Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 5

Until you have seen me touch me hear me speak to you in person all your fcking questions and doubts will just be forever doubts. Stop making up stories and move on with your fcking life. I don't wanna be involved with someone who doesn't trust my whole existence.fckijg ass.

Being 27 and having always admired my older brother, who has built a remarkable career, it’s hard to see him struggle to find motivation at work. He's always been the overachiever, the one with the Midas touch in the corporate world. But lately, he seems to have hit a plateau, and it's tearing him apart. He used to love his work, thrived on the challenges that came with being a senior VP at a major tech firm, and could always see the "bigger picture." But now, it’s almost as if he’s lost his "vision board." I'm genuinely at a loss trying to figure out how to motivate him, and I find myself questioning, have I ever been truly motivational myself? 🤔

I've always believed motivation is like that surge of adrenaline that propels you forward. However, it seems my brother has overdosed on it in the past, and now his reserves are empty. Should I remind him of the countless TED Talks we've watched, where experts such as Simon Sinek emphasize the importance of "starting with why"? Would that work, or is it too clichéd? I can't help but wonder what his "why" might be right now. Sharing personal stories can occasionally spark motivation, but whenever I start reminiscing about the days he would narrate how he closed million-dollar deals, he cringes. The memory probably feels like a distant dream. It makes me ponder, can we still ignite the same fire with mere recollections?

"Communication is key" is a phrase that rings in my head, akin to a mantra. But every time I attempt to broach this sensitive subject, he shrugs it off with a dismissive wave and changes the topic to movies or politics. It's puzzling because this isn't the brother I grew up looking up to; he wasn’t one to shy away from hard conversations. I once read in an article by Harvard Business Review that a supportive environment and professional coach could restore dwindling motivation, but suggesting that feels like walking on eggshells. How do you recommend such resources without making it seem like you’re overstepping? Do I suggest books instead? 📚

Perhaps the work-life balance equation needs reevaluating. My brother's career has been marked by unwavering dedication, sometimes at the cost of personal time. I recall instances where family get-togethers were subtly interrupted by work calls, and he pulled away into another room under the guise of "just one email." Reflecting on this makes me question, could this lack of personal downtime have compounded into a formidable barrier against motivation? Recent trends in workplace culture advocate for "mental health" days, and maybe I should encourage him to explore that avenue. But does one just "push pause" on responsibilities without feeling a sense of guilt or abandonment?

In facing such challenges, asking for advice seems natural, yet solutions aren't always clear-cut. Everyone has moments when motivation evaporates like a benign cloud on a breezy day; it’s just my brother hasn't experienced this before. I’ve read countless anecdotes of people who found their zest by exploring new hobbies or volunteering. Perhaps motivating others starts with oneself; sometimes, it’s all about nurturing an intrinsic motivation that circumvents external validation. As I endeavor to support him, I can't help but introspect — am I helping him unveil a hidden facet of his potential, or merely trying to reignite a spark that should burn of its own accord? So, dear reader, any thoughts on how you might navigate this delicate terrain of motivating someone who once knew no limits???

Huh I knew it they are watching me whatever I post here they are reading it 🙄🙄🙄

Talk to me I know you want to talk to me tell me how u feel coz it felt like I'm under someone's wing except it has its good side and bad side lol but hey thanks for the good side I guess

What do men even want in a woman? Seriously?? I’m 33 now and honestly, I’m tired of trying to figure it out. I’ve been polite, patient, understanding, supportive… and still I get ghosted, cheated on, or told “you’re amazing, but I’m not ready.” I’m not trying to be dramatic, I swear, but how many versions of myself do I need to become before one of them is finally enough? I’m not saying I’m perfect—far from it—but I’ve put in the effort. I communicate clearly, I listen, I compromise. And every time, it still falls apart without warning. I get left standing there like, okay… what was I missing this time?

Some of these men said they wanted “a woman who has her life together.” Cool. I’ve got a good job, a decent apartment, hobbies, close friends, and a stable routine. Guess what? Then I’m “too independent” or “intimidating.” One said it felt like I didn’t need him. Isn’t that the point? To want someone, not need them? Others said they wanted kindness, softness, warmth. I gave that. I gave so much of it that I started losing pieces of myself trying to keep them comfortable. Then they’d just… fade out, like it was all too easy. Do men want chaos? Do they want to fix something? Because apparently being emotionally stable isn’t sexy unless you’ve got some sort of crisis attached.

