Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 2

you really would destroy others’ lives simply so you’re a little happier, huh? you don’t give a FUCK about how others feel unless its how they feel about YOU. don’t try and deny that. you’re not doing it to change, you’re doing it to make a change in our lives. you’re trying to uproot our lives so you can be the oh-so dramatic friend that is unpredictable. you think our lives are some GAME, don’t you? you think that because you had your big exit means we suddenly don’t give a fuck. BUT WE DO. nothing is changing that. you can say “oh please don’t be mad at me” all you want but if you’re hurting and destroying others who genuinely care about you so YOU can have brand new friends who your fuckass brother won’t complain about then maybe we have the right to be angry. fuck you.

I don't feel like I have any friends in this life. I feel alone, completely alone, with no one to accompany me. I feel like I'm just going my own way in life, going nowhere. I don't feel good with the people I'm with; I feel hatred, anger, and other negative emotions. I feel like running away from where I am because I feel like everyone is acting like automatons, like completely irrational beings, because they don't consider the consequences of their actions. They live shaping the future, and the worst part is that you can't say anything to them because they understand that's just how they are, as if it were some kind of curse.

I'm with a girl who's there for me, who reciprocates my feelings, for no other reason than guilt, and unfortunately, blatant guilt, because she believed something that only existed in her head about me. I don't feel like anyone else is there for me, not even her friend, whom I also loved very much. I feel like everyone is there for me, that they reciprocate my feelings, for no other reason than because of what they did to me. Under different circumstances, they would all distance themselves from me, precisely to prevent their future mistakes stemming from their prejudices and their own intolerance. I don't feel comfortable where I am and I want to leave, but I don't know where to go, given that I lack the financial means to do so, and besides, I abandoned my career. I feel completely trapped, and everyone is extremely insecure. Nobody trusts anyone, and everyone is focused on maintaining their status. It's obvious that their thoughts are running wild, just like that, trying, in direct ways, at least in my case, to treat me the same as everyone else, when that's not the case, and their hypocrisy goes unseen. What kind of environment am I in? I can't even trust the therapists because they seem imposing and aggressive. They all live in a world completely detached from reality, a world built solely on a few observations and many prejudices.

I don't feel capable of being among them; in fact, I feel like I'm suffocating, like they don't really want me, and it hurts because it's like falling into the same place again. It's the same with this girl, just like with my sister, who was only with me out of sheer guilt for everything she did to me in the past, and who, after having the chance, simply ran away. I feel like I'm relating to her the way I am only so that, the moment she leaves, I won't have any excuse to say anything behind her back. I feel hypocritical, without friends, without affection, and I can't find anyone who can help me in any way. I feel like nobody really takes the world of relationships seriously and acts according to its workings, with caution, but instead they're looking for a completely idealized, unrealistic world. My ex-therapist lives in her own world, absolutely not. The last time I was with her, I went my own way and she went hers, instead of working as a team. What a failure I am as a person. I'm looking for support, help with my life, and for support, a team is essential. However, she doesn't seem to understand that, even though she should, especially since she's a professor at a leading academic institution.

I feel like disappearing. I feel like I'm just a suck-up to the bosses, doing it for the benefit of the other employees, who, in reality, are more like people who crush me in some way, who are jealous of what I've achieved through my honest effort. I feel like none of them can admit they're not earning their living the right way. I don't feel loved, embraced, or even like I'm attractive to women. I haven't had sex in my entire life, not even a girlfriend, and I feel like I'm missing out. For God's sake, I just want a normal life like everyone else. Is that so hard? I want to sleep with a woman, not so much with a man because it's not my thing, and explore her body and have her explore mine, like many people do. I don't want to deviate from the norm, not at all.

I confess that I feel scared by all the new things I'm experiencing, things that are beneficial, wonderful, and pleasant. It's like feeling like the new boss of the place, but it's not easy to leave behind that painful past I came from. I feel like I'm doing well, really well, but seeing that I've achieved this is hard to believe. Indeed, I return to that past in my feelings, but that already shows that I'm leaving it behind, that I have a new life. I needed to express these words. I feel like I sometimes come across as very harsh, of course, I've acted alone, on my own, and therefore I've taken the plunge along with all my fears. Now, I'm seeing them because I no longer use them.

