also have ADHD so if you can give me some tip on how to deal with this I would be internally gratefull. and if you can in anyway tell me I'm not in the wrong for feeling the way

I am . 😢

Merry Christmas everyone! ❤️🥰

I don't really know how to start but i remember when u first added me back on tiktok, the excitement was something I've never felt before but i convinced myself to calm down and that you probably like all other teenage boys as i did talk to guys that i didn't have good experiences with early months of the year (February, March and April) it was November 12 when i started talking to you but after a few days i caught myself smiling and staying up to your texts we even had an ongoing streak on tiktok because you were a guy i could genuinely open up to without it being weird and we had a lot of similar song and drama interests, its been so long since a actually liked someone like this and it felt so nice. And a few days later you reposted tiktoks about liking someone as i thought it was about me because you only started reposting those AFTER we started talking but i clearly took it as a wrong sign. Exactly 3 weeks Later December 3rd i sent you a paragraph of how i felt but you told me you liked someone else so clearly i mistook your kindness the wrong way. After you sent me that Paragraph I ended up only hearting your message which ended up being our last conversation with eachother on Instagram. Its been 3 weeks 24th December and I'm still stuck here going back to your account stalking your reposts about her and i even found her account and she's honestly so pretty And you guys comment on eachothers tiktoks which i used to do on your tiktoks and you guys deserve each other 2 attractive people together. I can't even block you because we ended on good terms as friends but we never even texted after that. I just wanted to say i miss you Jayden even if we texted as friends..

i was scrolling through my phone, staring at the last text from my boyfriend – "hey, feeling really sick, won't make it to school today." it has only been two weeks since we made it official, and it's crazy how much i miss him already. i mean, is it normal to feel this way? i can't help but wonder if somehow, on some level, he can feel just how much i genuinely miss him. is there like some secret connection or vibe that gets sent out into the universe when you miss someone? 'cause if there is, i'm sending all the good vibes his way.

it's funny how one can become so attached so quickly; like, wow. some might say that's part of the teenage experience, and maybe it is. i've heard about other girls feeling this way for their boyfriends, and honestly, i kinda thought it was a bit cheesy. never thought i’d be the one writing this. 🤦‍♀️ i'm sure he's not super into cheese (the metaphorical kind), but i bet he'd appreciate knowing just how much i care. can't call him though, 'cause his mom says he's resting. just sitting here, my mind constantly battles between wondering if i should send him a "get well" card or just wait until he's feeling better. decisions, decisions, am i right?

idk if anybody else feels or felt this way, but sometimes when you miss someone, it's like they’re always on your mind. every little thing reminds me of him – even the school cafeteria food reminds me of the time we joked about how bad it is. and don’t get me started about the classes we share. sitting in those classes without him feels neither here nor there. it's almost as if not attending classes together changes everything, makes it less exciting. maybe it's because i'm a naturally nostalgic person, or maybe it’s because our bond is still so fresh. you think it's silly, don't you? or can you relate to this?

in conclusion, missing someone seems like a weird roller coaster of emotions, and who knows if he'll ever feel the vibes i'm sending his way. life can be a bit sketchy, but i guess that's just how it goes. i just hope he gets better soon, 'cause i’m over here trying to play it cool when really, all i want is for him to feel better and return to school to turn my frown upside down. do you think love and longing have some secret telepathic power? or maybe i'm just dreaming up a fairytale cause this is the first time i've felt this way. either way, if there’s some cosmic connection, i'm all ears, waiting to see if he'll ever feel those vibes. 😍

i am 41 years old and i am a woman and i am so damn tired of my own brain!!! ten years ago i cheated on my husband and yeah i know how that sounds and i know what people think and honestly i have thought it all myself a thousand times already!!! it was one stupid messy year of my life when i felt invisible and angry and bored and selfish and i made a choice that still sticks to me like gum on a shoe!!! my husband never found out and before you ask yes that fact alone makes me feel like a fake grown adult with a mortgage and a calm smile and a dirty secret!!! i go to work i cook dinner i pay bills i say thank you and sorry and good morning like a normal person while my head randomly screams remember that thing you did!!! it pops up when i am folding laundry or driving or brushing my teeth and i just want my brain to shut the hell up!!! i have read articles i have heard therapists say forgive yourself and move on and yeah sure sounds cute in theory!!! i even wrote it down once like some motivational crap from a podcast quote “you are not your worst mistake” and i laughed because wow that felt fake!!! i am rude to myself about it all the time and i replay the nights and the lies and the thrill and the shame and i hate that part of me and also hate that i cannot delete it!!! how do you stop thinking about something when your mind treats it like unpaid debt!!! do you ever feel like you already served the sentence but your brain keeps adding years!!!

