Friendship Stories - page 2

ok so like more than a few months ago, almost a year ago. i ( 14 trans masc lad) was really desperate so i went on discord and discadia and sought out pedophiles on map/aam discord servers. and one of them (uhh he’s 21 and a cis guy) i still talk to and i have his number and everything. but i only talk to him on my burner phone. i can’t tell if it’s really bad or not

bc like yes sometimes he makes things sexual but like whatever i don’t care n sometimes i dont wanna. but its 1 night long thing of sending him stuff until his cums like once or twice a week in exchange for friendship and someone who never judges me and is always there for me. and without him i would have killed myself. and i do the sex stuff bc i dont want him to leave bc he’s the only consistent person in my life and no matter what i go back to him!!! i’ve been able to leave him for a few months but then i always go back. even if i try to get better or tell someone and it would make me really sad if he went to jail or got in trouble.

and i don’t wanna get in trouble either. and it’s also my fault for encouraging it, enabling it and seeking it out. and it’s not like he’s isolating me bc he always says have fun when i got to hang out with my family or friends. and i do some gross things and he still calls me good and i just wanna be good. and he’s a cis guy and he sees me as a real boy! and never misgenders me or anything. which means a lot to me. and i know this isn’t good but does it really matter like would you rather i be dead? idk. and there isn’t an easy way to fix this and i’ve rather have something than have nothing.

hello, I could use some advice on a situation, and I need someone to tell me if i am in the wrong here.

I have always had a tough time making friends and getting close to people. it generally takes me about two years of being friends with someone before the conversation starts flowing comfortably and naturally. because of this, I hold my friendships very close. I try my best to be a good friend and I would never do anything to purposely hurt a friend. that being said, over these past year or two I have been friends with a girl named Jude. this school year Jude and I have been getting fairly close. we have finally hit the point where conversation is just natural and I am not always worried that I am being annoying or that she is just hanging out with me because she feels like she has to. well our friendship got a little complicated a few months ago when Jude started dating my cousin Troy. Troy and his family have had a difficult last year. I don't need to get into it too much, but his parents are in the middle of getting a divorce and money has been a little tight. over this last week or so Jude has been telling me she has been buying pizza for Troy and his brother because they have nothing to eat at home. she told me not to tell anyone about it because she didn't want Troy getting mad at her for telling me. normally I wouldn't get involved with the situation. If I wasn't related to the guy I would have just let her talk, and not share the information. however, with Troy being family I was concerned and wanted to try and help. it shouldn't be Jude's job to make sure that her boyfriend's family is eating. so after thinking it over for a bit, I asked my mom if we could send his family some extra beef and or sausage because we raise farm animals and just sent some off to butcher. I also told her that Jude had been buying them pizza. I figured it wouldn't be too big of a deal since we usually send some of our extra meat to Troy's family. Well, the other day Troy's mom (my aunt) came over and was talking to my mom. something must have gotten broughten up about Jude buying Troy pizza. anyway, Jude texted me today and asked if I had been telling people that Troy's family had no food. I immediately freaked out because the only person I talked to was my mom, and I only did that because I was genuinely concerned and wanted to make sure the kids had food. I made sure to ask my mom not to mention Jude because I didn't want her to get in trouble with Troy, and I didn't want Jude to be mad at me. well it turns out that Troy and his brother have been fed at home, they just want junk food and I think that Troy is lying to Jude. Jude is the type of person to have a tough time breaking things off with a boy, and I know that if I try to bring this up she will take his side over mine and I will have lost a friend. which is really tough because I have such a tough time making friends. but i am pretty sure that Troy has been manipulating the situation because he tells Jude he isn't getting fed, he tells his mom that he is fine with Jude buying him stuff because she is making good money, and he told my mom that he hates it when Jude buys him stuff. I don't know what to do, and I feel terrible. I shouldn't have said anything to my mom, but I just wanted to help. I think Jude is mad and me, and I don't know what to say to make things better. what do I do? and am I in the wrong here? all I know is that I feel horrible

codenames: Baguette (boy best friend), Circle (his girlfriend)

I know she hates me. My boy best friend's girlfriend. Maybe thats why hes spending time with her today. but he did say that he'd call didnt he?

