Couple Stories - page 2

So there is this guy in my class that i am friends with. He says he has dated a lot of girls (16 girls to be exact). And i have only dated 1 guy ever before. So while i don't like that he is a so called playboy, Idk why but i still like him.

We used to spend a lot of time together cause he is in my class and we also live in the same building. and one night he got icecream for us so we went on the terrace and sat together eating it.

So he initiated all of this by getting the icecream, eventually we both said we liked each other and then we even kissed (full blown makeout session actually)

All of this meant a lot to me as it is my first time at it. This continued for like a week, he "lovebombed" me. We even went on two movie dates. It was all like too good to be true types. It was very perfect to me, so i started really really liking this guy.

And well he basically stopped talking to me abruptly. And that has left me all heartbroken and clueless. Like why would he himself initiate the spark, tell me that he likes me, do all these nice things for me, and then just leave?

My boyfriend works in management at a private school, and during the holidays the school does a big clean-up. Recently, he brought home bedsheets, pillowcases, blankets, and even the curtains from the nurse’s office so that I could wash them. I don’t mind doing the sheets and bedding, but the curtains are extremely heavy, and on top of our regular house chores and laundry, it feels like a lot to put on me.

When I asked why he didn’t just use the outside service the school mentioned, he said it would cost the school money and that since we have a washing machine and a dryer at home, it made more sense to do it here. I tried explaining that the curtains are heavy and not easy to deal with, and his response was simply, “I bet.” It left me wondering why this task has suddenly become my responsibility in the first place.

Not a day goes by that I don't ask where she might be. I don't know, but I somehow feel like she'll return sooner or later. It's as if the distance we took had been a time for closure.

We became engaged, but she immediately asked me to distance ourselves. We didn't bother maintaining contact through other means. The one we had was simply our face-to-face meetings. She didn't bother with this aspect, and I didn't want to insist. I felt tense.

I don't know why it didn't go further, nor do I know the reason why she cut me off. It's the feeling that I make her tense because we're dating, and also because of the other people's needs. I have to admit, I felt that the other people didn't want our union, and it's a lie that people respect unions; they play a lot of games to destroy them.

Likewise, I left contact between us, despite everything, and I strategically managed to get her to store me among her contacts. I can't communicate with her because she's blocked me, but that already means she's putting me in a holding pattern and she can turn to me. I had to do it discreetly, so she'd have an excuse for blocking me, and not just leave me hanging or reject me, which would make my head spin.

The relationships surrounding her were definitely an issue for me, as well as for her. I was trying to get out of there. It's hard to give in to your personal desires when those around you pressure you to change the subject. I don't think I'm being a panderer or someone who's doing things in vain, but I won't deny that this is tiring. You can't tell anyone, and people, if they're interested in making you give in on something, pressure you to know; they're not interested; it's all at the expense of their own interests.

In fact, when we agreed or started dating, she was in another relationship that she still couldn't get out of. Deep down, I feel like she's looking for motivation through, well, a relationship with me, where she's not worried about what I'm doing or how I'm doing it. Of course, the perfect remedy is this distancing, but it's not routine and therefore isn't supported. Rather, the tension induced by the abnormality of the situation isn't understood by many. The fact that it's new makes it hard for me to share, mainly because it arouses terrible prejudices.

My boss even wanted to intervene in the matter, one I had, but since he wasn't attending the place where I was, and also because he didn't need it for anything other than his own fears, I ended up making up an excuse in front of his superiors, making him and another woman who was pressuring me look like a bunch of exaggerated people.

In short, the strange thing about the situation lies in, first of all, this distancing, which for me, as from what I'm seeing, is resulting in support for her, and at the same time, the persistent belief that sooner or later she'll end this distancing. However, now that I'm reading this, it doesn't surprise me, because I'm allowing her to live her life, maintaining stability regarding my anxieties, something she didn't even remotely have with her boyfriend. In the long run, this situation is a spur of attraction for her.

