Couple Stories - page 4

We have been married almost 30 years

I feel like I took too much too long

I have worked full time as my husband did, we raised a daughter, I did most of it, he barely changed her diaper, never woke up at night when she was little

I deal with all BS by his mother, and I was a selfish DILwhen I tried to set a boundary w her.

He has full on ADHD, when I come home after working 7 am to 5:30 pm, the house is a mess, I run like a crazy woman to tidy up the house to the level that is barely acceptable as a living environment. I obviously contribute our house purchase 50% from out joint bank account, but I can not enjoy the house because it is so cluttered, looks like a dump inside-out all the time. The yard was beautiful when we purchased the house, now it looks like a junk yard. Things are placed so randomly, if I mention about it, he would say something like he is trying to don't look at them. But he refuses to get a house keeper because “I don't want a stranger in our house” or “I don't trust those people.”

I deal with his MIL living in our backyard house, and I am 100% sure she has bipolar personality disorder but my husband try to satisfy her like a little boy try to please mother who never satisfy. She acts like a princess while she is 88yo. Just hard to watch. He sacrifices everything including his job, his health, sanity, and his family. The relationships between him, I, and our daughter are non-existing because he devote his everything to take care of his parents. We have not had family time for years.

How is this ok, I am taking way too much, feels like I am done with being a good person because everybody is taking an advantage over me

My girlfriend is moving in soon, and I have come to the conclusion I need to end things before that happens. She routinely snaps at me over minor annoyances and I'm expected to apologize afterwards. On the rare occasion I have been snappy towards her, I also end up apologizing. I do not intentionally push and pull b

Would you be okay with your partner showing expressions to you in a public space?

So I'm introverted and I have a resting serious face when I'm not talking to anyone at events. I was upset with my boyfriend because he was ignoring me so I made a face at him. Nothing elaborate but it was like a glare and eye roll. And we were like on a side and maybe someone could notice but I didn't think so. He didnt like that I made a face because he didn't want other people to notice it and make something of it. Other people includes random people we barely know and other people we do know (not nearby) and one of his cousin and her husband were nearby but again we were off to the side.

I did communicate that I was upset because he was ignoring me (he doesnt think he was). I also said I won't make a face or eye roll in future events because he doesn't like it and I meant it. I'm just curious about other opinions about being expressive to your own partner. We weren't near our close family (i wouldnt do that around our family) and the other people there suck and idc about their opinions tbh. I know he cares about society and stuff so I do/ don't do certain things out of respect but I do think it's annoying to do that for fake people who love to judge and have nothing to do with my life.

I have been receiving lots of disrespect from my gf

I never thought I’d be the kind of woman who cheats. I used to JUDGE people who did it, like how could you betray someone who trusts you? And now here I am… sitting with this weight on my chest, knowing I did it not once, but twice. Twice. And he still doesn’t know. My husband, the man who works hard, who makes dinner on the weekends, who remembers the name of my favorite tea. He’s not perfect, no one is, but he didn’t deserve this. And the worst part? I don’t even know why I did it. It’s not like I don’t love him—I think I do? Or maybe I just love the version of us that used to be. The comfort, the routine. But there was something missing and instead of talking to him, I went looking for that missing piece somewhere else. It wasn’t planned. The first time, it just happened. A guy from work, late hours, too much wine. The guilt nearly killed me after. I promised myself never again.

But I did it again. Months later, someone else. Another moment of weakness? Or maybe it’s something deeper, something broken in me. I don’t even enjoy it in the way people might think. It’s not thrilling, it’s not empowering—it’s sad. It’s confusing. I walk around pretending like everything is normal, but inside I feel like I’m carrying this giant crack that no one else can see. And I look at him—my husband—and I feel like I’m two people. The one who kisses him goodbye in the morning and the one who did those unforgivable things. I think what scares me most is how easy it was to lie. How simple it felt to slip into that second life and then just go back home like nothin happened. What kind of person does that? What kind of wife, what kind of human?

I keep telling myself that I’m not a bad person. That I just made bad choices. But is that just an excuse? People say if you really love someone, you wouldn’t hurt them like this. So does that mean I don’t love him? Or that I’m just too messed up to know what love is? I replay everything over and over in my head. The moments that led up to it, the guilt after, the fake smiles, the cold silence when I’m alone. I want to confess, but I’m terrified. Of losing him. Of him never looking at me the same. Of destroying the life we built. And yet, haven’t I already destroyed it? Even if he doesn’t know, the truth is in me now. Stuck in every glance, every touch. And the worst part is I miss something—I don’t even know what exactly. Freedom? Excitement? Being seen? But none of that makes what I did right.

