Friendship Stories

Hi everyone, so this is my first time venting here and I don't know if anyone will read this but i have to tell someone.

(sorry if there are any typos or if my english is bad)

So basically I have this online friend who I have been friends with since 2024 (Marking 2 years this month), let's just call him E. He actually asked me to be moots on tiktok because he liked my videos and we were in the same fandom, so of course I said yes (which was a rare moment as I usually never befriended strangers) and we would text each other everday. He referred to me as his longest IBF everytime and so did I. But in 2025 in february we joined a discord server, that our mutual friend (let's call him SLT) introduced us to. Everything was fine and we met some new people. E and I were still very close and talked a lot. But then at some point in late August I was absent for a month till september, because i just did not feel well mentally. In that time, I would sometimes be on discord, but just not say anything. In all that time when I was gone, E never asked if I was okay or if I'm even still alive (I told him a lot about me in the past). E got closer to someone else who I will refer to as D (Who is in the same server btw). E and D texted each other everyday and even had a whole ass streak on tiktok, something E never had with me. E even wrote in his social media bios: "D is such a cool person" like he never said that about me. They played together, talked endlessly. It doesn't bother me of course, if my friends have other friends, but what DOES bother me is that he NEVER, not even once checked up on me and then calls himself my "best friend" If he can't even check up on me, while I'm gone, then what does this say about our friendship? So I was pissed, when I returned and we had fight where he unfollowed me everywhere at some point, but we made up because guilt was starting to eat on me fast and it affected my daily life and concentration at school. When we made up, he said that he didn't block me, because he still wanted me as his friend and to be honest: I get it, I love this idiot so much and he is the bestest and longest online friend I had as well. People in the server we're in even shipped our OC's but after my absent suddenly E and D shipped their OC's together. It annoys me how E started talking to me less and less and he was always like: "I just don't know what to say" Oh but you know what to say when you're with D? D and I are friends too but I lowkey hate him and I hate E too but I don't at the same time. I told E multiple times how I feel but he doesn't really understand it or ignores it. I told him: "If you don't want to be friends anymore it's okay, because not all friendship's hold forever" and he was like: "No, I do wanna stay your friend, I value our friendship alot" that made me SO mad and I asked him why he doesn't talk to me, then unless i talk first, which he just replied with: "idk what to say" like bro just shut the hell up. The fact that this bothers me so much is insane, I find myself getting angry and my mood turns bad to the point where i am mad at people in real life and let my anger out on them. I am actually scared to block E nor do I have the balls to leave the Discord server we're in. I have other friends there but the host (Who i am friends with too) is also friends with me and he will for sure ask why I left. So I don't know what to do because I hate E but I also don't, it just hurts because he does NOT value our friendship like he said he does. A simple "Are you okay?" would've been okay but instead I got replaced. Someone else who I call S, checked up on me despite the fact that he and I aren't even that close. I saw it the moment I deciced to return.

I don't know if anyone can help me but at least I got this heavy burden off my chest, it's been bothering me for months and It makes me sick.

so, I think I might've messed up big time with my friends. we had this plan to hit the mall together last Saturday, like we do sometimes. they count on me to drive, too; I'm kind of the designated driver in our group. but honestly, I kinda blew it off because my girlfriend wanted to hang out. you know how it is, right? I figured a little white lie wouldn't hurt—I told them something came up with my family and I couldn't make it. thought that'd be the end of it.

well, turns out, I wasn't as slick as I thought. one of them happened to see me heading over to my girlfriend's place. total rookie mistake. now I'm stuck wondering if they're pissed at me or what. anyone else ever find themselves in a situation like this, or is it just me? guess I wasn't thinking too much when I ditched them for what was supposed to be a quick hangout. I should've planned better and been honest. talking it over might've been all they needed.

