Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 12

sorry if this would be boring or unwitty to read or post, but i just need to vent out frustrations built over time like an architectural ancient wall. Anyways.. so here is it. My kins are far from the type of being a emotionally regulated and healthily supportive thing. Yeah, support may be felt and seen but its obligatory and not something that's rooted from actual empathy or sensitivity or whatever the positivity term. Toxicity overpowers it by having these heavily implied and deeply rooted sense of expectations that just because youve raised a separate human being in the modern times from your own means they must be characteristically and ideally better because the living situations they're in is far better than what they''ve been through. That survival skills automatically equates with the extent of "modernity and advancement of the world"" and that you suffer LESS. Is it obvious if i'm gonna say nobody actually knows me in my family. All they know is what i try to imitate, and what they want to see. Because they hated seeing imperfections. Which, in an atomical sense, makes up 80% of me as a person. Even if i want to explain things they wouldn't get to my shoes and just start being a "role model", saying you must do this and that. But actually.... it is very hard. I didnt even signed up for this life lol. I tried but everytime i do i just feel more and more close to the fact that i am far from being an actual perfect person. YEs, i understand nobody is perfect. Yes i understand everybody makes mistakes. But, i dont understand why actual misundersttood people, if they ever gets exposed, gets extremely unsupported and treated like trash generally... those advocacies never work to change people's perspectives. Because people dont literally experience the shoes of another person's life in reality. There are a lot of things i want to explain but i cannot type all of it into a coherent and readable paragrpah. I judt feel like i was born to experience humiliation, shame, grief, repeatedly. Also, i do wanna get therapy so much but it costs a lot and im a frikin college burden still. I want to work but how can i even take the step if the road always has sinkholes i cannot avoid and nobody dares go to? i'm in a pit where i can only tell i'm fine. but who really caresif i'm not. Everyone else just cares about results... I can't make it.. i'm struggling. I want help. I need help. I can only hug myself in darkness. I can only see myself d34d. I do not want anymore negativity to cling to me but even when i'm in light its too dim to tell where i am. Where do i even see myself six months from now? I may have survived a lot of things but at what cost? More humiliation? MOre trials for me to fail? I hope not. I need change...I need ... I need to actually feel a sense of hope down to my bones... I feel so disgusted at myself.

been thinking lately, how can one find solace in being alone? it seems like everywhere i look people emphasize the importance of having friends, but what if you don't have those connections readily available? i reckon it's not the end of the world, and maybe there's a way to be truly content without needing others around constantly. i'm not saying isolation is bliss, no way, but is there a method to enjoy your own company so thoroughly that the lack of companionship doesn't sting as much?

so i've been trying a few things myself, like diving into hobbies that bring genuine joy. perhaps it's about creating an environment where i'm comfortable enough with myself that loneliness turns into solitude... there's a subtle difference there i believe. it is quite fascinating how watching your favorite movie or reading an intriguing book can provide just as much satisfaction as any social interaction.

i suppose it's also about maintaining a positive mindset. sure, social media makes everything seem grander than it actually is, ultimately leaving us feeling left out. but maybe if we shift focus inward and cherish self-growth or personal achievements no matter how small they might appear, we could redefine happiness and feel complete even when alone.

everything i do is wrong! when i say everything... i mean EVERYTHING!!! i've been married to my wife for five years now. at first, everything was smooth sailing. but these past two years? it's like i'm living in a different universe. whatever i say or do seems to be the incorrect choice in her eyes; nothing pleases her! there's an ongoing feeling of inadequacy encroaching my every move!! it's exhausting trying to keep up with her expectations when they're ever-changing and just downright impossible! like yesterday, i did the laundry (as usual) and she said I mixed colors with whites... again! i'm not saying i'm blameless, but can't we communicate instead of this constant barrage of what's wrong?? relationships should have a balance (a harmony where both individuals feel appreciated and understood) but lately, it feels skewed beyond repair. 💔 admittedly, the whole situation has driven me to question myself more than once: am i the problem or is it something deeper within our dynamic? either way, i'll keep trying because she's worth it even if she doesn't see that in me right now;

Well compared to my previous vents i feel like im starting to find peace within my self little by little right but aside from that theres this gal shes cool same humor as me and is overall cool but when we hung out with all of our friends and later on that day she also said that she was looking for a person to tick this box slash thing and i hit that box but what im so confused is that well idk how i see her as for the first time im genuinely confused about my feelings because inwas sure i saw her as just a friends and now that the person said that im self conscious do like her or do i see her as a friend and then i start imagining things so im confused and i got rejected from this one girl but it didnt hurt me much i was ok its just turned awkward so we dont talkmuch even tho i still want to hang to not turn it awkward but thats the main reason for this other girl im genuinely afraid that if i do pursue it it fucks up the friendship i had and then they leave like that awkward girl is doing right nowits just weird and still sorting through my feelings just a rsnt but wanted some advice

So yeah, things have been really hard recently. Sorry if this is the wrong kind of story here, but i was told to use this site. Anyway, I'm in a really bad situation right now. And my boyfriend is at a camp so i can't talk to him about any of this for about another half a week. My dad has been really not great, ever but recently especially bad. And yeah, he just walked in on me [TW] .............c^tťing and he acted like i was stupid and started comparing my issues to his and saying that he's tried so hard to help me with that situation (he hasn't, he said i was stupid when he found out a while ago and occasionally says really bad things about it when he's mad). So yeah I'm just really upset and needed to type this out

Ok. If there is one thing I have learned in life is that I am a catch to absolutely no one. And I'm not looking for people to tell me I am beautfiul and amazing and all of that junk, because I've dealt with people who constantly need to be told how amazing they are and it is exhausting. I just want to know if I'm being unrealistic for what I want in a parter. First of, I am a gay woman in a VERY VERY red state, which means its hard to find people with the same sexuality anyways. Dating apps are a disaster. I have never wanted to be someones third, especially with some of the men that these women are dating or married to. Now I finally find this girl who actually likes how I look and is willing to put up with me, but she seems to really dislike all of the things I like. She hates romance movies or most movies that aren't horror, she doesn't like to read, she says she wants to travel but talks about how she will never get on a plane, she doesn't like rollar coasters or crafts that aren't legos. and truly the one thing that just irks me more than anything else is what she knows about the world. For context I am a college graduate, both of my parents have masters degrees, I have vistied historical sites since I was old enough to understand their significance. She cannot do simple addition to safe her life, she does these semi dangerous exeriments (like putting a battery down her garbage disposial to see what will happen, or tearing at a battery until it creates just a strip of lithium), she didn't even know how many states were in the U.S until a week ago when I caught her calling Tennessee a country rather than a state. Sometimes i have to break down my instructions or exactly what I am saying to her because she just doesn't get it. But she really really likes me, and I like how passionate she is and that she is trying to learn, but its been almost a month and it just drives me crazy sometimes. She has a lot of health problems and I have to remind her to have her medicine or check in with her that she is actually eating. Also she is talking about promise rings, moving intogether, marriage, and kids. I've told her that I don't know if this is forever. Truly I'm still working out a lot of things about myself. So it's not like I'm hiding all of this from her. i guess after watching another rom com and realizing that I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want to bore her made me wonder if I am looking for a love or a partnership that only exists in movies, or if by holding on I could be missing that person that makes me feel seen and complete in everything I do. I just don't know anymore.

it's just so complicated being around them all the time. like seriously, she's my best friend and we connect on so many levels, but her husband? he's practically got everything i ever wanted in someone. you know how some folks say 'the heart wants what it wants'? well, that's me right now. i'm crazy about him and he doesn't even know it.

when i think about the conversations we've had, the little shared jokes between us, it's like when harry met sally... but with a whole lot of wrong timing. he gets my humor and those subtle nuances that most people miss. but alas, he's bound to someone else. honestly, it's one of those things where i keep reminding myself that “patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”.

i'm 31 years old and still caught up in this tangled web of emotions that shouldn't be happening! i mean seriously, what do you do when you realize that your ideal match is already taken? it's not easy to compartmentalize all these feelings while maintaining friendly relations with both of them. feelings are messy and not particularly cooperative.

there's also the guilt factor lurking there for intruding emotionally where i'm not supposed to be; yet somehow there's an emotional tie and i'm left questioning my own moral compass. can't share this with anyone i hang out with cause they'll freak over it or misunderstand completely (trust me i've tried). still just venting here makes it feel a bit better 😊

it's a question that's been bugging me lately and i think it's worth exploring. are all psychopaths inherently evil? it's an assumption that pervades society, driven by media portrayals and dramatizations. sure, we have notorious examples like ted bundy or jeffrey dahmer. but not all individuals with psychopathy commit heinous crimes. some function quite well in society without causing harm. an article in the “journal of psychological studies” suggests that psychopathy is more complex than simply being good or bad.

