Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 14

Is it normal for me to feel hatred towards people who haven't done anything, like I've noticed that I'm genuinely starting to dislike one of my closet friends, but the thing is, is that they haven't done anything wrong. they've been nothing but supportive towards me and the things I've been going through but not matter what I still can't shake the feeling that I don't feel the same way I used to towards them. I would stop being friends with them for this certain reason but I don't want to loose them as well, we've been through so much together, I wouldn't be able to forget about them, but I also don't understand why I feel the way I do...

Hey all, It's currently 2:40am as i write this. I really don't know what to say or do i guess. Well here goes nothing.

I'm 20M, and currently in a situationship with this person (21F) She's been one of my best friends for the last 8 years, and about a year ago we both realized we had feelings for each other. We can't be together at least not yet. We're both kind of struggling mentally. She's pretty much already my girlfriend without the title, and I haven't felt this way about someone since my best friend died. (My best friend became my girlfriend for 6 months before she passed) In the last 4 months she's had some drama and issues with an ex and a friend. Each time, my fault. Her ex emotionally manipulated her into dating him and he well, was threatened by me i guess. It's a whole situation. Another girl who (Wasn't really my friend a mutual) joined us for some gaming and spread lies about me and her which made it's way to her EX. (This was about 4 months ago)

Now today, her ex friend i guess removed her and they also had a thing a little over a year ago. He wanted more, she wanted to be friends, and the only reason they're having issues is because I told a mutual of ours what was happening between me and her, well, that mutual told her friend and they had a falling out over it. Now I've only had a panic attack twice in my life, First time was when that mutual told her friend and tonight. I'm just so fucking scared to lose her, I've practically given up on trying to find someone for me, but she's different. We've always been close and have always had a connection. Which is why I am trying so hard to make this thing work. I'm honestly giving this all I have left. I don't have it in me to try and start over with someone new, this is it for me. I don't want to lose this. Because i know this is the most right It'll ever be. I've been lied too, cheated on, and just abused (In all 3 senses) and I don't, I can't let myself fall to that again. So this is the last chance for me. I don't know what to do.

I’m constantly judged in my family and I feel like I’m not allowed to share my opinions. I’ve always hated zoos and beaches and parties and I’m uncomfortable with them. I’m constantly there thought because my family wants to go and I’m not allowed to oppose them. My brother though makes everything worse. He’s very manipulative and toxic. He wanted to go to an open zoo today and said it in a way to make it seem like mom’s idea which pressured my dad. I told them I didn’t want to go to a zoo so my brother made it sound like I want to stay home on my phone all day which made my mom furious. I honestly wanted to go out too but just not to a zoo. My mom argued with me and brought up my depression as a joke while my brother kept making sarcastic comments about me to make her even more furious with me. I came to the conclusion that sharing my opinion in this house is just not an option but even if I stay quiet my brother tells my parents that I’m “acting depressed again”. I just want all of this to end.

I've just started at college and met a lot of new people and made a few friends.

I also feel like I don't fit in / like I'm the odd one out .

by that what I mean is I spend all lunch and brake in a separate room to everyone else as I find the noise really overwhelming and overstimulating and generally struggle in noiey inviroments.

will I ever find e anywhere I truly fit in. I also have Adhd and Anxiety. 💛😔🫶

I’ve been struggling with functional depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. I stopped taking most of my medications on my own for months because I started to hate them. They made me gain a lot of weight — the doctor even told me it was just an increased appetite and wouldn’t actually make me fat, but my weight went up a lot and hasn’t dropped even after stopping the meds.

Now it’s really heavy on me mentally. I don’t even want to look at the pills anymore. After stopping, I can’t control my mind from going to negative thoughts. Right now, I’m only taking the medication for my newly diagnosed bipolar disorder.

How should handle this? How do people usually cope with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder in a healthier way?

I feel that many people disrespect one's solitude. In fact, they see the messages one writes about it and attack it, making it seem like a shock. Indeed, loneliness isn't one's entire world; however, when faced with difficult experiences, I think it's advisable to spend time alone to reflect on it.

