Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 31

(not really family dramma? but idk where to put It)

So it's currently 2.00 am of 22 of july. It's gonna be her birthday on the 28. I'm currently trying to prepare something nice. I'm gonna make a cake on the 27, i intend to make a card and i'm currently trying to make a handsewed sock cat pushie. But at the same time i have mixed feelings cause i think that's a good idea but also i think It's kinda crappy and unfortunatly i couldn't buy anything this year so i feel guilty, and also i'm a beginner in sewing and the pushie already has a lot of mistakes and i'm afraid It's gonna turn out ugly and i'm gonna have to remake It. At the same time i don't even know if i actually have the right to make this and give her any of that stuff bc she right about me being selffish and being a bad person and It Is true that i'm making her life worse. And today i couldn't stop thinking about It. I really am like them and him even when i'm trying to do something good. And what if she's right about me and i am like them, why am i really giving her this gift? Is It because I wanna be forgiven for being bad? Can i even be forgiven if i can never actually be better? Is all of this Just a pretense to feel better about myself and not feel as evil? Will this crappy mediocre gift even mean anything? Will i even make in time to do everything? Is She right about the fact that i am like them and that I should be with them cause their Just as bad as me? Idk my thoughts are mess and my head Is killing me right now.

Move on and let go or die trying you too nosy for your own good huh? You think you are helping when in reality you are just making up excuses trying to find ways to put me to hell? "Creating scenarios in your fcking head? You think you know everything you can't even see me in person without insulting when u gay af as well

Don't concern yourself with things that doesn't concern you like my wifi. Don't concern yourself with how stable it is if it's not crying. If you want to be a superhero erase my debt if you please :)))). Don't concern yourself with things that doesn't concern you coz after all it produces so much x100000000 damage than it could help someone. Unless we have talked in person that we be the only time it would be cleared but then again if you already judged someone already on your head no amount of explanation can heal yourself of judgements. Might as well don't give a dck about it if you please lol

My dad is a conspiracy theorist and it’s driving me insane. I think he is losing it mentally because he spends hours outside at night taking pictures and manipulating them to see crazy faces in the pixels and making up monsters. He makes me look at them all the time, He will wake me up in the middle of the night to look at them. If I don’t see what he sees, then he gets mad or upset with me. He is convinced that he has seen ghosts and talked to demons and made a deal with them.

Today he has been trying to convince me that the earth is flat by showing me a YouTube short. Yesterday he tried to convince me that dinosaurs weren’t real. I’ve tried to tell him I don’t like conspiracy stuff unless it makes sense, mainly about like company’s drama and stuff like that. He got upset and thought I didn’t like him and that I hated him, I tried to explain it to him and he still felt the same way for like a week. I felt bad and ended up just giving in to his delusions. I just tell him I see the stuff in the pictures, but I don’t believe the earth is flat and that dinosaurs weren’t real. He said I was stupid for believing in that. I just said that I had my opinion and I had his which he was thought stupid but agreed. Honestly I’m kinda getting tired of it because he will fake being possessed and make his voice deeper and slower. Sometimes he will fake pass out and me and my little sister have to shake him to get him to not fall over or to wake up. Sometimes he does it when we are in other rooms but will cough fake but loudly and if we don’t go in to help him, he will yell “Thanks for all the help!”. It’s kinda hard to deal with him like this when I already have derealization and him trying to convince me that everything is fake and that we live in a simulation and that we are just a giant test like the hunger games or some shit

There is thi guy i absolutely love, and hes crazy mad about me too. The problem is that my mother is there, she doesn't allow me. The guy is a BIG FAT GREEN WALKING FLAG. cares, romantic, protective, emotionally and mentally available and kind. Im not allowed to talk to him, and i get threatened if i do, my mother will tell my father.

I can’t get out of this. It has been almost 2 years since my A levels but it still haunts me. I have achieved A*s after extreme hard work as I was never that great of a student in my childhood so I had to work a lot. However in my A levels I got relatively poor grades especially in Biology, and biology is my strongest subject ( seriously ). Because of those grades I couldn’t even apply to Medical school, which has been my dream since childhood, as it’s a requirement to have an A for the application. It's so bad that the thought of it makes me nauseous.

