Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 51

i swear im not tryin to be dramatic or like make it all about me or whatever but like lately i just feel so invisible around my own friends. like we all in this group chat, right? nd we always been close, since like 8th grade or somethin. but now its like they all hang out without me nd pretend like its no big deal. they post pics together, go to the mall, get food, even do sleepovers nd im just there scrollin my phone like… cool. guess my invite got lost again. nd what hurts the most is that they dont even say anything about it after. no "sorry we forgot to ask u" or "u should come next time!" just silence. nd when i bring it up all i get is “oh it wasn’t really planned” or “it just sorta happened” like girl be fr, stuff dont “just happen” when u got matching outfits in the pic.

maybe it’s me tho. maybe i’m too quiet or weird or not fun enough. i dont got the best clothes or the prettiest hair or the funniest jokes. i try to be there for them always, like i hype them up, i listen when they got problems, i show up to stuff when they do remember to include me. but somehow it always feels like i’m on the outside. like a guest in a group that i used to be part of. like they all moved on nd i’m still here tryna hold on to somethin that ain’t even real anymore. nd then i start thinkin like, was i ever really their friend?? or was i just there, like background noise, someone they talked to when it was convenient but never really mattered to them?

the worst is when i see them laughin all hard in videos together or taggin each other in inside jokes. nd i’m sittin there like… ok cool guess i wasnt there for that moment either. nd i kno its dumb to get upset over social media, but when that’s the only way u find out your friends are hangin without u, it kinda stings different. nd then when i try to act like it dont bother me, they act like nothin happened. like we still tight. but it don’t feel tight. it feels fake. it feels like i’m holdin onto old memories while they makin new ones without me in it.

i been tryna figure out if i did something wrong. did i say something? act weird? maybe i’m annoying and no one wanna say it. maybe i’m just not enough for them anymore. nd it messes with my head fr. makes me scared to reach out first cuz what if they’re just being polite when they reply? what if they hang out again nd just don’t say anything bc they dont wanna deal with me bein upset? i hate feelin like i’m too much and not enough at the same time. nd the thing is i love them. i really do. they were like sisters to me. but lately i dont even recognize our friendship.

it makes me wanna pull away, like maybe if i stop trying so hard they’ll notice. but what if they dont? what if i stop texting nd no one even checks on me? what if i disappear nd it dont even matter? that’s what scares me the most. not being missed. being so easy to replace that my absence feels like peace instead of pain to them. nd i know that sounds heavy but its how i feel. i used to laugh with them every single day, we shared secrets, cried together, planned our futures. now it’s just awkward convos nd quick replies. nd me, watching from the sidelines.

so yeah, i dont kno why i’m the friend that gets left out. maybe i’m just not the kind of person people wanna keep around. maybe i care too much, feel too deep, talk too soft. but it hurts. it hurts more than i can say. nd i wish someone would just tell me the truth instead of slowly pushing me away like i wouldn’t notice. bc i did. i noticed everything. every missed invite. every picture i wasn’t in. every laugh that didn’t include me. i saw it all. nd even if i smile and act like i’m okay, i’m not. i’m really not.

My friend is deliberately ignoring me for reasons I can't explain. I've just kind of shut off the world. My voice stopped working so I can't talk to him to let him know how I feel. I just feel like a horrible person. I can't do life anymore. I can't find any reason to stay alive anymore. Either I'm going to kms or run away. Probably the former.

Why won't you talk to me? Did I do something to upset you? Do you not like the pins I made you anymore? I mean, if you don't like them, you can give them back or throw them out, I won't mind. I only spent 30 minutes drawing and colouring and cutting out and laminating each one just for you. But I mean, if you don't like them, I'll take them back. I'll throw them out, because they weren't good enough for you. I honestly have your best interests in minds.

