Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 50

First time doing this so bare with me.

I have a hard time forming connections with people, and when I do, I keep them at arms length. At first I thought I was just socially anxious I am but. The more I think about it and trauma around my past. I feel like if I form any deep connections with other people, I feel like if I expose my past (that's filled with abuse from family members) I believe they will take advantage of me or they'll view me as something that I know I'm not. But, feels confirming and believable, I feel like I am used and broken, and no one wants to hang out with a broken person like me so I just keep it in until it burst out and everyone stops and looks. "Like wow a stable guy in my life turns out to be a emotional loser." I don't vent to anyone and if I do it's just simple things in life to be negative about. But my trauma is borderline some kids edgy character backstory on deviantart. So in turn it's too much to handle. I feel too much to handle. I feel like I need to prove my worth over and over, like I am worth loving and given attention. But, some days I feel like an annoying abused dog, I get happy and I get excited when I see someone but if something triggers me I bark and bite. I feel too much and trying to get help, but with me always pushing away people I have no support group and just professionals that are just there to be professionals. I pushed away my recent ex because she hurt me but I feel like I ruined everything for getting hurt. I don't know, everything feels confusing but I know I will eventually get better but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, you know?

My life is not going well. I feel like I'm fat but I can't tell others because otherwise others will think I just want attention. Then my best friend (s) likes the same guy as me and everyone says that "S and T are perfect together, they should be girlfriend and boyfriend" and I just have to be there and agree with everyone else. It's hard when I hate S but at the same time I want to be his bff. I scolded myself a few days ago because my siblings keep suggesting that I'm fat, especially my older brother (E). The worst thing is that I'm being shipped with my crush's best friend (K). I feel like I'm just a side character in S's life. If I told others that I had a crush on T, others wouldn't take it well. 5.12.2024. I've tried to show my friends that I'm not feeling well. My real best friend (p) had seen my wounds on my arm but hadn't realized anything. We were talking about how some people cut themselves yesterday at dinner and I said "you shouldn't cut yourself, it feels painful." But I guess it never occurred to anyone at that table to think how I would know what it feels like. I'm happy it's Christmas. Now I can wear long shirts all the time to hide my wounds. I don't WANT to be s's best friend but if I wasn't his friend I would lose p because p wants to be both of our bffs

Trigger warning: Loss and suicidal thoughts.

Being a 29 year old male, I fucked up my life so far.

I had depression and aniexty from my adolescent years that's been with me to this day. My mental issues has stopped me from finishing my college education, dating and working for most of my adult life. At age 19 I dropped out of college and threw away my close friends to become a gaming recluse. My parents worried for my future but I just just wasted my days away, planning to end my life at age 25.

At 20 I started taking care of my grandma who watched me in my younger years. She was the only reason I stayed alive. I was paid by the state to care for her, so I spent the next 9 years of my life caring for her as I became a hermit. I was with her for 5 days of the week; taking her to appointments, bathing, cleaning, and just checking up with her often. She cared for me back by feeding me, hanging out watching movies, talked, and gave me a grandparents' love.

At age 25 I fought the urge to kill myself. I contemplated a long time if I should still carry out my plan. In the end, I decided not to because of my grandmother. Without me, she wouldn't have help to live her own life. Around this time I reconnected with my friends and life seemed better.

At age 26 I needed better Healthcare insurance, so I started working another job. I was prepared to fail, become a social outcast, and be judged for being a depressed mess. I was wrong. I was more capable than I though; I excelled at my tasks and spoke to both colleagues and clients reasonably well. Sure, I had awkward first interactions and conversations.. But it wasn't all the time.

At 27 I got into a car accident that gave me a concussion. I still suffer side effects from this injury to this day. I'm not as mentally fast, more forgetful, and can't intake information nor speech from others well. My life is still spiraling down from this; with some of the aforementioned effects worsening some days.

At 29 my grandma moved away to live with other family; my dad wanted his siblings to do their part as her kids and care for her too. She passed 3 months after moving away. 4 months after she passed I resigned from my job. My work stress, depression, and aniexty was at a all time high. I was unable to sleep, suffered from chest pains/eratic heartbeats from stress, couldn't socialize with others well, and was not getting any work done.