Many people tend to exaggerate about loneliness. They make it seem like it's everything in life. I'd like to express to many people that the world isn't just your friends, but your very life as well. It's about having a balance.

I was recently writing a story on a writers' website, and they started judging me, not the story. I feel like people sometimes get carried away when one talks about the subject; they try to find fault with the other, the origin of why I wrote this way or why I said that. They try to personalize everything. On a writers' website or in a group about it, what matters is just getting into what's at stake, not going beyond it.

Loneliness is a beautiful topic to explore given that it's not often talked about. I feel it's helpful for reaching boundaries. I used to be someone who spent time in groups and always sought to be part of one, but I reached a point where I noticed things weren't proceeding naturally. Also, when I somehow looked beyond or let myself get carried away, I always ran into trouble. I feel that loneliness is a precise time to see what I was getting involved in. I think it will give me the perspective to see where I truly belong. It's not about having a place because others make room for you; that speaks to the fact that sooner or later that will fall apart.

I still don't understand, and that's why the character's comment affects me so much, because it is so questionable. No one knows what loneliness entails at first. It's all a fear of sensations, and no one seeks tools to deal with them. If you're lonely for some reason and you don't see any other way out, in order to guarantee your integrity, I personally believe that we need to find ways to do something with what we feel, not wallow in it, or see what we're experiencing as hell. I feel that wouldn't be fair to us.

People prevent us from delving deeper into loneliness. They always want to get away from it at all costs. That's why, of course, many of us, when we were with our families, it was a segregated place, most likely, because it meant not being with others. Why should not being with others be bad? Indeed, there are times when we may feel bad, but we must take into account that sometimes people won't be there, and we can't allow ourselves to abandon ourselves in those moments. The search for others can't become an addiction; that is, the fear of falling into a situation, which could be, is present; you never know.

Many therapists radically reject this idea. In fact, you get the ambiguous idea that being alone isn't always good, but of course, one wonders under what conditions. These therapists aren't serving as guides for us to consolidate these conditions. In fact, therapy itself, for many professionals, is an ambiguous approach, which surely results in a repetition of notions. The idea is that one can consolidate facts to gain the momentum to act, in an integrated manner, not in an intellectualized way, an issue in which the therapist should support us, but many are unable to visualize, to facilitate the process, something that other people who aren't trained can't do.

I remember a therapist telling me how to think when the point is precisely to think naturally, spontaneously, to deal precisely with whatever is at stake. Otherwise, what you're doing is conspiring a kind of patch, a spectrum of things, that merely verify that what you're doing is right, according to the character's approval. It's not about exerting control over ideas, but rather about taking whatever paths we must take. Frankly, today, the idea of ​​resorting to violence is ridiculous, given that we always seek stability by inertia, always; that's what our processes—our personal processes—are based on. We may appear to be going to be violent, but in the end, let's be clear, this is a facade or at least a warning of when we are being taken to extreme situations where we are not as we always were because we are not in the same conditions as always.

With the mindset I've developed over the last few days, I feel deeply impacted by the behavior of these people and these therapists. In the end, things turn out to be completely similar: a terrible mental health professional is the same as an individual who doesn't know what to do with a certain circumstance—the same, but under a range of prejudices. I feel disappointed by the therapists I sought out because the very idea is to provide solutions, methodologically concrete answers, not something outside of them. Without methodology, then, we're doing nothing.

I feel that many therapists stick to following protocols, in a way that's completely detached from the case, applying them however they feel comfortable. This is the reason they act distantly and without delving into the case, always trying to get the person to follow the path. The aforementioned therapist always looked for ways to address the distancing she created from her; I understand that this was a symptom; to this day, I doubt that this person has realized that I didn't want to work with her. In fact, this character returned at my father's request, despite all this evidence. He simply speaks to me as someone who isn't concerned, who seeks the origin of the issue in my personality, detaching himself from the notion that if I act this way in the relationship, it's because of the pink issue in the relationship. My senses aren't disconnected from reality. Organically, I'm fine. But this being, even with a doctorate, I didn't understand this, and I highly doubt I still understand it today, and it's somewhat disappointing. Frankly, I wouldn't want to think this way because money was invested in it, and it hurts.

