Health and Wellness Failures Stories - page 2

So recently I’ve been getting super worried because sometimes my vision randomly goes blurry, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m stressed or if there’s something actually wrong with me. Like, I’m 16 and I already deal with a lot of anxiety from school, friends, and just life in general, but this new thing is freaking me out more than usual. When I’m sitting in class, especially in math or history when I have to stare at the board for a long time, it feels like my eyes just won’t focus and the words kind of smear together. At first I thought maybe I just needed new glasses, but I went to the eye doctor not long ago and he said my prescription barely changed, and that what I’m describing doesn’t really match up with my test results. He told me it might be stress-related, like “ocular fatigue,” and that kind of stuck in my head. So of course I went home and googled it, and I found all these articles and people online saying stress and anxiety can actually make your vision blur because of muscle tension or even breathing weird when you’re nervous. It made sense because this happens the most when I’m panicking, like during tests or when I have to talk in front of people. But at the same time I keep overthinking like, what if it’s something worse? I read about migraines with aura, blood sugar drops, and other scary things, and that makes me spiral even more. So now I’m just stuck asking myself over and over—could anxiety really be the reason my vision blurs, or am I missing something serious that needs attention?

There was one day that still bothers me a lot: I was doing a class debate, and my heart was beating way too fast, my palms were sweaty, and all of a sudden the paper I was reading from went blurry like someone smudged it on purpose. It lasted for maybe five minutes, then once I sat back down and calmed down, my sight went back to normal. That kind of makes me think it is anxiety-related, because when my body chilled out, the blurriness went away too. I even read that when you’re anxious, your body makes more adrenaline and cortisol, which messes with your breathing and blood flow, and that can cause temporary vision changes. It’s weird because sometimes it happens when I’m not even feeling that anxious, and that makes me question everything again; like maybe I am just overthinking but maybe not. My best friend told me, “you’re worrying about worrying,” and she’s probably right, but I can’t stop noticing it. I started keeping a little log in my notebook about when it happens, how I’m feeling, and how long it lasts so I can show it to my doctor if it keeps going. I don’t want to ignore it just in case, but I also don’t want to stress myself more if it really is just anxiety playing tricks on me. Do you think anxiety can actually cause blurred vision, or is that just something people say online? And if you’ve had the same thing, how did you figure out if it was harmless or something you needed help with; honestly it’s both comforting and confusing to realize that my brain and body can mess with each other like this 😅

Hiii! Im Ava, i’m a teenager (not saying age) and i struggle with S/A and bullying. I pretend to be happy when in reality i have lots of scars/cuts from my self harm addiction. Sometimes i starve myself. Even though my parents know i do it they don’t care and think i just want attention. I cry a lot yet they still don’t care. One time they beat me for trying to kill myself…

Hey guys, so. I'm 13, and I have had eczema since I was 2. And one time with a dermatologist at 12, she did finally confirm I have eczema. I use moisturizers and hydrocortisone creams if it gets bad, and it's great. My new creams don't give me all that much hyperpigmentation, unlike other creams I've had, which is good! SO yeah. But a full-blown analysis, and the cause? Nah, no, it didn't happen. And I'm scared of dermatologists, because of many things. My grandpa used to be a dermatologist, and he used to be angry. Like, ultra-mad, so mad that as both an anesthesiologist and dermatologist, he'd yell at EVERYONE, when he'd have a patient he wouldn't really care, and when my dad (his son) got acne problems, the creams were so bad that if dad immediately stopped, his skin would dry fast and if he put the pimples would go but his skin would darken. And from watching dermatologists in movies and YouTube, they all seem very judgy, very weird, always obsessed with your skin (I know it's their job, but I mean OBSESSED), and would create new insecurities for you. And I've heard from my gut feelings if they're with teens, with any skin issues, they're gonna roast the hell out out of you, make you have more insecurities, and feel even worse about your look! Trust me, I have eczema and acne at the same time, and while cutting cashews has reduced my pimples, I get a teeny tiny amount of pimples right before my periods, but nothing horrible, unless the dermatologist says so and I need birth control. And eczema? How can a girl have it since 2?? I don't know, just how? I'm just weird like that. But yeah, I just feel weird, around any doctors. Like they'll only see me as some sort of sick body, and I already feel bad about my looks and chronic disease, because what if when I grow up, nobody would like me for it? All girlfriends I see online have perfect smooth skin. And I'm the crusty rock.

