Friendship Stories

i have a best friend. She's been my best friend for the longest time after all my friends stopped being friends with me around some year in middle school, if i'm not wrong.

i've felt her love all this years—as a friend, of course. i felt so close to her, almost as if we were siblings. i always felt comfortable around her and just did whatever i want because i felt like she accepted me however i was.

Thing is, after all this long, long years, where things have changed drastically and we're definitely not as close as we used to be....................... i think i like her.

That shouldn't be a problem. Friends tend to fall in love with their friends and that's how they end up marrying and having a family and blah blah blah. It's normal and it should be.

*Should* be, because it's not normal.

We're both girls. And that...... kind of terrifies me.

i have nothing against homosexuals. i love y'all people, would never see a bit of hate from me towards you or anyone else. It's just—

Yeah, i have a faith. And *this*?

This kind of f*cks up everything.

i've dealt with this feeling for *a while* now. Tried to suppress them, tried to understand them, tried to forget about it.......

Nothing works.

It just feels so wrong however i look at it.

i don't like her in a way i can imagine or daydream about us being in a relationship and having a future together—no, i just-- i just want her to be by my side. To be together. As just friends, or a bit something else, in some sense(?). That she does love me back. That it would be mutual. That, even if she has lots more of friends aside from me, at the end of the day she still comes back to hug me and tell me she loves me.

i have never talked to her about this because— first of all, i'm shy, even with her. i've changed and i don't feel as close as we were back then. Just saying all of this here is embarrassing enough, because it feels like admitting something huge and making it *real*—it's scary. i'm doing this only because i'm desperate to let it out and it's anonymous. And, second— HOW THE HELL DO I GO AND TELL HER "hey, i think i like you. Not sure tho but what'd you think"?!! i wouldn't go and say it that way, but in ANY way i say it, i feel like i'm going to ruin a friendship i've taken years on to build, after being left by many and become isolated.

Look, maybe i'm just overly attached to her because she's literally my only friend left (and i feel like this is going to break any time) or idk i'm going through a phase or something. Or maybe i just admire her or something and i'm mistaking it for romantic love??

But every time i look at her—bathed in sunshine, beneath moonlight; under blue skies or a sunset of hues. Even sweating overwhelmed by summer heat or soaked in cold winter rain. She just shines. She's beautiful. She's so damn pretty it hurts. Her smile is something i want for only me. i'm guilty of feeling a little possessive in that way. But especially in the way she speaks—her voice, her words, her gestures. How she feels and how she shows it; in the way she does mundane chores or a complex project of any kind, of anything she's interested in.

i just......... Feel short of words.

i feel so in love that it truly hurts—because i like her, so much, and she seems unreachable... And even if she was at my very reach... It feels incredibly wrong.

i'm scared of ever saying something even slightly related to my feelings to her, because anything and everything feels exposing, from what i do and what i don't.

i just feel so stupid......

Being in love is difficult, i hadn't been in forever... i hate it... But i also lover her so much it kind of numbs the hate... But then i hate to admit it... Damn it...

Also, do i have to actually put that question it tells me to put at the end...?

Have you ever just woke up and your mind is like i gave up on any kind of relationship like you just no longer wanna engage and just enjoying the solutide because all this things is just getting tired. Like you just wanna surrender and okay with being alone.

Im tired of actually putting so much effort to keep any kind of relationship and just ended up feeling everything is not reciprocate at the end. I’d rather let everything fall apart once i dont put any effort and hopefully it’ll open a new door for better things for myself.

Maybe how i show up authentically is actually by being with myself and building the relationship with myself.

Thank you guys for all the advice! I asked the friend why they were doing that to me and they admitted that they were struggling with their own issues and needed an outlet for their anger. They apologized and are trying to be better. I told them that I don't think we'll be able to be as close friends as before, but we can try to at least be friends. Thank you all for the support 🫶

Hi, my name is Onyx. My friend called me a pick me for venting and just trying to get people to recognize that I'm struggling both mentally and emotionally. To give some context, this friend and I have been friends for a year. I had made food for them, supported them through hard times, bought them stuff, and used my money to buy and help them out with stuff. I'm wanting to know if I'm the pick me for Venting to this friend as well as some mutual friends of ours about what's going on at home and what I've been struggling with. Am I in the wrong here?