I know it's contradictory to everything I've said before, but I already feel better, more content, more comfortable. I feel like I'm in control now, and that's comforting. The situation with the girl is beneficial; she's like my sister, because there are already reasons for her to get closer, reasons that They are a reason for it, and at the same time, they seem to please her. I feel her becoming more and more open to me, and that pleases me. I confess that before, I spoke in a somewhat different and even seemingly technical language; however, it helps me to use those phrases responsibly in everyday language. I feel comfortable speaking in this way. I feel that I can't tell everyone this. My path has consisted precisely of handling words with prudence, since I know where they come from, and therefore I can now express the facts of what happens to me in a way that others can understand, or at least get an idea of, as happens with everything we share, if we think about it. I feel I have a good therapist; however, I feel we're at odds because I was focused on talking things through completely, while she preferred to act based on specific elements. But this friction is what allows me to see how she works and thus take advantage of her approach. This, in turn, leads me to attend her sessions conscientiously. I won't give her the power to decide whether or not I see her, because I can't entrust any part of my life to anyone.

At least in our work, they are respectful and congruent, to the extent that they can be. Sometimes, I observe that they don't know how to position themselves and get stuck, but that's natural given how cautiously we've always developed our approach; it's not something that's common for them—in fact, it's quite exceptional. I feel like I'm doing well, emerging from a shell, thankfully, where I only saw my past, which I now understand through my own expressions and interpretations. This shell gave me a huge scare; I thought everything was lost and that all my work had been a complete failure. I did all this without a therapist, not because I wanted to—I wish it had been that way—but the person I sought for support became an obstacle to the opposite, in fact, to returning to my old life. Things got to the point where they're no longer even part of my life, precisely because of their overbearing nature. I had to take control of my life and not put it in the hands of an irresponsible person again.

i’m a high school senior and i’m dating a guy younger than me. he’s had one other girlfriend and people have told me they hooked up but we’ve never talked about it. ive had other boyfriends but i never had sex with them, though i have been assaulted outside of a relationship. i alluded to this when he asked if i was a virgin - prior to this event happening. we were talking for around two months and basically dating already when he was over at my house for the second time. we were watching a movie and making out, it was going fine. we had kissed before but not much more than that. he whispered in my ear “would it be so bad?” and i didn’t know what to say. i asked him what he meant but i knew, i told him it was too soon and gave the excuse that he’s too young (im a year and a half older). he told me no one would know and said he was consenting, but i just told him i didn’t know if it was a good idea. his hands made it into my pants and i asked if he was a virgin but then he paused and made an odd face before shaking his head. i went back to watching the movie but he asked a few more times. i just went silent because i didn’t know what to do. i kissed him and turned back around, the first time he came to my house he did the same thing to the point i took him home because i was upset. when he asked if the kiss meant a yes i didn’t say anything but then he pulled my pants down. i didn’t say anything because i just froze up and my heart was racing and i was scared but idk. he put it in and asked if it hurt and i didn’t respond even though it did. at one point i must have been so freaked out that he got scared too and pulled out, i think i was reliving something but this was a while ago. i felt a lot of emotions but i couldn’t or wouldn’t i guess say anything. i forgot what happened but he went to the bathroom and came back and i felt very conflicted. he noticed something was up and kept asking me what was wrong until i hugged him because i didn’t know what was wrong. i drove him home but after dropping him off i cried all the way home and sat in my driveway. i thought a lot about it for the next few days and i felt extremely conflicted, i cant even put a name to the emotions i was feeling. i told my best friend a week later thinking it would be fun gossip or something but i also felt like i needed to tell someone and she was disgusted. i started crying and she told me that it wasn’t okay but i wasn’t mad at him. he’s been through a lot so i feel very bad for him sometimes and he’s younger so he doesn’t know a lot and i couldn’t bring myself to agree with her about him assaulting me. the next few times he was over he kept asking and i said no, i texted him about a month later explaining how i was assaulted and i didn’t like that he was pressuring me when i already said no. he apologized a lot and it hasn’t happened since. we’ve been officially dating a couple months now and we’ve hooked up more, but i kind of feel like it hasn’t happened again because i haven’t said no again. i’ve talked to a few more of my friends about it and they all look sad and tell me it’s not okay. i just love him a lot and he’s very very sweet to me so it just doesn’t feel like assault. i don’t feel any kind of way about it right now but a while ago my best friend brought it up again and i had a meltdown so maybe im just blocking it out. she hates him and refuses to be around him over this. i haven’t considered breaking up with him over it and i haven’t voiced any of this to him, i just wanted to see what people thought.