now i ain't saying they're saints, far from it, but there's varying degrees to consider. some exhibit traits such as diminished empathy or lack of guilt but don't necessarily act on violent impulses. i've met people who probably tick off a few boxes of the hare psychopathy checklist and yet they run successful businesses or work in high-stakes environments like finance (notorious for attracting certain 'go getter' personalities). are they model citizens? maybe not according to traditional norms. what grates my nerves is the underlying fearmongering: every single time someone gets labeled a psychopath, it's like an imminent threat signal goes off in people's minds👀 not every so-called 'psycho' fits snugly into this archetype of monstrous deeds.

I am 40. I never had dreams of being anything. I am extremely introverted. I only feel good when I am in nature alone. Most of the time I feel scared. I can feel tension in my body. A pain I can not understand. I like people but not for a long time. I am always afraid of the future. Anticipation anxiety is very prominent in my dna. I do not care about work, a big house or stuff at all. Never have. Of course I like to have basic things and safety. I feel I do not belong in this world, country or this modern age. Have other people had this feeling?

soo, i never thought i'd feel this way, but having all this money is kinda terrifying. i'm only 22, and yeah, my family's got a lot of dough. like 'i could never work and still be fine' kind of money. sounds great right? but honestly, it just freaks me out man... living life on easy street ain't as simple as people think. you know how in movies where the rich kid's struggling with finding purpose? that's me...

i guess the comfort should make everything easier or whatever, but it feels like a noose sometimes rather than freedom. everyone's saying that i've got it made: just chill and live your best life! sounds cool until you just don't know what 'your best' even means anymore... there's a pressure to do something big cause anything less seems wasteful or disappointing to everybody around.

then there's this guilt, too. like why should i deserve all this when others are hustling day n night for pennies? my folks act like it's normal but having so much...makes me constantly second-guess every choice. can't even figure what 'working' means for someone who technically doesn't need to ever clock in...

is it possible that money can headlock your spirit instead of lifting you up? maybe i'll figure it out one day... meantime i'm feeling stuck in a gilded cage nobody warned you about growing up with privilege hanging over your head.

i got laid off a few months ago, and it seems as though my body's clock remains stuck there. Every morning without fail my eyes snap open at precisely 4am. It was the time I used to drag myself out of bed for work, and now it's just an unwelcomed reminder of what once was. Sleeping through this disruption has been impossible; my body does not care that I no longer need to be anywhere by dawn. Just because I lost that job doesn't mean I suddenly acquired the ability to sleep in like everyone assumes.

It's increasingly frustrating having to deal with this. I've tried adjusting my bedtime, all kinds of relaxation techniques before sleeping but none prevail over this rigid biological alarm system I'm cursed with right now. The speculation here is that after years of subjecting myself to such an early schedule, reprogramming might not be feasible anymore. While any semblance of leisure evades me during those ungodly hours, every attempt at productivity is met with bleary eyes and hardly functional cognitive faculties instead. It's like being taunted by the memory of employment yet powerless against confronting stagnant present circumstances while society shames you into feeling lazy when daylight graces your consciousness.

My mother has many friends. She has many activities. But she never seems to care about her children. I live 30 minutes away but she never comes to my house. I always go to her. She always has people around. But I never see her do anything for her children. It is very weird. We have always helped her. If one of her children is sick she does not care. My brother had a heart attack. My mother sends a message. But that is all. She can do anything, she has no handicap. If you come to her house she never ask if you want coffee or water. She just keeps on gardening or playing games. She makes her own lunch. Often I buy and prepare food for her. With other people she is very sociaal and gives food. A cold woman.

I have a twinsister and I really do not like her as a person. I will paint a situation of 5 years ago: she has a partner and 2 little girls. She is having an affair with a man that is also a friend. That man has a wife and a small child and they just had a baby. Both couples live in the same street. And the 2 couples are friends. I know people cheat. But the cheating went on while the wife of the man, she was cheating on, was pregnant and in labour. The idea the woman finds out her man is sleeping with my sister makes me feel so sad. You are full of hormones etc. Cheating is wrong. But I never imagined my sister has no respect for even a pregnant woman. She also visits this woman to see the baby and at night she is meeting her husband. This happend 5 years ago. Situation 5 years later: She now lives alone with her two children in a villa. My brother bought that house for her. He is making good money. The rest of my family have normal jobs btw. I am not from a rich family. She and her partner ended the relationship. My sister lives in a villa that is worth almost a millions euro's. Buying a house for your sister is insane. But a normal family house was not good enough? It is so insane. My brother and sister both live in another reality. I work with children and have a nice life. My sister also has a normal job. But because she was with a millionaire and because my rich brother bought a house for her. She also moves in the same 'rich people' circles. I find it really hard to relate to her at all. I do like her 2 children. They are reason I still see my twinsister. For the children.

