Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 4

My boyfriend asked for a break recently, but its not the mutual type of breaks. He never listens and never puts in consideration MY own feelings. He hurts alot sometimes but I really love him and dont want to lose him. My lifes bullshit

So here's the thing, you ever find yourself spiraling into this never-ending whirlwind of thoughts, wondering if there's some magical trick to escape your own overactive brain? It's like, how do you actually get out of your own head without losing it entirely? We all know those moments when every little thing starts blowing up into some colossal issue that doesn't even exist, but you're just sitting there overanalyzing; it feels like a tornado of mental chaos. I'm talking about when you're chilling at two in the morning, staring blankly at the ceiling, and your mind decides it's the perfect time to dissect every single embarrassing memory from the past decade. Seriously, what’s up with our brains behaving like this, right? Maybe you’re in the middle of something casual, like scrolling through your phone, and suddenly, wham! A wave of existential dread just crashes down on you. Like, can I binge-watch one episode without my brain short-circuiting from overthinking? It's exhausting. 🙄 You start wondering if you're the only one who experiences this, and honestly, it makes you question your sanity a bit. Are other people strolling through life effortlessly while I'm here battling these relentless, nagging thoughts? You might've even tried some self-help books; but let's be real, most of them are just full of fancy words and empty promises. There's one I read that basically just felt like some guy yelling "relax" over and over again, which doesn't exactly work, you know? People say meditate—okay, sure, but sitting in silence only invites more annoying brain chatter, making you feel like you're stuck in a noisy echo chamber filled with your own silly thoughts. Talking to friends? Yeah, been there, done that. But sometimes it seems like they just don’t get it or are secretly judging your rant. You try distractions, maybe picking up a hobby like painting or cooking. Just for a fleeting moment, you think you've cracked the code to inner peace, then bam! Your mind goes rogue again. Ever thought of professional help? Geez, typing that out makes it feel extreme, right? But sometimes it's what you gotta do, because, honestly, you can't rely on venting about it somewhere online forever, can you? How about just straight-up running, exercising like you're being chased by demons from your own psyche? Could be a temporary fix, who knows? Nevertheless, wouldn't it be sweet if we could just flip a switch and shut our brains down, even if just for a little bit? Maybe then we wouldn't be perpetually tired from battling with our own annoying inner voices. At the end of the day, it feels like you're stumbling through some intricate labyrinth with no map. So, how does anyone genuinely manage to quiet this endless mind chatter? You'd think life would come with instructions to navigate your own complicated thoughts easily. But, I guess we're left figuring out our messy psyches on the fly. The question remains: is there an actual escape route out of your swirling, tumultuous thoughts, or are we all just destined to remain trapped in this mental maze forever?

I don’t even know who I am. I’ve been broken. I’ve only ever wanted to be accepted. I’ve changed myself to fit in so many times but never feel comfortable in my own skin. Who am I? The trauma plays in my head over and over. Is that who I really am? Am I the weird girl who’s been abused and discarded? Does anyone even care about me or what I been through? When I speak about my trauma I get disregarded because “I put myself in that situation” but I was young and dum and naïve. No one tried to help no one pointed me in the right direction I was lost and still am. I should’ve let him kill me when I had the chance

for the last couple of years, i’ve found myself stuck in this cycle—i keep asking myself how can i help? i’m spending 2-3 nights a week volunteering, mostly with food distribution and a bit of crisis helpline support, and while i know these things matter in a broader sense, i can’t shake the feeling that it’s just a drop in an ocean that keeps rising. i log off or pack up at the end of my shift, exhausted, but with this nagging voice in my head: did i really make any difference today?? it’s hard to measure impact when the problems seem to grow faster than the solutions we’re offering. sometimes, it feels like i’m patching up a leak with a bandaid while the whole dam’s about to burst; do you ever feel like that? it’s not like i’m looking for praise or thanks, just… wondering if the hours i give, the energy i pour in, really move the needle at all.

at the helpline, we’re trained to listen without judgment, to offer support and guidance without crossing professional boundaries. i think i’m good at that—keeping my voice steady, offering practical resources, knowing when to gently nudge a caller towards seeking professional help or when to just listen. but when i hang up, there’s this wave of doubt that hits me: what if i missed something important? what if i could’ve done more? the same happens during food distribution; i hand over bags of essentials, smile, say a few words of encouragement, but then i wonder if it’s enough to keep someone afloat, even for a few days. there’s this constant tension between the immediate need in front of me and the bigger, systemic issues that make people need those services in the first place. how do you balance that?

