Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 70

I love my job. After I finished maternity leave I looked for a job that I could turn into career down the line and a place I would be happy at vs switching jobs over and over for years to come. The job is great, the benefits are amazing. They even sent us on a spa day three months into me working there. Now I’ve been there almost 2 years and the employees still barely talk to me, they don’t invite me to hang out outside of work, and they don’t even notify me of changes they make to MY daily schedule.

**Note, I’ve been promoted twice since I started working there because my main focus is to learn, do the job and do it correctly. Other employees, as previously mentioned, my plans to hang out rather than doing the job.

Now we have a new doctor (AKA) boss to which I am the direct assistant to. The office is throwing her a welcome party and it’s not mandatory for me to go but it would look weird for me not to considering my position.

The thing is, this is a casual, after work, off the clock event that they’ve invited the office and their families to. I don’t want to go. I don’t and won’t feel comfortable sitting around for three to five hours with an office full of people that don’t like me. I’m allowed to bring my two year old but I can’t bring a friend or sibling or grandparent to help me watch him while I mingle (which is the purpose of the event). When they said we can bring family, they mean spouse or significant other , neither of which I have.

Am I wrong for not wanting to attend this party??

My dad’s 66th birthdayy is tomorrow and my siblings and I (4 total) were planning to go out to dinner with him tonight to celebrate. Growing up, we never went out to restaurant or even got take out. Once we hit our teens we didn’t even eat at the dinner table together or at the same time. Now we’re all grown, with me being the youngest (30) and we’re trying to do things together that we never did such as a family dinner.

My dad is notorious for catching an attitude leading up to a holiday or occasion. I’m talking birthdays, Christmas, ground hogs day, the last day to do taxes. If it’s in a calendar, he automatically catches a mood at least two days prior to the day and holds it.

Somehow I was placed in charge of arranging this dinner and I was told to invite my oldest brother (my mother’s first born) and his wife to the dinner. This was done prior to the attitude. Yesterday, I get the message from my sister that he’s In a mood and going on a mumbling rant about whatever and I would most likely want to cancel dinner. I didn’t, I held out to figure out what was going on.

Now here we are todayy, there’s animosity in the air, he locked up in a room all day not speaking to anyone. So I have to text my oldest brother that we’re cancelling. — But seriously. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to tell my brother that we can’t have dinner because my dad doesn’t know how to act. Should we have gone without him??

I’m a theory year old female and I have what I call a best lesbian (best friend lesbian). She cute and all and I think females in general are nice looking and I find attraction to many of them. But I’m not interested in anything further. I don’t feel the same pull for physical contact with females (give or take) that I do with males. But I have found over the years that I find more and more women beautiful. I’ve even stared at a few butts. Is there a label for me?? I think I’m still heterosexual but I’m not denying myself.

My son’s father and I began dating in 2019. We were happy, no fights. I got pregnant and had our son in September of 2022. I broke up with him shortly after the birth because I didn’t want to raise two kids if I only gave birth to one. He’s a decent father, I can’t say that he doesn’t love our son and that he won’t do anything for him. My issue with him is his parenting style. He doesn’t really know what to do, and I can’t fault him for that because we’re both figuring things out as we go.

Our son lives with me full time. He has never had an overnight sleepover at his dad’s . I arrange all childcare while we work. I buy all of his clothes, food, diapers, arrange all play dates, doctors appointments, etc. I have the insurance, i paid for any and all cribs, pack n plays, car seats, etc. This isn’t to say that his dad isn’t supportive and won’t provide financially. I’m certain that if I asked, he would give (I just don’t ask). The problem is, he doesn’t think about any of this stuff. So why should I let him sleep over.

**Backstory** He lived with his parents when we were dating and just lived out last November. He never told me he moved. I found out because he posted something on social media and my brother privately texted me asking when he moved and I knew NOTHING about it. And I know there’s a new girlfriend in the mix that he’s probably living with because he accidentally called me her name when we were on a family ice cream date together. I’m not stupid, I can put two and two together.

Am I wrong for not allowing my two year old to not sleep over at his dad’s house when I don’t even know where he lives or who he’s living with?? (He did give me the address finally but I haven’t been over to check the place out).

