Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 70

Dear me

I Remember when you were 11 excited and nervous to go to college A on your first day. Excited to make new friends, meet new people and teachers, yet nervous as you wondered about how hard it would be as it is a big step up from year 6 but u kept telling yourself don’t worry you will be fine or so u thought.

You were 12 now in year 8 thinking it would stay the same…well boy were you wrong,

everything Changed the friend group broke apart, lonely lunch’s sitting by myself, rumours spiralling, friends distancing themselves,people staring as you pass them through the hallways and fake friends asking what’s your sexuality trying to find out if the rumors were true and then there was you feeling hurt,betrayed and crap about myself. you wondered if things would change? Or if it would effect you more than it already had.

now you were 13 in year 9 dreading to walk through those gates again knowing that you were the most hated student in your year, the rumors still spiralling except now i liked my best friend the thought of me liking her in that way is weird and unsettling,

Classmates always asking are you if you And your best friend secretly dating you would always respond with no even if i was dating her I wouldn’t tell u as its none of your business. You was really badly affected by this that a lot of the time you faked sick as you really dreaded and hated coming to school and even if you did come to school u could feel the eyes constantly staring at you making you squirm in your seat as if u really really had to pee it was really uncomfortable and you feel numb and depressed inside but on the outside you had a happy and smiley forcade. Every night you wished and dreamt that things would get better.

Year ten rolls around and you get good news you’re in a class with my second cousin and you think finally i get someone to sit with during class but it turns out you sit by yourself again and you feel alone and isolated again for the third year in a row. You take French drama and business studies as your extra subjects, in French you sit alone nobody talks to you unless they have to, when you have to get in to buddies or groups you always find yourself alone the only one without a partner or a group and you think to yourself they hate me am i a bad person? Do i not deserve acknowledgment? Your French teacher always sees you alone and makes me join another group beside you or join Evie (fake name) who has some syndrome and is hard to understand when she speaks as her words slur together and she is as quiet as a mouse, and it was just horrible i had no friends in that class nobody to talk too and nobody to acknowledge me. Drama was ok you liked your teacher there were some popular people in your class but they avoided you and you avoided them. But when you came to assessments you were always the last one to get chosen its like dodgeball in those high school movies where you are the last on that hasn’t been chosen and balls get pelted at you I remember when u had nobody for your Shakespeare performance and the only people available were my internationale friends i joined up with one of them but she was leaving back to japan a week befor the assessment so at the last minute me and the other exchange student had to learn a script off by heart but we also had to do blocking for it a day before the assessment but you were used to it at that point. A few months later you and your mum had a fight about something stupid and you felt crap about yourself again and this time you followed your instincts and did something bad when your mum saw she freaked out and u bursted out crying you cried so much it was like your tears flooded the room as you tell your mum about your school life At A. what feels like the worst part of your life then turns to the best part of your life as u go from rock bottom too the highest of highes as your mum said that you can move schools to B. again like at your first day at A you are nervous and excited.

now 15 and in year 11 you are very luckily and grateful as you find your place there and make new friends, you even met a old very good friend from primary school there and you cry in her arms as you haven’t seen your best friend in 3 years and you made really good friends there and you are much happier at B than A although you still struggle mentally you are a lot better.

Why can't I just feel normal? I'm 16 yet I already feel like there's so many expectations now. There are so many talented people in so many different fields at my age. I've been feeling okay but recently I've felt like there's so many expectations that I've set up for myself. I used to have a complicated relationship with age, I was raised by the internet all my life and I adored the feeling of being the youngest, like being dubbed as "mature" within an environment that was purely teenagers or adults. But age practically proposes nothing, and I'm glad I got out of that mindset. It didn't help that I maladaptive daydreamed for most of my life though, and hid behind a dumb persona. I feel satisfied with being a teenager, but now my past is causing me to feel... off. The internet is probably one of the only places I have right now that I can express my authentic self in one way or another. I'm trying to do my best, and sometimes I don't even notice that what I produce (art, conversation, etc) is even worth it without someone assuring me about it. All of these factors are making me feel ridiculous and pressured...