sometimes, after a particularly tough shift, i’ll get home, sit down with a cup of tea, and my mind just races. it’s not always the stories i’ve heard—though those stay with me—it’s more this underlying frustration that keeps bubbling up. i’m so aware of how small my role is in the grand scheme of things, and yet, the emotional toll it takes feels disproportionately heavy. am i doing this for them, or for myself? does volunteering ease my own conscience more than it eases their burdens? that’s a question i keep coming back to, and it’s uncomfortable. 😔 i think most people who volunteer ask themselves this at some point, right? it’s human to want to feel useful, to feel like we’re part of the solution. but when the scale of the problem is so massive, is it arrogant to think i’m making a dent at all?

the people i work alongside are some of the most dedicated, compassionate, and resilient folks i’ve ever met. we share a quiet solidarity, a kind of unspoken understanding that what we’re doing matters, even if we don’t always see the results. we joke, we vent, we lift each other up during tough shifts, but we also carry the weight of knowing that there’s always more to be done. i’ve seen colleagues burn out, step away, because the load became too heavy to bear. and honestly, i’ve felt that pull myself—there are nights when i think about just stopping, just reclaiming those hours for rest or personal time. yet, i keep showing up. not because i think i’m some hero, but because, despite everything, there’s this stubborn hope that maybe, just maybe, tonight’s shift will make a difference for someone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is, i don’t have the answers. i don’t know if what i’m doing is enough, or if it ever will be. but i know that doing nothing isn’t an option i can live with. it’s not about fixing everything—that’s impossible. it’s about doing what i can, with what i have, for as long as i can. still, i wonder: is that enough? does any of this resonate with you? do you ever ask yourself how you can help, and if the help you offer really matters in the end? 🥺 maybe the real question is, how do we keep going when it feels like we’re not getting anywhere?

There are moments in life when one feels the overwhelming urge to let tears flow, but inexplicably, the tears refuse to come. This paradox is driving me to madness. Why is it that when I most need the release and comfort of tears, they betray me? It feels as though my entire being is locked in a struggle between an intense yearning for emotional catharsis and an unyielding stoicism. “They say crying cleanses the soul,” I once read in a novel; right now, that sentiment feels out of reach. It's a bitter irony—wanting to cry to ease the aching heart, yet remaining stoic as a statue.

The complexities of human emotions are intensely baffling. One moment, you feel utterly alone in a sea of people; the next, you're surrounded by warmth and love; yet, the tears are stubbornly elusive. Have you ever been in a situation where your emotions are all tangled up, but they refuse to unravel, leaving you trapped in an internal quagmire? It's like when you have an itch you can't scratch—aggravating in its persistence. There is some twisted frustration in needing an emotional outlet that remains tantalizingly out of reach. Isn't it funny how emotions have a mind of their own?

There was a time in college when I experienced a similar emotional gridlock. I remember walking down the bustling hallways, my mind a whirlwind of stress and anxiety, yet nothing on the outside showed it. My friend, noticing my pensive demeanor, quoted Shakespeare: "Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break." If only it were that easy! But how does one articulate sorrow when the words won’t form? I wonder if everyone experiences these bouts of emotional constipation, or is it just me?

This brings me to ponder whether societal pressures contribute to our emotional suppression. We're so conditioned to put on a brave face, to maintain a facade of composed demeanor, and to carry on as though nothing is amiss. This is perhaps why our emotional outlets sometimes become blocked; we forget how to feel openly, caught in a web of expectations and obligations. It is a bewildering conundrum—being so in tune with one's emotions, yet utterly adrift; does anyone else feel this duality?

