Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 2

ok so basically i have this friend lets call her Elsie and we have been friends for 7 years and in drama we were partners and she also does acting classes outside of school and she thinks that she knows better when she doesn’t and she is bringing the stuff she learnt from her acting classes into drama at school and its ruining our friendship and our friendship group. So basically one of Elsie and I’s school building burnt down so we are having online school and we just had a drama call and she went behind my back and said to our teacher she wanted to be with somebody new and we have been over it before a couple of days ago where she started berating me in public and not only was our friend with us but also two girls from our drama class who aren’t our friends and when i told her to stop she didn’t and just said and i quote “these are your consequences, so deal with them when it wasn’t even my fault because the original group we were with weren’t at school most of the time and only showed up to one lesson so miss told us to just do a scene us to from midsummers night dream, and she was all moody about it that whole lesson at me i might add for something that wasn’t my fault. And i explained my feelings about the interaction and i said it politely and nicely i said and i quote “Hey elsie I am sorta mad and upset about what happened today it was also embarrassing and humiliating can u pls not do it next time” and she responded with excuses and i will quote what she said as a reply “I get that today was embarrassing for you. I just wanted to say that certain situations in class really impact me and stress me out.” I then proceeded to call her and she didn’t pick up and was sorta avoiding me she then responded to my calls over text and the text said “And rn calls stress out a lot” i then replied with “ Sorry I didn't mean to bombard u it was embarrassing and I can't choose anyone else because nobody would want me so u are the only safe option for me” i then responded with “ I do love working with you but it requires a lot of my mental health and Because under too much stress I can faint actually due to my cptsd freeze mode“ then today after i explained my feelings she goes and tells miss she wants to change groups and be with a new person. And i get i can’t stop her but it hurt and i complain to my friend who’s next to me and she takes my side. but when i message my group chat and tell them my other friend Kate takes Elsie’s side and reply’s to my ranting/venting with this long as paragraph about how i am in the wrong and she says “ look, I’m considering both your perspectives and I understand but the remaining factor is that Elsie feels that it’s time to change partners, and have you considered that she may be moody because you were treating her like your only “safe” option (basically undermining her) and that if she wants to work with someone else, it is not your right to be upset at her for that because it is her decision you have to respect at the end of the day. Telling her to stay with you because no one else would pick you is the wrong way to go about this whole thing because I know it makes Elsie feel less important and Elsie told me that friendships shouldn’t be involved in school work and I agree with her because that’s what started this whole thing in the first place. If you’re upset at her for being moody while you guys were partners, then why are you still insisting on staying together? She has been considering your feelings and I get that this is hard for you but it’s your turn to consider hers. i just don’t understand if you’re so annoyed at her acting like that why would you want her as a partner anyway.” And i haven’t responded cause i am still pissed off and really hurt because i have considered her feelings and i have talked about my feelings and they haven’t considered how i am feeling and why i am so hurt. Like if i was in Elsie’s spot i would have done it for her and stayed with her because if i wanted to work with someone else i would understand why she would want to be with me and i wouldn’t let her work alone or with someone else who she doesn’t know and it feels like she doesn’t care about my feelings or perspective and kate clearly isn’t seeing both perspectives and I am genuinely confused about how i am undermining my friend and i am so done cause this isn’t the first time Elsie’s got mad at me for no reason.

I've had multiple close friends before. and we always break up because of me somehow.

here was one time me and two of my close friends were studying. one of them said she dreamt of me dancing, naked. I thought it was hilarious. but when we went to class the next day, mind you, I'm only close to those two I heard everybody laughing at the back and I heard someone laugh out loud talking about my naked body. at that time I was sitting alone to study the other two talking with others. literally the whole class was talking about my naked body I was offended I didn't want to talk to them anymore and blablabla. but they say that im heartless because they cried and said sorry but I won't forgive them

the next one I had another close friend. she accused me of ruining her project then said something that was totally out of her character that really hurt me because she would never say anything like that before. I had this one art book of mine she's also a talented artist so she likes to paint my drawing because she mostly does digital. I would lend her the book so she could color it. I NEVER once asked her myself to paint it but I let her since she wanted to. but then when we fought she ripped all of my drawing which I spent hours on because she said I she colored them so she has a right to take it without compromising with me first. then I cried because all of my hard work was gone just like that. she said I don't deserve to cry and that she's the one who's supposed to be crying

then another one, I started talking to her because she looked lonely then we became close obviously I would share my personal stuff with her but then she told people that I was after her money. the thing is she's never even bought me anything. and I'm the type of person that never asks anyone to pay for me infact I would pay for them. and she's not even that rich.

