Family Drama Stories - page 10

you ever feel like you're just a ghost in your own home? like, here I am, 31 years old, a dude who's been on this spinning rock for more than three decades, and yet, I gotta say, it feels like my family's cared about me as much as a piece of chewing gum stuck under a desk. how messed up is that? from day one, it's like I've been the appendix of the family system—there, but not really necessary. like, what the heck!!! nobody asked them to go all out with dramatic acts of caring, but a nod of acknowledgment would have been nice. it's like my existence is the background noise of their lives, something they don't give a crap about. ever get that feeling? the one where you're the forgotten file on your family’s hard drive? sure, they threw some money at me, a roof over my head, but does that exempt them from showing actual, you know, human feelings???

since I was a kid, it always felt like i was another chore on their to-do list. like seriously, half the time I was just the notification they forgot to check. today, it's still the same, except now I'm handling my own bandwidth while they go off with their multiple subnets of life. zero emotional downloads from them while I over here am like: "Hey, remember me? The one who lived under your roof for 18 years???" when did I turn invisible? is there an off switch on their emotional router that I'm just entirely unaware of? imagine a tech support call with your family, where you try to troubleshoot their absence in your life, only to realize that nobody ever picked up the phone. they might as well have left me on hold forever. the usual excuse I get is that they were "busy with their own lives." sure, as if remembering your kid's name requires huge server resources. maybe immortality is in their plans, and they're banking on finding time to care later. what a joke!

it ain't like I expect a constant ping of attention, or to be the main node in their life network. just a simple response or, i don't know, acknowledgment that I'm part of the family configuration would be sufficient. instead, all I get is static whenever I try to connect. it's frustrating as hell, you know??? nobody sticks around to check my emotional cache, so it keeps overflowing. you ever have that? when your supposed support system feels more like an outdated OS? it's not like I'm requesting a full system upgrade; just a patch to fix the bugs would be nice. and before you say it, I'm aware self-care is important and all that jazz, but is it so wrong to want a family's firewall to occasionally let some love packets through??? being stuck in an emotional DDOS attack from neglect gets exhausting. don't misunderstand, I've got friends who care, and thank heavens for that, but should my emotional safety net not come from the family who installed my core programming??? it's all so ridiculous sometimes, but what can you do? just keep running scripts to stay functional, I guess.

I’m only 15 going on 16 and I’m already so stressed about life.

I have agoraphobia and selective mutism. My grandma is already talking about me getting a job and I feel like they’re gonna have me help pay bills since her and my mom have been struggling with bills for some time now.

My mom is never home and with her it’s a whole situation but I feel so alone.. I feel like I never got to be a kid and responsibilities just pile on responsibilities and soon I have to take regents exams.

I try to talk to my family about my issues but it gets dismissed because it’s just “bad energy” “nothings wrong with you” “unless you get brain scanned you don’t have anxiety disorders.”

I don’t even have my dad to rely on because I don’t talk to him and I hate being a burden.

I wish I had someone to help me and guide e through life I feel like I’m expected to do things my own when I’m terrified and honestly so damn tired of life. I don’t know how much more I can take before I just stop trying.

And there’s so much more but I have no friends to go to because they all just gave me trust issues by talking behind my back and saying “I’m sad all the time” when in reality I’m just vulnerable and scared. I’m scared to grow up, I’m scared of what life holds for me, I’m scared of my own future. I just wish I had more guidance instead of emotionally absent parents and a mother who cares more about her boyfriend than me.

My relatives just left after what felt like a whole year. Before going, my aunt, uncle, and parents all tried to brainwash me into getting married. My parents cried and emotionally blackmailed me saying it’s either marriage or their death, and I have two days to decide. They forced me to give my number to relatives so they can send me marriage prospects on WhatsApp. They kept saying I live a boring life alone and if I marry, he will take care of me and my parents. He'll be my friend, driver, security, and once I have kids I’ll be happy and busy and talked all that regressive ass shit. But I decided at 15 that I will never have kids. The more I see how men are, the more I know I don’t want to marry.