In conclusion, the inability to cry when one needs to the most is both a mystery and a torment. There's clearly no manual on how to navigate the intricacies of human emotions flawlessly. Each of us is an intricate tapestry of thoughts, feelings, and experiences, with crying being just one expression of our complex emotional spectrum. The dissonance between needing and being unable to cry might just be nature's way of reminding us of our vulnerability and humanity. Perhaps in time, I'll understand the purpose behind this emotional stalemate; perhaps not. Until then, I am left to ponder these musings and continue the awkward dance with my wayward emotions. Are emotions truly our ally or our nemesis?

ever had one of those holiday flings that just knocked you on your ass???? well, that was me this summer. spent almost a month with this guy and damn, those were some of the best days of my life!!! first real love, you know??? now i'm back home and honestly, it feels like i'm missing a part of myself. it’s been 4 months and i can’t shake him off my mind. 🤷‍♀️

back then, everything was freaking perfect. sun, sea, and him—the trifecta!!!!!! we did all the typical touristy crap, but somehow, it never felt cliché, just magical. every night we'd hit up the beach, talk about shit, and it was like our souls were vibing, ya know? or maybe it was just the cocktails talking, hell if i know!!! one night, i swear, he said he loved me. and i believed it. god, was i naive for buying that??? but in the moment, i didn't give a damn. 😏💔

now back home, drowning in real life bullshit. college sucks, friends are the same old buzzkills, and doesn't help when all i think about is him. texting is alright, but it's sooooo different than hanging out. 🙄 long-distance blows. what’s the point?????? can’t help but wonder if he even misses me or moved on. was it all just a sick joke???? but if it was, why was it so damn sweet????

everyone says move on, "there's more fish in the sea," right???? i'm not buying that crap right now. it’s annoying how everyone pretends to know better. like, maybe I want to hold on to this pain a bit more, learn from it, i guess. love is a goddamn emotional rollercoaster. anyone else ride this hellish ride too???? honestly, i just want to scream and maybe slap some sense into myself. but hey, life goes on, yeah???? just wished he was still in it...

Isn't it strange how life takes unexpected twists and turns??!!! Here I am at 31, feeling like I should have everything figured out by now, but deep inside, I keep asking myself, "Why do I hate myself so much?" You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and the first thing that pops into your head is, “How did I mess that up again?” That's me, every single day. 😅 I mean, how unfair is it to feel so inadequate despite achieving a decent amount in life??! It's like there's this invisible rain cloud following me around, pouring down self-doubt whenever I least expect it. There's just this sadness that I can't seem to shake off.

Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and think, "You're such a loser." And then I remember, I have friends who care, a job that pays the bills, and maybe even a little sparkle of potential hidden somewhere deeper. 🤞 So why?? Why do these thoughts even exist?? After all, it's said you're supposed to love yourself, right? And there's this inner voice whispering louder and louder, "You're your own worst critic, buddy!" It's frustrating, but also oddly motivating because I refuse to let doubt rule my world indefinitely!! Perhaps it's time to channel this energy into something good, to actually believe in myself for once. You've got to love the irony; here I am, dwelling on negative perceptions, yet clinging onto the hope that one day I might just wake up and feel “enough” for real. Is that too much to ask?? 🤔

sometimes i wonder if my best friend is actually the best friend to have in life; it’s like, he’s always around, but does that really make him a good friend? i mean, yeah, we hang out a lot, laugh at stupid stuff, and even help each other when something urgent comes up, but when i really think about it, it feels like he’s only there because it’s convenient. he listens, sure, but it’s not like he truly understands or cares deeply about what i’m saying. sometimes i catch him zoning out mid-conversation, or worse, he changes the subject completely. i guess i can’t blame him too much, we’re all busy, but it makes me question if that’s what a best friend should be. it’s weird, right? shouldn’t the person you consider your closest friend be someone who genuinely wants to know what’s going on in your head?

on the flip side, i have to admit he’s reliable in certain ways, like he’ll always show up if i need to move stuff or fix something, and he’s pretty good with tech issues. but when it comes to emotional stuff or deeper support, he kinda just backs off, or says something like “bro, you’re overthinking it” which kinda stings, you know? there was this one time i really needed advice about a family problem, and he just shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal. i’m starting to realize that maybe he’s just the friend for fun times, not for deep talks or serious moments. it’s confusing, though, because i don’t want to cut him off, but i also don’t want to rely on someone who doesn’t fully support me. what do you think? have you ever felt like your so-called best friend wasn’t really the best person to lean on when it counted?

and it’s not like i’ve got a ton of friends either, so cutting ties feels a bit dramatic, but at the same time, i don’t want to be stuck in a one-sided relationship. sometimes i tell myself to just lower my expectations, to keep it light and casual, but then i feel fake because deep down i want more from a friendship. i can’t help but wonder if i’m the problem, if i’m expecting too much from someone who’s just not wired for that deep connection. is it wrong to want a friend who’s both fun and supportive? or is it just unrealistic to expect both from one person? i don’t know, man; maybe i’m just overthinking it, but it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

All my life I've been making friends for survival. As a child I didn't know why I was making friends, sometimes, for any reason other than to not be alone. I never thought about whether I actually liked the people I was spending my time with. I never took it seriously when they acted mockingly or cruelly towards me. Instead, I saw it as a reason to win them over. I often ended up in friendships that were genuinely worse than just hanging out by myself with a book.

