Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 13

I am a 13 years old girl, i basically have some problems related to porn. I do not regularly access porn websites but sometimes i watch sex scenes in movies, commercials or series and masturbate watching it, and the problem is sometimes I ignore if the scene has a problematic context if I think is ignorable or i think its too late. I already passed through that dillema before but i feel this time is different, cause i have stopped watching stuff to masturbate, but 2 days ago i did again after months. I separated the times these things happened in categories that are what was the problem, If i was aware of it and why i did about it. 1st time: a commercial, the problem was it was sexist, i was aware but just didnt think about it. 2nd time: it was an ecchi anime, the problem was there was a problematic episode in it (not that one, that one was quite normal in my opinion) i was aware again and wasnt considering it at the moment again. 3rd time: a sex scene in a movie, the problem was the woman was cheating, o was aware but i just ignored it. 4th time: a porn anime, we know what kind of problems are in those, but i thought it was just me being to overthinker, so i ignored it. 5th time finally, the most recent, a sex scene in a movie, the problem was a selfish man who stopped caring once he came, i thought about it but i wasnt really insterested in him so i just pretended nothing was happening and focused on the woman. I dont think any of these situations changed the way i think, i still know its wrong, i just thought it was irrelevant enough to ignore. Thoughts?

I did post a story on this before, but it’s not showing up (gulp), so i’m doing it again. I’m not sure if this is the place where i’m supposed to post about this stuff but i have this issue. I like this tv show. A LOT. It’s been months (probably an understatement), where i can only really think about it. My mind turns everything into a reference, i’m always quoting it and i’m just constantly thinking about it. I’ve even caught myself embarrassing myself in class because the teacher called on me to answer a question which i didn’t know the answer to because i was thinking about that show.

Is this a normal thing or am i going crazy? My friends joke and say it’s like a hyper fixation, but i thought only neurodivergent people get those and im not diagnosed with anything. (At least i think it’s just neurodivergent people, im not sure. I haven’t really done much research so sorry if i sound stupid). I just need to know if other people have been through this and i’m not a weirdo for constantly thinking about it.

It’s really weird but for months now the only thing i’ve really been able to think about are just worries and this one show. I don’t know if this is the place to share this kind of stuff but i need to just say this. It feels like one of the only things i seem to talk about- everything is a reference. I keep catching myself in class not focusing because i’m thinking about the show and doodling the characters in my school books to help me understand the stuff. It’s mildly embarrassing now that i admit it, but it’s the truth. And it even MORE awkward since nobody i know irl likes it as much as i do.

I’m not sure why i can’t stop thinking about it. One of my friends suspects it’s like a hyper fixation, but i don’t think im neurodivergent. I don’t even know if hyper fixations are only for neurodivergent people (i haven’t done much research on it, sorry if i sound ignorant) but oh my goodness the show is EVERYWHERE. Is this just some sort of normal thing that happens? I mean, it’s not entirely bad, but i fear i’m annoying people around me with how much i like the show and i worry for my grades.

Im 15 and ever since I got into middle school, I thought by the end of it Ill have a bestfriend but no. I feel like every friend I make - by next year/grade we split up and no longer in contact. Right now I have friends, but I know so well once we arent in the same class, they'd forget my existence or if their other friends were in the same class they wouldnt be with me. I always feel like Im the one chasing everyone - chasing my friend or friends, just to not seem like Im excluding myself. Yet I still feel left out cause no one cares whether Im around or not. I reached a point where I feel like people my age no longer want meaningful, forever lasting friendships. I dont know if Its only in my class or school but I was supposed to change schools and I saw it as an opportunity that'll be able to meet new people and possibly find great friends or at least one, however things didnt work out and Im now stuck till the end of the semester. I just dont understand why am I always the last pick ? Im trying to be patient and hopeful but Im scared overtime Its gonna hurt me so much especially of how long the semester is going to be.