The person's comment affects me greatly because it makes me return to that therapist. Of course, this allows me to develop the story. In fact, I feel so frustrated that it has become a constant headache, and it has been lessening as I compose my story of interaction with the character. This is something I don't allow therapists, or other therapists, precisely because of the fear of repression. It's something that's extremely difficult to do.

Every day, I also find myself surprised by another therapist. It's that when he becomes aware of many things, it really hurts. I didn't like these considerations I'm receiving because they're hurting me. Anyway, with this other therapist, despite the disqualification he made, the establishment's entry into conflict with me to guide me through life by comparing me with others, restricting me in the expression of my feelings, and scolding me for making people outside the office look bad for me by moving things around, going beyond the purpose of the consultation, this guy had the good fortune to express that he didn't have the maturity at that moment to handle the treatment. Under the pressure I was under, I think it was only natural for that to happen. I don't know where the hell this guy was, frankly. I understand that maturity for him is the ability to give in to whatever he wants. I don't see this guy as a therapist or as a carnival.

Im considering ending it tonight because Im tired of being treated like Im some stupid step child by my own grandmother its either that or I call my dad and see if I cant move me and my pets over to his farm

Hi, hope that you're ok and holding it together to the best of your ability.

This is just a quick vent. Understandably, these are feelings that would just be temporary, I get that. However, there is clearly some challenge here that requires solutions.

I am trying to move out but that is proving quite an issue on several accounts: 1) I am in the country with the highest unemployment figures in the world. We have students with Masters Engineering qualifications unable to find work, 2) Moving out is not a priority in my house, in my opinion, 3) I am expected to work around everyone else's schedule, which cuts into my hours for job hunting, international scholarship applications, 4) You're seen basically like a traitor if you won't comply in that regard, but everyone else is allowed to be lazy and have their own hours for doing what they want.

There are other reasons but I feel these are the main ones worth highlighting.

I just feel trapped and unheard. I am confronting this issue with them today. However, there is still that fear that I would be ostracised. I feel a tad miserable because of this.

So it's the 26 of September. The past few days have a bit of mess. I've some better than others but i was a bit low energy and tired. On some days i only did the bare minimun and even less. On others i got a bit ahead of my work even if not by much. Yesterday my dog died. It's a weird way so Say It ig but honestly the way i'm feeling Is a bit weird right now too. It was a very fast thing. Didn't even have time to get her to the vet. It was all so sudden. In the morning she was alright. Eating playing. And then when i came back from school She wasn't eating or drinking and didn't have much strenght. And by the evening she wasn't with us anymore. She had been a bit weird the past few days. More cuddly out of nowhere She had always been a little weird. Attached to us by the hip a moment, completly out of our sight the next. I hadn't thought anything of It. But now i realized she was saying goodbye. It's kinda of sureal. My chest hurts. I haven't really cried about It yet. I've come close. I don't even know if i want to. It's so weird. Everything Is weird recently. None of the moments i'm living feel real. Idk what's going. Everything feels too normal and too different all at the same time. It happened, i was there to see her leave. And then she was gone and everything Just.. continued. I didn't really sleep last night. I was scared and anxious. I was scared of having nightmares. And then i crashed in the early morning. And then i woke up just like normal. And everything Is Just moving on. Even though It feels like It shouldn't.

Maybe It's Just the shock. I'm having trouble processing It honestly. My room Is a bit of mess. I have things to do. Lists and work to do. But I don't feel like doing anything. Idk. Maybe i'm exagerating? It's been very long since i've been in simirliar situation. I was much younger then and i was very sheltered from It ig and i think i was too young and stupid to really get It. This time. I was there everything moment since day One and untill the last moment. And i've seen her say goodbye i've seen her leave us. Out of no where. I've seen the look into her eyes when It happened. Maybe i should've looked away. Idk. idk how to feel. I've Just had this weird feeling in my chest since.

