Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 96

ppl at school tell me to kms and that apparantly im a lesbian even tho im straight (if you dont belive me , you should see mh addiction with ryan Reynolds) and i have a therapy friend , but i'm scared of them (i dont know if its coz they're really cool , or that i look up to them so much -since im so short , quite literally - or if , idk) so i cant alk t anyone , not my family , not really my friends... soo its being bottled up in my head , now i'm a really fucked up person tbh , i'm so touch/care-deprived that i want to be r@ped and m*rdered.... yeah

i am ussaily a kind person. i take care of my family whether it be my adoptive parents and siblings or my biological family. i have always wondered though why doesnt anyone wanna take care of me? you know love me they way i love them. Now i am fine by myself most of the time but sometimes i need love too. i wanna be taken care of i wanna be asked how my day was or how am i today. but its like no one is really worried about me or what am i doing. so for me to be able to feel some kind of love i get into relationships. i was with this one boy who loved me endlessly but there were things in the relatioship i did not like. he didnt want me to be me. he didnt aprrove of my friendships or that i went to parties to drink or nothing. he just wanted me to stay home locked in my room because thats what he liked to do but i personly did not want to because of the fact that its hard for me to keep friends if i dont go out people wont nessacrily care about what i do and he knows that. and maybe he was just trying to protect me but i just couldnt do it there were so many things that differ from us. and so it fissed out after a while. and now i am single and i hear the rumors about me being spread that i cheated on him or that he cheated on me but idk imk confused but i was so desperate for love somewhere i didnt even care if he did cheat on me or not it didnt seem tht big of a deal to me. i just wanted someone to be with me through it all. now i am talking to this boy and i am asking him questions that i didnt ask my ex in the begingg because i am scared this new boy will be the same as my ex. i just want to be loved like truly loved by someone. and i dont know what to do because i do love myself but i am ready to be with someone who loves me to.

Ive been with him for 4 years we have a 2 year old , in the relationship its he who controls and decides, since im 5-6 years younger he said i dont know about life, when we fight its always me fault, if im hurt by his actions i get screamed at for stressing him with stupid stuff. If i buy something i have to run it by him but if i dont but something i new we needed i get screamed at as well, when we fight he make me sit in front of him while he insults be and has me crying for hours , im not allowed to leave that spot or i get kicked out of our apt , sometimes he will just go off and as soon as he is done he eats or sleep then apologizes but it had gotten better since i got a better paying job , and i just go let go 2 weeks before Christmas, the first day he was supportive but buy day 4-5 he been horrible saying i ruined Christmas, he has ignored me for the last week and Christmas Eve, he just gives me nasty looks , and today Christmas, he says i should be gone that i ruined his life , i know what everyone is gonna say , Leave but i have no where , i have no family no dad no mom , i have no friends, my last friends my boyfriend said they weren’t gonna amount to anything and i had to leave him and in my jobs he tell me there not friends that there coworkers and to not share anything about our relationship even tho he come home telling his coworkers tell him to leave me . He is very money oriented , me im not i just try to push hoping money will ease his hate towards me . Any intimacy stoped when my daughter was born cause he gained so much weight that his back give out and will be bed ridden for day , also this weight gained is my fault come if we have any type of snack or bad food he will eat it cause he has no self control and is something i should already know, so here i am Christmas Day crying alone with my 2 year old while he sleeps , i dont even want to eat or sleep cause with no money comming in from my side i feel no lt entitled to anything. Also he would let me get just any job he want it something in the field i studied and geting a job in that field is really hard took me 4 months to land a for the first time.

I'm a teenager and obviously due to hormones alot of teenagers around me were committed to someone but I wasn't.