There was a moment, not too long ago. Its still stuck to me - during class, I was chatting with my friend and classmate. We were then told to pick partners and play with each other. My classmate and friend stood and walked away while I just sat there .. they didnt even look back at me or asked me to join them. I know it sounds like Im excluding myself but I swear Im trying to include myself by every chance I get but It just gets tiring. I might as well accept it. I didnt want to just sit there so I partnered up with my other friend (her friends didnt want to play). Anyways, after class I wanted to jokingly tell my (first) friend about it but I just thought it was unnecessary, maybe I was overthinking it and it wasnt that serious.

I dont know who to talk to anymore. My mom never tries to understated me, she just shames me and calls me names. When I do talk to her, she just sees me as a pity and calls me emotional - sensitive everytime I cry. I feel like I can no longer cry anymore, like rarely. I just cant, especially infront of my mom.

I hate feeling this negative but those are just some of my thoughts. I just want someone loving, caring and understanding in my life. I dont want to rely on myself my entire life. It gets lonely.

He annoys me so badly, the very first day during orientation I went in late and the only spot open was beside him. He greeted me in an overly friendly way and it really weirded me out because I’ve always been under the impression that he didn’t like me. We were best friends in elementary school, but was so awful. He bullied me and would get our friends to target me to too, he said a lot of bad things about me, and he exposed me and other people to a lot of really bad things as kids which also makes being around him very uncomfortable. Then in high school we never spoke and we weren’t friends, and I remember that he talked about me behind my back. My best friend once told me that while speaking to her and a large group of people that he made fun of me for being autistic and for rocking back and forth and said he’d rather be friends with this one other weird girl who actually did bad things.

After that he kept going out of his way to talk to me and my friend and it was really weird. I decided to just ask him about it and I said “I feel like we’re not on good terms because you were saying bad things about me” then he told me that he hasn’t spoken about me in years and I told him that it was a bit ago, and that I just still feel weird about it. I told him what it was I heard and he asked me who he said it to, I told him a group and he asked who told me, but I told him I didn’t wanna say, it was cause he’s still friends with my friend though. He then apologized and told me that he didn’t remember saying that, but he’s sorry if he did, and that he doesn’t know if he was just having a bad day or what. He did keep apologizing, so it did seem like he meant it. After that he spoke to me a few more times, each was awful. In class we watched the frog in a pot video and the teacher asked us what it meant, first she asked him and he said something about being too stupid to know. Then she called on me and when I answered he just talked out in class about how smart I am, which I just found really weird and kind of embarrassing. Also once when my class was on break, a group of people went outside to smoke. I went to the side near the windows while the rest of my class was out the middle, then he came over to me and asked if I’m allergic people and points out how I’m standing by myself. He also points out how earlier that morning a teacher had offered me help and told me I look confused when I was just waiting outside a classroom. I say yeah, it was weird, then he says “she doesn’t know that’s just your face”.

There’s been other things too, but basically it’s just been stressful. At first I was trying to tolerate him in school so it wouldn’t be weird, but he’s a really hard person to be around, even though it’s brief

I am currently under a lot of stress due to having te move, so I didn't celebrate my birthday. After forgetting valentines day, my bf promised me this saturday would be my day and I may choose something I wanted to do together. We haven't been on dates in so long and I loved that idea!

Now, I have come up with so many things to do and he is so negative about all my ideas. (Zoo, arcadehall etc) I actually don't even want to go anymore, he does this a lot. Everytime I want to do something it never happens or I have to beg for it for months, and even if we do stuff he is withdrawing himself.

I really looked forward to having a date with him again, and I am tired of having to plan something, just for him to act this way.

If we do something he enjoys I always (even if I don't fully like it) try to enjoy it and never be negative. But my feelings also matter and I am tired of my feelings being ignored. I have talked about his behaviour in the past, and he does agree that his behaviour is bad and told me he wants to work on it himself and that he doesn't need help.

