School Stories - page 2

I have a lot of emotions right now, and I just really need to share with someone. I don't want to burden any of my friends with this because I don't want it to seem like I am making a big deal over nothing. I just have a lot hitting me at once right now and I need to get it off my chest. first off is the thing that is bugging me the most right now. my family has been doing foster care for a while now. one thing I have noticed since we started is that I generally try not to get attached to the kids staying with us. foster care almost always ends in the kids being away from us. which is not a bad thing, it just means that the kid's parents are doing better so they can be reunited. which is usually much better for the kids. however, as a foster sibling, it makes it much harder to say goodbye after living together for so long. this has caused me to put walls up and not get too attached so that it doesn't hurt as much when it is time to say goodbye. well, we currently have a little kid staying with us who has a lot of medical needs. this kid has been staying with us for quite some time. he had to be brought in to the hospital today and then flown to another hospital that is fairly far away from us. we had no clue that this would end up being the case. anyway, it is killing me because of how much I miss him right now. the kid has turned into a real brother for me. I miss him and I am worried that he will be stuck in that hospital for several weeks again. the first time that he had to stay up there for a few weeks didn't affect me too much. for some reason it is making me really sad this time. it is making me genuinely scared of having to say goodbye. if I can hardly handle this, I don't know what I am going to do if he goes back to his family. I am worried about the kid and I am genuinely starting to love him like a little brother, and it scares me.

the second thing I needed to vent about isn't as big of a deal, but it is still getting under my skin. I have to start my junior year in high-school in two days and I am dreading it. I have been in denial and trying not to think about it, so I am not mentally prepared whatsoever. I don't want to go back because school and the dual credit classes I have been taking are mentally, physically and time draining. I have had a little break over the summer, and I finally feel relaxed and like myself again. I have been able to enjoy myself without being in a state of complete exhaustion all the time. I am not ready to let that go. I am also terrified for all the big tests I will have to take at the end of the year. this has all been stressing me out, but the thing that gets me the worst is how scared I am to grow up. I am trying to enjoy my childhood as much as possible, which is extremely difficult to do when all my time is filled with school work and chores. last year I felt lucky if I got to watch an entire movie in one go without loosing a bunch more sleep than I already was. I am terrified to have to be an adult because everyone talks about how horrible it is. I have tried to bring that up to my parents but my dad always just says that it only gets worse as you get older. I don't want to have to be an adult and be constantly miserable. I am trying to enjoy the last few years I have left to be a kid, which is very difficult with how little free time I have. I just want to stay in my room and never go back to school