Or is it something else I did? Did I say something bad? Did I upset you? Please just let me know what I did. Let me try to fix myself. I'm obviously broken. So let me know the ways I'm broken, so I can fix myself! I want to be the friend you want me to be. Let me know how I can change. Tell me how to be what you want me to be. I'll gladly change for you! All I need to make those changes is for you to tell me what's wrong, what I can change about myself, how I can help.

I can tell it's not you who's the problem. You still talk with the others like there's nothing wrong. It's just me you ignore. So obviously, I'm the broken one. Just let me know how I can be fixed. Please?

so today I had a really late bus so I missed the beginning of the day and got to school closer to the end of homeroom. When we were transitioning to related arts, I noticed one of my friends acting weird. He was being almost antisocial. I caught up with him and asked him if he was ok, and he nodded. This was weird, because he's usually really talkative.

Later, when we were going to our second related arts (which me and him share), I was busy typing something on my Chromebook and didn't notice him standing in the middle of the hall waiting for someone or something, but he didn't try to get my attention or anything. So I just went to the band locker room and got my instrument, not giving it any thought. But as I was leaving the locker room with my instrument to go to the band room, he was laughing and chatting like normal with one of our other friends who's also in band with us. Once again, I didn't think much of it.

But after class, during transition, he wouldn't even look at me, but was laughing and chatting as usual with some of our other friends. I was busy fangirling over Kpop idols with the Kpop half of the friendgroup (our friendgroup has two halves: us Kpop fans, and what I call the Freaky Ones), so I didn't pay much attention, but now that I'm sitting in class thinking about it... he was acting really weird. Usually me and him talk a lot, but he hasn't said a word to me today.

I've had many arguments with him in the past, but we always forgive each other. But today, he seems upset with me for reasons I can't explain. I haven't even had an argument with him lately. I'm just so confused. Honestly I'd rather he just tell me what I did so I can fix it, rather than ignore me and let me try to guess what I did to upset him. Literally, he knows the best way to handle any problems he has with me because of a little incident at the beginning of the year that resulted in me bawling my eyes out in confusion, so he should know that being direct with me is the only way to fix things.

I'm really just so confused, can someone please help?

I used to cry in my room every night, wondering what I had done so wrong to deserve the way you treated me. Every word you spoke felt like a knife—sharp, cold, calculated to make me feel small. You'd tell me I was too sensitive, too lazy, too selfish, like there was something wrong with me just for existing. You made me believe I was unlovable, that nothing I did would ever be good enough. But now, standing here at 19, living on my own, waking up every day in a space that feels safe and mine… I can finally breathe. And you know what? I don’t think about you at all. Not like I used to. Not with that ache in my chest or the guilt that came from wanting distance. I’m free.

When I turned 18, I knew I had to go. It wasn’t even a question. The moment I had the right to leave, I was already packing my bags. I didn’t care that I had nowhere solid to land—I just knew I couldn’t stay in that house one more second. You tried to guilt me, tried to twist it around like I was abandoning you. But deep down, I think even you knew why I left. You spent years picking at me, controlling me, making every little mistake into something massive, just to keep me feeling like I needed you. But I didn’t. And once I stepped outside, once I got away from the constant tension, the criticism, the fake kindness that always came with a price—I started to realize how messed up it all was.

Now? I’m happy. Genuinely. I have friends who actually care about me, a small apartment that might not be much but it's mine, and a job that makes me feel proud—even if it’s not some big dream yet. I can eat what I want, sleep when I want, laugh out loud without being told I’m annoying or dramatic. For the first time, I feel like I have a future. And when people talk about their moms, about calling home, I just smile and nod. I don’t feel jealous. I don’t feel bitter. I just… don’t think about you. Not because I’m cold, but because you don’t get to live in my head rent-free anymore. You took enough of my peace growing up—I’m not giving you any more.