So about a month ago my friend that I've know for about a year called me and wanted to hang out. I've been talking too this girl for a little over 3 months we've went out had sex all that.... well when my friend came over I had just gotten a shower and I was wearing my black plush pajama pants and my Grey plush robe super soft clothes just because I like being comfy after a shower and a long day. When he came over he immediately brought up the girl he said "so I heard you started talking too a girl" I replied back "yea things are going pretty good im starting to like her" and he said "well you do know i been talking to her too" and I immediately felt bad I could tell he was angry. So I said "sorry bro how can I fix this" and he looked at me and he looked at my robe and said "go take this off and put on your "soft" jacket" which I found kinda strange but I didnt question it i walked in my room and put on my grey fleece Columbia jacket. When I walked back in the living room I said "well alright now what" he stood up and his eyes were locked on my plush covered crotch (I had no underwear on) and then he said "spread your legs" I immediately was shocked and confused I said " for what?" He said "you asked how you could fix this" and I said " yea but why did I have to put on a jacket and spread my legs" "he said youll see" well I spread my legs just a little and when I did he came closer and drove his knee right into my balls. I imm fell to my knees and said "wtf with a slight moan" he stood me back up and did the same thing 3 times while I was on my knees the 3rd time he comes up behind me and gets grabs my balls from the back and starts squeezing i remember feeling the fuzzy pants tighten around my thighs he said something in my ear but I was in too much pain to understand him after squeezing my balls for 30 secs or more he finally let's go. Thats when I see him walk over to the corner and grab my wooden bat. He makes me stand up again and he said "spread your legs" I spread my shaking legs and he put the bat between my legs and grabs the front and back of the bat and yanks it up into my crotch I immediately went limp holding the bat too try and release some of the pressure. Thats when he says " next time you fuck one of my girls just know I always know and I always got a retaliation you can still fuck her but good luck getting hard with these sore fuzzy balls" and after he said that he yanked the bat up super hard just too get one more blow in and I immediately fall too my knees holding my balls while he walked out.

Hello!!!

I wanna share something which is disturbing my inner peace and lowering my confidence to wear makeup. Let me start, so currently I'm 28 years old and I have never done makeup in my entire life, well I do my skin care regularly but not makeup. All my girlie friends do their makeup and they look extra beauty, they also suggested me to give it a try. After thinking about it for so long I finally decided to give it a try and bought some good basic makeup products. So here's the thing I don't have female in my house it's only me, my elder brother and my fiancé. I have watched tones of makeup tutorial before actually trying it. The very first day when I did a lil makeup I asked my brother and my man, How do I look ? Instead of giving me honest review they laughed at me, saying 'what is this shit on your face' 'you look idiot' and even that man I love told me that he is angry that I'm doing makeup. I felt broke and I cried. Now I don't know should I have asked my girl friends instead of them or just stop doing it. But I wanna be myself, I just want to do it. I really loved it when I did my makeup for the very first time.

Please help me and suggest me what should I do now.

I have lost one of my parent in early years. Stayed at relatives house for over 20 years. Faced a lot of trauma and when tried to make a gf outside of this world I got a heartbreak. At the age of 24 I feel life has no worth and I need support to live

you open yourself up to people and feel doomed for failure.

you've played this tune before.

you've been here before.

but now it's through a screen, now you can't reach them.

its the first time ive allowed myself to make genuine, real online friends. and its great, but i forgot that i make friends with some of the most mentally unstable people on earth. so im dissociated, shaken, petrified because one of our friends just described their dad beating them, then after how they were cutting their own stomach open, playing with their organs, and waiting to bleed out.

and the five minutes they didnt respond felt like hours.

and then they were okay, and didnt do it only because they didnt want us telling their irl friend. then they got mad at me for telling their irl.

they played one of my alltime favorite songs, Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. I saw it on their Discord status, while they were bleeding out. Suddenly I don't like that song anymore.

just last night we also dealt with the owner of the server being sent to a psych ward, then being rejected entry.

i have midterms this week, im dealing with my own fucked up emotions and feelings, and all my friends want to be dead.

i don't easily want to hurt myself, when i do its from extremely bad stress. im gonna see if i can get high tonight on something, anything. im so done with the real world. its not just this, its everything. its politics, its school, its my gender, its anxiety, and its my friends. and still its so much more. everything feels inescapable.

i want to live. im too scared of death for anything drastic. but i wanna find a way where i dont have to think about life so much. a place inbetween.

