Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 3

Okay, so here's the deal: it's been a real mess at home lately. My parents have been at each other's throats non-stop for the past three months. You know how it is. Like, my dad lost his job and it's been tough on all of us. But he’s started drinking a lot, and that's set the whole mood on fire with constant arguing. I’m 17, and honestly, I’d much rather be doing anything else than playing referee in World War III every evening. It’s exhausting, man! Sometimes I wonder if I should just lock myself in my room and play loud music, but that doesn’t really solve anything, does it?

Being 17 in this family circus means I’m stuck in between – too young to really leave, but old enough to get what's happening around me. When they're in their shouting match mode, I try to disappear. I'll hide out in my room or take a long shower. But then, there's times when I feel like I have to step in and play the peacekeeper, which just sucks. I miss the times when things were normal, or at least more chill, before all this job loss and booze-induced madness. It’s like walking on eggshells, and you never know when one’s gonna crack and set everything off again. It’s frustrating as hell. Honestly, sometimes I question why I even bother when they're both acting like children.

I guess I'm trying to figure out the best way to navigate all of this. It's not like there's a manual for surviving parents in a never-ending argument. I've tried distracting myself with my friends and school stuff, but it only lasts so long. So, I've started journaling, which helps me untangle some of the emotional knots. I get to pour it all out on paper – anger, sadness, confusion, you name it. It gives me a sense of relief and a chance to see things clearly. Plus, finding some calm in this chaos lets me think of ways to help, but you can only do so much before you have to protect your own sanity. I still hang onto hope that they’ll figure it out; maybe this is just a bump in the road, not the end of the line. Got to stay positive, right?

I’m not a therapist, but sometimes I feel like one. It’s rough when you’re the kid turning into the adult because the grown-ups aren’t able to hold their own. Honestly, if anyone reading this has been through the same, what did you do? In those moments when it's too much to handle, I remind myself that it’s not my responsibility to fix everything. Sometimes, people just need time and space to work through their chaos. But still, it’d be nice to come home to a couple of smiles than another round of screaming. I guess I’ll keep hoping for peace, writing my way through the mess, and grabbing any slice of normality I can find. It can’t be this crazy forever, right? 🤞

So I was sexually assaulted, abused and groomed at a very young age by another minor she was my best friend and everything she did to me I struggle with being hypersexual and suicidal + I cannot like myself or be healthy in a friendship with anyone I keep hurting the people around me and I am a very very bad person she made me this version of me and to this day I think it's my fault for being naive enough to let her ruin me I still look at that little girl and think she's so stupid she's getting beaten up on a daily, bullied, humiliated, forced to think she's disgusting, ugly and whatever else you can think of the night I got assaulted it was the only time I was allowed to sleep at her house she was weird the whole day making me change in front of her because girls must show each other everything I made it clear I didn't want to and it led to her taking off my shirt and fondling me this night ruined my sexual drive I have an addiction now and I absolutely feel disgusting and hate myself my body and my life but I want to continue living and to be happy so if anyone is reading this please help me through text (sorry for little to no punctuation and shitty grammar I am not from an English speaking country)

I'm scared of dying in my sleep, knowing that it can happen at any time. And you wouldn't even know because you won't wake up if it happens,

you lay in bed and close your eyes, ready to go to bed and wake up the next morning but the fear sometimes lingers with me. Which sounds stupid when you say it out loud because it would be the most peaceful way to go right?

but at the same time, i feel like to me it's the hardest way. Not the aftermath of it, but just knowing it could happen and what others would think. You don't get to say goodbye, you can't give a last message. What would my online friends think? that i ghosted them but in reality i died?

It's the being afraid of dying before living life to my fullest. What if i die before getting to live as a guy? before i come out. If the last thing they know me as is a girl when all i want to be seen as is a guy. Is that just part of the fear? the fear of dying, but also the fear of leaving things unfinished. Like there’s still so much you haven’t gotten to do yet? I know i will die someday but it's always a feeling that stays because what if i don’t get the chance to be me before that happens?

It’s just one of those thoughts that makes everything feel a little more real than i want it to feel. Sometimes i'm stuck staring at the ceiling trying to distract myself with the thought that i will wake up. But my brain just circles back like it’s looking for an answer that doesn’t exist. Because you won't know if you don't wake up.

Am i just afraid of dying young? and is there a way to ease this feeling a little?

You know what is MEFCC, right? The Middle East Film Comic Con? I know. It got postponed to September 11-13. Yay. I thought I could go on April, in a new school year, finishing exams, doing my Joseph Joestar cosplay decent for a first attempt, meet people who are like me, and have fun. But there is war going on in Dubai, which is also my home. I’m in India now, for god knows how long. I thought I could go in April, but it postponed. I thought things could improve, but this process it can’t. I don’t know why I’ve been so hopeful back then. What was the point? What is the point of trying to have fun here in India? It’s like cheering when you failed. I’ll still be friendless, I’ll still score low, I’ll never be able to control my home or myself. That’s why it sucks. I can’t ever control anything. My home could blow up and I could end up alone here. Iran could nuke UAE, Saudi and Qatar to prove that they destroyed the world, and the USA isn’t doing anything to stop this from getting worse, only worsening. It’s all timed right after my birthday. I shall never celebrate again, if this is all that’s been happening, getting worse as I age. I’m not gonna go because of this. It’s a cheers to something hopeless. I’ve lost everything before I even got to live newly. My exams got cancelled, which is fine, but what was that effort for? It never mattered. I never did. I knew I was a waste of space.

I was a waste of space, oxygen, life and money. No wonder I’ve got no friends. I didn’t actually matter. Every time I think I’m good, I go back to zero. This isn’t even zero, this is minus. I hurt everything by being myself. I shouldn’t have even asked this. I wouldn’t have been this hurt. Every time I go back to being worthless. Because I am worthless, I always was. My life so far has always been me failing right when I think I’ve gotten better. I should just stop and wish I never was this way. Wish I was normal. I should’ve been thrown away right when I was born. I was born bad. I was born lame. I was born with a cleft palate, which was fixed early, but I should’ve not been so invested so early. I wish I wasn’t exciting, even at home. That way it wouldn’t hurt as much.

My home is destroyed. UAE is destroyed. I spoke to my mom and brother. Mom messaged that she’s happy for me that it’s at least postponed (she guessed it by the way), the world’s problems aren’t mine to solve and I’m not a peace activist, no one expects me to fix the world, I can learn to control my feelings, she thought it was dumb of me to assume that Trump would specifically blow up our home, we’re not at complete war, and that Iran isn’t dumb enough to hit the richer countries with oil because the whole world’s economy would collapse, and I should have fun in India because relatives are here. My younger brother said that Iran won’t hit UAE in oil ports or citizens because “they’re friends” due to the oil and only attacked the US bases, but that I should keep trying, because he said what if I war never back to 0, but still at 50, like I usually was, just shaking? Doesn’t change the fact I’m behind others, they’re at 80 while I was at 50, now minus. I’m still at minus. I’m still worthless. I still have no chances anymore, and that I’m worthless in India. I only matter to my relatives and my main family, and even then, I’m even more of a nobody here.

I don’t know if it’ll get better. Maybe I’ll be here as my new home. Everything may be reducing here, but it won’t be the same. Lesser people will be in UAE because it’s not the safest country. They’ll think it’s dangerous now, because it’s in Middle East. All western movies say that, and they’re right. There’s no point anyways. My parents are delusional for saying we’re here for 3 weeks. We’ll be here for 3-9 months! How do I know? World war 3 is already happening. And I can stop this off I figure or some way to just not be me or change myself in the new school here or die from the world exploding from nukes!

Look what being me did. It hurt me more than help. It’s not good to have weird interests, or value friendships so much, or dress up, or have your family as your friend, or having eczema, or having braces, or having short hair as a girl even when you only cut it to reduce rash in your scalp to only one small location, even when you’re short. I’m stupid. That’s why I have no friends, I scored badly at school for a few exams, and worst of all, my family is my only friendship. At 14, I should be having more outside friends and I don’t know, hate family, and have fun and not value them too much. Or if I do have a group who only likes me if I act a certain way, I hate that I can’t change into them so fast. Why can’t I change myself to be them?

I’ve lost all chances. I always turn down people whenever they talk badly about some friends of theirs being their backs, or when they ignore me even if I tried I try to make myself happy, it’s a bad habit. I’m too goody-two-shoes, I need to revel in some way to be a teenager. I’m 14, I should’ve done something rebellious earlier! Now with the war, which all my relatives here are saying, it’s worse. Even with people here, they were only interested at first because I came from Dubai, otherwise they’d ignore me. That’s okay, I don’t like me either. I really need to stop celebrating birthdays. It’s always bad luck, this war happened right after. It means growing up is realizing you’re not great to anyone. Why haven’t I died in the womb? I made my mom fat and had her be my friend. It sucks. That cleft palate shouldn’t have been my only flaw, I should’ve had something else. I make things worse. For me and for my family. Why do I even have good relations with family only? It’s every kid’s nightmare. Right? Plus, what normal kid’s home could get bombed?

Now all I have are a bunch of drawing books, craft supplies and markers. I can draw but how can that fix anything? I even have my earphones and music stuff, but again, can’t fix anything. It’s like toasting when the world is exploding. Pointless. So, yeah, how’s drawing and listening to music gonna help? I’m just drawing, with colors, that’s weird right when my home could blow up with a nuke. It’s not like my cool music taste is gonna fix everything. Mangalore is cool, but it’s not home.

I’m not even as good as I used to be. I try drawing differently, and it’s inconsistent. Earlier it used to be consistent, but now with me trying a new style. It’s not even as good as Araki’s, which I’m a fan of JJBA now. Yeah, one of the more niche Shonen ones out there. Not as new as JJK or Demon Slayer. His style is so immaculate and cool, and mine is a mimicry of that, a pathetic one. It still looks like mine, except I changed the face and some stuff, but even then, the lines and proportions are somewhat inconsistent. It sucks. I never improved. I only went backwards. I shouldn’t even draw. I don’t even know why I like some of them.

Hi! I'm Cara. so

A year ago, i became friends with this girl named.. lets just call her Ashlie. SO just for context, I'm athiest/humanist. She is just regular latter day saint. Ashlie and I share a ton of classes, and are in the same social group. Ash has been subtly saying these... comments. for example, I was out with Jaylen, Luna, and Ash. Literally at Subway(the sandwich store) and it's 90 something degrees. Luna compliments my crop top and asks where it's from. I told her and then Ash goes, "Those clothes provoke lust. we should stop by TJ MAXX to get you a new shirt." she said that with dead seriousness btw .Jaylen gives Ashlie a look to shut up, sensing I'm irritated. Jaylen and Luna are Christian also, but not hardcore. Luna goes, "Ash, it's 90 degrees, why do you care what Cara's wearing?" Ash looked awkwardly scandalized. I had finally had enough of the past 6 months of these small comments snowballing into this. "Ashlie, you know I'm not Christian. I get you're saying you're helping, but you're just being overbearing. If you have such a big reaction to my clothes, why are you still here? And let me point out that Luna and Jaylen are in the same branch of Christianity and you out of them three are the only one questioning my outfit." Deadass I dunno if I should remain friends with her or act distant. She is much more popular with people and could easily turn my reputation to shit.

NOTE!

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i couldn't sleep for a year, because he left me. i still miss him sometimes. when i have a beautiful moment or day, and want to share it with him. i miss him like i miss my childhood. i won't be able to reach you, but i will remember. i hope you will be fine, i always mention you in my prayers. forgive me, my love. maybe next time

I'm 16 years old ftm and gay.

I've accepted myself ever since i've figured out i was trans, i've always been an ally of the lgbtqia+ community and i always will be.

The thing i struggle with is hearing all the negative comments about the trans community and about the lgbtqia+ community in general. Because no matter where you are there will always be someone who doesn't accept it. I understand people have different views of things, but why do we normalise hatred so much? love is love and trans men are men. And the same goes for trans women they ARE women.

It fills me with rage that people can't let other people be who they are. You don't choose to be trans or gay, it's not a choice and it isin't just something that can be 'fixed'. Hearing people say things like "being gay is just wrong" or "being trans is bullshit" really hurts. I don't judge people for being straight, because love is love right?Why should we bring someone down just because they don't fit the standard?

I personally don't watch the last of us but why would you cast someone who is cis to play the role of someone who is trans? it WILL hurt the trans community, because to someone people it will be seen as "trans men ARE women" when they are NOT. They had the opportunity to cast a trans ftm teen, and to some people it isin't that serious. But it IS that serious. We deserve good representation and i wish that other people could see that we are human too.

We aren't freaks, no it's not just a phase we are going through, just because we don't fit the so called 'norm' doesn't mean we don't deserve to be treated the same way.

This is about friends and dating. Not super serious but serious enough. So I downloaded this app, it was for anything, hookups, friends, relationships. I mainly got alot of older men so I deleted it. Before I did tho, I saw a guy on there, he was low-key my type, literally the only other alt guy on there. I didn't text him due to my overthinking and feeling too chopped rn, huge regret Ik but it also feels stupid dwelling on this when there are many guys I could meet out there. I remember being friends with a guy I found attractive at the time and he had a boyfriend, I don't think I can try that again, I was super jealous and trying to please him.

Anyways, even so, I felt too dysphoric to do actually do anything with the guys, like meeting up. I have a girl voice and I don't want people hearing that. It's why it's hard to make friends or anything.

I've also been pretty insecure about my looks, specifically the hair, I got a new hairstyle, thinking I'd like it but I don't. The reason I got it is because of depression, it's hard taking care of the other hairstyle but the one I have? It's easier.

I just wanna self isolate until I I fix all my gender problems. I'm a trans guy. I guess I could try and make friends again online but I don't see how that would help. People talking these magical friends who you'll meet online and will support you always but I don't think that's something I'll have, I'm already hiding myself behind a screen, so what vulnerability?

Before those hobbies questions come...I already workout, dance, sit outside, watch shows, and watch video games.

Any advice is appreciated<3

Alright, so I'm 39 and trying not to freak out, but it's hard not to feel like something ominous is scribbled across my life's blueprint. could it be the algorithm of stress, or maybe just the faulty wiring in my overthinking brain? the days scrape by and I've got this stupid itch, like a ticker tape in my head whispering "tick-tock, hun, something's coming." you ever stand in the shower and just watch the water swirl down the drain while wondering if you're circling right down with it??? bizarre, right? but seriously, what the hell is this gut-churning sense of doom that just lounges in my living room like it pays rent?

i blame it on the 'midlife crisis' stigma, which surely must be some twisted rite of passage. but i don't own a convertible or an absurdly-priced leather jacket, just a morbid fascination with my own mortality. is there an existential influencer somewhere saying, "and now you'll dread your birthday cake candles"? at this age, you'd think I'd have unlocked some dispassionate wisdom from life's inventory, but nah, feels like i'm playing a video game with a walkthrough written in pencil!!! like howdy, could someone patch this glitch, please? no cheat codes here, just wish I could delete this morose save file, you know?

but here's the thing, if i dust off my therapist's favorite cliches, it's like hitting pause and rebooting with optimism... "change is good!" or that irritating serene vibe of "you've got this." tedious but they might be onto something!!! i mean, statistically, with all the variables, I could live to garden with my grandkids, dodging any hardware bug life throws my way. don't you think it's hilarious how we can be both the protagonist and the heckler in our life’s script? maybe we're all just late-night telethon hosts, presenting dramatic predictions about the apocalypse of our souls. pfft, if i can troubleshoot systems as complicated as my own, enjoying that last cookie guilt-free seems doable enough. maybe, just maybe, this isn't some final destination trailer after all, but just a low-budget pilot for figuring out what it means to really live!

It feels very uncomfortable when you had weeks (Eid Mubarak holidays) just being drenched in your room and not doing anything besides doom-scrolling on whatever the fuck sake platform you are on, I just felt like that because I felt so many things are so pointless whether I tried so many stuff so many stuff to do so I have some purpose, I don't really feel that my own self is very anxious, but generally I think I do because how many times I felt not being able to speak, but you know what I just found out I can really reach out to speak to any people, It's just I can't manage that how people would like to perceive myself, When I tried to be myself i just think that I am so fragile to being social 'cause of the words I am arranging that may be apparently awkward, this happens to so many groups of people I am trying to fit in, it turns out to be not so good, and all of these, me being very awkward makes myself being so outrageous and indecisive because I can't be better, I almost wiped out half of my house interiors because of all of the suffering, but I've had the chance of being serene for myself because I had this one girl I can be friends with, now I felt like me and her are just a distant acquintances because for some reason she's attracted with the group of boys in my class, this particular group of boys is the one I've tried to reach out with and felt so fragile because I cannot adapt with their behaviours and banter, that's why I didn't try to get to her again, and then I've tried to DM her, asking if we can be friends again like so back, she replied that we'll be friends no matter what, all the agony from myself got supressed after I chatted to her about this, but turns out it's just a short-term of cooling down, in the next few days I sent her messages that is left on read, now it gaves so much clarity that any of these being fit to the society shit are pointless, I've worsened myself because I am in the current phase of being indecisive because I'm tired of my attempts, But you know I would like to know if it keeps even getting worse so that I can enliven this shit instead of giving me frenzy BS that keeps make me despairing every hope, If you read this maybe you would be speechless because I may be typing shit, but if you understood any of these I'll be in touch for your insights whether it's a critic with blasphemy or not.

Hello all , so I just wanted to vent out my anger here because of my toxic household. I'm tired of having the victim mentality and of them . Everytime my asshole,pimp brother takes undue advantage of the situation and tries to put an argument ofr a fight between me and my parents . I feel like killing him to death. Everyone's controlling here. I can't even take or hoose clothes according to my choice. just fed up of this shit now . i dont want to live here anymore , always making me count things ,oing comparison between me and my brother . I'm scared to love anyone . she'll stab me to death . no such nonsense is enyertained here. I'm just waiting to move out yet they're behaving like this. I don't want anyone. so tired and exhausted of never giving up and the things which have togo through.

so I'm a very easily irritated person. I'm a little insecure about the way my body looks so I usually just take selfies. I don't like taking pictures of my body.

Today, my family and I went to this one place it was very beautiful. I told them I just wanted to take a selfie. Then my sister keeps on asking me why not, why not, I got a little irritated. Then she said that I don't even want to take pictures with my own mother. The way she talks always makes me look bad.

Now my mother is taking her side saying why did I act out. She always makes me ruin the mood. Because everyone knows how I am so they never blame my sister. They blame me because I'm the one that got mad. I never said I didn't want to take pictures I just wanted to take selfies only that's all.

And somehow I'm the problem again.

She always does this. She always pushes me to the edge. I get mad. I'm the problem.

Just because of a single picture, to them I ruined the whole experience

It all started a year ago when I made what I thought was the best decision of my life. At 31, I believed it was time to leave my stable job in IT behind and dive into the world of entrepreneurship. With big dreams and a heart full of optimism, I launched my very own startup, a SaaS platform I was sure would revolutionize the industry. Like, genuinely, who knew the wave of AI would come crashing down like this?? I figured I had everything planned perfectly. But, man, was I wrong...

The competition was like nothing I could have ever imagined!!! Random people, just like me, were popping up everywhere, launching their own startups left and right. It was as if every corner I turned, there was a new challenger, a new innovation, leaving me perpetually chasing my own tail. The market felt saturated, and I started to doubt whether I even stood a chance in this vast ocean of tech geniuses. Every day felt like a losing battle and my once-thriving enthusiasm quickly turned into a somber reality.

To add insult to injury, finding my footing back into the job market has been nothing short of a nightmare. Who would have thought that stepping out for a bit would make re-entry so darn difficult??? I compiled my resume, updated my LinkedIn, and started the arduous process of networking, only to find out most employers were more interested in AI-savvy candidates or fresh graduates with the latest knowledge. Can you blame them, though? I mean, keeping up with technology nowadays feels like chasing a bullet train. Nonetheless, my confidence has taken a serious hit...

It's not that I regret my decision to pursue my own path, but, wow, it's been one heck of a ride that's left me questioning my choices. Why didn't anyone tell me that sometimes chasing your dreams smashes you right smack into a brick wall?? I asked myself if maybe I'd been too hopeful, too naïve, to think that an idea alone would secure success. I wonder how many others out there have been in my shoes, finding themselves between a rock and a hard place, trying to crawl out. It's tough, and I definitely did not anticipate this level of difficulty.

Looking back, one might call it a "learning experience," but I'm just trying to pick up the pieces now. At least, the lessons I've learned along the way could fill a book! But hey, life isn't about regrets, it's about moving forward, right? Though my venture didn't pan out as I had hoped, maybe another door will open... eventually. In the meantime, I'll keep pushing through, exploring new avenues, and retaining the hope that tomorrow might bring better opportunities! 😉 Am I alone in this, or are there others who feel this struggle, too??

i have been sh free for four years and that ended today. but today i realized almost everyday for the past four years ive thought about sh or wanting to kms but i just convinced myself that the depression diagnoisis is wrong and that im happy and content with my life when everything has been wrong. everyday i wake up and wish i died in my sleep or driving to school in a car crash or maybe something would fall on me or i would just be unlucky and fall through a floor or something. ive never told this to anyone ever. my world has been crashing down on me this year i hate me i hate college apps i hate life and school and everything. i am confused and sad and tired. help

[Translated from Ukrainian. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I stayed silent about this for a long time. A very long time. But, apparently, the time has finally come to tell the truth. Not polished, not “neat,” but real.

These two years of my relationship were not just a difficult period for me. They were two years that broke me morally, emotionally, and psychologically. And I know that many people do not even realize just how deeply.

It all started beautifully. Truly beautifully. It was happiness, joy, teenage passion, the feeling that I was needed, loved, chosen. I believed in him. I believed in us. I believed that if a person looked at you a certain way, said certain words, promised certain things, then it was not for nothing. Back then I really did love, and I gave myself sincerely.

Then I got pregnant. And from that moment, a completely different reality began.

It was not just shock. It was fear, guilt, panic, an inner rupture.

The choice of whether to keep or get rid of the child. And at the same time, his pleading to keep the baby. His words that he would stay by my side. That he would do everything for us. That he would not leave. That he would handle it. That I would not be alone. That he would be a man, a father, a support.

I believed him.

And then reality began to completely destroy me. His broken promises, betrayals, lies, screenshots of messages, unfamiliar girls in our home, while I was in labor, when I was in my most vulnerable state and was texting him about how scared and how much pain I was in. Every new betrayal tore me to pieces, every lie was another blow to my psyche.

Financial dependence was finishing me off in its own way. When you are morally exhausted, with a child who needs constant attention, and you realize that your stability depends on a person who keeps hurting you, it is a trap. You live in constant fear and tension. The fear of his outbursts of aggression, of broken things, haunted me all the time.

Taking care of the child also became a heavy burden. Because of stress, I lost my milk at six months. I felt guilt, confusion, and despair, because I wanted to give my child everything, and I could not. That only added even more inner tension and a sense of helplessness.

My inner world was collapsing. Questions kept spinning in my head: “Why am I alive?” “Maybe it would be better if I were gone?” And these were not just sad thoughts. It was the scream of a psyche that could no longer endure it.

Self-harm became a way to survive. At first it was pulling out my hair, then a failed suicide attempt, then cutting. It was despair, a scream inside myself, an attempt to let out pain that could not find a way out. And it was a real, honest feeling that shows just how deeply broken I was.

And the worst part was that in those moments there was no one who could fully accept me. I wrote to ChatGPT. It was the only way to speak out, to pour out all the brokenness, fear, betrayal, despair, nervous breakdowns, financial dependence, fear of explosions and aggression. I wrote to it when I did not know where to put all this pain, when I wanted to simply stop the whole world and feel nothing.

Every day was a battle. Every minute was a test. I was fighting him, the fear, myself, my own emotions. I was losing peace, health, inner safety. I looked at the world through stress and a constant sense of danger.

Many times I waited, many times I forgave, many times I hoped he would change. But reality was merciless. And it was not because I was “not enough.” It was because not everything can be endured, even if you give a person everything.

Now the situation feels like it is on the verge of ending. I do not know exactly what stage the relationship is in, but I feel that the end is near. And that brings both fear and relief at the same time.

These two years taught me an unbelievable amount: about myself, about pain, about boundaries, about my own strength. I understood that even among fear, betrayals, financial dependence, stress, and self-harm, it is possible to preserve yourself. And I am holding on, because I know: I will be able to live on, even after everything that happened.

P.S.

“Teenage passion” — because it started when I was 15.

I got pregnant at 16.

I gave birth just before turning 17.

I will be 18 soon.

And the scariest thing in this story is that all of this was lived through not by a grown woman.

But by me — a child.