I regret this decision.

Sure, I feel mentally clear now, but having no income and not able to find a job is worsening my mental again. I tried trading futures recentl6 but I only lost money due to my impatience.

Nowadays, I don't want to wake up. I spend my days lazing around in bed as I apply for jobs, attempt trading but to only lose my meager savings, and try to think of reasons to live. My current reasons are for my family and friends.. I can't imagine what they'll go through if I ever commit.

I hope to find a job by January; that's when my funds will be dried up. Until then, I'll try to start back a routine and care for my physical health again. Maybe I'll try running again.

Thank you for reading.. Oh, and if this story was on TV, would you watch it? Do you think the main character will enjoy life again and find a job? I hope he does, I don't want this story to end soon.

Four months back, I found myself jobless after an unexpected layoff from a tech company. Having always taken pride in my work, this was a major blow to my self-esteem, and I've been grappling with a sort of identity crisis, discussing these issues with my therapist. However, I've always disliked idleness and yearned for the structure my routine job provided, which pushed me to start applying for new roles diligently. After several interviews that didn't result in job offers, I finally had a promising opportunity with a company I admired.

About a week ago, I received an invitation to participate in a time-sensitive written test as part of the job application process. Knowing my tendency to get nervous under pressure, I prepared intensively. I also emphasized to my husband, Henry, the importance of complete solitude during the hour-long test—I needed that duration uninterrupted. He seemed to have understood the crucial nature of my request.

On the day of the test, I secluded myself in our home office, the door firmly shut, hoping to ward off any disruptions. As the test progressed and the final fifteen minutes loomed, my anxiety peaked. Despite the intense preparation, I was under immense pressure to perform well. That's when Henry burst into the room muttering, "sorry ignore me ignore me." Panic set in as I tried to focus on my work, and I immediately asked him to leave. Instead, he began rummaging through the desk drawers, further invading my already frazzled concentration. Overwhelmed, I finally snapped, raising my voice to demand he leave immediately, which he did with a dramatic door slam.

After completing the test, I sought him out to apologize, explaining the stress I was under and reminding him of our agreement. However, Henry felt I had overreacted and couldn't grasp why I was making "such a big deal" out of his brief interruption. Now, over a day has passed, and he hasn’t let it go, still simmering with resentment.

In a scenario like this, had it been captured on a reality TV show, the scene might have been dramatically amplified. The cameras would have focused on the tension in the room, possibly even replaying the moment of my outburst multiple times. Viewers might have seen confessionals where each of us explained our side, adding to the drama. Reality shows thrive on these moments of intense emotion and misunderstanding, often blowing them up to entertain the audience. One might wonder if the audience would sympathize with my need for professional calm or lambaste me for my reaction under stress...

For starters, I am a 16 year old boy who has a lot of friends, plays football and I live with my mom, dad and older sister. I am 5’8 or so, and I have weight issues. Nothing crazy, I’m around 196 pounds but my big issue is that I have serious confidence issues. I think it’s derived from my friends making fun of my weight too often. I get hurt from them but I don’t know how to stop them. They just don’t seem to care about my feelings. But beside that, I feel alone in the love department. I have never kissed anyone let alone had a talking stage. But lately I have been hanging out one on one with this girl Isabel, who has been my childhood friend for nine years now, and I’ve liked her since I met her. I’ve never felt any way about anyone the way I feel about her, but she’s conventionally attractive. She gets so much attention from boys who look way better than me. On top of that she goes to these parties where everyone gets drunk and fuck around with each other if yk what I mean. We share such a deep connection and I’ve never shared such a connection with anyone else. I was planning on telling her I liked her, and right when I was, a kid on my football team went behind my back and started talking to her. By the time I wanted to ask, she was already making out with him. Meanwhile I am all alone in my room. It’s not even like I wanted to just make out with her. I just wanted to have someone to cuddle with. To care for, and to spend time with. Being alone is the worst thing I’ve ever felt and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I could drop my friends. But I can’t drop her. When I found out she was talking to my “friend” I told her how I felt on text while in my anger and then we stopped hanging out. That was 2 months ago. Recently she asked if we could hang out. Guess what we talked about, how the guy she was talking to treated her bad. I wish she could just see that none of those guys like her for her personality, or any of the things that makes her special, but simply because of her looks. But, after we hung out guess what, I start to like her again. And I think we will hang out again, but it just feels like I keep asking her and she doesn’t even return anything. We haven’t hung out in a bit and I hate it. I want to talk to her on the beach while listening to Mac Demarco like we used to, but no. She just won’t make time for me. I’m so unimportant to her. She will drop plans with me so she can do other things and go to parties and I hate it. I just want love. I hate being alone having no one to love or care for. She’s been stuck on my mind for so long and I just can’t get over her. I’m sick of it. It feels like she’s playing games with me and I’m so done with it. Why can’t she just like me. Why do I have so many uncontrollable things in my life? My height? My baby face? And my depression? I just need someone. I say I’ll push through it and that this is a sign to push myself and work on myself for myself. And it probably is. But I’m just eating like shit every day and I need to change that. I don’t know if this rant has even made sense or if anyone will read it but yea. That’s my story. Someone push me to change please. I hate being alone.