i am trying though and i want to say that out loud because maybe someone needs to hear it!!! i am trying to stop beating myself with the same stick every damn day!!! i remind myself that ten years is a long time and i am not that woman anymore even if she still lives in my memory!!! i remind myself that guilt is not the same as accountability and that endless punishment is not noble it is just dumb!!! sometimes i literally say out loud shut up already and it helps a bit!!! sometimes i tell myself this is not useful thinking and i move on like a tired manager closing a bad meeting!!! i think about how many good years i have given my marriage since then and how many honest moments exist now!!! i read somewhere maybe in a random book or a stupid tweet that said “thoughts are just thoughts not commands” and yeah that stuck with me!!! i am hopeful in a quiet stubborn way!!! i think healing is boring and slow and annoying and not poetic at all!!! but maybe stopping the thinking is not about erasing it and more about not feeding it!!! so i ask you reading this do you have something old and rotten that your brain drags out for no reason!!! do you also want to move the hell on and live!!! if so maybe we both start today and decide that enough is enough!!! because honestly life is short and i am done letting one bad chapter act like the whole damn book!!!

I love my best friend. He's kind, sweet, amazing, and he listens and understands me so well. But I can't have him... I can't express any love besides platonic love for him cause he knows I have a bf and is friends with him. (my bf is cool if I date or like other people in our relationship.) I'm in love with my best friend, he treats me well, treats me nicely, and gosh, he's so cute. I don't know what to do, I love this boy with all my heart and we've known each other for years now. I want to tell him how I feel just so he can just reject me and I get over it more easily, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. What should I do?

Hi

So I got a few months ago my ex best friend/ex Situationship told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend for me because I made him feel safe and loved. Fast-forward a few months I gave him a time limit of when to break up with his girlfriend because I wanted to spend the holidays with him. He then and said, broke things off with me after having intercourse with me. I threatened to tell his girlfriend and now he’s telling everyone that I’m crazy because I have bipolar. So now every time I go to my neighborhood McDonald’s he clears at me and my now boyfriend. But I wanna know if I was crazy to like him in like that or if I was just being a hopeless romantic at a point.

So my long distance boyfriend and I have been together only for a few months. I’m his first girlfriend and he’s definitely been the best boyfriend I’ve had so far. We have pretty good communication and we’re both very open with each other. I know his friends for one. And one of the first friends I learned about was a girl named Katie. Now I don’t mind if he has friends who are girls, because I’d rather trust him than be suspicious of his every move. My mindset has always been that the truth will come out anyway so if he does cheat, I’ll learn at some point, I don’t need to go chasing after that information.

But that’s besides the point. Him and Katie have been friends for a long time. And I’ve heard some disturbing stuff about her. She’s said some pretty mean shit to hi, that are things he’s insecure and worried about in his life. She said that he was a bum and that he was throwing his life away, just because he took a gap year from college to figure out if that’s actually what he wanted to do. And when she learned about me and how we’re long distance, she was like dude wtf? Which was super off putting to me. She acts like such a hater to him. What makes this worse is that he even said that she reminds him of his dad, who he has had a lot of issues with. So that made me really concerned about this friendship. He even blocked her because she was grilling him for struggling to find a job after he got fired, and he said he couldn’t take feeling like he’s disappointing her. Mind you, she’s not even in college or has a job, but she’s on him for this stuff.

I don’t know if I should talk about it with him. I don’t like her and how she talks to him, it’s not right. He works so hard and he’s been doing better than she claims. She’s filling his head with doubts about his own capabilities, calling him mentally ill and that he needs serious help, when there’s nothing wrong with him. I’m worried about talking about this because she’s his friend but, I wish he’d set some boundaries on how she talks to him. I hated hearing say “what if she’s right and I’m throwing away my life and fucking it up by being myself?” That’s a horrible thing for a friend to say. Accountability doesn’t have to be so mean.! I just don’t know if I should tell him how I feel or not.

