Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 29

I feel pathetic, i feel like I'm going back to that dark and deep black hole where all started, i feel people's judgement and disgusted stares, i feel how my chest hurts so bad, it's like my heart it's being squeezed and it's about to burst but at rhe same time i feel empty, hollow, like something in my chest it's missing, i can't wait all this anymore i just wanna cry myself out until i fall asleep and never wake up....

this is mainly to p but b too, I've been a terrible person recently and there is no excuse for my sh!t (srry for my word choice) if u have read my other stuff yk if not it's ok. I don't know why im destroying everything and breaking my greatest friendships. b im so frickin sorry for putting u through more sh!t and drama for no freaking reason, u didnt deserve it and I'm glad u and p are talking again :P and p.. I'm sorry but we both no sorry never fixes it. I should have been better, I've known u practically my whole life and I threw it all away because I could take the fact that ur human too and that u struggle as much as I do. Its probably weird for me cuz I've only seen u the crazy child id vibe with :D school has been stressing me and life which doesn't make it any better. if you cant/don't want to try and rebuild our destroyed bridges that's okay but if you are willing to I'd try to fix what's lost slowly, just know ur not alone even if you feel u are, I'm always around watching to make sure u are okay, like we use to say "HEYYY POOKIEE" "JUSTICE FOR PLUTO" "hEy...DidD yOOu WaSh YouR aSs ToDayie??!" I love u and I'd walk through hell and back for u and b both..

I hope by now u know who p is and I hope you know who b is cuz ik they are both here on IIWIARS

have a good night my children :) I hope y'all have a good day tomorrow for what u can<3

I need a point of view from a guy, me and my ex were off and on for over a year, we saw other people in between because we broke up, from my view I was there and he never was, I texted him a lot, he told me to get snapchat cause it would be easier, which made no sense lol, I did, I didn't tell him, things were already feeling off again. Very off. We did things together teenage couples do..he ghosted me the first time but then he said it was because he was busy, and I believed that, he has a farm and has to keep his animals alive and a family business or something like that. He said he loved me and that he was sorry and I took him back because I believed it was the right thing to do and I know people make mistake, so I took him back, I was already attached. I told him I was clingy and he knew. He is country and there is a thing about country guys and their grandpas dying, he died, and before he died things were great. when I was sick he would ask if I needed anything, like food, and said he would bring it over, I wouldn't let him do that, we had "I love you" wars. But when his grandpa died he started drinking and not doing great things and started to distance himself from me even more, I felt hurt and I wanted to talk to him about it, I rarely saw him, so I did it over text, of course, it was hours of being on delivered. I told him it didn't feel like he loved me anymore and that I just wanted time with him, he said he was too busy, nothing about not loving me anymore, which I thought I was fishy. I would give random I love yous because if I were him that is what I would do but I am not him and I don't know what I did it, most of the time he would leave it onread or on delivered and at night I would tell him goodnight and just like that, "goodnight." no "Hey baby I am sorry I have been busy all day, I am sorry if you felt like I didn't want you." He never said that I would like his goodnight message and say "So no I love you back? Is something up?" He would say something like, "Didn't see it." "Love u too." It was like he wasn't even trying. I was giving up my parents trust, they said he was bad news, I didn't listen because I was madly in love with him. We fought more than we saw each other, all the time over text. There was one time he said he couldn't do us anymore because he wanted a girl he could actually go out with ( Originally my parents said no because they didn't like him, they warmed up to him and finally told me it was fine) There were so many time I told him this so I brought it up again when we were fighting over text and he said " Oh I didn't know" Maybe it was because every time we hung out he just wanted to get to know my body more and more, he had already seen every part, we had done everything already. S I brought up him only seeming to care about my body and he would always dismiss it and say " I think if this is how it is we should break up or take a break." He never wanted to talk things out. And yet, he said he didn't want my body, but what did he do in person? Me. I let it drag on because I loved thins boy and he made me feel loved and special. What goes on in guys heads? Thinking that everything is fine when it isn't? Dismissing that you only want a body, no feelings attached? He said we werent f around buddies, but to me, it felt that way. We continued to do it over and over, each other and this toxic relationship. We would hang around in his truck and I could tell something was off, one time there was a hair tie that wasn't mine in his truck, I did see him with his mom the night before and they went out in his truck, but my observant self saw that his mom's hair was down, it wasn't pulled back, I was still outside when they came home, her hair was up, but she never got into his truck again. We had been sharing locations with each other and then he turned it off the next day and I knew something was up, I questioned it when I was in that truck with him and all we came to, was nothing, he said "No" when I asked him and started kissing me. I tried to shake it, I knew something wasn't right, he probably doesn't even remember it. I miss him, who he was before his grandpa died, he was my everything and then he became such a ( Insert your word here). It continued to be touch and go, I could tell he knew something was up with me but never even asked. He always expected me t be the one to ask to go out and when I did he said he didn't have time because he was busy or because he didn't want to and then I told him then he better not ever say I didn't try, which he did. I need a aview from a guy on this, we would have such a fun and loving time, then he would ghost after something major, like the deed, happened in our life. He texted me and said I should keep it in the past and that it doesn't matter anymore and that he was happy. I miss him. He got me into trouble at school so know I am suspended and could even get expelled at this point. Did I do something wrong? Why do guys do this? There is so much more I could ask and say but I have been ranting too much and I just need help.