so like idk if I like want to go to the football game tonight, I mean I don’t have a choice since I’m playing with the band and my ginger’s gonna be there so I cant just not go but what if the weird thing happens again? what if my brain decides to take a nap in the middle of the halftime show, when we’re performing? I mean I know it doesn’t have any visible effects, its not like i’ll collapse or anything, but if it happens I might stop playing or marching or smt. besides I’m just too tired for this man.

and if my head does do the dream walking thing, anyone got any ideas to help like snap myself out of it?

Sorry if I sounded too blunt or rude. Anyways, this is a bit of an extension, but I have some questions. Do you guys hate neurotypicals? Do you guys hate all weird sounds or touch or smells? If I say something rude to you on accident in the moment will you leave me and be forever angry? Do you take everything very personally? Is it okay for me to focus on your needs more than mine and always be what you want? Does your mental disability excuse what wrong things you do, because I feel that as a NT, I should tolerate such behaviors I find annoying or uncomfortable because in the end, I'm a dumb neurotypical next to a person who is from a group who's been heavily stigmatized and abused for years, so maybe me getting hurt is alright. Do you guys always hate NT people's interests? Should I mask myself for you because if autistic people mask it's not good but if neurotypicals mask it's okay because they're not mentally ill? Should I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and inflating myself from anxiety I may hurt you in horrible ways? Should I change myself so you can feel comfortable, because if you change it's bad because autistic folks masking is bad, but if I do it it's good? Do you guys hate physical touch? When you have a meltdown, do you guys want everyone out of the room, and during meltdowns do you have every right to say mean things to me? Trust me, at 13, sometimes I feel like a rude jerk, and maybe that's why I don't have friends. During meltdowns, can you guys hit or yell at me? During meltdowns can you throw objects around? During meltdowns, should I stay quiet and leave the room? And when we're together, should I always choose to stay quiet? Because I heard that selective mutism can help in these cases? I feel if an NT person gets hurt or bruised, it doesn't count as bad because we're not disabled, we're very much okay and healthy and maybe just stronger, but if it's you maybe it hurts a lot. Maybe this full question is dumb, like me.

lately, I find myself crying way more than I should. it's not like there's a specific trigger all the time, but sometimes it just creeps up on me, you know? I'm 27, and it feels like everything is just off track. There's this expectation by now to have it somewhat figured out. Maybe not the entire map, but at least a decent compass. But here I am, lacking a stable relationship, which feels more pressing because I have this deep-seated desire to have kids. It's like a yearning that's there, no matter how hard I try to suppress it. The biological clock is a very real thing, or at least it feels like one. Is that a silly thing to worry about?

my family doesn't seem to get it. They've always had this traditional view of what "success" looks like, and somehow, I've never quite fit the mold. An engineer would have made them proud, but here I am, a woman with creative aspirations that seem to always land me in unstable jobs. Every time I start a job, my anxiety peaks, worrying about whether this one's a keeper or just another gig I'd be dropping soon. Sometimes, I feel like I'm letting them down, which adds another layer to this emotional rollercoaster I'm on. Do you ever feel trapped in other people's expectations?

it's terrifying watching the advancement of AI technologies. There's so much talk about AI reshaping industries, automating jobs, and streamlining processes. While it all sounds incredible, it leaves people like me worried about our place in the workforce. I've read articles about how AI might replace a lot of professional roles, and while this innovation sounds great theoretically, in reality, it feels like a looming shadow. I want a fulfilling office job, one where I feel challenged and valued, but what if AI makes me irrelevant? Is it just fear-mongering, or is this something others are worried about too?

