Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 3

I feel whenever someone in a movie grows up, they always leave their parents to be independent, and most of the time, they leave their old parents in senior homes because they hate them for being senile. I may not be an adult nor is my mother senile, but she's sure as hell probably a liar! Mom only did this because she noticed I was lonely in and out of school. You know what she could've done to make me for tougher? She shouldn't have been my friend, she should've left me there in my own thoughts so I can finally be independent. It's how dad survived school! He failed, he learnt it the hard way, and he's fine! She should fuck herself for even thinking that! Nobody's friends with their moms, they all hate their moms! It's what movies say. Plus, mom may not smother me with love by hugging and kissing me a lot, she may not over-compliment me, nor would she come to school with me, but she will soon. She will soon! Movies say it'll happen! Her listening more to me because I'm alone with no friends? Please, she should match my kind of honesty, she should tell me how friendless I am and how stupid I am for even caring about them, like every good parent on movies. Isn't it how military men get sturdier? I should've sent her the message, "Moomy, stop calling yourself my friend. It embarrasses me and I need you to be my parent, not my buddy. I’m not negotiating this. Respect the boundary. For you to be my parent, keep distance from me, like dad. Dad doesn’t see me as powerful, so you shouldn’t feel the same way either." What I said is normal. Movies say it, people online say it, successful people say it, they leave their family behind. It's all normal. Plus, it'll benefit me a lot. I heard it will! It'll make me more independent and brave! Everyone leave their parents, right? f I tell her she's horrid, simply because the movies say so, I'll be fine, according to the movies! Who has their mom as their best friend? Only toddlers do! Nowadays I see all girls my age go on their own out to malls with their friends. Meanwhile I hang out with my family like an idiot and I'm usually with my brother and mom! What if one of my classmates see me while they hang out with their friends in some mall in the future, because I lack friends? They'll think I'm weird, right? I should be independent, not parent-relied! I should be asking them for money so I can buy things on my own, not with mom and my brother! They said friends are good to have. So, if that's the case, the longer I'm alone and with mom, I'll be depressed, get a heart attack and die! Meanwhile all my classmates have groups and so does my grade, I'm one of the odd ones out with no one! And guess what, I'll die at 30 for that reason, again, like movies! All movies from 2000s show that when you hit 30 and still haven't achieved the list of being pretty, not fat (I'm 5'4", so I should REMAIN 45kg, from 13-30), you aren't dating anyone and you don't have friends, and you work in a lame job like engineering, you're gonna either die of depression or die from obesity from being 56kg! That's fat! Point is, mom's a fucking liar. I know she's been in many hardships, her parents divorced, financial issues, she couldn't have her dream job of being a doctor (she's an engineer now), yet she's never vented, because she's always been positive? That's some anime BS where the main guy says that! BS! I'm not digging a hole, am I? I'm telling the truth. Cynicism and hopelessness works because I'm not chasing fake happiness, I'm seeking the real truth. Again, it's embarrassing I'm having a "friendship" with my Moomy and not another person from class! Who even does that now? I don't even know anyone online! She's lying! My mom, being the idiotic bitch she is, even said, "You can be happy, without friends! Look at me!" You married dad, wasn't he your friend earlier?! He may have been in one of the longest situation-ships I've ever seen (seriously, they lived in different countries for a while before meeting more and finally agreeing somehow to fall in love and they somehow didn't break up after 16 years). She may not have office-friends that she meets all the time, but she sometimes chats with them. Fuck that ugly bitch of a woman. She's a lying whore! Always lies about life! Guess what, good thing I have plans to get myself an arranged marriage at 20, it's more stable. I even hate it when people say "Hatred kills the owner, not the person the owner hates". Again, that's nonsense! I can use my anger and channel it into a life plan. When I turn 20, I'll ask my parents to arrange a marriage with some random guy, then I can do plastic surgery to look cuter, I will do brain surgery to stop having that gut feeling of thinking mom's trying really hard and I love her, because logic ALWAYS outweighs emotion, and me and my husband will take photos of us only happy together and post it on Instagram to look cute and cuddly! Doesn't every child torch the bond with their parents? Don't they all leave their old parents to die alone in an old shelter because they hate taking care of them. They're normal. Right? So, for me to set boundaries, I have to leave her behind and hate her forever. That's maturity and independence, right? I heard doing all those things are good for the child, hating and leaving your parent, because you learn to be independent and amazing. My brain telling me, "This is the same feeling girls get over their exes, it'll be fine, sugar. Stop loving your mom, she's clearly not for you. In fact, hate her." Like it's an old lady with a Jersey accent. Even if my heart deep down feels like this is more accurate and that she loves me, and she tries very hard to be a good lady and she has helped sometimes, my brain tells me it's false and a farce. Maybe my brain is correct. Isn't everyone's brain the most logical organ? Why should I care if my heart cries whenever I deny that she's trying really hard and she makes me happy because she's my mom who listens and says it's at least a good idea to tell her, because she didn't beat me or treat me worse afterwards? Who cares? My brain should be the leader. Why does my heart keep telling me mom is a great lady instead? Why does it say, "You're sounding so mean, she actually loves you so much. Please, she also tries, and you actually enjoy being with her." My brain should be the one to tell me the truth. My heart's a liar and a cheat. Even if I do something I love because my heart asks for it, and even speak to mom, I should only listen to my head. Just why? Why is my other part telling me that? To care for Moomy, because in the end, she'll never leave you like a toy on the road. It's all fucking crazy! She's a liar and my love for her needs to be removed!

