Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 4

Ok the title sounds so cringe 😭 BUT IM A LOSER TOO BRO. I am not typical wanting a bf bc of my looks and just stuff in my home life kinda. But like idk I guess I would want someone like me. No friends kinda odd. And I rather want a ROMANTIC relationship. Like I would consider online but theres pedos and the pressure of face reveals and a lot of problems. This is lek just a rant

when I was 9 I started doing sh, My dad kept comparing me to others, making jokes about my appearance, and saying rude things to me. He has anger issues and keeps threatening to punch me, slap me, or cut off a limb or two to keep me from leaving the house when I make him angry. I was tired of him at the age of 9 so I started to do self-harm as a way of punishing myself and coping, I couldn't talk to my parents. I don't trust them, when I decided to do sh I cut the front of my arm and it's back until it reached my elbows. I remember crying and wishing that if I told a my dad or mom, they'd comfort me instead of thinking that something was wrong with me. my dad eventually found out when I was 10 and he took pictures and sent them to my other relatives and I felt humiliated, he asked me why I did it as if the way he treated me wasn't enough for him to connect everything so I lied about the reason. after he found out I stopped for a few months and he and my mom never said anything to me, just why and what did I use? he never confronted me or tried to comfort me. neither did my mom, I've been clean for a year and 19 days now but I've been getting urges again. my dad still threatens me like that and sometimes he Pretends to choke me and shake me with his hands around my neck as a joke and I feel uncomfortable, but I can't bring myself to say that since he'll think im just playing along. I love my parents, but sometimes I wonder if they even want me here.

It’s been 2 weeks since classes started and I’ve just been bombarded with activities, tests, more tests, group activities, quizzes and even more quizzes!

Im so overwhelmed, like wdym i need to manage 8 groups in 8 subjects? I don’t wanna have that responsibility.

Home is supposed to be the rest place right? FUCK NO. At home im asked to do chores, tasks and manage 5 animals?? ARENT THOSE YOUR PETS?? Why did they suddenly become mine?

“You barely do anything at home!” DAWG?? IM TOO OVERWHELMED TO DO ANYTHING. I NEED TO SCHEDULE WHAT SUBJECTS TO DO FIRST BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN CURRICULUM.

I HOPE that I’ll eventually get used to this fuckass schedule because im so close to genuinely jumping

Anyways! Byes 😛

Like spending that school year alone. Ig I’m starting to understand myself? Going to a new school in sept suprisingly 😭 idk whether I’m gonna make friends or just stay alone but tbh I kinda want to be alone. Or rather I would want to be pursued like with the whole friends stuff since I started school like I’ve tried making friends but yk people got their friends and can’t blame them for not trying to make new ones. But like my time sitting alone I wish that someone could have just walked up to me and asked if we could be friends and we do infact become friends. Ig u could say I wanted to be rescued. Also w online friends like I try to always look for that people but why can’t they look for me. Rn I’ve started a gc for people w no friends like me but I’m really doubtful that they actually got no friends. Well that’s kinda the rant dk how this correlates w life being good but I’m hoping I can actually be happy alone. Well for my new school I’m honestly not going to try making friends, I am not looking for anyone in real life or online it’s always kinda lead me to disappointment. But maybe i might find someone who actually looks for me friends or bf?😭 but tbh I fear my only problem like lek I’m still scared of like idk being perceived bc in my old school like I sat alone and people passed a lot I felt tensed. I’m tryna avoid that at my new school so I’m gonna have to find a place I can relax. Any advice on how to not care no matter how many people are passing?

Ok so has anyone had relationships where you just go like romantic stuff? no sexual anything (apart from kissing ofc) bc like idk why but anything entirely sexual is really starting to irritate me 😭 but is that even possible in this day and age? Especially with teenage boys minds now 🥀 like the vids I’ve seen are so oddd

So last weekend I went out on a date with this girl. After dinner we went to my house and shortly after we decided to ride around. Well, when we went to my house, I went on ahead and changed into my pajama pants and a comfortable jacket bc it was cold outside. My pajama pants were a Grey plush fuzzy soft type material and my jacket was a black fleece columbia jacket. well we stopped by the lake and I was in that outfit when she started to rub my inner thigh all the sudden I feel a hard firm grip between my legs I remember a gasp and a feeling of shock come over me as I feel her grip getting harder. while all this is happening, she is talking about my pants. it was such a good pain, but im having a hard time processing the whole situation. Why would she grab my crotch like that?

I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel. I feel all the anger just pour into my heart when he comes around. Why do I hate him so much for so less? I always blame the abortion to be the reason but it seems like everything is pushed down. I hate how sorry he feels for himself. He sits in the bathroom, crying about how “mean” I am. I wouldn’t be mean if he didn’t keep trying to manipulate me. He lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. When I look over at him all I see is everything he’s done. He doesn’t comfort me when I cry and says it’s my own fault, because I don’t let him. He’s tired of me. I always runaway now when I’m tired. I cuss him out. I cheat back now too. Even after all of this he won’t let me go. He wants me to become an evil person so his “mistakes” and all of the shit he put me through gets swept. We’ve built this life together and started planning. Now I can’t even kiss him. I can’t even hold his hand. Whenever he touches my body I shiver in disgust. All I can think about is her. He doesn’t know how to comfort people but I’ve seen what he did for her. Just his “female best friend”. I hate all of his friends. They all are friends with his ex best friend and still hangout. I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to figure everything out. I’m trying to understand why or how. When did we go so bad? Now all we do is fight. The man I once loved is someone else.

I’ve been trying to figure this out for a while now, and it’s been kinda messing with my head 🤯. So I’m 21, and until a few months ago, I really thought I was straight. Like, I dated girls, had crushes, even imagined a life with a wife and kids. Then I met this guy… and everything changed. We’ve been together for a few months now. He makes me feel seen, comfortable, and weirdly calm. It’s not some wild dramatic love story, it’s just… real. But now I’m questioning everything. Am I gay? Bi? Queer? What even is the difference between gay and queer? Does one mean attraction only to men, and the other something broader? Or is queer just a vague umbrella word?

It’s confusing when you thought your identity was fixed and then suddenly it’s like someone handed you a completely different map. I mean, I get that sexual orientation is a spectrum and not everything needs a strict label, but I can’t help feeling like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle. Like I need a word to explain who I am to myself, not just to others. Some friends told me “queer” just means not straight, and it’s more fluid. Others said it can be political or cultural too. So does that mean “gay” is more specific and narrow? I don’t want to call myself something that doesn’t fit, but I also don’t wanna stay in this limbo of uncertainty forever 🌀.

Maybe some people don’t care about labels, and I respect that. But for me, having a word that feels like mine matters. It’s like trying to wear clothes that aren’t your size — you can still wear them, but it’s uncomfortable and weird. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to call myself gay, like I haven’t earned it or something, which is probably dumb, I know 😅. But if I say I’m queer, it feels safer, softer, more open. Yet it also feels like I’m avoiding clarity. Does anyone else feel that way? Is it okay not to know exactly where you stand yet?

At the end of the day, I’m grateful. I have someone who loves me, and I love him. That’s more than I ever expected when I started this year. So even if I’m lost in all these labels and meanings, I know I’m not lost in my feelings. I just wish language didn’t make it feel like such a test. Why is it so complicated to say who you are? 🤷‍♂️ Anyway, if you’ve been through something like this or have thoughts on the difference between gay and queer, feel free to share. Maybe I’m not the only one still figuring it out. Maybe figuring it out is part of the journey.

So, there's this thing that’s been bugging me about relationships, and I really need to get it off my chest. I'm 24, just your average guy, and I've got this amazing girlfriend. But here's the kicker: I can't help but feel that I'm way out of her league in terms of looks. You ever had that nagging feeling? Like, she's a total knockout, and I'm just... me. It's not like I don’t trust her or anything, but it’s like this little devil is constantly whispering doubts in my ear. Annoying, right? I know confidence is supposed to be attractive, and I'm usually not too shabby at faking it, but in the quiet moments, self-doubt creeps in. You start questioning everything: “Does she really like me for who I am, or is she just settling for now?” Real talk, it sucks being stuck in that mindset, questioning your self-worth. And yes, I've read all the self-help articles and the whole “You should be grateful she’s with you” spiel. But gratitude doesn’t chase away insecurities, does it?

I keep asking myself if there's a way out of this insecurity abyss without turning into one of those jealous partners. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? The ones who constantly check their partner's phone or make passive-aggressive comments. Not a good look. The clichés don’t cut it either – like “be confident in your own skin” or “just talk to her about it.” Talking is great, but what if you bring up your insecurities and it just makes things awkward? I can't help but wonder if acknowledging these doubts puts a strain on what’s otherwise an awesome relationship. It’s like walking a tightrope. Ever heard the saying, “The more you know, the less you need to show”? Sometimes I feel like keeping my insecurities to myself is protecting our relationship from unnecessary drama. But then I circle back to thinking, “Am I being honest with her, or am I putting on an act?” It’s a real conundrum, balancing honesty with self-esteem. Maybe the answer is somewhere in between, like finding a way to work on myself without dragging her into it. Is it too much to ask for a society where we don’t measure attractiveness by looks alone? Anyway, if anyone has magic advice or just wants to share their two cents, I'm all ears.

Apologies if the category doesn’t fit. I couldn’t find a better one.

I just want to be liked. I don’t know if it’s just me being too in my head, but it feels like people only talk to me because I’m useful, entertaining, or they’re literally paid to do it.

I can’t have a conversation with my girlfriend without her venting her frustrations to me. I understand that she needs catharsis, and I want to be there for her, but I’m tired of doing it every conversation. I also can’t bring it up, though, because what if I’m just an asshole for thinking this?

And with my friends, I can’t talk about anything beyond surface level jokes. I don’t know if that’s just how friendships are, but I feel like it’s not actual friendship.

Beyond that, everyone in my life is literally paid to talk to me. I won’t go into detail for anonymity, but my family is out of the picture.

I just want to be seen. Genuinely. With no string attached. Which is probably why I’m here, lol. Thanks for reading.

I don’t want to live anymore.

I want to leave. I want to leave. I want to leave. I want to leave. I hate it here and I can’t handle this anymore. I have never been chosen. I’m always the last one to be picked. I always will be forever. I wasn’t the wanted daughter. I wasn’t the wanted friend. I wasn’t the wanted girlfriend. I wasn’t the wanted wife. I didn’t get to have my baby I wanted for years. Maybe that lady was right. I don’t deserve it. Or maybe it was just a sign, He couldn’t be my baby’s father. How dumb am can I be.? How many times can I handle this before it’s over? You lie to them. You smile to them. You act like nothing had happened. How can I look at you when all I see is her? You wanted her and you won’t tell me it. I don’t know what I want but answers. I feel myself losing trying to understand why. Why will I never be the one? Is it truly because I don’t love myself? Anytime I love myself I seem to not want anyone around. Maybe it’s not even love. I sometimes feel I can’t love, like I don’t even know what that feeling is. My dream is to be alone but I can’t stand sleeping by myself.

I’m 20. Male. No diagnosis. No meds. Not doing anything dangerous either, just kind of… existing, I guess?? I sleep way too much, but I’m still tired. I eat when I remember. I shower when I absolutely have to. Most days I wake up around noon, stare at the ceiling, then scroll until my phone gets too hot. I used to make plans. Now I cancel everything with the same excuse: "Sorry, not feeling it today." I'm polite about it. Always polite. But it’s a lie, right?? I don’t even know if I’m feeling anything.

I used to think I was just lazy. Like, I’ve always struggled with getting started on things—school projects, job applications, even just laundry. But lately, it’s more than that. I’ll sit down to do something, and my brain just… doesn’t. Like someone unplugged the part that makes me care. My dad says, “You need discipline.” My mom says, “Go outside more.” My friends say, “Just push through it, bro.” Okay, cool. But what if there’s nothing to push with?? What if the battery’s dead and the charger’s missing??

My room’s a mess. Not gross, just... piles of clothes and unopened mail and stuff I keep saying I’ll deal with “tomorrow.” I tell myself it’s fine. I mean, who am I bothering, right?? But every now and then I look around and it hits me—I’m stuck. Not rock bottom, not in crisis, just quietly stuck. Like that quote I saw once: “You’re not drowning. You’re just slowly sinking while smiling at everyone on the shore.” That’s kind of it. I still reply to texts. I still laugh at memes. I still say “I’m good, thanks” when someone asks how I’m doing. But am I?? I don’t know anymore!!!

It’s not all hopeless or dramatic. Some days I get a burst of energy out of nowhere and clean everything and even go for a walk or cook something decent. But it never lasts. It’s like a glitch in the system, not a fix. Then I’m back to lying in bed, scrolling through my camera roll from months ago, wondering why I looked happier in those pictures. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I just had better lighting. I’ve thought about therapy but I don’t feel “bad enough” to go. Isn’t that dumb?? Like I’m waiting for things to get worse before I ask for help??

So I guess I’m just wondering… am I lazy or depressed?? Is this what burnout looks like when you don’t even have a job yet?? I’m not trying to be dramatic. I know people have it way worse. I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or if anything’s wrong at all. Maybe I’m just weak. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I need to try harder. Or maybe I need to admit that something isn’t right. I honestly don’t know. If you’ve felt like this before, did it get better?? What helped?? I'm open to answers. Just trying to figure this out without breaking anything.

This morning, I had a weird feeling I can't really explain.

It started as how any usual day starts for me: excruciating mental pain. For the first half of the day, I thought I was done for, just like always. I remembered how much I was harassed and how ugly it got, and I thought I was gonna get found by the person who ultimately ruined my entire life in just one day. I'm pretty sure I said parts of what I can actually say in previous posts, but long story short I was completely done with my goals. I gave up, giving AI little of what was left of my creativity just to see if I can get that old spark back (which is a mistake, but I had zero resource and I was in a block).

Today, however, I felt something different after the second half of the day. I was scrolling through channels trying to crunch down another boring samey Sunday, until I landed on a movie about experiencing the joys of life. It ignited something on me; I looked around my living room, no shortage of something I'm good at: collecting Nintendo controllers specifically. In my living room alone, I found a cyan Wii Remote, a golden Classic Controller Pro, and my NSO 2 GameCube Controller. I looked at my trampoline and at all the free space in my house, and I thought about how much I love to run and exercise freely. I thought about my tastes in food and realized how unique they were--I might hate white condiments, but I love well-prepared anchovy pizza and pineapple pizza, I love drinking frozen matcha and eating loaded potato soup. I sat for a little longer and all of a sudden, I saw a vision of a character sitting beside me like if they were alive. Suddenly, I felt like I really wanted to go to the mall and let myself loose--find out what kinds of stores it had, how many stories, what where the anchors, what was at the food court, playing at a Dave & Busters, just overall letting myself loose and seeing the very appealing design that was the inside of a mall. This interest wasn't just an obligation to keep me stimulated; it was an actual call to return to my old self. I saw the similarities between my favorite (drawing) artists, and I stopped feeling anxious, even if some of these still make me go WTF. I acknowledged that despite their damning similarities, they each bring something new to the table and keeping me to innovate and do the same: follow the same footsteps but bring something new to the table. I even felt like coming up with a plan to start over with my art, presumably just in time for next year's ArtFight.

There's one problem though. I've had similar breakthroughs before, and I don't know how to keep the newfound spark. I'm enrolled in some coding classes that really frustrated me and completely broke on me and I'm pretty sure I failed the assignment because it's past the deadline and the whole program was straight up broken in the professor's end. It got me super mad, and it even blocked my creativity. My spark can easily just disappear.

So I have a question: what would you guys do to keep the spark alive? I do indeed have a plan to redefine what my creativity truly means, but what if more frustrating coding assignments ruin everything for this spark and leave me right where I got started once again?

I'm a 31-year-old male and lately I've been wondering something that sounds almost counterintuitive… is it actually possible to exercise too much? I know it sounds odd—especially in a world where people are generally advised to move more, not less—but I'm starting to feel like my daily regimen is doing more harm than good. My schedule is rigid: weightlifting five days a week, high-intensity interval training three times, and long runs on the weekends. It sounds healthy, maybe even admirable to some, but my body doesn’t feel proud. It feels wrecked. My sleep is erratic, my resting heart rate is elevated, and sometimes, I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. I follow strict macro tracking and ensure hydration and supplementation are on point, yet recovery seems perpetually just out of reach. Isn't that a red flag???

There’s this constant soreness, not the good kind—the kind that doesn’t scream progress but whispers that something might be off. I’ve read and heard about “overtraining syndrome,” a state of chronic fatigue, declining performance, and increased risk of injury. I’m not saying I’ve hit that wall completely, but I do see the signs. My strength gains have plateaued, and in some cases, regressed. My joints ache. My motivation? Fading. There’s no joy anymore in pushing through sets; just obligation. It’s become less about well-being and more about control—about not missing a session out of fear I’ll lose progress. That doesn’t sound like health to me, yet I keep doing it because stopping feels worse. And the question keeps bouncing around in my head like an echo: how much is too much???

Socially, I’m becoming isolated. My friends stopped inviting me to things because they already know the answer: “I have training.” It’s almost embarrassing, the way I’ve structured my life around a routine that’s supposed to make me feel better, stronger, more resilient—but instead, it’s starting to feel like a form of self-imposed imprisonment. And I still can’t tell if I’m doing the right thing! Every time I consider taking a rest week, anxiety hits. What if I lose strength? What if I fall behind? What if I just become… average? I know that sounds dramatic, but when you invest so much time and energy into one goal, the thought of stepping away, even briefly, feels like failure. Still, I ask myself—am I really getting healthier, or am I chasing a standard that doesn’t even exist???

I’ve tried to talk to a few people about this but it’s hard to articulate without sounding weak or obsessive. Fitness is praised in every corner of life now. People admire discipline and grind and consistency. But what happens when those same things become destructive? Can you tell the difference? I can’t anymore. My life looks optimal on the outside, but it’s brittle on the inside. And maybe that’s what worries me most. I used to feel pride in what I was building. Now I feel trapped by it. Have you ever felt that way—like your own habits have turned on you? Like something you loved has started to betray you? I’m not looking for pity, just maybe a perspective. A reality check. Something to help me understand if I’m just burned out or if I’m genuinely hurting myself long-term; because I really can’t tell anymore.