Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 29

I need help easing this anxiety real quick; im 17. I lost my virginity recently, we used protection and the guy didn’t eject. A condom or two broke, but we immediately put a new one on. However; my period is delayed two weeks. I’ve had a regular cycle for years. I can’t talk to my parents about this, especially my mom. They’re extremely strict with dating. I can’t tell my boyfriend about this, because im unsure.

There’s not a chance, right? 😭

I’ve been stressed for a long time now, so I know that can affect that, but it hasn’t before.

I had a huge blackout that lasted almost an hour last month, and now I'm in the hospital, rotting on a bed. Professionals found out that I had an untreated anemia that had lasted for way too long and now it's actively ruining my organs because my body can't stock iron, causing me to be really tired all the time, my skin is really pale, I have difficulty to breath, sleep, eat and walk. My legs are shaking a lot when I'm on my feet and I'm always cold. To top it all, my periods are extremely painful and causes me to lose a lot of blood. Unfortunately, my body reacts really negatively to the various treatments, and now the nurses and doctors are stuck. They stay optimistic with me and my parents, but the look on their face each time they make tests with me, I'm starting to feel that my fate is sealed. I try to change my mind by reading and listening to music, even watching Youtube when I can but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I'm actively dying. I'm really scared, because I don't want to die without even reaching adulthood. I have all of my friends here, my dog, and my little brother. Everyone except my parents and my brother are already acting like I'm gone, even my friends, which doesn't help. The doctors try everything, but nothing seems to work out fine, or atleast it's not enough. I'm starting to lose hope. My mom cries a lot, because she thinks it's her fault, and my dad can't look me in the eye. My little brother is the only positive one, and I don't want to fail him by leaving him behind. Sorry, I sound like a whiny loser because anemia is not cancer or something serious like that, but it truly feels like I'm dying on this bed. I just needed to vent, because I don't want to worry my parents even more, and my little brother is too young to understand.

So, what would people have thought if they had seen this on a reality TV show? (I hope I did this right, I never used a site like this one before.)

My goddamn family keeps on pressuring me to do all the bs they want me to do, instead of trying to let me have a choice. as if im their clone, ffs. i told my dad i didnt want to play basketball anymroe since my og basketball coach stopped teaching, and the first thing he did was say "Because you're lazy". He showed me a chinese coach who could teach me basketball, but they cant speak english. I saw a video on it, and I was confused. Confused as hell, I didnt know a single thing that was going on. I could speak chinese, sure, but I knew no basketball jargon in chinese. and my dad looked at me as if he taught me basketball in chinese. And he said "You do know how to understand. You're just too lazy to accept that. Am I right?" I couldnt even say no to that answer. I still wanted to play basketball. All he said was "Dont bother playing anymore, dont bother trying to ask if you can continue playing."

I just turned 13 and my family and I thought it would be good to host a birthday party for me they invited all my family to come over even friends I went to my room but then my uncle came in. I told him to leave multiple times because I was changing BUT HE WOULDNT WANT TO LEAVE I HATE HOW NO ONE NOTICED HE WAS IN THERE EVEN THOUGH I RAISED MY VOICE he trapped me in my room and he...🍇 me I hate it so much I hate how I let this happen to me I feel fucking disgusting I feel weak I feel horrible after that happen I didn't want to get out of my room I just wanted to hide under the bed like a scary bitch I am...after the birthday party i kept quiet for a couple days i told my dad BUT FCKING GUESS WHAT he didnt listen he just told me i need to be a man AND THAT I WAS LUCKY IT HAPPEND HOW COULD U SAY THAT TO UR SON WHAT THE FUCK I HATE EVERYONE I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE HIM I WANT TO KILL MYSELF NO ONE LISTENS ME

a dude cold opened me a few days ago and asked me out i panicked and gave him my info/said yes (i know! not good for either of us!) and yesterday we went on a date. he was perfectly nice and im sure it "went well," but i truly wasn't feeling it at all. i don't know him, i found out he was 28 (im 19, we're both college students and he saw me on campus so it's not like a creeper thing), im just not that interested in dating... i turned down a second date last night over text and i have yet to look at his texts back. i dont feel bad about turning him down, but i just feel really embarrassed and guilty about the whole situation. it sucks!!!!!