i know this isnt a bigdeal but please just i need someone to talk to about this

Today my mom took me and my younger sister to the dentist, my appointment was covered by my insurance/dental plan/ whatever you call it and unfortunately my little sisters wasn't. my mom treated us to food and stuff before which is kind of a tradition of ours, eat a good meal before getting your teeth cleaned, it's fun. But after we were done with our appointment my mom hadn't realized that the people at the dentist had added more things onto my sisters tooth cleaning appointment (like xrays and whatnot) and the cost came up to 500$, my mom was upset but tried to make the best of it by reminding my little sister that she cares alot about her tooth health because alot of my mothers family is unfortunately on the poorer end and their teeth are horrible because they cant afford to go to the dentist, and she was just saying that she was happy to see my little sister be cleaned. Then my little sister for no reason started getting mad at her, saying that she wasted her time because her teeth were perfectly fine anyways and getting all pissy over having to even go? which I thought was strange because she was the one who wanted to come, and was insiting on getting food and finding a place to go and my poor mother was trying still to make the best out of it but my younger sister continued to be rude to her for no reason, and this time she was laughing and i genuinley got upset but my mom just brushed it off... (sisters 16 btw). After this our mom wanted to spend some time at us at winners cause we had to pick up my twin sister, and she was talking about how excited she was to spend time with us cause its been forever and shes grateful like we agreed to spend time with her, and the minute we step out of the car my little sisters like "Im going to the toy section at walmart" and my mom was like "Oh are you sure?" then again, she was rude and completely dismissed my mother... i came to walmart with her to supervise her purchases and she went to the toy section and was trying to be some expensive monster high dolls, i told her not to spend to much money because we already spent ALOT today for her teeth and for food. she ignored me, and insisted on buying the toys. then texted my mom who said no. i tried to get her to buy a seven dollar calico critter blindbox thing, she was onboard till she saw the LPS toys and completely dismissed me. I continued to try and be nice to her because my little sister pointedly likes my twin much more then me, and out of desperation to form a better bond with her i didnt speak up anymore, but i kept inisting on buying something cheaper. Overall when we went to winners she was more relaxed cause she got what she wanted, me and my mom searched the racks, it was fun. then me and my mom went to buy food for my twin because she was coming out of her work, first day btw, it was like the entrance thing. My little sister kept telling us that we shouldnt because we would be wrong to buy her food without letting her choose, but i insited i knew what she would like to eat because she is my twin, and i chose right cause my twin was thankful that we brought her food when we came to get her.

