Friendship Stories

I honestly have no idea how I ended up here but I genuinely feel so alone and I have absolutely no one to listen and Im curious if anyone else feels this way or have some tips

I'm soon 18 (female)

I've noticed that I don't actually have any friends at all and I can't seem to be able to make any.

I restarted highschool again due to me failing my first year of highschool and took a year off to try to get my mental health a little better and I feel so embarrassed that I can't make a single friend at school

I understand that it's very difficult to get to know me because I'm extremely quiet and I'm too anxious to start a chat with anyone unless they speak to me first. I kind of feel like maybe it's just because of me being a girl or because I have Asperger

(im going construction because I aim to become a Plumber)

I thought I was fine till it really started to bother me a lot. Ive lost a lot for friends lately and the two connections I have left that ive known for 5+ years and been close to we have fallen out over the last year due to my mental health yet ive always tried to keep in contact.

but the thing that bothers me the most is that I always do my best to be a good friend to the ones I hold close

Ive showed up for them in their ups and downs and been there for them every single time they had it hard and I've been more genuine and caring to them then most of their friends and I've been there for almost all off their struggles and given them all the energy I've ever had yet it's still never enough and I'm always left alone no matter how much I try to be a good friend for others nobody ever gives me the same effort back or can even be bothered to ask me for once how I'm doing or texting me first for once

And what hurts me the most is that they would replace me with people who don't care about them as much and don't know them as well and won't show up for them at all yet they run to me and talk about their drama and problems

I feel like a filler friend untill their favourite comes around and I'm thrown away like garbage like I didn't mean anything to them on the first place

am I doomed to always give and never get anything back ?

Im so confused on what to do and I feel so alone in everything

I do my best to be the best version of myself for the ones I care about yet no one can ever even be bothered with ever giving me a small amount of effort back . I don't understand what I'm doing so wrong and I feel so selfish for just wanting friends who actually want to be there for me just the way I do for them

I've tried so hard to make new friends but it's like nobody wants to give me a shot at all I know I feel like I can be a great friend but why won't people accept me ? they always say I'm to nice or to sweet

(I'm not painting myself out to be a great person

I'm going off what others say about me)

i just dont understand what I'm doing so wrong

Am I in the wrong for feeling the way i do ?

why when you're talking to your parents and you're trying to vent to them or something and they start giving you unwanted advice and then you want to cry because they're not taking you serious and what you're saying and then you're about to cry and they ask oh are you about to cry and they start mocking you about it and then they make a face try to show that you're going to cry or something and then when you actually start doing it they're just like oh there's nothing to cry about like why do you do that like you're my parent you're supposed to hug me and call me if you think I'm going to cry you're not supposed to just sit there and laugh at me or make a face about it because I don't want you to give me this advice I'm just telling you how I feel when you do a certain something I'm not telling you to tell me how I should feel when something happens or how I should deal with something I'm just telling you how I feel what I'm going to do I'm not asking for this advice I'm just telling you what's happening and how I feel I'm not telling you to give me this advice because I already know what I'm going to do about half the time you're the reason I do because you made me go up so fast because if I don't grow fast enough then I'm a problem because I need to keep my room cleaning you this and you watch a little sister you need to wash the dishes you need to watch all the siblings and make sure that they don't do anything and then all this stuff so yes I know what I'm going to do because I'm not I'm a child but I'm not a 7 year old who's asking for advice I am a teenager who knows already what they're going to do and then on top of that I'm just doing so many things so I don't have a moment to breathe and so when I finally telling you how I feel I'm not telling you to make fun of me when I'm about to start crying because I'm finally letting all my emotions I'm not telling you to put a finger next to your eye to make the tears that are about to fall for my eyes I am telling you how am I feeling hug me say it's going to get better don't tell me this advice that's not even about the situation because you never been in this situation before because I'm different from my parents and they didn't grow up in the situation that I am and I am a very very well off child and I will never say that I'm not grateful for my parents do for me because I am beyond grateful they do everything that I ask and it they just don't have it right now they'll tell me and then they will come up with the plans trying to make it happen for me so I am so beyond grateful for that and I will never say that I love but there is a certain moments where they are just so unbearably unsufferable because I'm not allowed to express my feelings half the time because when I do finally try to express my feelings so it is not it's not that serious or something like please you need to understand but that's it because parents are going to keep doing what they do and no matter how many times I tried to tell them it's never going to stop . (this was typed using voice text so if that if it doesn't make sense that's why my bad too anyone reading this)

sincerely,

Melody (13 f)