So I sit here and I ask myself every night, what kind of person am I? Am I a coward? Am I broken? Am I someone capable of love or just someone afraid to be alone? I thought I knew who I was, but now I question everything. I wear this mask so well that even I forget it’s there sometimes. But under it, I’m scared. I’m full of regret. I don’t want to keep lying, but I don’t know how to undo what I’ve done. I don’t even know if I deserve forgiveness. Maybe someday I’ll find the courage to tell him. Maybe someday I’ll be honest. But right now… I’m just lost. And the question keeps echoing in my head: what kind of person am I? I wish I knew.

So I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is a bit older. I love him for the most part and it's mostly good but I feel bored sometimes. I don't wanna do anything crazy but sometimes I'd like if he'd plan things spontaneously. Not even something elaborate or expensive but anything. He does fun things but we both tend to be busy and we only get saturdays and weekday evenings and throughout the week we'll meet briefly. Of course I've communicated it and he wants to do things and he'll talk about it but it's the actually doing it part. Also even after we spend a couple hours together Saturday I often feel bored during or afterwards and I find myself wishing we would do more. Sometimes I regret being with an older guy and I love many things about him but it kinda sucks not being able to do things that I've wanted to. And I don't want to tell him about the regret or disappointment because I don't wanna hurt him but I do tell him about the things I wish we did. I know he's focused on making money and so am I but I can't help how I feel. And I feel like I'm a shitty person for feelings these things.

I’ve always been the type to keep my head down and focus on my goals. I’m 21, in my third year of engineering school, and everything I do, every choice I make, is with my future in mind. I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here—late nights, weekends, even my social life. So when I met her, I thought maybe I finally found someone who could make all this stress a little easier to carry. She was fun, spontaneous, full of energy. The opposite of me in a lot of ways, but I liked that. She made me laugh, pulled me out of my shell, reminded me what it felt like to live a little. At first, it was amazing. I felt like we balanced each other out. I’d be buried in assignments, and she’d bring over takeout and just chill with me, no pressure. But things started shifting. The parties became constant. The calls stopped. The texts were shorter. And eventually, the rumors started.

At first I didn’t believe them. I didn’t want to. People talk, right? Especially in college. I told myself they were just jealous, or didn’t know what they were talking about. But then I started noticing things—Snapchats from clubs she said she wasn’t going to, random guys commenting stuff that didn’t sit right, her suddenly not answering for hours when she used to be glued to her phone. And yeah, I finally asked. She denied it, of course. Said I was being paranoid, that I didn’t trust her. And I felt guilty for even bringing it up. But then I saw it with my own eyes. Twice. Two different guys. And still she acted like I was overreacting. "It didn’t mean anything," she said. "I was drunk, it was a mistake." But it wasn’t a mistake if it happened more than once. It wasn’t an accident. It was a choice. And I can’t lie—it broke something in me.

The thing is, I know I should leave. Everyone tells me to. My friends are fed up with watching me go through this cycle of betrayal and fake apologies. But I haven’t. Not yet. I wish I could explain why. Maybe it's because I'm scared to be alone. I spent so much time focused on school that she became my only real escape. My only comfort. And now, even with all the lies, part of me still wants her to care. Still wants her to be who she was at the beginning. I keep holding on to the memory of that girl, even though I know she’s not coming back. And it makes me feel weak, honestly. Like I’m not the guy I thought I was. I always prided myself on being strong, being focused, having self-respect. But here I am, stuck in this mess, not knowing how to let go of someone who clearly doesn't value me. I'm torn between not wanting to be alone and not being able to accept the idea of staying with someone who could hurt me like that. I don’t know how to fix it, or if I even should. All I know is I’m tired. Tired of pretending I’m fine. Tired of the lies. Tired of loving someone who doesn’t love me back the right way.