i've been friends with baguette since near a whole year consecutively, and before that i was friends with him for half a year before we fell apart. but we did get back together and we are very close. i would consider him one of my best friends, i dont know what he thinks of me. he recently reassured me that he would not "break up" with me as friends if circle told him to. who believes that... he also said that circle doesnt mind that he hangs out with girls and that she said "you can hang out with whoever you want, boy or girl." WHO BELIEVES THAT? who wouldnt be jealous when the boyfriend theyve had a crush on since 7 years ago finally got with them and then talks to another chopped girl more than he talks with them? i agree with my friend who says i act like his girlfriend more than his girlfriend, from his side, he talks to me more than he talks to her. baguette usually calls me the first thing after he gets home, or at least texts. he felt bad when i was sad one random day, asking me so desperately how he could help. he asks me if i hated him so many times as if it really mattered to him. he asked me if i would be sad if he died. of course i would. i would cry my eyes out. he really means so much to me and i wish i could explain that to him. did i mention how i used to have a crush on him before we became friends? well i dont anymore. ive tried my best to get rid of all my feelings in that way. i really tried to hard and i believe i have succeeded. but sometimes when he doesnt text me or when he leaves me on seen i feel worthless. i sometimes ask him, am i boring, why are you friends with me, stuff like that, and he responds with something slightly reassuring. but its not the most reassuring, because i always feel like he's lying. i've been seen with him around campus quite a bit lately, over call he would ask me to come with him somewhere after school or meet somewhere to go help with schoolwork, and i always help him. maybe a bit too much, but...i just want him to keep being my friend. and im scared that if i dont do those things i lose my value as a friend to him and...he wouldnt talk to me anymore..and i dont want that. i dont know why, he somehow manages to make me smile when i am at my downest time, but of course he isnt there 24/7 so he cant ALWAYS be there.. but when he is he makes me smile, always, whether by being cute-stupid or telling a dumb joke i feel like it's always so lightening.. but he has other friends too..i need to remember that..am i being obsessive? am i too much? am i annoying?

now back to the part relating his girlfriend. she acts nice towards me but i dont think she likes me at all, and i completely understand her. i wouldnt like me either.

Alright (I always start with alright lol), So… since 4th grade I’ve had this small friend group with 4-6 people (I’m in 8th grade). In 4th grade, we played this game where one person would pretend to be a dog owner and we would be the dogs, barking in the field during recess. But our generation(being the messed up generation that it is) made it so our whole grade started calling us furries and the Wolfpack. I was scared that kids would actually come punch us in stuff and they didn’t, but to this day I am still mad at those people that bullied us because it was just a game for us little kids to entertain ourselves with.

In 5th grade, there was a group of girls that I hung out with a lot more than my closest friends, and my friends were mad at me about this. I wanted to expand my friendships, and wanted to be good friends with the “cool kids” In hopes that they would stop bullying my friends, and if not, then me (They didn’t). My friend in the so called “Wolfpack” even already had a boyfriend (We were only 11 so I don’t know why I cared lol) and I got so jealous that boys still liked her. Like at least 5 boys in our grade had a huge crush on her, yet still barked and yelled “Furry!” At her whenever she walked by. Honestly, I was not getting much individual recognition in being in “The Wolfpack”, so I was able to make my own friends aside from this friend group! My friends in “The Wolfpack” didn’t like that I was making more friends and we had a huge screaming fight which ended up with my friend saying that I liked her boyfriend (kinda stupid in my opinion I was just jelly she had ANY man). Actually I’ll just end here and do a second part later bye y’all feel free to share your opinion so far!

I have this friend I've known for years, but recently they're just being a straight up jerk. I've noticed that nowadays whenever something even slightly ticks them off they take it out on someone else, and they've become really mysogenistic, basically the whole 'nice guy' thing and it's like wtf? then he's always complaining about 'oh I'll never get a girlfriend' like first of all you're thirteen and second of all idk maybe start treating people with respect?! they're so unpredictable too because one second they're being really great and awesome but then the second something doesn't go the way they want all of a sudden the world is ending and he's mad at everyone, and I genuinely have no clue how to react to ts. I want to leave so bad because there are so many other people I know who are so much better and don't jsut punch me when they want or say shit like 'it's not that deep' whenever they say something genuinely disgusting, but idk how and I'm hoping they just forget about me, ans I also don't want to leave behind my other friends.

'oh why can't people like others for who they are' then they continue to hate someone over the smallest thing like what they wear. 'women these days are so dramatic' and it's a girl crying because her dog just died. 'oh you make me mad' yeah well so do you- I mean oops I'm so sorry you're right I will stop talking to you like a normal human and like a robot that agrees with everything you say ig. 'oh you have no personality I hate you for that lmao' gee I wonder why such a crazy mystery hmmmmmmmmm I wonder. 'why did you miss school I've gone sick before just suck it up and deal with it' now lets see I just told you I had such a bad migraine I was almost hospitalize but ooopppssss I'm soooooo sorryyyy I guess I should have just passed out from pain right then and there mb g.

