Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 13

so their is a boy in my year and I've tried to be nice to him but he hates me for a mistake I made years ago ( I think maybe 3) and he is rude and tosses me around, now I have had a weird feeling it feels like crying but I stop breathing and my heart goes way to fast he worked with a main bully lets call him Osman he made me think I was horrible

also sorry I wont use punctuation

he told me I was a failure

I'm a weak trusting person

so all over the years people have left me or bullied me. because I have little things of skill

I am male btw its important because im friends with some girls all my male friends left so now people say I'm trans ( which is fine btw its just my school is homophobic) so I change my personality a lot too fit others but I'm still hated

and so everyone hates me bc I'm weird

so the bully Osman he comes gets a major which is the biggest problem 3 = expulsore basically

'so I remove that now he's nice to me but the other bully isn't he tosses my books around hurts me and its fine I tell a trusted adult

who is kind now today

the bully and osman I accidently sent his birthday invite to the year bellow us and that was a mistake I didn't mean it he didn't he attacked me and I ran of my friends ran to me saying they were hunting me down they had snithced to the trusted kind adult who new the bully was bullying me

Osman who after a year were friends with me betrayed me

and the teacher told me I did stuff wrong and to rub salt in the wound after knowing

the bully had

- nearly tossed my chromebook out the window which would have cost me to pay the school 700

- attacked me for years

- bullied me for years

- made me have self loathing for years

she called him a nice boy

I feel as if my artistic vibe and energy is going, for drawing? I'm focusing on a doll, but I don't even draw a bit now. I only drew for school projects, a friend, and now for a poster, but not personal reasons like earlier, and I'm working on a doll of mine. What's happening? And for 3 months earlier I stopped drawing at all, and rarely did it, so what's happening? Am I losing my ability? Am I losing interest in the one thing I was good at? Am I gonna end up like my dad who's jaded with art and now he's into speakers and more on work? Is my imagination gonna go away, just like dad says his went away? Am I just gonna become as jaded as an adult, and not like anything creative? I'm only creating a doll! It's not drawing, it's just a doll! With eye's I made which look weird! If I had UV resin, a silicone mold, and decal pupils, it would've ended up better, but I used clay and paint, and it looks so weird. Man, I'm not even good at the new thing. And when I sealed her face paint with liquid glue because I didn't have varnish, it looked fine, but near her mouth she had open spaces and it looked like pimple scarring...it was a plastic doll from the stores, since I can't find even the doll the main artists use in my area (Monster High) and when I do it's too expensive, and the head was some material (vinyl). Maybe I'll just ditch the doll and become an adult with 0 imagination. I may be doing the wig, but it's trash. I don't even have all the hair colors. Isn't growing up just realizing that these hobbies won't help you in the future, and that no adult does art. No serious adult does that, they do taxes, work 9-7 (where I live), hunch their backs, binge coffee, reminisce about their wasted life, marry their spouse out of obligation and same with kids, drink beer, smoke, work on a computer job, argue. I guess in India Out 2, Joy is right, she's right when she says, "I guess when you grow up, you feel less joy." Heck, even my dad's only hobby is speakers, but even then he says he lost interest in his art and just focused on work. And all I see him is slog, have neck pain and shoulder pain and, drink coffee, yell with colleagues, and sleep. And if this is adult joy, I won't hesitate to kill myself at 18, because we all have the same ending, death. I'm just saying, suicide is justified, don't we all die at some point? And if you have any ideas, wanna help me smoothly do it so at least it doesn't hurt?