Especially in the situation I am in rn. There is a housing crisis and it takes a lot of money and stress to move. We haven't gone out for months and I haven't had a nice fun thing in months. Everyday feels like surviving at this moment in this situation and I really looked forward to our date :/

I know I feel I should not feel like this but every time someone gives me like the tone of voice at work like oh you should not tell me that or why are you talking to me like that? It makes me feel like I’m the bad guy. I’m just trying to help out or I’m just doing What my coworker says. At times I wanna yell at them, but I can’t because I will get in trouble and it’s unfair. They do to me this all the time and yet when they do it, I have to listen to them cause I have to let it go. I hope one day someone will understand why I do these things and let me finish my sentences or at least explain myself because I am not the bad guy no one is. I feel like this at times. I hope they will understand what I have been going through as well.

I need help easing this anxiety real quick; im 17. I lost my virginity recently, we used protection and the guy didn’t eject. A condom or two broke, but we immediately put a new one on. However; my period is delayed two weeks. I’ve had a regular cycle for years. I can’t talk to my parents about this, especially my mom. They’re extremely strict with dating. I can’t tell my boyfriend about this, because im unsure.

There’s not a chance, right? 😭

I’ve been stressed for a long time now, so I know that can affect that, but it hasn’t before.

I had a huge blackout that lasted almost an hour last month, and now I'm in the hospital, rotting on a bed. Professionals found out that I had an untreated anemia that had lasted for way too long and now it's actively ruining my organs because my body can't stock iron, causing me to be really tired all the time, my skin is really pale, I have difficulty to breath, sleep, eat and walk. My legs are shaking a lot when I'm on my feet and I'm always cold. To top it all, my periods are extremely painful and causes me to lose a lot of blood. Unfortunately, my body reacts really negatively to the various treatments, and now the nurses and doctors are stuck. They stay optimistic with me and my parents, but the look on their face each time they make tests with me, I'm starting to feel that my fate is sealed. I try to change my mind by reading and listening to music, even watching Youtube when I can but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I'm actively dying. I'm really scared, because I don't want to die without even reaching adulthood. I have all of my friends here, my dog, and my little brother. Everyone except my parents and my brother are already acting like I'm gone, even my friends, which doesn't help. The doctors try everything, but nothing seems to work out fine, or atleast it's not enough. I'm starting to lose hope. My mom cries a lot, because she thinks it's her fault, and my dad can't look me in the eye. My little brother is the only positive one, and I don't want to fail him by leaving him behind. Sorry, I sound like a whiny loser because anemia is not cancer or something serious like that, but it truly feels like I'm dying on this bed. I just needed to vent, because I don't want to worry my parents even more, and my little brother is too young to understand.

So, what would people have thought if they had seen this on a reality TV show? (I hope I did this right, I never used a site like this one before.)

My goddamn family keeps on pressuring me to do all the bs they want me to do, instead of trying to let me have a choice. as if im their clone, ffs. i told my dad i didnt want to play basketball anymroe since my og basketball coach stopped teaching, and the first thing he did was say "Because you're lazy". He showed me a chinese coach who could teach me basketball, but they cant speak english. I saw a video on it, and I was confused. Confused as hell, I didnt know a single thing that was going on. I could speak chinese, sure, but I knew no basketball jargon in chinese. and my dad looked at me as if he taught me basketball in chinese. And he said "You do know how to understand. You're just too lazy to accept that. Am I right?" I couldnt even say no to that answer. I still wanted to play basketball. All he said was "Dont bother playing anymore, dont bother trying to ask if you can continue playing."

