Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 29

hey, i’m not sure where to start this. me and my ex were together for a year and we broke up a year ago because he was really avoidant and manipulative. i got with a new guy pretty quickly after because he treated me so well i felt like he was saving me from the past relationship because it was so terrible. anyways fast forward to now, im still with my current bf and im happy with him but every now and then i do think about my ex but i dont have feelings for him. I just found out he has a new girlfriend and idk how to feel. it’s been a year since we broke up yet i feel a tiny bit jealous. feeling jealous about it makes me feel so guilty since i have a bf. i’m just not sure if it’s normal to be a little jealous even though you’re in a happy relationship. maybe i never got closure in that relationship? i’m not sure. i did end things suddenly and completely stopped talking to him because i was just fed up with the way he treated me. when we broke up i wished him the best and left. an hour later he sent me a long paragraph about how everything was my fault and how he thought i was cheating on him?? i didn’t respond to that because it was just so disrespectful compared to what i said to him. anyways i literally just found out about his new gf and i hope i get over this little jealousy, but if i dont does that mean i still have feelings for him? or need closure? if i needed closure and had to contact him to talk about it i would feel very guilty again bc of my bf. anyways i would appreciate any advice thank u!

So I feel like I know nothing .I literally know nothing .I am an 21 yr old female and I have no idea of how to do make how to style myself .i have no strong opinions on anything .I can't dance or sinhy.average at studiess literally zero social awareness .no knowledge on anything

I'm a Respawner, and I've been planning on leaving this world via respawning and then leaving a stand-in behind. It sounds like a pretty cool and nice idea, but the thing is, the decision is quite permanent and could be risky if not handled carefully (imo). Respawning in general is pretty safe though, and Id be more than happy to respawn to my desired reality. But the struggles in my current reality are really holding me back and I barely have any motivation to respawn or shift realities. I barely feel any love for my desired reality and it's people and I'm wondering why I should continue.

1. I've been trying to shift for a year and a half. I've been trying to respawn for 2 months. I've spent and dedicated a lot of time to this lovely life-altering passion and hobby, and I'd be sad to leave it behind after all the efforts I've made.

2. I'm emotionally attached to my desired reality, to shifting and respawning and to all the people I've made connections with via channeling.

3. This life is shit and I honestly need better. Why not when I literally have the ability to make my life better.

I'm just unmotivated and angry and I feel like not fulfilling my dreams out of pure spite for the universe. But I've tried so hard and fought so much and loved a lot so I'm staying and I'm respawning this December. My plan is to shift to a waiting room and then respawn to my desired reality. I'm taking a calm, directed response to this and I'm trying to manage this at once. I hope my time comes on time and I get to be happy at home. See ya never!!!

Ever since I can remember, I have trouble catching people’s attention when I speak and when they do hear me, they look at me weirdly like they don’t know how to reply to me. This led me not to talk for almost my whole life because it feels embarrassing, which made my voice softer and cringey to hear. I really regretted it now that I’m working in a 9 to 5 job because my work requires me to speak and my co-workers would make fun of my voice. One even said they want to fight me to see the different version of my voice and would comment they hate it every time I talk.

It made me not to open my mouth ever again. I feel like a weirdo in display. But I also need to work because I’m not a kid anymore who can hide from her mother’s skirt.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I can’t help it.

I can feel my bestie pulling away from me. he's been cold and unresponsive to alot of things and he left on read in a recent text I sent him about wanting to talk to him and sort things out

I just feel so burnt out. I'm on winter break but doesn't feel like a break because my mind can't seem to stop. there is constantly something going on and I'm just so tired of this

my friend and I got really close during the summer, but this semester we made some new friends who always joke about us "getting together" I can laugh the topic off but my friend seemed to take it too personally and that's what he started to pull away for real

we recently made a club in college and that brought a new side to our relationship because we had to be professional at times and I feel like he couldn't handle the balance and sort of cracked under that

it's just that he is an important figure in my life. he helped me grow into a more confident version of myself. he helped me speak up to people and to battle demons I never knew I had.

it hurts to know that, at the end of the day, I won't mean to him as much as he means to me

and I can't help but wonder what if the problem really is the relationship thing? what if we do get together and suddenly all this tension goes away?