(This story does mention dark things Just wanted to let everyone know before they read)

Boy or Girl... I don't know anymore?

Let's start from the beggining I have never felt like I have really fit in I moved from California(wont say where) in the 4th grade and in the 6th grade I was suicidal my Step Dad made me apologize to my mom for hurting her by saying I wanted to die. Then I went to the mental hospital twice in the 9th grade but also in the 9th grade. I found something out that changed me forever.

I have always been facinated with boy clothing and hair cuts I have always liked the way they looked and cologne I have always loved cologne. Then I had this feeling in my chest like deep down in my soul that something wasn't right. Then I figurd out I wanted to be a boy not like a tomboy or stuff I wanted to be a man I did so badly. It was really hard coming out to other people I told my sister first she was so understanding which I will be forever greatful for. When I told my mom it was a little diffrent though she was like understanding yeah but it didnt feel right. My step dad tried to understand but in the end when I said I wanted a boy hair cut he yelled at me and stuff and I ran away. But when I said I was nonbinary my mother was so happy she was like I knew you would come around and find out who you really were. Which really hurt because I thought she had expeted me. But then the feeling I thought went away but no it was really always there just waiting for the right time I guess.

There was one person I really admired his name was skylar and he was trans and he was a boy and he was the coolest. He had the coolest hair and the most awesome personality and I wished so badly I could be like him he was so out and happy with himself. I wish I could be that way. I don't want to have the man parts no offense but I want to be a boy if that makes sense.

Sorry this is so long. Also the guy I like if I told him I don't think he would like me if I told him that. Also is it werid that when I get married I stil want to wear a beautiful wedding dress. Also when I was talking to this lady on this christian site she told me I shouldn't be a boy just cause I said I was unsure and she said it could be because of my time of the month I'm feeling this. I litterally have felt this way for a long time she litterally said these exact words "You to help her understand her identity as she is having these questions and thoughts, I ask that You show her why you created her female." Yes I understand that for people in god's eyes I am perfect but I don't now anymore like I said "Boy or Girl... I don't know anymore?"

I'm a lil drunk so work with me, but it's eating at me and some advice would be really nice right now because I feel like I'm so close to screwing this up

I’m feeling worn out by this relationship. Lately, it feels like I’m losing patience and the motivation to keep going each day.

So bascially my day was horrible and I found this website and because the last website I went to when I went through things (okay I may have gone there alot but I thought thats what it was for!) I bascially felt like I was being shamed so I stopped going there. Anyway about my day.

Anyway so first the person I like wasn't at school and I wanted to talk to them because one of my friends decided to share my busisness (tell them I liked them) and there have been some signs that they might like me back. So I just wanted to sort it out. BUT NO!

Then im on a bus and this guy behind me lets call him jerk, Jerk decided to call everybody basically a gay slur but the man is not even gay hes straight. Then my friend who is in a relationship Jerk will not leave them alone. Showing them pictures of the guys family and everytime he waves his stupid hand in my face and kept saying,: get her attention, do it, do it, do it. Like no leave ME ALONE! Gosh then this guy joins in and starts betting her boyfriend to do the nastiest things. By this point I was so done the day was bascially horrible. But I hope everyone else had a great day!

So i met a guy on a video game and he starts flirting with me and my friend and then tells us about his previous crushes and hookups while flirting with us and when my friend confronts him about it without my permission and tells about my feelings to him; he says he doesnt really know how to talk to girls and we just forgive him but i start to make fun of him the way he makes misogynistic and derogatory jokes towards me.