People, family, friends even strangers always tell me to open up to people about my struggles. I used to oblige to it, but i always, ALWAYS feel so guilty after.

How? Well, if i vent to someone that has “worser” experiences than me (literally EVERYONE), I’ll end up feeling guilty. It’s like i’m just adding up to their problems because of them knowing i have such issues.

Im not good at comforting others either, maybe because i got so used to distracting my self or just using other means. Every time someone vents to me, i just use silliness to comfort them. Using jokes, a combination of emojis and just slang words.

It’s kind of pathetic of me to even use an anonymous website to vent all this out, i feel kinda bad for sharing, it feels weird.

Its kind of hard to explain by words, since as i said i gotten so used to just bottling my struggles up to not be a bother. But i tried my best to describe it here.

[IMPORTANT NOTE: I AM TRANSGENDER]

ok so basically, I'm going to high school next year. my 2 closest friends aren't coming with me, and they've really been the only ones defending me when someone was dead naming or misgendering me. and I'm just really scared that next year I wont be Bowie to anyone. I'll never be seen for who I am.

ok so if your that one guy who knows me irl YOU BETTER NOT FREAKING TELL ANYONE IF YOU SEE THIS I WILL SLAP YOU well not really but if tell anyone I swear-

so I like someone (we'll call her Imogen)

my feelings for her have been on/off since like sixth grade but at the beginning of this year, our 8th grade year, they came back and stayed.

for a while I ignored them, because in 7th she got a girlfriend (Jaron) (YES I AM USING NAMES FROM A BOOK SERIES-)

but then my feelings got a bit stronger but I continued to ignore them

but then she and Jaron started dating Amarinda (it's polyamorous) and it stung when I found out and I couldn't explain why.

but now it's gotten so much worse because Imogen and Amarinda look so happy together and it makes my heart ache for two reasons, because I like Imogen and because I'm lonely.

but i know imogen will never feel the same about me and it's tearing me up inside even though I know it's true.

and all this hurts for another reason: because I have a strong suspicion that my best friend, Trea, has a crush on me, and today basically confirmed it even though she hasn't said it.

Honestly though, Imogen probably has already guessed that I like her since I've liked her on/off since I met her, but if she doesn't know then idk what to do.

There's literally nobody I can talk to about this, not Trea definitely, not our other friend Mott, and not my friend (who's on this site) Roden. I can't tell Trea because, well, if she likes me I don't want to hurt her. I can't tell Mott because I can't trust that he won't tell Amarinda or Jaron (idrc if Imogen knows, she has a right to know how I feel). and I can't tell Roden because I just feel like he wouldn't understand.

I really just don't know what to do. Do I tell Imogen how I feel, and just deal with the inevitable disappointment that comes with unrequited love, or do I suffer in silence and just assume she's already guessed it? or could I trust Mott or Roden to let her know how I feel?

