School Stories - page 2

Hi, call me sumaya. i have been struggling with my mh since year7, my teachers dont listen to me and i feel like that no one likes me and there is no point to life, i have been cutting and cutting and i js feel like doing it even if im 1month clean. i js hate my life and i always get bullied and teachers always think i "i kick off" well no, i am at my breaking point and all of the teachers dont like me and i js hate me, my timeout pass got taken away and all my support is going down the drain. and my wellebing is all scenes when it isnt. if its other ppl they mollycoddle them and i js wanna be loved and have friends and leave that skl.. i wanna be alone./ i have no friends and no one likes me. i am a nobody.

yo, i'm here for the first time here... and I have a question: why does it feel like nobody likes me?? like seriously, what's wrong with me? i'm 17 and it's freaking impossible to find people who actually want to be around me. in school, i'm just sitting there, invisible, while all these cliques and groups are laughing and having fun. i try to join, but they just look at me like i have three heads. it's not like i'm an alien or something! why is it so hard to just have someone like me for once??

so i thought, maybe school isn't for me, maybe i can find people outside of there, you know?? so i joined some sports clubs and tried to get involved. figured maybe the people there would appreciate my effort. guess what?! same damn story!!! doesn't matter if it's soccer, basketball, chess, whatever, it's like i'm cursed or something. like, what the hell am i doing wrong?? do i smell or something?!? it's like no matter where i go, i'm always the outsider. 🤦‍♂️

i keep thinking, maybe it’s my personality… but seriously, is it?!? like, I think I'm a decent person, ya know? it's not like i'm some jerk or always complaining (even though i am right now), but really... i just wanna understand why people can't seem to like me. and don’t even get me started on social media! people only like my stuff just 'cause they feel bad for me, i swear!!! it's like pity likes or something... maybe it's just better to be alone than fake liked, right?

how can people be so damn picky? are they looking for some perfect friend?? well guess what, i'm not perfect, okay! no one is. sometimes, i think that everyone’s just wearing these masks, pretending to be something they’re not, just to fit in. but maybe that's really what it takes... maybe i should just pretend to be someone i'm not to get people to like me??? sounds dumb, right??? but then again, isn't that what everyone else is doing too?!

anyways, i'm just tired of trying, you know?? i'm tired of giving my 100% and still coming up short. maybe it's just me after all… or maybe it's them. who knows?? all i know is i'm done bending over backwards for people who clearly don't appreciate it. feels like i'm just stuck in this never-ending loop of feeling unwanted. 😒 like, why don't people like me... ever??? is there something wrong with me or is the world just messed up?? ugh, questioning everything is exhausting... does anyone else feel this way too??

“So you think being a lesbian is worse than being a rapist?“ was not something I wanted to hear in the first 10 minutes of class.

But I keep my head up, and laugh when something funny happens because what else can I do?

I can act like it doesn’t matter.

Who are you to me anyway?

But no one says anything

and the words keep coming like waves crashing onto the shore

“Who even cares about the LGBT community anyway?“

“Why are you so gay?“

“just put the boy or girl on the website, the other ones are too complicated“

Petty jokes that flaunt your obvious queerphobia like a trophy.

And I know the teachers are trying their best

But I’m so tired of them changing the subject

“Just let it go!“

“I’m okay with it, but sheesh.“

You get a slap on the wrist so they don’t have to actually deal with the problem

Everytime it gets okay enough for me to feel good for once

I get hit with something like “Homosexuality is a sin!“ or “isn’t it some sort of disease?“

which is so easy for someone straight like you to say

Who’s questioned skipping class because you can’t handle another trumpie telling you how to exist

Who’s never questioned who the right person to tell about your crush is because you don’t know how they’ll react

Who’s never had someone get up and run away from you after you told them about your sexuality

Who’s never had a friend say “I don’t talk to lesbians because I’m worried they’ll like me!“ behind your back.

No one’s blackmailed you for being straight.

No one’s said you’ve betrayed the opposite sex.