So recently I’ve been getting super worried because sometimes my vision randomly goes blurry, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m stressed or if there’s something actually wrong with me. Like, I’m 16 and I already deal with a lot of anxiety from school, friends, and just life in general, but this new thing is freaking me out more than usual. When I’m sitting in class, especially in math or history when I have to stare at the board for a long time, it feels like my eyes just won’t focus and the words kind of smear together. At first I thought maybe I just needed new glasses, but I went to the eye doctor not long ago and he said my prescription barely changed, and that what I’m describing doesn’t really match up with my test results. He told me it might be stress-related, like “ocular fatigue,” and that kind of stuck in my head. So of course I went home and googled it, and I found all these articles and people online saying stress and anxiety can actually make your vision blur because of muscle tension or even breathing weird when you’re nervous. It made sense because this happens the most when I’m panicking, like during tests or when I have to talk in front of people. But at the same time I keep overthinking like, what if it’s something worse? I read about migraines with aura, blood sugar drops, and other scary things, and that makes me spiral even more. So now I’m just stuck asking myself over and over—could anxiety really be the reason my vision blurs, or am I missing something serious that needs attention?

There was one day that still bothers me a lot: I was doing a class debate, and my heart was beating way too fast, my palms were sweaty, and all of a sudden the paper I was reading from went blurry like someone smudged it on purpose. It lasted for maybe five minutes, then once I sat back down and calmed down, my sight went back to normal. That kind of makes me think it is anxiety-related, because when my body chilled out, the blurriness went away too. I even read that when you’re anxious, your body makes more adrenaline and cortisol, which messes with your breathing and blood flow, and that can cause temporary vision changes. It’s weird because sometimes it happens when I’m not even feeling that anxious, and that makes me question everything again; like maybe I am just overthinking but maybe not. My best friend told me, “you’re worrying about worrying,” and she’s probably right, but I can’t stop noticing it. I started keeping a little log in my notebook about when it happens, how I’m feeling, and how long it lasts so I can show it to my doctor if it keeps going. I don’t want to ignore it just in case, but I also don’t want to stress myself more if it really is just anxiety playing tricks on me. Do you think anxiety can actually cause blurred vision, or is that just something people say online? And if you’ve had the same thing, how did you figure out if it was harmless or something you needed help with; honestly it’s both comforting and confusing to realize that my brain and body can mess with each other like this 😅

ok so like more than a few months ago, almost a year ago. i ( 14 trans masc lad) was really desperate so i went on discord and discadia and sought out pedophiles on map/aam discord servers. and one of them (uhh he’s 21 and a cis guy) i still talk to and i have his number and everything. but i only talk to him on my burner phone. i can’t tell if it’s really bad or not

bc like yes sometimes he makes things sexual but like whatever i don’t care n sometimes i dont wanna. but its 1 night long thing of sending him stuff until his cums like once or twice a week in exchange for friendship and someone who never judges me and is always there for me. and without him i would have killed myself. and i do the sex stuff bc i dont want him to leave bc he’s the only consistent person in my life and no matter what i go back to him!!! i’ve been able to leave him for a few months but then i always go back. even if i try to get better or tell someone and it would make me really sad if he went to jail or got in trouble.

and i don’t wanna get in trouble either. and it’s also my fault for encouraging it, enabling it and seeking it out. and it’s not like he’s isolating me bc he always says have fun when i got to hang out with my family or friends. and i do some gross things and he still calls me good and i just wanna be good. and he’s a cis guy and he sees me as a real boy! and never misgenders me or anything. which means a lot to me. and i know this isn’t good but does it really matter like would you rather i be dead? idk. and there isn’t an easy way to fix this and i’ve rather have something than have nothing.

I felt so uncomfortable when my mum wanted to know about my dad, like I'm some sort of a private detective for her. She could ask it herself to him. Like if my grandparents (dad side) wanted to buy a car she asked me instead of him. She shushed me when i was too loud it was weird. I've also felt a bit disgusted lately, I can't let go how she whispers to my ear about my dad. Idk it just makes me feel uncomfortable remembering that and reminding myself of that.

ok not rn but in 2 years :D like everyone’s keep saying the ‘economy so horrible’, ‘no one’s hiring’ bro I don’t want to imagine how it will be in 2 years 😭 well it could be much better? Well like how should I prepare right now to get myself a job when I graduate??