I feel like I'll never see her again, and it seems unfair because we didn't experience many things. She simply said she didn't want to talk, despite reaching out after I acted a priori regarding my mental health. These are things she supports, however, it seems that when it comes to causing the damage, things change.

I was willing to rebuild us, without further complications. Indeed, I could have caused more damage, but I was willing to face it. She observed that I was afraid of her reactions, precisely because of what I would do with them. Without a doubt, I went to the services of the institution where she worked, but she had no other choice.

The scandal that girl caused was monumental. I can't pretend to be ironclad all the time. I don't know if she is used to submissive treatment in circumstances like these or if her environment is, but I definitely am not. I don't like being at the mercy of the aftermath, drowning in silence.

Such an act as hers ultimately implied a failure to manage her whims, to a certain extent a definitive abandonment. It's feeling that after what she did and provoked in me, she simply ran away from me, though not for any reason of her own. It's watching our relationship fracture precisely because of her, even though she was the one who had caused it.

We can safely say that she left me. Friends, boyfriends, she ultimately remains indifferent. Indeed, I felt it was unfair. I must admit that as time went by, I began to notice that she wanted to make less of a contribution to the efforts our relationship entailed, amidst her other relationships. Without a doubt, she succumbed to these latter, to the point of even relying on them to make herself less responsible for her role in our relationship. They even intervened.

It must be said, for my part, in that relationship, I was at a level of commitment, more so than accepting it as a zone of tranquility. That commitment consisted of ensuring that the relationship maintained agreements by guiding us through it, respecting the freedom with which we arrived and continuing to be in it. I didn't see beyond that because that wasn't my goal, but that doesn't mean I missed something amidst those details I discarded to focus on that goal.

At this moment, I don't know where she is, or even if it's worth searching for her. After all, if she's not willing to do something about her reactions, if she's not willing to surrender to the increasing magnitude of them, then it makes sense to face a beginning that would end in the same fate, another abandonment. It's curious, but the last time we saw each other, she didn't set a date for the end of this phase between us. However, we would fall back into the same cycle.

I'm not even sorry that I should continue waiting for her, as it would be another way of beginning and ending with the same outcome, assuming she still maintains the same relationships that included the one she had with me. Otherwise, we could indeed observe a level of commitment, as she doesn't retain the possibility of escape with others, and is supported by them as well. However, this would consist of the cessation of relationships with her surroundings, which, given this abandonment, must result in a strengthening of cohesion, also given by protection amid the circumstances experienced between the next-to-last and last time I saw her.

I feel no hope of seeing her again, and it's definitive. It would be a highly probable path to frustration to assume that adverse conditions existed. Despite everything, I feel there's something I'm omitting, I have to admit.

So here I am, 41 years old, a dude who’s been married for a good chunk of time, and it seems my wife has decided that couples therapy is a must. She thinks it's gonna fix whatever’s broken in our little world. I get it, maybe I’m not the best at pouring my heart out—that’s always been her forte. But every time we sit in those sessions, I’m blank. My mind's as empty as a bird-less sky, and it's pissing her off. She wants deep conversations; I’m more of a "cut to the chase" guy. The therapist throws out terms like "emotional bandwidth" and "communication barrier," and while it sounds sophisticated, it really just makes me feel like I’m taking a pop quiz I didn’t study for. Am I supposed to say what’s really on my mind or just nod and agree? Anyone who’s been there, what's the deal? 🤔

My wife hit me with a quote once, "The unexamined life is not worth living,"...; it sure sounds smart, but I'm still scratching my head about how it applies to our Tuesday at 5 PM therapy slots. I’m supposed to dig up stuff to talk about—things from the past, the future, "feelings" (whatever they are). But here’s the truth, maybe I'm scared of opening up. What if peeling back those layers just exposes more crap I didn’t even know was buried deep in my subconscious? And here's another thing: I've always been a "don't fix it if it ain't broke" guy, but maybe that's led to some cracks in the foundation. Friend of mine once said, "Marriage is like a poker game; you gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em." Maybe it’s time I start holding up my end of the deal a bit better without turning every session into a game of 20 questions. I'm hopeful because change is possible, right? But damn, how do you even start? Anyone else out there in the same spot, any tips, or is it just blah blah until the clock runs out?