so is it really my fault, like maybe I'm misunderstanding things or like maybe I'm too sensitive? because everyone seems to think that I'm in the wrong.. there's more actually but I'm not gonna write all my experience am I haha😅

so I've been married for almost 10 years now, and it's been an awesome journey with my wife; she's my rock, my partner, the mother of my kids. but here's the thing...and pardon my frankness...sexually, she's just not as interested as me. and for me, it's hard, man. real hard. I'm always down for it, but she's just not feeling it most of the time. it's not like there's something wrong with her or anything, people just have different drives. but yeah, it's a bit challenging to manage on my end.

there are days (more often than I'd like to admit) where the desire just takes over and it's like, what do I even do with all this? can't just turn it off, you know? and trust me, I don't want to pressure her into something she's not in the mood for; that's not cool at all, and I respect her wishes. so, I end up stuck with this overflowing energy and nowhere to put it. sure, there are other ways to handle it, but sometimes those don't even cut it. you'd think after almost a decade of being married, I'd have a handle on this by now, right? well, surprises keep coming.

it makes me wonder if there's a secret menu or cheat code to dial down one's desire when the other person isn't on the same page? like, where's the manual for this stuff??? we've tried talking about it, but it's still a work in progress. don't misinterpret, it's not always like this, sometimes we sync perfectly, and it's magic. but other times, it's a real head-scratcher. the thought crosses my mind: am I just overthinking it? or do I need a new strategy?

the bright side, though, is that we're constantly learning and evolving; relationships are dynamic, after all. maybe it's just about finding that sweet spot where we both feel happy and satisfied, in every sense of the word. i'm staying hopeful and keeping it positive. how do you guys handle similar situations? buffering desires and keeping the peace are all part of the package, huh? 😅 any tips or insights would be golden!

I had a big fight with my boyfriend that almost led to a breakup. We ended up talking it through and decided to get back together.

Since then, though, it has triggered my abandonment wound. I feel scared that he might leave again, and whenever we argue, my mind immediately goes into that fear. I start thinking he will leave me all over again.

I don’t know how to fix this. I’m honestly afraid to talk about it because of that same abandonment fear. I worry that bringing it up might push him away or make him leave. I feel stuck and unsure how to sort this out.

I'll be travelling for the very first time for work in less than two weeks. I'm feeling excited but at the same time I know myself and deep down I'm kinda worried about eating food that I don't like at all or staying in a hotel room that's not cozy at all.

Maybe I need to just enjoy the trip and be really flexible with my style of life

[Translated from French. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

So it all started a year ago when I met my ex-boyfriend online. We started going out after only a few days and became a long-distance couple. At first everything was going well, but at around 6 months into the relationship, he started talking to me about sex, which I wasn’t against, but it was kind of at the limit of what felt reasonable. Then things sped up until we were sending pictures and calling each other on video.

Later on I met some friends, but you should know my ex was very obsessed with me and manipulative and controlling. So I wasn’t allowed to wear what I wanted or have guy friends, and the friends I had met were a big group of guys. In that group there was one boy, pretty ordinary and nerdy, geeky, who didn’t stand out, and I fell in love with him.

So one night I decided to leave my ex by blocking him everywhere without any explanation, and that’s how I ended up single. With my friends we had so much fun, we were a big group, but we also had a smaller group of 4: two girls including me, and two boys including the boy I like. But he was a friend before anything else. We got closer, and I told my friends who the boy I liked was, but at the same time I got closer to that boy and realized it was better to have him as a friend and nothing more, because he was still another toxic guy who was better kept only as a friend.