To understand why I feel so strongly you need to know the context. I met this friend who we’ll call A, now me and A met in a psychiatric and behavioral clinic, we had an instant click. It was the type of friendship you know can last years, he was there for some of my darkest moments. We helped each other and generally just got along well. A and I expanded our friend group which felt nice, I’d never had friends like that before. An issue arose when there was a love triangle of sorts with another member J. Now J and I had something romantic brewing which was nice, I like him too, but then A said he’d also developed feelings for me. This was a whole mess in the group because I was put on the spot to choose who I’d rather be with, this was incredibly difficult because while I really liked J, I had been a bad partner and I was scared I’d he’d leave me. I was also scared I would lose A since I didn’t reciprocate those feelings, a friend in the group M told me if I couldn’t choose then I just shouldn’t be either either, I felt sad and alone so I chose J since he was there for me in all this, I understand why A took a break from me, we were young and emotional. The issue now though is J and I are still together and he really dislikes A from the past experience we had, I totally understand but I just can’t let A go, he is one of the only people I’ve confided in about incredibly difficult topics. He has gone through almost the exact same things as me which helps me feel like the unhealthy ways I cope don’t make me a freak, J is wonderful and I could never ask for a better partner, but he just cannot understand certain ways I act and so I miss talking to A. They hate eachother and I feel stuck in the middle since I had to cut contact with A, we talk now and then and the friendship is still there, but now he’s been avoiding my texts, I can see he’s online and he views my profile and likes my posts, he just won’t talk to me, how can I good with these feelings?

my friend called me to tell me about something horrible that has happened to her and we just hang up but i’m just so devastated im actually so sick to my stomach I tried my best to listen to everything she had to say, and tried to make her feel better somehow but im just so upset for her im just so disgusted upset and I don’t know what to do im so mad im so angry. I actually feel sick. what’s irritating me the most is the fact that we’re not in the same city, I can’t just drop everything and hug her and be there for her.

Hey so idk if this is just a hormonal feeling but lately it's getting hard for me to talk to my own friends about how I feel. I heard so many times on social media that people's friends are so sick of their friends venting to them. And I'm kinda scared and tbh last time I vented it felt like it got so brushed aside so easily. I feel like I'm being annoying. At school i use to just do stupid things with my friends but after I found out my crush said I was annoying and someone (who's pretty) said I don't stand a chance with them repeatly. Even my dad always said means things to me like being stupid or useless. I got kind of use to his mockery. When he found out I liked them he just said I wasn't good enough for them. I feel like social media is too blame as well but now I feel like I lost confidence in myself and my interest. especially at social events one of my friend's is very social so they usually sit with alot of people and idk how to include myself without feeling suffocated or childish. My problems feel so irrelevant and stupid to others.

But I still want to know how to get rid of this feeling because I feel like I'm pushing my friends away and I really don't want to end up alone.