Sorry if this feels too long for y'all. Do skip this if you don't wanna go through it all. I feel like I'm reaching out desperately for attention and warmth by people by doing this. But I'm gonna say it all anyway. I'm a victim of bullying in school. I've never been able to say it all completely word by word before until now. It all started with me falling off of my school van, and of course constant headfalls by family abuse, and developing epileptic seizures. I got heavily targeted by my school mates for this temporary disability i had. I used to eat tabs for seizures, i don't remember the name of it as my parents moderated my medications. It made me lethargic and drunk basically. I barely had any idea of what was happening around me. I was always in a daze. But everyone, took advantage of it and belittled me. Even one of my teachers. It all actually started from 3rd grade, before that i was extremely bright and a top grade student. Also started from my 3rd grade homeroom teacher. She knew i had a problem and would still make me do things i genuinely couldn't and then punish me in front of everyone, announcing everyone that I'm a "Retard", yea that's right, she used that word at me without any sense of remorse or sympathy for me. And this is how no one started respecting me. They'd steal my tiffins, my stationery, put stones in my backpack, pull my hairband and throw them in the dustbin, break stuff and then blame me for doing it because OF COURSE I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON I WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF EVERYTHING AND FELT LIKE A BURDEN. Once my "friends"... my naive ass used to think they were my friends, broke my bench partner's glasses, and blamed it all on me when i was clearly just taking a nap. They beat me in the class in front of everyone. I went and complained to my teacher about it but she did nothing ofc. I got a stray dog bite in 5th grade, and yeah... it fuelled their excuses for bullying me. I joined karate in school to kind of cope with all this, and i was surprisingly very adept at it. But yeah, i became an outcast to everyone there too, except my sensei who used to praise me for everything. 6th grade. I got bullied by my class teacher again. She'd say I'm a crybaby and can't do anything on my own, and call me smart in front of my parents. What a horrid woman. Again everyone ostracized me for that. I finally met my math teacher in 6th grade who was kind enough and understood me and validated me for my qualities. I got attached to her because it was the first time i got praised and felt loved by someone. I almost didn't want to transfer schools because of her. 8th grade scored some friends and became one of the top students again, but yeah, i had no luck in my life, they all got striped away from me at 9th grade, got stuck in an alien class, with no one i knew or no one who respected me. But then again, in 9th grade I became one of the top 10 rankers out of nowhere, all that alone studying paid off. I became the most knowledgeable person in class, which I'm proud of, but still got heavily hated and based by the people in my class. They'd ask me for notes, and then write curses on the back of my copies and give them back. I got tired of it all and asked my parents to change schools but guess what? they said "bear with it" and would ask me for advice if i should. Who in their right mind asks a kid for their opinion on this? If i suddenly caught a liking to some teacher, of course i wouldn't see the bigger picture and say no to transferring. But they thought i was "mature" enough and asked me these and now blame me when i tell them why they didn't do it all. 10th grade i was finally opening up and started to show myself despite my fear of people, but yeah. The world hates me. Welcome corona quarantine. Got sheltered again. Broke me again completely. Couldn't get myself out of the shell anymore and passed 12th like this. I kind of got adapted to the people in the place i lived in, sounds contradictory to my whole story, but yeah, it was the norm i knew. Then my parents, heartlessly, had no pinch of wellbeing for me, and transferred places. Went to the south, where people have NIGHT AND DAY differences from the north. Were nicer but sexist, i couldn't stand them, it wasn't the normal public in my eyes. I somehow managed to put a face at university for the first year and a half of the second, forcing myself to stand out and look cool, look like a well knowledgeable person, who's good at everything. But I couldn't anymore. I dropped my academics, stopped trying, but idk how i somehow miraculously completed my degree. I'm sorry for venting so much. I had to finally let all of this out for once. It's been like months since I graduated my university. I know I shouldn't let this past bother me, but it keeps haunting me every single moment of my existence. I had to let it all out, this app seemed perfect to do so. Thanks for reading till here. I just want to feel heard and seen, may it be even anonymously.

This is my first year in school since five years (I was homeschooled) and I have trouble talking to people in fear of being rude or misunderstood. I met a girl who was very understanding of my sarcasm and candidness and she became my friend and introduced me to her friend group. I became absent for a day due to illness to find out that one of the girls in the group turned the entire 8 person friend group against me. She told them that everything I’ve ever said was simply rude and that I judge her work in class (even though I’ve never sat next to her in class and the only time I did sit next to her I told her that her work is beautiful). I now sit alone again and I can’t find good friends who want to be with me for who I am and not what I am (I have insecurities of being used since that was what kept happening to me). I feel lonely all the time but I can’t make friends. Any thoughts?

this summer has sucked tremendously. my partner had just graduated with an associates degree from community college and got transferred to a wonderful bachelors+masters program with a half tuition scholarship. it seemed to be going great.

they needed a car, so we tried carvana. NEVER AGAIN. everything was smooth and painless up until actually getting the damn thing. delays and delays and delays, so we just cancelled. but they said that they couldn't refund A THOUSAND DOLLARS because it was a long-haul shipping fee. we had to dispute the charge and only just now got the all clear that theyre getting their money back.

next: moving out. they dont have a good home life. we've been dating 3 years and their parents still dont know i exist. luckily a few friends have an apartment in the city with a room available, so thats sorted. i cant go in to help them pack or move, so everything had to be moved over the course of weeks until the move in date, which SUCKED.

now for the worst. they signed up for on campus housing earlier in the year, not knowing what their living situation could look like. unbeknownst to us, this is LEGALLY BINDING. now theyre being charged an extra 20k a year for room and board that they won't use.

so we needed to send a release appeal, getting a letter from a third party verifying that they arent in a financial situation to pay for room and board. the bill is due TOMORROW and the appeal is still pending, they wont answer any calls or emails.

fuck it, they thought. tuition NEEDS to be paid for. lets apply for loans.

