Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 2

i don't know why its always me who is not enough for anyone , every time when i am only trying to protect other they just turn on me and call me selfish , arrogant , inhuman , emotionless and some of them i just forgot . tomorrow is my birthday and today here i am ranting all this simply because i don't have anyone to tell its not like i don't want someone special its just that my way of showing love is different being elder daughter they had always told me to look out for the family and that i have to be the strongest one and that i have to take care of everyone , but no one ever asked me that do i really want all this i mean i was just a kid when i was told to make sacrifices for my younger sibling and whenever my family is facing any financial issue they just ask me to understand and don't ask for anything but on the other hand let my younger sibling have everything just because he was a kid never thought about me i was also a kid , finally i got one person who claimed that he loved me and foolish me i believed him , giving everything and expecting only love and to be looked after and needed someone who can say just be yourself i was just a baby Infront of him , i completely forget myself but that elderly instinct never left me , don't show too much emotions and there is no such thing as depression always makes a loud noise inside me i was handling everything believing that soon it will be over but the one thing that got over was his love for me , he left me and told me that he will never come back i started college moving on in my second year he came back begging me to give him chance and dumb me i gave in , 5 years and when i was ready to tell my parents he left again with same excuse that i was not made for love , today my younger brother came home drunk i didn't have any excuse to save him and he made a seen calling me the traitor and telling me that he is cutting ties with me , i have always protected him taking his blames on me and today he told me this i was worried that he was out alone so i called his frnds and he called me and told me to mind my own business . this was my birthday gift from my family to me , the worse part is my mother told me that i don't have sense of talking and that i should not talk , i tried committing suicide but failed , tried telling my frnds but they just laugh it off . sorry if i had written alot forgive me as there was no one i can share all this and just for a moment i felt relief

growing up in a very religious family, I've always been taught certain absolutes about what is right and wrong. these beliefs have shaped much of who I am today. but at 23, as a guy without a girlfriend and a level of shyness that could win awards, I sometimes find myself seeking solace and, dare I say, curiosity-driven exploration in places that might be frowned upon by my family: porn. and it brings me to the question that's been gnawing at the back of my mind — is it normal to indulge in this digital world of fantasies?

I mean, don't get me wrong. it's not like I'm spending every waking moment glued to my screen, but occasionally, when my confidence hits rock bottom, or the loneliness starts creeping in for the night, I find myself clicking on these explicit videos. as someone who's always struggled to talk to women, let alone date one, it's like my mind is trying to experience something through the lens of another world where anxiety doesn't exist. i'd often sit back, thinking if this habit was a way to fill the void of interactions I long for. i read somewhere that watching porn might be a substitute for real relationships, but is it really?

sometimes, at midnight, after another epic fail trying to chat up a girl in a local coffee shop or bookstore (where, for some reason, I think I'll bump into someone who shares my obscure love for vintage comics), I'd ponder if my upbringing has something to do with my romantic bumbling. as somebody who hails from a community where discussions about sexual desires are as welcome as vegan steak at a barbecue, these threads draw me in like a moth to a flame. wondering if my curiosity is misplaced or if I'm just a typical guy trying to navigate life's labyrinthine web, I sometimes wonder if there might even be others out there, equally tangled in this dilemma;

people say porn desensitizes, warps ideas, and is detrimental to real-life relationships. yet, what confuses me is hearing some friends treating it like it's part of their everyday routine. "it’s just a phase," they say. "everyone does it." but, does everyone really? maybe it's merely their casual approach or the false courage digital anonymity brings. every time I consider their words, I wonder if my consumption is any different from the next guy’s video game obsession—just less socially acceptable.

in these quiet, introspective moments, there's almost a sense of solidarity I feel with others who might be questioning the same things. isn't questioning oneself a path to self-discovery, after all? I hope anyone reading this might offer insight or reassurance; not to validate my actions, per se, but to join me in unraveling this conundrum. even if that means admitting that yes, perhaps, I'm just part of this vast, modern-day paradox. so, is it normal to watch porn? or am I just trying to find normalcy in an action my upbringing condemns? does anyone else ever feel this strange cocktail of curiosity, guilt, and anonymity? 🤔

He knows I'm fucking crying and guess what he doesnt care. I feel so stupid for getting attached to him. He just wants a gf just for the sake of having me with him. When he wants to he'll be a good person and attentive and caring but when I need it hes not there. Its better to be alone rather than be with someone who makes you so sad. I'm an idiot for staying with him because he needs me. He says if you leave me I'll be alone. But he wants to pick and choose when to be a good bf. I'm checking out of this relationship. I feel bad for him but fuck I just keep caring less and less.