But even my twin was being horrible to my mom, I get everyone was tired but it was genuinley so rude i was astonished. after finding out that my twin landed the job my mom expressed her concerns about her working around men, not that she was against them or anything, but my sisters job would require her to be in private spaces alone with unknown strangers for awhile. So my mom, in intent to enlighten my twin of the harm that could potentially come her way from not being careful started telling her story about how someone tried to spike her drink in her workspace (Well actually did)... and my twin and sister laugh? they laugh in her face? and i got mad, but i didnt want them to be upset with me so i said "guys she just told you a literal traumatic event that happened to her?" and my twin said "yeah yeah ive heard it before?" .... and my mom got upset and was like "life isnt lala land you need to understand that people have bad intentions and keep yourself safe" and they continued to make fun of her I cant even write what they said without it making me so mad. She asked for a life 360, and i convinced my twin to get on board with it.. JUST SO YOU KNOW, my mom is not a control freak at all, she just worries for us which is fair. we get home and im already upset, im helping my mom with the things we purchased in the car, helping her bring them upstairs and away, and then i come to my room exhausted from the long day and my twin and sister are there. And the first thing my twin does is demand me to grab my moms credit card to pay for the tarrif she got on a package. After all that disrespect in the car you just expect me to steal her card to spend it without her permission? I said to wait till i change into my pyjamas, i change my shirt and return to my room for some pyjama pants, and there she is again demanding me to grab the card. I say no, and she gets mad. She says and i quote "I have the page open for the payment already, just go grab it i only need to type in the numbers"?? this made me super upset i gave her some snarky comment and go to ask my mom for the card and she gets mad. WHICH IS FAIR. shes upset at my twin because my twin has spent money on her card for months without her knolwedge or permission, then my twin will yell at her when shes caught and ultimately play the victim despite the fact that she actively steals hundreds of dollars from my mom every month. I manage to calm my mom down, and make a deal that my sister wont spend anymore money on her card just let her pay for the tarrifs because it was me and my twins birthday gift... my mom leaves and my sister calls her crazy unreasonable and controlive. and i got mad. but i gently suggested that we should consider how she feels because shes spent so much money today and she probably dosent like knowing she has to pay a 40 dollar tarriff on a package that was ordered against her will. and my twin was now fuming despite the fact that her and my sister were in my room without my permission and were now using my tv. to appease them i let them use my tv, i made some playful comments about the show because my little sister was making a take and she had some flawed knowledge, i corrected her and got hit, like hard. I told her "that was to far, and seriously dont do that again." and she got so mad at me and told me to stop tryna act like a parent and that it wasnt a big deal. IT wouldve been funny if it was a playful hit but that was pure malice...

I love my mom so much, and my sisters being so blatantly rude and dismissive really hurts me. it also makes me upset because these guys are always preaching being kind and understanding why people do certain things, but apparently these ideas only apply to them. I know this isnt really a big deal but today I was just so frusterated, my sisters are typically much more rude to me but seeing them be so mean to my mother then have the audacity to sit there and think theyre justified in the matter makes me so mad.

sorry if the grammar is horrible i have a pounding headache and i just wanna dump this somewhere before i go to sleep

so I just like kicked my friend's chair FOR FUN AS A JOKE I may add, and he turned around and said "Hey, don't hit me WOMAN" and I gave him a warning look and he said "Yeah, I said it!" and the teacher came over (shes w btw) and asked what was going on and my "friend" said "well SHE kicked the back of my chair and because they don't like being called a woman I called HER a SHE" and now I don't even want to be in the same room as him help me

imagine this scenario:

a teenager, he is a student, isolated from the world around him. he longs to connect with people, but circumstances have built walls he cannot climb. his school is far away, his family rarely interacts with neighbors, and his parents, being reserved and socially withdrawn, have little connection with society. he is not allowed to leave home without permission, nor to use social media. layer upon layer, these restrictions have shaped his solitude, turning what once felt like temporary boundaries into a permanent way of life.

deep down, he wants friends. he wants to belong. but fear holds him back, fear of choosing the wrong people, of being hurt, of not fitting in. he overthinks every possible interaction until the courage to act fades away. so, despite his longing, he rarely tries. instead, he watches life from the sidelines, silently hoping someone might notice him first.