Especially because he had gotten more popular since we became friends, and he liked another girl. He had even told me about it, but that girl is not good. Like I said, I had told my friends who I liked, and two of them wanted to help me. One of them sent a message to the boy saying the girl he liked was bad and that he knew a girl who liked him and was better.

Then that same evening I call this boy, who is my friend, and we talk normally. Then he tells me that this friend had talked to him, but what I didn’t know is that he had told him to join a call where he would say who the girl who liked him was.

After the call, I send a message to the two boys telling them I’m against the idea of telling him, and they defend themselves and then say they’re going to call him to convince him not to like the girl he likes. A bit later they send me a message saying he made a list of 4 girls he didn’t want to date, and I was in it. So then my two friends tell me they can tell him now because I have nothing left to lose. So they tell him, and his reaction is to say “ohh” in a disappointed way after finding that out, and then he said it would’ve been better if he hadn’t known.

Then the two boys admit to me that they knew from the start it would never work and that it was just entertainment. And then they added me to the group with the boy and called me again, again just for entertainment, and I didn’t join. So there you go, I’m mad at them, but at the same time they’re my friends. And I’d like to have a conversation with the boy because I want us to stay friends, but I haven’t talked to them anymore since then.

Oh and also, a little before that, I unblocked my ex because I felt bad, and also my two former best friends. But my ex wanted to get back together with me while I only wanted sex, and I’m tired of men. I feel like I want to be loved but I don’t want to be in a relationship. I want flirting, but I don’t want the guy to not be only mine. I like it when they’re obsessed, but at the same time it annoys me.

I don’t know how to find what I want and someone who agrees with it.

So yeah, if you read all the way to here, I’m grateful, and if you have any advice I’d be happy to hear it.

i am 34 and i am a woman who has been through enough cycles of disappointment to recognize the pattern without romanticizing it. past relationships followed the same workflow, initial alignment, rising expectations, emotional debt, and then a slow system failure that left me managing the fallout alone. i recently finalized a divorce, which sounds clinical but felt like a long decommissioning process, shutting down shared assets, shared routines, shared hope. people tell me i should feel relief, and i do, in a measured way, like checking a dashboard and seeing no more critical alerts. still, the historical data matters, and it shapes my risk tolerance when it comes to feelings.

now there is this new guy, and the situation does not match my previous models. he communicates clearly, respects boundaries, and shows consistent behavior over time, which in relationship terms feels like stable infrastructure. i am not used to that. my nervous system keeps running old scripts, scanning for hidden costs, waiting for a sudden outage. happiness feels unfamiliar, almost like a foreign interface with no manual. i notice myself doing emotional forecasting, assuming loss before gain, trying to control outcomes instead of experiencing them. it is strange how calm kindness can feel louder than chaos, and how silence without tension can make me uneasy 🙂

i try to stay objective and observe what is happening without judgment. from a behavioral standpoint, this is a healthy dynamic, low volatility, high trust, good long term indicators. yet my internal compliance department keeps flagging it as suspicious. years of bad relationships trained me to equate intensity with value and conflict with connection. now there is space, and i do not know how to fill it without breaking something. part of me wants to self sabotage just to return to familiar ground; it feels safer to manage pain i know than to invest in joy i do not fully understand.

i am learning that happiness does not always arrive with fireworks, sometimes it shows up as reliability and shared planning. i am trying to reframe this phase as a pilot program rather than a final launch, gathering data, allowing small wins. fear does not mean something is wrong, it might mean something is different. i keep asking myself, and maybe you too, what if being happy is not a trap but a skill that can be learned? i do not have the answer yet, but i am willing to stay curious and see where this goes, because growth often starts exactly at the point where comfort ends.

I still feel like I need my anti depressant but my family wants me to get off of it because they claim its toxic to me and messing with my mind. When I was off of it I had horrible thoughts like hurting friends in violent ways, starving myself, running away hoping some shady person would kill me ect. They all say I seem like I feel okay but I hide my emotions I rarely let on when I am upset or anything and have a hard time expressing my emotions anyway

I just an account of females in my husband IG. I just thought to myself If I kept single over all the years I wont be this i secure or bothered. My doctor is right when she told me to keep myself single until I haven't resolved my trauma.