I have had this weird feeling for a few years now, but I kinda disregarded it bc idk it doesn't feel like much, but its honestly kinda unbearable. Its like I feel like sad and depressed inside but I cant like feel it besides this pit in my stomach and tightness in my throat. Its like the emotions are stuck and I cant just feel them and get them over with like I do with other ones. idk if its leftover from a few years ago, but I hate it so much because its not enough of a bad feeling that I give myself grace, but I deffinetly don't feel happy or calm or even nutural. I just want to feel sad or happy not this weird in between where I cant feel anything.

so I just like kicked my friend's chair FOR FUN AS A JOKE I may add, and he turned around and said "Hey, don't hit me WOMAN" and I gave him a warning look and he said "Yeah, I said it!" and the teacher came over (shes w btw) and asked what was going on and my "friend" said "well SHE kicked the back of my chair and because they don't like being called a woman I called HER a SHE" and now I don't even want to be in the same room as him help me

whywhywhywhy

they hurt me but I don't know if its worth it to hold on to the anger. I don't really need to hate them anymore. so what do I do.

I am sick and tired of being the friend who is always left out, forgotten about or pushed to the side. my friends have a tendency to get together and not even send me a text to ask if I can join them. It seems like I am only ever included in plans if I am the one making the plans. and lately I have been offering ideas, and I keep getting shut down by everyone. it seems like they always have excuses, and it makes me wonder how much they even like me. after i have been making repeated suggestions about hanging out or doing something together, a bunch of my friends got together to go to a haunted house, and I didn't get a text from a single one of them. I found out today that they had all gotten together. it hurts a lot to be left out like this, when I try so hard. I really love and care about my friends, but when they do stuff like this all the time it makes me wonder if they even like me, or if they are just always annoyed with me. or if they keep me around to be a punching bag. two of my friends have a tendency to joke about me and make fun of me a lot. now, don't get me wrong, I am completely fine with joking around. I think it can be great in friendships, and bring people closer. however, it starts to hurt when I never hear anything nice from them. some days it seems like any time I do anything they have to pick on me for it. I always just laugh it off, but it makes me start to shut down so they will stop. the other thing is that sometimes the jokes they make are a little too real, or too far. and it seems like they are really taking digs at me disguised as jokes. this has a tendency to really hurt me and get under my skin. but I always just play it off and pretend to be fine because I have no idea how to bring it up to them without being scared that they will say that it's all just jokes and that I am taking it too personally. I like in a tiny tiny town in the middle of nowhere, so finding other people to be friends with just isn't an option. and sometimes my friends are awesome and they make me feel like part of the group, and like they really care about me. other times it feels like they are just annoyed and ticked off at me. so I have just come to the conclusion that I need to start being my own best friend. that way whenever they do stuff without me I don't have to feel left out because I can just do it by myself. and if I want to go do something, I can just go by myself. I live in an extremely tiny town, which makes it quite difficult to find anything to do. but I will figure something out some way. i was just wondering if anyone has any experience with learning to do things by yourself, and any ideas of things for me to do for fun. or if anyone has any tips on dealing with feeling left out. thank you for reading, and I hope you have an amazing day

I have a friend and at first, we had fun together, vent to me, and , trusted me with secrets. but recently, I noticed that she can just go a full day (in our school) without even saying hi to me, talk to me, takes super long to reply but can reply fast in our circle of friends gc. I was with our friend earlier and she only greeted and even hugged her excitedly asking how was the theatre play we watched like I wasn't there but she only noticed me when she was asking about where am I gonna wait. I feel like she just used me from the beggining cause I was always left alone in school and can be seen as very vulnerable. she said that she wants to protect someone who's vulnerable but she only cares about what person she sees and not like remember the other people. she also said to me that she got used by having the personality of happy go people though. this more happened when she got closed again to her crush who repeatedly hurt her by ignoring the chats and not responding to them. she even reposted posts about being left outland forgotten but I always see her with someone else, other people that always find her, and her that is willingly talking to them. she even left out us for our other friend. she just confuses me idk if she really cares about me. I'm a sensitive person and I can't help to notice and deeply care about what I noticed and what I feel so idk if I'm just being overly sensitive..

I have been friends with jemma for a very long time, or at least over 2 years. This past summer she invited me to join her at her church's sleepaway summer camp, which was around 5 days long. I agreed, thinking that it would be a great bonding experience and a way to get closer to God. Some context, I new only 3 other people going, none of which I was friends with.