there is, however, one thing that makes him feel less alone, zubeen garg. he has known zubeen’s voice since childhood, growing up with his songs woven into the background of his days, until that voice became something deeply familiar, almost like the sound of home. to him, zubeen isn’t just a distant celebrity but someone who feels close, his voice feels familiar, comforting, almost like part of his own family. when he listens to those songs, a quiet warmth rises within him, reminding him that he is assamese, part of a culture and a crowd that come alive together in zubeen’s music. watching people sing in unison at concerts makes him feel, even from afar, that he too belongs somewhere. and it isn’t a forced attachment, he genuinely loves the music, its emotion, honesty, and life. in a world where everything else feels cold and unreachable, zubeen garg’s voice is the one familiar sound that still makes him feel at home.

he had once had a girlfriend who seemed like she had stepped right out of his imagination. shy yet confident, cute, tall, caring, honest, loyal, and genuinely in love with him without a trace of resentment or immaturity. she was everything he thought he deserved, yet he rejected himself. how could someone like him, so flawed and insecure, ever be worthy of her? in his mind, she was perfect, and he was far from it. part of him felt blessed to have had her in his life, a glimpse of what happiness could look like, and yet the same thought made him feel unbearably unlucky. he didn’t want to make her life harder or bring his own imperfections into hers, so he quietly stepped back, no messages, no calls, no meets, but it wasn’t a breakup. he told her he would meet her again someday, when he had become the person he believed she deserved. until then, he stepped away from her life, carrying both gratitude and regret. if he becomes better, he might return; if not, he will watch from afar, silently wishing her the best.

physically, he believes himself weak, and to some extent, he’s right. he always wanted to be the kind of person who’s strong, fit, and good at sports, the version of himself he wishes he could become. but every school sports day reminds him how far he is from that image. each time he falls behind, it’s not the loss that hurts most, but the feeling of failing himself. he looks at others and wonders why he can’t be like them, fast, confident, effortless. every time he comes up short, the gap between who he is and who he wants to be feels wider, and that disappointment slowly turns into self-criticism.

no one validates him. he has no one to confide in, no one to truly understand what he feels. during social events, his insecurities rise to the surface. surrounded by others, he feels invisible, as if his presence makes no difference. even laughter and conversation around him seem to happen on a frequency he can’t tune into. in those moments, he doesn’t just feel left out; he feels erased.

he often finds himself questioning his own emotions. Are they real, or just the product of overthinking? is he being foolish, or is this the long-suppressed voice of his inner child, quietly crying for attention after years of being ignored? sometimes he wonders if the pain he feels is even valid, or if he’s imagining it all. he’s trapped in a loop of doubt, because no one has ever truly listened, and he’s never been given a chance to make sense of himself in the eyes of another.

he tells himself he deserves a normal life, as if the one he lives doesn’t count as one. constant worry consumes him: what will his future look like? he knows his current habits aren’t leading him toward his goals, becoming a doctor, earning respect, finding belonging, yet he feels powerless to change them.

he sees his dreams as distant fantasies, not possibilities. that thought terrifies him. he feels unlucky, unlucky to be so isolated, unlucky to have grown up in such circumstances, with these parents, this family, this school. and yet, beneath all that hopelessness, a faint spark remains, a small, stubborn belief that maybe, one day, life could still be different.

in his quiet moments, he isn’t just lonely, he feels forgotten by the world, as though he exists on the edges of everyone else’s story.

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hello everyone, i wanted to share a part of my life with you. i’ve tried my best to express it clearly and honestly. thank you for taking the time to read, i would truly appreciate any thoughts or comments. and if any part of this story feels relatable to you, i’d love for you to share your own story too.

whywhywhywhy

they hurt me but I don't know if its worth it to hold on to the anger. I don't really need to hate them anymore. so what do I do.

So I'm 15, my brother is 13. He's a major asshole. His first problem is that he never listens, I tell him something and he'd insult me but not listen even if it's genuinely good advice or I told him caring about him. I know at my age I haven't lived the world yet, but I can help him with some things. The second thing is that he always argues, he acts like all he does is not his fault. He doesn't study, not his fault. He does something stupid or harmful, not his fault. and when he gets scolded he doesn't give a fuck. Today he literally gave us all a heart attack, basically he gets out of school at 2 pm, he should've been home max at 2:20, instead while we were trying to find him everywhere on the road from school to home, contacting his classmates and friends, apparently he was bringing his friend home (who literally lives on the complete other side of the town) and he arrived home at 3 pm. Apparently his bike broke (not broke but the chain wasn't working) and he didn't bother trying to contact anyone. And now after getting a big ass scolding from my mom and literally her saying she was so fucking worried, he just kept rolling his eyes and not caring. He didn't accept on taking his phone to school just in case, so now he cannot even accompany his friends. And now this evening I'll have to hear him getting scolded and him not giving a fuck again.

I don't wanna hear any shit saying "oh but he's still growing, he's a teen." well I'm a teen too, all my friends are teens too, and none of us ever did this shit. How can someone be so selfish and such a dickhead? I always say this, he's been raised as the main character and way too cared for. I just don't get it, I wasn't this shitty at 13.

If I suddenly blinked out of existence, I know the world wouldn't change much. Life would go on for most people. The people around me wouldn't be much different if I had never existed. Someone else would be sleeping in the room I'm in. There would be someone else to fill in my empty chair. My friends would still be brave, resilient, and some would still have a tough time opening up. Even though my existence is very tiny in the grand scheme of things, I hope I have had an impact on the people around me, no matter how small. I hope I have given them something to make them smile from time to time. I hope that they remember me down the road. Even if we drift apart, I hope they still think of me every now and then. I want to be the little bit of light in someone's day that makes them believe that there is still good in the world. I want to be the type of person that others know they can come to when they need someone to give their honest opinion. I want to be someone that people can open up to without fearing judgment. I hope that my friends appreciate my quiet presence, and I hope they know that is how I show love. I hope that the people around me know how much they mean to me. I wish they knew how much I've thought about them, wanting only the best for them. Even at the expense of my own wellbeing. I want to mean something to someone. Even if it's just small compliment I have given. And it may be selfish of me, but I could die happily knowing that I had a positive impact on one person's life. I just want to know that I have meant something to someone. Then maybe I could stop telling myself that no one would notice if I was gone. Maybe then I would believe that my life hasn't been a meaningless existence.

So, I think some of read my vent in https://iiwiars.com/school/i-m-a-failure-long-version

And I showed it to my mom. She said it was nonsense of me to keep dragging this now because it already finished 2 days ago. She told me that the family still loves me, and no other family can ever love me the same way. What if she's lying? She said in life you shouldn't feel miserable and still allow yourself to change. I told her I can't change, and that I wish I could be faster because I'm slow compared to many others, but Moomy told me that it doesn't matter and I will still change and be good. What if she's lying? She also said that she can be my friend because she's my mom and so far she's been understanding. What if she's lying? She says that we all have a good time until I remember that we had a horrible argument/misunderstanding the night before, which she said she didn't forget, but she didn't wanna let it define her. What if she's lying? I'm hurt by the argument that day, and I feel like I was turned into a clown-like caricature, a "child creating her own problems to seek attention from others".

Surely I'm Belle Gibson, the Instagram lady who almost convinced the world she had cancer and they believed her genuinely (you should read the website above to know what I mean). My mom said that I shouldn't vent anymore and I should delete the thing, the big paragraphs I showed her, because it's not true. I told her that's not the point of a vent, and she said vents are apparently some stuff "people shove their ass in". Fuck her so much. I told her whenever I get angry, I wanna murder people, like, literally, and she called me a psycho. I told her I should've never said that and kept it in, but for some reason, bloody whore tells me to tell her EVERYTHING because she won't leave me behind! Bitch, you're lying, I know you are! Shut the fuck up, Moomy! Should I even call her that? It sounds wrong. Imagine having your mother as a friend, it'd be humiliating if any of my classmates saw me walk with my mom and brother in malls and not my friends, because I lack them. She told me I was good enough for now and I can improve, but not by "being miserable" because "I'm digging a deep hole I can't get out of".

