Friendship Stories

Today my best friend called me and we were talking. In the middle of the conversation she said, “You know, I even argued with someone for you.” I asked why, what happened. Then she told me that a few days ago she had gone to a famous place for a trip and to visit her institute. She stayed at one of her cousin’s places. While she was there, I had called her, and maybe the phone was on speaker. Out of excitement I told her to bring something for me. Her cousin heard that and said, “Doesn’t she know how to talk? Has she never gone anywhere before?” its not like that i never travelled but only beacuse of my excitement

My best friend stood up for me, but she told me about this today and I’m feeling bad about it.

DEAR GOD WHEN CAN I HAVE A BESTFRIEND THAT CARED ME, I'M SICK OF BEING A EXTRA/LEFTOUT FRIEND I JUST WANT A REALL DAMN BESTFRIEND, AM I THE PROBLEM???, I ALWAYS TREATING MY FRIEND WITH KIDNESS BUT THEY ONLY SAW THE WORST INE ME😭😭😭

I've had multiple close friends before. and we always break up because of me somehow.

here was one time me and two of my close friends were studying. one of them said she dreamt of me dancing, naked. I thought it was hilarious. but when we went to class the next day, mind you, I'm only close to those two I heard everybody laughing at the back and I heard someone laugh out loud talking about my naked body. at that time I was sitting alone to study the other two talking with others. literally the whole class was talking about my naked body I was offended I didn't want to talk to them anymore and blablabla. but they say that im heartless because they cried and said sorry but I won't forgive them

the next one I had another close friend. she accused me of ruining her project then said something that was totally out of her character that really hurt me because she would never say anything like that before. I had this one art book of mine she's also a talented artist so she likes to paint my drawing because she mostly does digital. I would lend her the book so she could color it. I NEVER once asked her myself to paint it but I let her since she wanted to. but then when we fought she ripped all of my drawing which I spent hours on because she said I she colored them so she has a right to take it without compromising with me first. then I cried because all of my hard work was gone just like that. she said I don't deserve to cry and that she's the one who's supposed to be crying

then another one, I started talking to her because she looked lonely then we became close obviously I would share my personal stuff with her but then she told people that I was after her money. the thing is she's never even bought me anything. and I'm the type of person that never asks anyone to pay for me infact I would pay for them. and she's not even that rich.

so is it really my fault, like maybe I'm misunderstanding things or like maybe I'm too sensitive? because everyone seems to think that I'm in the wrong.. there's more actually but I'm not gonna write all my experience am I haha😅

So just for a background on me so it isn’t confusing.

I’m 19F and I’ve been homeschooled since I was in grade 3 till grade 8 so I had no experience with friends. I also have a anxiety disorder and really bad social anxiety

Anywayyyyyy—

To my story.

So I have this friend I’ll call D. Me and him have been friends for over 6 months now. We’re pretty close, hang out atleast once a week, tell each other everything and anything. It’s awesome. Truly.

But I feel like I’m too much. Maybe it’s just my anxiety. Maybe not. That’s why I’m here.

When I make friends I’m pretty quiet and just anxious any little thing I do is gonna make them upset. But once I get comfortable I get abit hyper and sometimes don’t really think about what I say until after the fact.

Like once we were making jokes at a clothing store, I joked about something he’d said the day before and he got really quiet for a few minutes before going back to normal.

I have had alot of friends just up and start ignoring me just cause they can or I become to much I don’t really know cause everyone just says I’m fine.

But it’s gotta be me. Three different people who were in my friend group for over three years don’t just up and leave cause they can.

And I’m scared. Cause I really like D. He’s been my first real friend I’ve had in a long time and I don’t wanna go back to being alone and friendless cause I’m an idiot.

Kinda just ranting at this point but hey that’s what this is for.

I’ll give acouple examples so I’m not asking people to blindly judge me. 😅

1.

Me and D were at a friend of ours house that were not to close with. We got talking about D and his sexuality (which he’s very openly gay) we weren’t being offensive or anything. I made a joke about his crush he had, not insulting just joking about his type (which he’s very openly does to me all the time) and he got really quiet for afew minutes.

2.

I was tutoring a kid of my coworkers and he asked me to call D (he knows him and his mom) I did and we got joking about a funny picture I have of D. He knows I have it, he finds it funny to and even encouraged me to show our close friends. He has funny pictures of me and I allow him to joke about them to. The kid brought up the picture I showed him and his mom and D got really quiet for afew minutes and then went back to normal.