Im about to graduate highschool and so of course I constantly get asked "what are you doing to do next". And somehow i manage to talk about my future in a way that I even start to believe i have it figured out. But as soon as the conversation ends I realize that i really dont have my shit together. I thought I had it all planned out, ill get an apprenticeship, go to college for the course ill need to move up in my field, make better money, and all will be good. But as much as I talk about it i cant figure out where to start, I know what i should do but i dont know how to do it, i get stuck in a loop of thinking I know what im doing and then have it hit me that i have no clue where i am. Im not stupid, i can do well in school, infact ive been keeping my grades high 80s and 90s but my last year was rough and its going to make it hard for me to get into a good school with those stains on my transcript, I dont know how to start but i know i have too soon. If i can get this figured out eventually im going to make a book to tell people what to expect, because i can only wish i had a book to guide me through all of this now. I will figure it out, even though i feel like i cant right now. I just wish i was actually as organized as i make people believe i am.

I'm 13, and I get periods. They hurt sometimes but they tell me I'm fine. I've had them when I was 9, which is pretty early for some reason. I've got bad days, okay days, and days where for some reason my pubic regions hurt, not my abdomen. I've never taken painkillers for this since hey, I could at least manage for a while. When it's too much, sitting down somewhere helps and hot showers too. But some women don't like it, and hate it so much they take birth control, or they feel proud and celebrate when they hit menopause maybe at 45. So does that mean I should do what they do for whatever reason, like gender dysphoria, they don't wanna get pregnant, it hurts too much or sensory issues? They do it for all the reasons, even when I don't get them. Maybe I'll get them later when I'm older. Should I Take birth control, have an IUD, maybe arm implant, or a hysterectomy, or maybe get early menopause. They all do it, and I feel like I'm missing out. All adults I see do that, and woman said, "I'm glad I got menopause. It's not as bad as people say it is! I absolutely hated the cramps and sensory issues, so this was amazing." Are my periods bad? A lot of them make it seem like this scary, looming danger that will and WILL hurt me.

ok. so like. how do I tell them. we're on good terms already, I don't want to ruin it. we joke about it all the time, making fun of it. I feel embarrassed every time we make fun of it, knowing damn well I'm in that position. God I hate this.

if you see this no you don't btw, you know who you are

sometimes it feels like nothing around me is real

like a few days ago I was at a marching band competition and we were walking back to the busses after performing and suddenly it felt like I was walking in a dream, thing felt distant even if I was right there

it's happened before but it never lasts long

any advice or uh like answers?

So yeah, you know everyone is "ugly" at 13? Well, I feel that way. I'm a girl, 13, and I feel ugly with a capital "UG". Wanna know why? Well, I have a very weird slim face with puffiness on the cheeks, I have some pimples on my hairline, near my nose and back, eczema scarring that doesn't go away unless I apply lots of moisturizers but you'll still know I'm itchy, hair with dryness in the scalp from eczema and I need medicinal shampoos, a nose which looks too round from the side at the bridge, lips that are just very awkward and not thick or thin, have whiteheads under my mouth, thin-haired eyebrows, eyes which are too big and brown which makes it look boring, a forehead that's two eyes big, black curly hair which needs oil, I'm very short at 5'4", and my weight so far is 44kg, and right now because my teeth are ugly and crowded, I wanted cute braces but instead I got the self-ligating ones which makes me look too nerdy, gross and very ugly. And I now have issues like eczema, acne, cat allergies, and I may get asthma since they all are in the atopic triad, so that makes me both unhealthy and very flawed. And my braces don't have any ligatures and my teeth are very crowded, so I look nerdy instead of cute like on Pinterest. And I'm built like a thin mom, yet I'm 44kg, maybe I need to lose weight. And 5'4" is short for a woman, since USA ladies are 5'7". I'm not even from USA, yet I look so ugly. And maybe, just maybe, I can do surgery to at least change my nose, and take veneers to fix my teeth.

bru I want him so muchhhhhh

like actually so much

we were almost a thing and see

him:

I wanna date her so bad

I think of her when I try to study, her face floods my mind

I tried to forget but I cant seem to just erase her

but i think its all for the best

i still have feelings

me: i cant forget him either;

i tried to just erase him and i almost did Imissed him a lot but I still wanted him everutime I would run into him

but when I heard he still had feelings it made me need him more

this is so fucked and he thinks im over him- IM NOT

im so fucking I need him so much

but he was the one who ended us before it even started so i cant even do anything

im scared and i dont know if he can date right now and its making me so fucking done w life

i dont need a man, i need THE MAN- HIM.