I tried asking. Literally. I’ve sat across from a guy, calmly asking him what went wrong, what he was looking for, what I could’ve done better. You know what I got? “It’s not you, it’s me.” Classic. Useless. Vague. Like he downloaded that line straight out of a break-up simulator. I’ve had exes come back later, saying they messed up, they didn’t realize what they had. But at that point I’ve already done the work to move on. I’m not anyone’s checkpoint on their way to emotional maturity. It feels like no matter how good or balanced I try to be, it’s never the right time, never the right me. I’m seriously starting to wonder if there’s even a version of a woman that actually fits what they want;

I’ve heard men complain about being used, being lied to, being pressured. I get it, truly. Relationships are hard on everyone. But when you show up with honesty and care and still get dismissed like a failed audition, it’s hard not to get cynical. I’m tired of being told I’m “too much” when I show real feelings and “not enough” when I hold back. It’s like there’s some imaginary Goldilocks zone I’ve never been able to reach. So I’m asking—genuinely—what do men want in a woman? Because if it’s not emotional stability, self-sufficiency, loyalty, and clear communication… then what the hell is it?

I’m not angry, just… done pretending this makes sense. If you’re a guy reading this, and you’ve ever broken up with someone like me and couldn’t explain why—do you even know? I’d love to believe it’s not all just about looks or ego or timing, but damn, it’s starting to feel that way. I’ll keep being polite, kind, respectful. That’s who I am. But I’ve stopped bending. I won’t become a puzzle piece just to fit into someone else’s picture. Thanks for listening to this rant. Honestly, I just needed to say it out loud.

i've been feeling all sorts of confused lately. like, I don't know who I am anymore? it's like my identity is all jumbled up, and I can't sort it out. at 24, you'd think I'd have a clearer picture of myself, you know? but nope, here I am, second-guessing every little thing about myself. it's funny, isn't it? we spend all this time growing up and then realize we still have no clue what we're doing. just trying to navigate life with some semblance of purpose 😂;

i guess part of it is the pressure of trying to fit into the mold of what a 24-year-old "should" be. I've got friends who seem to have it all figured out. they know what career they want, where they want to live, and even who they want to spend their life with. and here i am, just... floating? it's like treading water, trying to find something to hold onto. it's not that i'm unhappy or anything. but sometimes, it feels like i'm just playing pretend in this 'grown-up' world. who else has this never-ending identity crisis?!

the weirdest part is how it flips so quickly. one minute, i'm all sorted and confident. the next, i'm questioning everything from my job to my weird taste in music. am i the only one who feels like their personality just never settles? it's like, i'm always trying to catch up with myself. maybe it's just part of the journey, finding bits and pieces until everything finally falls into place. maybe the whole point is in the mix of it all. do you ever feel like life is just a series of random self-discoveries?

anyway, i'm beginning to realize it's okay to change, to not have everything figured out. nobody's got it all together, even if it seems like they do. maybe part of me knowing who i am is accepting the uncertainty and rolling with it. even when it feels like chaos, there's a kind of peace in embracing that chaos, if that makes any sense. i'm just gonna keep going, exploring the parts of myself that make me, well... me. after all, life's too short to worry too much, right?! who knows where this rocky road of self-discovery will lead, but I gotta admit, there's something exciting about not knowing.