I don’t even know when it started feeling like this, but lately… I swear it’s like she hates me. My girlfriend, the same girl who used to hold my hand everywhere we went, who used to text me she missed me just 10 minutes after saying goodbye, now she barely looks at me. Every conversation turns into some fight, sometimes over the dumbest things. Like if I don’t reply fast enough, she acts like I’m cheating. If I ask for some space, she says I’m pulling away and accuses me of not caring. I try so hard to show her I love her—I bring her stuff she likes, I cancel plans just to be with her, I listen when she vents—but it’s like nothin I do is ever good enough. She’s always mad. Or cold. Or just not there. And I can’t lie, it hurts. It hurts more than I wanna admit, cuz I still love her. But it’s like I’m stuck in this weird loop where I’m trying to fix something that keeps breakin itself no matter what I do.

What’s even more confusing is that sometimes she does act like she still cares. She’ll cuddle up to me outta nowhere, or send a sweet message, or talk about the future like nothin’s wrong. And I hold on to those moments like crazy, thinkin maybe things are gonna get better. But then the next day it’s back to the same distance, the same anger in her voice, the same feeling like she’s annoyed I’m even around. I started questioning myself constantly. Like am I the problem? Am I really that bad of a boyfriend? I replay things I said, things I did, wonderin where I went wrong. And when I bring it up to her, she either shuts down completely or flips it on me. Says I’m too sensitive, that I take everything the wrong way. But it don’t feel like I’m being dramatic. It feels like I’m bein slowly pushed away by someone who used to love me, and I don’t even kno why.

I think the worst part is that I’m still here, still hoping it’ll go back to how it was in the beginning. Back when she smiled when she saw me, when we stayed up all night talking, when I didn’t have to wonder every day if she even liked me anymore. I miss her, even when she’s right in front of me. And yeah, I know it might be toxic, I know it’s probly not healthy to stay in something that feels so one-sided, but walking away feels impossible. Cuz what if it’s just a phase? What if she’s just goin through something? What if she still loves me deep down but doesn’t know how to show it? I keep askin myself these questions to justify stayin. But at the same time… I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like the enemy in my own relationship. I’m tired of wonderin every day, why does my girlfriend hate me? Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she’s just hurt, or lost, or angry about somethin else. Or maybe... she really does. And I’m just the fool still tryin to fix a heart that ain’t beatin for me anymore.

My confession.

Well

I’m 14, newly 14. I recently have had a baby. Titus, is what I named him, no one knows. No one thinks that he’s mine, I’ve been just saying he’s my mom’s, she’s absolutely pissed about it but she loves him. I just cant hold it in, telling people he’s not my baby and that I feel the longer I tell people he’s not mine the more he will think that I’m not his mother. I refused to stay at the hospital for the 3 days because I would’ve missed school and it would’ve been suspicious. So I went, literally eating pain medicine for lunch and breakfast. I have to pump everyday before and after school, I do this because He is tongue tied and breastfeeding him is difficult. The father doesn’t know yet, and I don’t think he ever will. What do I do?

Tw eating disorders:

I've been talking to this guy for only a little bit but he seemed really nice and everything was going great. Hes really funny and we share the same humor but he made a joke about me that really bugged me. He made a joke calling me anorexic. I have really been struggling with self image issues for a while but I dont think he knows. The joke still really rubbed me the wrong way and I just keep thinking about it. Besides this hes been the perfect guy but I just cant seem to let this go. Am I over reacting?

My partner and I have been on and off for 4 years now. I have a lot of self-esteem issues and issues with mental health like, anxiety and depression. I tried to be honest and tell them that I'm not ready for a relationship as I'm not in the heads pace to ne good to myself or them, but they don't accept the breakup and we end up getting back together. It seems no matter what I say or do we end up back together for a bit until again I feel insecure and ready to end things. We live in the same small town and they are really close to my family. We share bills, but don't live together. I don't have a high paying job and can't afford a

I love my husband very much. He's always been there for me and he's very supportive and I feel very fortunate to him in my life. That being said he also has some neurotic tendencies. I'm well aware of them and I'm pretty sure he's had them since forever. His parents have kind of warned me about them but I'm a very understanding person and for the most part I can easily address his tendencies and then kind of calm him down.

I'm also somewhat positive that he's probably on the spectrum and refuses to get tested because of the negative connotations. I was recently tested and I'm on the spectrum as well, high functioning but it just helps explain some of my unique tendencies.

Some of his "tendencies" are also linked to separation anxiety or abandonment issues. I don't know where they stem from I just know that when we are separate from each other, his actions feel exacerbated.

He's away at a conference right now and he always gets super clingy when he's away. I don't do anything different and just live my life how I do everyday but he's always blowing up my phone and if I don't pick up or respond to his text, he gets super clingy and worried, and like even more clingy than before. If I don't pick up his text messages or his phone calls, he will check my location just to make sure I am where I say I am. I've never cheated on him, I will not cheat on him. I have been cheated on before and I think it's terrible. When we first entered our relationship 8 years ago, We express to each other that we had both been cheated on and that it's something we would never do to each other. We both agree that if we want out of the relationship, it's easier to tell the other person that rather than to play with their emotions . We also have a very open and honest communication relationship. We talk daily and we tell each other everything. It does not bother me, it's like we are best friends.

Right now, we are also in the stages of buying a house. While he was away I noticed a house that popped up on the market and I reached out to a realtor because I I thought it would be good to tour it before someone else makes an offer on it. The house is great. It matches all of our needs and while I was touring the house with my agent, I also had the pleasure of being on my phone with my husband through FaceTime. I didn't necessarily want to FaceTime him and I wanted to experience the house but he was adamant that I walk through the house with him. When we finish walking through the house I thought maybe we should put through an offer because it does meet all of our needs and it's in our price point. My husband was adamant that we need to tour it again with him in person before we put down an offer. I told our agent that I would prefer if she did the research to find out if anyone is making an offer or if the house has any potential offers because I don't want to lose this house and I'm prepared to put forth an offer before my husband sees the house. My husband heard all of this through FaceTime. While we were leaving the house, my husband wanted me to show him the front yard so I did that and then I wanted to leave and I got in my car to drive off and I hung up on him through FaceTime. Immediately after hanging up on him, he started calling me on my phone. I didn't respond the first time so he called again and again, and again...this time while I was backing out of the driveway. I ended up turning down the wrong street and going down the road the wrong way because he kept calling my phone and it gave me weird anxiety and distracted me.

He knew I was leaving to drive home and yet he called me six times. I don't have a new car. I have an old Hyundai . I do not have a touch screen or even a backup cam. I have a very standard 2012 Hyundai Accent. I have the old school Bluetooth. I have to hit a button on my steering wheel to pick up the call. I was so flustered by all of his phone calls that I had to pull over, pick up the phone and collect myself. He wanted to talk more about the house. I was so pissed because I felt like he was hounding me and all I was trying to do was go home. He didn't give me any space and I didn't appreciate that. He also was frantic and wanted to talk all about it and said that he arranged for another tour when he lands back home after his conference Even though our agent had already scheduled a tour... Now, he wants me to pick him up from the airport and drive him to the house just so he can see it in person and we can do the tour together. I'm annoyed. I feel like he doesn't trust my opinion and I feel like he talks over me and at me, not with me. I think I'm just venting this out because I want to understand if my feelings are validated or not.

ok so like i don’t wanna sound mean or ungrateful or whatever, but my boyfriend is sooo clingy and i honestly don’t kno what to do about it anymore. like at first i thought it was cute, you kno? he’d always text me good morning and good night, always want to talk and tell me how much he likes me and stuff. and yeah, that felt nice at the beginning, cuz i never really had someone like pay that much attention to me before. but now it’s like... too much. like way too much. he wants to talk all the time, like literally 24/7. if i don’t answer his text in like 10 mins he starts asking if i’m mad or if something’s wrong or if i’m "losing feelings" 😩. like no dude, i was just doing homework or eating dinner with my fam, calm down!! i can’t even breathe without him needing some kind of reassurance, and it’s starting to really bug me.

it’s not just the texting either. he always wants to be with me at school too, like during lunch or between classes and even when i’m just tryna hang out with my other friends, he’s there. always right there. and i feel bad saying this but like... sometimes i just wanna chill with my girls without him clinged to me like glue 😭. one time i told him i needed a lil space to just hang with my friends and he got all quiet and moody for the rest of the day, like i did something wrong. like i’m not even allowed to have time without him or something. it’s starting to feel like i’m in this relationship with a puppy who cries the second you leave the room. i know that sounds harsh but fr that’s how it feels sometimes. nd the more i try to pull back a little, the more he pushes in closer.