I don't know where else to vent, I feel like I've unloaded enough on a friend of mine and don't want to burden him any longer so...

My Grandma passed away not too long ago and there's some drama going on about the will. Apparently, some aunts and uncles have been manipulating Grandma to give them more things or be given things that other people have taken better care of. Like my cousin wanted to buy Grandma's house after she was moved out of it and she was willing to sell. But then some aunts got in her ear and made her make my cousin pay more for the house. One of the aunts said I would be named in the inheritance, my Mom thinks it's because Dad died and his portion would be split with his kids. She told me not to sign off on anything.

Then again I've heard her non-stop complaining about everything about Dad's side of the family which increased after he died. Pretty much have been discouraged from talking to anyone other than a select few she likes. Part of me understands considering some drama but also feel like she doesn't have the best judgement. She tends to talk down to me even though I'm an adult now and constantly calls me wet behind the ears even when I express interest in going outside my comfort zone and doing new experiences to be not so wet. But of course, she's the Mom and I'm the child so in her opinion she seems to know everything and she's always right, and I'm always wrong. When she asked for my credit card password and I said no she was all "Thank you for trusting me." But who in their right mind would share their credit card password with anyone? Who knows where that info will end up? Then there was the time in high school when I started having a tough time and asked if I could go to the doctor's to see if I had depression. But of course, she said no, I didn't have depression because I didn't act like she did when she had depression. Later I would get so nervous about school that I would get physically ill and I eventually called the doctor myself. And what do you know, I was prescribed anti-depressants. Recently, I was diagnosed with blood clots in my lungs but before that, I had a really bad cold that even took away my voice for a bit. But one night it got so bad I couldn't sleep and my chest was in serious pain. I had a bad feeling so I called 811, they suggested I get Mom to take me to a hospital. I tried to get her to but she refused, insisting it wasn't that serious. But it didn't get better and after half an hour I called a cab to take me to the hospital. There I was diagnosed with pneumonia and stayed there for just over a week, even spent two days in the ICU. When Mom finally came she was all apologetic but when I was checked out I learned she told relatives and friends the reason she didn't take me was because I wasn't clear enough. Even though both the 811 operator and cab driver saw it was urgent and that I was having trouble breathing. It was clear enough for them but not for her?

I believe she thinks I'm a goddamn idiot and so naive I need to have my hand held for every goddamn thing. If I could move out and cut out most people from the family I could but apparently I was hit with anti-employer spray because I can't get a job in my field to save my life. I feel useless but also feel like I could snap at any second. When I tell Mom how I feel, she turns it around and says it's my own fault for feeling that way. When I tell my siblings they either go on about how both sides are to blame or take Mom's side. The same Mom that screamed at them for other things, including one where she threatened to disinherit one of them from Dad's will for not doing what she wants. Granted it involved staying with a not-so-great romantic partner but her having a fucking meltdown only pushed that sibling further into the arms of the fucking creep so it took longer for my sibling to finally break it off with that jerk.