And Roden, you're on this site, so if you read this, don't tell ANYONE unless I tell you you can, ok? please.

just wanted to put it out there, we don't realise just how valuable and golden our parents are. as much as they can get annoying at times and god forbid, you wish they weren't there, it's about time we all open our eyes to the fact that they are humans deserving the most love there could ever be in this world.

my parents have gone beyond their abilities to make sure I have what I want, need, and what they wish for me to have. it's so annoying when they sacrifice their desires, their wants and use those means to fulfill what I want or need. the little things that they do, the things that passed my attention like a breeze, I'm starting to notice them more. I'm starting to appreciate them more, cherish all those little things.

I have grown up and somehow got myself to kinda not declare these kinds of deep emotions. I could be crying in my room for how sweet they are, and yet I won't be able to give them a glimpse of my gratitude. and no, this part of me will not change. I have not expressed," I love you" verbally, and that's why I use letters and pourrrr out every emotion, every sorry and thank you, every I love you on things like their birthday cards etc.

my point is. everyday I see them head out to work and stick themselves into the same depressing routine without any complaints, and I think to myself, oh god, please bless my parents. how do they do this every day, hustling their way with optimism as they show me. I want to do something for them too. I feel guilty that I haven't shown them how much I care for them, love them thriught actions or words. I don't help around much in the house ( they also don't allow me to) , I hardly hug them, or tell them I love them and I appreciate them. and honestly that's a family thing-not expressing these stuffs. so can you give me other solutions that don't involve these cliche "oh just start hugging them cuz you'll regret". firstly, I am aware and that's why I want to change smth, but I can't find the words to express what exactly I want.

anyways, treasure your parents and help out here please!

My girlfriend is moving in soon, and I have come to the conclusion I need to end things before that happens. She routinely snaps at me over minor annoyances and I'm expected to apologize afterwards. On the rare occasion I have been snappy towards her, I also end up apologizing. I do not intentionally push and pull b

ok so I think my sleeping problems might be getting worse

I've always, and I mean ALWAYS had trouble falling asleep at night.

But now, that problem has multiplied tenfold, and now I'm finding it hard to stay asleep if I manage to fall asleep, and then once I'm up, I'm up, there's no hope of going back to sleep.

Normally I'd ignore it and think it was normal, because trouble with sleep just is for me.

But it used to be that I'd go to bed at, like, 8:30 PM (EST) and fall asleep at like half past 10 PM (EST), but now it's I go to bed at 8:30, fall asleep at, like 1:00, wake back up at like 2:30 and am awake for the rest of the night.

Literally I can hardly focus as I'm typing this, autocorrect has been my best friend lol

but Im worried how it'll affect me in school, because I've never lost this much sleep over the span of three days.

its also affecting me getting to school in the morning, I've been more at risk of missing the bus lately because I just cant get out of bed. I try with my outfits in the morning, even when I'm tired, but tody I'm so freaking tired my outfit it a hoodie and leggings, and the leggings have a hole in the leg.

and on top of all this, I didn't see my best friend this morning and now i'm worried.

It’s the weirdest thing, waking up from a dream that felt more vivid than real life. Like, for a few seconds, you don’t even know where you are. Your brain’s stuck in that space between dream and reality, and everything around you just feels… off. That happened to me last night, actually. I had this dream that I was back in my old house, the one we lived in when I was little. The walls were the same faded green, the stairs still creaked on the third step, and my childhood dog, Max—who passed away years ago—was there, wagging his tail like he never left. I could smell the popcorn my mom used to make on Sundays, feel the soft carpet under my feet. Everything was so clear. And when I woke up, I felt this ache in my chest. Like I'd just been yanked out of a better version of reality, one where things made sense, where the past still existed in full color.

And it’s not just the places. Sometimes, it’s the people. You see someone you haven’t thought about in years—an old friend, a grandparent who passed, or even someone you’ve never met—and they talk to you like you’ve known each other forever. They touch your hand, look into your eyes, laugh with you. And in that moment, it feels real. Not just visually, but emotionally. It’s like your brain recreates every tiny detail, every feeling, every piece of memory, and weaves it into this beautiful (or sometimes terrifying) story while you're asleep. I’ve had dreams that were better than reality, dreams that gave me closure, and dreams that left me shaken for the rest of the day. How does the mind do that? How does it trick us into feeling something so strong that it lingers hours—even days—after we wake up?