Then i meet a new guy who totally seemed awkward and uninterested and saw potential in him and he just asks for my pictures and doesnt send his; gets weird amount of attention from my female friends, rarely spends time with me, when i refuse to send him my pictures he guilt trips me; tells me he loves me within a week of knowing me;I start to roast and constantly talk about the guy who makes fun of me to get my revenge and im labelled as obsessed and cheating on the guy im talking to because he didnt know that i used to have feelings for the guy i was making fun of. i later told him about all about it and then i broke up with him and he later sends his picture and says “i knew long distance wouldnt work out this is why i am sending my picture right now” i later gave him closure about why i wanted to break up. he later goes and talks shit about me to my friends but when i do the same; he got mad and just blocked me. i have tried multiple times to apologise, sent 100+messages trying to talk to ppl but they dont wanna listen. i was told later in december by the guy i used to like and the one who used to make fun of me actually did have feelings for me after-all. i’m so sick of these lies and manipulation

Heyah!! I haven't checked into this app for ages. But I was super-duper curious if anyone could help me find out if the singer from the TV show Lookism sings anything else other than "Fly Up"? I've found the dudes name, but when I look him up to see if he sings anything else... ZERO results😭!!! The only thing that shows up under the man's name is "Fly Up". But the singer had/has such a beautiful voice🥹🙏🏻✨!!! It always makes me cry during October season(my mom passed away in October). The MC cared about his mom after realizing that he didn't treat her all that great and blamed her for his appearance🥲. Then singing the song and realizing that she genuinely loved him.

Anyway... Back on the topic... Help🙇🏻‍♀️✨? Song, songs, songs. I wanna hear all the song if someone has the answer🤩🎶!?

Anyway... Good morning and goodnight💤! And happy 2026!!!

I just need to yell at something right now in the middle of my ELA class and this is the only way I can figure out how because all the stress relief websites are blocked, i cant stab myself with pencil, yell at a teacher or blow up, and I need to look like i'm doing something. I am so unbelievably angry with my grades on an essay. everyone hates my teacher because he is super strict, crushes dreams and gives a lot of homework. I don't HATE him because I don't hate anyone and like to think of myself as a very empathetic person, but I am THIS close to pounding my head against a table because it is finals week and I had accepted the uselessness of this school support system months ago, yet here I am growing more frustrated. Between the repetitive mental health presentations, blaming of social media and high expectations, I have been stretched as thin as everyone else. Grades aren't bad in my family. They can't be. In middle school I worked extra hard to get straight A's, and was almost done with eighth grade when I learned that those grades don 't even count for anything on the long run. By then It was too late to change the way of existing that was drilled into me, and I even felt glad that I would have practice for high school, when the grades would go on my record. well here I am, halfway through the year and I have never been more tired. in addition, my grades have never been worse. Since the year began, I have volunteered twice, helped out at a bake sale, got first chair in band, learned to play hockey from the ground up, written 26 essays, ACTUALLY studied, prepared a duet piece with my friend for a competition, signed up for an extra online class outside of school for credit, joined weightlifting and marching band, stopped my friend from unaliving herself, gave up art for college credit classes, privately entered a short story contest, and not missed a single day. not when I got sick, not even after a car crash we got into on the way to school. I don't skip. I do my work. I have supportive friends. And here I am, wishing I could die. I think my body is trying to kill me. My stomach turns at the thought of eating anything, but I force myself to anyways because I need to have enough energy for hockey and dragging my backpack around, and I can't help but fight against my melatonin each night to stay awake for hours because my head keeps rushing and it's the only time of day when I can actually relax. I have to drag myself into the shower, and stopped wearing earrings, which sounds dumb and small but for me it feels noticeable. I am known for my giant, unique earrings, or at least i was, and they were one of the only things that made my feel like myself. Now, things like that don't feel worth the energy. But despite being exhausted, despite wishing I could end it all, I just can't. I know it would devastate my family and friends, and I just feel too busy to focus on any of that. I hate living, I hate trudging through the day, I hate working so hard I want to cry, and I hate that i'm failing anyway. I have A-s and B-s, which will never be enough to get me into a good college or have a meaningful future. My grandfather wants me to go to Cambridge or some Swedish university, and I want to make a difference in the world or something idk, But even if I had a 4.0, I would have to stand out somehow to be accepted anywhere. I've never been good at remembering or getting things in on time, but it's caused me to become a genius at lying. Excuses. Gaining sympathy. Taking advantage of my charm and empathy. I can get teachers to really like me without being a suck-up, and when I forget to turn something in, all it takes is a creative and specific story about a computer problem or something that is somehow their fault. I won't say I wish I didn't do it, but I can't, because it works and the extra time makes decision paralysis a little more bearable. AND YET STILL. STILL. I'M F*&KING FAILING AND NOTHING I DO SEEMS TO HELP! nothing I sacrifice, nothing I skip out on, nothing I do to myself helps. not even the "giving yourself breaks" things helps, because it never makes me feel any less tired and just sets me back. Even now, I am spending precious time in class to write this instead of editing a failed essay because I feel like it's the only way I won't scream. a 30/50. Handwritten, three-page report on irony used in To Kill a Mockingbird. Last essay, he told me to divide into more paragraphs. Now, the paper is covered in barely-readable scribbles that say things like "why did you indent again?" "dividing information makes it confusing" "And... WHAT?". The worst part, he acts like HE IS THE VICTIM! I have never met a more bitter man. He spends all class long harping about how the system has stuck him in a thankless gob where we stupid kids don't even listen to him after spending his whole life in school, like a martyr. He tells us that maybe if we studied instead of playing games on our computers, we would be as good as his AP class, or make an essay that was actually readable. It makes me fume. Infuriated at the way he doesn't seem to understand that we are fighting just to stay alive and people like me can't even have fun anymore, even if we had time. The worst part is that even if he did understand, I doubt he would care because this is the bare minimum for everybody. Dying every day and running on 5 hours of sleep. hating yourself and constantly competing. Sinking into depression in the back of your mind without having a minute to spare on escaping. There is no escaping. This is our reality. Our lives. Our fated failure. This is what they have made for us, and yet we are still told we aren't good enough.