i keep going over it in my head—what can I say to make it right? is it even a big deal or am I blowing this out of proportion? friends are supposed to be chill, right? I mean, we all mess up sometimes, and it's not like I do this all the time. maybe I should just come clean, say sorry, and try to make it up to them. they already know anyway; not like I can pretend nothing happened. tough spot, man.

but then again, think about it. friends who really care will understand if you explain yourself, right? maybe they'll even empathize; we've all had those moments where our plans go sideways. so maybe it's not about whether they hate me, but how I move forward. life throws curveballs, and yeah, I might've dropped the ball here, but that's not the end, you know?!

i swear ive been having like the most SHITTY week possible, i went on a disney trip which was obviously awesome but, i didnt get to do the things i wanted to do AND i cried three times. Not to mention my mom yelled at me because i didnt remember to do my chores the DAY I GOT BACK. Then on monday i woke up, wasn't motivated enough to brush my teeth or wash my face and i felt like a fucking fatass while eating breakfast and left the house late. I got a fucking 50 on my ELA quiz and im so behind on work because of the disney trip. While i was at school, during lunch my friend congragulated himself for not misgendering me when THAT SHOULD BE THE STANDERD YOUVE KNOWN ME SINCE SEPTEMBER AND STILL CALL ME A FUCKING GIRL. Then at recess two of my friends were literally screaming the whole time and i got a really bad headache and one of them screamed right in my face so i yelled at them both to "shut the fuck up for literally five seconds" because i was so overstimulated and my head hurt so much. Then the other one started laughing because there was a special ed kid who heard me curse and went "i heard that yknow," which wouldv'e been funny in ANY OTHER FUCKING SITUATION. And then after i blew up at them they proceeded to ignore me then started again with the screaming. My other friend, who was probably trying to comfort me, touched my foot, WHICH BY THE WAY IS LITERALLY MY ONLY FUCKING BOUNDARY TO NOT TOUCH MY FEET OR MAKE FEET JOKES AROUND ME. It sounds so fucking stupid but back in 5th grade i was sexually assaulted by my older brother. Literally my ONLY boundary btw. So i got mad at her but i knew she was just trying to help. The rest of my school day was much nicer but when i got home i got yelled at a bunch by my mom for forgetting my chores n shit. then i started just chilling for the rest of the day and had a lot of fun talking to my friends, enjoying the company of others right? then i looked in this server im in full of some, weird people. Noted that there was a confessions channel added recently and the mods didnt set it up so they could see submissions. I was just looking for it for fun, maybe to get a laugh or smth THEN I SAW THIS DISGUSTING FUCKING PAGE OF FEET JOKES. LITERALLY THERE ARE ONLY TWO RULES IN THAT SERVER AND ONE OF THEM IS NO FEET JOKES. i genuinly felt sick to my stomach and turns out one of the ppl making the feet jokes was not only the server owner but also literally the one person who always remembered my boundaries. i am so SICK and TIRED of being ignored, forgotten, and not cared about in general. I genuinly just want to die atp.

sometimes i just sit and wonder, why on earth do i keep pushing people away? like, seriously, it's maddening. i've got a bunch of pals, some even from way back in childhood, you know. but then, one day i just wake up and suddenly, poof, I've vanished into thin air, hiding from everyone. what's up with that? we're all human, right? it just doesn't make any sense. i mean, it's not like i don't enjoy chilling with them, sharing a good laugh or grabbing a pizza from that cool joint we all love. on the contrary, those are the moments you live for, aren't they? yet, despite all the fun times, i still find myself creeping back into my solitary shell. maybe it's something about feeling exposed or vulnerable? or is it the overwhelming pressure of maintaining connections? ugh, who knows.