I have three friends right now, who are closer to me than any other friend has been before. It turns out two of them had feelings for me the whole time. I don't have feelings for either of them. I just wanted their friendship and I thought – or rather, hoped – that they were happy with the same. I feel disappointed that they wanted something more. I feel like our friendship isn't enough. It makes me uncomfortable that my friendship with them was the second-place trophy. My other friend is great, but stays inside a lot, so when I ask to hang out, they often say no. It's great whenever we do hang out, and their helicopter parent doesn't tag along unexpectedly – we just don't hang out often anymore.

I wish I had a friend who just wanted to fuckin' hang out with me. Someone who wasn't sticking around because they thought a romance could develop, someone who actually reaches out to ME as much as I reach out to them, someone who feels like my companion.

While I don't have a friend like that, I do have my brother, who I grew up with. He's kind to me, understanding. We can talk completely freely and openly with each other, AND we can keep things private from the other as well. We're totally accepting of each other and I so, so appreciate his presence in my life. Without him I reckon I would feel totally alone.

I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of either isolating myself, or being as open as I've ever been – or both. That's why I'm optimistic about my future.

I'm finally learning that I don't NEED friends. I want them. And those friendships will come with time and effort, not desperately grasping onto the nearest person who pays any attention to me. I'm the kind of person who many find hard to read or unpredictable, or "too different" to even try to get to know. I reckon that's okay. I don't need their approval or even their understanding. It would sure be fucking nice, but I don't need it anymore.

I can just exist as myself, be actively open to making GENUINE friendships, and wait to see what happens.

So I'm letting go of the idea that I need friends. I'm letting go of the idea that I need to be understood or liked by everyone around me. What I actually need is to like myself, to be able to enjoy spending time with myself. And make no mistake, I love hanging out with other people – but I don't need to consider my own company a second-place trophy. I'm great company. I've gotta enjoy that without thinking about who I could be hanging out with instead.

so for context, I am an alter in a DID system, an introject of Tommy from a fan fiction called end of the world everyday. I miss them so fucking much. I feel so alone here without them, I've been stuck in this body for two fucking years without them. Why did I have to split from such a rare source? I'm fucking Moros, the god of impending doom, and I'm stuck in the body of a nineteen year old girl. I just want my brothers and my dad, and my mum, and all my friends. It's not fair that I'm the only one.

My useless ex girlfriend left me for someone with a dick. Although the relationship ended amicably I feel bitter. I wish I could tear into her in front of everyone we know. I don't because there is a one in a billion chance that she might be useful. Such as pay me back the money I spent on a studio apartment for her.