what the hell is wrong with me. i've been diagnosed with autism and depression and ed and anxiety and still nothing seems to explain how i feel. unable to do anything like a normal person. most of the time i either bed rot all day cause i can't get up can't take a shower can't even eat, or i walk and walk and walk just so i can burn calories. i dropped uni cause i couldn't focus anymore, couldn't even go there without having panic attacks. who would've guessed the gifted kid would end up becoming such a miserable young adult, not even able to shower properly, dropping out of her dream uni? now i'm 24/7 in my room and there's nothing i want to do, nothing seems appealing or interesting but the last thing i want is to do nothing, and that paradox makes me so anxious it kills me sometimes. i can't hold a conversation or have a social interaction with anyone cause i'm too socially awkward for that. always been that way. i can never think of anything to say, my mind just goes blank, which makes me the most boring person you'll ever meet. i never fit in anywhere. never did. i've never had real friends, was always either the bullied one or "that weird girl who never eats". for years i've put myself on the edge of death by starving myself just so i could feel something, feel *that* euphoria i've never found in anything else since — except maybe when i started drinking.. a little too much. and also cause i was never brave enough to actually att*mpt directly. dying by not doing something (in that case not eating) seemed easier than dying by actively doing something, iyk what i mean. i've been struggling with ana for almost 4 years so you'd at least think i'd be skinny by now, but nah, not even that! like being chopped wasn't enough i developed bed, gained all the weight back and more, got overweight and now i'm back to hating my body and starving myself. i can't let anyone know tho. who would care anyway? i don't have anyone. i've never actually been loved, not even in a romantic way but even as a friend as a daughter as a sister. i disappoint every single person in my life. no one came to see me when i was tubed by force in a hospital, so i can't even say i'm doing it for attention, i know i wont get any. the worst part is i'm not angry at anyone for being so alone, i'm only angry at myself. if i were anyone else i wouldn't want to be friend with me either. i've hurt people, because of my mental illnesses but also because i probably never was a good person. i don't have excuses, i'm just selfish and stupid and have no empathy. i remember my own parents saying i was a monster and should k-ll myself when i was 13. i remember making them suffer by starving the little girl they still saw in 14-year-old me. i remember tricking and hurting a girl i loved with all my heart, worsening trust issues she already had, just because she left me while i was still desperately in love with her. all my fault. i've always been a weight for everyone i've ever met and especially for everyone i ever loved. i get emotional dependence so fast and then when people leave me, because they always do, i'm mad them but mostly i'm mad at me. i hate the person i am with every single fiber of my being.

i still don't know what the hell is wrong with me.