I’ve read somewhere that dreams are just the brain’s way of processing things, like emotions we haven’t dealt with or thoughts we’re trying to push away. That kinda makes sense. I’ve had dreams about people I haven’t talked to in ages, and the next day, I’m thinking about them non-stop. Or I’ll have a super emotional dream, and when I wake up, I’ll actually be mad or sad about what happened, even tho it didn’t actually happen. One time, I dreamt my best friend betrayed me and I couldn’t even look her in the eye the next day. Of course I got over it (lol), but still, for a while I had to remind myself, “Hey, that wasn’t real.” And that’s what’s so crazy about dreams—they can influence your mood, your thoughts, sometimes even your decisions. Like your mind’s still stuck in that made-up world and hasn’t caught up with reality yet.

I guess part of why dreams feel so real is cuz when we’re dreaming, we’re not questioning anything. Our brains just go with it. You could be flying, or talking to a giant talking cat, or seeing someone who passed away, and none of it seems weird in the moment. You’re just there, experiencing it like it’s normal. It’s only when you wake up that you’re like, “Wait, what?” But when you’re in it, it’s your world. Your brain fills in all the blanks—how things smell, how people sound, how you feel—and you believe it. It’s wild how powerful the mind can be. I still don’t fully understand it, and I probably never will. But I do know this—sometimes, those dreams, the ones that feel so painfully real, can remind us of what we miss, what we love, what we’re afraid of, and even who we want to be. And maybe that’s why they stick with us. Maybe that’s why they feel so real. Because somewhere, deep down, a part of us wants them to be.

hi I'm fox(19 female)

so about 1 years ago I joined a youth group for lgbt teenagers, there I got re-acquainted with a friend (firefly 21 male) I met 5-year prior. a couple weeks later he some of his friend(butterfly 21 female) & ( Hound Dog 21 male) joined the youth group . I'd seen both of his friends before but had never really talked to them , anyway we all became a friend group. that summer I got particular close to butterfly and I realise I really liked her and I wasn't sure if she felt the same way until, firefly told me he absolutely believed butterfly had a crush on me as well. so we went on flitting for at least 9 months. one day I was planning to meet up with her and talk her how I feel, so a week before I sent her a message as her if she was free to meet up, she didn't answer me for 2 months , of course after 1 week I asked the others if they had heard anything. Hound dog, said he hadn't heard anything, but firefly said that butterfly was just going through somethings and didn't really want to talk ( of course this hurt me a bit but anyway). over the next 3 months firefly keep reassuring me that it had not to do with me. in the 3rd month firefly eventually, told me and butterfly that we need to talk about because it was "effecting his mental health " ( side note I understand that this was a complete normal response if I had been as him question but he was the one who would ask me if butterfly had text me back. )

so butterfly and do have a conversation about it. from the conversation I understood why she didn't text me back. I had still have feelings for her and firefly knew this. so one day he said I don't think she ready for a relationship. which made sense until, not even a full month later he released he had feelings for butterfly. and they got into a relationship.

so I bit my tongue and pretend it didn't bother me.

now you maybe wondering what did Hound dog think about this hole situation. he completely agree and supported me. (side note: Hound Dog and firefly are no longer friend, has for me and firefly, well that complicated, you see firefly is the type of person who you feel like he'll get himself killed at any moment so I still want to keep an eye on him. ) so now comes the reason why I'm writing this,

2 day ago butterfly opened up to me about how she didn't feel good about the relationship and that she felt really low in energy when she around him.

for any you want to know yes I still have feelings for her but I'm suppressing them

So my question is what do I do?

if you have any questions please ask and I'll try to answer them in an update or in the comments.

I’m not entirely sure what to put to be honest, I’ve tried multiple venting websites and there’s not much to say but here goes nothing.

last night at around half eight pm my cat, Bendy, passed away.

the whole night I stayed up crying to the point where I haven’t got enough sleep, I went to school today and I was so tired I didn’t even know what my own name was.

i haven’t got anyone in my life to speak to about this and I seriously don’t know what to do.

it’s even got to the point where I’ll burst out crying at anything cat related, literally before posting this I was crying looking at old pictures of him.