just the other day, my friend max was like, "dude, where have you been hiding? we miss you!" and i couldn't even come up with a solid answer. sure, i threw a lame excuse their way, but deep down, i know it's a load of rubbish. i'm sure some of y'all must have felt this at some point. it's like my brain has a mind of its own, deciding i'm better off alone, like some sort of hermit or something. it's a classic case of self-sabotage, isn't it? could it be fear of getting hurt or maybe just laziness? because let's face it, keeping up with social obligations can be exhausting! but when i take a step back, i have to ask myself, is the solitude really worth losing all those great people who actually care about you?🤷‍♂️

i remember reading somewhere "the hardest prison to escape is in your own mind," and boy, isn't that the truth! i know it's all in my head, but how do you break the cycle? i find myself engaged in these endless arguments with myself, tossing ideas back and forth but getting nowhere. it's like trying to solve a rubik's cube blindfolded—utterly frustrating. do any of you have the secret formula to break the spell? sometimes, i wonder if it's just a phase, like a fad that everyone grows out of, or maybe it's just who i am. but hey, there's got to be hope, right? they say, "where there's a will, there's a way," so i guess i'll just keep searching for that elusive way.

we live in a world where being social is practically part of the human condition, yet here i am fighting tooth and nail against it. is it just me, or does anyone else have that 'meh' feeling about going out sometimes? like, the couch and a good movie just seem way more appealing than a crowded bar with people you barely know. but then again, isn't balance key? i'm not advocating for a total withdrawal from the social scene, but is there a middle ground where one doesn't feel suffocated by interactions or loss at every turn? try as i might to find that sweet spot, i end up in social limbo—caught between wanting to connect and yearning for solitude;

the eternal struggle, am i right? at the end of the day, maybe the trick is admitting there's a problem and then doing something about it. they say the first step is the hardest, but once it's done, you're on your way. so here's to finding that balance and not letting life's complexities drive us into hiding. we all deserve to have those meaningful connections that make life richer, even if it means stepping out of our comfort zones every now and then. life is too short to spend it dwelling in isolation, don't you think? maybe it's time to take max up on that invite and actually show up for once. maybe changing the narrative, changing the script to finally answer this maddening question: why do i isolate myself from everyone?

Today my best friend called me and we were talking. In the middle of the conversation she said, “You know, I even argued with someone for you.” I asked why, what happened. Then she told me that a few days ago she had gone to a famous place for a trip and to visit her institute. She stayed at one of her cousin’s places. While she was there, I had called her, and maybe the phone was on speaker. Out of excitement I told her to bring something for me. Her cousin heard that and said, “Doesn’t she know how to talk? Has she never gone anywhere before?” its not like that i never travelled but only beacuse of my excitement

My best friend stood up for me, but she told me about this today and I’m feeling bad about it.

DEAR GOD WHEN CAN I HAVE A BESTFRIEND THAT CARED ME, I'M SICK OF BEING A EXTRA/LEFTOUT FRIEND I JUST WANT A REALL DAMN BESTFRIEND, AM I THE PROBLEM???, I ALWAYS TREATING MY FRIEND WITH KIDNESS BUT THEY ONLY SAW THE WORST INE ME😭😭😭

I've had multiple close friends before. and we always break up because of me somehow.

here was one time me and two of my close friends were studying. one of them said she dreamt of me dancing, naked. I thought it was hilarious. but when we went to class the next day, mind you, I'm only close to those two I heard everybody laughing at the back and I heard someone laugh out loud talking about my naked body. at that time I was sitting alone to study the other two talking with others. literally the whole class was talking about my naked body I was offended I didn't want to talk to them anymore and blablabla. but they say that im heartless because they cried and said sorry but I won't forgive them

the next one I had another close friend. she accused me of ruining her project then said something that was totally out of her character that really hurt me because she would never say anything like that before. I had this one art book of mine she's also a talented artist so she likes to paint my drawing because she mostly does digital. I would lend her the book so she could color it. I NEVER once asked her myself to paint it but I let her since she wanted to. but then when we fought she ripped all of my drawing which I spent hours on because she said I she colored them so she has a right to take it without compromising with me first. then I cried because all of my hard work was gone just like that. she said I don't deserve to cry and that she's the one who's supposed to be crying

then another one, I started talking to her because she looked lonely then we became close obviously I would share my personal stuff with her but then she told people that I was after her money. the thing is she's never even bought me anything. and I'm the type of person that never asks anyone to pay for me infact I would pay for them. and she's not even that rich.

so is it really my fault, like maybe I'm misunderstanding things or like maybe I'm too sensitive? because everyone seems to think that I'm in the wrong.. there's more actually but I'm not gonna write all my experience am I haha😅

So just for a background on me so it isn’t confusing.