So it's summer and the past few school year i have been really burnt out. I got very little sleep, I could barely get out bed i was often overwhelmed and stressed out and i didn't know what to do. There are so many things I want to do this summer with the base line of wanting to improve myself and get out of burnt out. But i didn't really know how to do that. Still don't tbh. So i tried to put some good habits in my routine (waking up naturaly, no screens untill after breakfast, going to bed at around 23 or so, having breakfast outside.) And in the last few days i tried to slowly add a few more like reaching my step count and reading just a few pages before bed. And a i tried 'studying' the pages i've read (basically like i would've If It was school material) and It was actually pretty relaxing + i found It interessing and i wanted to. But somedays, like today i didn't do anything in particular. My sleep Is getting troubled again and i've been going to bed a little later and waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep and Just feeling really panicky and anxious and barely being able to breathe. Like right now. It's 7:45 am and i can't go back sleep. I'm tired and sleepy, everything feels upsetting and too much even going back to sleep Is too hard, i'm too restless and anxious. But i don't know what to do about It. It just feels so horrible because I felt like this, this tired, this stuck, this horrible and anxious for years now. Around 5 year specifically. During and outside school time. And i was getting excited because I thought that It was finally over that this was finally It and that I was finally making progress but i am not. I'm still waking up like this and crying in the middle of the night and i this feel just as bad and i Just feel so stupid because i don't know what Is wrong with me. I've told to talk about, with a loved one maybe, preferably with a professional. I can't quite do either. I tried bringing It up to loved one but they shot me down before i could even finish. And just blamed It on my period. (This happened years ago btw) For the record, This has been going on everyday for 5 years. I know It's not my period. And i'm scared that If i insist It and at the very try to explain the problem will spark an arguement. Or that they'll use It against me. (I'm sure they will.) + Honestly i think they'll just say "It's Just the weather" or "you're too young to have these problems." Like yeah. Cool. I know. How the f. do i solve It then. Help me for f sake. Anyway. As for talking to a professional, that might even be harder. Cause i doubt i could find said professional in the first place. I did try once. I found a therapist that was doing extra hours at my school for some extra money. I brought It up to her. Multiple times. Tried explaining It as clearly as i could. But she Just dismissed It. And It was clear she didn't care. There might. MIGHT be a chance i could maybe find someone else? Somehow. But i doubt i will. I'll try at least. But i'm not sure. I don't see It happening. I'm so tired of this. It's been going on for too long. I just want to feel normal again. Everything Is too much, too tiring, too loud, too bright, too early. And i honestly lost any real enjoyment in everything. Even in things I liked. I can barely sleep right at night cause i either wake up like this or have a lot of nightmares during the night. I've read that sometimes It's about figuring out if you're being true yourself ig? Like if you're actually doing what you really wanted to. If you're actually fullfilling you're 'true desires' and sticking with your values and what truly matters TO YOU or whatever. honestly. Right now? Of the top of my head? No. I'm not. This isn't the school i wanted to go to. This isn't what i wanted to do. This isn't what i wanted to study. And i lie to my family about my true 'goals' after i'm done with school bc i know they'll judge and won't approve. I'm ok-ish in this. But i don't really like It. I didn't really want to do this. And i consired changing multiple times. But It's too late now. So i just gotta finish It. Tbh, i knew i would hate this and regret this when i started years ago. But It's what my family wanted me to do. And i couldn't bring myself to say no. I'm not saying that If I was in another school everything would have been different and miraculously i would've been cured. Maybe i would've hated It too. Maybe i would've felt just as bad there. But at least it would've been my choice. Or maybe i'm Just stupid and all this Is useless. Idk. I Just want to feel better.

It's a bit stupid. And problably not the kind of thing to put here but i need advice and don't know where to ask It+ i Just need to get this out of my head in general. Context: So i met this person on an anonimous site a few weeks ago and they were really nice and they gave me their penpalling email in case i wanted to write them again. I did and we started writing. I tried to write about every four days (cause i swamped with exams) and they wrote back every 2-3 days or so. The last two mails i send how ever were a bit late but bc i was very busy and not feeling well + i wanted the mails to be good and i usually take 2 days to write them and revise them. It's been over 17 days and they still haven't answer my last mail :( , i've been thinking of writing them another mail, at least to make sure they recived It and maybe use some excuse like something to show them or whatever. idk if i should write them again or not though, i wouldn't want to see annoying or pushy about It. I'm also not sure If maybe they haven't answered bc i wrote something wrong ( i re-read It many times and i don't think there was anything wrong with It? I talked about my Plan and my interests like we both usually do + answered their questions and asked some of my own. I revised It a lot and i think It's ok) maybe bc my message was boring and they just got tired, or maybe i didn't ask enough questions? Or maybe they haven't recived It at all?? Or maybe It's completly normal and i'm just being paranoid. Idk.

Why is my laptop being weird 😔 it's like someone is watching me I'm just scared that they might do something stupid it's like they just wanna see me like wth and and am I just paranoid but why do they wanna see me and do stupid sht to my laptop but whenever I double check they dont do anything it's like they just want to watch me talk on cam. Ugghhhhhhh.

Im turning 20 this year

Honestly I dont know what or how to write this but I feel so heavy and frustrated and confused and what not… I don’t feel I live in the present times

All I think about is of the future… i was 8 when I decided i wanna be in the medicine field, today at 20 after giving my entrance exam two years in a row i dont feel that Ive achieved it. I dont come from a very rich family but they have never let me felt that way, my parents even though I didn’t score well were never bad towards me, they supported me even though they dont know anything about this field Im in … my brother is my inspiration of hardwork

But lets talk about me.. i dont know who to go to who to contact who to talk or ask

My family supports me but there’s a thing called being happy and proud of yourself… ive never felt Ive fulfilled myself

Sometimes I just imagine the best conversation in my mind before even talking to someone. I worry people may get hurt people may find me rude or dumb and I just want to be happy again

Happy as I was when I was a kid

I was an extrovert and topped my classes

But now I just lag. My interest weakens when I fail I feel. I dont know if this is gonna help me because as soon as I post this and close this site… it’s all gonna still be there in the back of my mind

I think I need help but I don't even want to. But at the end of the day I know that I am not the one to give up…atleast I have a family who loves me and god always has a plan

But sometimes

It gets heavy

And I can’t cry because im just not able to…. Gosh someone teach me how to cry so atleast these emotions get away

Even for just a while… but I know it’s gonna be back

I want to break free.

I'm 13 and I have had anxiety for as long as i can remember, but it was never extremely bad. But lately (the past 2 weeks) its been really bad. I have been waking up in the middle of the night sweating extremly hard, I had panick attacks alot to, and i'm sick of it. I am seeing therapist for over 4 years, and he helped me alot up until now. Can somebody please help?

I’m with you physically, but your with her lovingly

Why? Why does it hurt? This feeling…..is it heartbreak?, sadness? No. its rejection. I was with you then, bought you food, sponsored your bike rental at burnham, I don’t know why I was suddenly generous, but…when I saw you for the first time, ….i felt….weird. Your eyes were the first thing I noticed, hazel brown….with the light shining back at me. I….was mesmerized. Then your body…lean but not too much, muscles perfectly exaggerated with your tight shirt ,perfect pecks. Its too much….yet I cant look away.. Your voice, deep but soft. With every word you spoke, It felt as if I was back in my elementary days....so focused on what you were saying…

Days pass….we get close, and I still have yet to understand this feeling, I know it though…..love, affection, attraction… but is it really? I cant handle it….fighting the urge to just…wrap you in my arms. And be with you till you leave, why? Why is it so hard to describe? Is it love? Is it affection? Or simple attraction? Why is it that when I think of you my heart skips a beat? WHY…

We talk more, I learn more.

I learned you liked someone…someone I know….whom I stand no chance with. It hurts, I still don’t know WHY. Why is it that I feel different around you, why is it that whenever we talk…I get pulled in and the small talk turns to a full on conversation. So many questions… about what? Obvious affection? a simple crush? …is it more than that?

I hate this feeling, my chest…hurts as if someone died..

When we sat alone in that stage, I felt bliss..happy just to be with you. I didn’t care how many people were staring, I just wanted to be with you….but…I guess you had other plans.

When I was ranting to you then, you listened. You cared.

When we were chatting on messenger a while ago I was just asking if you had my umbrella…I left it the night before, from volleyball practice. You said no and continued to say “huh sorry but I hadn’t taken an umbrella” you then proceed to send a photo with the caption “this Is the only thing I got”. I was confused, what did he get that he had to tell me….the I opened it….two hands intertwined, yours and…..a girls hand?

My heart dropped

We are currently long distance as she had to move back home to take care of her sick mother. Two days ago, she suddenly began experiencing severe pains. At first, she thought it was particularly bad menstruation cramps and gas. It has continued getting worse, so it is clearly not normal. She's miserable, she can barely get out of bed. I've been begging her to ask her uncle to take her either to a doctor or hospital. She is against this idea, as she doesn't have a lot of money and will only go if she thinks she is dying. I think that whatever this is may well be that serious, but I can't convince her of that. I've promised her I would pay the bill myself, it doesn't matter. She's just not willing, at least not yet. I don't know how bad it will have to be.

I am scared. My mother was similarly stubborn about getting medical help, and it led to her dying from a lung infection that became sepsis. I watched my die on a ventilator because of something a few antibiotics would've solved if she had been treated before. I don't want something like that to happen to my girlfriend. She's the love of my life, the thought of her sick is troubling enough but I am scared she's going to die. She is in terrible pain. She says she's never been in this much pain before.