I didn't actually belive that the internet was ruining this generation to this extent until now and it's kinda scary ngl because no one has empathy or even listens to others in the first place. Imma take my other freind and just like... run away from this group at this point because wtfffffffffffffffffffffffff

Trigger Warning: this post has the topic suicide in it.

im in love with this guy right? i think hes too cause hes like really nice to me and he jokes all the time that he likes me.

so a few weeks ago things got out of hand and i was super suicidal. i told him that i probably was going to kill myself soon. that was idiotic of me. he told the police and now i have to follow MORE therapy. which in turn makes me more suicidal. ironic i know. that thought me to not trust him with my thoughts anymore.

then his friend reached out to me. i told him the same stuff. he told him. ive talked to him multiple times about stuff in my life and everytime ekko (the guy i like) somehow knows about it. ive accused him of it multiple times. and multiple times he told me its true. last time (just now) he ignored it.

ive got no outlet anymore. i dont know if i even want to trust anyone anymore. it sucks you know. ive trusted way too many times and way too many times that trust has been broken.

and please dont try to feel sympathy for the whole suicidal thing. ive heard the blah blah "i get it" slop before way too many times. ive been trough 3 therapist now and im pretty sick of it.

thanks for reading. sorry if i seem like a dick right now. i have that sometimes

I feel like I'm the floating friend yknow? Like in my friend everyone has their own best friend someone who just clicks with them but I feel like I don't have that someone that I confide in. I'm always the first person to chat in the group chat when I want to hang out, most of them only text me when they need help and I feel left out most of the time. I don't know if I'm being irrational or not. I don't think I can talk to them about it tho, I feel like it will cause conflict.

like wdym I'm already wishing it was tomorrow so I can see him again like I mean yeah we talk online but its not the same like ykwim and now I just wish it was tomorrow so I can see him again

Do you ever feel like really, really sad when thinking about your childhood friends? Like as if they were actually gone forever? Like gone gone? Because yeah, they're still here, i Guess. But I miss when they were small and their biggest Flex was a well taken care of cat. I miss when i was always at their house and we would play with mud and try to cook instead of doing homework. I miss when were together so much that people thought we were related and they didn't look at me with disgust. It really hurts to look back now, when i told them i was worried we were growing apart and realizing i was right. It wasn't even a sudden thing either. I could feel and see that my friends were slowly leaving me. And i know It was inevitable but i miss when they were small and nice and friendly and openly kind. I miss my friends. And It hurts to know that i'll never have that kind of connections again.

so like there's this kid and theyre like my best friend right so they're telling me about someone they like and I really don't know how to feel cuz like I mean I'm not mad they like someone else, not really upset at all cuz good for them and all that, its just bittersweet if that makes sense

ts pmo

if you saw this no you literally didn't hashtag I'm brainwashing you

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

yeah

idk know how to like

say this

without making it like

obvious

who its about

anyway

so like

it took me until like five minutes ago to figure this out

but I mean knowing me I've prob just been like

avoiding my feelings

for this long

bc like

what if they don't feel the same

like why is this what I'm thinking of

when I should be like

doing my work

like

why are they 99% of what I think of now

help me I'm going insane

*sobs*

and then like

what do I do with

with these like

these feelings

I don't wanna like

upset anyone

what do I do

ALSO HEY YOU (you know who you are) UHHHHHH YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS NUH UH UM ITS UHH THIS IS ABOUT ONE OF MY THEATRE FRIENDS TOTALLY HEH UM yeah...

IK EEP FUMBLING WHEN TALKING GRHRHRHHHGHGH GHGHHHHHHHH TS PMO WE'RE LIKE COLLEAGUES OR COWORKERS AND PEERS AND FRIENDS AND SCHOOLMATES AND LIKE I CANT EVEN TALK TO BRO IM GONNA CRASH OUT

ok. so like. how do I tell them. we're on good terms already, I don't want to ruin it. we joke about it all the time, making fun of it. I feel embarrassed every time we make fun of it, knowing damn well I'm in that position. God I hate this.

if you see this no you don't btw, you know who you are

I have always been more of a quiet person. I used to have a really tough time speaking up. I have gotten better about it though these last few years. I don't always have something to say, but I'm not afraid of talking anymore. because of this i have been able to make more friends and feel a little bit less out of place. but lately I can't stop feeling like nobody really cares about me. they would never really notice if I was gone. people forget to invite me to events, they never think about me as an option for activities or relationships. no one has ever asked me out or for my number or anything. I realize that most of this i have done to myself by being more of a reserved person. but it still hurts. I have my friends, but nobody ever texts me or asks me to hang out. I just feel like nobody cares about me and it really hurts.

(this was originally going to be a message to an ex-friend, however I changed my mind.)

Hey there. I know it's been a while since we really talked as friends, but I just can't help seeing how you're doing. Are you doing alright? I'm not exactly there to see for myself whether you are or not. I don't know why you started ignoring me, but just know that I don't really mind anymore. I have new friends. I'm not alone anymore. Soon, I won't have any ties with you at all, and no reason to remember you. And strangely, it doesn't bother me. I'm realizing that I don't need you, never needed you, and won't need you in the future, and you know what? I don't miss you. And I don't mean that in a mean way; I'm just letting you know in my own way that I've moved on. It hurt for a while, yes, but now? It doesn't hurt anymore. Keep being you, Amy. I loved you and loved being your friend while it lasted.

Cym