Health and Wellness Failures Stories - page 2

There is nothing left.

I am ruined.

You are the reason.

You are the cure.

I feel like I’m on the verge of a whole medical mental breakdown, I’ve had horrible panic attacks recently , death thoughts, even attempting suicide, and I don’t wanna live anymore, I’m only eating half a cucumber a day, and one glass of water and I feel like every single time I cry people find me annoying, and just want me to die.

I used to be a happy and loving person, always smiling, always happy to work my job. But ever since gambling was introduced to my life, all of that Changed. Work has been getting hard to do, I hate seeing other people, I hate doing anything. I just want to die.

I've lost faith in God, i've lost faith in friendship, relationships, even parents. Because nothing has ever helped me.

I Know it's mostly my fault, I don't blame anyone or anything. But I'm sick of living this way.

someone please, I want to stop, Please.

My therapist told me that it's pretty possible that I have some traits of autism, and I don't know a lot about it.

Yes, I know, "google it". But I wanna know if someone have some resources as books, movies, docs, or something about it.

Thanks.

well hi. I'm William. I guess i'm a co-host? idk man. I don't even think I got my own age right on the tracker. help.

I am unable to express myself, and as a result, people misunderstand me, calling me weird or crazy.

​Nobody understands me. Since childhood, I have always just been myself, but my emotional growth is stunted because I grew up in a very volatile environment.

​I rarely got my parents' help when I needed it; I had to solve my own problems, feeling like I had no support. I sometimes cry, thinking about how lonely I feel inside.

​I've realized that people will only give you attention and care if you are providing them with benefits.

​Truly, I crave a little love. I envy people who were lucky enough to grow up in a good, happy, or at least an emotionally sound environment.

​Now, I feel I can never understand certain emotions, such as making bonds over time. I had some nightmare-inducing experiences in childhood that prevent me from having certain emotions.

​As of today, I want to grow, but I don't know how. Whenever I ask anyone for help, they either leave me, laugh, or just talk behind my back about how naive and witless I am.

So, yeah, I have eczema. I'm 13 and I've had it since I was 3, so, it's been a decade. Mine can be red, flaky and swollen if I don't apply creams, but when I drink some antihistamines, put some steroid creams, and when it's only flaky I put moisturizer, I have minimal scarring, more like minor pigmentation. And no flakes, weirdly enough. Only side effect is acne similar to rosacea since they don't look yellow with pus, but maybe that's cus I'm 13. I got a blood test, and my mom told me the doc said I have an allergy to dust and cat fur, which happened a year ago, in Malaysia at Christmas, in one cafe, they had one fat cat, and when I was petting and rubbing, my eye swelled up in the hotel and I started feeling bad. That allergy came out of nowhere! And because I'm somehow way more analytical than my age (I wish I had the same amount as anyone else), I realized the atopic triad exists, and it's all lining up. I've had eczema since I was 3, and now I got cat allergy since last December. Only a mere year back! Asthma's next! It all makes sense because of the triad, and since my grandma (maternal) has asthma herself. So far my tonsils are apparently sensitive according to my orthodontist, and I often get tonsil stones every month. They're small, and appear less than last year, but I have huge crypts.

My doctor actually suggested biologics, because she noticed I use creams, before my mom declined and she suggested oral stuff, so I drank the fake-medicinal-cherry Predo and some other antihistamine, and I don't feel anything weird, besides them tasting gross. But I was panicking when I realized biologics meant NEEDLES IN THE STOMACH, because one lady put it in her belly like it was nothing, and months before, her skin was like an elephant's with scabs (no offense to her, but it looked really painful)! And I'm here like, "Great, now I'm gonna soon have my eczema-equivalent of insulin shots? What else is next, an inhaler!?" Great, I'm fragile. I have acne which my dad thinks is from dirt, eczema, allergies with swelling, and what else is next? Anaphylactic reactions? Asthma!? Man, I'm a china doll! I was even panicking about the asthma for a month. I even cried a few times, because I know of no one besides my grandma with asthma, and I've heard once you get it, it's lifelong, it can be bad, you can't do normal human stuff like wear wooly sweaters, or own fluffy animals, or go out and run without feeling horrible. And the inhaler felt like a CPAP, meant for people with bad illnesses. It just felt like a sign of weakness. I even came up with a full plan to eat so much sugary food, like think animal-style fries with jug chocolate milkshakes with ice cream sundaes, strawberry vape, and just give up! I'm fine now, but I thought about it then! Now I'm like, "Why? Why did I think that?"