Would you be upset with your partner giving commentary on their drive to and from work?

Not like "now i passed a blue car, i am going 38mph, now i passed a red car" no, more like for reckless or stupid drivers (unfortunately here are a lot), "that car is so stupid, they went in that lane..." blah blah blah.

My boyfriend is a busy man I get it but when we're on the call together, most of the time he doesnt have much to say to me or he just responds to what I say or ask and most of the times idc. But I have been mentioning a lot more the reckless drivers around me. I've been noticing them a lot more after I got in a car accident and the other car ran a red light and tboned my car(I'm okay and so is the other driver).

But today I get told that he's tired of me giving commentary while driving. The only f-ing reason that I say that stuff is because other than that he he probably wont say anything. And you bet that after today I'm gonna stop and I'm sure our phone calls will be 80% silent. What's the point of calling me then???

I'm just sad and I hate how I got into this whole relationship. I've already been rethinking our relationship and things like this make it worse. I know relationships require work but how much until its just not worth it? I'm just tired of him and everything else. I just wanted a partner who would listen to me respond because you bet I would do that for him. It sucks that even tho he's a good person idk if I want to be in this relationship

sometimes i feel like i'm just drifting away. at 51, you'd think i'd have my life set or at least be comfortable, but no. my husband barely even acknowledges me as if i've become a fixture rather than a partner. i cannot remember the last time he reached out and caressed my hand or looked at me with those eyes that once held warmth. am i no longer worthy of affection, or does aging put a damper on desire? i've never felt so invisible, and it's weighing heavily on my heart. is it normal for passion to fade like this, or am i simply unworthy now?

we used to be so in sync, you know? always close and connected. it's like the rhythm and cadence we shared was just lost over time, fading away into the white noise of daily chores and trivial tasks. there's an ache in my chest from being untouched, untouched by the one person who promised to hold me close forever. it's a cold reality to accept that intimacy has become a thing of the past, a relic of our younger years. was it inevitable, or could i have stoked the flames to keep it alive?

it's easy to feel like maybe it's me. maybe i've let myself go or become complacent, and now i'm just not desirable. i've heard about the inevitable drudgery of marriage; maybe we slipped into that pattern without even realizing it. yet, doubt creeps in and floods my mind. does silence mean he's lost interest or grown tired of what once captivated him? could he ever see me as the woman he fell in love with, or have i become someone else entirely in his eyes?

i often wonder if anyone else out there feels the same, trapped in a silent dance of routine void of passion. am i alone in how i feel, or is this just one of those unspoken realities of aging? depression and longing for those moments to reignite feels like an insurmountable climb, but the hope of rekindling lives on deep inside my heart; maybe, just maybe, there's a way to bridge this emotional gap. would having a heartfelt conversation or finding a common ground bring us back? or, perhaps, this is simply the natural ebb and flow of life. 🤔

So about 3 weeks ago me and my friend and I decided to go to a pool hall well I was already in my pajama pants and a jacket (what I usually wear at night time) the pajama pants are like a extremly plush fuzzy material and the jacket was a super soft fleece I just simply enjoy being comfortable when im at home lol reason im going into detail about what I was wearing is because when we got too the pool hall everything was cool for a couple hours until my friend started talking smack to some guy well the guy pushes my friend and when he did I jumped between them and when I did my pool stick fell out of my hands and was laying on the ground. Well when I stepped between them I just so happened to be standing over the pool stick and 2 guys picked the pool stick up at the same time and racked yanked up hitting me dead in the middle of my balls I remember feeling the stick literally splitting my balls in half I remember looking down and seeing the fuzzy pants and the outline of my balls around the stick and the guy that was behind me rubbed my shoulder and said "you got a nice soft jacket on oh and your pants look soft too" and when he said that he reached down and twisted my dick while the pool stick was still between my legs i remember moaning extremly loud and grunting while he twisted and squeezed also at the same time yanking the pool stick up higher into my balls he eventually let go and I went to my knees immediately I been trying too find words to explain this too my gf and I just can't come up with anything.?