Ok, here we go...I'm stuck in this rut of how do I proceed from here kind of thing. In a nutshell, I've been friends with this guy for about 4-5 years now, but we really started becoming best friends over the last two years. We're both in our 30s. About 7 months ago we started really hanging out more and having weekend movie watching sessions and dinners. He would reach out to me more then and engage in conversation, as well as asking to hang out. We never got past the cuddling stage, but I could definitely feel the chemistry and attraction between us. I know we were both holding back because I was just finishing up a divorce and I wasn't yet officially single. About 5 months ago, I got brave and admitted having feelings for him. We are both very open with each other about anything on our minds. The conversation was cordial, but he stated that he didn't know if he felt that way about me and wanted to "cool" things off because of the fact the divorce wasn't official yet. I completely understood from a moral perspective and respected that (not looking for judgement on this though). The kicker part is when we continued the convo, I flat out asked if he would ever see a future with us in it or if the idea of "us" is out of the question. He said he didn't know, and couldn't see into the future, but he wasn't going to close the door on the idea of there being an "us". He also is the type of person who would say if there wasn't a chance. So naturally, you can see how this gave me hope.

We didn't hang out as much after that and we still don't as frequently, BUT here's the kicker part(s): we still talk almost every day (even if he's not as talkative as he was in the beginning when things felt newer), he still confides in me, I still get invited to go with him to visit with his parents every other weekend (his parents/family loves me), we'll get quick dinners together, he's gifted me several things in the last two months, etc. Basically what is missing from before is the amount of quality alone time we get. Maybe he isn't committing to that because he doesn't want to give the wrong impression, but when we aren't in a busy phase at work/life, he will actually reach out suggesting getting back into watching shows together. I also wonder if he doesn't want to jump into anything because I'm still only a couple months divorced and he doesn't want to give others the impression that I got divorced to be with him (which isn't the case. he was not the reason for my divorce in the least)

SO THIS IS WHERE I'M STUCK. I'm so smitten with him, and have never felt this way about anyone, and don't have anyone else in my life, so on one hand I kind of say to myself, I'll take what I can get. On the other hand, I wish I could just walk away and give it some distance to let him figure out if he wants me to be that special someone in his life. He hasn't been in a relationship in A WHILE, so part of me also wonders if he's just super used to his solidarity and is really out of practice. My mind always asks myself, if there was no possibility of us being a thing, wouldn't he have just said that there was no possibility of that instead of saying he wasn't "closing the door" on that potential? Also, if there wasn't the possibility, why would he go to the lengths he does with certain things still? IDK! These are things that I feel people our age wouldn't do if they were "just friends" with each other and my close friends/family agree.

If you've gone through something like this, or had someone you know go through this, or you're genuinely just good at reading people and situations and have advice/opinions to offer, I'm all ears!

why do people insist on being so cruel??? i swear, it's like they see someone enjoying their life and doing what makes them happy, and BOOM!! suddenly, they become their personal target board. i'm 17 and have always been a fan of Pokémon. it's like my haven, a place i escape to when the real world gets too insane to handle. catching Pokémon on my phone or swapping cards with friends is my way of destressing, yet all i get is judgment and mockery from the "cool" crowd at school. they just can't seem to comprehend the joy it brings me, so they mock what they don't understand. frankly, it's exhausting.

is it that hard for people to mind their own business?? everyone is always yapping about how young people should be free to express themselves but then turn around and bash us for the very choices we make! it's incredulous, really! collecting Pokémon cards might not be their thing, but why rain on someone's happiness parade??? what's the point in belittling others for their harmless passions??? i just can't wrap my head around it. life is complicated enough without people making it even worse by tossing judgmental comments around like confetti. it seems they'd rather wear masks of scorn than a simple smile of acceptance.

but even so, i'll keep my head high and continue loving my Pokémon world! it's not going anywhere, and neither am i. at the end of the day, it's not their approval i'm seeking!!! if anything, their constant negativity has only made me more resilient... i'll have you know that i've got a Charizard that could burn all naysayers to ash if it were real! and who knows?? someday they might realize the importance of being open-minded and accept that happiness comes in varied forms. for now, i'll let their words roll off my back like water off a Psyduck and stay hopeful for a more understanding future.