Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 2

I don't remember a time when I liked myself. I guess to be more clear I don't remember a time when I didn't hate myself. I'm 34 now and ever since can remember I've hated being me.

Waking up in the morning is a constant disappointment because it means I didn't stop breathing. Even on the happiest of days I'm still always filled with dread, doubt, anxiety and self loathing. I understand what created this mindset, but unfortunately it's not something I can just pack up and hide in a dark corner of the attic.

I'm sorry, and I don't mean to throw a pity party but I'm just wondering if the day will ever come that I wake up and I'm happy that I'm still breathing?

I hate it when people tell me what a great person I am. I truly do because it's not true. I'm not a bad person per say but I'm not the great person they think I am.

My who always tells me how lucky she is and how I'm the best husband she could ask for. If only she knew that I had slight resentment towards her for using sex as a tool to keep me in the relationship until she felt we were close enough and in love enough that sex was no longer a want I would have. If only she knew that I have strong romantic feelings for one of my best friends, even while being fully dedicated to her as a husband.

My close friend who tells me how lucky she is to have me as a friend, even giving me a card for my birthday saying how I have given her back a feeling of hope in the world. If only she knew that I have strong romantic feelings for her, even though I'm in a dedicated marriage. If only she knew how often I think about her even though I shouldn't.

My other friends who tell me that I have such a kind and loving spirit. if only they knew how much I hated most people, to the point that I wish harm on them. if only they knew how I still haven't forgiven them for turning their backs on me so many years ago. If only they knew that sometimes I still think about it and wish I could hurt them back.

My best bud who tells me he couldn't imagine not having me in his life. If only he knew when allowed his ex (and mutal friend) to rent a room from me that I knew it would hurt him but didn't care because I still held a grudge against him for disappearing on me after high school. If only he knew that I have given up hope on helping him find love and peace because I don't think he'll ever let himself be happy.

My mom who tells me I was the best decision she ever made. If only she knew that don't trust her in any way. if only she knew that I don't have many kind words to say about her to others. If only she knew that was always happiest when she wasn't around.

If only they all knew. Then maybe they would get upset with me when I give a honest response to their compliments. I always reply, "No I'm not a great husband."

"No, you can do better then me."

"No, I'm not as good as you think."

"I give you new hope for the world? That's really sad."

"Your honesty just settling for less and can do better "

My responses are honest, sincere and mean them whole heartedly but they just think it's my lack of self confidence. Maybe it is but it's also just me knowing who I am.

If only then knew every time they tell me how great I am that I actually wanna cry then find a deep hole somewhere and die so I don't have to worry about hurting them.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I have been falling behind in life compared to other teens. I often see my peers hanging out with friends or significant others on the weekend, whilst I bed rot and constantly scroll through my social media. I feel a deep sense of hatred and disgust towards myself because I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough or smart enough. I also struggle with my body image because I feel uncomfortable inside my own body and sometimes feel like I want to rip my skin off. I feel like I’m watching my youth fly by me day by day and I don’t know how to stop it.

I am a terrible husband, or at least that's how I feel. fir the record, I am not abusive physically or mentally, and I am not the type to cheat on my wife. She is a great wife, and she means the world to me. She supports my crazy ideas and vice versa.

But the reason I feel like a terrible husband is because while I love my wife dearly, I have very similar feelings for a close friend. One of my best friends, actually. We met not too long after I started dating my wife neatly 10 years ago. From the day I first saw her I was blown away by how beautiful she was.

We were co-workers and so we spent a lot if time together and so we became close friends. Even after the company closed, we remained close friends. Now at no point in time have I ever made a pass at her or done anything dishonest with her. But over the years I have slowly developed romantic feelings for her. I never meant to and never thought I could developed those feelings for another woman while feeling the same way about my wife.

The whole idea seems like something out of a movie and not something that could happen in reality. The feelings are selfish and constantly eat away at me. When I'm around her I wanna open up and confess how I feel and take the plunge like an idiot. But when we part and I get home to my wife I am reminded of my feelings for her and become overwhelmed with this dreadful feeling of how unfair I'm being to her.

The whole thing is beyond selfish and unfair to both of them. I would never destroy the life me and my wife have created and the bond we share because of someone else. But I also would never destroy my friendship with my friend because I'm having feelings I shouldn't, especially when she has no idea.

I feel so awful and I honestly hate myself for feeling the way I do. To make matters worse I have no one in my life I can talk to about it. Sometimes I go to bed a night hoping I don't wake up so I don't have to feel this way anymore. What kind of a man let's this happen? I never thought something like this was possible.

I'm so lost in all this and don't know what to do. I cant turn left and I can't turn right. Words can't begin to describe how sorry I am to both of them. Both can do better than me and deserve better than me.