I know she's been in many hardships, her parents divorced, financial issues, she couldn't have her dream job of being a doctor (she's an engineer now), yet she's never vented, because she's always been positive? That's some anime BS where the main guy says that! BS! I'm not digging a hole, am I? I'm telling the truth. Cynicism and hopelessness works because I'm not chasing fake happiness, I'm seeking the real truth. Again, it's embarrassing I'm having a "friendship" with my Moomy and not another person from class! Who even does that now? I don't even know anyone online! She's lying!

i applied to this academic org. in my school a while back and i was in the group on our school website when the congrats post was sent out. i just found out i had no access to the group today and sent an email to the advisor who said i never submitted the form. i am crashing out because i don't understand why i wouldn't have been removed before the congrats post was sent out if my form was really not submitted. i remember clearly the screen saying "your form has been submitted" but the form did not allow me to save my response, so now i have no record of me actually submitting the form. i just feel like my future is ruined because this was really important to me. i have a google doc where i typed up my answers and obviously i have the version history for that, and my parents are going to talk to the principal, but i just don't know if that will be enough because there is no evidence of me submitting the form unless it's from their end. and again, they said they 'triple checked' and i hadn't submitted it. is it possible they're out to get me or something? i just feel lost.

Moomy, sorry if I swear in some of these and please promise not to get angry because I haven’t told anyone this and I feel like crap anyways

I couldn't finish 3 of my exams. I couldn't the last 2 questions of biology, I couldn't finish 1 section in Hindi, and I couldn't finish half the paper in maths. I will fail even all the subjects. Maybe I didn't study enough for all of them. I'm a failure to everyone. I'm a failure in life. I don't have friends, I studied but I didn't have practice, I'm apparently rude to everyone and everything, I can't even draw like my beloved artists, I can't do art in the future because you'll replace me, and I won't pass school next year. It may be the second term and I have one more, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. I've never been. The list should've helped me because I would've been a great human, not the defective fetus my parents were given. That's all I am. Failure. Always will be, unless I figure out a way to just stop. Stop harming others with this mess, because my existence of failing alone is bad.

Nobody wants a failure, nobody wants to fail. Because look where failure got others. People failed to check the reactor core of Chernobyl, many people of Ukraine and other countries died. Someone scored very low in school, he was held back a year and continues like that, even though he's happy now. Someone failed a driving test, so they never drive again because they probably ran over someone. Someone failed an exam, and their parents beat the hell out of them or they get horrible treatment. Someone out there failed to get his family any food in a poor village and they die. Someone who was a topper in 8th became a failure in 12th and never ever got accepted to any college EVER. See? Failure hurts and it destroys. It’s like a cancer, a mutation which occurs when a DNA code fails. Failure’s a prion, a cancer, a mutation. I hate it when books tell kids in school, failure should help you learn. It helped me learn to not fail and resent it. My parents may have been fine, but I don't care. I'm a failure, and I should leave the house because I said so. Dad's right when he says lots of Indian families hate failure, I should too. He's not right when he says it's not good. Stop lying, dad!

Look where it f—king got me. I feel like I failed in everything. How am I gonna make it in this world? I won't. If I fail in one more thing, I'm a useless child. I hate it when they say you can learn and do better from failure. I hate it when dad says not to fear failure. Look where failure got others in the real world! Death! Destruction! Famine! Held back a year! Loss of friends! Abuse! More death! This will happen to me. It will. Didn't failure hurt them?

That's why I'm a problem. I may have been born by loving parents, but right now I feel like they secretly hate me, even though they seem fine. I burnt everything I touched, maybe this fail is it. I failed at maintaining 1 friend, at succeeding exams, at being nice and humorous, at being smart, at looking good and being in the trend, many things. I'm pathetic. I'm the worst thing ever to happen. Why even though I studied I couldn't finish the paper? I'm too slow like a snail, that is! I’m fat, ogre-like and as ugly as someone’s hairy armpits. I hate it when my mom said not to think on her behalf. Making predictions is what we do. Stock workers do it to predict the market trends. Even if she scored 5th topper IN SCHOOL, why is she telling me she also failed? It's a lie! Farce! Fake! Farzi! She's lying that she failed. She's not showing love, it's a story she cooked out of her mother-head to comfort her child. If I hate myself, I'll get better. I'm a worthless, useless, piece of sh-t, v—na candle smelling, stupid, pig-like, hairy, baboon-ish creature who deserves to not live for all her f—king failures. If I hate myself, I'll get better. Isn't it how it works? I admit my failure, I remind myself of them again and again, and I'll improve. It’s what I’ve been told by someone I don’t remember a long time ago.