I been trying to figure out how to even say this without sounding like I’m tripping over my own feet, which honestly is kinda how I write anyway, so maybe that fits. I’m 27, a guy, and for two years I been with this wonderfull dude who is so completely, wholeheartedly, intensly aligned with everything "pride." Like he waves the flag, he quotes activists like “Love is not a crime,” he goes to events, he paints tiny rainbows on plant pots for fun, and he does all that stuff with this sweet energy that should make me feel lifted but instead sometimes it just makes me shrink. Not because I don’t love him, God, I do, but because I don’t assume my gayness. I feel like I’m the opposite of pride, like a walking “don’t look at me” sign, and I wonder if anyone else ever sits in a room full of cheering people and thinks: “Is it okay that I’m scared?” He’ll smile at me in that soft way, and I keep thinking, I wish I could smile back bigger; The thing is, I wasn’t raised to be open about anything. My family doesn’t hate gay people or whatever, but it was this strange “we don’t talk about emotions” house, and I guess I inhaled all that silence like dust. So when my boyfriend says stuff like, “We should go to Pride this summer,” I can’t help panicing a little. But I wanna be polite, I wanna be a good partner, so I try to say yes even if my voice cracks. One time we were holding hands at a bus stop and this kid smiled at us, and he said it was beautifull, but I thought my heart was gonna jump out my mouth like some cartoon. Still, I’m trying, and maybe that’s something. I keep telling myself hope is a slow-growing thing, like those stubbron plants that only bloom once a year. Do you think it’s possible to love someone with your whole chest but still fear the space your love takes up in the world? Because that’s exactly where I’m standing, like on the edge of something I wanna want more confidentley. My boyfriend says I’ll get there "when I’m ready," and maybe he’s right. I’m not proud, but I’m not hopeless eitherr 🙂

Anyway, the second thing I wanted to talk about, and please don’t judge how messy this is because I warned you I’m a terrible writter, is how sometimes the simplest moments make me feel like maybe I’m changing without noticing. Like we were in the kitchen last week, burning pancackes because neither of us knows how to multitask, and he said, “Hey, you know I don’t love you because you’re proud. I love you because you’re you.” And I swear something in me cracked open but in a good way. It reminded me of that line in a book I read once, “Courage is just fear that has said its prayers,” which felt weirdly fitting even though I’m not religous. I told him about how I still feel like hiding sometimes, and he said he does too, which surprised the hell outta me because he always looks so steddy. I’m trying to hold on to that thought: even the proud ones get scared. Maybe being the opposite of pride doesn’t mean being broken, maybe it just means being in proggress. I try to take small steps: letting him kiss me in public when no one’s around, talking about my feelings even if the sentences come out crookedd, trying to breathe through the panic instead of shoving it down. And I wanna be polite to myself too, which I’m learning is harder than being polite to other people. So here I am, asking you, any of you reading, do you think someone like me can someday stand next to someone like him without feeling like I’m a shadow next to a fire? I’m hopeful. I really am. Even if my hope still feels like a begginer...

I took a few tests and they all say that I'm at risk of an eating disorder but I don't know if they're like accurate or not so if you could give me like accurate test that's very pretty cool because I don't think that I'm at risk because I'm not like really skinny you know so I don't think I am but if you guys have any accurate test that'd be pretty cool

love,

Melody (13 f)

I'm not completely sure if these are forms of self harm but I like bite myself till I bruise and sometimes the bruising is bad but no one can see it because I bit myself close to the shoulder and I were short sleeves that cover it and I also bang my head against the wall but it's not cutting myself or like you know so I don't know if that's so hard it's just not leaving anymore on myself because I had a sibling that did so far and they have these marks and stuff like that but I don't so I don't know if it counts if you have any questions or anything just ask in the comments and if you have any advice just leave it too thank you

love,

Melody (13 f)

I'm so lonely I don't have anyone to talk to that might feel and then when I finally open up to my parents I'm debating on how I should feel or I'm actually feeling or my memory that I know happen I'm going insane I just want a friend or someone to talk to and I had a friend named Asher and he's gone he just we were dating and then he just stopped talking to me and that was the first time and I want to say since third grade when the pressure got too much I felt just like this pure actual happiness like nothing could bring me down and it is felt like there was nothing in the world that could make me sad again and then he just left me because he was going through some things instead of talking to me he just left and I know it's bad to be very upset at him but I am he just left he just stopped talking to me and now I'm all alone again the difference is he has friends I have none I'm all alone I don't know why I'm so lonely I just want friends I want someone to love me and just let me speak about my feelings but I have no one just no one or maybe one day I will again that's it

sincerely Melody (13,f) [don't comment if you're just gonna be mean]

I feel fake sometimes like life isn't real in short episodes sometimes a few times a day the most. but I don't know why I feel like this. one second I'm fine just living the next I'm convinced nothing is real that I'm not real. it's really scary. but I don't think I'm describing it well so imma cut this short.

sincerely,

melody (13, f)

I hate college .

The course I'm doing is boring and we just do the same work over and over again and no one ever speaks up about it.

Every since the October half term I've had no help on a Wednesday. When they can be bothered to give me the help I need it's only for other one lesson or tow.

I also can't last the whole day at college due to my knee and if I do manage to last the whole day. I end up in a little of pain.

I then don't go into college at all the next day because I 'm just in to much pain and I struggle to put any weight on or through my knee.

I have also now got a date for physical therapy.

and just in general I don't know what to do anymore as I don't like and am not enjoying college and the course I'm doing and I'm debating weather or not to change course or just leave the college all together.