Normally I don’t like venting or asking for advice like this because I’m kinda paranoid but this is something that I think about too much and I need a new perspective. I have a friend we’ll call A that I’ve known for a few years and that I’m extremely close to. When I say close, I don’t think you understand how close I mean. We flirt and cuddle and hold hands constantly, and we’re practically glued to each other whenever we’re together. We’re so close that we’re constantly confused for an actual couple by strangers, friends, and even family members. It’s probably important to note that we’re both girls; I’m gay and have known that since middle school while she’s bi-curious, I believe. She’s talked about being attracted to other girls, but never really acted on it. The main issue is that one day while we were hanging out together, she kissed me. It wasn’t on the lips or very serious at all, it was almost a sort of “testing the waters” thing. It was a kiss on the hand. We’d been joking around about dating: I teased her about how many girls I’d gotten recently (a complete lie btw lol), and told her that she’d need to do something to impress me to keep me around. In response, she did that…I was definitely surprised, but at that point I wouldn’t have thought much of it if it ended there. However she started to do more things like that weeks after, from kissing my hand more frequently to kissing my cheek and my head to my neck while we’re cuddling?? She even kissed me on the lips once and just laughed it off afterwards. I’ll admit that I definitely caught feelings after that because DUH, who wouldn’t? My problem and the main issue that I need advice on is what it all means. Her love language is physical touch and she’s always been really affectionate with friends, but I feel like it’s different between us. There’s no way she actually thinks that we can act the way we act with each other platonically, right? So does that mean she likes me back? I also have the issue of her not being completely gay. Maybe she’s using me to experiment? I don’t know. I just don’t want to be treated like a girlfriend by someone I’m not actually official with. Does she like me? Is she using me? Am I reading way too far into it? I don’t know, I just really needed to tell someone about it.

This is really dumb. I played a game before covid and throughout it and it helped me a lot. I’m on ft rn with my boyfriend (who is very supportive and sweet) but is playing a new game which is just like the old one (you probably can guess) and I mentioned it and he basically said it sucked. I said it was a game I loved and he just kinda tore it down which was new. Idk maybe I’m just reading in to much and I’ve been very emotional due to birth control lmao

I feel so selfish whenever I do feel and have thoughts like these, however, I just feel like no one truly understands me. Maybe it's because I've never felt comfortable enough to really be myself, but sometimes I just feel like I'm the odd one out. I've never had those types of friendships where we would call or hang out outside of school. Maybe it's self-centeredness, but I always feel like a second friend or just a back-up. Never as the priority. Yes, I do have friends, but I just don't think our conversations flow smoothly how others do. Or it might just be that we don't have the same interests. I envy friendships where it's easygoing and they can go back-and-forth. Or just understanding each other. I always smile and try to keep the mood light during the school day, but deep down, I feel empty, like what's my purpose in life? Do I even exist in other people's worlds? Do people like me? Or think of me? I get these feelings of a heart dropping or panging occasionally, and I don't know where it comes from, maybe just a sudden wave of sadness. Sometimes I want to hit myself for having these thoughts because I should be grateful for my current friends and family, but I really don't know. I would consider myself happy, but maybe there's a lack of fulfillment somewhere in my life? This rant is probably meaningless, but I just wanted somewhere to vent. Thanks.

I don't really know how to start this, but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere and someway, because it's been years that my poor mom has had to deal with this.

I'm currently a 29(F) who often is my mom's safe person to talk to if she needs to vent about things. I've always done this throughout the years because its felt like the one thing I could do for her with her situation. (That and offer her nights out if she just needs an evening away, things like that.)

Long story short, my dad is very narcissistic and goes above and beyond to paint this perfect picture of himself to people outside of immediate family (aka us). His side of the family can do no wrong, and at some point he decided it'd be a great idea to hire my aunt, his sister, into the family business "to help her out" and have someone "to run things" even though that role was my mom's.