My mom used to say, "What's the point of receiving the highest grades at school if you score that badly?" My dad called me a third grade student twice ( meaning like an extremely bad student ) and asked which university would ever take me in as I received those grades. My university has two similar courses like A levels and before giving the quizzes or exams I always panic and cry. My family is so tired of hearing me say all of this that it has affected me a lot because I have seen myself get compared with my siblings and friends. I wish I could move on but getting good grades in A levels had been such a long dream of mine that I can’t move on, I feel like such a failure, even now at university whenever I get a good grade or I feel like I know the content I feel like I am deceiving myself as I did so bad. I can’t move on.

My friend (Roe) has recently got a girlfriend, they just started dating about a month ago. Him and I have always been really close since we met and talked almost everyday but recently he's been spending more time with her which is expected. There are some things he does though that is making me really mad and I just want to know if I'm crazy for being mad. When she (his gf) is at work or somewhere not at home the two of us will hangout and play games like we have for a while, but its becoming a thing that as soon as she gets home he disappears. We will be in the middle of a game or even just talking and he will just leave without saying anything. I tend to overthink a lot in general so I'm not sure if I should bring up how hurt this is making me feel to him because I feel like im overreacting. I know new couples tend to want to spend all of their time together and I'm happy he found someone, but I also feel like my friendship is just now being used as a placeholder for when she is not around.

I lied to my friends and the only friend left is still talking to me and she wants me to admit somtthing else to her but Iam so scared and anxious that shes just going to block me like the others and I dont know what todo besdies ignore it and hope she just thinks I dropped off of the platform

I (F22) have been dating my girlfriend (F21) for 3 years.

🧡 We met 1-2 weeks before starting college, since we were going to be classmates. She was supposed to live in the dorms for free, but after 2 days, she hated it and invited herself to sleep over at my place (we barely knew each other). We hooked up that night - and she basically never left. Classic lesbian stereotype, I know.

🌈 At first, I hid from my parents that she was living with me since they were paying my rent and didn’t know her. After 2 months, we made it official. A few months later, she met my parents (they thought we were just friends) and they adored her. She came home with me every visit. After 2 years, I told them we were together, and surprisingly, they were super supportive - even got over their strong homophobia for her. Now they treat her like their own daughter, and my whole family loves her... even more than they love me, sometimes.

💼 She’s been a super supportive partner and has helped me a lot with my business. I honestly wouldn’t be where I am without her. But she doesn’t have a job, and her abusive parents don’t support her or even know about us. She lives off a small scholarship allowance and feels guilty for not contributing more. I got her a laptop, my dad got her a phone, but she refuses to let me hire her because she wants to earn her own money. I usually cover everything, and I don’t mind since my business does very well. We recently moved to another apt, and my parents still pay the rent for both of us.

💔 The truth is, I don’t think I ever truly loved her romantically. I was probably just scared of being alone in a new city and clung to her because we were both lesbians and colleagues. I mistook her vibe for something more masculine at first, but over time I realized she’s not really my type physically. I do love her personality - she’s emotional, artistic, and sees the world beautifully. I’d often find myself staring at other people, not fantasizing, just feeling a quiet frustration inside. In the first year we were very active se)(ually, but now I am forcing myself to do it. I'm not enjoying it.

🕳️ When I moved away for college, I was excited to live independently, but that never really happened. She moved in almost immediately, and we became co-dependent: always together, doing everything side by side. Now that we just finished college, I feel like I missed out on everything -freedom, partying, self-discovery. While others were out living, I was working nonstop on my business. I am succesful, I've even been on the news, but I feel empty, like I sold my soul for money. Sometimes, I think the only escape is death. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, but I’m scared to leave. My parents love her and they’d never forgive me. They would never accept another girl, because SHE is the reason they stopped being homophobic.

🏠 I’ve been saving for a house abroad and told her it’s for both of us, but she hasn’t contributed financially because she doesn’t have a job. I’m not upset - most people our age aren’t making this much, but she constantly compares herself to me and feels like a failure. She has breakdowns because she can’t provide, even though most students don’t have it figured out yet. I tried encouraging her to freelance; she got one client and gave up. I have tons of business and investment ideas, but she won’t act on them. I can’t keep pushing her. I’m already exhausted from running my business and dealing with my own mental health issues.