I don’t expect this to get much attention but meh.

so I'm a young animator in middle school currently trying to balance my new object show, school, and my various disabilities that make it difficult to even live properly. I love my show, it brings me joy, but I'm wondering if I'm fixating too much on it. my grades are fucked, im getting in trouble more, and the hiring process is certainly not helping.

how do I stop my mind from constantly replaying the same incident, situation, experience or thoughts over and over again. it's like never ending. whether its a good thing or bad thing, it doesn't seem to leave my mind, especially not on the same day of occurrence. and it's getting annoying cuz if there was something I found embarrassing, I would think about it, feel all embarrassed and crappy, somehow manage to forget or chuck it to the back of my head, and then boom it hits me back again with goosebumps and depending on the situation, a rapid heartbeat.

when will my mind be settled and at ease/peace?

I mean it's not only negative thoughts as I've said before, it could be something funny or something that I'm proud of too, like ohh I finally spoke up to so and so. it's just that how can I possibly think about the same thing (with all the details and visuals) like 50 times in one day.

I also don't get over things very fast. If I'm annoyed with someone, shocked about something I found out, it's never a one time thing to think about, experience and forget it to never revisit it, or at least to revisit it briefly after some time.

there's more I want to say but I can't remember lol

help!

i don’t even know where to begin honestly. like i get that siblings are supposed to be annoying sometimes, but my sister? she takes it to a whole other level. every single day it’s like she wakes up with one mission: make my life miserable. she’s two years younger than me, but she acts like she owns the house. always barging into my room, touching my stuff without askin, and then playing the victim when i get mad. like no, Mia, you don’t get to wear my hoodie, spill soda on it, and then cry when i yell about it. she drives me crazy and somehow she’s always the one who gets away with it too. mom and dad are just like “she’s younger, be patient.” bro, i have been patient and i’m done now.

and it’s not just the little stuff either. she has this way of making everything a competition. like if i get a good grade, she suddenly needs to remind everyone that she got an A on her science project. if i make a joke at dinner and people laugh, she has to jump in and make one louder. it’s like she can’t stand me getting even five seconds of attention. nd when we fight (which is every day), she somehow twists it around to make it look like it’s my fault. i’ll be calmly explaining why she needs to stay out of my room and she’ll start yelling or crying and boom—i’m the “bad guy” again. i swear she has a talent for pushing every button i have.

i try to ignore her sometimes, like just put in my headphones and chill in my room. but even then she’ll find a way to be loud, play music from her phone in the hallway, or “accidentally” knock on my door five times for no reason. like girl, what do you even want?? she asks me dumb questions she could’ve just googled, or she’ll randomly start asking me who i’m texting just to annoy me. sometimes she literally sits outside my door and sings horrible on purpose. and then she laughs when i open the door mad. she lives for that reaction. it’s like she feeds off my frustration and it’s driving me up the wall.

but then, and this is the worst part, there are moments where she’s actually nice. like randomly she’ll bring me a snack or say something funny that actually makes me laugh. and for two seconds i’m like “ok maybe she’s not the worst.” but then she goes right back to being a menace. i don’t get how one person can flip personalities that fast. i try to be a good brother (sometimes), like i help her with homework when she asks and i walk her home from school when she misses the bus. but it’s like none of that matters because as soon as she’s bored again, i’m back to being her favorite target.

and you know what makes it even harder? my parents. they always say “you’re the older one, set the example.” like okay but why do i have to be the mature one all the time?? why can’t she be held accountable too? just because she’s younger doesn’t mean she gets a free pass to be annoying 24/7. sometimes i feel like they don’t even listen to my side of the story. they just assume i’m the one overreacting. nd i get it, she’s their baby or whatever, but it’s still not fair. she knows she can get away with anything if she cries or acts innocent, and she uses that. trust me.

i guess at the end of the day, i still care about her. like if someone messed with her at school, i’d probably defend her without even thinking. but when we’re at home? she’s my number one headache. maybe when we’re older we’ll get along better, but right now? she’s annoying, loud, nosy, and always in my business. and if she reads this—Mia, stop taking my hoodies and get out of my room. please. thanks.