I have no idea what to do. Like, I swear, my brain has been looping this same question over and over for weeks, and I still don’t have an answer. Do I break up with him? Or do I stay? I keep going back and forth. One minute I feel so sure that I need to end it, that I can’t do this anymore, that I’m just not happy. But then the second I actually think about saying the words out loud, I freak out. What if I regret it? What if this is a huge mistake? What if I let go of something that I’ll never find again? I feel like no matter what I do, I’m gonna end up hurting—either I stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right anymore, or I leave and then spend months wondering if I made the worst decision of my life. And yeah, okay, maybe I’m being dramatic, but it feels dramatic. It feels like my whole world is balancing on this one choice and no matter which way I go, I’m gonna mess something up.

It’s not like he’s a bad boyfriend. He’s actually really sweet. He tells me he loves me, he texts me good morning and good night, he’s never done anything to hurt me. So why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like something is missing? I keep thinking that maybe I just got too used to him, that maybe I’m just bored, and that’s a me problem, not a him problem. But at the same time, shouldn’t I be excited to be with my boyfriend? Shouldn’t I want to text him, to spend time with him, to tell him things? Lately, I just… don’t. I see his name pop up on my phone and instead of getting happy, I feel tired. And I hate that. Because he doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who isn’t fully into it. But then I think about actually telling him, about actually breaking up, and it hurts. Like, I can already imagine his face, the way he’ll look at me, like I just shattered his whole world. And the idea of being the reason he’s sad? The reason he’s heartbroken? I don’t think I can handle that.

And then there’s the whole what if I never find someone else? part. I mean, sure, I’m only 15, I know that logically there are gonna be other people in my life. But what if no one else ever treats me as good as he does? What if I’m just being selfish and expecting some unrealistic movie kind of love that doesn’t even exist? What if I leave and then realize I just ruined something that could have lasted forever? And then I think about being single and it terrifies me. Not just the being alone part, but the whole starting over part. The thought of having to meet someone new, go through all the awkward first conversations, figuring out if we even like each other, getting used to a whole different person’s way of texting, of talking, of being… it sounds exhausting. And at least with my boyfriend, I know him. I know how he is, I know how to be around him, I know he loves me. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe I don’t need butterflies or whatever, maybe I just need to appreciate what I have. But what if I’m just forcing myself to stay because I’m scared of leaving? And if that’s the case, isn’t that kinda worse?

I wish someone could just tell me what to do. I wish I could fast forward to a year from now and see if I’m happier if I break up with him or if I’ll just be sitting there, crying over what I lost. But I don’t get to know that. I just have to decide. And I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’m ready. But how long can I keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not?

Ugh, this is so annoying. I swear, I don’t even want to think about him but my brain just won’t shut up. Like, I’ll be doing the most random thing—scrolling on my phone, eating cereal, literally trying to do anything else—and boom, there he is. Just pops in my head like some kinda glitch. And it’s not even always something big, sometimes it’s just like… the way he smiled that one time, or how he said my name in this certain way that made my stomach do that dumb little flip thing. And then I sit there, thinking about it, replaying it in my head like a freaking movie, like why am I like this??? And the worst part is, I don’t even know if he likes me back. Like, yeah, he talks to me, yeah, he laughs at my jokes (even when they’re not funny lol) but does that actually mean anything? Or is he just nice?? I hate this, I hate not knowing, I hate how one person can just exist and suddenly I have zero control over my own thoughts anymore. Like bro, chill, I’m tryna live my life, not sit here daydreaming about some guy who probably isn’t even thinking about me rn.

And then there's the overthinking part. Like, every time we talk, I analyze everything. Did he mean something when he texted first? Why did he take five hours to respond? Did he look at me longer than normal today, or am I just insane? Like I swear, my brain should come with an off switch. And don’t even get me started on social media. One second I’m just casually checking my feed, next thing I know, I’m on his profile, scrolling waaaaay too far down, like some kinda detective, tryna figure out who that girl in his comment section is and why she’s reacting to his stories with heart emojis. And then I get mad at myself cuz why do I even care?? It’s not like we’re dating, it’s not like I have some claim over him, but still, the idea of him liking someone else makes me feel weird. And it’s so dumb because if I just knew he liked me back, all of this would be so much easier. But nope, instead I’m just stuck in this cycle of thinking, overthinking, trying to ignore him, failing miserably, then thinking about him even more. It’s honestly exhausting. Like, how do people just not care? How do people just move on with their lives and not spend half their time obsessing over every little thing?? Cuz at this point, I feel like my brain is basically holding me hostage, and the only way out is if he either confesses his undying love for me (lol as if) or I somehow figure out how to delete my feelings. Either way, I just wish I could stop thinking about him for like, one second. Is that too much to ask???