Sometimes I wish I could cry. Sometimes I think that would make me feel better. Sometimes I feel like I numbed my emotions too much to the point where I don’t feel much. I grew up neglected and manipulated and isolated. When I was 11 my parents had gotten divorced and my mom took us away from my dad. She had left because she couldn’t take his shit anymore. I came back after a week because he promised a life of luxury and stuff I’ve always wanted. As a kid I went and stayed but all he did was work. Which as a kid I understood he had to do. But what I didn’t understand was how that messed me up later down the road. Grew up estranged from extended family and barely any friends. I shutdown for three years in middle school and no one knew what was happening at home . I just survived and went to school. High school I was barely coming out of my shell. As an adult I’m slowly getting better but there was a lot I didn’t learn. So much I missed out on. All these expectations from people I look up to. I’m a hyper self aware person. I struggle to retain helpful information. I have to hear something ten thousand times or experience something painful before I understand. I didn’t know until 10 years later that he was a manipulator, liar, cheater, and self centered.

so my mom just got my report card and shes grounded me (I'm writing this on my school computer) wanna know why she grounded me? because I have 3 C's. shes being so irrational and stupid about it, it makes me want to bash her head into a wall and hope that it changes her stupid ways of thinking. She hit me so bad I cant feel my face or my finger tips. I also cant feel half of my head because she pulled my hair too hard and i feel like my skull is throbbing. she wont even let me go to the bathroom because shes forcing me to work my ass off on those assignments I have low grades on. I want this to end. I want her to end. I want her to stop thinking the way she does. I just want my phone back. I want a break. She acts like if I have low grades in ONE class the world is ending. She acts if there's a fucking atomic bomb dropping right on our doorstep because the FBI found out I had 3 still PASSING grades in my classes. The universe is HUGE and my grades are either just pixelated letters on a screen or a few strokes of ink on a piece of paper. This is also my teachher's faults. I submitted an assignment a few minutes late and she decides to give it a zero, despite the work being correct. That specific teacher's zeros are worth SOOOO much and they can so easily bring my grade down from an A to a D. Im afraid shes gonna go through my phone and find my private stuff. My conversations with my friends, my photos, and anything else. Those are relatively fine but I have an ai app on my phone and THAT is what I'm most scared of her finding. I know my limbs would be severed off one by one if she finds it. I just want this to end. I wish teachers weren't so strict with their grading and that they give you second chances.

Eversince i started middle school my mom has been so harsh on me. i mean I get it, its to get ready for the future, but that doesn't mean calling me a biatch, saying to go fock yourself, I wish you were never born, I wish you weren't a burden, I wish you knew how to say sorry, I wish I knew, I wish I could actually, I wish to die. I just WISH I can actually learn to love, to accept, to learn to say sorry, to just restart. Im sorry mom, I wish I listened to you earlier, I don't want our relationship like this, I don't want my mom to not care for me anymore, I want to have the relationship were mom and daughter are bestfriends, I'm sorry for this, I wish... I just wish, i wish i was never born so i wouldn't be a burden, i just wish wish wish, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense

It’s not really a story. I need a place to vent. I have no one to turn to. I don’t want to worry my family and my friends will judge me which they have every right to do so cause I did to my self. I have health issues that effect my liver. It’s been managed well with medication but last year I lost my health insurance. I was not able to see my dr and wasn’t taking my medication line I was supposed to. I would occasionally drink but I should have been more concern since I didn’t have health insurance! Well I finally got insurance and went to the drs. Got my results back and my liver is bad. My dr hasn’t reached out to me and I’m scared. Scared I’ve done severe damage and the new health issues it will bring. I’ve cried two times but I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified but I did this to myself. I’m the one to blame. Why should people hear me out