i've also tried talking to friends about it, some empathize, and others give me the same old spiel – that I'm overthinking. There's this quote I've come across multiple times that says something about how crying is an emotional release from the soul. I wish understanding that made it easier to handle. But, honestly, sometimes these tears is more about frustration and uncertainty than any soulful release. Like even though I'm not physically in danger, my emotions are on high alert most times, and letting them out just becomes a way to cope. Is it normal to feel this way in your late twenties?

with everything being as it is, I sometimes wonder if crying is me just having my own coping mechanism, whether it's due to my unsettled expectations or anxiety about the future. It's just that crying doesn't always leave one feeling better; oftentimes, it just makes the sadness more profound once the tears have stopped. Sharing this feels like standing on a virtual street with a cardboard sign screaming for someone to understand. yet, there’s a comfort in anonymity and the hope that maybe someone will nod along, having felt the same weight at some point. Have you ever cried for reasons which seemed unexplainable once you tried to express them? 🤔

[TW: Mentions of Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Verbal Abuse, Harassment and Politics.]

Hi. I'm an artist and aspiring author with a lot on my plate, so I'll cut to the chase; I'm angry, lost, frustrated, and I don't know what the hell do to with myself anymore.

I graduated high school right when Covid struck years ago, I never had a proper graduation and lost the chance to go on a class field trip to Paris. That was about the last time I saw most of my real life friends and former classmates until I moved further away in the state I live in. Since then, I've tried making a few connections online, and it went well for a good while, even allowing myself to earn a bit of a reputation as a former online creator who posted art and made videos.

After high school and my so-called "graduation", I took college courses online, since I had no other choice with Covid running rampant, and got a degree in graphic design. I had just entered my early 20s and I didn't know where to look in terms of a career at the time (I didn't even have experience with a part time job), and fear that I may have taken too long with AI taking over the world, art and writing jobs especially (should be noted that I absolutely despise AI by the way).

Around the same time, my grandmother had been living with my family and I, and due to internal turmoil involving herself and my father, she snapped one day and was packing her things to leave, suddenly threatening to abuse me and send me to prison (for no reason) right in front of my youngest sister as she was leaving. She had never reached out to apologize. but instead sent gifts and letters to both my father and youngest sister, which speaks volumes about how she feels.

Not too long ago, I since cut ties with a long-standing online friend group because of my own mistakes that I made years ago. Mistakes that I was never directly told about until the moment everything went wrong. For the longest time I was under the impression that our past mistakes (from both myself and my ex-friends) were water under the bridge since we were getting along so well at the time, only to find out they had been keeping the truth from me and allegedly pretended to stay friends with me for several months (their words directly as we were cutting ties) before we separated. To my own fault, I hadn't been on my best behavior around the time either.

I felt lost for a year, and even now I still do. I've since gone to therapy for a year, have done everything I could to help support my family, returned to college (in person, for the first time since Covid hit) to take classes towards an IT based degree and made new friends both online and on campus at college thanks to common interests.

But now, I feel lost and overwhelmed. This one's a doozy.

My college work, specifically the IT material I have to study, has become too much to handle at times.

The country I live in is practically in shambles and falling apart no thanks to the government or the controversial president that both of my parents had voted for, with seemingly no hope for a livable future in my current condition.

My therapist could no longer provide for me due to an error on their part with the therapy providing company, resulting in me debating on whether I want to move on with my mental health or completely start over from scratch with a new therapist who knows nothing about me.

My ex-friends (I heavily assume) kept a hold of my old phone number and address when we were close, and have been using both to continuously harass and remind me of my past mistakes even after blocking multiple phone numbers, going so far as to attempt to doxx my location and taunt me on the recently popular wplace website.

My parents got divorced, leaving me with even more responsibilities after nearly having our current home sold to find a new one for the remainder of our family.

My current workplace (which is fine in general) unnecessarily stresses me out from time to time despite being a form of escape from both home and schoolwork.

