Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 10

I'm 19F and my gf is 21F, my best friend lives with me (M23). he started acting weird when me and my gf started dating but i thought nothing of it. Untill he started saying bad things abt my gf or pointing out "Red flags" randomly; She is one of the nicest peolple ive met and we've been dating for 5 months. He started saying he didnt want her over at the apartment anymore and such. We got in a fight over it but i eventually folded and now i stay at hers most nights. Untill last night when i got a call from my gf that at her work he went up to her and told her to break up with me. He called me a whore and said she was too good for me and that she needed to end it. i was furious and now im staying at hers full time because she knows he was lying.

I’m dating this guy right now. He’s absolutely amazing and deserves the world but I want to break up with him. Not because I don’t love him anymore. The thought on breaking up with him makes me sad. But I’m not in the right mental space right now. I feel exhausted and tired and just done with everything. I told him multiple times that I feel like that before dating but he kept pushing it and now we’ve been dating for a couple months. I made the decision to break up with him because I think it’s best for me and him. How do I do it?

I have 2 accounts which one is fake and bullies ppl and my main account is to protect those ppl is that ok?

Me and my ex girlfriend were in a relationship for two and a half years. Until we hit a wall. Wed been camping and her parents loved me and so did she. But unfortunately as she moved off to uni we realised we were in two very different places. I loved that girl with all my heart and wouldve married her given another couple years (were both 19) and i know she loved me but it just wasnt meant to be it seems. It hurts to lay in bed and realise shes not the smiling pretty face next to me anymore and realising ill never be able to give her a long warm hug again. All those nights spent listening to vinyls and slow dancing and chatting and just loving eachother comes flooding back. After she left it felt like my hesrt was torn out and taken with her never to return. Shes moved on and has a boyfriend already but i just cant because id devoted myself to her and to moving in together and getting married and having kids etc. Hell even moving to her home country for a more peaceful life together. Now i just feel so.... empty.

hey, im tj and i would like to vent.

my life sucks and i feel as if i dont matter.

my sister is constantly rude to me, my mom is busy and doesnt have time to talk and my dad would belittle me if i tell him aboutt my struggles.

the only people keeping me alive are my friends.

I have these day dreams where I torture people or I have to sacrifice myself to save everyone else and some days I'm happy but other days I feel like the life force I was born with is fading away into nothing.

I'm a graduating student this year but the college I'm attending is combined with its own high school, elementary and daycare. It gets pretty hectic during school events but on weeks with regular agenda, it's mainly a shitshow waiting to happen.

Apart from having innocent professors get blame for fuckery they didn't do, the classes are downright useless and a waste of time. The instructors are awesome but their subjects need to go to hell.

But what really takes the cake right now is its most recent nightmare fuel: receiving only one day of no classes (when it's supposed to be three) after the school games that stole everybody's Saturday and Sunday wrapped up.

In case it wasn't clear enough, this school is run by a Catholic reverend so you can tell he's a royal pain in everybody's ass. If you are truly devoted to beliefs, this guy can inspire you to turn your back on all of that and be an atheist. I swear, he's such a fucking joke that isn't funny.

Apparantly, the school games weren't good enough for his pompous ass because nobody was cheering until their voices were hoarse and because the events themselves didn't receive as much praise as he wanted. So, as punishment, we only got Monday free and then classes resume immediately.

My birthday celebration falls on that date, which is what pisses me off. I was promised Monday, Tuesday and fucking Wednesday off but leave it to Mr. Holy Water to fuck up the plans. What a waste of a good fucking outfit and a good fucking time with friends. I hope that alcoholic son of a bitch takes his blessed microphone and stick it up his Oh-So-Holy ass.

Can't wait to graduate and get the fuck out of this hellhole. I can only have fun with friends at a limited time, because every single fucking meeting or event requires attendance sheets. Every absence will cost you money.

FUCK THE SCHOOL, FUCK THE DIRECTOR, FUCK HIS PUBLICITY, FUCK EVERYTHING HE STANDS.

This sort of involves two things so basically, i had a maths test which i had been away to learn one of the topics and this topic took up two pages of my five page test, so i skipped the pages and i wouldn't say i did particularly well on the rest three so my estimated score is 20-30 percent. Im in one of the two advanced maths classes and my teacher is trash but that's not the point.

Today i heard from my friend who is in the other advanced maths class and before they had even gotten their results for the same test, their teacher literally announced the worse scores and who got them IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS, WITH THE GOAL OF HUMILIATING THEM. The person who got the lowest score, I'll call him James, he got a 50 percent score. Keep in mind that it's advanced so it's basically a 60-70 percent standard score. The teacher bullied him in class. Literally. She purposely picked on him to answer questions with just a "you know why I'm picking you". In the school hallway, she pointed at him and said "look it's the boy who brought the class average down" and a whole lot of similar stuff. On Friday after another humiliating comment was thrown at him by the teacher, James snapped and shouted back. The teacher apologised after but i don't think that this sort of behaviour is excusable with just an apology. If a student were to ridicule another student the same way that she had, they would've faced a detention at least. And the fact that she didn't think of a way to help James, she just ridiculed him is disgusting and not something a teacher should do. She never thought that maybe the student wasn't bad, It was her teaching that was the problem.

That exact teacher is my homeroom tutor. Tomorrow we get our results but she probably already knows mine and i don't even want to imagine what she'll do to me if she did that to James who got a 50. Im not in her maths class, I'm in her pcg. She keeps saying to me that i better get a 100 because i skipped the swimming carnival.

Due to my best friend aka the person I loved so so so so so much leaving me saying he didn't care and that I was a B I t c h I tried to kms but didn't due to the fear or pain

I like him really much but ofcourse he likes someone else. Someone who is much more beautiful than me. What the hell is wrong with me? Why cant anyone ever like me? Why is it always my friends? Why the hell am I so ugly? Is it bc my looks he doesnt like me? What should I do better to make him like me?