I’m 19F and I’ve been homeschooled since I was in grade 3 till grade 8 so I had no experience with friends. I also have a anxiety disorder and really bad social anxiety

Anywayyyyyy—

To my story.

So I have this friend I’ll call D. Me and him have been friends for over 6 months now. We’re pretty close, hang out atleast once a week, tell each other everything and anything. It’s awesome. Truly.

But I feel like I’m too much. Maybe it’s just my anxiety. Maybe not. That’s why I’m here.

When I make friends I’m pretty quiet and just anxious any little thing I do is gonna make them upset. But once I get comfortable I get abit hyper and sometimes don’t really think about what I say until after the fact.

Like once we were making jokes at a clothing store, I joked about something he’d said the day before and he got really quiet for a few minutes before going back to normal.

I have had alot of friends just up and start ignoring me just cause they can or I become to much I don’t really know cause everyone just says I’m fine.

But it’s gotta be me. Three different people who were in my friend group for over three years don’t just up and leave cause they can.

And I’m scared. Cause I really like D. He’s been my first real friend I’ve had in a long time and I don’t wanna go back to being alone and friendless cause I’m an idiot.

Kinda just ranting at this point but hey that’s what this is for.

I’ll give acouple examples so I’m not asking people to blindly judge me. 😅

1.

Me and D were at a friend of ours house that were not to close with. We got talking about D and his sexuality (which he’s very openly gay) we weren’t being offensive or anything. I made a joke about his crush he had, not insulting just joking about his type (which he’s very openly does to me all the time) and he got really quiet for afew minutes.

2.

I was tutoring a kid of my coworkers and he asked me to call D (he knows him and his mom) I did and we got joking about a funny picture I have of D. He knows I have it, he finds it funny to and even encouraged me to show our close friends. He has funny pictures of me and I allow him to joke about them to. The kid brought up the picture I showed him and his mom and D got really quiet for afew minutes and then went back to normal.

Am I over sharing? Am I being too much? Should I quiet down? Just need some suggestions.

Thanks 🙏

My friend is married and has a wife and a kid. I love him platonically and I've often worried that us being close can be perceived as anything other than pure friendship. I'm a girl for context. We're both in our 20s. I've never been in a relationship, but all my friends including him are aware i'm not interested in dating. I'm also on the asexuality spectrum. Our friendshio has always been pure but things have been getting weird. I wonder if it's my fault. I'm heavily engaged in fandom things whereas he isn't. Anyway he'sknown since forever that I read fanfiction, even messed up kinds. Smut fic makes me fall asleep. Recently, he asked if there was any tropes i liked and I told him. But Idk why despite telling him im on the ace spectrum he kept relating it to me in a sexual way? It made me uncomfortable because i never imagine myself when I'm reading those. They've always been abstract to me. He's also recently been giving out hypothetical if i were single scenarios and I want to run away because it sounds like theres something more to it and I dont want any of that. I cant help but feel mad that he's being like this. I dont want to label but he's been dumping things on me emotionally that he won't dump on his wife, even though I've told him repeatedly he should.