🌍 I’ve always valued freedom, and marriage feels like a cage. I like being alone and dream of traveling the world. I could afford to do it now, but I can’t because she can’t afford it and feels guilty when I pay. I know she’ll get a job eventually and things might balance out, but for now, I’m sad my youth is slipping away. My past relationships were traumatic - one landed me in the hospital, another was a drug addict, one dug up her dead dog’s skull, and another cheated on me while I paid for everything because she was nearly homeless. This time, I chose someone kind and stable, not really my type, but safe. She’s never hurt me, but I’m still unhappy. And even though I know she’s not using me, I’m tired of always being the provider.

📱💬 I know you’ll judge me, and I don’t blame you. Last year, feeling lonely and needing a new friend, I started chatting with a masc lesbian on Bumble BFF. She had a girlfriend, so I saw her as a safe friend. She was adventurous, always traveling and doing extreme sports - basically the life I wanted. She wasn’t the issue... it was what she awakened in me. She was the version of myself I never got to be. We talked nonstop for months, and my girlfriend noticed. I felt happy texting the other girl - not se)(ually, just less lonely. My girlfriend got jealous, and I understood why, but I couldn’t stop. The girl broke up with her partner of 4 years and started dating around. I was interested in her stories because I was frustrated about my own relationship. She invited me to hang out, but my girlfriend asked me to cut contact, saying the other girl was flirting. I didn't tell my gf that that girl broke up with her partner, because I wanted to keep things safe. She eventually removed me from her following list and she unfollowed me, because I stopped replying to her texts, since my gf was mad.

💀 I want to be honest. I hoped we’d become best friends and maybe more. Some of our chats felt like flirting. She complimented me a lot, and we talked nonstop. After we started talking, I had a breakdown and told my girlfriend I didn’t love her and wanted to break up. She was devastated and she thought I was falling for that girl. I couldn’t break up for real because I worried about my parents and that my girlfriend would have nowhere to live. I told another time I wanted to break up, and she begged on her knees for me to stay. We’re stuck together for at least two more years because we’re doing our masters in the same city. I feel trapped and often think about su!cide as the only way out. The pressure from my parents, business, and her situation feels overwhelming.

💔 It’s been 1 year since I stopped talking to that girl, but I’m still frustrated my gf wouldn’t let me meet her. I think I developed an unhealthy obsession, hoping to run into her or reconnect. Now I see it was emotional cheating and wrong. I never even met her in person, so it was just lust stuck in my mind. Since then, my girlfriend lost trust in me and started trying to be more masculine, feeling like she was competing and getting easily triggered.

🚫 I’m stuck. Leaving my girlfriend now would ruin my relationship with my family, and she’d have nowhere to go. But staying makes me more depressed every day. I’m on medication and feel like my youth is slipping away. I regret not exploring more before her. I only slept with 2 women before. When I tried to break up, she begged me to stay and offered that I could sleep around while she waited but I refused because that wouldn’t be fair to her.

🪞I’m still dating her but feel guilty for leading her on. I’ve lost myself in this relationship and put on 10 kg. I hate the way I look. I wanted someone who would push me, but she’s my mirror. We even say the same things and act alike. We often leave the house messy because we’re both struggling mentally and isolated from friends. She had therapy for a while but stopped due to cost. Her therapist once told her that they knew the girl I talked to. It used to be one of their old patients but she was problematic. The fact that the therapist told my gf the confidential info about that other girl made me distrust therapy even more. Although I know people will say I need it.

Please tell me what you think about this situation. You can be harsh, because I know that what I did was not moral at all. I haven’t told any of my friends this, because I am afraid. All of our friends are common and they would think I am a s!lut. I have been keeping this inside for over one year. Thank you!

So, this all started a couple months back when school was just out for the summer. With nothing to do, I turned to my friend who, I'll just call squib. For context, squib has been depressed for years and had attempted a couple weeks before school was over. Causing her to go the mental hospital for about a week. She has another group of friends that I don't get along with too well. After her attempt, her parents put her on an extremely tight schedule, allowing only an hour or two at a time for devices. So, the story starts while on a call with her. We were playing some random Roblox game when her parents had to take her somewhere. She told me that she'd be back in around two hours and so I agreed and waited patiently for her. I was pretty bored during the time so I was just playing random games. It was 2 hours later and she still hadn't texted me. I just thought she was still out. Another hour. I'm confused. I then log back into Roblox and see her playing with her other group of friends. Oh... I text her in discord and she gives short- and somewhat incomprehensible answers saying "I'm distracting. Cali " alluding to her playing dandy's world with her other friends. I brush it off as being forgetful. But then this started happening multiple times. And Everytime it happened, I could feel a piece of trust being broken. I talked to her later and she said she would try to be better. And she did! She's gotten better about it... Or so I thought. Recently, she has cancelled last minute on me FOUR TIMES IN A ROW. And Everytime she's always busy. I know that her