I don't know how to get her help. Her mother has also been encouraging her to see a doctor. She is as worried as I am.

I could count on one hand the amount I cried in my entire adult life, until this. I'm scared and I know she is too. I feel terrible that I'm not there for her, but due to a stupid drug related offense on my record from a decade ago, I cannot travel to her country.

I'm not religious but I've been praying. I don't even know what I'm praying to. I just want her to be okay. I want to see her smile again. I want to give her a hug. I hate that she's suffering like this. I hate that I can't change her mind.

The thought of something happening to her makes me sick.

I'm struggling to get over a guy named Prasoon. Even though some time has passed, I still find myself thinking about him. There's a song, "Shaky Shaky," that he once told me about. Every time I hear it, I'm transported back to the feelings I had when he first shared it with me and during our conversations.

Our relationship had its ups and downs. Eventually, he expressed a desire to live a "straight life," believing that being gay wasn't good for his mental health. Hearing this was a setback for me, and it made me reluctant to pursue him further. However, despite everything, I can't shake the feeling that we belong together. These thoughts constantly resurface and I can't seem to get past them.

One day, after a brief conversation, I asked him to cut off contact, and he agreed. Later, I asked him if he wanted to see me again, and he gave a clear "no."

Now, I'm at a loss about what to do with these persistent feelings of missing him. I wonder if it's just my hormones dictating these emotions, as Prasoon suggested

This might sound a bit silly but really, I kinda need help combating with these weird thoughts

I’ve vented here before, and I really appreciated the support and perspectives others shared. But there’s something I brushed off before, as that was not the central topic of the previous vent and it wasn’t a big enough problem, until it started eating me today, and it’s become hard to ignore

I want to draw more than anything in the whole world. I’ve been drawing for 8 years, starting from the simple concept of a cube to a whole world of anthro animals/inanimates, silly creatures, all fantasy related, even evolving my old characters. From wolf-folk to living game controllers, it’s like a modern fantasy world, just like drawing was to me! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find myself drawing after having a lot of hardships, but after all the support I received recently, and even regaining access to Discord, I might give it a shot again, hell I would LOVE to try it again, but there’s something deeper blocking me: my envy…

Ever since 2020, I’ve started looking up to niche artists online—ones who draw stylized, humanoid non-human characters (anthros and such) with this barely-explainable aesthetic (Five-fingers, making it premium. They’re like exactly human characters but with the most notable parts of the item/animal, but there’s no valid name for it I could find, and it’s not furry and I ain’t one.) By the start of 2023, however, I noticed something weird about each new artist I became obsessed with, almost like a pattern but on different communities and social medias, and it’s not exactly what I asked each artist I admired to have and stuff that almost seemed to either taunt me or I just don’t know that it is an aesthetic that exists. Poetic blood in art, cigar(ettes), dangling shoes, the same obsessions in the same indie games, same online communities, same aesthetic. They even behaved in two ways: Overly cutesy and giddy, or kinda assholish and deadpan. The latest artist I started admiring checked all the boxes in a week, then today they revealed that not only are they obsessed with the same game, but also with the character that one of my favorite “niche” online artists designed. It almost feels like it’s not a coincidence coincidence and not inspiration or a neat fact. It suffocates me.

I tried emulating these kinds of artists for a long time, still having a subpar art style that tries to emulate the magic of those artists, but it always fails in several aspects, including the pose I want to strike. I am not motivated to draw, despite how much my heart tells me to. I’ve tried filling every similarity box while also bringing slight nerdism on technology and being nice to others. Why am I not having a proper consistent niche then? I’ve been forced to restart TWICE, not getting any better and always ending in failure. I want to be friends with those artists too, but I can’t get into their indie interests, let alone even talk to them normally just to be friends. I have met a few, and the closest to a friend would be one artist I commissioned twice. They offered me a Toyhouse code, but I just don’t know how to go about being publicly online. What if I screw up as bad as previously? It makes me so anxious. I want to have my own niche fandom, and I want to be nice to others, but others treat me like shit and attempt to drive me off the internet by spreading rumors about me and even grooming me.

Now, I have questions for you guys.

1. What would you do if you were me?

2. Have you guys ever felt the same weird connection between people you admire? If so:

a. Do you think it’s weird?

b. Do you feel more jealousy than admiration?