It's just, it seems scary. Just, it may do it. It may have skipped a generation for mom, and 2 generations for dad (his grandma had eczema), but it may get me soon. I already got eczema. Asthma may come next, and I may live for about 70 years. My grandma being alive at 64 is somehow there. I may get it. I didn't get symptoms for cat allergies until December, and it's been happening ever since! Most recently, I pet a cat near a college, and my eye got swollen, my rash got worse, and I started sneezing. Just, even with the pet bit, I wanna have a cat, but now about the fur, I feel bad. And with lizards or reptiles, they don't have that sort of love hormone in them, so they're just seeing you in infrared and only see you as "Feed me, human". But hey, people make sacrifices, maybe this is one of them. Like, if you can't get a villa, get an apartment. But yeah, I'm doing better now, mentally, so please, don't panic about that bit. When I saw a Dupixent ad, it felt...interesting. They said the usual, Dupixent helps clear severe eczema in a few months with long-lasting effects, yada yada, but it also showed stuff like a girl playing some football, and a couple together, and they said stuff like, "Touch can show teamwork, touch can show love. We wanna make sure that touch feels like you and true." Welp, they are right that people will worry if I'm okay if I flare up. Who wouldn't? Last time I got rash on my eyelids, one dude in the pool asked me why they're red. He didn't inquire further, but still.

Like, one girl has perioral eczema, but she manages it well enough where I can't see it, but her lips are kinda dark with pink spots. One girl gets really bad reactions during peak summer. Meanwhile if I don't put cream, I get flaky-ah rash, if I put cream, I get acne on my cheeks, like small pustules, some are the red ones, some are blackheads. The doc suggested I take Dupixent, or actually biologics, but my mom doesn't trust her for some reason. Dupixent is a cure as much as Accutane is a cure. It's trendy, it's new, it's great. So why is mom saying we need to verify this with more doctors and not just one? It's not like vaccines where I could die, right? Why is she telling me to check with more doctors? Everyone with eczema uses it, right? I mean, come on, that lady had a huge glow-up! I bet she was able to sleep easier at night because she's not itching like heck at bed! So why is she asking for a second opinion? It's meant to be a long-term help for years, not a few months. While my eczema may not be as bad, it'll be cured by the needle. So please, whoever has eczema here, is mom being stupid or is she being smart? And tell me your experiences with finding treatment and living with it, I really wanna know. I feel isolated anyways with inherited atopic dermatitis.

so I'm laughing so hard rn ha ha I laugh everytim I see those scratches on my arm ha haaa ha they're so funny and cute

dies

I love the taste of my own blood wbu

I was diagnosed with Alpha-Gal Syndrome and it's ruining my life.

Google:

Alpha-gal syndrome (AGS) is a delayed-type allergic reaction to a sugar molecule called alpha-galactose (alpha-gal). It is primarily caused by the bite of the lone star tick (Amblyomma americanum).

Basically, with AGS, I can't have any mammal meat, or the byproducts. With AGS, you can develop an allergy to dairy and gluten as well. I'm dairy reactive as of 3 months ago. I thought it would be okay but it's not.

From the start.

Before I was diagnosed I noticed I was breaking out in hives, and they got bad. At one point I had to drive myself to the ER but my legs were so swollen they felt numb, it was terrifying. I had no idea why that was happening. I was eventually referred to an ENT Specialist to get tested for allergies. It was the standard allergy test and I needed bloodwork. Two weeks after the tests, I got the unfortunate news, I could no longer enjoy my favorite foods. I was devastated, depressed even. I was constantly in tears, barely eating, slowly slipping into depression. It took 3 months for me to finally accept that I could no longer have any mammalian meat or byproducts. At that point, I wasn't reactive to dairy or gluten, so it wasn't the worst. I was getting sick of eating chicken for every meal. I tried to cut meat completely but that just made me sick, and extremely weak.