My friend keeps telling me worrying things like sometimes he just wants to kill humself but what's the point and how he's numb and depressed. and same thing I tell him to talk to his wife or go to a therapist. It's been so draining and I'm getting so anxious. Like why are you being like this 😭

I love him dearly as a friend but how he's acting makes him seem like such a sleaze right now (i told him about things i like reading in fiction and he keep relating it to me sexually) and it's frustrating because he doesnt feel safe anymore :(

all my friends are committed and/or got acceptences to colleges that are top 10 or so and im the only one who hasnt gotten any back yet. this wasnt an issue until they started asking me every single day whether i got any decisions or if ill just commit to a state school while talking bad behind my back about how im stupid for months and i didnt say anything. i dont think im stupid, ive worked incredibly hard i have a higher gpa and class rank then all of them and international ecs but ive always tried to actively help them out. today one of them called me to brag and gloat that they got in my dream school that i had gotten deferred from and made sure to reiterate it over and over in a 15 minute call before i had to hang up despite saying congrats genuinually for the first 10 minutes. i feel like an asshole for being upset about this and if i tell anyone how i feel i will be an asshole so im venting here, are my feelings even justified.

i keep losing people and i know the common denominator is me. i can’t retain friends, can’t maintain the relationship lifecycle, can’t even pass the basic onboarding phase without screwing up the deliverables. i ghost when things get real. i overshare when it’s casual. i either underperform emotionally or i flood the pipeline with too much data. it’s inefficient and people churn out. that’s not me being dramatic, it’s just pattern recognition. the metrics are obvious. high initial engagement, sharp drop-off, zero retention. i suck at friendship. i don’t nurture it, don’t water it, don’t even check the soil. then i act surprised when it dies. i tell myself i prefer being alone, that independence is some kind of premium subscription, but it’s mostly ego and poor communication skills. i don’t like small talk, i don’t like constant texting, i don’t like pretending to care about things that feel trivial. but that’s part of the social contract, right? reciprocity, mutual validation, shared maintenance. i don’t comply, so the contract expires. people move on. they should. i’m not exactly a value add 😒. i get defensive fast. i interpret neutral feedback as a threat. i treat vulnerability like a security breach. then i wonder why nobody sticks around. it’s not malicious, it’s just how i’m wired. still, intent doesn’t negate impact. do you ever notice how you sabotage connections before they stabilize? or is that just me being fundamentally defective. i watch others build tight circles, group chats buzzing, weekend plans locked in, and i’m here with archived conversations and muted notifications. i can analyze it like a case study. attachment issues, poor conflict resolution, low tolerance for ambiguity. all textbook stuff. but knowing the theory doesn’t fix the execution. i fail the practical every time. and now i actually need someone. not for entertainment. not for optics. for support. real, boring, consistent support. and i have no one to call 🤷‍♂️.

i pushed everyone to the periphery because closeness felt like liability. proximity increases risk exposure. the closer someone gets, the more surface area there is for disappointment, for judgment, for abandonment. so i preemptively detach. i downgrade people from priority to optional. i delay replies. i cancel plans. i make sarcasm my primary interface. it’s not charming, it’s just rude. i know that. i see it happening in real time and still don’t interrupt the process. it’s like watching a system crash and refusing to patch it. then when i finally hit a low point, when stress spikes and the internal bandwidth collapses, i look around and there’s no redundancy, no backup server, no human failover. just me and my stupid pride. i need a friend right now and that feels pathetic to admit. not a crowd. not followers. one person. someone stable. someone who won’t interpret my silence as hostility but also won’t enable it. someone who calls me out without turning it into a performance review. is that too much to ask? or am i the unreasonable variable in every equation. i don’t blame the people who left. they optimized for their own wellbeing. that’s rational. i would’ve done the same in their position. but here’s the part that pisses me off: i actually care. i just don’t express it in a user friendly way. my empathy is clunky. my timing is off. my tone is sharp. i default to critique instead of comfort. and yeah, that makes me hard to keep around. i can admit that without self pity. this isn’t a sob story. it’s a status report. current state: isolated. root cause: poor relational management. desired outcome: one solid friend. i don’t need daily affirmation. i don’t need dramatic loyalty vows. i need consistency. shared silence. mutual respect. basic human presence. and i don’t know how to build that without eventually screwing it up again. maybe the real issue is that i treat friendship like a transaction instead of a process; maybe i expect immediate ROI instead of long term investment. either way, i’m here. blunt. aware. alone. so tell me, how do you keep people close without suffocating them or pushing them away. or do you just accept that some of us aren’t built for connection and move on.

