Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 32

Every single time i go shopping online , i end up buying nothing. Something like paralysis on analysis. When i take help from a family member, he end up buying even more disappointing deal cause he dont have patience . Family members who have patience don't know how to shop online. I am student with hectic study schedule, exams,deadlines . I barely get time to sleep. And being from middle class i dont have luxury to buy what ever i want without looking at price. I have to go through a lot of options for best price before actually buying . Its frustrating.

We dated for so long and i loved him so much and he loved me and we were absolutely perfect together he told me he’ll love me forever then decides to break up with me and it hurts so much watching him move on and love someone else and forget about me like what about me what about what we had was i not special to you how could you do this to me i just want you

I'll try to express my feelings as clear as possible (my mind usually goes blank when I go and try to type stuff), and I'm sorry if I might come of as rude or inconsiderate, it really isn't my intention. Trigger warning of dark thoughts mentioned, if that's appropiate.

I'm particularly a young person, at the end of my teenage years, and I feel that life hasn't been going so well. I do well academically, even have that fame of people expecting good stuff about me, yet it has been a long time I have felt any proud for this. Thing is that I am lonely, and have been this way pretty much since the start of my social life. I am not in the position of being bullied, which I am grateful to be. Actually, people are usually nice to me, but that's the limit. Nobody has been interested in becoming friends with me. I was fine with it before, but it has been hurting more and more as time passes. I have tried many times to make social interactions, which is a huge step for me—it takes a lot of courage for me to go out and expose myself, because I tend to be socially anxious. These just end up as simple, friendly conversations, and sometimes even embarrassing. After I try to keep contact with them, they just seem like they aren't that interested in forming a friendship. I know it IS a process, but it is hard to keep it up if you sense the other person not wanting to get into it.

Life in my school has been very simple, I just try to be a good student and be cool with everyone. However, people only get to acknowledge me when they need something, and sometimes I feel like I'm the last choice for that. Hell, I sometimes even feel like a robot following commands. If I am honest, all my school life just feels like a cycle. I wake up, prepare and go to school, receive classes (that's just it), and head back home to sleep and start a new loop. This cycle has gotten me tired lately, and it is hard to try to break it, since I can't make it any more interesting. Unlike other schools, mine doesn't have any clubs, and I can't really talk to any of my classmates, because they have grown up with this picture of me being quiet and unapproachable, and it hurts to be seen that way.

My life at home isn't that good also. I try to finish my homework rapidly, and then try to see what to do with my free time. Most of my free time has been spent learning about math and coding, which I love, so they have been my main time wasters. There's not much I do after that. I have online friends, but I feel severely disconnected from them. About my family, I love them, but I don't think I can talk to them about this, and I have reasons for that. My father is my closest familiar, but he doesn't like me expressing vulnerability, and let's not even mention my mother. She says she loves me, but I have felt that she just gives me what I need to live, and doesn't teach me about how to do stuff myself, like cooking or washing properly. She is a real angry person when (easily) provoked, and uses everything given to her against others, honestly I have felt like a burden to her.

Sometimes the whole idea of feeling lonely brings me to dark places. I start to question if people would miss me if I was gone. I have no intentions to do anything against myself, but I sometimes do wonder. I feel like a ghost in this world. No matter how hard I try to form bonds, these break apart. There aren't many options for me, either. My parents restrict me doing a lot of stuff that is usually advised in these cases. Sometimes it feels that I have no one in this world, that I am unlovable. I have to keep all my hardships within myself because I don't have anyone. And about the idea that forming connections as an adult is harder, brings less hope for me. It is all just so confusing, and so hurtful. You feel that you cannot connect with anyone, and don't know why. I sometimes wonder if I wasn't supposed to be in this world, that I don't fit here. It feels that you are the odd one out, in an ocean of perfectly aligned pieces of a whole jigsaw puzzle. I just stand here and wish I was "normal."

I sincerely don't know, I feel like it would be nice to have someone who can do stuff and talk with me from time to time, and not by obligation. I just hope someday I get to meet someone, and for it to actually work, for a first time in years. Hopefully my life in college will be better if I place effort on it. It would be nice to hear if someone here can relate to these feelings, and if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears. Even though I am an introvert, being alone all of my time sometimes gets to me. Any advice to my situation is welcomed. I hope you have a nice Christmas Eve, I'll try to have one.

I have been struggling with negative thoughts for a couple of years now due to school trauma and bullying. In 12th grade, I had to stop attending school because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, it has been difficult for me to keep up with people. My mom doesn’t know how to help me. I was forced to transfer schools and pay for the whole semester, even though I only sometimes attended school for one or two days. My mom thinks I'm not trying, but I badly want to graduate, and it hurts when they call me lazy and say I don’t have the will to get better.

I used to be an honor student, but because of the harmful effects of what others did to me, I no longer recognize myself. I have engaged in self-harm in various ways and had to live alone. My mom thought that by sending me to a city alone, I would feel better, but it only made things worse.

I met my boyfriend, who helped me cope and inspired me to try again. I enrolled in pharmacy for two months and fell in love with it. My classmates were very kind to me, but I realized my struggle was mostly internal. I couldn’t control the thoughts of others or stop wondering if they hated my existence. I would suddenly leave the laboratory and cry at home, feeling weak. Now, I’m forced to study accounting online, which I also struggle with because I was a STEM student and find business courses difficult.

Nevertheless, I want to study pharmacy again if only I were given another chance. That field makes me feel truly fulfilled, and I believe I can thrive in it if given the opportunity.

Regarding therapy, I recently received my psychological evaluation results, and they disappointed me a little. The results were very clear, and I paid a lot for them. Now, I was told I can book a session only once or twice a month. From this schedule, I’m unsure if I can truly get better. Is this how it works?

As of now, I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity. I feel not good enough, and I'm dying everyday as I’m turning 20 soon.

I'm 20 ( F ) and for the last 19 months I have been applying to different universities abroad. Everything was planned and set but due to some banking issues I couldn't go. I had to send my withdrawal letter tonight and I can't stop crying and feeling worthless because my sister graduated from a top 5 uni whereas I don't even know where I am. Worst thing is that before getting into the uni that I am currently in, my dad was like I don't even count this as a university, my professors here are also like there is no hope for this study field in this country , everyone keeps saying that there is no opportunity for me here ( my major is Microbiology ). But I don't know what to do, what can I do, I gave my all these last 19 months and everything just fell down. I feel so demotivated and I hate myself. My family members doesn't even want to talk about this anymore because they are " tired, bored and overwhelmed " of this topic. Sometimes I feel like I should be grateful that at least I am getting the opportunity to study but then I look at my school peers and feel so so jealous. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm a teenager. When It was quarantine, I've slowly gotten depression, anxiety, and all that stuff. One day, my mother didn't come home that night with my father since they both work 8 to 5. I was worried and asked where she was. My dad said she was staying somewhere else for the night, but my worries didn't die down. I later texted my mother asking where she was and she said that she was in the sidewalk and that she was going to sleep there. I was shocked and continued to text her until 12 AM. She told me to go to sleep, so I deleted out convo with her and cried to sleep. Later on that following week, I found out she was staying over her friend's house and slept over there, because she and my father got into an argument. Fast forward a couple weeks, our pitbull named Luna got out of her cage and got loose all over the outside of our house. We had gates so she couldn't leave easily. As my parents got home from work, we found out that she chewed on my mother's slippers that were outside. My father was irritated and when I was in my room, possibly playing my games or watching tiktok, I hear the throws of slippers my dad threw to Luna. Abusing her, I heard her pained howls but i turned a blind eye. I didnt wanna end up like her. That night, I also cried to sleep. One day, my mom was suspecting she had cancer. So she went on a checkup with my father. After a couple days, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was laying in my bed when my father came up to my bed and told me 'youre always on your phone. Decrease your screen time and at least care for your mother. Your mother had cancer now and she needs all the love and care." I interpreted this on how I understood what he said. When I heard that, I was horrible. I was helpless. I wanted to help my mother but didn't know how. Right when my father left the room, I burst into tears. Slowly breaking down. (My mom is fine and healthy now. She got her chemotherapy treatment done already, and does regular check ups.). In quarantine, I'm sure it was normal that some people like me got fat and all that. I was insecure of my fat body back then, and wanted to get skinny. But then one day, my father told me something before me and my mom we're about to go out. "You look pregnant" he says with a grin. If that were a joke, why didn't I laugh? After that day, I started to starve myself and started only eating 1 meal a day. It was a couple months, after my mom found out since I was throwing up due to not eating properly. I'm well off now, at least better than before. Back to quarantine, I had this trio I was part of since elementary. But when it was quarantine, things started to change. One day we started to fight all afternoon, and let's call one of them Anna, and the other Rachel. Rachel avoided the arguments, usually the peace maker or just agreeing to some statements one did to another. Anna and I were the ones fighting. She was always with her other friends, and I was thinking that she was replacing me and rachel with her new trio. Every argument was over text because it was quarantine of course, but I mostly ended with sobbing to my plushies on my bed in the afternoon. Time passes, it's 2022. We went back to school with just me and rachel as friends. We broke ties with Anna after finding out the toxic friendship. In the first year of my freshman year of highschool, I was doing well. Enjoying being with the new classmates. I loved how joyful they were. Until one day, in second quarter. Our car's battery broke and my father was irritated and frustrated with all the money he had to spend. (We're well off also.) He was angry as well that we didn't seem to care and only cared about our own efficiency on the car. We didn't. My mother, the wife she is. She tries to help. Offering to contact the car brand company so they'll fix it. My father then broke out and said "if you thought of it, you pay for it! It's easy." I can hear the anger even if it was in text. I was in school while that happened. I was reading the texts in out family gc, holding back my tears. Afraid anyone will see. After my father sent a few more messages, my mother then broke as well. "Fix yourself, (father's name.)! We aren't the cause that car broke down, so don't blame us!' I can feel her frustration through the phone. After my father sent a few more text messages, my mother left. I thought they were going to go through a divorce. After two hours or so, my mom was added back by my big sister. My parents then deleted their messages, and my father texted me, "sorry about earlier, okay?" I ignored his message. After all this, I now have eczema, because of genes and possibly stress. I am now acidic, I cannot eat too much food that contains acids. Such as apples. I have mental problems, and I can barely understand myself. (I have not seeked a therapist for all this, as I have been hiding this from everyone. I am a minor and most probably need an adult to consult to a therapist.)

Me and my best friend have always been really close, and recently, we both realised we had feelings for each other. It was a really good feeling and we were both really happy, but ever since then I feel like they’ve been avoiding me to talk to other friends instead. I understand this is a big thing and it’s gonna take time to get used to this new dynamic and all, but it feels like they’ve been avoiding me, or at least trying to talk to other people instead of me for the past week or so and it just hurts because I want to talk and be with them but I can’t just make them talk to me, or tell me what’s going on.

OK. So... Apparently I am going to my old neighbors New Years Eve party. We moved into a new house a year ago but our dad's are still friends so we have to hang out sometimes and we go to the same school. We've gone skiing together a couple times but I always get shy and weird around him. We haven't talked or really seen each other in months except for awkward, accidental eye contact every now and then at school. He's a grade above me so thankfully we don't see each other much but... I guess we're going to on New Year's. Not only that, my other past neighbors, one in particular that I was good friends with, are also going to be there. Well, I don't know for sure but there's a 99% chance so... The problem is that she also goes to my school, a grade above me, and I don't really know what happened but we both got awkward and stop talking and even saying hi to each other so we kind of pretend we just don't notice each other. I'm starting to wonder if she even remembers me or my name... But I really do miss her, I just feel like we've been ignoring each other for so long that it'll be weird if I say hi now. So there's another reason I'm debating faking sick to get out of this party. Now back to the other kid, let's call him, uhhh O. Sure, so O is... Well I don't even know why I find him mildly attractive.. *cough cough* BUT UHHH. It's okkk hehe.. So that probably adds to the "nervous around him" thing for sure. But, my fingers are tired so I'm just saying, I swear to God I'm going to embarrass myself and I know this is kind of the wrong website for this but IDC. Ok? IM DESPERATE. I needed somewhere to put my- feelings, and google gave me a warning. So to sum it up, I'm literally going to cry because we'll, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDHDNNSMSJDBHDNSNSNNSNSNSN!!! Ok well, save me. I'm dieing. OMG. 😭😅💀😟 Advice?

hey, i’m not sure where to start this. me and my ex were together for a year and we broke up a year ago because he was really avoidant and manipulative. i got with a new guy pretty quickly after because he treated me so well i felt like he was saving me from the past relationship because it was so terrible. anyways fast forward to now, im still with my current bf and im happy with him but every now and then i do think about my ex but i dont have feelings for him. I just found out he has a new girlfriend and idk how to feel. it’s been a year since we broke up yet i feel a tiny bit jealous. feeling jealous about it makes me feel so guilty since i have a bf. i’m just not sure if it’s normal to be a little jealous even though you’re in a happy relationship. maybe i never got closure in that relationship? i’m not sure. i did end things suddenly and completely stopped talking to him because i was just fed up with the way he treated me. when we broke up i wished him the best and left. an hour later he sent me a long paragraph about how everything was my fault and how he thought i was cheating on him?? i didn’t respond to that because it was just so disrespectful compared to what i said to him. anyways i literally just found out about his new gf and i hope i get over this little jealousy, but if i dont does that mean i still have feelings for him? or need closure? if i needed closure and had to contact him to talk about it i would feel very guilty again bc of my bf. anyways i would appreciate any advice thank u!

So I feel like I know nothing .I literally know nothing .I am an 21 yr old female and I have no idea of how to do make how to style myself .i have no strong opinions on anything .I can't dance or sinhy.average at studiess literally zero social awareness .no knowledge on anything

I'm a Respawner, and I've been planning on leaving this world via respawning and then leaving a stand-in behind. It sounds like a pretty cool and nice idea, but the thing is, the decision is quite permanent and could be risky if not handled carefully (imo). Respawning in general is pretty safe though, and Id be more than happy to respawn to my desired reality. But the struggles in my current reality are really holding me back and I barely have any motivation to respawn or shift realities. I barely feel any love for my desired reality and it's people and I'm wondering why I should continue.

1. I've been trying to shift for a year and a half. I've been trying to respawn for 2 months. I've spent and dedicated a lot of time to this lovely life-altering passion and hobby, and I'd be sad to leave it behind after all the efforts I've made.

2. I'm emotionally attached to my desired reality, to shifting and respawning and to all the people I've made connections with via channeling.

3. This life is shit and I honestly need better. Why not when I literally have the ability to make my life better.

I'm just unmotivated and angry and I feel like not fulfilling my dreams out of pure spite for the universe. But I've tried so hard and fought so much and loved a lot so I'm staying and I'm respawning this December. My plan is to shift to a waiting room and then respawn to my desired reality. I'm taking a calm, directed response to this and I'm trying to manage this at once. I hope my time comes on time and I get to be happy at home. See ya never!!!

Ever since I can remember, I have trouble catching people’s attention when I speak and when they do hear me, they look at me weirdly like they don’t know how to reply to me. This led me not to talk for almost my whole life because it feels embarrassing, which made my voice softer and cringey to hear. I really regretted it now that I’m working in a 9 to 5 job because my work requires me to speak and my co-workers would make fun of my voice. One even said they want to fight me to see the different version of my voice and would comment they hate it every time I talk.

It made me not to open my mouth ever again. I feel like a weirdo in display. But I also need to work because I’m not a kid anymore who can hide from her mother’s skirt.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I can’t help it.

I can feel my bestie pulling away from me. he's been cold and unresponsive to alot of things and he left on read in a recent text I sent him about wanting to talk to him and sort things out

I just feel so burnt out. I'm on winter break but doesn't feel like a break because my mind can't seem to stop. there is constantly something going on and I'm just so tired of this

my friend and I got really close during the summer, but this semester we made some new friends who always joke about us "getting together" I can laugh the topic off but my friend seemed to take it too personally and that's what he started to pull away for real

we recently made a club in college and that brought a new side to our relationship because we had to be professional at times and I feel like he couldn't handle the balance and sort of cracked under that

it's just that he is an important figure in my life. he helped me grow into a more confident version of myself. he helped me speak up to people and to battle demons I never knew I had.

it hurts to know that, at the end of the day, I won't mean to him as much as he means to me

and I can't help but wonder what if the problem really is the relationship thing? what if we do get together and suddenly all this tension goes away?

Normally I don’t like venting or asking for advice like this because I’m kinda paranoid but this is something that I think about too much and I need a new perspective. I have a friend we’ll call A that I’ve known for a few years and that I’m extremely close to. When I say close, I don’t think you understand how close I mean. We flirt and cuddle and hold hands constantly, and we’re practically glued to each other whenever we’re together. We’re so close that we’re constantly confused for an actual couple by strangers, friends, and even family members. It’s probably important to note that we’re both girls; I’m gay and have known that since middle school while she’s bi-curious, I believe. She’s talked about being attracted to other girls, but never really acted on it. The main issue is that one day while we were hanging out together, she kissed me. It wasn’t on the lips or very serious at all, it was almost a sort of “testing the waters” thing. It was a kiss on the hand. We’d been joking around about dating: I teased her about how many girls I’d gotten recently (a complete lie btw lol), and told her that she’d need to do something to impress me to keep me around. In response, she did that…I was definitely surprised, but at that point I wouldn’t have thought much of it if it ended there. However she started to do more things like that weeks after, from kissing my hand more frequently to kissing my cheek and my head to my neck while we’re cuddling?? She even kissed me on the lips once and just laughed it off afterwards. I’ll admit that I definitely caught feelings after that because DUH, who wouldn’t? My problem and the main issue that I need advice on is what it all means. Her love language is physical touch and she’s always been really affectionate with friends, but I feel like it’s different between us. There’s no way she actually thinks that we can act the way we act with each other platonically, right? So does that mean she likes me back? I also have the issue of her not being completely gay. Maybe she’s using me to experiment? I don’t know. I just don’t want to be treated like a girlfriend by someone I’m not actually official with. Does she like me? Is she using me? Am I reading way too far into it? I don’t know, I just really needed to tell someone about it.

This is really dumb. I played a game before covid and throughout it and it helped me a lot. I’m on ft rn with my boyfriend (who is very supportive and sweet) but is playing a new game which is just like the old one (you probably can guess) and I mentioned it and he basically said it sucked. I said it was a game I loved and he just kinda tore it down which was new. Idk maybe I’m just reading in to much and I’ve been very emotional due to birth control lmao