I can't keep up with this never-ending cycle of pandemonium at work. At 37, you'd think I'd have some semblance of balance between my professional life and personal sanity, but nope, not even close. It's like being caught in a whirlwind of task assignments constantly flying at me — deadlines, meetings, KPIs... you name it. It's like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle; one misstep and everything burns. My brain is fried to the point where caffeine doesn't even make a dent anymore; feels like I might as well be IV-dripping espresso straight into my veins. ☕️

I've tried talking to my boss about this chaos, but their response is always the same spiel about how "we need to show hustle" and "it's just the nature of the beast in this industry." Give me a break. 🙄 Is it really necessary for every report to be ASAP? And why do we even need 47 meetings a week when half of them could be emails? It feels like I'm on this soul-sucking treadmill, and not in the hip, let's-get-fit kind of way. More like the absolutely pointless, "why-am-I-even-here" sense. I've worked in marketing for a long time now, long enough to know that while some stress is inevitable, this — this is beyond ridiculous. You ever experience those moments where you wonder just how far you can stretch yourself before you snap? I'm there, tiptoeing on the edge.

Last week, I almost lost it during a client pitch. The VP kept interrupting with her "constructive criticism," because apparently, needing to interject every five seconds with irrelevant noise is the highlight of her day. 😤 It’s like: "No, Karen, I'm sorry that you think adding a flashing neon sign with glitter would grab the consumer's attention more effectively, but we're not in Las Vegas, and things called 'design principles' exist." It's the never-ending condescension and micromanagement that make me question why I’m still here. I almost told her where she could shove her feedback, but instead, just swallowed my pride; because, of course, professionalism, yada yada. But what's the point of professionalism if it feels more like perpetuating a mask to hide the mounting fatigue? Sometimes I wonder if they see us as humans or just cogs in their money-making machine?

I debated making a change, like jumping ship entirely for something less demanding. But then, what if the next gig is just another version of this absurd rat race with a new set of faces? 🌪️ The imposter syndrome kicks in, and I'm left second-guessing every decision — is it me, or is this the norm now? Life wasn't supposed to be this monotonous grind. How can I break free from this overwhelming chaos and reclaim a life that doesn't require a mental triage every single day? If there's a silver lining, I haven't found it yet; and hey, if you've got any tips, I'm all ears. But if not, and you're in the same boat, know that you're not alone — we're screwed together in this never-ending abyss of work life. Offering virtual hugs to anyone feeling the same. 🤗

this story is based around my sister and what she does/is doing now she’s on her period(she’s almost eighteen btw and im younger). So last night I had went into the bathroom to use the bathroom while she was taking a shower and she just asked me a simple request of getting her chocolate milk and Dr Pepper and her cheesecake and since I’m a good sister I do, then she sees that and says “oh hey, im on my period so im prob gonna be asking for a lot” and I say okay because she usually always asks me for small things like getting her a drink and im used to that even though it is frustrating. But tonight I finally had enough because she has been forcing me to do so much for her like making her food even though she’s already in the kitchen and getting her money and getting her a drink and I feel like she’s just using that to her advantage. And I even turned the sound off of our microwave to avoid waking up our mom and as soon as I go to sit in the living room she turns it back on to try and get me to go over there and start making her food again. And not to mention she’s trying to gaslight(idk the proper word for it) me into making her food “properly” even though im doing it how she normally does it. And she said “okay but you usually come to me so I can stir my food and then you put it in for another minute” and when I dump it out and make her a new batch of noodles she starts to complain that they “weren’t” cooked even though they were, they were just soggy because of the water. And she could not comprehend that fact. And she’s been using the excuse that she was tired and that it’s only fair because she’s working and im not(im not even old enough to get a good job yet with good hours like her job) and she has been making me do all of the tougher chores like the kitchen and bathroom(bc she has a “weak” stomach) and all she does is just sweep the floors and dust and she usually bounces out halfway done sweep and makes me do the rest along with vacuuming and mopping most of the time. And she says it’s only fair because she buys me food(which is only when our parents force her to which is barely) and like im thinking “yo wtf you don’t have to, you’re forcing yourself to” and I don’t think she gets the fact that i have enough money to buy my own food either. Because I can pay her or my mom to buy me food and they will just as long as I pay them for it. And a while ago she asked if I had money to buy me food and I said no and a little bit after that my dad gave me some money as allowance and when she found out she was all like “okay so then you were lying to me about having no money just for free food?” And I tried to explain to her that it was after that and she didn’t even believe me and made a big deal about it. And the funniest thing about all of this is the fact that she expects us to be all buddy-buddy after this