ALL. FUCKING. DENIED. even with my mom offering to cosign. what the fuck?

so now we're scrambling to find out if we can delay payment until the appeal is finalized, because jesus christ what are we supposed to do?

worst case, the appeal is denied and they simply cant pay for college and needs to drop out.

i dont know where to go from here. this is someone i deeply care for, it has been BRUTAL going through all this. ive been anxious, cant eat, lost weight. the uncertainty of whats next is killing me.

so, if my life was a sitcom, what would you think?

fucking hell

Everyone is so mean to me, like really mean!!!! I do not even understand what the hell is going on anymore?? I'm 19 and I go to uni like everyone else, I’m studying communications and marketing which is supposed to be all about people and connection and empathy and whatever, but none of these girls in my program act like they’ve even seen a human being before!!! They literally look at me like I’m dirt on their shoes, and I swear it’s just cause I’m hot. I look older than them, maybe mid-20s or something, I’ve been told that a million times at parties or events, and somehow that’s enough for these girls to start whispering and side-eyeing me??? I walk into a seminar room and it's dead silence. Dead. Like did I say something to them??? No. Never. I'm polite, I say hi, I try to make convo, but no. They just act cold as ice like I'm some alien with a disease. It's so pathetic honestly.

And yes, I have an OnlyFans, so what???? What’s the issue???? I make real money. Like more than enough to cover rent, tuition, food, and still have nice things. My content is nothing extreme, nothing illegal, nothing wild — it’s art, okay?? High-quality photography, consistent brand aesthetic, SEO optimization, smart pricing tiers, premium subscriber rewards — it’s literally textbook content marketing but with my face and body, so of course it works. But these girls act like I committed murder!!! I heard one of them saying "at least I’m not selling myself online" like?? Babe, I’m not selling myself. I’m selling a lifestyle, a vibe, a curated digital persona that pays for my goddamn bills while you’re still begging your dad to Venmo you 20 bucks for takeout. Grow up. Stop acting like I’m some kind of danger to the institution of higher education or whatever. You're just bitter.

It’s been like this since the second week of semester. First week they were fake-nice, you know? Those little “omg we should study together!” type lies. Then they all slowly ghosted me. I had one girl literally leave a group project and switch teams just cause she “didn’t feel comfortable.” Like be real, what part of me is uncomfortable??? Is it the fact I have better makeup? Is it cause I know how to dress well for my body type and don’t show up in wrinkled leggings and knock-off Crocs?? Or is it cause guys on campus actually talk to me, and it bothers you that I don’t even chase them? They come to me. They ask ME for notes. They offer ME rides. Maybe focus on why you hate yourself so much that you think someone else’s success is a personal attack. Like what even is the psychology behind that????

But whatever. I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t hurt — it really freaking does. I go home some days and just cry, cause it’s lonely out here when you’re actually doing well for yourself and no one claps for you. Like damn, I’m 19, I’m running a profitable content platform with solid monthly growth, I ace my presentations, and I still get treated like trash by basic girls who can't even spell "algorithm." 😤 But I’m not gonna stop. No way. I love how I look, I love making money, and I love the future I’m building. If you hate me for that, that says way more about you than it ever will about me. Maybe one day they’ll grow up and realize the world isn’t high school anymore. Until then, I’ll be doing me — and maybe that’s enough. Or maybe not???

School has been difficult for me, especially in 2025. And no, I don’t mean just struggles with the schoolwork. I mean in terms of social groups and friendships as well. It’s been a real struggle, and I’m not anywhere close to finishing my third term yet.

Assignments and homework in Year 10 are a real struggle, especially when it all piles up into one hell of a mess that you know will hinder you greatly in the future. I was (and still mostly am) in the top classes, and it comes with heavy expectations. I used to get a plethora of A’s in my report for every subject, with the occasional B’s and C’s here, and a rare D. But I feel like that’s dropped a massive margin. I’ve been doing worse in my math tests, and it just never feels like enough. I’ve lived with the idea that I should just know everything and figure it out by myself if something doesn’t work out. I can’t catch up with the homework, and I procrastinate at an extremely unhealthy level (to the point I do my assignments in the last 2-3 days before the due date. It’s a terrible habit to have, and yet nothing seems to motivate me to actually do the homework. It’s a horrible feeling, knowing that you’re doing much worse than before.

Social life at my school is important, especially with the amount of people that go there. My high school holds a whopping 1200 people (yes, it is a public school in Australia), after all. But this year, especially recently, I just feel likeI’m being…well, left out. In all my classes, my usual friends don’t seem to want to talk to me, and would rather talk to someone else. It’s been like this since Year 7 (the start of Australian high school). I once had a close friend group that always seemed to prefer hanging out with each other rather than anyone else. But now, it’s different. See, I’m not close or really friends with a lot of the people my close friends are good friends with. And they seem to want to talk to them more than me.