You hear it all the time—“Don’t mix work and friendship.” “Coworkers are not your friends.” But honestly? I didn’t believe it. I thought I was different. I thought I had built real relationships at my job, that the people I worked with had my back. Turns out, I was an idiot. Because the second things got complicated, the second there was a choice between loyalty to me or loyalty to him, guess what they picked? Not me.

It all started with a post. Just one stupid post. I wasn’t even that harsh, just some light criticism, some questioning about the way things were being handled at the biggest electric car company in America. You know, open discussion—the kind of thing we were all encouraged to have. Or so I thought. But the second my words hit that cursed blue bird app, the tone changed. The same people who laughed in the break room, who shared memes about all the chaos, who agreed with me in private DMs, suddenly weren’t on my side anymore. They saw my post, they saw my name attached to it, and instead of scrolling past or maybe even messaging me like, “Dude, maybe delete that,” they went straight to reporting me.

Next thing I know, I’m pulled into a “meeting.” No warning, no real discussion. Just straight to the point. “You’ve been engaging in behavior that is not aligned with company values.” Oh, company values? You mean the same company values that encouraged employees to always challenge the status quo, to be “bold” and “speak their minds”? Guess that only applies when you're kissing the ring, huh? Because the minute you question the self-proclaimed genius billionaire, suddenly you're not bold—you're a problem.

I sat there, staring at them, wondering if this was a joke. I mean, I wasn’t the only one complaining. We all talked about the unrealistic deadlines, the insane pressure, the way everything had to revolve around one man’s impulsive tweets. I just happened to be dumb enough to say it where he could see it. And my friends—the ones who shared my frustrations, who vented right along with me—what did they do? They snitched. They forwarded my post, flagged it, escalated it. Why? To score points? To save their own asses? Maybe they thought throwing me under the bus would make them look like good little soldiers, obedient workers in the empire of a guy who calls himself a free speech absolutist but fires anyone who dares criticize him. Maybe they were just scared.

I walked out of that building with a cardboard box and a pit in my stomach, not because I lost the job (honestly, I’d been thinking about leaving anyway), but because I realized how fake it all was. The inside jokes, the happy hours, the shared eye-rolls in meetings—none of it meant anything when it came down to it. The moment things got real, they chose the billionaire overlord with weird Nazi fanboy energy over the guy they used to grab lunch with.

And I get it. People gotta protect themselves. No one wants to be on the wrong side of the guy who reinstates fascist accounts on social media and spends more time posting memes than running a company. But damn, I thought at least one of them would’ve had my back. Instead, they smiled to my face, then sent my post straight up the chain. So yeah, lesson learned. Coworkers are not your friends. No matter how much you laugh together, no matter how many times you grab a beer after work, at the end of the day, when it’s you or them, they’ll choose themselves every time. And I won’t make that mistake again.

F**k you, Elon & my team 😘

I’m young, but not young enough where I’m selfish or make fun of kids. But I’m not grown enough to do things without being told “your way to young to be even thinking about doing something like that”. But I have a massive heart. I really hate it sometimes, for example, this one kid, small about 4’11 maybe shorter, super skinny, red head, loves dinosaurs and kid things, (he’s around 11-13) his heart definitely hasn’t even been scratched. Super sweet kid, mostly quiet, reminds me of my younger siblings. I was volunteering at a school musical and he was there. First couple days he didn’t have a lunch or dinner ( the musical stayed from 3pm-7pm and dinner was at 630pm and we left at 7pm) he always looked so hungry and was always eyeing everyone’s food like he was starving, I felt so bad I started crying and I felt so bad even though I had nothing to do with it. Then his parent didn’t pick him up (I leave at 8pm) and I felt so bad. Like my heart was aching so badly for him. He looked so sad and disappointed that no one picked him up yet. I feel so bad for him and want to help him or eat lunch with him or get him lunch. But I act all tough infront of my friends and I just can’t bring myself to help or do anything. He’s a super sweet kid and I just wanna give him a huge hug.