So I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is a bit older. I love him for the most part and it's mostly good but I feel bored sometimes. I don't wanna do anything crazy but sometimes I'd like if he'd plan things spontaneously. Not even something elaborate or expensive but anything. He does fun things but we both tend to be busy and we only get saturdays and weekday evenings and throughout the week we'll meet briefly. Of course I've communicated it and he wants to do things and he'll talk about it but it's the actually doing it part. Also even after we spend a couple hours together Saturday I often feel bored during or afterwards and I find myself wishing we would do more. Sometimes I regret being with an older guy and I love many things about him but it kinda sucks not being able to do things that I've wanted to. And I don't want to tell him about the regret or disappointment because I don't wanna hurt him but I do tell him about the things I wish we did. I know he's focused on making money and so am I but I can't help how I feel. And I feel like I'm a shitty person for feelings these things.

Soo, I have digital photo class for my final I have to submit photos, whatever, I pick my sister as my model.. Today, was a busy day, so I decided to take pictures outside @ 8 pm. I’m always aware of my surroundings, checking every car that drives past as I hide my camera( don’t wanna get mugged🙄🙄) but this guy drives past and I can sense he stopped by not looking and all I hear is “period bitch” trying to be cheeky and stuff. mind you my sister is 13. And it might sound like a compliment but it was uncomfortable for her. He probably thought she was older. But I’m just sharing this bc I need to get it off my chest. I told my mom and her she was like “that’s why I didn’t want yall outside” should’ve taken her word. But for me I think this just a trauma thing for me. I seen women get catcalled online or either in person. And it has taking a toll on what I dress, not liking tight shirts and stuff, thinking it was drawing attention which it shouldn’t.. (for anyone wondering why I took pictures outside late was bc of my theme for my photo, Polaroid nostalgia)

Why does my girl best friend always constantly stay with her boyfriend even when he always lies to her and doesn’t spend much time with her( just for context both of them are my best friends I had been best friends with my boy best friend before they got together)

So let’s just call my girl best friend Amy and my boy best friend Ethan

So Amy always complains to me that Ethan is always hiding his phone and she eventually gets to the bottom of it where he has got pictures of girls on his phone and he is lying about having them, she has “broken up” with him too many times and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t know what to tell her anymore coz I say to her it’s up to you what you do it’s not my relationship, she still goes back to him and forgives him but how many times is she going to repeat the same things all the time and she gets mad, upset and even blocks him and then unblocks him and then is all perfectly normal with him the next day , he always gets annoyed at me or take it out on me if he is frustrated about something but never his own girlfriend like I’m his best friend not a verbal punch bag, she never confronts him about it because she will get upset about how he will react, she doesn’t confront about him about certain things coz he always reacts the same he gets in a mood with her, he says I’m not doing this, I’m not listening to what you are saying because you are constantly going on,a woman has the right to say what she is feeling and if it is bothering her then she should be able to talk about it without someone getting annoyed about it or doesn’t want to listen because men know they are in the wrong they just don’t care, so what do I do about this guys

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel like I had a good day today. I felt clearheaded as I reflected on the nature of my relationship with my father, which until recently had been extremely tangled—and therefore problematic.

My father lives with his partner and her daughter, and I live separately. There’s a sister I know nothing about, and my mother is a shared figure between us whom we both have essentially discarded due to her abusive behavior and controlling tendencies. My father still interacts with that whole group—except with me. Our interaction is practically nonexistent.

He lives with that pair, has to work with my mother, and I have no idea what kind of relationship he has with my sister. Essentially, my father carries a heavier family load than I do, on top of working and studying. As for me, I don’t have much of a family context. I work and explore creative outlets. In that sense, I assume I have more flexibility, though I don’t waste time either—unlike him. Our reflections come from different modes: his from contrast with a loaded family routine, and mine from being detached from such a routine. In the end, it leads us to the same thing.

My father provides financially—he pays for my housing and gives me money for small luxuries. I, on the other hand, cover my own breakfast, lunch, and dinner, house cleaning costs, snacks, and personal entertainment. In that way, we’re even.

We both stay in our own spaces—he in his academic bubble, and I in my freedom. I’ve left behind the academic setting as a symbol of discarding the past, while he reclaims it by investing in expanding his knowledge. Both of us, in our own ways, have tried to break away from the events of the past. However, things resurfaced after a long period of imposed silence.

That silence stemmed from problems with my stepmother. Contact resumed when I began expressing things I hadn’t voiced during that time. After that, my father started controlling me through opaque conditions, designed to avoid disapproval on either side and to prevent conflict. Eventually, I stopped playing by those rules, to the point of disrupting the family structure—just as he had once disrupted my principles of freedom and personal growth. That led to a kind of balance: he and I have both suffered the same, so now we can approach each other with both caution and independence. From this, I conclude that I’m safe and sound in regard to this relationship.

Being able to visualize this long-evolving dynamic in an organized way gives me the clarity to approach other relationships that I now need to study more closely.

Now, I’m approaching a young woman. She’s in a misogynistic relationship—against her will—trapped in a group dynamic that pushes her to stay, even though it benefits only her partner. He retains dominance because he hasn’t been subjected to guilt or rejection like she has. She’s had to face rejection from both families involved in the relationship, while he remained accepted by both. She reached out to me over a year ago, seeking a transition—a way out of that group and into something with me. And I believe we’re making progress. Based on my observations, that relationship is doomed to end over time. I feel hopeful, knowing she’ll be safe and free to grow. And I’ll have the honor of witnessing the evolution of a masterpiece—human freedom and diversification.

I used to think her relationship mirrored the one I had with my father. But it turns out to be the opposite. In her case, she fought hard to maintain the relationship and ended up rejected by both families. In my situation, I fought for justice against the abuse from both my mother and stepmother. I didn’t necessarily depend on my father’s support, though at times he offered some. In the first case, neither of us were accepted. In the second, I wasn’t. That part mirrors her story. But I wasn’t fighting to keep the relationship with my father—I felt that relationship was already safe. If I go deeper, in the first case I was defending my father from my mother’s abuse, which even he couldn’t justify. In the second, with my stepmother, the conflict began because I wanted to prevent her from interfering in our relationship. In that sense, the girl and I are similar.

When I reconnected with her, after her ordeal with the two families, she was conditioned into blind obedience to her partner—much like I was with my father. She expressed this openly, and like me, she got involved in activities that exercised the mind and helped her move forward. That happened with my support. With those experiences, I began to take back ground that had been dominated by her partner—just as I had done with my father. And so, she ended up under my influence, although I never ruled out the possibility of her reconnecting with her partner. So maybe it doesn’t make sense to say I helped her leave that relationship—she had already left, even if I was physically beside her.

Then, once I regained those points of influence, the only thing left for her was to stop letting her partner control those same points. But that doesn’t happen just by distancing—it takes initiative to reclaim them. That’s how autonomy is achieved. With my father, I reclaimed those points and then learned how to hold influence without using it—creating balance and empathy. With her, the goal would be for her to reclaim influence and apply it to her partner, to reach a similar empathetic point. That would create enough separation to finally end that relationship. This reclaiming process could be seen as her learning from my way of doing things.

So now the question is: When will she decide to take that step? Should I wait for her? What do I do in the meantime? Based on this reasoning, she needs to take the initiative. That’s why the question arises—and that’s why I must wait. But since I have no idea what her current situation is, I also need to assume she’s not present. So I must continue with my life as if she’s not there, because I lack the context. I don’t know when she’ll reclaim those points, or under what conditions.

At this stage in my life, I can’t factor her into the equation. I have to assume she’s no longer part of it. There’s no continuation—nothing more to do for now. Any thoughts I have about her current life would only be speculation, born from assumptions that don’t belong to me. And it’s precisely from that place that she must begin again, if she chooses to.

I've been obsessing about this for a long time.