We get on the bus to go to the camp and not even an hour into the bus ride I am sitting alone, jemma decided to hang out with a group of kids in a circle a little ways behind me. I only knew 1 guy out of all of these kids, lets call him caleb. He noticed that jemma had been kinda excluding me and called her out on it and invited/demanded me to join us in the circle, this was really nice of him, he even introduced me and made sure I was participating in the conversation. But jemma still wouldn't talk to me, she instead was completely focus on hanging out with some people she only met an hour ago, she's very extroverted and charistmatic, which works wayyyy in her advantage.

We get to the camp and jemma convinces me to bunk not in our assigned room, but with 7 other girls in a different room. The next day she ends up telling me that her and one of the girls are going to move into abbigale's room. They had been planning this allllll day, and only told me right before they finished packing up their stuff. She asked if i wanted to move rooms to, and because I literally knew nobody else there, of course i said yes. It didn't end up mattering anyways because the church leaders caught everybody switching rooms and made us move back to our original rooms.

Later that same day we went to the chappel, for our evening service. Our church plays a lot of music, and we all like to sing along infront of the stage. The thing is that jemma would walk away from me with these other girls, so i would be left alone the majority of the time. After the service jemma and this girl sophie, who was actually really nice, convinced me to walk around with caleb and this guy jemma liked. caleb and this other guy went back to their cabins to grab hoodies for us, cuz it was raining and we didn't want our hair getting all soaked, sweet right? Yeah, until you remember there are 2 guys and 3 girls.

I'm pretty sure you can quess how that turned out....

So I ended up getting soaked as we all walked around the campgrounds, which was basically a bunch of cabins in the middle of a secluded forest, at night. Eventually me and sophie get separated from everybody else, cuz we were talking to caleb's step-mom who was a volunteer there. The entire time we were walking around the camp, about an hour, they were all walking in a line next to each other. And guess where i was. Behind all of them. The guy jemma liked noticed i was kind of excluded and maybe i looked down so he asked if i was okay, and you know what jemma said, yeah, shes just quiet....

WHAT! THE! HECK!

Anyways me and sophie make it back to the hotel the girls were staying at and we were told that we needed to move back to our original rooms, my stuff was already packed up so i moved to my original room immediatly. Jemma still wasn't back, and we had a curfew, that she definetely didn't follow. She never ended up coming to our original room, instead she moved to the room with abbigale, with the girl she said was also moving with her. She somehow convinced the leader to not only let her move, but also let the other girl. Apparently there wasn't enough room left in the room for me, also apparently the girl you met not even 2 days ago takes priority over the girl you have known for 2 years....

Basically she brushed me off the next day and as the week goes on i hang out with other people, because every time i hung out with jemma i was excluded, which was something i was used to. She would exclude me allllll the time when we would hang out before this. But this was too far. Then she got mad at me for not hanging out with her, and hanging out with people who didn't exclude me. Like be sooooooo for real. I even invited her to hang out with me and my new friends on the last day because i knew she was really mad at me, which was completely uneccessary on my part, and she then told me that she was just planning on napping during the free time....instead she got an entire makeover with fake lashes and cornrows....which was an interesting choice because both me and her are WHITE white, but i can't really have an opinion on that.

The worst part was that at the end of camp the people in the room the me and jemma had moved into the first night found jemma's hoodie (we have matching ones) on the bathroom floor, and they almost had to throw it out because she didn't come to pick it up until right before we had to leave.

I end up sitting with sophie on the ride home and we had a good time. But when we got to the church and i saw my parent's she acted like we had soooo much fun together at camp and hugged me and told me she loved me and was going to miss me, but it was only because we were right in front of my parents....

I tried contacting her a little after camp to talk things through and instead of apologizing she blamed it on her feeling "off" the entire time we were at camp and tried to flip it around to me having more fun with another one of my friends than i do with her, which honestly came out of nowhere. I end up informing all of my friends about this and a week or 2 into the new school year we all decide we are going to distance ourselves from her.