I do have a therapist that I talk to but he's not cheap and I leave still feeling furious. He does give good advice but I never feel myself in the right headspace to act on said advice.

It feels like I'm in a fucking soap opera only the people around me seem to think I'm oblivious to the whole shitshow. It feels like I'm one bad day away from exploding and I don't know how to defuse this timebomb.

I was supposed to graduate law school and take the bar this year but I failed my first and only subject with this terror professor. I was the only one who failed their class and I felt that it was a bit unfair. While they're a terror professor, they are admired by a lot of people in that subject field in law and they were called the gatekeeper (meaning they would really fail you if they think you are not ready for the bar).

Why do I feel it was unfair? Well, my batchmates who graduated and took the bar had two failing subjects (not the same subject as the one I failed) but they were allowed to have to take an exam to pass it. This professor didn't want to talk to me and deferred me to the Dean, and again, with their reputation as the all-knowing person in that subject, they didn't give me a chance. It was a really hard year for me as I was already preparing for the bar and I had to hide the truth for quite some time with my family as, again, this is my first ever failure. It didn't really help that a certain student also had similar grades with me but I was the one that had to get cut-off. I couldn't really continue to vent to my boyfriend (who is also a student and passed his subject - apparently he is this prof's favorite) and we had an argument about how I am not really blaming him for failing the subject but it kinda feels like it is because I am just so frustrated with myself.

I already retook the subject (with a different professor because they weren't available to teach it) and passed but now, they are saying that this terror prof might be my professory again next semester. We don't have any other sections as our law school is cutthroat so there really isn't a choice for me to do anything but take the subject. But I don't know how to cope. This person literally crushed my dream as there was no effort for them to give me a chance and I couldn't really move on as I only had a week before the start of the second semester and during summer, I had to help my friends who were taking the bar. It hurt, I felt deeply hurt. I don't know what to do.

Hi, I don't know where to start but with this: My English and grammar sucks, please do not judge, just listen. I have been diagnosed with depression (MDD) and anxiety (GAD) just to give you a heads up.

My life is a total mess, from school, friends, and my own free time. I'm a whole mess. For about 3 weeks now, everyone who interacts with me (friends and family, too) I get super mad at. They don't even do anything, but everything about their presense makes me mad. When they talk to me (or attempt too), touch me (hugs, etc), or contact me. I just want to yell at them to go away, but it's hard in school and at home. I can't just pause and tell them to go away for the next 2 weeks until everything feels normal again. I love my friends and family but I can't deal with them at the moment and I don't know why. I feel 1 emotion: irritation. 24/7, all day, every day. I can't escape it. I want to be able to talk to people without feeling like I'm going to explode with anger. It's not fun, and before anyone says "selfish", I still listen or talk to them even when I really can't. I suck it up. Doesn't help though.

Another thing, I think people think I'm rude. I have bad humour, that's how I grew up. I grew up around bad jokes and I just grew onto them. My humour isn't like outrageously rude, I have morals, and you can tell when I'm joking. But people complain about it, or stare at me after I jokingly respond to something they say. They never mention anything though, they never tell me what I did wrong. So I keep doing it until someone has a "serious talk" about it with me saying that "this person" doesn't like the jokes I'm making and they feel sensitive to them. I don't understand why it takes people so long to say something, I'm not a rude person. I can understand if you don't want me to do something. But thats how I'm portrayed, as a rude/mean person who only cares about herself. But that's not even close to true. They don't know who I am or what my story is. I grew up ignoring my emotions and putting others first for the first 15 years of my life (Yes, when I was younger too). I finally started to listen to myself but I'm put into the box of "selfish". All I am doing is putting me first and listening to myself. My safety and wellbeing is my number one priority from now on since it got destroyed over the past years. People hate on me in secrecy and I can see it. They whisper or comment. I'm not a stereotypical "weird kid", I'm more on the popular side if anything. But every group says something, but they don't know me. I'm honestly so sweet. I suck it up for my friends. Literally every new friend I make, they say "I kinda thought you were rude but you're actually really sweet."