My high was a waste. My high of feeling better and more confident was an utter waste pulled out my a-s that I really regret because I feel so stupid. Don’t try to convince me failure is good for me. Failure is bad for everyone. Remember my examples? They’re true! I feel more useless than ever. Like my high of positivity and small confidence was wasted. What do you mean I should think more positive, if this is the sandpit it got me to? I hate it when people say it. I’m sorry, but I also hate the fact even my own family hates cynicism and honesty, even though dad embodies both. Hatred of oneself happens when that person understands they are nothing more than their flaws. I’m nothing more than a stupid, short, fat, hairy, ugly, brace-faced, curly-haired, unskilled, lazy, abusive sister, daughter, girl and even human being. Being “positive” is stupid. Look where hoping got me. I didn’t f-cking finish the goddamn paper. My hope that I will finish was a farce and a fart. Listen here, stupid sheeple. POSITIVITY GETS YOU NOWHERE. Say it louder for the people at the back! Don’t tell me to care for myself and look at things to make me happy. Don’t tell me to “LIST PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS WELL AS THINGS

YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO.” “LOOK AT POSITIVE IMAGES AND THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD.” or even the stupidest, dumbest and most STINKIEST one, “WRITE DOWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND THEN RIP THEM UP OR THROW THEM AWAY.” How the actual hell does ripping up your negative make you better? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANYONE FEEL BETTER, FAKE SCIENTIST! I’M A PRODIGY, A TINFOIL-WEARER IN THE MATRIX OF FOOLS! DON’T SAY SUCH STUPIDITY, YOU HAGS, SLOTHS, MORONS, HAIR-EATERS!

Dad now thinks I’m a lying, dramatic, piece-of-sh-t daughter who’s only doing this to piss him off. Wow, great observation father! I just love how smart you are! I’m not upset, I’m aroused! I AM a psychopathic, cringe daughter! I am the Belle Gibson wannabe who successfully fooled the goddamn world into thinking she’s got cancer, when bloody lady’s got everything fine and set out for her! I’m a girl who’s farting out problems, and using my tongue! Ever considered cutting it off and removing my teeth? B-TCH?! WANNA F-CKING HURT ME? GO AHEAD. Not that you care if whatever I’m going through now is real or fake, I’m Belle Gibson, Moriarty, Kokichi, all chronic liars! I’M A LIE! And lies deserve to be killed and obliterated by God! IS GOD EVEN REAL? I don’t care, go ahead! Send me away to a sh-t Indian school where nobody cares and they all beat and probably r-pe me, because guess what, I’m toughening up! I’m having the ass of a monkey, callouses as hard a stone!! I’M THE LIAR I’M THE LIAR I’M THE LIAR GOD IS REAL I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED I’M A LIAR I DESERVE TO NOT HAVE LOVE I’M A LIAR AND I SHOULD BE JAILED AND TORTURED AND R-PED AND KILLED AND SLAUGHTERED AND EATEN!!

So don’t even begin to think about how I can improve, because I can never, ever, ever succeed next unit, or ever, in life for ANYTHING. Plain and simple, 1 + 1 = 2.

I’m really needing to vent about my current relationship. We’ve been together for 2.5 years now, living together for 1.5 years. I am starting to lose hope in our relationship. When we first started dating we agreed to get engaged around 3 years together. He promised me he wouldn’t make me wait that long, 2.5 years at max. Well now we are at that mark and he hasn’t done anything to move it along. Ive mentioned it to him numerous times and I genuinely feel like if we make it to year 3 without that commitment then I’m throwing in the towel. At least moving out, if not completely ending the relationship. We are in our 30s and I have fertility issues as is. We are both steady in our careers and our families love us together and get along great. We have some money saved up as well. I want to have kids within the next 3 years and he says he does too. Additionally, my mother passed away five years ago and my father is passing from dementia. It would mean the world to me for my dad to at least be there when I’m engaged, which I have expressed to my partner. At this point it seems we’re on different pages. I really don’t want to start over with someone new but I feel like we don’t have the same priorities and it’s becoming so exhausting. I’m really looking for some advice because I feel so helpless…

sorry wrong category maybe again, i would consider this to be about personal shortcomings but couldnt find it

im wondering right now how does all the rich gigachad men not be sensitive and stay cool always, i never understood it but im aware im too sensitive and reactive, too irritable, i hate how little control i have over so many things in life, how i would improve the world and do things differently, but its fucking my mental health seriously and idk how to overcome it, i want it to stop and me not have to act on everything or be worried too much, how would gigachad men handle this and be more happy cuz bad thoughts dont easily effect them