She's taken full advantage of it of course. Basically taking it over as his manager, and over the years she's taken over small jobs within the business that my younger siblings used to do just to help them earn a money as they go.

She treats my mom the worst though. My dad has already been controlling when it comes to finances and has always had an "allowance" type of approach when giving my mom money and hovering over her every purchase, even though the majority of the time it's necessary purchases for her family like groceries. And things have just gotten worse with my aunt butting in because now she does payroll and signs checks. Her name is on stuff that my mom should have access to regardless because of marriage, and sometimes my dad will intentionally tell my aunt not to sign things to delay paying my mom.

All of that above I know is probably illegal one way or another. She knows this, its come up in conversation. I've told her to remember that it's always something to keep it mind if it gets too much, but I think she's just worried about my younger siblings and how it'd affect then. She has her own job thankfully so she has some relief from that, but she shouldn't be stressing as much as she is each day and feeling like she's always an afterthought.

It just made me sad and upset for her. I know by the end of the day that it's not all on me, but I still feel like her emotions are my business since I care about her. There's been times lately that I just want to confront both my dad and aunt after hearing her stories but I don't want to make the situation worse for her.

Sorry for the long rant, I know it's a bit all over the place, I just needed to get that out. There's more to the story and more details as this is actively going on even current day, but I think that's a good stopping point. Thank you if you've read this far.

I'm 19(F) and I fucking hate myself lmao. I know I'm fat and ugly but I really thought that there would at least be one person that would like me despite that, but apparently not.

It's been about a year now since my childhood friend confessed to me. He said he liked me and shit, but he never did make the effort to meet me outside. We talked for a few months but I got busy with school (we had to make a research paper) and next thing I knew, he found himself a girlfriend. An online girlfriend. He confessed first yet he was also the first one to leave. Apparently said girl confessed to him on New year's eve last year and he didn't even bother telling me about her. He told her he liked me and stuff so he rejected her, but the moment I couldn't give him attention he up and left me for someone he hasn't even met irl. We grew up together since kindergarten; we've been classmates the entire time up until 11th grade. And he broke it all off so easily. He even added the girl to our private group chat with our friends which I MADE. I guess the short haired childhood friend really can't win, huh?

Well anyways, aside from that, I found out just a few days before he confessed to me, he was making moves on my other friend. Which is so fucking shitty of him?? I mean, he confessed to me right in front of her too so that was weird as fuck? I didn't know this at the time though, my friend was kind of confused too but she didn't bother telling me up until recently. So this basically just meant he chose who was easiest to get with between the both of us :/ I can't believe I was fooled, I thought that just because we grew up together, that he could do no wrong. He was always a kind person in my eyes. And he always acted kind towards me. Especially during the days leading up to his confession, but I guess it was all just love bombing.

This was my first time ever being confessed to irl. This was my first relationship. I thought I could trust him. I thought I knew him. I can't believe I'm still hung over his ass. My experience with him makes me feel so shitty, I feel so used. I feel like the only way someone would choose me would be for me to be the last option. I fucking hate that.

I want to be loved. I want to be lusted over. I want to get attention from others, be it from males, females, or gender queers. I wish someone would love me to the point of sexualizing me, or sexualize me to the point of loving me. I hate this so much. I don't know why I correlate sexual appeal and attractiveness to my own self worth. I tell other women not to let that weigh them down but here we are. I'm so sick of myself. Even when I try to lose weight it all just comes back.

Id like to start with saying im 17 and female. I met my best friend in freshman year of high school, she was awesome, and throughout the years became even more awesome. Shes truly the most beautiful, kind and supportive human alive. Except we have had a very rocky friendship, since the begining I knew this was going to be a tough friendship. We bonded so fast and became close within months of knowing eachother, but this had caused me to grow extremely attached to her. I remember I used to cry myself to sleep if she responded to a text a little late, or if I found out she was hanging out with other people, it would break my heart. Needless to say, I had a very unhealthy perception of her, and she recognized that. We would argue constantly about how clingy I was and that I need to chill. It would shatter me everytime we would argue, I genuinely couldn't handle the feeling of her being upset with me, it made me feel so empty and lost. I began self harming and I had these worrying thoughts of ending my life. I didn't want to be alive but I couldn't die because then I wouldn't have her. I remember promising myself if she ever left me I would end my life. I had a constant fear of losing her. I really don't know if I was in love with her or not, I am now, but before I think I was only obsessed but that obsession lead me to fall in love with her. I was so in love. I wanted her so badly I couldn't focus on anything, I was falling apart without her. I remember crying every single night for a whole year straight, cutting and burning myself on the bathroom floor while sobbing and wishing she loved me the way I loved her. I never want to feel that pain again. Our friendship issues began seeping into my homelife, my dad noticed something was wrong with me and at the time I had an online boyfriend who was 19, at the time I was 15 and when my dad found out about my online boyfriend he was furious. He went through my phone and from there found out I had been self harming. He sat me down and told me if I was so depressed then I should light a match and burn myself in front of him. He had also found out I had been stealing marijuana from my mom. My parents are divorced and I would steal my moms drugs when I visited her, it wasn't anything serious, just marijuana and weed pens, I had also stolen a few vapes. That whole situation broke me. I had never wanted to die more than in that moment. I felt so hopeless and like nothing in the whole world could save me. The worst part is my dad took my phone for 9 months. I felt so isolated and had no way of communicating with my best friend except at school and she comforted me and let me feel all my sad feelings even though I was overwhelming her. Things stayed about the same until the end of freshman year, and once sophomore year had started I had begun to finally feel better. I could handle myself better even though I was still a wreck. My best friend continued to stay by my side. I had also began to accept my feelings for her, I loved her. I truly loved her and saw her for the beautiful person she is. But in September, I had accidently confessed to loving her. It absolutely crushed my soul when she didnt feel the same, and it killed me when she said she felt betrayed. I had hurt her and betrayed our friendship and trust. I felt so unworthy and disloyal. I hated myself and all the suicidal thoughts had came back. That day I had seriously contemplated killing myself. I couldn't. We didn't talk for about a month and when we started talking again It was like that never happened, we talked it out and everything was normal again. Things felt great for about two months. Then it was thanksgiving break and even while typing this I cant help but cry. Thanksgiving break I got a text from her. She wanted to tell me something, and she told me she loved me, and that she was so sorry. She told me that even though she loved me, she could never be with me because it was a sin to be homosexual. Instead of feeling sad I was overjoyed because she really had loved me the whole time. We texted nonstop the entire thanksgiving break, playful flirty messages, confessions about our love for one another, and everything we felt. I had told her everything, how much I loved her, I told her everything. She told me she felt the same and told me how much she loved me. Even to this day Ive never ever felt as warm. Nothing can compare to that week. But by the end of the week she had told me that despite everything she said, I cant get my hopes up because she cant be with me. She was so guilty and she felt so bad, she felt like she was leading me on. And I was so blinded by her love for me I didn't even care that she was leading me on, I didn't care one bit, I soaked up every drop of attention she gave me and craved more. She continued to give me attention and love on me for about three weeks after that. After school we would cuddle and we would sit outside and watch the sky. I went over to her house and we cuddled, I remember holding her hand and feeling her warm body so close to me, I'll never feel anything that safe and comforting again. But we knew it was doomed from the start. She told me we needed to stop, it was hurting us both. She was leading me on, and it put a huge strain on her relationship with God. It broke me, yet I was still so hopeful, I didn't listen to her, looking back I realize how selfish I was. Eventually after days of nonstop tears I had to come to terms with our reality. We couldnt be together. Its been exactly a year, our friendship is closer than ever and I have grown enormously, but I know deep inside I still love her, I love her with all my heart and no matter what happens I feel like I could never ever stop loving her. Since the moment I realized I loved her to this very day, my love for her has only grown. I don't know how to move on, I don't know if I could ever love someone as much and that scares me. I'll never meet someone who truly means EVERYTHING to me. If she died right now, I know Id be next because she is my reason for living. I don't know what to do anymore, and we talk about our love for eachother on occasion. I know she still loves me, but we can never ever encourage it because of her religious beliefs, and I would never do anything to hurt her relationship with God because I know how important that is to her. In a perfect world I know we would be together. I just wish love was easy. She is the most precious thing to me, I hold her closest to my heart always.

she was more still is everything. we never did date but our friendship so close like we almost should or at least it was I was too scared I didn't tell anyone or her how I felt kept it to myself. My friend respect to go about it but I just told them I didn't. but I was the worst mistake I could have done. that could have been my chance to finally get her. My chance to live a life with her. she was perfect she's she's not like other girls she was different she got me and I got her her beautiful brown eyes, her smile her laugh her humor. everything was perfect about her. a few months passed by and she tells me she has a crush. It was one of my friends. probably one of the closest too. track season comes by I see them cuddling and sitting next to each other on the bus while I think that could have been us. and I had to go through that every single ride to a meet. during this time I just wished that I could go back and let her know how I felt and maybe I would have had a chance. may eventually become boyfriend and girlfriend and that's when I decided to try to get over her it was almost hardest thing the summer had passed by and they were still together. and obviously I was happy for her and him but deep down I wanted it to be me and her. again a few months pass by it was now December they had broken up. she told me the reason was that they would talk about their problems but he wouldn't do anything about it. so she gave up on him and broke up with him. present day ever since she broke up with him we've been talking a lot more often now but that was only because he didn't like when she talk to me. now that feeling I had before I was coming back that spark between us.

I should start by saying I have kids. I am extremely grateful for that. Tonight I’m just thinking about all the stuff I’ve sat on for 3+ years from my babies because I pictured myself so actively watching other peoples kids and raising them with my own. But no one asks me to babysit or brings their kids here. Just makes me sad. I have a bottle & sippy, snack cups, a high chair, a play chair, a bouncer, a play pen, a changing mattress, a bassinet, an extra car seat even. Literally “just in case” and there’s never an “in case” from the people in my circle. I’ve always been the “lady that’s good with kids” my entire adult life.. I worked with kids for years before changing careers. People used to ask me to babysit constantly before I had my own. It’s just weird being at this point and always picturing myself being the mom with all the kids at her house but all the kids are just mine. I know it’s probably something stupid to be sad about, but I can’t help it when I see the stuff in the back of the cabinet. I know people probably just assume I don't want more kids here on top of my 3. I have twins in preschool and my oldest is less than 2 years older… but I wish they would just ask anyway.

Earlier this week at school, I had an experience that felt overwhelming, and I’m not sure how to explain it. At first, I thought it was a panic attack because my heart was racing, and I felt so on edge. But it went deeper than that. It felt like everyone was watching me—like every move I made was being scrutinized. Even thoughI looks around and everyone’s mouths were shut, I could hear whispering about how I just just die or how I’m walking weird or that I’m ugly. It felt like I had to control every little movement, or people would know that something was wrong with me.

Then, there was this moment in the hallway when I felt someone grab my shoulders. I turned around, expecting to see my friend, but there was no one there. I looked behind me more than once, but I still felt that pressure, like hands were there even though I couldn’t see them. It wasn’t just physical; it felt like someone was standing behind me, and the sensation wouldn’t go away.

My emotions were completely out of control. I couldn’t focus on anything, and my mind was racing so fast it was hard to process what was happening around me. When people tried to talk to me, it felt impossible to keep up with a conversation. I could only respond with one or two words, and even that felt like a huge effort.