I struggle to sleep at night without seeing images in my mind. Sometimes my thoughts just race, other times I get recurring flashbacks of things that happened to me during my childhood. I remember things starting when I was about 4? My mother was an abusive alcoholic. I was pretty much at her mercy due to my father being deployed overseas. She was neglectful; she didn't feed my sister and I, she taught me about sex at a young age, I saw her having sex with her cousin. All around, things were pretty awful.

At some point, I was taken by the police to a station. We were shipped off to foster care for 2-3 years. My father fought hard to win the case and he eventually did, but he's no saint either. He's been through a lot as well but the way he copes is unhealthy. When we first arrived home, my father was doped up on oxycodone pills due to being permanently disabled and discharged from the military. He tried his best but he attempted suicide by mixing drugs and alcohol and we were sent to my grandmother's. I don't remember much between the ages of 7-12 so things kind of get blurry.

At some point, my father became so bitter and violent. He often compared me to my mother and would lash out at me in fits of rage. He would hit my head a lot and I don't have many clear memories anymore. I remember one time when I didn't take out the trash. It was around 12:00AM when he noticed that the trash wasn't taken care of. He immediately got violent with me and started pinning me against a wall, screaming and spitting in my face.

I decided to flee, barefoot in the rain. I ran and hid at a nearby apartment until he stopped looking for me. I sprinted over a mile to my nearest friend's house. I remember completely breaking down in front of him and I felt terrible. His Mom comforted me and gave me the guest room to sleep in. The next day I dreaded going home. I also had a field trip to a college the next day, so I had to suck it up and act like nothing happened. I remember the field trip being a blast, though. My theatre class went and saw a play. :D

Anyway, I just need to talk about this stuff. I can never find a proper way to bring it up to my friends or my therapist. I stopped going to therapy because I felt like they never let me fully empty my brain. I've been depressed for a long time. Sometimes I just break down because everything is too much. I get so frustrated with myself for holding myself back. I'm in my 20's with no job and no drivers license. I feel so pathetic but it's so difficult to start tackling these things.

I feel like a fish out of water, honestly. It seems like everything I touch becomes unstable. I don't have a good sense of self or purpose. I have passions, but I get burned out so easily. Sometimes I just want to disappear so I won't be a burden on anyone else anymore. I don't know. I find it hard to rely on others for support. I just needed to talk about this stuff tbh because it's been stewing in my mind for too long.

Piece by piece I try to keep me and Ed’s relationship together it’s so hard we sometimes fight normally we make up immediately after I’m always the one apologizing first though.. his family issues have gotten so bad that he is having thoughts of wanting to kill himself one time he said he wanted his family to die I told him how that scared me and we got into another argument not really an argument he just cursed at me which he never does but still scared me more lunix told me to gave a breather so I did when I came back he was fine I feel so useless I can’t help him I can’t make him feel happy does he even love me or is he trying to find excuses to live it hurts everytime he talks about it the pain everytime I feel like I tell him to stop he’ll never tell me anything so I deal with it hide the pain hide the shame I want it to End I just wanna jump off a fucking Cliff why is this so hard I just wanna talk to someone but Ed’s best friend said it makes Ed really upset when I talk about one of our fights or issues with someone else what do I do I’m so close to fucking ending myself everyday im losing more and more energy to even get out of bed..

(Lunix my sister Ed my boyfriend)

(this was originally going to be a message to an ex-friend, however I changed my mind.)