When I moved in with my dads parents his mom said that I could bring my 2 cats with me and now she made me put their litter box outside because according to her its making her house stink even though its upstairs in the bathoom in a corner and the bathroom is in my bedroom to which I havent smelt it I only smell it when I need to clean it. Shes also been accusing my cats of spraying because she smells cat spray even though my dad and grandpa have both been upstairs with me and havent smelt cat spray (My dad claims he can smell a sneeze on peoples hands so I believe if he cant smell it then they arent spraying). Thinks they will have more joy outside when I keep telling her yes they were inside outside cats at my previous place but she wont listen and she also wants them to hunt rats/mice for her.

So me and my girlfriend hav been dating for around 5 months and it's been amazing I've never felt happier. Until recently she's become really obsessive and stopping me from going out with friends and family because when I do she tells me that I'm ignoring her and threatens to hurt herself and a bunch of other stuff. I love her to bits but her change has really put me out of it and idk what to do

I couldn't finish 3 of my exams. I couldn't the last 2 questions of biology, I couldn't finish 1 section in Hindi, and I couldn't finish half the paper in maths. I will fail even all the subjects. Maybe I didn't study enough for all of them. I'm a failure to everyone. I'm a failure in life. I don't have friends, I studied but I didn't have practice, I'm apparently rude to everyone and everything, I can't even draw like my beloved artists, I can't do art in the future because you'll replace me, and I won't pass school next year. It may be the second term and I have one more, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. I've never been. The list should've helped me because I would've been a great human, not the defective fetus my parents were given. That's all I am. Failure. Always will be, unless I figure out a way to just stop. Stop harming others with this mess, because my existence of failing alone is bad.

Nobody wants a failure, nobody wants to fail. Because look where failure got others. People failed to check the reactor core of Chernobyl, many people of Ukraine and other countries died. Someone scored very low in school, he was held back a year and continues like that, even though he's happy now. Someone failed a driving test, so they never drive again because they probably ran over someone. Someone failed an exam, and their parents beat the hell out of them or they get horrible treatment. Someone out there failed to get his family any food in a poor village and they die. See? Failure hurts and it destroys. I hate it when books tell kids in school failure should help you learn. It helped me learn to not fail and resent it. My parents may have been fine, but I don't care. I'm a failure, and I should leave the house because I said so. Dad's right when he says lots of Indian families hate failure, I should too. He's not right when he says it's not good.

Look where it fucking got me. I feel like I failed in everything. How am I gonna make it in this world? I won't. If I fail in one more thing, I'm a useless child. I hate it when they say you can learn and do better from failure. I hate it when dad says not to fear failure. Look where failure got others in the real world! Death! Destruction! Famine! Held back a year! Abuse! More death! This will happen to me. It will. Didn't failure hurt them?

That's why I'm a problem. I may have been born by loving parents, but right now I feel like they secretly hate me, even though they seem fine. I burnt everything I touched, maybe this fail is it. I failed at maintaining 1 friend, at succeeding exams, at being nice and humorous, at being smart, at looking good and being in the trend, many things. I'm pathetic. I'm the worst thing ever to happen. Why even though I studied I couldn't finish the paper? I'm too slow like a snail, that is! I hate it when my mom said not to think on her behalf. Making predictions is what we do. So even if she scored 5th topper IN SCHOOL, why is she telling me she also failed? It's a lie! Farce! She's lying that she failed. She's not showing love, it's a story she cooked out of her ass. If I hate myself, I'll get better. I'm a worthless, useless, piece of shit, vagina candle smelling, stupid, pig-like, hairy, baboon-ish creature who deserves to not live for all her fucking failures.