It got so bad I’d look at a wall, and it seemed like it was moving, almost rippling. My brain would pick out random scribbles or patterns and turn them into faces or shapes, like it was trying to make sense of things that weren’t really there. It was beyond terrifying and terrifying, but I didn’t feel like I could explain it to anyone. But it felt like I was losing myself

After school, I went straight to my car, but I couldn’t even drive. I just sat there, completely, talking to myself. I’m not even sure how long I was sitting there—I lost track of time. Eventually, my sister called because she was worried about me not being home. Her call kind of snapped me out of it enough to drive home, but the feeling of being trapped in my own head stayed with me for the rest of the day.

Hi, this is going to be long, just please listen to me. i am a 14 year old girl living in the midwest. and ever since Kindergarden or before, I cant remember, I have had shit experience after shit experience. i started in kindergarten at a catholic private school my brother was going to. since he has ADHD and autistic features, he's almost favored, and of course he's treated like shit by the religious kids. and since I'm related to him, I get bullied too. even by the teachers, I question my faith and why god makes my life so miserable using his other followers? i get pushed down and screamed at by the teacher. i end up becoming violent. i eat other kids skin. its embarrassing. we leave after a year because "there were no accommodations for my brother" but I knew it was because me and him were being bullied. while my parents fight and my mom goes numb, I start first grade at a public school. i change 100% to a new personality, being dumber, kinder, and a bigger crybaby. i get bullied behind my back, and I never tell a soul. at one point a boy follows me around and stares at my crotch and boobs whenever I'm near him, doesn't even try to hide it. and another boy gropes my ass one day and tries to play it off as a joke. were fucking children. and when I get to 4th grade, I meet someone I want to become friends with, he was tall, cool, and quiet, who I wanted to be! then he starts beating me, threatening me, and he had access to guns and my home address. he tries to choke me out, tries to break my bones, says he will break into my home slit my throat and steal my dogs. and the bystander effect kicks in, my best friend, the girl who introduced me to him just watches, not caring. even the teachers don't care. next year covid hits and I'm stuck at home, happy. until my brother complains and whines and we go into school. starting my 6th grade. i go back to being made fun of, and its almost normal. until 7th grade. i reunite with the old best friend and she invites me to sit at her table, lo and behold, there's my abuser. he stops hurting me, but keeps the threats up, shows me a video of a spinning dick and such. i start dating that old best friend (like an idiot) and it turns polyamorous with a girl I didn't like, I didn't like the bestie either. rumors about me spread, I break up with them, my other bestie talks shit about me with 2 girls I looked up to and her BF cheats on her with 9 girls and my male abuser. and I move to another lunch table. its normal, I have comfort, a girl I knew since elementary was there, 2 of them. one is amazing, the other disappears one day. sending everyone at the table other than me and a guy an email saying we told her to kill herself (we didn't) and she never shows up again. nobody believed the rumor, that's when I realized what trust was. i get to high school, which is this year. i join the DND club and the yearbook team, I make new friends. i thought I was doing everything right, so far its only one toxic older friend who calls me slurs and says I'm too annoying but just a freshman, I get sexually harassed again by my brothers best friend and chased down a hallway by him asking me how much I would cost THE DAY BEFORE HOMECOMING. and the morning after HOCO, yes, like a goddamn sandwich of trauma and fun, my parents get a goddamn divorce. which was in October. its Christmas now. I'm in my closet at my dads place, in a fort I built, making my amazon Christmas list like a goddamn child. I'm dating the other girl I knew since elementary at good lunch table now. I'm numb, I have multiple personalities for each person, since I'm in so many fandoms and I cant get any fucking commitment to anyone I just make up my personality. I'm not loud, I'm not quiet, I'm not weird, I'm not normal. I'm here, I used to cut myself too, scratch my skin off and bite myself. sometimes it still feels like he's choking me. (the most help I ever got was the middle school counselor expelling the abuser from the middle school and talking to my friends about the drama. my parents only know about what happened In middle school, everyone I know, even my brother, think I'm an overdramatic bitch who needs to get ADHD meds even though I'm not diagnosed with anything.) so please, if anyone reads this, know if I'm here through all this, you can survive too. I'm out there, find me.