its not just for his looks or his fucking traits but I just fell for HIM

and I dont know if I can ever not regret or move on from this, there hasnt been anyone this right for me

but im too much of a coward to do anything

i guess Ill slowly forget, always with the regret of never doing anything

but to be frank its all on him

he shouldnt have ended things if he "liked me too much: and was afraid he wouldnt be "good enough" for me- BS

like ughghghgggg I hate him so much but I cant hate him

everyone here comments the same. ive read multiple post with the same comment styles beneath them

my sister (nickname Lily) grew up perfectly- perfect hair, perfect friends, perfect grades. I'm the youngest and my life is anything but perfect. My friends are dodgy, I'm awkward and literally no one at school likes me properly. She just got in to one of the most prestigious universities and i feel like if i don't do something like that i'll just be a dissapointment.

Me and my friend (nickname Poppy) were very close friends but she started saying mean things. we were in the same dance class together and I approached her. I tried talking until she told me to shut up. so i did. i left the dance class and she didn't even notice. when my mum picked me up, i told her everything. she said how i should ignore her, but i'm not very good at that. especially since we were eachothers bffs and only sat with eachother so i felt bad. Eventually I had to go to her birthday party. that was the final straw. I walked in and her friend showed mugs of me that she was sent by "Poppy". I secretley texted my dad to come and pick me up. My girlfriend was also coming and Poppy wanted us to play spin the bottle. She said whoever it was we had to kiss them. I didn't feel comfortable kissing someone who wasn't my girlfriend, especially seeing as she wasn't there because she couldn't make it but her cousin was there.

I’m 31 and I’ve been married for 5 years, and lately I keep hearing from my mom that my husband is a narcissist. I don’t know what to think anymore because sometimes he does things that feel so selfish and cold, but then other times he acts normal and I get confused if maybe I’m just overthinking. For example, he never asks how my day was unless I bring it up first, and even then he just nods or changes the subject back to him. When I got a promotion at work last year, instead of congratulating me he said, “Well, don’t get cocky, it’s not a big deal.” That really stung because I had worked so hard for it. Another time, we were at dinner with friends and I was telling a story, and he cut me off to correct a small detail in front of everyone. It embarrassed me and made me feel like a child. My mom insists this is all classic narcissist behavior, that he always needs to be the center of attention and can’t let me have my moments, but I don’t know if it’s that deep or just him being insensitive. He also gets very defensive if I bring up anything about his attitude, like I’m attacking him, and then somehow it turns into me apologizing even when I was just trying to talk. When we had a fight about money, he said I was “lucky” he even pays most of the bills, even though I contribute a lot too. Sometimes he even makes me feel guilty for needing help around the house, like laundry or dishes, as if asking for equal effort makes me needy. These things pile up and make me wonder if this is who he really is, or if I’m just listening too much to my mom’s voice in my head.

But then again, he isn’t always cruel. He buys me flowers once in a while, he takes me out for dinner on my birthday, and when his family visits he’s polite and attentive, so I keep asking myself if maybe I’m just being too critical. I think what really confuses me is how he can seem so charming to other people, but with me it’s like I get the short end of the stick; is that how narcissists usually are? He’ll brag about my career to his friends but in private tell me I’m not ambitious enough. He’ll post a nice picture of us online but then mock my outfit before we even leave the house. He says I’m too sensitive and need to toughen up, but it feels like he’s dismissing me instead of listening. Sometimes I question myself, like maybe I’m the one with unrealistic expectations. But then when I talk to my mom, she makes it sound black and white: he’s a narcissist, end of story. Still, I don’t want to throw around labels without being sure. I feel trapped between wanting to defend him and wanting to finally admit he might not be good for me. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? How do you really know if someone is a narcissist or if they’re just flawed in ways that hurt you sometimes? I keep going back and forth in my head, doubting everything, and I wonder if that in itself is part of the problem.