Am I over sharing? Am I being too much? Should I quiet down? Just need some suggestions.

Thanks 🙏

My friend is married and has a wife and a kid. I love him platonically and I've often worried that us being close can be perceived as anything other than pure friendship. I'm a girl for context. We're both in our 20s. I've never been in a relationship, but all my friends including him are aware i'm not interested in dating. I'm also on the asexuality spectrum. Our friendshio has always been pure but things have been getting weird. I wonder if it's my fault. I'm heavily engaged in fandom things whereas he isn't. Anyway he'sknown since forever that I read fanfiction, even messed up kinds. Smut fic makes me fall asleep. Recently, he asked if there was any tropes i liked and I told him. But Idk why despite telling him im on the ace spectrum he kept relating it to me in a sexual way? It made me uncomfortable because i never imagine myself when I'm reading those. They've always been abstract to me. He's also recently been giving out hypothetical if i were single scenarios and I want to run away because it sounds like theres something more to it and I dont want any of that. I cant help but feel mad that he's being like this. I dont want to label but he's been dumping things on me emotionally that he won't dump on his wife, even though I've told him repeatedly he should.

My friend keeps telling me worrying things like sometimes he just wants to kill humself but what's the point and how he's numb and depressed. and same thing I tell him to talk to his wife or go to a therapist. It's been so draining and I'm getting so anxious. Like why are you being like this 😭

I love him dearly as a friend but how he's acting makes him seem like such a sleaze right now (i told him about things i like reading in fiction and he keep relating it to me sexually) and it's frustrating because he doesnt feel safe anymore :(

all my friends are committed and/or got acceptences to colleges that are top 10 or so and im the only one who hasnt gotten any back yet. this wasnt an issue until they started asking me every single day whether i got any decisions or if ill just commit to a state school while talking bad behind my back about how im stupid for months and i didnt say anything. i dont think im stupid, ive worked incredibly hard i have a higher gpa and class rank then all of them and international ecs but ive always tried to actively help them out. today one of them called me to brag and gloat that they got in my dream school that i had gotten deferred from and made sure to reiterate it over and over in a 15 minute call before i had to hang up despite saying congrats genuinually for the first 10 minutes. i feel like an asshole for being upset about this and if i tell anyone how i feel i will be an asshole so im venting here, are my feelings even justified.

i keep losing people and i know the common denominator is me. i can’t retain friends, can’t maintain the relationship lifecycle, can’t even pass the basic onboarding phase without screwing up the deliverables. i ghost when things get real. i overshare when it’s casual. i either underperform emotionally or i flood the pipeline with too much data. it’s inefficient and people churn out. that’s not me being dramatic, it’s just pattern recognition. the metrics are obvious. high initial engagement, sharp drop-off, zero retention. i suck at friendship. i don’t nurture it, don’t water it, don’t even check the soil. then i act surprised when it dies. i tell myself i prefer being alone, that independence is some kind of premium subscription, but it’s mostly ego and poor communication skills. i don’t like small talk, i don’t like constant texting, i don’t like pretending to care about things that feel trivial. but that’s part of the social contract, right? reciprocity, mutual validation, shared maintenance. i don’t comply, so the contract expires. people move on. they should. i’m not exactly a value add 😒. i get defensive fast. i interpret neutral feedback as a threat. i treat vulnerability like a security breach. then i wonder why nobody sticks around. it’s not malicious, it’s just how i’m wired. still, intent doesn’t negate impact. do you ever notice how you sabotage connections before they stabilize? or is that just me being fundamentally defective. i watch others build tight circles, group chats buzzing, weekend plans locked in, and i’m here with archived conversations and muted notifications. i can analyze it like a case study. attachment issues, poor conflict resolution, low tolerance for ambiguity. all textbook stuff. but knowing the theory doesn’t fix the execution. i fail the practical every time. and now i actually need someone. not for entertainment. not for optics. for support. real, boring, consistent support. and i have no one to call 🤷‍♂️.