Why? Why are we alive? Why give life when it's easily taken away?

I don't want to die, that's scary. But I know that it's because that I've been given life that I'm scared of it being taken away.

I still have a long way to get there, but sometimes, I think really hard about it and it gives me this ugly feeling in the chest.

I want to believe that there's something beyond death but I just can't do it. How do people not think about their short lives? How can they live not thinking about their inevitable death? Because it gives me pressure, it pressures me to HAVE to leave something on earh, something that proves that I was once alive, something like a big invention, to be famous, inspire people.

Please, someone, anyone, make living forever possible. I don't want to leave my life, I want to stay here, read everything that exists, do everything that it's possible to do. I don't want to leave incomplete, without those I love, without the things I like to do.

Have you ever just sat in your bed or just laid there thinking, "Damn." Like your life is so exhausting. I am in this friend group with about 5 girls. They are all really funny and pretty and super athletic. It used to be in its prime last year around this time. The friend group hasn't stayed the same though, and this is where it kind of gets tricky. I used to be friends with another friend group before this and the reason I left was this insane "it's just a joke" type of words people would throw at me. And that main source of it was a girl, let's call her Sarah. I got so mentally drained I stopped going to school. After this, I switched over to the friend group I am in and my life has been going great. Until, Sarah joined. Yes. Sarah joined a month ago. First, looking at her reposts seemed like she has changed and has regretted it. But that was not the case. She keeps on "it's just a joke" and keeps on making me look bad and makes me feel really bad about myself. And it's worse because all these jokes she makes are funny to everyone else. Like when she's doing it to someone else, I find it really funny. Even though she still does that the most to me, nobody really seem to care. They just find everything she says funny and thinks she's a great fun person to be around. Remind you, my friends are NOT bad people, they care about me, they make me laugh at my lowest. But Sarah really seems to be good at manipulating people. What would you do?

I hate school. It stresses me the heck out and I get social anxiety so when I have a presentation or something I either fake sick or just start crying. me and my friend both struggle with some mental health problems and it does NOT help in school at all. EVER. anyways school is really hard and its 6 freaking hours which is so so so so so so so long to just sit there and learnnnnnn

G'day. I have been feeling absolutely abysmal because

I can't move on. I liked someone, he made me feel as if he likes me, but later on got in a relationship with his girl bestfriend and somehow we keep bumping into each other at random places. And now I can't seem to move on. I can't have a closure as I don't have his number or insta.

Ping

Ping

Ping

Make it stop

Ping

Ping

Ping

Ping

Another wave of messages come through

You throw your phone across the room

Shattered and broken

Yet still turns on

Ping

Ping

Ping

Another load of messages

Overloading your brain

You swipe open your phone

Wincing as the broken glass slices your finger

You open your messages

"Traitor"

"Cheat"

"Liar"

"Fake"

You switch off your phone

You can't do it

Ping

Ping

Ping

You burst into tears

Why do they hate me so?

i dunno how much longer i can keep doin this. every day feels like a repeat of the last one, same desk, same fake smiles, same pressure that keeps building and building and no one even talks about it. it’s like everyone at my job is running on fumes, but we all pretend like we're fine, like if we stop even for one sec someone else will take our spot. we're not working to grow or create anymore, we're working to survive. to not get fired. to not be the next one in that “meeting” room where they tell you your position is being "restructured." i see people cryin in their cars before walkin in, people stayin late even when their eyes are red and they got kids waitin at home. and me? i’m no different. i wake up with this knot in my chest every single morning, scared to check my emails, scared my name’ll be the next one called. i work through lunch, i say yes to everything even when i’m drowning. nd still, i feel like i’m not doin enough.