A lot of the time, it’s made me feel like I’ve said or done something wrong. I try to join in on conversations, but I end up just standing there awkwardly and silently, listening to my friends talk to their friends. I want to make new friends too, don’t get me wrong. But this whole situation just makes it feel impossible. Even if I have my boyfriend (yeah, I have a boyfriend) to keep me company at times, he has his own friend group too, and I don’t want to hinder his social life too. I have a really bad fear of being left out. My self esteem is not good, and that’s me being honest. Sometimes I hate that I’m sensitive and overreact to things, even though it just naturally comes out of me. The fear of rejection and disapproval also applies to my academics, because I’m such a HUGE people pleaser; I always feel the need to satisfy people, even at the cost of my identity.

And all this ties back to self esteem and my fear of being left out and rejection. It all had made me see myself in a different light. Not exactly a good one too. It’s just been weighing down on me for the past year, and I have never told anyone else this. It just feels like everything is falling apart all at once, and it really hurts. It’s hard to deal with it alone, but as a hormonal teenager at the ripe age of 16, it feels even worse. I would love any support or comfort I could get, because it’ll make me truly feel seen and heard, because I never felt like I’ve been.

I can’t get out of this. It has been almost 2 years since my A levels but it still haunts me. I have achieved A*s after extreme hard work as I was never that great of a student in my childhood so I had to work a lot. However in my A levels I got relatively poor grades especially in Biology, and biology is my strongest subject ( seriously ). Because of those grades I couldn’t even apply to Medical school, which has been my dream since childhood, as it’s a requirement to have an A for the application. It's so bad that the thought of it makes me nauseous.

My mom used to say, "What's the point of receiving the highest grades at school if you score that badly?" My dad called me a third grade student twice ( meaning like an extremely bad student ) and asked which university would ever take me in as I received those grades. My university has two similar courses like A levels and before giving the quizzes or exams I always panic and cry. My family is so tired of hearing me say all of this that it has affected me a lot because I have seen myself get compared with my siblings and friends. I wish I could move on but getting good grades in A levels had been such a long dream of mine that I can’t move on, I feel like such a failure, even now at university whenever I get a good grade or I feel like I know the content I feel like I am deceiving myself as I did so bad. I can’t move on.

I kind of need academical advice but I don’t know who to ask. I’m currently studying microbiology and the way my country’s education system goes is like we have to study all 12 months and the breaks we get is like max 2 weeks. So I am not even able to look for internship opportunities because my classes starts at like 9am and ends at 6pm and my breaks are not even that long. I am at the end of my first year so I am a bit confused also a bit panicked. My university offers an internship project at the very end of our 4/5 year program but that’s after graduating and I did get one offer for research but it was handed over to senior students. I am very confused about what I should do? Is there any microbiology online internships? If so, is it a good idea to try them? If there are any microbiology students here then can you help me out please 😭

ok whatever im just gonna say it bc it’s eating me alive

there’s this new girl in our class and idk what it is about her but she just walked in and everything shifted like she doesn’t even do anything she’s just THERE and everyone likes her. like for no reason. like she breathes and people are like omg she’s so cool. why. idk. she’s just that type

and ofc my crush who ive liked since like forever is now dating her bc of course he is. he used to talk to me a lot and now he’s always around her like following her around and laughing at everything she says and they have this whole thing now and i just sit there like 🙂👍

and the teachers too. they used to come to me for everything. all the responsibility stuff. like being class rep, helping plan things, helping other students. now they go to her. suddenly she’s the one everyone depends on and listens to and im just here like a background character in my own class. it’s like no one even noticed the switch. not even me. it just… happened

but here’s the worst part i CANT even be mad at her. bc she’s actually really really nice. like painfully nice. i was crying in the bathroom once and she literally waited outside until i came out and then she just hugged me and didn’t even ask anything. another time i didn’t have pads and she just handed me one silently like she knew without me saying a word. and when i skipped school she gave me these notes that were like?? perfect??? she literally wrote them in different colours and put small tips on the side and was like “tell me if anything doesn’t make sense”

she helped one of my friends through a breakup, helped another study for a test they were failing, she even gave her umbrella to someone last week when it rained and walked home soaked and didn’t even mention it again

everyone loves her and i get it. i really do. i love her too in the weirdest way like i want to be mad but she’s just so genuinely kind and i feel horrible for feeling this way but i do. i feel like im being erased. like everything i used to be good at is hers now. people used to come to me. now they don’t even look twice.

i was top of the class. she is now.

i used to be the one who helped. she is now.

and maybe it’s not her fault. maybe it’s mine. maybe i got too comfortable or too tired or too slow or idk. i just feel like i’m disappearing a bit more every day and nobody notices. not even me. until now.

but i swear to god im not gonna keep sitting here crying about it and pretending im fine. i’m done being quiet. done being small. i don’t hate her. but im not gonna let her take everything from me just bc i was too afraid to speak up

im coming back. slowly or loudly idk yet. but i am.

that’s it. idk why i wrote this here. just needed to say it somewhere.