Hey there. I know it's been a while since we really talked as friends, but I just can't help seeing how you're doing. Are you doing alright? I'm not exactly there to see for myself whether you are or not. I don't know why you started ignoring me, but just know that I don't really mind anymore. I have new friends. I'm not alone anymore. Soon, I won't have any ties with you at all, and no reason to remember you. And strangely, it doesn't bother me. I'm realizing that I don't need you, never needed you, and won't need you in the future, and you know what? I don't miss you. And I don't mean that in a mean way; I'm just letting you know in my own way that I've moved on. It hurt for a while, yes, but now? It doesn't hurt anymore. Keep being you, Amy. I loved you and loved being your friend while it lasted.

Cym

I am 27 years old, working in marketing, and I honestly don’t know if I am the one being too uptight or if my coworkers are just straight-up impossible to deal with. The thing is, everyone in my team seems to treat the office like a party venue rather than a workplace. I am not exaggerating when I say that most of them are openly on cocaine or some other kind of stimulant, and they almost brag about it, like it’s part of the culture or some badge of honor. They all walk around with this wild energy, talking a mile a minute, constantly patting themselves on the back for ideas that sound more like drunken rambling than actual strategies, and it makes me feel like I’ve landed in some parody version of the advertising world. To make matters worse, they act like they are untouchable and above everyone else, speaking in this arrogant tone and treating anyone who doesn’t play along with their nonsense like some boring outsider. I try to keep things professional, but it’s exhausting when I feel like the only one in the room who actually cares about doing the job right. Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little respect and focus at work, or is it fair to think that this behavior is totally out of line? I can’t tell anymore if the problem is me not fitting in or if it really is a toxic environment that no one should have to put up with.

I keep asking myself how to deal with them without either losing my mind or completely shutting down. I don’t want to come across as some self-righteous guy who thinks he’s above everyone, but I also don’t want to compromise my own values or end up enabling behavior that feels so wrong on a basic level. It’s awkward because I can’t exactly call them out—it would make me the target, and they already treat me like I’m too “serious” or “square” just because I don’t get wasted with them after hours. At the same time, if I stay silent, I feel like I’m giving them permission to keep acting this way, and it makes me dread going into the office every single day. I wonder if the right move is to distance myself as much as possible, stick to my work, and just let them crash and burn on their own, or if I should be actively looking for a way out of this company before it takes more of a toll on me. Have you ever had coworkers like this, people who are so wrapped up in their own chaotic world that they make you doubt your own sanity? And if so, how do you handle it without becoming bitter or completely detached from your job? Because right now, it feels like I’m stuck in a bad cliché, and I’m not sure how much longer I can play along.

last night I was out with some friends and I don’t really know how to put this into words because maybe I’m just overthinking things but I’m also not sure if I did something wrong. I’m 28, a man, and honestly money is tighter for me than for some of my friends, I don’t complain because life is what it is, and we all have our situations. they suggested this restaurant and I went along, thinking “okay just enjoy it, don’t stress.” everyone started ordering these fancy meals, steaks, seafood, bottles of wine that looked very expensive, and I just felt a bit out of place. I didn’t want to be a killjoy, but I also knew if I joined in I’d end up with a credit card balance I couldn’t really manage. so I ordered one of the cheapest meals on the menu and a diet coke, I was happy with it, it filled me up and it was good enough for me. 😅 I didn’t think it was a big deal, but when the bill came everyone started saying “let’s just split it evenly, makes it easier.” I stayed quiet for a second because I didn’t want to make it awkward, but then I said politely, “actually if it’s alright I’ll just pay for my part, I only had this and that.” nobody yelled at me or anything, but the vibe shifted a little. it was like they weren’t expecting that, and I could feel eyes on me, like maybe I was being selfish or cheap. am I selfish for that? or am I just being realistic? I don’t even know anymore, because I felt like I did the fair thing.

to be clear, I didn’t refuse rudely, I just explained nicely and tried to keep a smile. I even offered to add a little bit extra for tip to make sure the waiter was treated well, because in my mind that’s the respectful part of eating out. one friend made a half joke, like “come on man, don’t be calculating, it’s just easier this way.” I laughed it off, but in my head I was thinking of the line “don’t spend money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like,” though I do like my friends, I just think the quote fits the idea. I never said that to them of course, I stayed polite. the funny part is that later one of them privately said, “yeah I get it, I should probably do the same sometimes.” so maybe I’m not alone in this feeling. I kept wondering if being honest about my finances makes me selfish, or if it’s actually more selfish to expect someone to cover an expensive share of something they didn’t eat or drink. 🤔 isn’t that an okay question? I’m not angry, I just want to see different perspectives.