And AI is, unfortunately, continuing to grow for whatever reason, taking away even more job opportunities in the creative sphere that I could've found and applied for if I took the chance after getting my graphic design years ago.

All this to say, I'm tired, stressed out, low-key depressed and have contemplated either disappearing or killing myself numerous times. But I haven't.

Despite me voicing these similar concerns to my own mother, she always assures me that I'll be just fine, but I find that hard to believe. I don't know what my future holds for me, or if I'll even have a future at all. I still love drawing and writing, and am even working on a Lord of the Rings-style fantasy novel that I'm hoping to publish one day, but the continuous push for AI to be the norm (despite sometimes motivating me to do better in my own work) is simultaneously bringing me down with how much the slop it creates is being accepted compared to human works, art and writing alike.

My pursuit for a better paying career (since most art and writing jobs nowadays simply don't pay a livable wage for whatever reason) has been stressful, and trying to learn IT in college through strenuous book reading, extensive memorization and less-than stellar exam scores has only been pushing me away from the career path than motivate me. It's not what I wanted to do. Creating things with art and writing is what I want to do, and it's unfair that wanting to be creative in this way is an extremely difficult way to live in comparison.

Even though the thoughts of suicide linger every now and then, I never feel the urge to physically do anything about it. Despite everything, I still love my family and want to be around to help them in any way I can. I can barely imagine how they'd react if they found out I was gone in any way. I also want to continue making an impact on the world with my works, past mistakes aside, and create both art and literature that people can enjoy and possibly find inspiration from, knowing I didn't give up when everything was difficult in my own life.

Which leaves me in a sort of limbo, to be perfectly honest. I really don't know what to do with myself, or how I can pick myself up from feeling down about life all the time, and continue existing like everything's fine.

Any help or advice, while not required by any means, would be greatly appreciated. Even reading through this means a lot to me.

Um so basically my issue is that I just don't know what's wrong with me anymore. And every day that goes by, I feel more and more ready and sure that I don't want to be here anymore. And every single day I wake up and suicide is the only thing that I think of. It's the only thing in my mind. And I've thought of every possibility and every scenario. And the aftermath and the preparations. But I just, I can't bring myself to do it. Because I'm a coward. And I'm just scared of what would happen if I did actually succeed. And the truth is, I don't even know if I want to die. But I know that I would rather die instead of living this life that I don't want. And nobody knows about this. Not even my therapist or my closest friends. But I just wish they'd see the signs because I don't understand anymore. Because I always joke about it. I'm depressed. I've been depressed for the past few months. And I tried to open up to my mom about it and she thought it was a joke. And I'm too scared to tell my therapist because I don't want to get locked up in a mental institution. And I just don't know what to do anymore. Because tomorrow I just have to be back at school with a smile on my face. And nobody, nobody ever knows. And the first thing that I say when somebody asks if anything is up with me is say no, I'm okay. And this isn't like there's so many other things. How I've been starving myself because of my anxiety. I've lost all of my appetite. I do not eat anything at school for eight hours. Only gum and energy drinks. I've been smoking a lot. And then when I come home I barely eat any dinner. And then I just go to bed again. And I'm just so fat and ugly. I genuinely just can't even picture my future. I'm so pathetic and ugly and fat and worthless and literally such a burden to anybody. I'm a burden to even my own mom. So, I don't know, I just had to get this out. Hoping that maybe somebody would see this. Not because I hope somebody relates because I don't wish this upon anyone. So just know, if you relate to this, you matter.