Friendship problems don’t always come from fights.

Sometimes they come from success.

Or insecurity.

Or unspoken competition.

You notice it in subtle comparisons. In jokes that sting a little. In the way celebration feels slightly uncomfortable.

I used to ignore those signals. Now I don’t. Patterns matter. Whether it’s in people or in logic puzzles, repetition tells you something.

If a friendship constantly leaves you second-guessing yourself, that’s a pattern too. And you don’t have to keep solving the same grid if it keeps erasing you.

Anyway, this whole thought spiral just reminded me I still have two unfinished Sudoku Noir puzzles from Copper Clues waiting on my desk. Might as well complete something that actually wants to be solved.

What's a great advice to keep in touch with your long distance friends?

Grade 6

Okay, so, lowkey this grade flew by FAST. Although, it didn’t feel like that at the time. I think around this time a lot of people were getting into social media and phones, so there was always the exclusion with that. Me and my friend had a gizmo watch (pls tell me you know what that is), and my other friends all had phones or an iPad. I was really close to this one girl in my friend group because she was VERY confident and overall I just wanted to be like her. I think I started following her around like a lost puppy because when I later talked to my friends about it now that that girl has moved schools, they said I was like her puppet. I needed someone to rely on and was going through a lot mentally, so this was a way for me to relax, and I mostly relied on her to keep myself socially active and actually having an identity. I will say, I think around the end of 6th grade was when I was introduced to the chaotic world of mental health issues, but I had been a part of it for a while without noticing, I think. Anyway, This girl that I was friends with kept taking on these very unique labels, I think that was for attention, and I’ve recently reconnected with her she has said the same. She was labeling herself as many different sexualities that almost changed every month almost, and labeled herself as a therian and then all of a sudden, the rest of the friend group followed along (me second because I was so desperate for her approval). I now know my TRUE personality, and identity. While at the time I was identifying as bisexual FOR THIS GIRL, I lowkey found out I actually was, because me and my friend watched the movie “The fallout” with Maddie Ziegler and Jenna Ortega, and I think I thought they were REALLY HOT in that movie for probably 3 years now. Anyway, The therian thing got out of hand, and my parents kept questioning if this was actually true or if it was about the girl (obviously I lied). I ended up getting in A LOT of arguments with my friends (forget what they are abt but I’ll probs remember later), and she always sided with me. Sometimes, the fight would be me against her and the rest of the friend group, and she’d say that she sided with me cause she felt bad. That’s when I felt most alone. I missed at least 20 days of school that year, all of them faking sick or actually sick, most of the time because I was too scared to go to school for the smallest reasons, like choosing partners in a class that I had no friends with. It was so bad in 6th grade. Oh my god, I will NEVER choose to go back there AGAIN. Anyway, that’s it for 6th grade. There’s too much to talk about that, so I’m ending this one here. Will make a 7th grade one soon. Pls feel free to share your opinion (although not in need of advice lol just venting for now).

I love lying to myself.

“It’s for me, so I can be happier!”

It’s for him, because I didn’t want it to become toxic.

“I’m not mad!”

I’m pissed, but with myself.

“It’s ok. I don’t care anymore. they’re all in my past!”

My hands are shaking.

It wasn’t you.

It was me.

It was all me.

I’m right here.

Can’t you see I’m waiting?

I took too long.

I ventured to far.

While you were waiting.

So does that make me the monster?

Does that mean I’m in the wrong?

I was the problem, hiding all along.

M y h a n d s a r e s h a k i n g .

If I could take us back, if I could just do that

And write in every empty space the words “I love you” in replace

Then maybe time would not erase me

If you could only know I never let you go

And the words I most regret

Are the ones I never meant to leave

Unsaid Emily