Does anyone else’s boyfriend treat weekends like a professional gaming tournament? Mine wakes up, strolls out of the bedroom, and plants himself in front of the TV like he’s clocking in for work. If we have errands, it takes a good half hour of sitting and waiting just to get him to walk out the door. And the moment we’re back? Straight back to the TV like nothing happened. Even ordering dinner becomes a gaming side quest—he’ll half-pick something, pass it to me, and then come back later attempts to continue where we left off 🤦🏻‍♀️

He says he wants to get healthier and lose weight. But so far, his workout routine consists of thumb sprints and the occasional frustrated jump when the game doesn’t go his way. He claims that before we met, he’d work out after work. Honestly? Judging by his current routine, I’m 90% sure he’s talking about a fictional version of himself from an alternate universe. Basically, his life revolves around work, sleep, and the TV. The TV is on from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. Honestly I’m so fed up.

When you have a lot to say but the people you call closest to you do not try to understand you, your soul and body give you some warnings. I've never been a "I can't live without music, I can't do anything without music" person.I always felt strange because there were so many people like this around me, but I realized that I also have a different connection with music.I have a long-standing relationship with someone who I am certain will be my future wife.(a whole 3 years) Maybe I deceived myself, maybe I ignored all of this just because I loved him so much.He doesn't trust me. Yes, I can't believe it either and I don't want to accept this fact, but he doesn't trust me.He repeatedly questions my every action, does not want me to have any contact with the opposite sex, and demands screenshots of all my conversations with my girlfriend. So what does this have to do with music?

"Come on, let's give up without forcing anything. You are the sane man, I am the tired man.

.

.

We're aiming high again

Life is passing us by, step by step

I've had enough, let me be

Let's find a place, far from the world"

I realized I was saying these words to myself even though I hadn't listened to this song for a very long time.Those words that came to my mind out of the blue after I noticed my boyfriend's behavior..We've certainly gone through some tough times in our relationship, but we've never experienced any insecurity. While I trusted him with my whole body and soul, I also believed he trusted me with his whole body and soul. I'm so confused. If you've read this far, thank you, but no one will likely respond to my post. At least I've poured out my heart.

Here comes another sleepless night because all I can do is cry and think. Think about what normal people would call nonsense, but in this case it just… all adds up. So… I’ve been with my bf for more than a year. Since the beginning things were difficult. We would argue often, he wanted to break up multiple times, and I ended up turning my life upside town and changing 90% of me, mostly to „become myself again” and escape the influence of people I called friends, but I know that some things I did were all and only for him to stay. Now this part is almost „stable”, even tho there are still things that are wrong about me and I am aware of that and the cause of all of this (family issues, the fucked up way I was raised). But… ever since I can remember my bf used to mention his ex often. Always in a good way, recalling good memories etc. He told me A LOT about their relationship, how their mother liked him, how they liked to spend time together, damn he even sent me multiple pictures of them together MULTIPLE TIMES… I remember one time I said something bad about his ex, out of jealousy when he was talking about them again, and he got all protective, and almost aggressive like I just insulted someone important to him. He’s been never intimate with his ex, but he is with me every fucking time we see each other and this also makes me sick. Makes me feel like I’m his little cum bucket, walking piece of meat (mostly tits, ass and thighs) even tho he said he never saw me only in this way. I just can’t… when I recall the things he told me about his relationship with his ex, and when I compare it to what we have, I’m starting to fucking cry, because I feel like I’m never gonna be such an amazing partner like his ex was, I feel like he’s with me just to have anybody by his side. I can’t take the fact that I had to change so, so much only for him to not want to leave me, but his ex just came to his life and he was obsessed with them. They never annoyed him, but he told me multiple times how annoying can I get. Damn, he even told me how his ex would get him out of toxic activities, and how they would help him with his mental health etc, BUT I KNOW DAMN WELL I CANT DO SHIT LIKE THEM CUZ MY MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO SHOW LOVE. I… I feel like I’m not even his real partner. Like I’m just there to fill the empty space. They broke up almost 2 years ago but still I can feel he misses them, but he’s never gonna admit it. He’s just comfortable with me. With chunks of meat to grab and sexualize. I wanna tear my fucking skin and replace it with his exes because maybe if I became them he would be finally happy and would not want to leave… I’m such a fuck up. I think I’m gonna cry again. Idk how this site works, I have no friends because I was kind of forced to cut ties with them, and I don’t have the strength to talk to anyone.