i pushed everyone to the periphery because closeness felt like liability. proximity increases risk exposure. the closer someone gets, the more surface area there is for disappointment, for judgment, for abandonment. so i preemptively detach. i downgrade people from priority to optional. i delay replies. i cancel plans. i make sarcasm my primary interface. it’s not charming, it’s just rude. i know that. i see it happening in real time and still don’t interrupt the process. it’s like watching a system crash and refusing to patch it. then when i finally hit a low point, when stress spikes and the internal bandwidth collapses, i look around and there’s no redundancy, no backup server, no human failover. just me and my stupid pride. i need a friend right now and that feels pathetic to admit. not a crowd. not followers. one person. someone stable. someone who won’t interpret my silence as hostility but also won’t enable it. someone who calls me out without turning it into a performance review. is that too much to ask? or am i the unreasonable variable in every equation. i don’t blame the people who left. they optimized for their own wellbeing. that’s rational. i would’ve done the same in their position. but here’s the part that pisses me off: i actually care. i just don’t express it in a user friendly way. my empathy is clunky. my timing is off. my tone is sharp. i default to critique instead of comfort. and yeah, that makes me hard to keep around. i can admit that without self pity. this isn’t a sob story. it’s a status report. current state: isolated. root cause: poor relational management. desired outcome: one solid friend. i don’t need daily affirmation. i don’t need dramatic loyalty vows. i need consistency. shared silence. mutual respect. basic human presence. and i don’t know how to build that without eventually screwing it up again. maybe the real issue is that i treat friendship like a transaction instead of a process; maybe i expect immediate ROI instead of long term investment. either way, i’m here. blunt. aware. alone. so tell me, how do you keep people close without suffocating them or pushing them away. or do you just accept that some of us aren’t built for connection and move on.

Friendship problems don’t always come from fights.

Sometimes they come from success.

Or insecurity.

Or unspoken competition.

You notice it in subtle comparisons. In jokes that sting a little. In the way celebration feels slightly uncomfortable.

I used to ignore those signals. Now I don’t. Patterns matter. Whether it’s in people or in logic puzzles, repetition tells you something.

If a friendship constantly leaves you second-guessing yourself, that’s a pattern too. And you don’t have to keep solving the same grid if it keeps erasing you.

Anyway, this whole thought spiral just reminded me I still have two unfinished Sudoku Noir puzzles from Copper Clues waiting on my desk. Might as well complete something that actually wants to be solved.

What's a great advice to keep in touch with your long distance friends?

Grade 6

Okay, so, lowkey this grade flew by FAST. Although, it didn’t feel like that at the time. I think around this time a lot of people were getting into social media and phones, so there was always the exclusion with that. Me and my friend had a gizmo watch (pls tell me you know what that is), and my other friends all had phones or an iPad. I was really close to this one girl in my friend group because she was VERY confident and overall I just wanted to be like her. I think I started following her around like a lost puppy because when I later talked to my friends about it now that that girl has moved schools, they said I was like her puppet. I needed someone to rely on and was going through a lot mentally, so this was a way for me to relax, and I mostly relied on her to keep myself socially active and actually having an identity. I will say, I think around the end of 6th grade was when I was introduced to the chaotic world of mental health issues, but I had been a part of it for a while without noticing, I think. Anyway, This girl that I was friends with kept taking on these very unique labels, I think that was for attention, and I’ve recently reconnected with her she has said the same. She was labeling herself as many different sexualities that almost changed every month almost, and labeled herself as a therian and then all of a sudden, the rest of the friend group followed along (me second because I was so desperate for her approval). I now know my TRUE personality, and identity. While at the time I was identifying as bisexual FOR THIS GIRL, I lowkey found out I actually was, because me and my friend watched the movie “The fallout” with Maddie Ziegler and Jenna Ortega, and I think I thought they were REALLY HOT in that movie for probably 3 years now. Anyway, The therian thing got out of hand, and my parents kept questioning if this was actually true or if it was about the girl (obviously I lied). I ended up getting in A LOT of arguments with my friends (forget what they are abt but I’ll probs remember later), and she always sided with me. Sometimes, the fight would be me against her and the rest of the friend group, and she’d say that she sided with me cause she felt bad. That’s when I felt most alone. I missed at least 20 days of school that year, all of them faking sick or actually sick, most of the time because I was too scared to go to school for the smallest reasons, like choosing partners in a class that I had no friends with. It was so bad in 6th grade. Oh my god, I will NEVER choose to go back there AGAIN. Anyway, that’s it for 6th grade. There’s too much to talk about that, so I’m ending this one here. Will make a 7th grade one soon. Pls feel free to share your opinion (although not in need of advice lol just venting for now).