I was just looking to start therapy and trying to heal, and now I feel scared again. I know I can never be happy as a wife or a daughter-in-law, and I do not want kids. I don’t know what to do. My parents’ marriage was toxic and abusive. My mom still suffers from injuries my dad gave her when I was 5. He used to pull knives on her, hit her with his helmet, break things in the kitchen over salt in the food, drag her by her hair. He once slammed a door on her chest. There’s been daily verbal and emotional abuse for years. She still stayed and now wants me to get married. I once got out of this toxic home and didn’t want to come back, but after a sexual assault incident I had to return. Now I’m scared to leave because of that incident and scared to stay because of the toxic home. This has hit my self esteem and i keep getting fired from jobs because of not being able to perform. I feel trapped.

I confronted them after the relatives left but my mom didn’t let me speak. She threatened to hit her head and had a phone in her hand. I shut up immediately because I used to do that to myself and it shocked me to see her act like that. I locked myself in my room after.

I feel like things would be different if I wasn’t this scared to go out and if I had a job and was financially independent. Maybe then they would see that I can take care of myself and them. Right now they probably think I can’t, and my relatives kept saying that if I marry, the guy will do all that. They are brainwashing me with regressive ideas. I’m not the “son” of the house so they want a son in law and I feel like it’s my fault for not being able to make them feel like i am a responsible daughter.

I feel guilty that I’m hurting my parents by not doing what they want. But if I give in, I know I’ll suffer. And if I leave, I’ll feel guilty for leaving my old, sick parents alone. I feel like there’s no solution.

**TL;DR**: My family is emotionally blackmailing me into marriage. I don’t want marriage or kids, but I feel trapped between guilt, fear, and pressure. I’m scared to leave because of past trauma and scared to stay because the environment is toxic. It feels like there’s no way out.

My biggest mistake was telling my very superstitious parents that I have Sleep paralysis. Now I'm not allowed to sleep alone. For context I'm 19 and share a room with my sister. It's a fairly big room and i don't mind sharing. But now my sister has decided that she will sleep in our parents room because it's closer to charging point. I want to sleep in my room because who would choose to sleep on thin mattress while a perfectly fine bed is right there in next room. I told my parents that I will sleep in my room and they refused. I don't know what kind of monster or evil spirits they think will attack me if I ever slept alone but the only thing i know is that I'm getting back pain from sleeping on floor and i want privacy atleast at night. I don't know what to do

Im in a space where I don’t know what to feel. I love both my parents. But… this has been so highly stressful and im a pissed at how they handled the situation.

For reference, I’m 22. Im an adult, and I live with my boyfriend at his place. So the actual divorce doesn’t bother me that much… well I say divorce, they’re separating… but it will definitely lead to divorce. My dad is getting an apartment nearby and my mom is staying in the house.

I am angry with how they handled the delivery of the information… well I’m angry for they’re actions leading up to this, but at this moment the delivery is really pissing me off.

I’ve known they’ve been having problems. I’ve known my entire childhood. I’m the oldest so I remember the before, but that doesn’t erase a decade of my father isolating and being cynical, and it certainly doesn’t erase my moms temper. So for the last year it’s been… particularly bad. I was in college so I didn’t see every facet, but you certainly wouldn’t need a microscope to see the problems… and in the last year I began suspecting my mom was having an affair with a man who worked down the street her workplace. I had no proof or real substance, I just thought… maybe… better let sleeping dogs lie, pun intended.

In March my mom started poking her nose in what I knew. She asked me if she noticed any changes to my dad. At the time she was referencing his therapy that he was now going to. I said I did notice a small difference. And I don’t fully remember how the conversation led to this but at a certain point, she asked me about her. I said I had my suspicions of an affair. She didn’t confirm them then, but maybe a week later she told me and I was right.

She didn’t tell my sister till a month later, and even then my sister told her she didn’t want to know and I broke the news to her later. And now another month has passed and they finally told my brother that they’re separating but not about the affair!

It’s fuxking bullshit!! My sister and I told him that there’s more to the story but we want to give my mom a change to tell him herself, but this little information waiting game is horrible!!! Why’s he gotta wait?! He’s old enough to know why his life is suddenly changing!!! And I’m scared he’s going to resent me or my sister for not telling him. But it’s not my story to tell. At least for now. I told him I would tell him if they didn’t tell him in the next month. But both my mom and my dad are scared he’s going to hate my mom. He will be angry. I think it all came as a bit of a shock to him. I think they hid it better from him than from my sister and myself. My sister is 19 and my brother is 16. And I don’t know what to do. Do I tell him? Do I wait? What do I even say? When we told him last night that we would tell him later if mom never told him, he said he doesn’t feel comfortable with mom telling him, but he would feel most comfortable with us telling him. I think he has an idea, we were dropping some big ish hints, but I feel horrible!! I hate keeping this secret!!! It’s absolutely bull!!! What do I do?