I’ve noticed that people these days, including myself, are glued to their phones. Most of the time, I use my phone unnecessarily—scrolling or watching things even when there’s nothing important to text about or nothing meaningful I want to learn. I understand that people have FOMO and don’t want to feel cut off from society, but for that, I don’t think it’s necessary to stay updated on every single trend on Instagram or social media in general. Knowing all the latest trends doesn’t really improve the quality of my life.

Yes, some people might make fun of me for not being aware of “obvious” trends, but I don’t see the need to follow them. At the same time, I don’t want to completely isolate myself either. For that reason, I’ve decided to limit myself to using Instagram for just 15 minutes a day, or using Pinterest occasionally for inspiration.

The internet feels overwhelming at times—it’s endless. There’s always new content to consume, and you can never really “finish” it. In contrast, I only truly felt alive during the days when phones existed without internet. Back then, the phone itself was an incredible gadget: it had a camera, photos, videos, offline games, songs, and maybe a few downloaded YouTube videos. Once I finished watching those videos, I had to rewatch the same ones, and eventually the phone felt boring. I would play the same simple offline games until I got tired of them.

Even the old Nokia phones were better in some ways. They were extremely simple—sometimes boring—but memorable. I remember playing Snake on them. At the time it felt boring, but when I look back now, those days feel good. When I was outside waiting for someone, I didn’t feel the urge to look at my phone because it didn’t have much to offer. Instead, I started noticing my environment, and those moments stayed in my memory.

On the other hand, if you showed me a reel I watched just a month ago, I probably wouldn’t even recognize it. It would feel like something completely new. That’s the difference: the older experiences stuck, while today’s constant scrolling doesn’t.

What I really want is to go back to that earlier feeling—the simplicity, the boredom, the presence—that made life feel more real.

Have you ever wonder what is like to be supported by parents? How they rather be concern about how you feel and not complain or disappointed by the results of the expectations? How they show comfort and understanding for the negativ expectation, and not talking discipline while disappointed over your hard work? Would you rather end the pain or suffer to meet their expectations?

How painful that is. Living in an asian household where parents itself been raised with strict discipline, and we were next victim to it. 20 years of my life, because of this prinsipp of parenting style, it's the reason why i am emotional unstable. No matter how much i really dont want to cry, criticsme i get from other, yelling about my wrongness and anxiety i get, it's the reason why i became.

I am a shy, introverted, social anxious and "keep everything to myself" kinda person. When i learn that i have failed my exam by the second time, i knew what will happend. I knew that they will be disappointed. I knew they will give me the criticsme. I knew they won't give me comfort. And yet.... i was hoping for it for some reason, that they will understand. That they will hug me, help me, comfort me. I hold the result to myself and try to mentally prepare for it. I overthink a lot when i'm anxious and in pain. It's like it slowly turn spiral and give me emotional pain constantly.

I really don't want to think about it, but i can't. When the time to tell my parents, i was in so much emotional pain. Constant scenario played in my head and anxiety grows more and more.

........... I told them ........... What was i hoping again? ............. They are asian, why would i think there would be hope?

I shouldn't expect anything from them. They were disappointed. They were critisme me. They discipline me. "Don't do this, don't do that. Do that and do this. Do better, think better, plan better". Constantly sighing. There were no feeling of comfort. Nor concern. Nor care. There were so much disappointed in their tone, their eyes, their behaviour. It was so painful. Did they ask how i felt? Did they say "It's ok"? Did they comfort by telling me how hard work i tried? Did they gave me hugs? Did they show understanding?...............................

Seriously what did i hope for again?!