I don’t need an apology. I don’t even need closure. I built my own life out of the wreckage you left behind. And yeah, some days are hard, and healing isn’t linear, but I’m doing it. Without you. And that feels like the strongest thing I’ve ever done. So if you're wondering if I miss you, if I regret walking away, if I think about what you’re doing or if I’ll ever come back—the answer’s simple. I don’t think about you at all.

Let's call my boyfriend A, this girl B, and this boy C.

Hi I'm V. I have a boyfriend. My best friend is C, and his best friend is B. B and C are exes. So far so good?

Recently, I stopped being friends with C. He was my best friend, and my emotional supporter, someone I could vent to. He was a great listener to me. However, it wasn't the same with A and my other friends. He would treat them horribly. Because of all the shit he did, I cut him off. let's talk about B now. I used to be friends with her but we distanced. But A and B are still best friends. Same situation, they vent to each other.

But nowadays, they've been getting so close. He would often show up in her photo dumps, and they text each other much often than A and I. A while ago, there were rumours about B talking shit about me, and I told A. He ignored her for a day, and guess what? She wrote an entire paragraph exactly like a toxic clingy ex, longing for him to give her attention. I can't handle it anymore. I told A how I felt about her actions, and all he did was run back to her and reveal everything I said. I can no longer take this anymore. All I want to do is break her neck and kill A. I thought I could trust A. He 's my boyfriend for fuck's sake. I did not realise that he was capable of breaking my trust. I don't know what to do. I feel so shit when I bring it up. I don't want to ruin a friendship for him. I don't wanna lose him too. He's not only my boyfriend, but my best friend too. I feel so manipulated and gaslighted every time he says something to defend her. It's like I'm not a priority anymore. He even stated that everything he did was in an attempt to "solve" my relationship with B. Including invalidating my feelings and then telling everything even when it was a vulnerable moment to B. I'm falling apart.

I hate when people I work with repeat the same phrase or words every time. I’m not complaining, but when someone says, does this person has this or this person has that it makes me feel like I’m not listening which I am. I am listening. Also, every time I’m trying to speak they keep interrupting me as well and it drives me insane. It feels like I’m not being heard again. and once more, it’s during something very stressful like I don’t need to tell them anything, but I need to say this so that they can understand. Why does this stressful not repeating? Does this person have this? Does this person have that I want to yell them they don’t need that, but I can’t or else I’ll lose my job. Sometimes I just want them to know that I am trying my best, but you don’t need to ask the same damn question every time.

Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday and I can’t believe in. In my head I’m still 17 years old. It’s like my life stopped when covid happened. How can I start living again? How can I catch up to everyone else? How can I be happy again?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, more than I probably should. I’m 20 years old, been in a relationship for a few months now, and on the surface, things are fine. She’s nice, funny, thoughtful, always checking in on me. We get along well, don’t fight, and everything seems… okay. But that’s kind of the problem—it’s just okay. I keep waiting for that spark, that big overwhelming feeling everyone talks about, the one where you just know you’re in love. But it hasn’t come. Not even close. And I’m starting to wonder if it ever will. I don’t dislike her. I enjoy spending time with her. But when I think about the future, or even just picture us next year, it’s like looking at something blurry. No clear image comes to mind. And it’s making me feel guilty, like I’m lying by staying in this relationship when my heart might not really be in it.

I’ve talked to a few friends about it, and I get mixed advice. Some say love takes time, that I shouldn’t expect fireworks this early, especially since we’re both still young. Others tell me if I’m already questioning things, that’s my answer right there. But it’s not that simple. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s done nothing wrong. She cares about me, probably more than I deserve, and the thought of breaking her heart makes me sick. But at the same time, I keep asking myself—is it fair to stay just because I don’t want to be the bad guy? Isn’t that worse in the long run? I don’t want to settle into a relationship just because it’s comfortable or because I’m afraid of being alone. But the fear of regret is real too. What if I leave and realize I made a mistake? What if I’m just not in the right mindset and this is all in my head?

We’ve had good moments, don’t get me wrong. Little laughs, shared jokes, quiet nights watching dumb movies. But there’s something missing. It’s like there’s a wall I can’t get past, a layer of emotion that never really shows up. I keep comparing what I feel now to how I’ve felt in past crushes, where I couldn’t stop thinking about someone, where I felt that ache when we were apart. With her, it’s different. I don’t count down the hours until I see her. Sometimes, I even feel relieved when plans get canceled. And then I feel awful for feeling that way. I keep telling myself maybe it’ll change, maybe I just need more time. But how much time is enough before you admit something isn’t clicking? I see couples who look crazy about each other, and I wonder what that feels like. I’ve never had that, and I’m scared maybe I’m just not capable of that kind of love—or worse, maybe I just haven’t found the right person yet, and I’m wasting both of our time pretending I have.

So yeah, I don’t know if I should stay in my relationship. I’m trying to be honest with myself, but the guilt is eating at me. I don’t want to be cruel, but I also don’t want to lie by staying when I’m not really all in. I wish someone could just tell me what the right answer is. I wish I could look at her and feel that certainty people talk about. But I don’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever. And until I figure it out, I’m stuck in this weird place between not wanting to hurt her and not wanting to hurt myself by staying in something that doesn’t feel right.

at my workplace there is a rule about smells.

if you smell offensive to anyone it's apparently a crime.

now.... I know what you're thinking: "oh god.. why? just take a shower!" ..no, I'm talking about smelling TOO good.

apparently...

if you have a shampoo or conditioner with fragrance.

if you have an air freshener in your car that gets on your clothes or the air freshener is in your closet and gets in your clothes.

if you use an overly fragrant laundry detergent or fabric softener.

if you use those laundry beads or sheets.

if you have a perfume/cologne, or a body spray.

if you brush your teeth or chew gum in the vicinity of another person and you happen to breathe on them for whatever reason.

...those are all no-no's, very bad. if someone complains on you several times you can be sent home or written up.

on the other hand..... it's PERFECTLY ok to smell "natural"

if you fart all day long.

if you burp non stop.

if you smell like alcohol or cigarettes.

if your teeth are rotting.

if you brought an 'exotic' lunch.

if you don't shower.

if you constantly sweat.

if you wear a diaper or a bag and do not change it.

if you are against wiping yourself in the bathroom.

if you don't wash you clothes but instead only rinse them with water.

if you have pungent foot odor.

if for whatever reason you save your pee/poop in a bag, jar or can.

or... any other "natural smell" that may offend another person.

that is all allowed. no one will say anything to you if you are a "natural" smelling person even if someone else, or multiple people, complain about how much it offends them. in fact if you do complain about a "natural smell" in your area that doesn't go away like a fart or burp and it is actually a smell coming from a living person... management will tell you "if it bothers you so much and you feel ill or nauseous then take your time and go home." management won't even let the "natural" person know because it's against the rules to possibly embarrass or shame a person's existence. if the "natural" person does or does not practice hygiene that is a workplace issue BUT since it is a natural smell, THEIR smell, it is seen as an extreme type of body shaming. that is against the rules. so the only ones that get in trouble are the "unnatural" or artificial smelling people or people that use such products.

I daydream about my mother in law dying. I will maintain my composure when that day comes but it will probably be one of the happiest in my life. To never have to endure her presence again.

I was studying in a rich-people school in Pune and dropped out in middle school. The kind of people in that school were nothing short of monsters. They'd make fun of me behind my back, call me all sorts of derogatory names and there' s a huge list of the kinds of shitty things they' d do. Once, there was a kid in my bus who'd bully me relentlessly, and there'd be times where I would have to sit on the floor of the bus, cause that douchebag(let's call him Richard) would tell everybody to avoid me. I complained to my class teacher and she tried to talk to Richard but he started playing the victim midway and went to the boy's bathroom and told everybody that he was going to commit suicide all because of me. I was painted to be a goddamn criminal and everybody isolated me. There were numerous instincts of friends backstabbing me for their own benefit. The teachers never helped and blamed the person who was getting bullied and licked the feet of the rich. All in all, it was a horrible, terrible experience and I hope that those people rot in hell.

If you could create your idea pet... What pet would you wanna have, from looks to personality🥰!?

I'd personally like a small animal. One that's soft as a chinchilla but doesn't call for high maintenance😅. I'd also like my animal to be similar to a cat in appearance, but naturally unclawed, or somewhat dull claws like koalas🐨. At least last I remember, koalas have sorta dulled nails, but a tight grip💅🏻. I don't agree with declawing unless the animal is a very bad hazard to youngsters, and even then, re-homing is the best option... But I don't know people's circumstances🫠.

Anyway... Continuing on my ideal pet creation. I'd want my pet to be medium haired... Not too long, not too short. Again... Soft, like hella soft☺️!! I'd want their ears to be pretty large, but not to the extent of discomfort to the animal. I'd like the animal to either be black, black & white, or all white. I like the idea of the Yin-Yang thing, so I'd probably have 2 of these cute creatures and have one white and one black, Yin and Yang names of course.

I'd want my pet to not cause allergies... Cause allergies are a b*tch😑!! I had a cat, and I didn't have allergies, but my family does, and I'd want my family to enjoy the presence of my pet too.

I'd want my pet to be calm in demeanor. Not super hyper. Some people like the active animal, but I'm sorta a laid back person when it comes to energy use. A quiet animal would be nice, but I'd want them to make super cute little noises if they did speak🥰!!

And lastly... An animal that's good with grooming and smells super good... Not to the point of wanting to eat the creature... But I hug and snuggle with the little fur-ball🤗!!

...

Oh☝🏻😲! I almost forgot... I want a cuddler... A pet that enjoys a good cuddle. So, basically an animal that doesn't mind the heat. Since I run really warm🥵.

That's all...

But let me know, what would you guys like in your ideal pet🤩🙏🏻✨!?

My dang Owala bottle hasn't been shipped in yet😑. Contacted customer support... They says there's delays😩!! This bottle is supposed to be a gift for my bestie when I see her in May😭!! I know this is a weird place to be writing this topic, but I felt like venting... I'm currently working on getting in handled, so no worries there... I'm just a tiny bit frustrated with Amazon... Since I've never had this issue with them😒. They're usually on top of things when I order something😮‍💨. Anyway... I hope everyone is getting all their online shopping done and are having success in receiving their shipments😄🙏🏻✨!!

Eat good food and drink lots of water😋👍🏻✨!!

I'm in my 20's... I'm living my life and I have sorta been in a rut. But then I thought... Why not try something I used to live again🥹🙏🏻✨!! I used to play the djembe drum from 4th grade to my 2nd year of college. But I took a break due to my mother's cancer journey. Now I've moved and I have the means, time, and energy... I wanna get back into one of my former passions🎶. I am a little worried that I'm rusty... Since it's been a fair amount of time since I've banged a drum🫠. It's been a year and a half to be exact😑. I'll be going to the Las Vegas Drum show and I'm so pumped to get my very own djembe drum... Since I used to only use the ones school and college provided🪘😅.

Any... It's never too late to start an old passion... Nor is it too late to start a new passion🥰!!

Wish me luck🍀!!

Also, I just wanted to ask but, I hope that no one thinks I'm culturally appropriating the African culture by playing this amazing instrument🪘. I'm East Asian, and I grew up with all sorts of different music from Latin music, Hispanic music, East Asian traditional music from China, Korea, Japan, etc, European classical, Native American music, and more. I just love the art of it all, and I have the highest respect for all cultures who've put in the time, effort, and passion into their art!! Just wanted to put the disclaimer out there for those who sometimes get triggered by cultural appropriation☺️🙏🏻✨.