I'm just so done with everyone and their assumptions they make about me. There's so many assumptions. Why are we assuming peoples stories? You don't know what I've been through.

that feeling of burnout. have you ever felt that? that state wherein you are constantly being pushed and pulled away by sadness and happiness. it’s weighing up on me. i don’t think i can make it in the long run :)

I hurt my friends seriously and now they likely can’t stand me. They still follow me on Instagram and are friends with me on discord, not to mention reply to my messages on Instagram but it’s sparingly.

I will be frank, I have serious attachment issues that reared their ugly head. I had introduced them and was jealous they got close and lashed out on them unfairly. I honestly didn’t know about these issues but after doing introspection I figured that out.

We were in a writing community that the three of us ran, I created it, on discord. I took a hiatus saying I’d be back in January but every night I am anxious and can’t sleep. I am irritable, jealous, depressed, and on the verge of tears everyday. I don’t vent to them like I used to, and I don’t talk about my full pains bc I feel like they’ll think I’m judging them. But idk what to do.

I feel like they hate me and would be better off without me. And I love and cherish them so much I am constantly beating myself up.

I just needed a place to rant this out without the other side being a loved one or friend….I’m not well, I go to therapy twice a week at this point and the more I’m aware of how my mind works, what makes me tic, the more my thoughts race and I close off from loved ones. My history with relationships hasn’t been a great one, littered with bad endings and abusive partners…it’s like I’m a magnet for negative energy. I’m trying to heal but with my recent finding of I’m going threw PMDD (just putting a name to the mental hell I was already going threw) I feel hyper away of my thoughts and my emotional spirals and I can’t help to think my loved ones lie to me when they say I’m not a burden and it’s ok….im sure they’d drop me for someone more stable who involved less work…so I sit here and cry thinking it would just be easer to be in another abusive relationship so I wouldn’t worry about being a burden…that it was just the treatment my broken mind deserved and I could forever just live in this chaos I seem to feel calm in vs being always unsettled in the tamed relaxed environment I’m finding in my recent relationships….its just easer to be used then loved is how my brain takes it…what would you do if your mind just wanted to relax in the arms of the ones who abused you?

You know, today has genuinely felt unreal. From waking up in the morning scrolling constantly without a signle muscle to pull me out until 10, to searching for job applications in hopes of eating away at my time in other ways, I felt like I have been aimlessly floating in this world without a single care. I currently have a girlfriend, and think about what could've been with my ex no mattter how much time passes. I feel like i'm going crazy, and I feel so dead. I don't know where to aim myself, and constantly strive to look for ways to become a better person, but the same feeling still exists deep inside of me. I also want to share that, me and my ex talked for months, and I felt like the way things ended were so quick that I was unable to gain closure, and no matter what I do, every girl for the rest of my life will be a rebound. does anyone know ways of being constantly productive. I want to live a life I can look back on, and smile at.

I don’t even know where to start. Lately, I’ve been feeling so off, like no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to shake this heaviness. Everything feels wrong, and I keep asking myself, why am I so unhappy? On paper, my life isn’t bad. I have a decent job, friends, a place to live. But none of it feels like enough, and it’s driving me crazy.

Every morning, I wake up and feel like I’m already losing the day before it even begins. I hit snooze on my alarm way too many times, not because I’m tired (though I usually am) but because I don’t want to get up. The thought of going to work, dealing with people, and pretending everything’s fine is just... exhausting. By the time I actually drag myself out of bed, I’m already late, which makes me even more frustrated with myself.

At work, it’s the samee routine every day. Emails, meetings, more emails. Everyone around me seems fine—like they’re just going through the motions without a problem. But for me, every task feels like climbing a mountain. I can’t focus, and when I finally get something done, it’s like, “Who cares?” It’s not like anyone notices anyway.

Even my social life feels hollow. I have friends, and we hang out sometimes, but it’s like I’m not really there. We’ll go to dinner, and while they’re all laughing and catching up, I’m just sitting there, forcing a smile and nodding along. Half the time, I don’t even hear what they’re saying because my mind is somewhere else—usually spiraling into some weird loop of self-doubt and overthinking. Then I go home and wonder why I feel so lonely when I was literally just surrounded by people.