As a nice treat fro myself I've managed to save enough up to reapir and repaint my wheels as they had been beaten by previous owner, 2 days after got all wheel finally done and doing it all my self and money spent on the sanding and painting of the rims and new tyres. I drove down a tight street and trying to avoid another person ended up slowly scraping the curb, so now one of my brand new wheels which I managed to just save up for it ones again scuffed

I’m 41, a woman, married for a long time, and last week I cheated on my husband!! I’m writing this here because it’s anonymous and because I don’t know where else to put it!!! I keep replaying it like it was something that happened to someone else, like a bad scene in a show I didn’t mean to watch?? People talk about “midlife crises” like it’s a punchline, or they say stuff like “women my age just want to feel seen,” and I nod along even though none of that explains anything to me!!! I wasn’t unhappy in any dramatic way, nothing was on fire, nothing was missing in some obvious checklist sense!! We have routines, we have history, we have a shared calendar, a shared mortgage, shared jokes that aren’t funny anymore but still comforting!!! And then I stepped outside of all that for one night and now I’m here, typing, wondering how someone can act so out of character without realizing it until after?? Is that how it always happens, or is this just me rationalizing?? I don’t feel proud, I don’t feel thrilled, I don’t even feel especially guilty in the movie-version way people describe, I mostly feel confused and flat and observant of myself like a case study!!

I keep asking myself why, like there’s supposed to be a neat answer hiding somewhere!! Was it boredom?? Validation?? Opportunity?? I’ve read posts where people say “it just happened,” which sounds fake until you’re the one saying it out loud!!! I don’t recognize the version of me who said yes so easily, who didn’t stop to think about consequences in the way I usually do, who didn’t imagine my husband’s face or our life or the logistics of betrayal?? The weird part is how normal everything looked from the outside, I went to work, I made dinner, I laughed at something dumb on TV, and no one noticed anything different!!! There’s a quote I keep thinking about, something like “we are not who we think we are, we are who we do,” and that feels uncomfortably accurate right now!! I’m not spiraling, I’m not planning to blow up my life, I’m just sitting with the fact that I did something I always said I wouldn’t!! How do you reconcile that without rewriting your entire identity?? How do you look at yourself in the mirror and decide which version counts??

I’m not here to ask for advice exactly, and I’m not looking for absolution or punishment either!! I just needed to say it somewhere that doesn’t immediately demand a lesson or a takeaway!!! There’s this pressure online to turn everything into growth or trauma or empowerment, and honestly I don’t know what this is yet!! One sentence I keep coming back to is this; I don’t recognize myself. I’ve seen people say “everyone is capable of anything under the right circumstances,” and that scares me more than it comforts me!!! If you’ve ever done something that didn’t match your self-image, how did you hold both truths at the same time?? Did you eventually feel like yourself again, or did you accept that the old version was never that solid to begin with?? I’m asking genuinely, not dramatically, because right now I’m just a 41-year-old woman observing the aftermath of a choice and trying to stay objective about it!!! Maybe this is just a moment, maybe it’s a crack, maybe it’s nothing at all!!! I don’t know, and that not-knowing is the part that makes me feel like a stranger to myself, does that make sense??

my partner and i have been together for a couple of months now. he and i both have BPD aka Borderline Personality Disorder.

today, i found out that he claimed one of his friends as his FP or Favorite Person. i know this friend, i talk to them sometimes but as far as i was aware, this friend isn't that close with my partner since they just met recently. but somehow, they became his FP.

there's nothing wrong with it because i understand that you can't control when these things happen, but i guess it's just making me upset since i'm his partner and it feels weird knowing that i am not his FP, despite having known him for longer + we're literally together.

i don't know if i'm overreacting or not. i've already communicated with him about how i want to be put first sometimes, because usually it's me reaching out or it's me starting a conversation or me planning dates and stuff. but he hasn't done anything at all even after promising he'd try to change this. i'm even overthinking about how he might be cheating on me with this friend.

anybody out there with bpd or a similar disorder, can you give me some advice? should i break i off or should i try to talk with him more?