But one day, I met a girl randomly in a group and we started dating but as time went on

During my first birthday with her, a another character enters! let's name him mike

Mike was my bestfriend but he was in her class, our relationship was private and he didn't knew about it so he started having a crush on her but I told my gf about it and she said she would avoid him but quite the opposite happens. Mike and she used to share hugs with each other and etc ( hugging in my country is a huge deal itself ) and as an obvious teen, I was jealous about it. I talked about it with my girl but she put the blame on me and I was manipulated to think that it was actually mine and i should let her have the freedom. Things went on and she started cheating on me with other guys, even after I told her not to. I broke up with her this April but she went to my friends and told them a fake story which won them over me, It's been 6 months since I have talked with anyone cuz I'm preparing for entrance exams ( SAT and three more ) I have no friends to talk with so i just wanted to say my story to someone atleast cuz nobody believed me in my own circle. Even my other bestfriend left me cuz his crush was my ex's bestfriend.

My mother and I we don't have the easiest relationship. I mean the things are great until they are great. We can't seem to agree on anything. Plus she thinks I am naive and will get mistreated everywhere. I think she thinks I am stupid. She judges me for almost anything and everything, like how I talk, who I talk to, what I talk about. She judges the way I conduct myself, why I speak so much when I literally met my friend after 2 years. I don't know how to deal with this. I think I also I have severe mommy issues. I have a voice inside my head, mostly her voice that tells me that I am wrong, that i every step I take is wrong. So yeah that's my story. I want to change this narrative and I want to become a person of my own free of from all prejudices that my mother has set for me. I want to be free. What would you guys do if you would in a situation like this?

My wife constantly lets her depression rule over her more often than not. And I know that she has zero control over any of that, but that's not what bothers me. What does is when she spirals, suddenly everything I've done for her, all the good and happy memories we've shared, the adventures we've gone on, doesn't mean anything and she'll say things such as "My whole year has been wasted and fucking pointless" and it just makes me feel so fucking small... Like no matter what I do, it's not enough to make her see the light in the dark even when the dark isn't that dark....

Every single time i go shopping online , i end up buying nothing. Something like paralysis on analysis. When i take help from a family member, he end up buying even more disappointing deal cause he dont have patience . Family members who have patience don't know how to shop online. I am student with hectic study schedule, exams,deadlines . I barely get time to sleep. And being from middle class i dont have luxury to buy what ever i want without looking at price. I have to go through a lot of options for best price before actually buying . Its frustrating.

We dated for so long and i loved him so much and he loved me and we were absolutely perfect together he told me he’ll love me forever then decides to break up with me and it hurts so much watching him move on and love someone else and forget about me like what about me what about what we had was i not special to you how could you do this to me i just want you

I'll try to express my feelings as clear as possible (my mind usually goes blank when I go and try to type stuff), and I'm sorry if I might come of as rude or inconsiderate, it really isn't my intention. Trigger warning of dark thoughts mentioned, if that's appropiate.

I'm particularly a young person, at the end of my teenage years, and I feel that life hasn't been going so well. I do well academically, even have that fame of people expecting good stuff about me, yet it has been a long time I have felt any proud for this. Thing is that I am lonely, and have been this way pretty much since the start of my social life. I am not in the position of being bullied, which I am grateful to be. Actually, people are usually nice to me, but that's the limit. Nobody has been interested in becoming friends with me. I was fine with it before, but it has been hurting more and more as time passes. I have tried many times to make social interactions, which is a huge step for me—it takes a lot of courage for me to go out and expose myself, because I tend to be socially anxious. These just end up as simple, friendly conversations, and sometimes even embarrassing. After I try to keep contact with them, they just seem like they aren't that interested in forming a friendship. I know it IS a process, but it is hard to keep it up if you sense the other person not wanting to get into it.

Life in my school has been very simple, I just try to be a good student and be cool with everyone. However, people only get to acknowledge me when they need something, and sometimes I feel like I'm the last choice for that. Hell, I sometimes even feel like a robot following commands. If I am honest, all my school life just feels like a cycle. I wake up, prepare and go to school, receive classes (that's just it), and head back home to sleep and start a new loop. This cycle has gotten me tired lately, and it is hard to try to break it, since I can't make it any more interesting. Unlike other schools, mine doesn't have any clubs, and I can't really talk to any of my classmates, because they have grown up with this picture of me being quiet and unapproachable, and it hurts to be seen that way.