I love lying to myself.

“It’s for me, so I can be happier!”

It’s for him, because I didn’t want it to become toxic.

“I’m not mad!”

I’m pissed, but with myself.

“It’s ok. I don’t care anymore. they’re all in my past!”

My hands are shaking.

It wasn’t you.

It was me.

It was all me.

I’m right here.

Can’t you see I’m waiting?

I took too long.

I ventured to far.

While you were waiting.

So does that make me the monster?

Does that mean I’m in the wrong?

I was the problem, hiding all along.

M y h a n d s a r e s h a k i n g .

If I could take us back, if I could just do that

And write in every empty space the words “I love you” in replace

Then maybe time would not erase me

If you could only know I never let you go

And the words I most regret

Are the ones I never meant to leave

Unsaid Emily

(Clive)

You know exactly who you are. and who I am.

Sapphire is confused. Cartter’s just himself, but honestly worse. Bax is indifferent, they never had any particular affection for anyone they knew. Mushroom has no idea what’s happened. I’m generally indifferent, you never were anything to me. Allen locked front, he doesn’t want to deal with us anymore, but I managed to get him to let me out for a bit. Aether just doesn’t care, he was tired of everyone calling him “unc” anyway. We gained a new one, Carlos, who thinks Allen could’ve handled it better.

(Sapphire)

Clive’s right, I am kinda confused, I don’t know why Allen did this. I just hope… nevermind. Allen wouldn’t want me to say that, and neither would they, I suppose… Cartter would say something, but he’s a little angry with Allen, and trying to hide that anger. What me and Clive are trying to say is don’t be mad at ALL of us, please. This was all Allen’s decision. But… he is happy with his new friends, and glad to see that you guys seem… generally still happy without him, at least on the outside. He read all your posts, and he’s… understandably shaken (I am choosing my words SO CAREFULLY here and still failing at keeping my head cool). His exact words were, “Nothing like going through your ex’s vent posts about you… I feel like an asshole. Probably cause I am, but… y’know.”

Soo here's the thing i was just minding my own buissness when my mind started to overthink and now i want to get it out of my mind people have said to me and i too think that i am really sensitive because i take every sentence into consideration every word their expression what they meant behind it one time my friend no 1 asked my other friend if he could roast me just for fun a few jokes he took a look at me and denied saying i will cry that hurt i just sat there and did nothing like wtf and i used to fight with my bestie everytime she ignored me or talked to someone else now wait before you think i am crazy i am completely fine with her talking to and sitting with someone else but lets be real besties sit together right so i think she was tired of me at that point of life because we are ok but then she swapped my bag with someone else's beside her seat and i said dont do this but she did and we had a huge fight that day . I cry easily in arguments and fail to keep my tears from flowing out i want to be alone but then i hate being lonely now i am trying to keep my emotions in check but i don't think i have gotten better

a note to someone, who I wont mention by name

I'm not even sure they'll see this

you leaving has affected us all

filled us with hatred, remorse

I've stopped eating full meals

started farming attention from anyone and everyone

"I wasn't enough for you"

you were everything to me. and you threw it away and insulted me in the process

but I cant bring myself to hate you

cant bring myself to let it go

I'll stay here

waiting

waiting here

waiting now

waiting

for you

ok?

I feel since becoming a mom, I am more socially awkward in mixed company. I’ve always been social but have really changed in the last year. Mostly because I don’t have much to discuss other than typical baby stories, which I know not everyone is interested in; and that’s ok. I get overwhelmed by the news and social media so I’m not too caught up on the latest. A sweet old lady from church has come alongside me and has really been helping me spiritually. She hosts small gatherings at her house every month with the best layout and I always enjoy myself (I go baby-free). She really has a heart for hosting and everything is so lovely. Lately, I have found myself not really talking to anyone at these lil parties. Not to make it a “high school cafeteria” scene. I think it’s more me. It’s a laid-back environment with other ladies and I can never seem to hold a conversation. I feel myself get awkward and my brain goes blank. I need help. What are good questions to keep the conversation going without having to turn to “how are the kids?” What can I ask when I feel a lull in the conversation? I have had small talk with many of these women before so I would really like to have a “deeper” conversation than just “I’m fine and you? Oh ok bye.