Im 15, female I feel like I can’t turn to anyone right now even to family and friends, but I can’t even talk to anyone anyways because my mom had taken away my phone for a month because of my grades and I’m not sure when I’ll get it back. And my family can’t even handle their own feelings and yell too much so I don’t know or wanna know how they would handle mine, I’m uploading this on a computer by the way. I don’t have a problem with my phone getting taken away but she thinks I’m too distracted with it even though school ended a month ago, so when I went on call with one of my friends on a zoom meeting because I was getting lonely and I didn’t have anything else to do. She came in my room and I tried to turn off my computer because I knew she would get angry and she did. And she was also mad at the fact that I was trying to hide it from her, so she just started yelling at me how I never tell anything to her but I don’t like to because she assumes the worse about me when I explain. She asked if I was hungry after she yelled at me but I said no because why would I wanna eat around her right after that so she walked out of my room leaving my door open and started yelling again that she’s gonna take away my door and that I can choose not to eat then become anorexic and she made sure I heard too then she was just like “but Im right though” like that would give her an excuse to say that. I honestly don’t know why she even said that, it’s not even about the devices anymore. I didn’t know how to react when she said that I felt so numb at the moment. This was too difficult for me to tell anyone I know and her words hurt me so bad for the past few days and even now she did that right before my birthday in June. I didn’t really want to do anything for my birthday the next day. And I feel like all of that is too normalized in my family and maybe it’s because of generational trauma idk anymore because my mom acted normal towards me the next day. My relationship with my mom wasn’t always like that though I was a mommy’s girl because my dad is present in my life, and after my mom said all of that she was like “what happened to my little sunshine” but I don’t know what happened either. This summer break made me realize that school is an escape from my house and I think all of done this summer was lay in my bed and hope no one came to bother me in my room. Im pretty scared for the future especially the future generation because as I keep getting older expectations get higher, I know it may be apart of life but maybe Im not fit for existing here. I do hope I can get through it though because things can change in the future. This was hard for me to share even anonymously please be kind to me.

To my stalkers.They will never see me speak and talk to me in person until they die. They will never meet me in person. They will never know how great I am in person and how funny I am and all those wonderful things. Lol.

life is like my cousin, I love it

I can’t sleep. Why bother…? Y’know I can just… count sheep… one sheep… two sheep… three sheep… four.. sheep… god, I’m too tired to think of numbers. Atleast it made me sleepier, but… my storming thoughts aren’t gone yet. I think my girlfriend hates me. I’m not quite sure why I made this type of assumption… she sounds like she does. We argue almost daily about the smallest things… if I break up with her… then I might feel extremely miserable. I mean… I would like to, but… what about everything she has done for me…? I can’t let that slide at all… I want to cry, but I’m to tired… let’s just close our eyes and think of something else instead of… crying.

I'm not trying to complain but I'm having to use this app on my tablet bc it's saying it's not compatible with Samsung galaxy a13 anyone send me some advice

bright colours move across my face

a butterfly takes gentle place

wings of pinks, purples and gold

a tiny story gently told

painted wings that flutter light

catching rays of golden bright

every smile becomes a part

of this unique work of art

bubbles rise like floating beads

catching light in glimmering steeds

they drift and dance around my face

mirroring colours with beautiful Grace

each bubble holds a memory so small

reflecting shadows that softly fall

painted wings and spheres gleam

like sunlight shown inside a dream

bubbles drift through velvet air

softly spiralling everywhere

they sparkle in the dim-lit room

like rising sparks that chase the gloom

now years have passed

the day is still

-

but in my mind I feel the thrill

the colourful wings, the bubbles gleam

a solstices light, a passing dream

Got lots of love to give but no one wants to have it. They want the toxic ones.

My life is a dumb drama. Last year I went travelling with friends. To cut the story short I saw someone staring at me during my connecting flight . I posted about it in another site but the reality is that I don't know the person and also I think he just saw me there. I posted this in another website and these " people" who kept on stalking me assumed they know the person that I am rambling about!? Wtf? Or did I miss some story that I didn't know? Bad news he was with a wife/gf during that flight lol but kept staring at me. I somehow recognize the voice but whatever. Second, I don't get the point of all the stalking and sht when they don't even entry to TALK TO ME. In person. For what? I'm not overthinking at this point. They were watching my network activities since last year which isfcking illegal. For what reason? I dunno? Maybe they just want to fcking screw me or what? I really dunno.

Bro…

We have free will😦⁉️ if I’m unhappy w something do something about it. Like I get we can’t always change our situation and how we feel about them

LIKE IF SMT MAKES ME HAPPY I CAN GO DEEPER INTO THAT WTHH

But the classic saying…

‘You can change how you react to them’

Friends or no friends. My life is gonna continue. So I gotta stop this worry kinda and just do stuff(kinda limited rn but hopefully won’t be when I grow up 😭)

WRITE SMT DOWN ABOUT HOW UVE REALISES U CAN DO WHATEVER