i used to have dreams man, like real ones. i thought i’d work hard, make a name for myself, maybe even lead a team one day. now? now i just dream about sleep. about quiet. about not feelin like i’m gonna snap if one more damn task lands on my plate. i can’t even remember the last time i laughed for real, or felt proud of anything i did. i just feel numb most of the time. or angry. or scared. i don’t talk to my friends anymore, i cancel plans, i ignore calls from my mom cause i don’t got the energy to pretend i'm ok. my brain don’t even shut off at night. i lay there thinking about what i didn’t finish, what i should’ve said in that meeting, whether my manager secretly hates me. nd then the alarm goes off and it starts all over again. i feel like i’m losing pieces of myself every damn day.

the people here... they’re all in survival mode. no one shares real thoughts anymore. everyone smiles but it’s all surface level. we’re competing silently, watching each other like hawks, pretending to be “team players” while lowkey hoping someone else messes up first. it’s toxic but no one says anything, cause no one wants to be seen as the weak one. and i feel like i’m goin crazy cause i can see it for what it is and yet i still show up and play the game. even when my body’s screamin to rest. even when my mind's all foggy. i drink like 3 coffees a day just to function, sometimes i skip meals, and still i get told i need to “show more initiative.” what the hell do they want from me?? blood?? i’m already runnin on empty. they want perfect robots, not humans. but i’m not a robot. i’m tired. i’m burnt out. and i feel like no one cares, like even if i collapsed at my desk, someone would just step over me and take my workload.

i don’t kno how to fix it. i don’t kno if it’s me or the job or the whole system but something’s wrong. i shouldn't feel this broken at my age. i shouldn't be questioning my sanity just cause of work. i don’t wanna be this bitter, exhausted version of myself forever. i miss when life had color, when i didn’t feel like cryin at the sound of another slack notification. i need something to change, but i’m scared. scared to leave cause what if it’s the same somewhere else? scared to speak up cause i might get fired. scared to admit i’m not okay cause that would mean facing how deep this all goes. so i keep goin, one day at a time, pretending i’m holdin it together when really... i feel like i’m losin my mind. and i don’t kno how much longer i can fake it.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel like I never want to go back to my aunt’s place again. That woman doesn’t accept me for who I am. She tries to erase me—erase how I really am—just to protect her own image. She’s done it before, and now she’s doing it again. She’s still fighting that same battle, and I can’t take it anymore. I just want her out of my life. Honestly, I wish I’d never even met her.

If she thinks that helping us gives her the right to meddle in our lives, she’s completely mistaken. That’s how I feel—invaded. Ever since I stayed with her, I’ve felt strange, emotionally wounded, and completely unmotivated. I’ve been fighting to not let myself get dragged down by whatever it is she left in me—this form of disguised violence, pretending to be innocent. It seems like she enjoys it, and that terrifies me. I don’t think she even knows what she’s saying—she just acts without thinking. She believes a smile is enough to fix everything.

This woman scares me. I simply don’t want to see her again. Nor her friend. They’re strange people. They want to change everything about you and frame it like it’s “for your own good”—but it goes as far as emotional abuse. What kind of mentality is that? Why did I have to witness this? And why, of all families, did this one have to be mine? Why couldn’t I have ended up in a different one, for God’s sake?

Why, of all people, was she the one available to care for me after surgery? The moment I walked into her house, with my bags in hand, I felt like I was walking straight into hell. These people are experts at shutting you down when you try to speak about what’s hurting you. When I tried to explain this to my psychiatrist, I felt like she looked at me like I was crazy. Honestly, I’m afraid my aunt will try to set me up—make me explain what hurts me just to twist it around and blame it on my traumas or mental health, like I’m the problem.

I feel helpless dealing with the aftermath of these people. No one around me is supporting me. I feel absolutely awful.

i married my husband almost 2 years ago but things just got worse and worse with time and he became pretty controlling so I've been working on becoming more financially independent since due to a very complicated situation I ended up depending on him. In the meantime, I have developed strong feelings for a coworker and the other day he asked me out, since I'm married and my husband works at the same place ( which coworker knows) I chicken out and said no because I was scared of other people that know my husband will hear us. I asked for his number so I would be able to text him in private and he gave me his number and said he was exited to text with me, next day when I texted him he was very dry and ended up leaving me on seen and I feel so devastated cause I really liked him.