I’m 14- I’ll be 15 within the month, and I cant remember hardly anything of my childhood up until 14. I get that this is the time of edgy posting, with puberty and all that, no? But all I ask of you is to keep an open mind while you listen. I hope writing to you helps me recall.

But this has been bothering me in a way I can’t quite explain, an ache within me that tells me something is wrong. I feel like as a person, I only exist on the surface, an outer shell without a solid inner being. Or maybe it’s the other way around, like I’m buried in someone else? I don’t know where I am, but i’m not whole. I don’t know who I am, I do I know that’s still forming- normal at this age, but I feel like I was thrown into this body a year ago to pick up the pieces of someone who left without a trace. It’s so frustrating because WHERE DID THAT PERSON GO and why did they LEAVE me here. They’re not something I can prove, the only evidence I have of them is what people who knew them tell me.

But stay with me. The first time I felt awake or present as the me now was January 12th 2025, a MONTH ago, like I was shook from a daze. This might sound batshit insane to you, but remember what I’ve told you above. when my sibling made jest about part of my mother’s beating of me I didn’t even know took place, he asked, “You don’t remember?” I didn’t, but I *felt* it and was sure, like the flood the damn held crashed into me and swept me from my stagnant state. my heart began to race- head light and breath hard to find, panic, I needed to excuse myself. It took me days, but when I broke down, i finally felt like a breathing human again, for something I hardly think happened to me- like I recovered a piece of an otherwise blank slate (the beatings do not go on to this day, we have a good relationship). I journaled comprehensively about it. That was the first time I’ve felt connected to… something? I remember telling someone that I felt weird after that day, like a different person, that hasn’t gone away. But being able to remember something makes me realize how much I can’t remember, and that drives me insane. I try to remember why I still do things I do, what’s influences it, why I’m so anxious about people finding something out about me (that I don’t even know ?), so conscious about the words I use to formulate my thoughts, why they take so long for me to express, why I care about people, why I was too depressed to get out of bed a few months ago or to even hold friendships with people- and how all that just changed with a snap? That isn’t how it works. That’s what makes it even harder to trust myself as I am now. People ask me questions about myself, about an integral part of me, and I stare into space without finding a single answer. It makes me feel like I’m not real.

I’ve stumbled upon an old video of me today, one I had no recollection of, happily squealing in play with my family in our old apartment- and it sent me into a panic like the one before, it’s what got me to write this to you. There was nothing wrong with the content, but I’ve discovered it might be because I couldn’t identify that person as *me*, or seeing that apartment again paralyzed me with indescribable fear- and in tandem made me feel I was losing hold on myself again.

Enough of me. If you made it this far, I implore your perspective on the matter. How can I find what I’ve lost? Or center myself right again as this foreign person? Please leave your thoughts below if you have any- if you relate, or just wanna comment, I appreciate any of it.

Thank you -Anonymous scourge fan

I feel almost completely alone deep down. The people in my life seem to just abandon me at my lowest moments now. And I struggle with extreme disdain and self loathing. Yet I also feel like I’m being ridiculous at times, like I don’t deserve to be feeling the way I do because I haven’t experienced enough badness in my life. I don’t get therapy enough. I make poor choices continuously. I am really at the edge of losing hope for myself entirely. And all of it sparked from girl problems, or at least, the recent parts of it. So I guess, what would people have thought if they had seen all of this on a reality tv show?

It's so hard not having anyone when you need them most.

Why do I always feel like I'm begging for your attention, like I'm the only one who wants to be with you?

Will you look for me first when I'm gone? Does it really have to be like that for you to finally realize my importance?

Everyday is a battle, between me against the world. I feel so alone, unworthy of anyone's attention, atleast that's what I've always felt, and still am.

Maybe I just need to accept that everyone has their own lives and that I am no one's priority. I can't just ask them to do something and expect them to be able to; like spending time with me during my dark days.

Recently I was thinking about what my ten worst experiences of my life would be, because it came up in conversation that a problem I was having with an assignment didn't make the top list, and as I was making the list in my head, I realized that and experience I had didn't even make the list and I felt like I needed to tell someone.

The experience was that I was seriously considering suicide-like searching up what amounts of household chemicals it would take to kill me and considering stealing some of the more toxic ones from my schools science lab- and ended up texting(so no would hear) the 988 suicide hotline. The person I was talking to essentially told me that my problems weren't immediate enough for them to help with, suggested I speak with my therapist instead and offered some very generic advice, at which point I ended the texting. At that point, I was not feeling any better than before I texted the hotline, but I was eventually able to calm myself down and stop planning my death.

This is less about how awful that experience was and more about how I have had ten experiences which were more emotionally distressing than something that bad and there were several others after that that came close. I don't understand what I have done to deserve this much pain and suffering in my life and I don't understand why people have hurt me in the ways they have when there was nothing stopping them from helping me or at least leaving me alone. I hate that I've had so much hurt inflicted upon me that my experience with suicide didn't even make the list of my top ten worst experiences and that people chose to inflict many of these things did so for the petty reasons they did.

Anyways, despite all of this I am currently functioning shockingly well and you wouldn't know all this from meeting me, I just wish I didn't have to be so strong and felt like I should tell someone

Today is Sun, why the heck did that damn woman ask me NOW? She has 5 other days on the week to ask. She even texted. I can understand emails. Why TEXT? She asked for access to download the transcript of the meeting that SHE recorded. If she wants to work on that thing now, that's her own damn business.

I can ignore her, but this time I am mad.

I'm first time mom, my kid is sick, she is much much more difficult than usual.