man, i dont even kno what to say. like seriously, nothing matters anymore. i wake up, i do what i gotta do, i go to sleep, repeat. its all the same, every day. nuthing exciting, nuthing different, just the same boring ass life over and over. people talk about goals n dreams n all that bs but like, what for?? u work ur ass off just to be tired, just to pay bills, just to end up at the same place. so why even bother. i tried to care, i really did. but caring just make things worse bc u get disapointed, u get hurt, u get stress over things that probly dont even matter in the long run. so i stopped. now i just do what i need to do to get thru the day, nothing more, nothing less.

ppl say oh u just need to find somthing u love but what if i dont love anything. like fr, theres nothing that make me wanna get up in the morning. job? boring. school? waste of time. hobbies?? dont even have those anymore. use to try stuff, sports, music, even stupid things like learning to cook or whatever, but i sucked at all of it so whats the point. why keep trying when u kno u gonna fail. and dont even tell me "just work harder," bc working harder dont mean sh*t if u have no talent in the first place. so yeah, i gave up. not like in a dramatic way, just like, i dont put energy into anything anymore.

i see ppl all excited about stuff, making plans, talking about there future like they actually got things figured out. good for them i guess. but i dont see that happening for me. future just seem like a long ass road of more of the same bs. wake up, work, sleep, repeat. its like life is some game i never wanted to play but im stuck here anyway. so now i just stoped pretending. stoped acting like i care when i really dont. maybe one day somthing will change, maybe not. honestly? dont care either way.

Me and my gf have been together for almost a year. But honestly for the past few months shes been treating me like we’re just friends again.

It’s happened before and Ive talked to her about it but after that all our conversations just felt forced. Like she was just forcing herself to talk to me. I know she loves me and i love her but i feel like she’s not taking our relationship seriously.

She’s talked about getting married and whatnot but it genuinely feels like she’s only affectionate and talkative whenever she feels like it. Whenever we text its not the same like how we used to, the conversations are dry and boring and there’s no actual conversation going on.

I remember when we first started dating i couldn’t stop smiling and i was so happy that we finally got together but now it feels like we’ve just gotten used to each other and we’re just normal friends again.

Any advice?

so I like this boy named henry but I don't know if he likes me back and i wanna ask him but I don't know because so theirs this guy and i'ma just call him j and him and his friends are known for telling people that person a like person b when it's not true. so I'm was walking to my class (keep in mind I have every class with j but I don't have any with henry) and j called my name so I turned around to see what he wanted and he asked me if I wanted put on's with henry but I was already upset with him(J) so I had rolled my eyes and said yeah but as I said that henry started say that he doesn't get down like that but i kinda ignored it and continued walking to class. so, after a few minutes I was already in class but j wasn't so after a few more minutes j walks in the class and tells me that henry said that he was ready when I was and he wanted to know if I knew if I could cook but I was still mad @ j so I said I'm fucking Hispanic why the fuck would I not know how to cook. so fast forward to like maybe a few days later i was outside my school and henry was standing with his friends infront of me and I look up and he was already looking @ me, and we kept eye contact for maybe a second or two then we both look away. so, moving on to lunch time and I told some of the girls @ my lunch table and then we went to go get lunch and they kept telling me that he was looking over here (the lunch line we were standing in) then when we sat down, they said that we was looking @ me a lot. so again, fast forward to today and it friday and i wanna ask him but im scared

i used to tell myself it was just a phase. that one day, i’d meet the right person, and everything would just click like it does in the movies. but here i am, years later, still alone, still wondering if maybe this isn’t a phase at all—maybe i’m just gonna be single forever. it’s not like i haven’t tried. i’ve gone on dates, i’ve downloaded the apps, i’ve forced myself into awkward conversations with people who i knew, deep down, weren’t the right match. but it never works out. either i don’t feel anything, or they don’t. or worse, we pretend for a while, but it just slowly fades into nothing. and every time it happens, i start wondering if maybe the problem isn’t them. maybe it’s me.

maybe i’m just not built for relationships. i see other people fall in love so easily, like it’s just something that happens to them. they meet someone, sparks fly, they get into a relationship without overthinking every little detail. meanwhile, i analyze everything. do i even like them? or do i just like the idea of not being alone? will this feeling last, or am i just forcing something because i think i should? and then there’s the other side of it—the fear. the fear of getting attached, of trusting someone, of letting them in just to have them leave. i tell myself i want love, that i want to experience all the things other people talk about, but every time i get close to it, i find a reason to push it away. too busy, too complicated, too much efort. but if i keep doing that, then what? then i will be single forever.

people always say, "you’ll find someone when you least expect it," but that feels like such a lie. it’s not like love is just gonna fall out of the sky and land in my lap. if it hasn’t happened by now, who’s to say it ever will? i try to convince myself that being single isn’t a bad thing, that i should just enjoy my own company, focus on myself. and some days, i belive it. but other days? other days i see couples walking down the street, holding hands, laughing like they exist in their own little world, and i wonder if i’ll ever have that. or if i’m just meant to be on the outside, watching it happen for everyone else but me.