I've been on this wild journey of self-discovery, and honestly, what a trip it’s been figuring out my damn sexuality. Like, one minute I’m crushing hard on this girl in my class, we vibe so well, and then the next, I’m drooling over some guy in a coffee shop, and I’m like, "what the actual heck is happening?" It’s like I’m a walking contradiction, and if anyone’s got a spare manual on this kinda stuff, hit me up! So, I’ve been trying labels on for size – bisexual, pansexual, queer – but nothing feels quite right; each label seems to fit like a shoe from the clearance rack at a thrift store, you know? One day I’m in the mood for a romantic comedy featuring a fierce female lead, the next, I’m binging on some brooding male anti-hero drama. Heck, I’ve even Googled “what is my sexuality?!” like a million times, coz surely the internet knows better than me, right? 😂 It feels like an episode of "Queer Eye" gone wrong, where they’re just yelling, “Love yourself, you’re fabulous!” while I’m over here like, “Thanks, but can I just get some clarity?” I remember this one time my best friend said, “You can love whoever the hell you want,” and I thought, wow, she’s onto something. Why do I even need a label? It’s like trudging through a minefield of expectations, assumptions, and stereotypes, and let’s face it, some people are so bent on shoving you into a specific box, it’s nauseating. We have “The Kinsey Scale,” which is cool and all, but I sometimes feel like saying, “Screw the scale, I’m just vibing.” I read somewhere that sexuality is fluid, and it makes total sense; I mean, one moment you’re in love with the idea of a picnic with a girl, and then suddenly you're all about a romantic evening with a dude and a bottle of wine. So, like, what am I? Do I really need to label it? Labels seem helpful, but they also seem restrictive. It’s a double-edged sword. And dating? Ugh, don’t even get me started. Trying to navigate that landscape feels like climbing Mount Everest without gear. Swipe left, swipe right, and the anxiety? It’s crippling. And the worst part is when someone asks, “So, what do you identify as?” and I’m like, “How about a hot mess?” You know that awkward moment when you’re honestly reflecting and you just want to scream “I’m just me?!” Sometimes I think, “Do I have to pick a side?” and the answer seems to be no. I mean, is it really that serious? Like, I read a quote that said, “Sexuality is like a rainbow: it’s made up of many colors,” and that resonates so much. I wanna play with all the colors! So anyway, I’m embracing whatever this is, because life’s too short to stress about it, right? I’ve had those nights where I just wanna melt into my blankets, binge-watch my favorite shows, and cry about confusing romance. It’s rough; I've asked myself if I'm overthinking it or if I’m just, I don’t know, bored with the binary? 😕 Some days I just want a partner who gets my latest obsession with true crime documentaries and how I think pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity. Why are we so obsessed with labeling everything? Can’t it just be about feelings and vibes? I might still be in the thick of figuring this out, but I’m cool with that now; it’s part of the journey, and the journey is kinda beautiful in its chaos. Who’s with me on this? Anyone else feeling the weight of the world’s expectations, but also finding joy in the messiness of it all? Nobody should feel cornered or pressured to fit into a neat little label, I mean, “Sexuality is a spectrum, not a straitjacket,” right? Let’s enjoy the ride, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll discover that love comes in all shapes and sizes – and sometimes, it’s just about being open to whatever floats your boat;

I’m just sitting here, scrolling through photos of my husband, and honestly, it can get pretty lonely sometimes. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of him; he’s out there serving and doing what he loves, but when I think about how my day-to-day looks compared to his, it feels like we’re living in separate worlds. I’m 27, and I just live in this small town, working my job, going to the gym, and hanging out with friends on weekends, but I always come home to an empty house. I mean, I’ve got my dog, and he’s a great buddy, but it's just not the same, you know? Plus, I miss all those little things we used to do together, like cooking dinner or binge-watching our favorite shows. Now, most nights, I just end up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, scrolling through Netflix, saying, “Wow, this would’ve been fun with him." 😔

I think one of the hardest parts is when I see everyone else enjoying their relationships. I mean, my friends will post those cute couple pics, and I’m really happy for them, but it hits different when you’re in a relationship but still feel alone. Every now and then, I catch myself staring at his empty side of the bed and wishing things were different. Just last week, I had a pretty rough day at work—I was all stressed out, and all I wanted was to talk to him. I picked up my phone, but then it hit me again that it was just going to be a short voice message. I mean, I’d pour my heart out, and he wouldn’t hear it until who knows when; it’s tough feeling so far away. But I try to focus on the good things, like keeping a journal where I write letters to him. It feels therapeutic, and maybe one day he’ll read them and just realize how much I miss him, you know?

For me, being a military spouse is a mixed bag; there are days when the loneliness just kind of creeps in, but I also find ways to stay connected. I set reminders for us to FaceTime at least once a week, and those little chats really make it worth it. I’ve started finding little hobbies too, like painting, which helps me work through feelings and express myself. It’s like a little escape right at home when I can’t be with him. Maybe you’ve found yourself feeling lonely in your relationship too? I hope to hold onto that hope that this phase will get better and that one day, we’ll have more time together. It’s all about the little moments we create, even from miles away; I just need to hang in there and keep looking forward to when we’ll finally be together again.