Excuses are probably true because of her tight schedule but the fact that it happened 4 times is just crazy to me. I told her the 3rd time she cancelled that I was going to make a last ditch effort for her to come over and spend time and that she had the ENTIRE week to get her stuff done. But, in the end, she didn't make it. I would understand if it were some really long important thing that she worked on the entire time. But it was just planning for a roadtrip. She took breaks in the middle to game, read, and do other things (yes, I know, it's good for her mental health and all :c ) but she promised to hurry it up so she should come! I just... Don't know how to feel. She's broken my trust so many times and it hurts. But she has so many good explanations that just make me feel selfish. If you guys can help that would be very much appreciated 😞.

I kind of need academical advice but I don’t know who to ask. I’m currently studying microbiology and the way my country’s education system goes is like we have to study all 12 months and the breaks we get is like max 2 weeks. So I am not even able to look for internship opportunities because my classes starts at like 9am and ends at 6pm and my breaks are not even that long. I am at the end of my first year so I am a bit confused also a bit panicked. My university offers an internship project at the very end of our 4/5 year program but that’s after graduating and I did get one offer for research but it was handed over to senior students. I am very confused about what I should do? Is there any microbiology online internships? If so, is it a good idea to try them? If there are any microbiology students here then can you help me out please 😭

ok whatever im just gonna say it bc it’s eating me alive

there’s this new girl in our class and idk what it is about her but she just walked in and everything shifted like she doesn’t even do anything she’s just THERE and everyone likes her. like for no reason. like she breathes and people are like omg she’s so cool. why. idk. she’s just that type

and ofc my crush who ive liked since like forever is now dating her bc of course he is. he used to talk to me a lot and now he’s always around her like following her around and laughing at everything she says and they have this whole thing now and i just sit there like 🙂👍

and the teachers too. they used to come to me for everything. all the responsibility stuff. like being class rep, helping plan things, helping other students. now they go to her. suddenly she’s the one everyone depends on and listens to and im just here like a background character in my own class. it’s like no one even noticed the switch. not even me. it just… happened

but here’s the worst part i CANT even be mad at her. bc she’s actually really really nice. like painfully nice. i was crying in the bathroom once and she literally waited outside until i came out and then she just hugged me and didn’t even ask anything. another time i didn’t have pads and she just handed me one silently like she knew without me saying a word. and when i skipped school she gave me these notes that were like?? perfect??? she literally wrote them in different colours and put small tips on the side and was like “tell me if anything doesn’t make sense”

she helped one of my friends through a breakup, helped another study for a test they were failing, she even gave her umbrella to someone last week when it rained and walked home soaked and didn’t even mention it again

everyone loves her and i get it. i really do. i love her too in the weirdest way like i want to be mad but she’s just so genuinely kind and i feel horrible for feeling this way but i do. i feel like im being erased. like everything i used to be good at is hers now. people used to come to me. now they don’t even look twice.

i was top of the class. she is now.

i used to be the one who helped. she is now.

and maybe it’s not her fault. maybe it’s mine. maybe i got too comfortable or too tired or too slow or idk. i just feel like i’m disappearing a bit more every day and nobody notices. not even me. until now.

but i swear to god im not gonna keep sitting here crying about it and pretending im fine. i’m done being quiet. done being small. i don’t hate her. but im not gonna let her take everything from me just bc i was too afraid to speak up

im coming back. slowly or loudly idk yet. but i am.

that’s it. idk why i wrote this here. just needed to say it somewhere.

I just feel like such a horrible person, I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant, already having some contractions during the day and all. But even with all, I can’t feel much of a connection to my baby, I just feel huge and sick and tired.

I got pregnant due to a one night stand (which was my first and last), I’m still too young and in school, but even with it, I feel so guilty and like such a bad mom for not feeling much for this baby

No worries stalking me as long as you have a male phalange

my boyfriend asked to give us some time and space, that he’s really stressed right now. I don’t know if that’s just gonna lead to a breakup or what that means for our relationship. He said a week but I’m still feeling anxious about it.