in the end I don’t think it ruined the night. we still laughed, talked, and walked out together like normal friends do. I don’t hold grudges, I don’t think they do either, but there is a small part of me that wonders if next time I should just go with the flow and split evenly to avoid that moment, or if I should stick with what feels fair and honest. I like to stay hopeful that real friends will understand, that money doesn’t define connection, and maybe even that this could open small conversations about how not everyone has the same wallet. life is strange, sometimes I think it’s testing how we balance being kind to ourselves and kind to others. if you were in my shoes, would you have done the same? or would you think it’s better to pay the extra for the “group harmony”? thank you for reading, I mean that sincerely. I hope one day I won’t even worry about this stuff, but for now it’s where I am, and I want to stay positive and just keep learning.

so... am I selfish here?

it's been a wild emotional ride for me over the last few years, and who doesn't love a good rollercoaster of feelings, right??? i don't want to give my age but I am under 30, juggling life, career, and a relationship that's been steady for three years. yet here i am, still longing for my ex like a bad habit i just can't shake. ever feel like you're living in one of those cheesy romance novels where you swear you're moving on, but the protagonist just keeps pulling at your heartstrings? it's like i'm stuck in a chapter that's on repeat.

my ex??? gosh, talk about a classic case of someone who just understands your blueprint, the human API that, somehow, no one else can seem to decode. he was, or maybe is, everything you love but just can't have anymore. have any of you ever been there????? don't get me wrong, my current boyfriend is great; he's reliable like a rock-solid firewall for my emotional security, a good guy who checks all those conventional boxes. why, then, does my heart insist on taking unauthorized emotional backups of time spent with my ex??? he was a charismatic and intelligent coder whose algorithms synced perfectly with mine. he could spark these fireworks of laughter and warmth that felt more like home than home itself sometimes. "it's the past," they say, "let it go." but how do you delete code that's embedded so deep within your heart's source file??? damn, ‘ctrl+z’ doesn't work on feelings.

it’s crazy because i gain nothing from these daydreams except perhaps a cascade of emotions that flood my mental RAM with nostalgia. i've tried convincing myself again and again that i’ve moved on... you know, especially during those three a.m. self-improvement TedTalks i give to myself. yet, any unexpected notification could easily bring a memory dump, a simple name mention that effortlessly excites my synapses as i wonder where the hell his life's code has taken him nowadays. the human brain is an intricate web of neurons and chemistry, but honestly???? i sometimes wonder if it's the heart that really wears the pants in this relationship dynamic.

now listen, I'm not unfaithful or living a double life or anything, just stuck in this transitional period where one foot is on solid ground with my boyfriend and another slightly dipping its toe into a shallow pool of regret. it’s like being caught in an endless loop of emotional debugging—frustrating yet compellingly hopeful. am i the only one who feels this way??? should i just "git commit" to my current reality and disconnect from what should be a depreciating emotional asset???

the optimistic part of me is hopeful, as futile as it seems. isn't that part of life, of love????!! to hold on until something clicks into place, like a puzzle piece or a well-written script. i really believe that feelings are like machines—they require maintenance, upgrades, and sometimes, a diagnostic check. i just hope i find a way to restructure this emotional repository without corrupting it further.

and while i’m secretly rooting for an emotional resolution, my current love life condition seems like an endless test-driven dilemma with memories of the past persisting as background processes. i guess what's astonishing is how the human heart can function like a multi-threaded process, balancing multiple emotions with the grace of a precariously stacked jenga tower. for now, all i can do is keep pushing forward with this delicate balancing act, hopeful for a semantic patch that someday bridges the chasm between my past and present emotional states. so do any of you have a similar saga??? or is my heart the only one practicing this relentless emotional recursion???? tới lòng for sharing your stories, really helps to not feel alone in this digital ocean of unrequited love.