Hi all, I just need some support. I spent the last 4 years building my life around the idea that my boyfriend and I would eventually move into our own place. The first year we looked up listings and everything but then it stopped year 2. I brought up other listings around the start of year 3 and he started spending a lot on expensive things :gaming equipment, printer etc. This made me think that oh yeah he doesn't want to get a house together (I live with him still in a rental property) I brought this up and he goes to tell me that we are no longer compatible but doesn't explain why. I wrote him a letter pouring my heart out and he didn't respond to it either, but he's been acting like he's my friend, even made me bacon the other morning and said i could stay as long as i need to. Am i hooding out hope that we can have an open communication relationship? How do I deal with being in love with him and knowing it won't work while staying polite and cordial while living with him still? Ive never lived on my own and so its a scary situation especially since I want to keep him in my life but know its probably for the best.

I’m 29, married, and honestly, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me sometimes. My husband is, by all observable metrics, a good man. He hasn’t given me any concrete reason to question his fidelity since we’ve been together. He texts back promptly, he doesn’t hide his phone, and he makes time for me even when he’s dead tired from work. But despite all of that, I have this insidious, gnawing insecurity that crawls up my spine whenever I see him laughing at something on his phone or when he takes a few minutes too long to reply. Maybe I’m just paranoid—or maybe I’m responding to unresolved trauma masquerading as intuition. I wish I could say I’ve always been this suspicious, but the truth is, I used to be chill as hell in past relationships. It’s like something cracked open in me the day I found out he cheated on his ex-wife.

Now before anyone jumps on the "once a cheater, always a cheater" bandwagon, let me just say: people can change. We’ve all heard the quote, "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." That said, how do you trust someone who’s proven capable of deception? Especially when you weren’t the one who got lied to, but you know someone else was. My husband admitted it pretty early in our relationship. He said, "I was a different man back then," like that version of him lived in another body entirely. He didn’t justify it, which I appreciated—he just owned it. And for some dumb reason, maybe arrogance, maybe naïveté, I believed I could be the exception. I thought I was different enough, good enough, smart enough to be the woman he wouldn’t betray. But now, two years into this marriage, that knowledge lingers like an app running in the background, draining my emotional battery even when everything seems fine on the surface.

I catch myself analyzing his tone, his body language, even the most mundane changes in routine. If he skips his morning kiss or seems distracted during dinner, my mind starts constructing hypothetical infidelity timelines with CIA-level detail. It’s exhausting. It’s like being your own private investigator in a case that hasn’t even been opened yet. What’s worse is that I know how unfair it is. He doesn’t deserve to be interrogated every time he has a bad day. I read somewhere that "projection is when you dislike something about yourself and attribute it to someone else"—and maybe that’s what I’m doing. Maybe I’m projecting my fear of not being enough onto him. Maybe I’m scared he’ll do to me what he did to her because deep down, I think I’m just as disposable. Isn’t that pathetic? To measure your self-worth based on someone else’s sins?

And still, I don’t want to be this woman. I don’t want to play emotional detective or police someone I claim to love. I want to trust him, truly trust him, not just say it and hope my voice doesn’t crack. I’ve been seeing a therapist who specializes in relationship anxiety and attachment theory, and she said something that hit me hard: "You’re not reacting to him—you’re reacting to the narrative you’ve built around what he might do." That stopped me cold. Because she’s right. I’m so damn focused on worst-case scenarios that I’m sabotaging the best-case reality. He’s here. He’s loyal—at least from everything I’ve seen. He still reaches for my hand in bed, still brags about me to his friends, still asks for my opinion before making big decisions. How much more evidence do I need before I stop treating him like a ticking time bomb?