Well 2 months later and they are all joking around with her, inviting her to their parties, and telling her everything i told them in confidence.

Yesterday i found out from my sister that jemma was telling people that i was "following her around like a dog" at camp.

Woooooowwwwwww

way to blame the victim....anywayssss. I told all of my friends this today and guess what, nobody cared. They all still hung out with her after school, made jokes with her, and probably even told her what i said to them. I love my friends but the thing is that jemma introduced me to these friends, so i can't expect them to not be friends with her any more. She can be really manipulative, like she has done realllyyyy bad things to these friends too but they just tolerate it.

I have this one friend ash, and she supports me wholeheartedly with the jemma thing, but she is also really mean at the same time. Like when i tried to vent to her about the new thing with jemma she just brushed me off and proceeded to tell me that she "is always secretly judging me", she can also get really defensive, for instance one day i asked if she could refrain from teasing me that day because i was feeling really down. Later that day i hear that she was telling me friends that when i "snapped at her the morning it ruined her entire day".

She also tends to make fun of the clothing i wear and my physical appearance, and whenever i say ANYTHING she just tells me "oh my gosh that sounded so fake", like gurl i was just saying goodbye to my neighboor, what are you talking about. but it makes me really self concious. I just feel like friends should lift you up, not drag you down.

This one was realllly long, so sorry for that, but if you ended up reading all of this thank you! I've just been feeling really insecure in my friendships recently, so if any of you guys have tips on how to navigate this, with jemma, or my friends, or with ash, that would be amazing!

bassically, its only like the third day back at school? and my mental health has already plumetted. like people decide to just drop their shit on me and run like its the wind. one of my friends wont stop traumadumping whenever I'm near. and another is just going around showing videos of him cutting himself. and everyone is just constantly dropping their trauma onto my back without asking. nor do they ever consider it might be fucking triggering.

you abandoned me, and for what? nothing. I did nothing to you and you left me. so you know what? go die for all I care.

Where do I start?

There are a lot of people that say they "have no one". I have no one. The only person I ever talk to is my alcoholic ex-spouse.

No friends.

No coworkers.

Nothing.

I had some legal issues that started a few years back. The drama around that (with the fans flamed by the ex - we were still 'together' at the time) caused anyone that I hung out with to fully cut me off.

I ended up spending a bit of time on a grippy sock vacation in the psych ward.

No one called.

No one reached out.

Nothing.

Crickets.

I spent the last 2 or so years still living with the ex, still trying to deal with their issues, burying mine, with no support.

I spent my entire life supporting everyone else - parents (even as a child), spouse, volunteering, etc.

I spent my entire adult life trying to better myself. I wanted to be able to provide better than my parents were able to. I achieved that. I was the first in my family, even extended family, to graduate college. Then a master's degree. Then nearly 20 years at the same organization, working my way up through to a trusted mid-level manager with a six figure salary.

Fast-forward.

The legal issue came to a head. I made a big mistake. Once.

I've heard that we shouldn't be defined by our biggest mistake. We can't ignore the good. We can't label someone based solely on one point in time, one event, one moment...good or bad. Seems like people like to say that to make themselves feel good. They don't apply it to others.

Maybe, someone does.

But I cannot find or even try to find that someone.

Due to the legal situation, I lost my job, I'm struggling to find one.

I have about 4-5 months that I'll be able to still financially support myself.

I have so many restrictions.

Places I can't go.

Things I can't do.

I can't go to places where adults usually gather (because they serve alcohol). I can't go to places that don't serve alcohol because there are kids present.

I have nothing.

I have no way to find support.

I just exist.

That's it. Existence. Nothing more.

atp im thinking that i dont deserve to have my own best friend so im planning to live alone (?) by next year. i mean..i do live with my parents but im not gonna hangout anymore. does anyone here can give me tips to be happy and feel contented even you're alone? id appreciate if you can give some so i can prepare for next year! 🥹