I'm 13, and I get periods. They hurt sometimes but they tell me I'm fine. I've had them when I was 9, which is pretty early for some reason. I've got bad days, okay days, and days where for some reason my pubic regions hurt, not my abdomen. I've never taken painkillers for this since hey, I could at least manage for a while. When it's too much, sitting down somewhere helps and hot showers too. But some women don't like it, and hate it so much they take birth control, or they feel proud and celebrate when they hit menopause maybe at 45. So does that mean I should do what they do for whatever reason, like gender dysphoria, they don't wanna get pregnant, it hurts too much or sensory issues? They do it for all the reasons, even when I don't get them. Maybe I'll get them later when I'm older. Should I Take birth control, have an IUD, maybe arm implant, or a hysterectomy, or maybe get early menopause. They all do it, and I feel like I'm missing out. All adults I see do that, and woman said, "I'm glad I got menopause. It's not as bad as people say it is! I absolutely hated the cramps and sensory issues, so this was amazing." Are my periods bad? A lot of them make it seem like this scary, looming danger that will and WILL hurt me.

sometimes it feels like nothing around me is real

like a few days ago I was at a marching band competition and we were walking back to the busses after performing and suddenly it felt like I was walking in a dream, thing felt distant even if I was right there

it's happened before but it never lasts long

any advice or uh like answers?

So yeah, you know everyone is "ugly" at 13? Well, I feel that way. I'm a girl, 13, and I feel ugly with a capital "UG". Wanna know why? Well, I have a very weird slim face with puffiness on the cheeks, I have some pimples on my hairline, near my nose and back, eczema scarring that doesn't go away unless I apply lots of moisturizers but you'll still know I'm itchy, hair with dryness in the scalp from eczema and I need medicinal shampoos, a nose which looks too round from the side at the bridge, lips that are just very awkward and not thick or thin, have whiteheads under my mouth, thin-haired eyebrows, eyes which are too big and brown which makes it look boring, a forehead that's two eyes big, black curly hair which needs oil, I'm very short at 5'4", and my weight so far is 44kg, and right now because my teeth are ugly and crowded, I wanted cute braces but instead I got the self-ligating ones which makes me look too nerdy, gross and very ugly. And I now have issues like eczema, acne, cat allergies, and I may get asthma since they all are in the atopic triad, so that makes me both unhealthy and very flawed. And my braces don't have any ligatures and my teeth are very crowded, so I look nerdy instead of cute like on Pinterest. And I'm built like a thin mom, yet I'm 44kg, maybe I need to lose weight. And 5'4" is short for a woman, since USA ladies are 5'7". I'm not even from USA, yet I look so ugly. And maybe, just maybe, I can do surgery to at least change my nose, and take veneers to fix my teeth.

Hey, it's me. I have a question for you all. Well, a few ones, because I soon realized I'm a very deep empath and I love flagellating myself when I feel bad for someone (not literally), and today my YouTube's been popping up with people who experience autism. Folks like @Kaelynnism on YT really helped, and while you folks probably watch her too sometimes (or don't, I don't know, I'm stupid), it really helped me see from their POV. And I feel like garbage. I'm not diagnosed with anything, besides eczema but that's not really a mental illness, is it? But I can't help but feel terrible knowing the different experiences of you guys and how sometimes very sensitive you are to things. I feel like even if I BREATHE wrong you'll get mad, and it's my fault. That's why I got some questions.

For one thing, how bad are your triggers to sound, touch, taste, smell and atmosphere? Because I know a lot of you all mask up and pretend everything's fine, when really I should be doing that because it's sad when you do it. Another one, how bad can meltdowns get, so whenever I encounter someone who is, I should run away or comfort them by shutting up? Should I always agree to your rules or habits, even if I feel bad about some of them because to you they're right and I may hurt your feelings for asking you to not do it? Should I always nod and say yes to you even when I have no idea of your niche interests, and should I never tell you mine because they're not niche enough like yours? Should I always stay quiet when I'm with you? and when you're being too blunt I should take it in, even if it hurts? When you feel pain, should I forget mine? When you tell me or do something hurtful, should I excuse you because you're mentally ill? I'm not asking this with malice, I'm asking because I feel like a prick for even having a neurotypical brain and breathing.