So they are my childhood friends who make fun of only me and i was so naive back then but now also it's just like i am almost scared of them like if i say something wrong they are gonna say something and whenever i see them now it's like all the fun they made of me or all the whispers i heard or the judging comes flowing back but then there's a very little part who thinks like they are my friends like i spent half of my life with them so i just go meet them and after meeting then it just feels bad even if they are good to me at that time i just can't trust them because they prove me wrong everytime i thik they are nice to me it's like idk. and one more thing all those years i just used to laugh with them and then come home and cry so much like i had more bad memoris of them than good

Ok so here goes nothing i have been in a pickle for this thing for the longest time because idk so umm from grade 5 i was in the same section till grade 10 and all of the students were same and my friend group consisted of almost the whole class so there were 2 kinf of people one they made fun of me my facial features and my past like what i used to do as a kid and i clearly gave them signs that don't talk like that but yk looking back thery just made fun of me 96ercent of the time we were togther yk i get like wanting to laugh but why would they only talk about me idk is this normal or am i being dramatic ? and there are type 2 people who think i am not just on their level because i don't have enough money i have heard them whispering about me or sometimes they would say it to my face but all i did was i kept quiet idk if these friends are really my friends or not ?

I think I might be the floater friend. I used to have a friend group of four people including me. I was actually the last one to be included, and I tend to be the quiet one while the other three are the ones who talk all the time. But that doesn’t mean I never react to their messages, I do. I’m just not the type who likes to initiate conversations all the time, especially when there’s nothing happening in my life.

But I can sense them slowly drifting away from me. I feel like one of them is the “leader” of the group, and she’s the one who kind of decides where the relationship goes between all of us. I recently found out they went back to their old group chat where I’m not included. I asked if something was going on, and we talked it out, but in the end they still ended up talking only among themselves.

Honestly, it really sucks. I feel excluded, but there’s nothing more I can do because I’ve already addressed it, and everything after that feels out of my control. I guess I’ll just let this friendship slowly fall apart.

Long story short, I have an online friend whom I formed a very close bond with /p. We would talk almost everyday. A few months ago, she stopped talking to me, informing me that due to family emergencies, she is overwhelmed and needs some time by herself. I understood that and waited for her, even though, I felt very lonely. She came back for a very short time and then said she's becoming inactive again, due to more family emergencies happening. Again, I tried to understand.

She came back after her family emergencies were finally over. We started talking again, everything seemed to be back to the usual. Until 3 weeks ago, she said she needs to focus on her exams and I understood. I stopped talking in our private server altogether because that's what I always do whenever she's gone. When I trust someone, I tend to talk a lot. That's why I held myself back to not overwhelm her.

A few days after she said that, she came back, sending a voice message talking about a situation she told me before she went on a break/hiatus. But I wasn't home and I couldn't give her my full attention. So I decided to leave it for later and I forgot (For better or for worse). Then a few days *after* the VM, she messaged, saying she ruined one of her exams and she needs to delete Discord to "lock in".

When she first said that, I was very upset. Because like I said, I stopped talking to her to let her focus on her exams. I didn't want her to get distracted by my messages. I felt like she's saying it's my fault... Because I'm the person she talked to the most on Discord. Also, it begs the question what the heck was she doing when she first said she needs to focus on her exams? I thought that was her "locking in".

But also, the amount and the lengths of these breaks are getting ridiculous to me. She started talking to me only for a month (Maybe even less) before she disappeared again. I know you have to understand that your friends might need some alone time and that they're not available forever. But I'm genuinely starting to get scared :,).

The thing is, due to a lot of my past "friends" taking advantage of me, I've become very paranoid. The moment the smallest thing happens, I start to feel like that this friendship is over... I don't always talk about them to my friend because I know sometimes my thoughts are irrational. (I was paranoid even when she disappeared because of her family emergencies, which was a very valid and understanding reason :,).)

Another thing is I'm an only child and I generally grew up very lonely. So when I feel attached to someone, it's hard to let go. I'm not saying this to garner sympathy. I'm just explaining why all of this is making me panic and why my attachment to my friends can get in the way.

Seeing that the number and length of her breaks are becoming longer, I feel terrified... This particular friend feels special to me because not only she fuels my artistic side, she also has been the most understanding and supportive friend I had...

I'm not saying I don't have friends outside of social media. It's just I just found new friends after moving back to my hometown and it will take a while for me to trust them and talk to them the same way I talk to this friend. So it feels really lonely for me right now...

It's not that I'm not busy at all, I'm probably more busy than my friend because aside from classes and studying, I also have a part-time job and my university's Psychology Association. But whenever I have free time and I check Discord and when I see our private server being inactive, it really hurts...

But I still feel selfish for feeling this way... I know I should be supportive and understand my friend no matter what and not always think about my own benefits. But it feels a bit tiring to wait for so long for your friend to start talking to you again, only for your friend to disappear again.

During her hiatuses, we would sometimes send Reels to each other that were like "Thank you for being my friend!" "I'm proud of you!" and these days when I send one, she either doesn't open my DM's despite occasionally posting on her Stories, or takes forever to leave a reaction or something. She also stopped sending me any, which really breaks my heart... (Yes, she hasn't deleted Instagram. An app that is arguably more distracting than Discord...)