We started as teenage lovers, got teenage children now, was able to get a permanent job where he was not able to finish highschool. Loaned about 17k and now my salary is only $122 a month, while the bills amounts $140...so the bills was compromised to provide food on the table. Now the mortgage is now 3 months unpaid, calls from the collectors has been ringing, incoming school year is fast approaching, money is badly needed for tuition, uniform and school supplies...it felt like it is gripping me from thinking so much... I'm so pathetic for staying, even marrying him when he can't provide anything. I'm so tired of pushing him to get a job when it ends up fighting and shouting...

I don't know what to do.

I'm FTM and I don't think my parents fully understand what's going on or what could happen. They're great supporters, but most of the time when I'm around them (or any other people in my family for that matter) my dysphoria is at it's worst. They'll do things that very obviously show they still see me as a girl and it makes me feel terrible. I don't know if I should bring up how I want to get on puberty blockers because of how they've said binding will damage (even though I have brought up on many occasions I know how to do it safely) and I'm scared they might also say that for the blockers. I think they know how at risk trans people are for su!c!de but aren't willing to accept that I could possibly end up having those thoughts in the future. This type of stuff is called life saving for a reason, and just because I'm not having those thoughts now doesn't mean I won't in the future. I also think they might be completely oblivious to the fact I have dysphoria (and I have brought it up with my mom before).

Honestly I just get exhausted around them. Usually, when I'm having fun with them they'll randomly bring something up that reminds me of how they still view me. My dad still deadnames me a ton, even right after he corrects himself, and both my mom and dad just misgender me in general. My little sister is the only one in the house that kind of understands who I am and actually repsects that (she was the first one I came out to for a good reason). I don't know what to do, especially since serious sit-down talks mess with a lot of my emotions and I have no idea how to bring this stuff up.

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to cut off contact with your own parents. it’s not a decision you make lightly, it’s not something you wake up one morning and decide “oh, i’m done with them now,” and it’s definitely not a thing you can explain to people without sounding like the villain. but the truth is, it wasn’t just one big fight, or a betrayal that led me here. it was more like a million little paper cuts that eventually made me bleed out. each conversation, each snide comment, each cold shoulder... they stacked up like bricks around my chest until breathing became a chore. and now, i’m at a point where silence feels safer than words ever did.

there’s this misconception that going no contact is an impulsive act, a dramatic outburst, but let me tell you – it’s calculated, it’s weighed, and it’s born from years of exhaustion. for me, it wasn’t about punishing them; it was about protecting myself. there’s a sort of peace in not waiting for a call that won’t come, in not bracing for the disappointment that hits you when you realize the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally... just didn’t know how. i still remember the last time i tried to explain my feelings to them, how i said, “i just need space,” and they responded with guilt-tripping and accusations like i was betraying the family code. maybe you’ve felt that too, the subtle manipulation, the expectation that no matter what, you’ll bend because “they’re your parents” – but at what cost?

cutting ties isn’t about hate, it’s about survival. sometimes you’ve got to ask yourself, “how much more of myself do i have to lose before i finally put up a boundary?” i used to sit in my room after those long, draining phone calls, wondering if i was being too sensitive, too dramatic, too harsh. but with time, i realized i was just human, and there’s only so much hurt you can endure before you have to step away for your own sanity. and yes, the guilt still gnaws at me, especially on holidays or when i hear from relatives asking why i’ve become so distant. but i remind myself that self-preservation isn’t selfishness; it’s necessary.

so, i sit here now, scrolling through old photos, thinking about what could have been if they had just tried a little harder, listened a little closer, or loved a little better. but i can’t change them, and i can’t keep sacrificing my peace to maintain a relationship that only drains me. i’m learning to accept that some doors are meant to stay closed, that not every story gets a happy ending, and that’s okay. sure, there’s a lingering sadness, an ache for what i wish i had, but there’s also relief in knowing i’ve chosen myself, finally. and maybe that’s the real takeaway here – that sometimes the healthiest love is the one you give yourself, even when it means walking away from those who were supposed to give it to you first.

does it ever get easier? i don’t know. maybe it’s just one of those things you learn to live with, like a scar that reminds you of a wound that’s healed but still aches when it rains. and when people ask me if i’ll ever reconnect, i just shrug and say, “maybe one day,” because who really knows? but for now, i’m okay with the quiet, with the space i’ve carved out for myself, and with the understanding that no contact doesn’t mean no love – it just means love from a distance. and maybe that’s enough; maybe that’s all i can give.

My husband and I had an our baby four months ago. The entire time I was pregnant he acted like he was so excited and going to be such a good dad. Everyone had such high expectations for him. Now that she’s actually here, he’s just mean to both of us. She’s a really easy baby and isn’t fussy very often, but the moment she does anything other than smile he gets annoyed. He’s constantly in a bad mood and when I ask why he always says it’s because of her. He’s started taking it out on me and is so short tempered and distant with me. He doesn’t ever really hold her or interact with her unless I downright force him to and even then he just puts her in her swing/bassinet/etc. within five minutes. It’s to the point that both of our families have asked if he even really holds her or pays attention to her. It’s making me really second guess the fact that I married him and feel guilty for choosing him as the father of my child. To make matters worse, he wants more than one kid.

Growing up, I always felt like the odd one out in my family 🧩. Even though we shared the same house, the same blood, it was like I was on the outside looking in. My parents seemed to naturally gravitate toward my siblings. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to fit into the puzzle that made up our family dynamic. They had their own way of showing love, I suppose, but somehow, it always felt like it never quite reached me. There’s this memory that sticks with me—a time when my mom was talking about my younger brother. She said, “He’s the one with a promising future.” That one line felt like a slap, subtle but sharp. It was like I was written off, as though I didn’t measure up. Why did I always feel like the scapegoat, the one who got the short end of the stick? 😔

At school, I wasn’t exactly invisible, but I wasn’t much more than a background character either. Sure, I’d get the occasional nod in the hallway or a quick “Hey” when someone passed by, but those interactions felt more like a reflex than a real connection. It’s not like I’m terrible to be around—I can crack a decent joke, I can listen, I can hold a conversation. But still, there’s this constant nagging feeling that people are just going through the motions with me. I’ve wondered—am I just not interesting enough? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I’m missing some unspoken rule, some secret code that makes people click. People always say, “You’ll find your people,” but when? I feel like I’m always just outside the circle, close but never quite inside. And honestly, it makes me wonder—am I the problem, or is it just the way things are?

Social media doesn’t help. I scroll through my feed and see picture after picture of friends hanging out, doing things I wasn’t invited to. It’s like watching a movie where you’re not part of the cast. Each post feels like a reminder that I’m not really part of the story. But to be fair, it’s not like anyone’s purposely trying to exclude me. It just sort of... happens. And I can’t help but wonder: Why does it feel like nobody really likes me? 🤔 But if I’m being honest, maybe I’m part of the reason too. Maybe I’ve built this wall around myself, out of fear or maybe frustration, and now it’s keeping everyone out. I don’t have the answers, but I can’t help but ask—do we sometimes create our own loneliness without even realizing it?

i grew up believing something was off, but i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. it wasn't until i hit my late twenties and started therapy that the pieces clicked. both of my parents exhibit behavior that's frighteningly consistent with narcissistic personality traits. my therapist used the term “narcissistic perverts” once, and it rattled me, because it fit too well. not in a dramatic, made-for-tv kind of way, but in the slow, insidious kind of manipulation that wears you down without you even realizing it. it’s exhausting living with the constant feeling that your emotions are invalid, your achievements are never enough, and your boundaries are optional suggestions they feel free to ignore whenever it suits them 😒

my dad masks his manipulation behind a facade of reason and logic. he’ll say things like “i’m just being honest” or “you’re too sensitive” whenever i try to call him out on his emotionally dismissive behavior. growing up, he would tell me i was “too dramatic” whenever i cried or got upset, even if i had a legitimate reason. like when i came home from school one day in tears because a teacher publicly embarrassed me—his response? “you probably deserved it.” that sentence never left me. it etched itself into my memory as one of the countless times he made me feel small. he doesn’t scream. he doesn’t throw things. but his silence and cold logic cut deeper than any raised voice ever could.

my mom, on the other hand, plays the victim card like it’s her career. everything is always about her. if i tried to talk about a bad day at work, somehow it would spiral into a conversation about how she once had it worse. i remember mentioning i was struggling with depression in my early twenties, and her response was, “you don’t know real pain until you’ve been a mother.” i just stood there, numb. there was no space for my pain, only hers. she uses guilt like currency—reminding me of the sacrifices she made and how ungrateful i am for not calling every day. “after everything i did for you, this is how you repay me?” is her go-to line whenever i set even the smallest boundary.

what makes it worse is the gaslighting. when i bring up specific moments or confront them with how their actions made me feel, they either deny it happened or tell me i “misremembered.” it’s like arguing with a wall that changes shape every time you touch it. nothing sticks, and you start questioning your own perception of reality. this constant emotional distortion makes it hard to trust others—and harder to trust myself. even now, when my friends validate my experiences, there's still a little voice in my head whispering, are you sure you're not just being dramatic again? 🤷‍♀️

lately, i've been distancing myself. i limit contact to occasional texts and birthdays. part of me feels guilty—like i’m being a “bad daughter.” but another part, the part that’s finally learning to breathe, knows this space is necessary. healing doesn’t mean pretending it never happened or forgiving before you're ready. sometimes it means stepping back, protecting your peace, and acknowledging that some people—yes, even parents—are toxic. do you ever wonder how many people walk around thinking they’re broken, when really, they were just raised by people who shattered them without ever lifting a hand? if you’re reading this and it resonates, i hope you know: you’re not crazy. you’re not dramatic. you’re not alone. 🖤

Have you ever felt like your mother is the source of your problems? Yeah? Me too. Like she is the fuel in the fire that I am drowning in. She is providing me all this warm and then burning me, leaving scars on the skin. My mother talks about toxicity, bad friends, bad life choices. She tells me how *I* feel. She doesn't know me, does she? No. She thinks she does, the cause of all my problems. The hopelessness, the pain, the anger that follows it all. I hate it.

I hate my mother.

I am an only child, now 38 years of age, NOT married but has a baby and in good terms with the father of my baby - he is still my boyfriend

All my life my hero was my dad. He’d give me all i ask for. I was spoiled. I was a brat. Though it was like that, I knew he has some negative traits but i ignored. I would question only in the back of my mind but i wouldnt say anything because i wasnt allowed to talk back to elders, it was like an ultimate crime for a child to talk back to parents (even if questioning or defending).

His negative traits are:

HE LOOKS DOWN ON THE LESS FORTUNATE - he thinks highly of himself.

1)When i was young, he told me to slap my female cousin whenever she doesnt follow my command. And i even did one time sadly. I apologozed for it but he never did. He bribed her with stationeries and other things but never said the word sorry.

2)he discriminates my uncle (mom’s brother, so his brother in law) because he is gay. Whenever he passes by, he would talk to someone with him (usually service drivers) and say “if he was my brother, that will not be allowed. I will beat him til he becomes a man” the person he would say that to, doesnt react at all, seen it many times. He was like that since i was young. It’s one of the things i questioned in my head “what’s wrong if he’s gay? He is the one who tutored me, your daughter. He is the one who will drop off and pick up your daughter, ME, from school”

3)he discriminates my cousin (again, mother side) because he has autism. He will say things like “he’s old but he isnt normal, everything about him is just wrong”

HE HURTS ANIMALS

1)there were several times when i was in mu early 20s that i planned to move out and take my cats and dogs with me, my aunt (mom side) will just fix things between me and my dad. He never did say sorry for hurting any of my pets before. He never made initiative to make peace, as mentioned, my aunt would fix things between us

2)my mom slipped. There was a time when we talked on the phone and she told me she gave away her chihuahua because he has become too aggressive. And then when i actually talked to her in person she said that the chihuahua died because my dad my hitting him constantly with a bamboo stick

HE IS A HYPOCRITE

1)he actually said my cousin was like a frustrated sexy star then when things got messy between my dad and i (more of this mess later on), my cousin admitted that he was molesting her before. So she asked her boyfriend to get pregnant because it was her ticket out and she did get out but she said my dad uses to send her messages like “you are more beautiful now that you have your own kids”

2)my boyfriend buys him his maintenance medicine so we barely have money left for us so sometimes we cant immediately buy extra things for our baby, like a pacifier. It’s cheap but it’s not a necessity and i will hear him say “what kind of parent isbthat?! Cant even buy this, or that”. My boyfriend even bought him food for his birthday and he never said thank you to him. And instead he even asked about my ex boyfriend, the ex that hurt me physically, Used and abused me everyday, and my dad knows that.

Those are just some samples to describe him.