what really gets me is that i don’t even think he means to be like this. like i know he likes me a lot, and that’s sweet and all, but it’s like he doesn’t understand that people need space too. like, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be glued together 24 hours a day. i wanna miss him sometimes. i wanna have space to think, to breathe, to still be my own person. but every time i try to explain that to him, he acts like i’m breaking up with him or something. and i’m not! i don’t even want to break up. i just want him to chill out a bit. it’s just getting so hard to enjoy anything when i feel like i’m constantly babysitting his feelings. like, i can’t even say “i’m busy” without a whole dramatic convo about whether or not i still care about him. bro, it’s not that deep, i just got math homework 😭.

i really don’t know what to do at this point. i don’t wanna hurt him cuz he’s honestly such a sweet guy and i know he means well, but this clingy stuff is really driving me nuts. i feel like if i keep letting it slide, i’m gonna start really resentin him, and that’s not fair to either of us. but if i bring it up again, i’m scared he’s just gonna shut down like always and make me feel bad again. i’m only 16 and already feel like i’m stuck in this adult relationship with all this pressure, when it’s supposed to be fun and cute, right? i just wish he could trust that i care about him even if we don’t talk 24/7. idk maybe i’m the bad one here for wanting space, maybe i’m just not ready for this kinda thing. but i really hope he can back off a little without it turning into some huge thing, cuz if not… i’m not sure how much longer i can keep doing this.

It just hurts so much, when I got married thought it would be a forever thing. Now sitting alone, in an empty house, just hurting, angry, guilty, lonely.

Me and my now ex husband met online, neither of us looking for anyone. He had just separated from his 1st wife, and me really not needing the drama of a relationship. We chatted for a few years, then finally met up. He lived in another state, and even then we weren't offical another couple of years. Dated for a year, engaged a year, and a little over a decade of marriage all over red rover.

Before we got married I asked him if he was gay, there were "red flags", but he assured me he was not. Decade of practically sexless marriage, saying that he wanted children but always finding reasons to not do what you need to get them.

I'm such a stupid pathetic girl, I can't be mad at him for who he is, but I am so angry. He is out fucking anything with a penis, but faked heart attacks, asma attacks, etc when all i wanted was a baby he said he wanted too.

I'm trying to be happy and perky for those around me, cause people really don't want to hear it.

I've been too ashamed to speak to anyone for many years about what has been happening. it's hence sharing hear.

It’s hard to explain to people without sounding dramatic. From the outside, everything probably looks fine. We’ve been married for eight years, we don’t fight often, we keep the house clean, pay our bills on time, and take care of the kids. But behind all that routine is this empty space between us that keeps getting wider. He’s here, but he’s not really here. My husband is emotionally unavailable, and it feels like I’m married to a shadow. When something upsets me, he doesn’t ask questions. He doesn’t comfort. He just nods or says “Sorry you feel that way,” and moves on like I didn’t just open uup my chest and hand him my heart. I’ve learned to stop expecting warmth. I’ve learned to cry quietly in the bathroom so I don’t make him uncomfortable. And that’s the part that breaks me—how me feeling something seems to bother him more than it bothers me.

I didn’t always notice it this deeply. In the beginning, it was just little things—him brushing off serious conversations, or giving one-word answers when I tried to connect. But back then, I thought maybe he just needed time, that maybe it was hard for him to express himself. He had a rough childhood, he never really saw healthy communication growing up, and I gave him grace for that. Maybe too much grace. I thought love would soften him. I thought my patience would eventually make him feel safe enough to open up. But years passed, and I realized I was building a bridge alone, with no one walking toward me on the other side. Every time I tried to talk about our lack of emotional closeness, he’d say, “I don’t know what you want me to do.” As if connection was a task, and not a part of being in love. I’ve begged for something deeper, and all I get is distance in return.

Now I just feel tired. I feel lonely in a house with someone who promised to be my partner. I scroll through my phone, seeing couples who laugh together, cry together, talk—and I feel like I’m watching life happen from a glass window. I envy people who feel seen. I try to bring it up sometimes, gently, hoping something clicks, but it never does. He shuts down, gets quiet, or changes the subject. I’m not asking for grand romantic speeches or poetry—I just want him to notice me. To feel with me. But it’s like there’s a wall I can’t break, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep knocking. I still love him, but I don’t feel loved in return. And I wonder, often, if this is all marriage will ever be—doing life together, but never really together.