I do not like my parents. I have an older brother and it's obcvous that he's the golden child, my parents would do anything to make him happy while I'm just there wanting to be acknowleged and maybe respected? To give some context I am transgender and gay, since I was 11 I was struggling with my identity.(I'm now 16) At 13 I started self-harming and I was struggling mentally. During that time I met my best friend, he is also trans. His dad is more supportive than my parents are so he got to wear boy clothes, got to have short hair etc. My parents weren't really fond of him and I think they wanted to have a reason to make me cut him out. Eventually me and my friend started dating and he was the true love to me. On my 14th birthday I decided to fuck it all and I gave myself a nice short haircut. My parents freaked out and assumed it was my friend who was poisoning my brain but it was a decison I made on my own due to gender dysphoria. My parents forbid me from talking to him and it crushed me, we continued to date in secret for a few months more but came the moment when we broke up. I stopped texting him for a few minutes and he was really worried because I was very close to the edge of unaliving myself, he texted my mom basically begging her to check up on me. I was not trying to kill myself but I thought that my mom would ask what's wrong but I was so so wrong. She started complaining that she has it harder than me, how dare I even think of dying and she started listing all her problems and issues. That sucked. Few months later my parents found out about my self-harm and it was just a night of my parents screaming at me that it's disgusting, that I should be ashamed of it, that I don't have a reason to do all this. Many other hurtful things were said by them but I think what stuck the most was my dad asking "what did you use? do you want me to buy you real razors?" and then screaming at me. Few months later I was trying to attempt suicide, the only person whom I said goodbye to was my best friend, he threatened to call my mom and I think that was the only reason I got out of the noose. I lied down on the floor, my brother rushed into my room and called my mom. She promised that she won't be mad at me and that I should go to her. She lied. I did not hear a single sentence that would try to comfort me. My parents started another screaming session and I think what hurt me the most was what my mom said, "look at your brother how sad he is because of what you did". My brother then got comforted by my mom while I was just left in my room crying with my dad yelling at me, he was extremely homophobic and transphobic then as well. I was forbidden from going to school, I had my electronics taken away and I couldn't leave the house for a week. Then it was the summer holidays, then highschool started. 1st year in highschool was alright I guess but my best friend found a new parnter and I was getting depressed again, but it didn't work out between them. I feel bad for saying this but I'm happy it didn't. We promised eachother that once I turn 18 and move out we're gonna be togheter not as friend nor as a couple. Just us 2. Now I'm in 2nd grade and a few months ago my brother got a girlfriend, it wouldv'e been fine except for the fact that he's 21 and I think she's 15/16. He gets to sleepover at her place 3 hours away for WEEK at a time and I couldn't go to sleepovers to my friend who lived 15 minutes away. There are 2 things related to his relationship with that girl that genuenly made me cry: 1st was when before they got all official my mom told me "I'm so worried about your brother, what if she breaks his heart?". Mother you were cheering when you found out that the love of my life left me? You didn't give a shit about my broken heart? 2nd was when during like additional english lesson at a language school we were discussing stereotypes and everyone was joking and I decided to join in and joked about "discord mod" stereotype and said that my brother was one. My teacher asked what's that, I explained and also said the age gap between my brother and his girlfriend and my teacher was disgusted. I then asked why is it okay for him to be a pedo but not okay for me to be gay? I then started violently crying, my teacher came to hug me, she comforted and brushed my hair with her hands, she let me cry it out as long as I needed it. The rest of the lesson was kinda akward but it was the first time in many years that I felt maternal love, even if she isn't my mom. I sometimes mention weird stuff my parents do and she always says that she's a mom herself and that it's terrifying what they're doing and that she would never to that to her children. A week later, when we were alone in the classroom she asked how I'm feeling, are my parents really that not accepting of who I am, she said that she can see that I'm fading away and if I need it she can call someone or talk with my mom to talk sense into her. I declined the last offer because it would've made it worse but I thanked her for caring. Mrs Monika if you somehow end up reading this I love you and I would like to thank you for being a better mom to me than my mom ever was, (even if we see eachother only once a week). Me and my friend recently went thrifting in secret and some time later we went ice skating(also in secret haha, and we did kiss both times, I love that weirdo). That's all I guess?

I don’t know why some people like to butt in other people lives? Specially sister in-laws. Don’t they have their own family to take care of? I am really frustrated about how they all keep butting in my life. As if I have less problems of my own but one more phone call of them to my mil just make my day more shitty. I try not to get affected but in the end it takes psychological toll on me, it keeps playing in my head like a radio and makes me feel miserable I can’t even complain about them to anyone 😕

I've been struggled with depression since I was in grade 3 or 4. I didn't know what "depression" is until I grew up. And now, I'm still dealing with it every single days.

So i'm currently in my final year in university, i have a lot of things to worry about included my family, my future jobs, my future life,... so i sometimes feel overwhelm. In the final year, you're usually go to a company or an office to start your internship, right? Me too, but things didn't work out like I planned. My step-dad said that he can handle this because of his "wide networks" so he can find me a good place for my internship. It was the government's office, i didn't like it at first but still accept it because it related to my major. But people at the office didn't welcome me because they saw me entering the office as a "nuisance" or "this girl is good for nothing, only rely on her dad relationship". Then they made things hard for me to get my CV accepted. So right now, I still didn't get my internship, meanwhile, all the students in my uni are starting their owns. My friends too, they talked about how cool and lively their work environment are. It made me feel embarrased and bored. Not to mention, if I don't get my internship, I'll have to re-do my class ONE MORE YEAR. And I can't graduate on time.

Also, I'm kinda lost these days. I missed all the plan I've made and rot in bed days after days. Even tho in my head, I know I should get rid of those bad hanits of mine but I just can't find the motivation for it. And my mother tended to force me on doing houseworks instead of letting me go out for fresh air. She said i have to take care of my younger brothers and the house. And whenever i do something that trigger her, she'll beat me and scream at me with harsh words. I've been like this since I was in Kintergarden🫠 well she even said "i wish you were never born to me" so yea, i'm used to it. You may think I'm weak or helpless but that's just how I deal with my life. I still live til this day, but I'm not sure I can keep up with living like this anymore.