Been emotional unstable means for me that i would get emotional, cry when they yell, discipline and misunderstand me angry. "Stay strong" they said. "Criticsme is nothing to cry for" they said. "Crying help nothing" they said. When something like failing exam is a huge disappointment for me and all my hard work for nothing, is painful to think. Why would i not cry? When its hurtful for my sister, why did she get comfort and not me? When she failed the first time, why is it ok for her and not me? Why wouldn't you discipline her?

I couldn't help feeling even more pain.

I really want to complain about their behaviours, but what can i do? Growing up, whenever i speak calm or screaming it's not me, or trying to clear the misunderstanding they have of me, or talking bout how i feel and try to have a conversation, they always turn it into me lying and me not understanding. "Fight back" they said. "Don't let them talk down on you" they said. "Talk back if they wrong you" they said. But when i do, why do they yell and call me lying? When i'm trying to clear their misunderstanding and everything, why are they yelling at me and pointing at me like i'm still in the wrong no matter what?

I learn that no matter what i say, they just turn it against me, pointed wrong in me, using their emotion and "we want the best for you" against me. I never win. What is he point of fighting my right when they just stubbornly point wrong in me?

They always wonder why i never tell them things. I wonder ........ what is the point? No wonder i'm shutting them out.

They mostly don't care about emotion, but results of the expectations.

For now, there is nothing in my heart except for pain. I know later the pain will grow more and more.

...............................................................

What i would say if i could?

"Why would you not comfort me? You know i work so hard and how the exam was so hard, why wouldn't try to comfort me? Why must you always discipline me? I knew you would discipline me, this is why i really don't want to tell you anything! You kept saying how you want the best for me or how you know me! NEWS FLASH! You don't know how i am! How my body is or how my mind is! You don't even know i have social anxiety or stress or other anxiety! You don't know my mental state! I want to know my mental state! Do i have adhd? Depression? Mental unstable? Anxiety? Hypersomnia? I litterly have to diagnose myself for this. You complain constantly i slept too much, i am slow, i cant do shit, how dumb i am. Have you ever consider my mental state is different than you? I sleep long cause my mental state need 10 hours sleep to keep my brain going. I do slow cuz my brain can't get all information all at once while i overthink spiral. I can't do right cuz you only see my wrong. I am not dumb, i am just average and my brain can't handle too much stuff to remember. And yet you never consider to understand me nor to ask about it!

Why won't you comfort me? Why won't you tell me everything is ok? you work hard? you did your best? you tried? Why must you give me pain...?"

Hey, it's me. I have a question for you all. Well, a few ones, because I soon realized I'm a very deep empath and I love flagellating myself when I feel bad for someone (not literally), and today my YouTube's been popping up with people who experience autism. Folks like @Kaelynnism on YT really helped, and while you folks probably watch her too sometimes (or don't, I don't know, I'm stupid), it really helped me see from their POV. And I feel like garbage. I'm not diagnosed with anything, besides eczema but that's not really a mental illness, is it? But I can't help but feel terrible knowing the different experiences of you guys and how sometimes very sensitive you are to things. I feel like even if I BREATHE wrong you'll get mad, and it's my fault. That's why I got some questions.

For one thing, how bad are your triggers to sound, touch, taste, smell and atmosphere? Because I know a lot of you all mask up and pretend everything's fine, when really I should be doing that because it's sad when you do it. Another one, how bad can meltdowns get, so whenever I encounter someone who is, I should run away or comfort them by shutting up? Should I always agree to your rules or habits, even if I feel bad about some of them because to you they're right and I may hurt your feelings for asking you to not do it? Should I always nod and say yes to you even when I have no idea of your niche interests, and should I never tell you mine because they're not niche enough like yours? Should I always stay quiet when I'm with you? and when you're being too blunt I should take it in, even if it hurts? When you feel pain, should I forget mine? When you tell me or do something hurtful, should I excuse you because you're mentally ill? I'm not asking this with malice, I'm asking because I feel like a prick for even having a neurotypical brain and breathing.