So I guess I’m asking: why am I so insecure in my relationship? Is it self-esteem? Is it trauma? Is it just me being a dramatic, controlling idiot? I’m trying to get better. I read books. I journal. I’m taking SSRIs. I’m not passive about this, because if there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s to become the reason this marriage crashes. He’s not perfect—none of us are—but he’s trying, and so am I. There’s this quote from Esther Perel that I remind myself of often: "Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets." I know I need to give him those drops, not with blind faith, but with informed hope. I need to believe that growth is real, and that past behavior, while informative, is not always predictive. I’m learning to accept that the only control I really have in this relationship is over my own reactions and assumptions; and maybe that’s enough to start turning this fear into peace—even if it’s one difficult, imperfect day at a time.

Thanks for reading 😘

This is somewhat a continuation of my previous story.

Recently I came across some of the reels James has liked, and frankly I am worried because if I’m getting recommended these reels, there is a chance Jess (his girlfriend) is getting recommended them too.

The reason I’m worried because the reels he has been liking makes Jess look bad. From what I know this is James’ first real and serious relationship. He has had been in an extremely short relationship with another girl but it didn’t even last a week. So when he is liking these reels, I am almost positive that it is in relation to Jess.

For context, Jess absolutely loves watching this drama/romance reality TV show (kind of like a guilty pleasure), and James thinks the TV show is dumb.

The reels he has been liking are criticizing women who watch that show: saying things like the show promotes promiscuity, women who watch that show have no loyalty. I was so shocked seeing him liking these reels because I know how much Jess loves watching that show, so for her boyfriend to be liking these reels seems so… off?

What really made me want to post this story is a different reel though. It was a reel that said something along the lines of: ‘Seeing your girlfriend defend another man to you is one of the most embarrassing things a lot of men experience.’

I am just confused how he can like reels like those without thinking how it makes his own girlfriend look. His friends are on IG, other family members (on both sides) are on IG, etc. I think this is such a bad look for her AND him, but maybe I’m just old school? Maybe this is how couples operate in this newer generation? But this still seems so off to me… am I seeing this wrong? I would like to know how other people perceive this.

There's a girl at work I like, but she's not my cup of tea. I sense she's interested in something beyond that, but I'm not. I sense she's somewhat delusional and capable of bursting into tears if her dream isn't fulfilled to the letter, if even the slightest change occurs. I don't want her to be the one directing the relationship, because otherwise, I'll be at the mercy of her dominance, with serious work-related repercussions resulting from the disappointment if I give in. If I were to propose to continue a relationship with her on an ongoing basis, it would be like holding her in that dream, no matter what, taking advantage of it, since she gains power over me: being however she wants in exchange, of course, for not breaking that dream.

I don't see a girl with prodigious mental health as a prerequisite, since her desire is to succumb to disappointment. Without the emotional management that subsequently impacts social situations to maintain relief, there's no possibility of a deep relationship, whether romantic or even dating. I continue to be amazed at how people give up on the illusion of being liked by another person and don't first examine the person they're dealing with. This leads me to a modus operandi that doesn't take responsibility for visualizing where the next step, which they sense they're going to take blindly, given their impulses, will lead.

In these circumstances, my dear friends, I understand the need to take risks, but there's also the need to observe, at least as far as you can see, which in itself is important for making decisions. There are undoubtedly times when the challenge will be worthwhile, but that's only if, based on our vision, we don't see anything that threatens our stability. The point is whether it's just right. Indeed, we can talk about difficulties; however, these seem valid to me when they enter into an axis that results in enrichment, which they all are. However, there are times when they arise and they correspond only to the need to distance oneself, since in our modus operandi there is no such enrichment, but rather an abandonment.

It's painful for me to feel that I cannot succumb with complete peace of mind to this woman because I am also eager for a relationship, even though I adore my solitude. My solitude stems precisely from accepting that I am capable of developing alone rather than in a group, because I haven't found a group that casts doubt on this idea, but rather reinforces it. Which makes me think that perhaps I only visualize those who make me feel that it's better to be alone, referring, of course, to my past, where being under a hegemony and consecrated as a family for my family, I saw solitude as a path to development.

Nowadays, I find it difficult to think of a group that supports my development, although I can't say that being alone isn't the first step toward such an issue. It's first about seeing where we're coming from, a question that speaks to our environment and, at the same time, a distancing from it, and then moving toward where we feel framed in terms of such an exercise in development. We can say they are stages. The relationships I've had before have been more of a way out of such a hegemonic family situation, given the excitement it holds for me. But the very effect of this very situation undermined me. Ultimately, in a hegemonic system, its origin lies in a heightened illusion about oneself, specifically in behavior.

I wish the circumstances with this girl were different, as in other cases, but it must be said that her usefulness to my well-being wasn't in deepening the relationship for a shared destiny, but rather to point out that I wasn't yet ready to leave such an environment, because, in principle, there isn't the distancing that would make it so. Physical distance in this sense was, like courtship, also a very attractive and widely accepted call. However, stability would depend on maintaining the hope with which I would be received. In itself, there was no escape. Furthermore, other interested individuals of different kinds would not be able to contemplate me because, in principle, I would not be able to contemplate them, and neither would they in me because I harbor fear of the environment in the midst of getaways, which implies the production of inconveniences to their stability. By nature, we all seek that which does not provide them, although sometimes this is in such demand that it is very expensive, as can be a blur, as are courtships and physical distances that were sometimes recommended to me, as I was told.

It's clear that family situations can't be resolved with easy solutions, because such complexity permeates the modus operandi and makes such an easy solution a path to another hell, but one that's more comforting thanks to the cessation in the face of deep disappointment, and on top of that, with us there defending that, because we have the feeling, although projected, that the idea of a better place is a lie. Nor can we turn back, because those who have welcomed us feel their support for us after such a situation has been in constant decline inside.

man, i seriously screwed up this time. like what the hell was i even thinking? I'm 19, supposed to have my head on straight, but obviously, that's too much to ask for. so yeah, i cheated on my girlfriend, and now I'm sitting here feeling like the dumbest idiot to ever walk this earth. it ain't rocket science to be faithful, right? yet somehow, in my twisted brain, i found the loophole to mess it all up. it's not like i meant for this to happen, it wasn't even a planned thing, just a random, spur-of-the-moment stupid decision.

i mean, she's such a great girl; always there for me, supporting my crazy dreams when nobody else does. and what does she get in return? a boyfriend who likes to muck things up royally! like, how cool is that, folks? sometimes, i just wanna slap my past self and yell, “what the heck is wrong with you, man?” did my conscience take a vacation when this happened, or was i just not using the brain cells I'm supposed to have at 19? god, can things be messed up any more than this?

i remember that night vividly, you know? a few of us were chilling, one drink led to another, and before i know it, I'm making decisions dumber than a headless chicken. imagine realizing that one moment of stupidity can dismantle trust you took months, even years to build. honestly, i thought i was mature, handling life better than a lot of my friends drowning in drama. guess what? drama: 1, me: 0. anyone else been in that pit where you dig and dig but never seem to hit bottom?

but seriously, how do you even begin to fix something like this? first step: stop feeling sorry for myself, maybe. acknowledge that i was a total prick and try to make amends. but can you mend something that's totally shattered? do i even deserve another chance, or is it time to face the music and admit that i blew it? guess I'll find out soon enough. lesson learned? maybe, and you bet your *$! I’ll be wary next time my stupid brain decides to take a vacation again. isn't growing up a mess, though? 🤷‍♂️

TL;DR: Jess and James have been together a little over 1.5 years and argue weekly. Their arguments always have the same root cause of poor communication and I am frustrated with how they get third parties (like a parent) to help solve their problems. (Bonus rant at the bottom)

Context: Let's go with the names Jess for the girlfriend and James for the boyfriend. I am James' older brother's girlfriend. We're all college kids. Jess and James have been dating a little over 1.5 years. They will be together for 2 years this upcoming fall. This will be James' first real long-term relationship. Jess has a chronic health condition that she recently got a temporary, but long-term treatment for. James lives closer to the parent's home and can visit more frequently. James also used to be a super intense guy who was irrational, but after he got on a different kind of medication and got older, he has mellowed out so much.

The Problem: I don't know what is with these two, but every time they come home (either for a hospital visit, holiday, or just visiting the family), there is an 90 to 95% chance that they will argue, and if not that day, give them a couple days and something will blow up. And when I say argue, I don't mean a "What do you want to eat" kind of argument; I mean a full blown, super emotional and intense kind of argument where James is yelling and Jess is crying and sometimes yelling. The worst part is, a lot of these arguments happen late at night and because it is so late, a lot of the times, the dad is mediating/intervening, whatever you want to call it.

But because of how often the dad intervenes, I think Jess got so comfortable that she sometimes seeks the dad to solve their problem. I say this because recently they came home and got into an argument, Jess asked me where the dad was. I really didn't want to answer because the dad is gets pulled in so many directions already and I want him to take care of himself more, but also that in the future she will involve me more, but I did anyway.

I also want to mention that I am only at the parent's place for holidays and summers. But from what I know, this happens frequently throughout the school year and not only at my boyfriend's parent's house, but I also got word from Jess' mom that they argue at her place too.

This has been an ongoing issue since day one. They argue multiple times in a month and possibly multiple times in a week (in worse cases they argue multiple times in a day). I am so sick of hearing them argue whenever they come home that I some times wish they don't. To double down, their argument has always been the same issue. At least the same root issue; James does not like how Jess communicates (or a lack of) with him because it sounds like she isn't actually listening to him. It has always been the same problem, just different spices.

I just want to know how often does a normal healthy couple argue? And especially if it's the same problem because these two are the most dysfunctional couple I have ever met.

Bonus Rant: I was ok with Jess before because she seemed mature back then, but now I am just annoyed with her. My boyfriend wants a close relationship with James and they both bond through video games, but I cannot tell you how many times Jess has sabotaged their time together. They plan to play together on a day and then James gets a call from Jess, "Can you please come over?" and if James tries to explain to her that he set aside time for my boyfriend she just begs him. There was a day where she texted my boyfriend something along the lines of: "Hey, James wanted me to text you that he won't be on tonight because I begged him to stay the night lol" and when my boyfriend showed me that, I was so angry.

Just recently my boyfriend and I got party game to play with James. Jess called him, and he said "Hey, I'm playing with them, and I'm going to win this game" joking and having fun. Jess seemed disinterested and just said "ok, I love you". No joke, like 2 minutes later she calls James, asking him to get his dad because her head hurt. James said that his dad may be asleep and she was quick to say he isn't because he just texted her. Then James was like, why don't you call him, and she just said "Please go get him".

Like I don't want to disregard her condition because I know it is very real, but sometimes I feel like she uses her condition as a crutch for her stupid behavior. And also, if you are already texting, there is no problem to just call the man yourself. Her condition isn't bad enough that she can't talk, move, or do things for herself, because I have seen her talk for hours, I have seen her be active, and I have seen her do stuff around by herself when James is not around. I don't know what her problem is with James gaming with his brother, but if it is jealousy, it is a nasty one.

my bf is out of town for the week for his family’s vacation and yesterday was day one and he barely talked to me and he said he would do better today and today he has talked a bit more than yesterday it still is not showing any effort. And then we where on the phone and his cousin let her friend come and he and her where laughing a lot and I just found it very weird and it seemed like she was flirting

Yesterday we had a very intense conversation about how I was feeling with everything in life and I tbh ought everything would get better but now I feel it has not