hey, so I wanted to share something that's been keeping me up at night; it's about these dreams I’ve been having, all stemming from that carjacking I somehow survived. it's not the typical nightmares people talk about; these are vivid, relentless, and they cling to me long after I've woken up. you know how they say dreams are manifestations of our subconscious processing trauma? well, mine are like a non-stop highlight reel of that day’s terrifying events, played on a loop, with every punch, kick, and tug echoing in excruciating detail. imagine being trapped in a film you can’t pause, one where you're not in control, every scene as clear and vibrant as reality, and you're forced to relive it each night! it all started right after the incident; occasionally, the setting changes, but the core theme remains the same. is it normal to feel the physical impact of dream events upon waking? my psyche seems to be stuck in a feedback loop, desperately trying to make sense of the chaos; the slightest sound jolts me awake, my heart pounding as if the entire attack were happening all over again.

sometimes I ask myself, why does my mind replicate such suffering rather than letting it fade into obscurity? it's like my brain has switched to disaster mode! I read somewhere that this is my amygdala going into hyperdrive, but knowing that doesn’t exacty bring comfort when the flashbacks hit harder than a sledgehammer to the chest… and here's the thing, everything is intensified in those moments; street lights turn glaring and blinding, voices around me warp and distort as if trying to mock me, taunting me with fragments of past conversations that twist and churn my anxiety like a blender on high speed; emotional regulation goes out the window, and the normalcy I crave remains tantalizingly out of reach! funny, isn't it, how during daylight I can rationalize and compartmentalize, but as soon as the lights go out, I'm triggered by any sound or shift? have you ever felt your mind betray you like that, caught in a battle it keeps losing nightly? it's a solitary fight, when the darkness turns friend to foe, and I find myself awake, heart racing, trying to shake off the lingering adrenaline. seriously, what’s with the hypervigilance? am I forever destined to navigate the world whilst walking on eggshells, second-guessing even the neighbor’s dog barking?”

no, I haven’t tried group therapy yet; honestly, the idea of reliving the trauma in front of others doesn't sit well with me, not when even privately, the memory looms larger than life! yet something's got to give, right? because even the smallest things might set off a chain reaction leading me straight back to those horrific moments. but understanding and dissecting it cognitively is only half the battle! have you ever tried to catalogue experiences only to have your mind slip into overdrive trying to make sense of it all? because that’s precisely what I've been tackling. even sleeping pills feel like cheats, granting oblivion but never resolution, a band-aid on a gaping wound; the experts talk about reconsolidation therapy, exposure therapy, but where do you even start when every night's a battlefield?! you have to wonder if resolving such deep-seated trauma requires accepting that vulnerability first; dialing down the hyperarousal one step at a time; retraining a mind that's gone rogue and wild in survival mode.

there's something fundamentally unsettling about being unable to trust your own mind and the manner in which it processes past terror… the dichotomy's stark: a life of logical intelligence clashing against primal instinct! so, where's the balance, and is resolution even possible when you're eternally questioning if your defenses will crumble again under pressure? at the end of the day, the essence of these dreams feels not just like a punishment, but a reminder bestowed against my will, and confronting that without letting it drown me remains the hardest endeavor. so if you have any suggestions, maybe you've been through similar? I’d genuinely be open to hearing how others tackle such pervasive, all-consuming tension that manages to infiltrate the most sacred space of rest! just want a semblance of tranquility where each night doesn't have to mean revisiting hell, and isn’t that something we all deserve?

At the age of 86, mobility and hearing challenged I find myself the care giver of my dementia suffering soulmate and my mentally ill adult daughter. It is overwhelming sometime with events and worries of what happens if I am unable to provide the care they need. Members of our small immediate family and our few close friends do not seem to understand.

I will call her Amara, [the essence of spiritual and physical beauty.] It was 70 years ago, in our Junior year at high school and it was love at first sight. She was literally the girl of my dreams then and still is the love of my life. I am blessed. We started dating and married 6 years later.

Amara and I have been the perfect team for 65 years, growing together while supporting each other in everyway possible. One of our daughters has given us a wonderful son-in-law, two grandsons to be proud of, and a beautiful great grandson. Our other daughter is single, emotionally ill and lives with us. She is estranged from the rest of the family outside our home.