The other sad part is that her birthday is coming *somewhat* soon and I wanted to be next to her to celebrate. I was planning on doing a simple drawing of her OC to celebrate, maybe even VC and talk about stuff. But I have a feeling it won't get acknowledged just like the Reels...

I'm sorry I know I sound selfish and petty through this. I don't know what to do. I really miss my friend. But I'm starting to feel like maybe our friendship won't work anymore... Because I feel like after starting to talk to each other, she's gonna disappear again and I can't take it anymore. It hurts so much that I can't help but feel upset. It kind of makes me not want to talk to her if she came back... My paranoid side feels like she's found new friends and that's why she's become comfortable with leaving me behind. I'm not saying it's bad to have other friends. I'm saying I think I'm being replaced...

I'm sorry again. I feel really pessimistic about this, even when I try to not judge quickly and be understanding. If anyone has any advice for me to cope with this, I'd appreciate it.

I only seen to attract the wrong type of friends. They’re always manipulative or toxic or self centered and such. One of my friends called me names as a joke, another one ghosted me, another one uses me to get stuff from teachers, another one made fun of me when I called my mom because I was fainting in class, another one called me a snitch for telling her about my mother’s affair that has been heavy on me, another one gossiped about me behind my back, one is flirting with my crush, another one laughed off my mental health. I don’t know if I should have friends anymore. All my friends are like that and I don’t have family members who I can confide in and now I just feel lonely and pathetic. What should I do?

I honestly have no idea how I ended up here but I genuinely feel so alone and I have absolutely no one to listen and Im curious if anyone else feels this way or have some tips

I'm soon 18 (female)

I've noticed that I don't actually have any friends at all and I can't seem to be able to make any.

I restarted highschool again due to me failing my first year of highschool and took a year off to try to get my mental health a little better and I feel so embarrassed that I can't make a single friend at school

I understand that it's very difficult to get to know me because I'm extremely quiet and I'm too anxious to start a chat with anyone unless they speak to me first. I kind of feel like maybe it's just because of me being a girl or because I have Asperger

(im going construction because I aim to become a Plumber)

I thought I was fine till it really started to bother me a lot. Ive lost a lot for friends lately and the two connections I have left that ive known for 5+ years and been close to we have fallen out over the last year due to my mental health yet ive always tried to keep in contact.

but the thing that bothers me the most is that I always do my best to be a good friend to the ones I hold close

Ive showed up for them in their ups and downs and been there for them every single time they had it hard and I've been more genuine and caring to them then most of their friends and I've been there for almost all off their struggles and given them all the energy I've ever had yet it's still never enough and I'm always left alone no matter how much I try to be a good friend for others nobody ever gives me the same effort back or can even be bothered to ask me for once how I'm doing or texting me first for once

And what hurts me the most is that they would replace me with people who don't care about them as much and don't know them as well and won't show up for them at all yet they run to me and talk about their drama and problems

I feel like a filler friend untill their favourite comes around and I'm thrown away like garbage like I didn't mean anything to them on the first place

am I doomed to always give and never get anything back ?

Im so confused on what to do and I feel so alone in everything

I do my best to be the best version of myself for the ones I care about yet no one can ever even be bothered with ever giving me a small amount of effort back . I don't understand what I'm doing so wrong and I feel so selfish for just wanting friends who actually want to be there for me just the way I do for them

I've tried so hard to make new friends but it's like nobody wants to give me a shot at all I know I feel like I can be a great friend but why won't people accept me ? they always say I'm to nice or to sweet

(I'm not painting myself out to be a great person

I'm going off what others say about me)

i just dont understand what I'm doing so wrong

Am I in the wrong for feeling the way i do ?

why when you're talking to your parents and you're trying to vent to them or something and they start giving you unwanted advice and then you want to cry because they're not taking you serious and what you're saying and then you're about to cry and they ask oh are you about to cry and they start mocking you about it and then they make a face try to show that you're going to cry or something and then when you actually start doing it they're just like oh there's nothing to cry about like why do you do that like you're my parent you're supposed to hug me and call me if you think I'm going to cry you're not supposed to just sit there and laugh at me or make a face about it because I don't want you to give me this advice I'm just telling you how I feel when you do a certain something I'm not telling you to tell me how I should feel when something happens or how I should deal with something I'm just telling you how I feel what I'm going to do I'm not asking for this advice I'm just telling you what's happening and how I feel I'm not telling you to give me this advice because I already know what I'm going to do about half the time you're the reason I do because you made me go up so fast because if I don't grow fast enough then I'm a problem because I need to keep my room cleaning you this and you watch a little sister you need to wash the dishes you need to watch all the siblings and make sure that they don't do anything and then all this stuff so yes I know what I'm going to do because I'm not I'm a child but I'm not a 7 year old who's asking for advice I am a teenager who knows already what they're going to do and then on top of that I'm just doing so many things so I don't have a moment to breathe and so when I finally telling you how I feel I'm not telling you to make fun of me when I'm about to start crying because I'm finally letting all my emotions I'm not telling you to put a finger next to your eye to make the tears that are about to fall for my eyes I am telling you how am I feeling hug me say it's going to get better don't tell me this advice that's not even about the situation because you never been in this situation before because I'm different from my parents and they didn't grow up in the situation that I am and I am a very very well off child and I will never say that I'm not grateful for my parents do for me because I am beyond grateful they do everything that I ask and it they just don't have it right now they'll tell me and then they will come up with the plans trying to make it happen for me so I am so beyond grateful for that and I will never say that I love but there is a certain moments where they are just so unbearably unsufferable because I'm not allowed to express my feelings half the time because when I do finally try to express my feelings so it is not it's not that serious or something like please you need to understand but that's it because parents are going to keep doing what they do and no matter how many times I tried to tell them it's never going to stop . (this was typed using voice text so if that if it doesn't make sense that's why my bad too anyone reading this)

sincerely,

Melody (13 f)

To understand why I feel so strongly you need to know the context. I met this friend who we’ll call A, now me and A met in a psychiatric and behavioral clinic, we had an instant click. It was the type of friendship you know can last years, he was there for some of my darkest moments. We helped each other and generally just got along well. A and I expanded our friend group which felt nice, I’d never had friends like that before. An issue arose when there was a love triangle of sorts with another member J. Now J and I had something romantic brewing which was nice, I like him too, but then A said he’d also developed feelings for me. This was a whole mess in the group because I was put on the spot to choose who I’d rather be with, this was incredibly difficult because while I really liked J, I had been a bad partner and I was scared I’d he’d leave me. I was also scared I would lose A since I didn’t reciprocate those feelings, a friend in the group M told me if I couldn’t choose then I just shouldn’t be either either, I felt sad and alone so I chose J since he was there for me in all this, I understand why A took a break from me, we were young and emotional. The issue now though is J and I are still together and he really dislikes A from the past experience we had, I totally understand but I just can’t let A go, he is one of the only people I’ve confided in about incredibly difficult topics. He has gone through almost the exact same things as me which helps me feel like the unhealthy ways I cope don’t make me a freak, J is wonderful and I could never ask for a better partner, but he just cannot understand certain ways I act and so I miss talking to A. They hate eachother and I feel stuck in the middle since I had to cut contact with A, we talk now and then and the friendship is still there, but now he’s been avoiding my texts, I can see he’s online and he views my profile and likes my posts, he just won’t talk to me, how can I good with these feelings?

my friend called me to tell me about something horrible that has happened to her and we just hang up but i’m just so devastated im actually so sick to my stomach I tried my best to listen to everything she had to say, and tried to make her feel better somehow but im just so upset for her im just so disgusted upset and I don’t know what to do im so mad im so angry. I actually feel sick. what’s irritating me the most is the fact that we’re not in the same city, I can’t just drop everything and hug her and be there for her.

Hey so idk if this is just a hormonal feeling but lately it's getting hard for me to talk to my own friends about how I feel. I heard so many times on social media that people's friends are so sick of their friends venting to them. And I'm kinda scared and tbh last time I vented it felt like it got so brushed aside so easily. I feel like I'm being annoying. At school i use to just do stupid things with my friends but after I found out my crush said I was annoying and someone (who's pretty) said I don't stand a chance with them repeatly. Even my dad always said means things to me like being stupid or useless. I got kind of use to his mockery. When he found out I liked them he just said I wasn't good enough for them. I feel like social media is too blame as well but now I feel like I lost confidence in myself and my interest. especially at social events one of my friend's is very social so they usually sit with alot of people and idk how to include myself without feeling suffocated or childish. My problems feel so irrelevant and stupid to others.

But I still want to know how to get rid of this feeling because I feel like I'm pushing my friends away and I really don't want to end up alone.

I have had this weird feeling for a few years now, but I kinda disregarded it bc idk it doesn't feel like much, but its honestly kinda unbearable. Its like I feel like sad and depressed inside but I cant like feel it besides this pit in my stomach and tightness in my throat. Its like the emotions are stuck and I cant just feel them and get them over with like I do with other ones. idk if its leftover from a few years ago, but I hate it so much because its not enough of a bad feeling that I give myself grace, but I deffinetly don't feel happy or calm or even nutural. I just want to feel sad or happy not this weird in between where I cant feel anything.