Years ago I fainted and fell from a stairs during a social gathering. I woke up with people around me and the first thing I hear is my sister yelling at me: you have ruined my night! you did it on purpose! A complete insane reaction. I passed out and fell from the stairs to hurt my sister? From that moment on I started feeling unsafe around her. I was always walking on eggs because I was afraid of her. When I went to another country for 3 months to study. She started screaming at me the last minute before I had to leave for the gate at the airport. I do not even remember what she said anymore. I was young and very nervous. And at the most vulnerable moment she unleashed this rage against me. I was trembling in the gate. She is also always is screaming at staff in restaurants and hotels. if someone makes a human mistake, she will start screaming. She can not handle her emotions and needs to control everything. The thing is; if you meet her she is very open and nice, funny and good to be around with. But around people who are close to her she is just mean. I am sick of her. I do not want to be around her. She can get very irritated if someone is saying the wrong word or is looking the wrong way. From the outside people think my sister is so great and working hard. Doing her best in life. They always think we have this special bond because we are twins. She has not visited my house in 10 years. I live 80 miles away from her. I always went to her house. But the last years I stopped going to her house. Part because of the one way street. But mostly because of her nasty soul. She is very good at manipulating sitautions and playing the victim. I just can not handle her anymore. I just feel worthless when I am with her. I feel very small. She makes me insecure and nervous.

I wrote about a few situations. I could write a book. I just needed to release this anger and frustration. I am also not english speaking. Thank you for the chance of writing this this "letter".

I feel like my life is falling apart (and so my family...).... I'm 41F who thought she had it all together... only to watch everything unravel?! A couple of months ago, I made a catastrophic mistake...I cheated on my husband. It's something I never imagined I'd do: hurt him and shatter the trust that was the foundation of our relationship!!! My actions have led to what seemed impossible for us... a divorce 💔. Now, at this stage in life when everything should be more stable, I'm facing turmoil and regret, haunted by my choices every single day.

The divorce process is terrifyingly complex—much more than I ever anticipated. Every legal document feels like another nail in the coffin of my past life. How did it even come to this? 🤦‍♀️ I've read articles on cognitive dissonance and how people can curate narratives to justify their actions; it's surprisingly accurate when I look back on what I did and how I justified it (at least to myself) at the time. All those late nights reading endless threads about infidelity make me wonder if there are others out there feeling the same emptiness.

Every memory of trying to repair our broken home is tinged with guilt and despair...our plans for the future reduced to mere fragments scattered across calendar entries that would never come to pass. Friends try to comfort me with platitudes like "everyone makes mistakes" or "time heals all wounds," but it's hard to see past the immediate void where my marriage used to be 😓... In talking with them, they try to use jargon from self-help books but none of it seems applicable given the magnitude of my situation.

I don't seek sympathy or pity; just needed space for realities that hit harder than a freight train each morning as consciousness returns after restless sleep. What now? Where do you turn? Is rebuilding even possible at this age? Questions swirl endlessly without answer or resolution... so maybe just sharing this slice gives some temporary solace.

i'm 20 years old and a woman facing something i honestly never thought i'd deal with. self harm. it's strange and confusing, and now that i've started, i just can't seem to stop! my family; they're worried sick but truthfully, their concern isn't really affecting me. should it? i don't know.

in the past few months, self harm has become somewhat of an anchor for me... one that i never asked for or particularly wanted, yet here we are. there's a sort of relief in it, if you can believe that. when things spiral out of control, this methodical act brings clarity in moments where none exists otherwise.

i question if i'm addicted? is it even possible to become addicted to harming myself? some days, it's like i'm standing under relentless storm clouds waiting for a break but finding none!

even with all the doubts sparking through my mind (shouldn't have to be like this!), i kinda feel stuck in this twisted cycle. am I seeking attention or merely releasing pent-up frustration??

has anyone else been here before??! would love any advice or personal stories; anything at all 😊