It sounds hardless. But my uncle is a fatshamer who says I'm ugly because I'm overweight. My grandma has lost her marbles and also talks about me being overweight. My other grandma is a nymphomaniac who makes me hella uncomfortable. The other uncles basically doesn't exist and the one I got along with really well died in front of me...and my parents are...Well...debatable. They want me to pay 400 in rent and that was fine when I earned 1800 by working 6 days a week for 8 hours a day (I'm on minimum wage) now with uni They cut my hours. I pay for everything myself and I pay for my little brother's stuff. I cannot afford 400 in rent. And they just said "stop buying things" and I'm like...I go out twice a week for coffee. That is it. The rest is spent on THEIR son. I cannot afford to move out because I have no secure job nor hours. But yet I'm the villain. And I have "no problems in life". I go to work where I'm being mistreated just to be used, judged and still be broke.

I’m struggling a lot with life I think, and finding myself thinking or fantasizing what the world would be like without me in it which I’m really worried about. It started in Nov of 2023, when I got this certification for my field of work. I felt really proud of myself as it was a really big deal, and thought that things would only go up from there. Fast forward a couple of months, me and my ex, my first really serious relationship, split up. Without going into too much detail, we both had issues with the other person, both did crappy things (probably moreso me), and knew it wasn’t healthy to continue. We agreed to still live together as roommates, as neither of us can afford to really live on our own, and felt we were still friends at the end of it all. At first I think I just suppressed it, tried distracting myself with activities, work, playing games with online friends, etc. I didn’t start realizing how I really felt until about 5 months later, when I just kinda realized I wasn’t over her. I told her how I felt and she agreed to work on it but that it was going to take some serious time. Over the next few months I tried working it out and fixing things, albeit going about it the wrong way and lovebombing, becoming exhausted and putting me in a really bad spot mentally. She text me one day when I was at work saying she couldn’t reignite feelings and she didn’t want to continue trying, and that I should’ve figured myself out sooner (but also not? idk I still can’t wrap my head around that one). To her credit she would come check in on me at first, and I guess I missed the hint as I had been under the impression that she wanted nothing to do with me relationship wise ever again. I felt crushed I think, and in a way led on but I knew that really wasn’t her fault. I told her I also didn’t have feelings anymore being a lie, moreso I just don’t want to have feelings anymore. Since then I’ve been in a limbo, it’s felt downhill ever since. On top of all of this going on, work was really demanding over the last year as my supervisor was absent for maybe a collective quarter of the year to the point that I couldn’t remember the last time he worked a full work week consecutively (which is uncommon in my field), which mentally and physically drained me even more. My online friends also turned out to not be who I thought they were, and started talking to them less and less. I tried therapy for awhile, but that wasn’t really working. Fast forward to now, I’m constantly in a deep depression. Hearing her laugh in her room playing games with friends and knowing she now has a boyfriend is almost like a constant punch in the gut. I’m getting back into my hobbies which is helping a little bit, but like i’d mentioned I still think about the world without me in it, and even though I think about something else almost immediately, I’m thinking about it more and more lately. I know I need to get out of this house, but I don’t know where to go, plus for better or worse I still care about her and don’t want her to struggle finding a place either. I feel trapped and alone I think. Sorry for the long post, been holding onto this one for awhile.

F18, I apologize right away, because I will write chaotically and jump abruptly from the topic. I just feel that I need to vent, but I have no one to talk to, so I am writing here. And English is not my native language, I write through a translator. I am currently studying at the institute, and I have no motivation to study. I have no motivation for anything at all. I don't know if I like what I am studying, if this is

who I want to become in life. I don't feel smart, I feel stupid, my social circle is much smarter than me, but I can't find the strength to try to study too. I don't feel like I have any real friends, even though I know I have them and I'm privileged to have friends at all. But lately I just don't feel comfortable talking to people. I just don't want to do anything. I hate myself, my body, the way I speak, my behavior, my character. I have no talent for anything, I can't do anything perfectly like others. I want to lose weight, but I can't. I can't remember myself without wanting to lose weight. I don't see myself as beautiful, I don't think I will be beautiful even if I lose weight. I've never been in a relationship, I've never experienced teenage love, it's forever lost to me. I am just so tired. There are still so many topics I want to write about, but there are explosions outside my window and I'm afraid my mom will ask me to go into the hallway and see me crying. So I'm finishing up. Maybe next time. Thank you to everyone who read this.