So just for a background on me so it isn’t confusing.

I’m 19F and I’ve been homeschooled since I was in grade 3 till grade 8 so I had no experience with friends. I also have a anxiety disorder and really bad social anxiety

Anywayyyyyy—

To my story.

So I have this friend I’ll call D. Me and him have been friends for over 6 months now. We’re pretty close, hang out atleast once a week, tell each other everything and anything. It’s awesome. Truly.

But I feel like I’m too much. Maybe it’s just my anxiety. Maybe not. That’s why I’m here.

When I make friends I’m pretty quiet and just anxious any little thing I do is gonna make them upset. But once I get comfortable I get abit hyper and sometimes don’t really think about what I say until after the fact.

Like once we were making jokes at a clothing store, I joked about something he’d said the day before and he got really quiet for a few minutes before going back to normal.

I have had alot of friends just up and start ignoring me just cause they can or I become to much I don’t really know cause everyone just says I’m fine.

But it’s gotta be me. Three different people who were in my friend group for over three years don’t just up and leave cause they can.

And I’m scared. Cause I really like D. He’s been my first real friend I’ve had in a long time and I don’t wanna go back to being alone and friendless cause I’m an idiot.

Kinda just ranting at this point but hey that’s what this is for.

I’ll give acouple examples so I’m not asking people to blindly judge me. 😅

1.

Me and D were at a friend of ours house that were not to close with. We got talking about D and his sexuality (which he’s very openly gay) we weren’t being offensive or anything. I made a joke about his crush he had, not insulting just joking about his type (which he’s very openly does to me all the time) and he got really quiet for afew minutes.

2.

I was tutoring a kid of my coworkers and he asked me to call D (he knows him and his mom) I did and we got joking about a funny picture I have of D. He knows I have it, he finds it funny to and even encouraged me to show our close friends. He has funny pictures of me and I allow him to joke about them to. The kid brought up the picture I showed him and his mom and D got really quiet for afew minutes and then went back to normal.

Am I over sharing? Am I being too much? Should I quiet down? Just need some suggestions.

Thanks 🙏

Sooo i've been doing an art project, a video, for a mini movie-contest. For context It's supposed to be about the history of our lands and town. i'm doing almost everything from scratch, but i'm not very good at It tbh. I've been working on It a lot lately, so far i have the first 20 seconds done and other bits and pieces (🥲) but It's kind of crap. I put a lot of effort into It, but I still kind of hate how It looks. And now i have mixed feelings. I'm not sure If i should continue, just BC it matters a lot to me, or If i should just give up. Like idk if It's worth it.

growing up in this neighborhood, I've always seen families yelling at each other. it's like a daily routine here. every morning and evening, their harsh words fill the air. it gets to a point where I just put on my headphones and try to drown them out. have you ever wondered why some people constantly argue? sometimes I think they don't even remember what started the debate. it's just their way of communicating, which baffles me.

life here isn't easy, and living in a poor area of California doesn't offer many opportunities. most families are struggling, working multiple jobs, and trying to make ends meet. but still, the constant bickering seems unnecessary. is all that yelling really helping anyone feel better at the end of the day? 🤷‍♂️ sometimes I feel like I might not understand their situation entirely, but does that really justify turning every conversation into a shouting match?

i have dreams of getting out of here and finding a better life. the yelling gets to me, and I wish to live in a place where people talk to each other with kindness and understanding. wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up to laughter instead of arguments? i'm hopeful that one day, I'll be in a community that cherishes peace and supports one another. it feels like a distant dream now, but I believe it's possible.

for now, I have to learn to cope with my surroundings and stay positive. living here teaches me patience and resilience, although the loud disputes can be discouraging. it's not always easy to stay optimistic when the world around you seems so chaotic; but I'm determined to move forward, stay focused, and someday make my escape to a quieter life. who knows, maybe my story will inspire others to find their peace, too.