My family tries to check in sometimes, but it’s hard to talk to them about this stuff. They always ask, “What’s wrong?” but I don’t have an answer. It’s not like there’s one big thing I can point to and say, “This is why I’m unhappy.” It’s just this constant, nagging feeling that something’s missing. When I try to explain that, they either look at me like I’m being dramatic or tell me I just need to “think positive” and “be grateful.” I get it—they’re trying to help—but it makes me feel even worse, like I’m ungrateful for the life I have.

The worst part is, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to have hobbies, things I was passionate about. I loved drawing, hiking, and binge-watching trashy reality TV (ironically, right?). But now? Even the thought of doing those things feels exhausting. I don’t have the energy, and when I try to force myself, it just feels empty. It’s like I’ve lost the spark I used to have, and I don’t know how to get it back.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m just broken. Like, maybe this is just who I am—someone who’s always going to feel unhappy no matter what. I’ve tried journaling, meditating, even exercising (though I gave up on that pretty quickly). Nothing seems to work. I’ve thought about going to therapy, but the idea of opening up to a stranger about all this feels overwhelming. What if they can’t help me either? Then what?

I wish I knew what was wrong with me. Is it my job? My relationships? Am I just not cut out for this whole “adulting” thing? I see people my age on social media traveling, getting engaged, starting businesses, and I can’t help but compare myself to them. It feels like everyone else has it figured out, and I’m just... stuck.

hat people would think if my life was a reality show?? Would they see me as the sad, boring character who’s always complaining for no reason? Or would they feel sorry for me, like, “Wow, she really needs to get her life together”? Honestly, I don’t even know which one is worse. Part of me thinks they’d just change the channel because, let’s face it, who wants to watch someone mope around all day?

If anyone out there feels like this too, I’d love to know how you deal with it. how do you stop feeling like you’re just going through the motions? How do you figure out what’s making you so unhappy when everything looks fine on the surface? Because right now, I feel like I’m stuck in this endless cycle, and I don’t know how to break out of it.

Well I met her for the first time in university, we were not friends right away it took us some time to become friends and now we are best friends, let's call her Lily It's been a year or so, I don't usually trust people but I gave her a chance I still don't know why, I never had this strong feeling about her betraying me.

Lately, something happened between us but before that let me tell you what kind of friendship we have: (I have financial problems and someone spending money on me is a big deal for me but it is her love language according to her) She is from a rich family so she takes me out and pays without even asking me, there are multiple occasions I insisted on paying she did not let me, I tell her that I feel bad it feels like I am using her for money. Still, she would tell me it was fine and all I usually back out whenever she offered to go out and eat but she told me she does not have any other friends who would treat her like me, I am just honest about things and she is quite dumb when making serious decisions. Hence, she asks for my help mostly and trusts me that I won't misguide her and I try my entire best to not misguide her, I don't give her advice that she should choose this or that I just tell her that these are choices and these are their consequences if possible she decides by herself.

now there is this other friend of ours who we will call Cactus (yes I don't like him )

he is very manipulative and he likes to be the center of attention always, he wants us to treat him like royalty even when he is the one needing our help remind you this is a grown-ass adult who might be around 25 he is older than both of us by 5 to 6 years, he has this massive ego which is very fragile.

well, Lily is very easily manipulated like very easily, if you tell her she did wrong even tho she didn't she will think she did wrong. and like I said it's her love language to spend money on people around her, she used to pay for cactus's food initially later she stopped Idk why,

whenever I tell her that Cactus is making me feel left out and I don't enjoy sitting with him and all, she understands not always but usually and we both would sit separately, I don't mind sitting alone but she won't leave me, even tho in the start she was closer to cactus than with me, but she would leave with me