Gius... I'm really starting to feel unmotivated. I'm 31 tomorrow and working in IT as a developer for that big electric car company everyone's always hyped about. You know the one, right? (yep, the one managed by a f*ck*ng naz*) I used to be so pumped about working here. I mean, it's one of those dream jobs for a developer and I learned so much! But lately, it's been feeling like a never-ending series of sprints with no finish line in sight. The pressure is crazy. There's this huge buzz about AI and how it's "the future," and everyone seems to think it’s going to revolutionize everything overnight. 🕒 But come on, let's get real here. AI might be smart, but it's not MAGIC. So they shove a ton of expectations on us to deliver futuristic stuff with deadlines that could turn your hair gray overnight.

Ever find yourself sitting in front of your computer, just staring at the screen? That's me on most days now. It's like an endless cycle of code, meeting, code, meeting – you get the drift. And with all this AI craze, it's just getting worse. They say, “AI will take over the world,” and I'm like, yeah sure, in a sci-fi movie! I have all these questions floating around in my head about whether I'm even cut out for this anymore. Am I supposed to suddenly master all this AI stuff or get left behind like I'm some tech dinosaur? Also, the pressure of innovation is brutal – they make it sound like one small mistake and boom, you're done for. Meanwhile, everyday life just keeps speeding by while I’m stuck in this work cyclone. Everyone’s trying to keep up with the pace, probably thinking, "Is this worth it?". How do you guys deal with all this when motivation just disappears?

Guys, this may sound so ridiculous but I need help.

I've been in an orchestra in 2 months. There's a 44 y.o man that I really obsess over. I'm 18 btw.

He's a nice guy and he makes me feel like I'm not a stranger. He always notices me.

I'm so obsessed to the point that after he joined the orchestra, he's my only hope for a day of practice session. I don't want him to leave.

I don't want to be more than friends with him cause he has a wife; but I want to be in contact with him. I know that if he gets out of my life, nothing is going to happen and he's not gonna affect any aspect of my life; but I'm still worried.

I don't know if he's gonna appear in the next orchestra project or not and that's what stresses me. Also, my parents are judging me and they think I'm a devil who wants to ruin a marriage...

(I forgot to say that I had a history with this kind of obsession which led to something horrible)

_now how can I get rid of this obsessions and normalize my friendship with him, just like anything else?

The first time I saw you, my whole world changed

A love so instant, it couldn't be explained

One glance, one smile and my heart took flight

I knew I found my forever that night

Your smiles a sunrise that brightens up my day

Your laugh is the music that carries me away

Your eyes are the stars that light up my skies

A whole universe lives in the depth of you eyes

We joke about fire, a spark, a flame

But nothing on earth could burn quite the same

For you are the fire that lights up my soul

The passion, the comfort, that makes me feel whole

I cherish the moment, our very first meet

How my heart stumbled, skipped a beat

Love at first sight, it was written it's true

From that moment onwards, my heart choses you

Since then my love you've become my song

My reason, my comfort, where I belong

You're laughter in silence, light in the rain

My joy in the sunshine, my balm in the pain

No treasure compares, no riches, no gold

To the love we share, the hand I hold

For life can change and the world can bend

But my love for you will never end

Through days of wonder and nights of rest

I know with you I am truly blessed

For love like ours is a rare, bright flame

A story eternal, that no one can tame

I see our future, a thousand days

With laughter and warmth in endless ways

From morning coffees to midnight talks

To holding your hand on long, sweet walks

I dream of a home where your smile resides

Where peace and devotion forever abide

Where walls are filled with laughter and care

And every corner whispers "love lives here"

And even In moments when life feels tough

Your love alone will always be enough

For with you by my side I cannot fall

You are my strength, my heart, my all

If the years grow heavy and time runs fast

My love for you will forever last

Wrinkles may come and hair may fade

But our flame will burn the same way it was made

So take this vow, my promise, my song

With you my love is where I belong

From first song to last breath

My soul will stay true

For it's always been me

And it's always been you