My life at home isn't that good also. I try to finish my homework rapidly, and then try to see what to do with my free time. Most of my free time has been spent learning about math and coding, which I love, so they have been my main time wasters. There's not much I do after that. I have online friends, but I feel severely disconnected from them. About my family, I love them, but I don't think I can talk to them about this, and I have reasons for that. My father is my closest familiar, but he doesn't like me expressing vulnerability, and let's not even mention my mother. She says she loves me, but I have felt that she just gives me what I need to live, and doesn't teach me about how to do stuff myself, like cooking or washing properly. She is a real angry person when (easily) provoked, and uses everything given to her against others, honestly I have felt like a burden to her.

Sometimes the whole idea of feeling lonely brings me to dark places. I start to question if people would miss me if I was gone. I have no intentions to do anything against myself, but I sometimes do wonder. I feel like a ghost in this world. No matter how hard I try to form bonds, these break apart. There aren't many options for me, either. My parents restrict me doing a lot of stuff that is usually advised in these cases. Sometimes it feels that I have no one in this world, that I am unlovable. I have to keep all my hardships within myself because I don't have anyone. And about the idea that forming connections as an adult is harder, brings less hope for me. It is all just so confusing, and so hurtful. You feel that you cannot connect with anyone, and don't know why. I sometimes wonder if I wasn't supposed to be in this world, that I don't fit here. It feels that you are the odd one out, in an ocean of perfectly aligned pieces of a whole jigsaw puzzle. I just stand here and wish I was "normal."

I sincerely don't know, I feel like it would be nice to have someone who can do stuff and talk with me from time to time, and not by obligation. I just hope someday I get to meet someone, and for it to actually work, for a first time in years. Hopefully my life in college will be better if I place effort on it. It would be nice to hear if someone here can relate to these feelings, and if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears. Even though I am an introvert, being alone all of my time sometimes gets to me. Any advice to my situation is welcomed. I hope you have a nice Christmas Eve, I'll try to have one.

I have been struggling with negative thoughts for a couple of years now due to school trauma and bullying. In 12th grade, I had to stop attending school because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, it has been difficult for me to keep up with people. My mom doesn’t know how to help me. I was forced to transfer schools and pay for the whole semester, even though I only sometimes attended school for one or two days. My mom thinks I'm not trying, but I badly want to graduate, and it hurts when they call me lazy and say I don’t have the will to get better.

I used to be an honor student, but because of the harmful effects of what others did to me, I no longer recognize myself. I have engaged in self-harm in various ways and had to live alone. My mom thought that by sending me to a city alone, I would feel better, but it only made things worse.

I met my boyfriend, who helped me cope and inspired me to try again. I enrolled in pharmacy for two months and fell in love with it. My classmates were very kind to me, but I realized my struggle was mostly internal. I couldn’t control the thoughts of others or stop wondering if they hated my existence. I would suddenly leave the laboratory and cry at home, feeling weak. Now, I’m forced to study accounting online, which I also struggle with because I was a STEM student and find business courses difficult.

Nevertheless, I want to study pharmacy again if only I were given another chance. That field makes me feel truly fulfilled, and I believe I can thrive in it if given the opportunity.

Regarding therapy, I recently received my psychological evaluation results, and they disappointed me a little. The results were very clear, and I paid a lot for them. Now, I was told I can book a session only once or twice a month. From this schedule, I’m unsure if I can truly get better. Is this how it works?

As of now, I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity. I feel not good enough, and I'm dying everyday as I’m turning 20 soon.