this made Cactus not like me(I would be ignored in group conversations and all, and he made me feel lonely ), he thinks I'm the one telling her not to sit with him, I prefer to have as few people around me as possible while cactus wants us to sit with a huge crowd like 15 to 20 people, I don't enjoy large companies nor do I tell lily to tag along with me I don't mind it because I get overwhelmed with all these people and then cactus targeting me in front of all. there are multiple occasions he blamed me for Lily's actions, lily did defend me on multiple occasions but sometimes they were not enough she does not let me get away from him she knows I prefer not to argue over little things that's why I ignore him

cactus not only targets me he also doesn't like another girl,l Rose, cactus knows about her past mistakes and all, but he also used to tell BS behind her back all the time, he is so manutiplive he made her appear like a very bad person in front of her, later on, we girls started to hang out which made both me and lily realize she is not at all like what we heard from cactus instead we got to know that he is backbiting behind every single of us with one another,

there was this scene that was the main cause of my and Lily's downfall or so I think

some other friends including Lily were studying together there came the cactus along with a friend who is a damn creep, they asked us to let them join us for studying (cactus is not at all good at studying nor does he puts effort in studying but he acts almighty like "see I didn't study properly and still cleared the course" I'm like yea sure if grace marks are considered good sure be proud of yourself)

a day before this cactus asked me if I would help me study I said yes because it would help me revise too we had this conversation fofourike 4 times in a single day and every time I told him k I would help you out when I was done with the group study, what happened was that he was constantly disturbing and was annoying, others who were studying told him not to do it I did too I was exactly yelling or screaming or anything this sort I just was telling him to stop he didn't listen, creep whisper something in his ear and they got up and went away, then I did with my study I asked him over texts that I'm free, he told me that he was there to study not anymore I said okay whatever you want,

he called Lily and told her that I was extremely rude to him in front of all the people and that I think he won't be able to study without me, and even in texts, I was rude to him.

She texted me defending him over me even tho she was present there too that I wasn't the only one telling him to shut up or go away, she didn't believe me she said yea you were rude to him especially, I was devasted I responded normally like okay we will talk about this later.

I hated that she refused to believe me over him and she knows I never refuse anyone if they want me to help them out in studying and nor do I say things like they need me to help them or else they won't have a chance, she believed him.

I overlooked this but there is a thing that happened it's not related to me or Lily, it's about Rose well cactus knows her secrets and all (I don't judge her on anything those were mistakes or simply just her choices she didn't hurt anyone with these choices)

he had told everyone about it rose is unaware that people who she thinks are her friends are always judging her every move, the creepy friend of Cactus said something so terrible about Rose in front of Lily and Cactus, Lily told him off and not to say such things while cactus was laughing

Lily told me about it, and I told Rose about it because it was so terrible, and if I were in her shoes I would want to know about their true colors too

Lily got mad at me saying that she trusted me on this, i am wrong here in that I broke Lily's trust and told Rose about it, i did it in front of Lily to avoid any misunderstanding, i apologized to Lily for this but I don't regret telling rose about his true colors rose showed us cactus's chats with her being a sweet innocent man praising her and all while telling us the exact opposite of this, later lily said something I will never forget she said "cactus talks about rose behind her back and all but he is my friend he doesn't do it behind so it does not matter to me "

I was shocked to my core, cactus tells everyone about everyone's secret even his girlfriend's and she thinks he will not do this to her

what should I do now I'm scared to leave Lily alone with him, he will do unthinkable things, and she won't even realize

but I don't want to be around him

ik I broke her trust but rose does not deserve any of this either why should she suffer just because cactus wants to look like Mr know it all

I am a 15 year old boy and a junior in highschool. I am pretty introverted so I only recently managed to grow a pair and go to a real party. I drank a bit of alcohol while I was there and it made me a lot braver and bolder than I otherwise would have been. Another boy asked me to dance with him and my drunk self did something my sober self never would have done and said yes. The loud music and flashing lights disoriented me as we clung to eachother on the dance floor and stumbled around. After we were done he kissed me. That made me realize what just happened. At first I was surprised and a bit disgusted but those feelings were replaced by bliss when i realized how good it felt. I leaned in closer, kissing him agsin. The rest is a bit of a blur. I know I eventually somehow managed to sneak back home. Right now I just feel really confused and guilty because I liked what happened and I didn't want to like it.