You’ve never spent a birthday party sitting next to some girl trying to convince you you’re too pretty for this “lifestyle.“

You’ve never sat there and taken all the comments and rude gestures while you talk to a person of the opposite sex because you’re too scared to tell them the truth.

You’re not sick.

You’re not a sinner.

And you don’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions

Because you have queer friends!

You get a free pass!

You were just kidding!

And everyone believes you.

What do they care?

It’s not about them anyway

I’ve spent too much time pretending not to hear you

or that you meant something else

I’m not asking for much

But you don’t need to look at at through the lense of your religion

You don’t need to look at us through the lense of being less

You just need to look at us the same way that you look at people

Your fellow humans

All I ask is too be humanized

Is that too much?

I stand I front of myself in the mirror, tears blurring the vision of the dress I tried on. It was a looser fit than before, but not lose enough. The contents of my stomach always emptied not so long after meals, lost somewhere in the pipes that rest beneath my house. And I stare at my bruised frame, cursing myself for the damage I am causing to myself. All because the only thing I want to feel is pretty. I make myself sick because I know this is all wrong. I know because it is only reassurance that I have gained over the years. Yes i’m aware I need to come to terms with my body, love myself unconditionally and all that, but I don’t. I can’t.

This is my first time doing something like this and probably the only time I only ever talk to myself when I feel down I'm in high school and I've always been the "lone wolf" that one quiet and calm kid you might see sketching or climbing a tree I don't talk much and people know me I know people but I'm not really friends with anybody I've only got one friend will call here 'Po' and lately things just feel different and off I'm not as happy as I used to be seeing them and it's probably just me so I event brought it up I'm so fed up with everything I can't vent to anyone and Po is my only friend and she's got more than enough of her own problems on her plate plus a lot from other people we're both 'therapist friends' if you will I often find myself fixing other people's lives only for them to completely ditch me months or weeks later feels like rescuing an injured animal as soon as their healed up they leave you Po vents to me about how draining it is to be around people who are depressed and down not in a mean way I get it it is draining and she's referring to her girlfriend who is also going through some stuff Po get seasonal depression and it's mid winter where I am I don't have any other friends or even people to talk to I've got a little sister who's much younger then me so why would I vent to her and honestly I wouldn't trust her either my parents aren't a option and I don't know where else to vent I'm the one who fixes everything what happens when I'm not doing great? witch I haven't been for awhile I just wish I could disappear everything is so stressful and the only thing keeping me going is drawing I'm sick of everything else my friendship with Po feels just feels empty she's moving in a few months and if you asked me last year in January I would have said there's no way we would grow apart and our friendship would totally be fine but now I'm not so sure and I can't lose her but it doesn't feel right anymore and anytime I think of venting to her she ends up telling me about how someone just vented to her and how she's glad that I feel like a breath of fresh air I'm not sure what to do my body image issues have been getting worse I find myself using the alphabet trick to stop me from crying at least several times a day and I'm not sure what to do I feel dead inside and I quit soccer which I've been doing for seven years I'm going to quit a sewing classes I've been in for four years and I'm so incredibly guilty for feeling like this when everyone else is doing bad too I just want it to go away I can't do this anymore I don't want to be the loner who's fine with never hanging out or sitting by myself and enjoying my own company 24/7 I don't trust people because I had bad trust issues before especially with older people when I was younger it took me 4 years to trust this lady and two days after I did and let my guard down it blow up right in my face and I haven't seen them in three years and honestly I don't want to I still can't believe that it felt like I got kicked when I was already down and I don't think I'm ever going to recover from that since I told myself it would be fine and having trust issues isn't healthy so I decided to trust someone and then it backfired spectacularly I don't feel like eating or doing anything I just want it to stop I hate this so much and I wish I could just be normal I'm stressed about everything I feel like I'm going mental and I'm so dissociated from life it's not even funny I'm probably gonna regret ever writing and ranting about this even though it's just on the internet where nobody knows who I am thank you for lending me an ear there is a high chance of spelling mistakes in this since I'm writing this down so quickly but genuinely thank you I'm not looking for sympathy I just really need to get this off my chest to anyone will to read

For context, I am a 7th grade student, just adding this because it adds more depth to the story. In class today, my friend told me when I bent over to see what my friend was doing on her desk which was right next to mine, my friend told me (who was near by my desk and Joeys) a boy behind me (Joey) was staring at me; in the wrong places. I sat back down after my friend said that, kinda disturbed but was paranoid if it really did happen. I stood up again, and did it again just to test the waters which was obviously a bad idea. I think I caught him staring, but I’m not exactly sure. I’m not exactly an attractive girl and this boy is innocent and really stupid (there’s clearly girls in that class which was more attractive than me) which leaves me to doubt what that he did it. You know that thing where you kneel on your chair? My female friend next to me did it and I think he stared again.

It made me feel uncomfortable, but for some reason seriously doubt he did it, am I paranoid?

(TW for SH)

I abselutely despise school, because it's just a bunch of work being suddenly loaded onto your back which is really stressful. As much as I hate it, though, I'm only now realizing how much I relied on it as a distraction. Back in September I caved in under pessure and started self-harming. It's been a really long journey, but after being clean for some time, it just ended all of a sudden tonight. I don't know how; I had an amazing day hanging out with my friends and all of a sudden I get home and this happens?!

I wish I could go back to school, and I wish that summer break hadn't started so soon. I hate being left alone with my thoughts for this long because this is what happens.

Long vent

Super, super long day today. I feel exhausted and just honestly like a wet rag.

Had two tests today and idk how to feel about them. I don't think they went bad, but i do think i could've done better. I did study, but not as much as i wanted to, cause yesterday i felt really bad and couldn't continue for a while. I just kinda wanted to go home and sleep forever, but then my mom told me that this morning my grandpa called (from my dads side, we're not good terms with them) and got aggressive and insulted her over the phone. Now she'd like me to call him and defend her, I think. Maybe argue back and throw some insults of my own. But i get really nervous in arguements and It takes nothing to make me start crying, and Just the thought of calling and argueing with them specifically freaks me out. I don't know what do right now. I'm just tired of everything.

I often find myself wandering the halls of my school, feeling as if I'm cloaked in a bubble of invisibility. There’s this overwhelming sensation that everyone is watching me, or worse, judging me. I mean, why is it that I have no friends? Is it something I've said? Something I've done? Or is it simply that I'm just not likable enough? I often observe groups of students laughing and chatting, and I can’t help but wonder why I am not part of their conversations. Do I have a sign on my forehead that reads “unwanted”? Honestly, it feels like I’m the butt of some invisible joke—and trust me, it isn’t funny!!!

As days bleed into each other, I consider the possibility that perhaps my existence irks people. Maybe it's my aloof demeanor or my refusal to conform to the expected behaviors of a "typical" teenager. It seems to me that people thrive on conformity while I repel it. But is it wrong to be true to myself? Why should I change for others when I am perfectly fine as I am? Maybe this lens through which I perceive social interactions is distorted. Yet, every time I try to engage, I am met with cold responses or, even worse, indifference. Is there a rulebook that I’ve missed? Is my approach to socialization fundamentally flawed? I can’t help but question whether my supposed unpopularity is a reflection of who I am or simply a result of circumstances beyond my control...

Despite these feelings of isolation, I want to hold onto hope!!! I refuse to let negativity dictate my self-worth. Life is too short to agonize over the opinions of those who hardly know me. Perhaps the tides of change will turn, and friendships will blossom in unexpected ways. The world is vast, and there are countless individuals out there who may appreciate my uniqueness. So, why do I allow this unfounded fear that everyone hates me to consume my thoughts? Instead of drowning in self-doubt, I will choose to focus on self-improvement and personal growth. Today, I may feel invisible, but tomorrow could bring new opportunities!!!

Currently 7:20 pm. Trying to study for test tomorrow and pretend i'm not absolutely terrified and completly overwhelmed by everything i need to and alle the deadlines i need to follow. I have a test practically every day. Not great. I'm tired, i'm burnt out and demotivated and Just the thought of what i have to do and study makes me wanna throw up. I've been trying to fix things recently. But i messed up the last few days. Felt horrible. Got anxious and procrastinated. Tbh i've been feeling like this for a while. 2 years and something i think. It's annoying. I Just feel so tired and everything feels like too much even things i used to like, like hobbies, drawing, movies or even basic things. Like just cleaning or cooking or eating. And while i do try to fix things It Just doesn't work. I always mess up and go back to the start point or even worse. Idk why. Maybe i'm just stupid. But i'm so tired and i feel like such a failure. Everyone else does this just fine. They're improving and getting Better and better. Why am i struggling? I just keep getting worse. Sometimes i just wanna sleep and hide and forget about It. But most nights i can't even sleep because i just feel so horrible. Today i didn't go to school because i didn't sleep almost at all last night, i felt miserable and the thought of going made wanna throw up. And my friend said She over heard some of our classmates talk bad about me behind my back. Honestly sometimes i fell like i deserve It, them being mean and other bad things happening. Cause they are amazing and beautiful and smart and i just feel like a horrible person messing up everything over and over again. I'm so tired.

I have undianosed dyscalculia, and it really just overall sucks a lot. I take a lot longer to get things done in math class, and I've even gone to dislike games that everyone considers fun because I can never contribute as well as my teammates. Ever since I was about six I've kind of known that something was wrong, but every time my parents tried convincing me that I was good at math and just talking down on myself, even though I could hardly understand the concepts. it just kept getting worse as time went on, though, and now I have no idea how to bring something like that up. My math teacher has expectations for where the class should be, and I'm not there at all, if it weren't for two other people in the class then we would have way harder lessons. I've had a friend call me stupid (in a friendly joking kind of way, not at all knowing about any of this because we always joke about me being terrible at math), and even though it used to be a joke now it just hurts. I'm scared for next year because I know it's just going to get harder, and I don't think my parents are going to help get me diagnosed because they genuinely belive theres nothing wrong (I've had to have a doctor tell them I had anxiety way higher than people my age for them to belive me, which makes me think they don't trust me or just listen to me).

It's gotten to the point where I genuinely feel really dumb and stupid, even though I know I can't really help it. it also doesn't help that everything just slips out of my head, so if I do ever figure something out I can never remember and have to start all over.

I'm a teenager and ftm. I've been identifying as a male for 2 years now and I've got a binder but i hardly pass as male and everytime i try to tell a stranger I'm male they just go 'no you arent!' (because we're still in school and kids are like that :/) i really really wanna pass. Does anyone have any tips? Well, i also have a story i can tell you as compensation! Once this happened again. I was in the gym, waiting for my bus after school because i ride the late bus, and then some guy 2 grades below me like hit on me or something(?) and one my little sister's friend, who sits with me while waiting for our respective bus's said "one; that thing is a man. And two; that thing has a girlfriend." And they went 'thats a boy??? That's not a boy." As usual. So, i got up and said "im more of a man than you are." Bc im a whiny btch who gets pissed off at anyone who shows any sign of intolerance towards me or my friends. Anygay- any tips pls?

I'm really struggling in school right now. Everything is a group project for every single subject and it makes me want to cry as my anxiety gets cranked to 100 each day, and no one wants to work with me because I'm the weird girl, it's so humiliating. I can't catch a break either as teachers aren't sympathetic to my struggles at all, I know they can help but they don't... I just want to get this over with but I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever finish my career and we're only 3 months into the first year out of four. I wish someone would help me out, I wish I could focus more, and I wish I could have it easy for once in my life. Even getting to this point was so damn hard for me, can't I just enjoy my life? Everyone else seems to be doing fine. I want to be like them.

or just my life>? 17/05/25

suffering is damaging truly. i've noticed the signs of it personally for a long time now. but it lead to me thinking of what the cause was? being a teenager in the middle of an exam season in which i prepared for since the beginning of the year. i feel excluded myself from life. the beauty of it, the leisure of socialising with others, partying, late-night talks. i truly did dissocialise myself for petty grades. a letter i subjected my life too. i cut off majority of my friends and the remainder only talk to me because they're afraid i might off myself. and hopelessly, i do hate it. nobody wants to be alone- but it's better than standing with a group who pretends to enjoy your presence. this led me to spiral completely, i skipped days from school and managed my own subjects at home to avoid socialising, to avoid that gut-wrenching feeling of anxiety whenever someone outed your name- someone looked your way. and the fact is- i'm to pussy to say anything. i always was.

i was always one to receive compliments growing up which was heart-warming but led to me becoming more self-conscious on remaining in my beautiful standard. the one which attracted, who never cried, who glowed. but now, i've been to the hospital for my low blood pressure and shoulder pains which i had inflicted on myself. i fed myself junk for days then deprived myself. having a fast metoblism innately didn't work in my favour. it led me to depending on food to fill that voice in my head. the pain of school- the devastation of life, the desire to be more beautiful, to have people who liked me for me and not who i was before. and now, with rib pain caused by anxiety, i remain in the same position questioning is my life pointless.

Hi,

Today is May 16, 2025.

I've tried to ignore my feelings for a very long time now, I've been struggling between different situations, and I'm not sure how long would I be able to keep it up.

It is like today, all the bad feelings impregnated to my brian, are taking over my head.

Today, I feel ugly, fat, not a very successful person, I feel stuck, I'm not progressing, I feel lonely, I'm not a valuable person.

I feel insecure when I look myself in the mirror, I see an ugly person, like there is nothing I can do to change that, I don't like people to stare at me, as I feel, they are disgusted of what they are seeing. I'm financially broke, I have only enough money to eat and basic necessities.

In my job, I feel helpless, a nuisance. It is something new, so I don't have the skills required to execute in that role, but no one is helping, I don't like to bother my colleagues, but I don't understand what I'm doing. I tried to applied for a different job, but they are not contacting me, they are not interested in me, I've received only rejections (another thing to add to make me feel less valuable).

I work from home, so I don't really have so many people I can speak to, it is very difficult to see my few friends, and my sister is always busy, and I don't really like to bother them with my problems.

My spouse doesn't help me either, he doesn't make me feel supported. I feel stressed out around him. He doesn't make me feel loved. I feel he likes to control us and impose us, otherwise, he will get mad, start yelling and insult us, not only me, but my kids too. How I'm capable to tolerate this, what's wrong with me? There are some things we both like, like the music, anime, cinema, technology, but we lack some others, like the adventure, to know new places, to get to know new people. I know we are different people, and we are not supposed to like the same things, but I consider these things very important in my life. When we go vacationing, it turns very uncomfortable, because he begins to see negativity in people and place, he starts making a fuss over a simple thing, which makes me feel uneasy, I've decided not to go with him anywhere. He tries to minimize my older son (who is not his biological son), always highlighting his flaws, making him feel stupid, or useless. Actually, he tries to minimize everybody. I'm trying to understand him, because he had a very difficult childhood (abandonment), but I feel it is not fair for us to tolerate his behavior. I'm not sure if I should leave him, as I know even thought, I'm financially broken, he helps with the house bills and some of the chores.

My mother suffocates me too, she has been always controlling my actions, my motherhood, my adulthood, she doesn't let me be. I think I married, so I could scape from her, controlling my life. My mother was always at home to raise us, so she didn't have like a real social life, besides my siblings and me, so she spoiled us so much, mostly my little brother (who doesn't work nor study), and that's what we are afraid of my sons, as they are so spoiled by my mom. When I try to make distance, she makes me feel guilty for leaving her, for ignoring her. Like I'm attacking her. I'm not sure it was because of her, that I have so many insecurities, and complexities. She was always controlling my father, because my father was and still is a cheater and a sexist, but they are still living together, tolerating each other.

Could this be the reason I'm tolerating my husband too?

Am I guilt of my whole situation?