I'm 20 ( F ) and for the last 19 months I have been applying to different universities abroad. Everything was planned and set but due to some banking issues I couldn't go. I had to send my withdrawal letter tonight and I can't stop crying and feeling worthless because my sister graduated from a top 5 uni whereas I don't even know where I am. Worst thing is that before getting into the uni that I am currently in, my dad was like I don't even count this as a university, my professors here are also like there is no hope for this study field in this country , everyone keeps saying that there is no opportunity for me here ( my major is Microbiology ). But I don't know what to do, what can I do, I gave my all these last 19 months and everything just fell down. I feel so demotivated and I hate myself. My family members doesn't even want to talk about this anymore because they are " tired, bored and overwhelmed " of this topic. Sometimes I feel like I should be grateful that at least I am getting the opportunity to study but then I look at my school peers and feel so so jealous. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm a teenager. When It was quarantine, I've slowly gotten depression, anxiety, and all that stuff. One day, my mother didn't come home that night with my father since they both work 8 to 5. I was worried and asked where she was. My dad said she was staying somewhere else for the night, but my worries didn't die down. I later texted my mother asking where she was and she said that she was in the sidewalk and that she was going to sleep there. I was shocked and continued to text her until 12 AM. She told me to go to sleep, so I deleted out convo with her and cried to sleep. Later on that following week, I found out she was staying over her friend's house and slept over there, because she and my father got into an argument. Fast forward a couple weeks, our pitbull named Luna got out of her cage and got loose all over the outside of our house. We had gates so she couldn't leave easily. As my parents got home from work, we found out that she chewed on my mother's slippers that were outside. My father was irritated and when I was in my room, possibly playing my games or watching tiktok, I hear the throws of slippers my dad threw to Luna. Abusing her, I heard her pained howls but i turned a blind eye. I didnt wanna end up like her. That night, I also cried to sleep. One day, my mom was suspecting she had cancer. So she went on a checkup with my father. After a couple days, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was laying in my bed when my father came up to my bed and told me 'youre always on your phone. Decrease your screen time and at least care for your mother. Your mother had cancer now and she needs all the love and care." I interpreted this on how I understood what he said. When I heard that, I was horrible. I was helpless. I wanted to help my mother but didn't know how. Right when my father left the room, I burst into tears. Slowly breaking down. (My mom is fine and healthy now. She got her chemotherapy treatment done already, and does regular check ups.). In quarantine, I'm sure it was normal that some people like me got fat and all that. I was insecure of my fat body back then, and wanted to get skinny. But then one day, my father told me something before me and my mom we're about to go out. "You look pregnant" he says with a grin. If that were a joke, why didn't I laugh? After that day, I started to starve myself and started only eating 1 meal a day. It was a couple months, after my mom found out since I was throwing up due to not eating properly. I'm well off now, at least better than before. Back to quarantine, I had this trio I was part of since elementary. But when it was quarantine, things started to change. One day we started to fight all afternoon, and let's call one of them Anna, and the other Rachel. Rachel avoided the arguments, usually the peace maker or just agreeing to some statements one did to another. Anna and I were the ones fighting. She was always with her other friends, and I was thinking that she was replacing me and rachel with her new trio. Every argument was over text because it was quarantine of course, but I mostly ended with sobbing to my plushies on my bed in the afternoon. Time passes, it's 2022. We went back to school with just me and rachel as friends. We broke ties with Anna after finding out the toxic friendship. In the first year of my freshman year of highschool, I was doing well. Enjoying being with the new classmates. I loved how joyful they were. Until one day, in second quarter. Our car's battery broke and my father was irritated and frustrated with all the money he had to spend. (We're well off also.) He was angry as well that we didn't seem to care and only cared about our own efficiency on the car. We didn't. My mother, the wife she is. She tries to help. Offering to contact the car brand company so they'll fix it. My father then broke out and said "if you thought of it, you pay for it! It's easy." I can hear the anger even if it was in text. I was in school while that happened. I was reading the texts in out family gc, holding back my tears. Afraid anyone will see. After my father sent a few more messages, my mother then broke as well. "Fix yourself, (father's name.)! We aren't the cause that car broke down, so don't blame us!' I can feel her frustration through the phone. After my father sent a few more text messages, my mother left. I thought they were going to go through a divorce. After two hours or so, my mom was added back by my big sister. My parents then deleted their messages, and my father texted me, "sorry about earlier, okay?" I ignored his message. After all this, I now have eczema, because of genes and possibly stress. I am now acidic, I cannot eat too much food that contains acids. Such as apples. I have mental problems, and I can barely understand myself. (I have not seeked a therapist for all this, as I have been hiding this from everyone. I am a minor and most probably need an adult to consult to a therapist.)