PS. This isn't techically a "school story". The category options are annoyingly specific so I just chose a random one..

I have less than two years before I graduate highschool and I still don't know which university to apply to. Everytime I think of the future I get anxious. I don't even know if I'm gonna get the types of jobs I planned for and I haven't gotten other options. Then there's my mental health. I fear whatever mental issue I'm dealing with is gonna worsen in adulthood and I'm still too terrified to get a therapist. I can't tell my friends about my fear cause they won't understand (I told them once on Snapchat and one of them straight up told me to "stop bitching about it and just go do something". I just deleted the messages and cried.)

I'm also not yet comfortable telling my parents. (I wanna tell mom but she's pissed right now and I'm scared to go downstairs cause It'll be awkward.)

Part of me wants to just end it so I don't embarrass myself in the future.

I don't wanna see the comments honestly I'm just venting for no reason.

A few days ago there was a noticed from a school web site for trip. The condition was that to get prioritezed you needed to have good grades or have a hight level english. I have a really high level english and my grades are ok, lower than last year but still ok. I was thinking of trying It but then i talked with my friend who has even lower grades and she was really negative and started saying that we probably wouldn't get selected bc there were other with higher grades than us that It wasn't even worth trying. In the end only One other girl form my class went and had even lower grades than me but still got selected. So i Just wasted an oppurtinity bc i was insecure when i could've gotten selected and now i feel so stupid.

The worst part Is that It's not even the first time this year ( bc of insecurety and some other mental health issues) and now i feel like such an idiot for wasting oppurtinities like this.

The past few days It's been a bit harder to follow through with my habits and i haven't made much progress. And i felt stupid for messing everything up again. The past 2 days i've been trying to get back on track a bit. ( I've been Trying my best not to doomscroll and replacing with sketching + trying to reach my step count)

But not really sure If i'm getting anywhere with that. The first month of summer Is over and i'm not sure If i made any real progress. Or if maybe i'm doing well enough. Or fast enough. Or i'm doing the wrong things. Or Maybe i'm not even worth trying to fix stuff to begin with. I kept having dumb arguements with her the past few days one after the other. Honestly i feel like she does It on purpose sometimes. And i tried to ignore It, i try to make my day better and cheer myself up and be positive but i think she's right. I am selfish. I am stupid. And It's true that I can't really care about anything. I ruin and waste everything every single time no matter how much i try and want to treasure It. She's right. I'm just like him and i'm a bad person. There's really no point in trying to change anything if i'm evil to begin with.

It’s been 2 weeks since classes started and I’ve just been bombarded with activities, tests, more tests, group activities, quizzes and even more quizzes!

Im so overwhelmed, like wdym i need to manage 8 groups in 8 subjects? I don’t wanna have that responsibility.

Home is supposed to be the rest place right? FUCK NO. At home im asked to do chores, tasks and manage 5 animals?? ARENT THOSE YOUR PETS?? Why did they suddenly become mine?

“You barely do anything at home!” DAWG?? IM TOO OVERWHELMED TO DO ANYTHING. I NEED TO SCHEDULE WHAT SUBJECTS TO DO FIRST BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN CURRICULUM.

I HOPE that I’ll eventually get used to this fuckass schedule because im so close to genuinely jumping

Anyways! Byes 😛

So it's summer and the past few school year i have been really burnt out. I got very little sleep, I could barely get out bed i was often overwhelmed and stressed out and i didn't know what to do. There are so many things I want to do this summer with the base line of wanting to improve myself and get out of burnt out. But i didn't really know how to do that. Still don't tbh. So i tried to put some good habits in my routine (waking up naturaly, no screens untill after breakfast, going to bed at around 23 or so, having breakfast outside.) And in the last few days i tried to slowly add a few more like reaching my step count and reading just a few pages before bed. And a i tried 'studying' the pages i've read (basically like i would've If It was school material) and It was actually pretty relaxing + i found It interessing and i wanted to. But somedays, like today i didn't do anything in particular. My sleep Is getting troubled again and i've been going to bed a little later and waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep and Just feeling really panicky and anxious and barely being able to breathe. Like right now. It's 7:45 am and i can't go back sleep. I'm tired and sleepy, everything feels upsetting and too much even going back to sleep Is too hard, i'm too restless and anxious. But i don't know what to do about It. It just feels so horrible because I felt like this, this tired, this stuck, this horrible and anxious for years now. Around 5 year specifically. During and outside school time. And i was getting excited because I thought that It was finally over that this was finally It and that I was finally making progress but i am not. I'm still waking up like this and crying in the middle of the night and i this feel just as bad and i Just feel so stupid because i don't know what Is wrong with me. I've told to talk about, with a loved one maybe, preferably with a professional. I can't quite do either. I tried bringing It up to loved one but they shot me down before i could even finish. And just blamed It on my period. (This happened years ago btw) For the record, This has been going on everyday for 5 years. I know It's not my period. And i'm scared that If i insist It and at the very try to explain the problem will spark an arguement. Or that they'll use It against me. (I'm sure they will.) + Honestly i think they'll just say "It's Just the weather" or "you're too young to have these problems." Like yeah. Cool. I know. How the f. do i solve It then. Help me for f sake. Anyway. As for talking to a professional, that might even be harder. Cause i doubt i could find said professional in the first place. I did try once. I found a therapist that was doing extra hours at my school for some extra money. I brought It up to her. Multiple times. Tried explaining It as clearly as i could. But she Just dismissed It. And It was clear she didn't care. There might. MIGHT be a chance i could maybe find someone else? Somehow. But i doubt i will. I'll try at least. But i'm not sure. I don't see It happening. I'm so tired of this. It's been going on for too long. I just want to feel normal again. Everything Is too much, too tiring, too loud, too bright, too early. And i honestly lost any real enjoyment in everything. Even in things I liked. I can barely sleep right at night cause i either wake up like this or have a lot of nightmares during the night. I've read that sometimes It's about figuring out if you're being true yourself ig? Like if you're actually doing what you really wanted to. If you're actually fullfilling you're 'true desires' and sticking with your values and what truly matters TO YOU or whatever. honestly. Right now? Of the top of my head? No. I'm not. This isn't the school i wanted to go to. This isn't what i wanted to do. This isn't what i wanted to study. And i lie to my family about my true 'goals' after i'm done with school bc i know they'll judge and won't approve. I'm ok-ish in this. But i don't really like It. I didn't really want to do this. And i consired changing multiple times. But It's too late now. So i just gotta finish It. Tbh, i knew i would hate this and regret this when i started years ago. But It's what my family wanted me to do. And i couldn't bring myself to say no. I'm not saying that If I was in another school everything would have been different and miraculously i would've been cured. Maybe i would've hated It too. Maybe i would've felt just as bad there. But at least it would've been my choice. Or maybe i'm Just stupid and all this Is useless. Idk. I Just want to feel better.

So it's summer and the past few school year i have been really burnt out. I got very little sleep, I could barely get out bed i was often overwhelmed and stressed out and i didn't know what to do. There are so many things I want to do this summer with the base line of wanting to improve myself and get out of burnt out. But i didn't really know how to do that. Still don't tbh. So i tried to put some good habits in my routine (waking up naturaly, no screens untill after breakfast, going to bed at around 23 or so, having breakfast outside. And in the last few days i tried to slowly add a few more like reaching my step count and reading just a few pages before bed. And a i tried 'studying' the pages i've read (highlighting and making notes mostly) just cause, no real big reason just cause i found It interessing and i wanted to. And to be fair, It felt good. I felt really good. But today, i didn't do anything in particular. And i woke up at 5 am feeling restless and anxious and like i couldn't breathe. It's currently June the 24th, 6 am, i can't sleep anymore, i feel like i can't breathe tight, everything feels upsetting and too much even going back to sleep Is too hard, but i don't know what to do about It. It just feels so horrible because I felt like this, this tired, this stuck, this horrible and anxious for years now. During and outside school time. And i was getting excited because I thought that It was finally over that this was finally It and that I was finally making progress but i am not. I'm still waking up like this and crying in the middle of the night and i this feel just as bad and i Just feel so stupid because i don't know what Is wrong with me.