It starts small. So small I almost don’t notice it at first. Just a tightness in my chest, like I’ve forgotten to breathe properly. My thoughts get a little louder, a little faster, like someone pressed fast-forward on my brain and now it’s running ahead of me, out of control. I try to ignore it, tell myself it’s nothing, that I’m fine, but my body has already decided otherwise. My hands feel weird, kinda tingly, kinda numb. My stomach twists into knots, and suddenly I feel like I might throw up, even though I haven’t eaten anything in hours. But the worst part? No one around me has a clue. I could be sitting in a room full of people, having a completely normal conversation, nodding, even laughing at the right moments, and no one would know that inside, I’m barely holding on. That’s the thing about a silent anxiety attack—it doesn’t look like what people expect. There’s no hyperventilating, no shaking, no obvious signs. Just me, stuck in my own head, trying to act normal while my body is screaming at me that something is very wrong.

I’ve gotten good at hiding it. Too good, maybe. I’ve had these episodes since I was a teenager, and over the years, I’ve learned how to perform through them. I know how to keep my voice steady even when I feel like I can’t breathe. I know how to smile and nod while my heart is pounding so hard I swear it’s about to explode. I know how to keep eye contact, to ask the right questions, to seem present, even when my mind is looping through the same terrible thoughts over and over again. What if I pass out? What if I embarrass myself? What if I just lose control completely? And the scariest part? No one ever notices. They just keep talking, keep moving, keep living their lives, while I sit there drowning in my own head. And then, just when I think it can’t get worse, the exhaustion hits. Like my whole body just gives up after the fight. My muscles ache, my brain feels foggy, and all I wanna do is sleep, but I know when I wake up, it could all happen again.

I wish I knew how to stop it. I wish there was a switch I could flip, some way to tell my brain, hey, chill out, nothing’s actually wrong. But logic doesn’t work when anxiety takes over. People say things like just breathe, just relax, but they don’t get it. If it was that easy, I wouldn’t be feeling like this in the first place. I try grounding techniques, counting things in the room, touching something solid, focusing on sounds around me. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn’t. The only thing I know for sure is that I can’t keep living like this, constantly waiting for the next wave to hit. Because that’s the worst part of anxiety—it’s never really gone. It’s always just waiting, lurking in the background, ready to take over the second I let my guard down. And honestly? I don’t know if I’ll ever be free from it.

I love my gf she texts me mid game and i feel special

I feel like I’ve been asking myself this question forever: what does sexual attraction feel like? People talk about it like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like it’s just there, obvious and unavoidable. But for me, it’s never been that way. I hear my friends talk about how “hot” someone is, how they’d love to get in bed with them, how their brain just goes there automatically. And I sit there, nodding along, pretending I get it, but I don’t. Like, I get attraction—I can look at someone and think they’re beautiful, handsome, interesting. I can even feel connected to someone emotionally, like I want to be close to them, to spend time with them, to be something with them. But that pull people describe, that physical craving, that feeling of just wanting someone in that way? I don’t think I’ve ever had that. And I don’t know if that’s normal, if I just haven’t met the right person yet, or if maybe… I’m just wired differently.

I’ve been reading a lot about asexuality lately, and part of me feels like it explains everything. But another part of me is terrified to accept it, because what if I’m wrong? What if I just haven’t unlocked that part of myself yet? What if I’m just a late bloomer and one day it’ll all make sense? I don’t want to label myself too soon and then realize later that I do feel it, that I just hadn’t experienced it yet. But at the same time, how long am I supposed to wait? How long do I keep pretending I understand something that, for me, has never been real? And then there’s the fear of what that means for my future. If I am asexual, does that mean I’ll never find love? Will people see me as broken? Will I always feel like I’m missing some huge, important part of being human? It’s overwhelming. I don’t have the answers, and I don’t know when—or if—I ever will. All I know is that I don’t feel the way most people seem to. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s just who I am. But right now? Right now, I just wish I knew for sure... 😥