Me and my best friend have always been really close, and recently, we both realised we had feelings for each other. It was a really good feeling and we were both really happy, but ever since then I feel like they’ve been avoiding me to talk to other friends instead. I understand this is a big thing and it’s gonna take time to get used to this new dynamic and all, but it feels like they’ve been avoiding me, or at least trying to talk to other people instead of me for the past week or so and it just hurts because I want to talk and be with them but I can’t just make them talk to me, or tell me what’s going on.

OK. So... Apparently I am going to my old neighbors New Years Eve party. We moved into a new house a year ago but our dad's are still friends so we have to hang out sometimes and we go to the same school. We've gone skiing together a couple times but I always get shy and weird around him. We haven't talked or really seen each other in months except for awkward, accidental eye contact every now and then at school. He's a grade above me so thankfully we don't see each other much but... I guess we're going to on New Year's. Not only that, my other past neighbors, one in particular that I was good friends with, are also going to be there. Well, I don't know for sure but there's a 99% chance so... The problem is that she also goes to my school, a grade above me, and I don't really know what happened but we both got awkward and stop talking and even saying hi to each other so we kind of pretend we just don't notice each other. I'm starting to wonder if she even remembers me or my name... But I really do miss her, I just feel like we've been ignoring each other for so long that it'll be weird if I say hi now. So there's another reason I'm debating faking sick to get out of this party. Now back to the other kid, let's call him, uhhh O. Sure, so O is... Well I don't even know why I find him mildly attractive.. *cough cough* BUT UHHH. It's okkk hehe.. So that probably adds to the "nervous around him" thing for sure. But, my fingers are tired so I'm just saying, I swear to God I'm going to embarrass myself and I know this is kind of the wrong website for this but IDC. Ok? IM DESPERATE. I needed somewhere to put my- feelings, and google gave me a warning. So to sum it up, I'm literally going to cry because we'll, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDHDNNSMSJDBHDNSNSNNSNSNSN!!! Ok well, save me. I'm dieing. OMG. 😭😅💀😟 Advice?

hey, i’m not sure where to start this. me and my ex were together for a year and we broke up a year ago because he was really avoidant and manipulative. i got with a new guy pretty quickly after because he treated me so well i felt like he was saving me from the past relationship because it was so terrible. anyways fast forward to now, im still with my current bf and im happy with him but every now and then i do think about my ex but i dont have feelings for him. I just found out he has a new girlfriend and idk how to feel. it’s been a year since we broke up yet i feel a tiny bit jealous. feeling jealous about it makes me feel so guilty since i have a bf. i’m just not sure if it’s normal to be a little jealous even though you’re in a happy relationship. maybe i never got closure in that relationship? i’m not sure. i did end things suddenly and completely stopped talking to him because i was just fed up with the way he treated me. when we broke up i wished him the best and left. an hour later he sent me a long paragraph about how everything was my fault and how he thought i was cheating on him?? i didn’t respond to that because it was just so disrespectful compared to what i said to him. anyways i literally just found out about his new gf and i hope i get over this little jealousy, but if i dont does that mean i still have feelings for him? or need closure? if i needed closure and had to contact him to talk about it i would feel very guilty again bc of my bf. anyways i would appreciate any advice thank u!