Now the family drama…

I worked abroad for 8 years. Came home only once, in the 4th year. And i came back home again because i was pregnant. I didnt want to marry nor have kids. I had a horrible experience with my ex. He would use and abuse me daily, and he even got me pregnant but hotnit aborted. He shoved pills down my throat regularly. But i never bled. There was pain and that’s when our baby got aborted. The midwife said it was better because the baby wouldnt have been normal anymore from the pills. That is just a summary of why i dont want to marry and have a baby. I am scared. But i have changed my mind regarding pregnancy but not marriage and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years. I did in the second year but miscarried at 4th month. I set aside trying to get pregnant but i did again after 3 months from the miscarriage. So i went back home thinking things changed well it did but for the worse. I am in a long distance relationship and i live in hell.

During my pregnancy my dad cursed at my boyfriend when he wanted to look for another doctor for second opinion because it was all caesarean caesarean all the way. When i finally gave birth, my boyfriend paid for everything by the way and he is still the one supporting me and our baby and he is still the one buying my father’s meds and he is still the one giving additional financial support to MY family for food etc because im a full time stay at home mom, i dont have my own money.

Newborn. Well my newborn cried nonstop for the first 2/3 weeks. My father will go “sigh” “here we go again” and even one time he cursed at my baby he said “make THAT THING stop crying, because it is so annoying” i never said anything. So when i was left watching over my baby, who was crying, he went and called my mom i can hear him say “THAT will die soon” so when they opened the door i just yelled “dont even get involved because you know nothing of taking care of a baby” i know cos my mom told me, i was cared for mostly by grandma, uncles and aunts during the day. And night it was my other grandma and my mom. My dad even gave me expired milk so HELLO, he doesnt know how to take care of baby. Then we never talked. It was his way. I learned from him so i dont talk to him too. One time after my baby’s vaccinations, so she was all fussy and crying again, my dad cursed at me from the window - i ignored. He went in side the house and to the room where me and my baby was to curse at me again “aon of a bitch! Why dont you give milk?! You devil!” So i said in a flat tone cos i am pissed with what he said but trying to be patient “she doesnt want mlik” then He pointed at my face and said that i was being rude. So as he walked away, I stared at him thinking “what” then he started talking again “how dare you stare at me” “stop staring you bastard” never said anything but i kept staring cos i am confused he kept on cursing at me then came back to hit me in the shoulder when i was carrying my crying baby so i snapped. Really, i cant contain myself anymore. Hit me while carrying my baby? No no! So i just yelled back “yeah keep hitting me” “do it” he put his fist on my cheek and he put his 2 fingers on my eyes and i yelled “you think so high of yourself” then he cursed me and my boyfriend. My mom came and stopped the yelling but me and my dad never talked since then.

I can hear him sometimes talking about me and my boyfriend

“No more dreams and aspirations”

-i chose to be a stay at home mom, and that is bad in his eyes. I should be working.

“They should die. I dont care. They’re the devil”

So what i want to rant about is that everyday my father would have renovations at home. Hammer. Saw. Furnitures moving around. -my baby cant sleep at all. So when she wakes up and cries he’s gonna go look and say lots of things like the way i take care of my baby is wrong.

We’re gonna leave in about a month. My mom asked for one last thing and that is my boyfriend to come pick us up, i want to give her that. But i feel bad for my baby really. No sleep.

im tired of this life now, i can’t take it anymore

I don’t know why, but everything I do is wrong for some reason. If i unintentionally do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, move wrong, I get yelled at.

Only a few days ago, I had a few things lying around. I didn’t have to time to clean yet, I’ve been busy with school and work. Ofcourse, I got hit. It doesn’t hurt but it’s scary. Everytime I hear them yelling, I’m scared that they’ll come up to me and hit me, even if I did nothing wrong. I just can’t help but freeze or even flinch when they raise their hand at me yet they still wonder why I refuse to hug them anymore, like to be near anyone or for others to be in my space.

I often prefer to be at school rather than at home. I dread going home, I like it at school. I’ve recently gotten a really good review on my behavior. They told me I was an outstanding student. I liked it. My parents don’t ever tell me that because im not good enough to them and i know it.

Sometimes, i wonder if the reason why i hate personal touch within my family is something that I struggle with mentally, but don’t know about yet. I’m just really conflicted. I honestly can’t wait for the day I turn eighteen. Only a year to go. I really want to move out as soon as I can.