With the help of my amazing fiancé, I started to get better mentally. I finally took back my life, I started working out, eating healthy balanced meals, it was amazing, until it wasn't. A few months before my 1 year check up for AGS, I started to just constantly be in pain again. It wasn't hives, it was the most painful stomach aches, mostly in my lower abdomen. I was freaking out, I didn't know what to do or why it was happening. Cut to my one year check in, I tell the Doc what I was feeling and all of my symptoms, then she gives me even more bad news: no more dairy.

It's been two months since dairy got cut from my diet and I'm struggling so much. People around me, at work, in class, even my own family, all keep calling me dramatic and tell me to suck it up. I CAN NOT JUST GET OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS!! I went my ENTIRE life with no allergies, never been allergic to ANYTHING until now. I'm losing so much weight that I can't keep up with. I can feel myself slipping slowly. I've been in so much pain since not being able to have dairy, it's like my body is rejecting this diet. I have another appointment coming up soon, and I just have this feeling that Doc is gonna cut gluten out of my diet too. If that gets cut, I'll literally starve. Everything now tastes bland, no matter how much I season it. I try new recipes, my fiancé tries recipes and I just want to puke after eating anything because of how bad it tastes. I can't stay positive over this anymore. I'm sad and I'm sick of people telling me to get over it because I can't.

(its a fictional language it's not meant to be understood and I don't want feedback. don't reply to this.)

Sín, menskine kenniii. Wērn f mar esferski lexunis overwhelmed ankestor mendun mar esferski menskine enich jealous, sín, menskine kenniii. Wērn n mar esferski enich boziini munix laefter okrúnté, e esferski lukuntämä ketaint, sín menskine kenniii. Makrëp lexunis ter pressure lofe kemá mei lexunisen estômen, sín menskine kenniii. Agutén, mon menskine enich, ankestor mendanki kexądt laefter kennalesek elivia menskine enich jealous

Is there any good advice to lose weight but then get really committed to it?

How do you get if someone is fat? today's standards are shit and that much I know but I just cannot get how to get if I'm fat.

I struggle with seeing myself as fat, I know I'm probably not, my BMI says I'm not but I still see myself as that and I don't know how to fix this.

unfortunately because of this I feel self conscious wearing some clothes and I get really insecure when I see girls that are skinnier than me. literally if I wont weigh myself every day I'd get anxious and a couple of times to the point of a slight panic attack.

I know it's not healthy at 15 but I just don't know how to deal with it, because this just makes me feel guilty every time I eat, no matter if the food is healthy or not.

(so I was imagining a scenario in which I accidentally-on purpose overdose on my new antidepressants)

Me: *walking into school, feeling not good at ALL*

Barley: "Inari! ... are you ok?"

Me: *collapses, ded*

everyone: *freaking the fuck out*

and then Clive went, "let me show you how it would really happen."

Me: *walking into school, feeling not good at ALL*

Barley: "Inari! ... you good?"

Me: *collapses, ded*

Barley: *shrugs, indifferent*

Everyone else: *just like, well that happened, oh well"

(another scenario, in which someone shoots me in the head at school)

me and barley: *walking down the hall, minding our own damn business*

*then gunshots and i'm dead*

Barley: *FREAKING out*

(the school gets put on lockdown and ppl are screaming)

and then Clive went, "let me show you how it would really happen."

me and barley: *walking down the hall, minding our own damn business*

*then gunshots and i'm dead*

Barley: *shrugs and keeps walking*

(the school gets put on lockdown and ppl just keep minding their own business bc I was the only victim and nobody knows who I am)

Alexithyma

noun

the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions.

I’m 13, a girl, and stuck in 8th grade with the person who assaulted me. I don’t want to live. If I don’t get help I’m killing myself.