I just turned 13 and my family and I thought it would be good to host a birthday party for me they invited all my family to come over even friends I went to my room but then my uncle came in. I told him to leave multiple times because I was changing BUT HE WOULDNT WANT TO LEAVE I HATE HOW NO ONE NOTICED HE WAS IN THERE EVEN THOUGH I RAISED MY VOICE he trapped me in my room and he...🍇 me I hate it so much I hate how I let this happen to me I feel fucking disgusting I feel weak I feel horrible after that happen I didn't want to get out of my room I just wanted to hide under the bed like a scary bitch I am...after the birthday party i kept quiet for a couple days i told my dad BUT FCKING GUESS WHAT he didnt listen he just told me i need to be a man AND THAT I WAS LUCKY IT HAPPEND HOW COULD U SAY THAT TO UR SON WHAT THE FUCK I HATE EVERYONE I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE HIM I WANT TO KILL MYSELF NO ONE LISTENS ME

a dude cold opened me a few days ago and asked me out i panicked and gave him my info/said yes (i know! not good for either of us!) and yesterday we went on a date. he was perfectly nice and im sure it "went well," but i truly wasn't feeling it at all. i don't know him, i found out he was 28 (im 19, we're both college students and he saw me on campus so it's not like a creeper thing), im just not that interested in dating... i turned down a second date last night over text and i have yet to look at his texts back. i dont feel bad about turning him down, but i just feel really embarrassed and guilty about the whole situation. it sucks!!!!!

Sometimes I wish I could cry. Sometimes I think that would make me feel better. Sometimes I feel like I numbed my emotions too much to the point where I don’t feel much. I grew up neglected and manipulated and isolated. When I was 11 my parents had gotten divorced and my mom took us away from my dad. She had left because she couldn’t take his shit anymore. I came back after a week because he promised a life of luxury and stuff I’ve always wanted. As a kid I went and stayed but all he did was work. Which as a kid I understood he had to do. But what I didn’t understand was how that messed me up later down the road. Grew up estranged from extended family and barely any friends. I shutdown for three years in middle school and no one knew what was happening at home . I just survived and went to school. High school I was barely coming out of my shell. As an adult I’m slowly getting better but there was a lot I didn’t learn. So much I missed out on. All these expectations from people I look up to. I’m a hyper self aware person. I struggle to retain helpful information. I have to hear something ten thousand times or experience something painful before I understand. I didn’t know until 10 years later that he was a manipulator, liar, cheater, and self centered.

so my mom just got my report card and shes grounded me (I'm writing this on my school computer) wanna know why she grounded me? because I have 3 C's. shes being so irrational and stupid about it, it makes me want to bash her head into a wall and hope that it changes her stupid ways of thinking. She hit me so bad I cant feel my face or my finger tips. I also cant feel half of my head because she pulled my hair too hard and i feel like my skull is throbbing. she wont even let me go to the bathroom because shes forcing me to work my ass off on those assignments I have low grades on. I want this to end. I want her to end. I want her to stop thinking the way she does. I just want my phone back. I want a break. She acts like if I have low grades in ONE class the world is ending. She acts if there's a fucking atomic bomb dropping right on our doorstep because the FBI found out I had 3 still PASSING grades in my classes. The universe is HUGE and my grades are either just pixelated letters on a screen or a few strokes of ink on a piece of paper. This is also my teachher's faults. I submitted an assignment a few minutes late and she decides to give it a zero, despite the work being correct. That specific teacher's zeros are worth SOOOO much and they can so easily bring my grade down from an A to a D. Im afraid shes gonna go through my phone and find my private stuff. My conversations with my friends, my photos, and anything else. Those are relatively fine but I have an ai app on my phone and THAT is what I'm most scared of her finding. I know my limbs would be severed off one by one if she finds it. I just want this to end. I wish teachers weren't so strict with their grading and that they give you second chances.

Eversince i started middle school my mom has been so harsh on me. i mean I get it, its to get ready for the future, but that doesn't mean calling me a biatch, saying to go fock yourself, I wish you were never born, I wish you weren't a burden, I wish you knew how to say sorry, I wish I knew, I wish I could actually, I wish to die. I just WISH I can actually learn to love, to accept, to learn to say sorry, to just restart. Im sorry mom, I wish I listened to you earlier, I don't want our relationship like this, I don't want my mom to not care for me anymore, I want to have the relationship were mom and daughter are bestfriends, I'm sorry for this, I wish... I just wish, i wish i was never born so i wouldn't be a burden, i just wish wish wish, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense