Religion Disillusionment Stories

I'm 24 and have been eagerly planning my spring wedding. One of my bridesmaids, who also happens to be my childhood best friend and is 22, has always been a big part of my life. Our personalities aren’t much alike; she’s much more sheltered and deeply religious compared to me. Five months ago, she started dating her first serious boyfriend and they're quite serious about each other, partly because he shares her religious beliefs and background. It’s quite likely they’ll end up married too, since they were each other’s first serious romantic partners.

In weddings, typically the bridal party pairs up, walking down the aisle and entering the reception together. However, my friend expressed a concern to me: she feels it would be disrespectful to her relationship if she were to walk with one of the groomsmen. Instead, she proposed that her boyfriend walk with her during these key moments—just walk with her then return to his seat, not actually be a part of the wedding party itself.

Honestly, I find this request a bit odd and I'm leaning towards saying no because it might disrupt the flow and traditional appearance of the wedding procession and reception introductions. Although I don’t believe her boyfriend suggested this idea, it does seem aligned with her own values, yet I can't shake off feeling that this could create an awkward situation. If I refuse, I suspect she won’t back out from her role as a bridesmaid, but it might strain our relationship as she could think I'm not respecting her relationship.

What's puzzling is how to handle this situation delicately without causing a fuss. If this were some sort of reality show drama, you'd expect the cameras zooming in as I navigate this friendship-testing dilemma. How would the audience react to each decision? Would they side with tradition or personal respect for her relationship? The pressure would definitely be amped up with public opinion thrown into the mix!

In a situation like this, how would you handle it if you were being watched by an audience? Would you stick to wedding traditions or customize the procession to respect your friend's relationship?

I recently returned from church feeling a tad perplexed. I have quite small eyes, which I'm somewhat self-conscious about and are normally hidden behind my glasses. During a moment in the service where the pastor was praying over the congregation, I opted to remove my spectacles to prevent them from slipping off. I suppose he noticed my small eyes because, after the service, he approached me, commenting on their size and requesting to see them without my glasses. I brushed off his request with a laugh and a playful 'no', mainly because of my insecurities.

I didn't think much of the interaction at the time, but upon returning home, my mother criticized my reaction. She suggested that I should have just complied with his request, and labelled my response as rude. She even insinuated that my behavior was like that of a teenage girl harboring a crush on the pastor, who is a 40-year-old married man with three children and a wife. I was just trying to shield myself from further discomfort due to my insecurities, and I definitely didn't intend any disrespect.

This whole situation has left me in a quandary. I had no intention of sounding rude; I was merely acting out of insecurity. Now, I’m unsure how to rectify the situation or if I should even address it further with my pastor or mother.

If this scenario played out on a reality show, the reaction would likely be amplified and interpreted in numerous ways by the audience. Reality TV thrives on misunderstandings and personal interactions, turning minor incidents into major plot points. Viewers might side with me, understanding the action as a defense mechanism against insecurity. Others might view it as disrespectful or unnecessarily cold, aligning more with my mother’s perspective. It would be interesting to see how reality show editors would portray the interaction, potentially spotlighting it as a pivotal moment in the episode, complete with suspenseful music and dramatic cutaways to the reactions of other congregants or confessionals that delve into personal feelings and motives behind the actions.

As a Muslim woman who chooses to wear the hijab, I strictly adhere to the conviction of covering my hair and most of my body as a gesture of faith and modesty. My choice in this regard is personal and based on my religious beliefs; I respect the choices of others who may be different from my own while not imposing my values on them.

Recently, I attended the bachelorette party of my longtime friend, Layla, just before her wedding. Layla, who isn’t particularly religious, has always respected my customs – she even selected a modest-style abaya for me to wear as her maid of honor. Our understanding always made me comfortable in our friendship, believing that she appreciated the significance of my hijab.

At the all-women gathering, I felt relaxed enough to remove my hijab since we were amidst close friends and planned an overnight stay. The fun evening included watching movies and taking pictures and videos – memories captured among friends, meant to stay private. I assumed these images were confined to our chat groups.

However, after driving home the next day, I saw that Layly had tagged me in a public Instagram post where my hair was visible. I immediately contacted her to kindly remove the image or at least cover my hair in the photo. Surprisingly, Layla objected, citing that there were no better photos and that I was overreacting. Troubled by her response, I suggested cropping me out or modifying the image, but she was adamant that it wouldn’t look right.

Feeling upset, I expressed my concerns in our group chat, hoping for support. Opinions were divided; some friends sided with me, understanding my request for privacy, while others, led by one who often opposes me, disregarded my feelings. Layla defended her position by saying the wedding stress was overwhelming her, although I don't see how this issue relates to her wedding preparations.

Amidst this, I couldn’t help but wonder, if my situation were part of a reality TV show, would the audience perceive my reaction as an overreaction or see it as a justified call for personal respect and privacy? The nature of reality TV often skews true intentions for dramatic effect, potentially magnifying my distress or trivializing it to entertain an audience.

Am I unreasonable in wanting respect for my privacy and religious practices, or is it too much to expect friends to understand and honor my personal choices?

After dating for three years and facing financial difficulties that forced us to live separately with roommates, my partner (32F) and I (27F) are thrilled to finally move in together. This marks the first time both of us will create a living space that's entirely our own, without having to share it with others.

Raised in a staunchly Catholic household, I was exposed to rigorous religious practices from a very young age, which included church every Sunday and frequent prayers. Despite resisting confirmation and enduring my mother's disapproval of my bisexuality—strangely enough, she seems more accepting of homosexuality generally—I eventually moved out at 18 and maintained a cautious relationship with her. She has somewhat softened over the years but still persists in inviting me to church weekly, even though I've expressly asked her not to.

She's polite to my girlfriend largely because she knows I would prioritize my partner over her, especially after my girlfriend was unjustly labeled as a predator due to our age difference. My girlfriend herself has had a painful history with religion, having suffered abuse at the hands of her family after being outed at a young age, all justified by religious beliefs. Her faith in a higher power remains, although she rejects organized religion and worship.

Our collective experiences have led us to establish our new home as a sanctuary free from religious influences. This includes prohibitions on praying, displaying religious symbols, proselytizing, and even discussing religion-related topics. This decision is particularly irksome to my mother, who finds it difficult to abstain from sharing church-related stories with us, and bristles at our rule to conceal her cross necklace while visiting. She accuses us of hypocrisy, but I've stood firm, reminding her of her fortunate position in my life despite our strained relations. Even some friends suggest we might be acting excessively, twisting our traumas into a form of retribution.

Imagining if our life was a part of a reality TV show, I wonder how viewers would perceive our strict no-religion policy in our home. Likely, it would polarize opinions, with some sympathizing with our need to create a safe, secular space due to our past traumas, while others might view us as overbearing or intolerant towards my mother's expressions of faith.

Is the no-religion rule in our home too strict?

Growing up, my life was deeply entrenched in religious practices, as both of my parents embraced faith as young adults, met at church, and centered their entire social existence around religious activities. About five years ago, I realized that I didn't share their beliefs, and ever since revealing this, our relationship has been strained, particularly with my mother. As a child, I often protested attending church and expressed my discomfort with having religion imposed upon me. My stance saddened my parents, especially my mother, who confessed that it made her question her faith. They explained that since I live under their roof and am financially dependent on them, I must abide by their rules, which includes attending church.

As I've matured, I've come to understand how fundamental their faith is to them and that they believe they are acting in my best interest. Thus, I attend church with them every week without complaint. However, I still struggle when they continuously bring religion into daily conversations. Seeking advice usually leads to responses laden with religious references, which don’t resonate with me. Although I've tried to explain my point of view, it often results in arguments, with my parents insisting that they are just trying to offer guidance.

Not long ago, during a lengthy car ride, they insisted on interrupting my music listening to share a biblical passage. This demand sparked frustration in me, prompting me to confront their forceful approach. The situation escalated, and as a consequence, they confiscated my phone for the rest of the journey. While losing my phone is trivial, the recurring theme of such disputes pains me.

Understanding my change of heart has been hard for my parents, but their insistence on incorporating Christianity into aspects of my life where it makes me uncomfortable seems like an infringement on my personal boundaries. Am I indeed being closed-minded by asking them to refrain from pushing their beliefs on me, or am I unjustified here?

If my situation was featured in a reality show, the reactions could be quite polarized. Viewers might side with me, feeling sympathetic towards my desire for personal belief independence, while others might regard my parents' actions as justified guidance for someone under their care. This could potentially lead to heated debates among the audience about the balance between parental influence and individual freedom.

I, a 36-year-old man, am married to a woman named Laura, who's 34 and expecting our son. Early in the discussion about baby names, Laura suggested we name our son after her late grandfather. His name, which we’ll say is Archibald, seemed outdated and likely to bring about teasing, so I suggested it as a middle name instead to avoid any ridicule. Laura agreed, and it seemed settled.

Recently, Laura's new colleague, Ocean, who practices a pagan faith, has become a good friend of hers. Laura, finding joy in Ocean's beliefs, decided to convert and started incorporating things like sage and crystals into our home for her rituals. However, things took a turn when Laura attended a séance at Ocean’s place, where they supposedly contacted her grandfather's spirit. She came home convinced that failing to name our child Archibold would curse him. Despite my objections and concerns for our son's wellbeing with such a name, Laura insists, driven by her newfound spiritual beliefs, that it’s the only option.

The tension escalated when she locked herself in our room after I stood my ground. Ocean has even messaged me on Instagram, criticizing my stance and calling me a bad father. Now, I'm trying to make sense of this and could use some outside perspective.

Imagine if this was all playing out on a reality TV show. The cameras would definitely zoom in on the dramatic séance scene and Laura locking herself away. Viewers would probably be split; some might sympathize with her spiritual experience while others could argue the impracticality of naming a child based on a séance. It’d be a perfect mix for heated panel discussions and social media buzz, turning our personal dilemma into a public spectacle.

I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong here and I need some outside perspectives. For some background, I (24f) and my friend (24f) were both raised Catholic, but she converted to Islam about four years ago because she got married. We grew up together and did everything together, including our first communion and being baptized a week apart. I’ve never believed in just one true religion and have explored many.

Now to the issue: I started learning Arabic while in the army, and a few months ago I reached a level where I could read the entire Qur'an. This is when I first noticed a problem. My friend's husband (let's call him A’s Husband and my friend A) joked that I was a better Muslim than A. A then burst into tears and yelled at her husband for hurting her feelings, saying how hard she works to be a perfect Muslimah. He apologized profusely and left the room. I made sure she was okay before leaving. The next day she said she overreacted due to pregnancy hormones. It sounded weird but okay. Fast forward to now, she’s about to have her baby and asks me to babysit her other kid while she delivers. I agreed because the kid is like a nephew to me. The entire time the kid was whining and crying, so I got an idea. I have trouble sleeping and listen to recitations of the Qur'an. It helps me fall asleep and I thought it might be good to have it playing during a stressful experience. I turned on Spotify, found a peaceful recitation, and the kid fell asleep instantly. I fell asleep too until I heard knocking at the door. A’s husband said, “What a fantastic idea to play the Qur'an during this blessed occasion, I swear (my name) you’re a better Muslim than us.” A then exploded. She said a lot of hurtful things, including, “Allah doesn’t love lesbian tattooed sluts” (I’m bi and have only been with my boyfriend). She then told me to stop pretending to be Muslim and either stop my sinful ways or stop appropriating her culture. I left immediately, thinking it was just her being stressed. Today, I texted her asking if she was okay, and she responded with, “Don’t text me until you apologize for appropriating Muslim culture.”

Should I apologize? I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but have I been appropriating Muslim culture?