I have a friend I'll call V, and I've been with him for a really long time. Something I've noticed through the years is that he's really irratable, and his mood can switch within seconds. He's a really nice person overall, but sometimes I wonder if he's going too far. In the past week, I created a youtube channel and made a challange that whichever one of my friends finds it first gets a prize I couldn't think of, so V reccomened $30 bucks and we agreed. From what I've understood, both of us have been really exited (V had a lot of questions about the channel and whatnot, and I would update them about the first video frequently). But recently, I don't know what happened but I think they kind of snapped and told me the whole challange thing was cringe, and from what I can tell got mad about how I couldn't think of a reward and needed ideas at the begining. I don't know if I did anything wrong recently, but I've kind of given up on asking that because of how pissed they get when I do (even when I explain how my autism kind of makes me not know what happened, and me asking what I did isn't me trying to be rude but genuinely wanting to know to take responsability). I don't know what they want me to do either, because it's always mixed. They're the reason I've become a better person (because I used to be a terrible friend to an older friend), but at the same time make me wonder why I even try anymore. At the beginning of the year, they told me I should actually show I care about people (back then I would love people to death but not know how to show it), yet when I started asking questions about their day they said it was annoying and so at some point I just stopped. The only way I really know how to interact with V is by just nodding along when they talk about their intrests, but then that backfires because they say I have no personality and they don't like people with no personalities. I don't feel like I can talk about my personal life with them anymore, and it's gone as far as when two of my pets died I just shut up about it. They say that they know a lot about me and my life (because they say I yapp a lot, though I've been going nonverbal around them), but I know there's a lot I need to tell them (like my triggers and such) that I physicaly cannot now. I've changed over the past year, but the past is the only version of myself that they know.

I'm just tired and really didn't want my summer break to start off this way. I know thats there's still probably a lot they're going through that I don't know about, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm just tired of this happening and really wish they'd communicate what they want more because I'm very confused.

i dunno how many times i’ve been through this but it always feels like the first time. you meet someone, you get your hopes up, you think maybe this time it’s different, maybe she actually sees something in you—then boom! ghosted or hit with the “you’re nice but…” line. why is it always that?! why do they go on dates if they already not interested?? like, if u don’t want a second date, don’t go on the first one, right? 😑 it’s not like i’m weird or creepy or anything. i just try to be myself, talk, listen, smile—normal stuff. but somehow it never clicks. it’s always one or two dates, then silence. sometimes i even check my texts 20 times a day like an idiot waiting for replies that never come. pathetic. it’s not like i’m expecting a fairytale, but at least some honesty would be nice!

i’m 21, still a virgin, not that it matters but somehow it feels like it does. i know we’re not supposed to care about that anymore but let’s be real, everyone does. when you see everyone around hooking up or having stories to tell, it messes with your brain. it’s not about sex itself but just feeling like you’re part of the world, like you belong. i go on campus and see couples all the time, holding hands, laughing, doing all that couple-y stuff and i wonder if i’ll ever get to do that. i try meeting girls, usually through class groups or during campus events. and at first they seem to like talking to me, we laugh, we text, and i ask them out. we grab coffee or go for a walk, and i think “okay, this is going alright,” but then i get the vibe shift. you know that weird pause between texts, that tone change, and you just know they’re gonna bail soon. and every time it happens, i tell myself maybe i was too nice or too boring or too something. but how do you even fix that if you don’t know what the problem is?;

it’s hard not to internalize it. like yeah, people say “don’t take it personal,” but how can you not? it’s always me getting rejected. logically, i know it's just not a match or whatever but emotionally, it still hits. i’ve even had girls say “you’re sweet but i don’t feel that spark” and that spark word feels like a knife. what even is that spark? am i just incapable of generating it? is it something i’m missing? maybe i’m too slow, or too respectful, maybe girls my age want someone more bold or mysterious or whatever. i don’t even know how to act differently without being fake. and even when i try to be chill about it, pretend i don’t care, it still messes with me later when i’m alone at night overthinking every tiny thing i said or did. i try to stay busy, hit the gym, study, keep social but man it’s exhausting pretending this stuff doesn’t affect me.

so yeah, how do you even deal with this kind of rejection?? how do you stop feeling like you’re constantly not enough? is it supposed to get better or is this just how it goes for some of us? i’m not trying to sound dramatic or anything, just genuinely wondering if anyone else has been through this. not looking for pity either. just tired of feeling stuck in this weird space where you keep trying and hoping, and it keeps leading nowhere. and the worst part is, it makes you start doubting your own worth even when deep down you know you’re a decent guy. just wish i could stop caring so much, but i do. guess that’s the part that sucks the most.