In recent weeks Amara has been diagnosed with the early stages of dementia. Many of the symptoms have been present for some time. As I have learned, they are not all related directly to memory.

As a believer, I constantly pray. Everyday I ask for the patience and strength to deal with my own short-comings and provide what my dear wife and daughter need from me. Any constructive advice will be deeply appreciated.

I feel like everything's strange since she's been in my life—well, them. Everything's strange. I feel like I can't write calmly. I'm afraid of straying from the norm they want. When I post things on my social media where they're not present, I feel like they're watching me. Also, when I write, I feel like they're pressuring me to keep me insistent when I write, and so they can accuse me of being pushy, obsessive, or something like that.

I don't feel good around her. Her boyfriend is an arrogant person who likes to make others feel bad, and he's also extremely violent, and about things that connect with his past and aren't really a topic of conversation. With her, I feel like every time she has the chance to criticize me for something, once I'm comfortable, she just does it; first she gives in, and then she leaves, pretending to act in ways that keep me quiet or keep me unaware of the issue.

I don't know why these people wanted to associate with me. I feel the hugs from her boyfriend are absolutely fake. Once, I felt like she pulled me in for a hug, and I felt like she was going to accuse me of being a stalker, a pervert. These people really don't give me a good feeling.

I was with her once and said goodbye, thinking she was going to come with me, but no, it turned out she left with her work group. However, when I said goodbye to them, they displayed a strange, absorbing silence. They gave me the impression they were upset with me because of a possessive spirit. Frankly, I acted like nothing was happening, but it really seemed strange to me. Added to this is the fact that several of them, the women in that work group, seem extremely expressive and confident, leaving it up to you to decide whether they're looking for something or not. More than once, I half-assedly tried to get closer to see what the outcome would be, only to be met with rejection, which I dodged. Of course, this group likes to provoke when something gets out of order, invading the normalcy with which they treat you. That order consisted of everything regarding its members being consensual. For God's sake, it's a work group! How can they pretend to be like that?! They seem like those typical dysfunctional families, who are meddlesome in everything related to their members, and like things the way they like them, so as not to lose profits.

The disorder was palpable. Furthermore, that girl liked to encourage her boyfriend to get into situations that always bordered on the limits, provoking others, while being complacent when it came to coworkers. It seemed that her bosses, somehow, maintained the situation or had gotten used to it.

I also didn't like that girl was insinuating things about her relationship, saying that things were going badly, and at the same time treating her as if he were her husband or something. On top of that, she expressed that her environment put too much pressure on her; I saw her numerous times.

What I found in those people was a complete disaster. A total disaster. I don't want them in my life. They are invasive, they provoke others, they push boundaries, and no one does anything to prevent these situations. What this seems to me is a group of victims, who also like to have order in everything around them, with everything they interact with, typical of victims. Furthermore, this is at a prestigious university. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The overload, due to the excesses, is becoming degrading to me. I have to get away from all these people immediately.

I will definitely leave some things behind, however, I will not be in a place where this behavior is encouraged. Besides, it was the university where I studied. I wondered, how could they have ruined it like this? For me, it was practically a luxury, even though I am Catholic. And it is also one of the best in the country. This had to be a nightmare. I wondered, "Where were the priests?" Besides, if the place where I worked, and where I observed the scenes with her boyfriend, was the library, what were they like in other places that are less important to students? I feel like there's no room for peace there, no way. I wanted to have a good time, to be comfortable, but under these relationships, under these people, it's impossible because I have to move as they please. I understand why they chose to associate with me, with extreme kindness. For me, my beloved university, being that library where I liked to study and it was the best place for that, was completely lost.

I felt each of those employees using their positions purely to socialize, instead of using them to work. She sometimes neglected her responsibilities; I had to remind her of her duties. The most horrible thing is that her boyfriend was a sexist... I honestly wanted to die. I can't believe what I witnessed.