I wonder how things would have played out if we were on a reality show. Would people see me as the villain for unintentionally hurting my friend, or would they see her as overreacting and being unfair? It’s hard to know how our private issues would be judged in the public eye.

When I was around 2 or 3, my parents went through a divorce. My dad had an epiphany and became deeply religious after being an atheist for years, which clashed with my mom's beliefs. They had been on the same page about religion until my dad pushed for my mom to convert and baptize me. My mom stood her ground, and they eventually divorced. The court granted my mom decision-making power over religious matters. This meant I could attend church with my dad until I was 12, but after that, it couldn't be forced upon me. I also wasn't required to take religious education classes or become a church member.

As soon as I turned 12, I stopped going to church and haven't returned since.

My dad remarried when I was 7, and he and my stepmom have kids together. They were upset when I refused to go to church with them or participate in their religious activities. I would sit quietly during prayers but never joined in. I even told them I've never said a single prayer in my life, even though they brought me to church for years.

Now that I'm nearly 18, they're starting to panic. They've been trying to have conversations with me, asking me to give religion and god a chance, to attend church with them one or two more times, and really listen. But I've always known my answer: no. I don't believe in any of it and never will. I told them they can believe what they want, but I’m an atheist and don’t believe in god, heaven, or anything spiritual.

My dad and stepmom said I should respect them enough to try, and my stepmom cried about how awkward and sad it would be for their kids to realize their big brother dismisses their beliefs. They were really angry and said I was disrespectful before I went back to my mom's house.

Am I being mean by doing that?

I wonder how this would play out if I were on a reality show. Would people see me as the bad guy for standing my ground, or would they understand my perspective?

I regularly play Dungeons & Dragons with a group of five, counting myself. There is the Dungeon Master and four players. I am friends with two other people outside D&D. With the other two, I have a friendly relationship that is limited to playing D&D. We've been playing for most of a year and have always gotten along.

I am Christian, and while my religion is very important to me, I do my best to be tolerant of other people and not to shove my religion down someone else's throat. I don't mention my religion to other people unless it comes up or they ask me. I can take jokes about my religion and personal beliefs, and do not consider myself uptight about it. I know that some Christians are very sensitive to parodies and the like, I either laugh or roll my eyes and move on. For example, while I avoid taking the Lord's name in vain, I don't really care if someone else does - it's their belief and choice.

Our group finished a short campaign and decided to start a new one, complete with new characters. We were all having fun making our characters, rolling, etc., until one of the players (we'll call him Ted) decided to name his character after the true, personal name of the Lord. If you don't know what that is, look up "The Tetragrammaton" or "HaShem" and you'll find out. I can't say it or type it here.

When I saw the name of Ted's character, I asked why he named it that, and he asked if I knew the true name of the Lord. I said I did, and said that the name offended me and asked him to change it. He laughed and said I was being too sensitive and that it was just a D&D character. I said that naming a character that goes against my religion and it was offensive to me, and I again asked him to change the name of the character.

The others got involved and after a few minutes of discussion, the others sided with Ted and told me to lighten up about it. One of them said that they didn't really care about Ted's character's name or my religion, but they wanted to get on with playing and that I needed to stop delaying the game. About a half hour later, we started playing, and for the rest of the night, I referred to Ted's character as "Ted's character," including when I was roleplaying and talking as my character. When I did that, the others rolled their eyes and the DM told me that this was stupid and shouldn't get in the way of roleplaying.

That was last week. Everyone else still thinks I'm in the wrong about this and making too big a deal of the whole thing. I don't want to cause trouble, but not only is it offensive to me for Ted to name his character that, my religion prohibits me from typing or saying the name of his character. AITA? Please help me figure out what to do. Other than this one incident, I've always thought Ted was a nice person, and we've gotten along fine.

If this had happened on a reality show, I wonder how viewers would react. Would they see my side of the story and understand my position, or would they think I'm overreacting like my friends do? Reality shows often highlight the drama, and I can't help but think this situation would be blown out of proportion, with people taking sides and debating the sensitivity of religious beliefs versus freedom in character creation.