Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 72

my mom has paranoid delusions and when I was 9 years old she accused my dad of dealing and using drugs out of the blue and filed for divorce. a few years before that she had pulled me out of school to homeschool me because she said that my school was allowing a pedophile/child abuse ring to happen behind the scenes. during this time i would be home all day and when my dad got home from work she would scream at him for hours and accuse him of many things including but not limited to: being gay, having an std, cheating on her with women at Walmart, putting meth/heroin into his eyes with funnels/eye droppers, etc. i would just sit in my room and listen while i played minecraft or like talking angela or something

she also wouldn't let me be in a room alone with my dad, no matter what she had to be standing outside watching. one time my dad came into my room to comfort me and she started banging on the door to be let inside. this is because she got molested as a kid and somehow thought that if she wasn't around me constantly i would get molested too. i had a bunk bed that she insisted on sleeping on the bottom bunk of so we were never separate. i remember one night after my dad got home from work he came into my room to give me a hug and just started sobbing. i had never heard my dad cry before that.

sometimes she would put on a high voice and act like her 'inner child' was coming out. she had told me multiple times that she felt like she was a 7 year old in a grown woman's body. she had a binge/purge eating disorder and would take me out on walks that i wasn't allowed to say no to because if i did i was abandoning her and not letting her exercise. i was almost never away from her, i couldn't leave if i wanted to because i wasn't in public school. she convinced me that the police had put camera s in our house as well as everyone in our neighbourhood's house to monitor us and see if we were pedophiles or not. i wasn't stupid and knew something was off but if i expressed this in any way she would get mad at me and tell me that the fumes from my dad's drugs were affecting my brain function. if i ever got mad, forgot something, cried, it was because our house was contaminated with drugs and my head wasn't right.

side note, one time she left the sliding back door open to 'let the police in so they could take the cameras out'. she had a really weird relationship with the cops and would call them very frequently and developed a one-sided intimate relationship (all her) with the local chief of police and would send him affectionate letters. she gave him nicknames. i have no idea

i remember one night she freaked out for some reason. she started frantically searching the house for something to hang herself with and then decided that she was going to take me in the car to go for a drive. my dad was home and didn't want to let her do that because a few nights earlier she had told him that she wanted to kill me and then herself so he tried to call the police. she took his phone and bit his arm hard enough to leave a dark reddish-purple bruise when he tried to get it back. she ended up getting me out of the house and into the car and we had driven just out of town when we got pulled over by the cops. they asked her if she needed help, she said no. we had to go back to my house so the police could question my dad and they ended up bringing in drug-sniffing dogs that found nothing. the cops ended up letting her take me in the car anyway and we just drove around aimlessly for hours and hours

this is skipping over a lot of stuff but all of that really messed me up i think. i started self-harming when i was 10 years old and would only shower once a week. my hair got so knotted from me not brushing it that it turned into a hard ball and the only way to salvage it was to cut all of it off

tldr: whining about bad childhood

thx 4 reading kthxbye

I had a best friend but I drifted apart from her. We were friends for over 17 years, basically since we both joined school. But as the years went by I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by her behaviors and actions as she never used to share important stuffs about herself with me but others would know ( such as I was the only one in our friend group who did not know that she was going abroad for her higher studies ). Not only that, sometimes she used to tell me that I can't / shouldn't talk to her for a month because our exams were coming up but she used to talk to everyone else. These kinds of things made me doubt about our friendship but then sometimes she used to show signs that she cared about me such as once she showed me letter that I gave her in grade 7 and told me that she still keeps it with her all the time. After she went away I tried communicating with her but she never reciprocated the same energy. So I stopped trying, for which we drifted apart. When she came over for summer vacation this year she asked my other friends regarding me but never directly asked me. Despite all of these stuffs, I still miss her dearly, I sometimes wonder if it's completely my fault or not that our friendship broke. I wish I could fix it but I don't know how to as it has already been over a year since we stopped talking.

hi my name is emi im 22 f and ive never been in a relationship. ive never had my first kiss or even had an awkward situationship. my two best friends are both getting married next year and I just found out a guy I liked is also getting married.

every guy ive ever liked is either in a serious relationship or is married. both my siblings have dated and my older sibling is also in a serious relationship.

everyone in my life has given up on me. they all joke about setting me up with guys then only suggest people who are either already divorced or have cheated on their previous partners or are at least 30.

my siblings always tell me that im never gonna have kids.

I feel so unimportant and undesirable. I try so hard to tell myself that it will happen when it happens but I'm scared of being alone forever.

everyone tells me that I'm running out of time and all laugh at my fear of never having a family.

I'm scared. why doesnt anyone want me. I know I'm not the prettiest or the skinniest and I'm not expecting the perfect man to sweep me off my feet but there has to be someone who wants me. right?

I just don't know what to do.

I feel like my husband no longer finds me sexually attractive. :( We made love for the first time in like 6 days today. He never orgasms to me anymore unless I give him head. He only fucked me for like 3 minutes & wasn’t nearly as hard as he has been when we first met & he didn’t orgasm. Honestly everytime I sleep with him these days I just feel so shitty about myself afterwords. I feel like I am no longer what he wants sexually. There has been times in the past I have caught him sexting with other women. Getting very hard & cumming to PICTURES RANDOM WOMEN ARE SENDING ON SNAPCHAT…. But he can’t cum to his wife while he’s literally inside me? Basically the only foreplay we ever do is me sucking him off. He never returns the favor. He doesn’t really show my body love like I want him to. I don’t even remember the last time he said my body looked beautiful. I’m a big girl and I was recently scrolling through his X (Twitter) likes on his phone & he swears up nd down he loves big girls (which in the past his likes were all big girls, but now all his porn liked on X are small girls.) If he was sexually attracted to me he would get hard & cum…. He would want to make love rather than just putting it in me for 3 mins and calling it good. There was no kissing, no caressing, no dirty talk, no moaning on his side, no orgasm. Nothing. And I am they type person who likes to be very sexually active. If it was lift to me we’d be having sex like twice a day. I just feel really shitty about myself & needed to rant. Any opinions on this?

so i had a best friend, shes wonderful. but her BF broke up with her. after about a month she confessed to me and like all my previous relationships, to not hurt her (and because I love her, don't take it outta context!!!!), I say yes. half of the time when my gf talks to me its like either funny memes, relationship posts, or talking about mental health or just ranting about someone we hate. i want her in my life, shes amazing. i love her so much. but, I don't really understand love as a whole. but talking to me about mental health made me think of things that happened to me in the past, and I realized I don't know what I'm doing AT ALL. most of my personality is just other people and characters from fandoms and stuff, its almost pathetic. i never had a good romantic relationship growing up, my parents got divorced this October anyway, its hard, I love my GF, but I just cant figure out which feeling love IS. can someone help me? its just so confusing. i don't know my own personality or what love is as a whole, even though I have a girlfriend. i just need some advice

Hi, I'm a 34 year old female and I live with my grandmother(75), boyfriend(33), and daughter(7). I do everything for my family I cook clean and go grocery shopping. I even take my older brother to the store every week for groceries. I've been through a rough month, the beginning of the month I lost my 14 year old dog whom I've had for 12 years. This was my first Christmas without my oldest brother, who was more like and mom and dad to me. My oldest brother I lost earlier this year to cancer. I've not dealt with it well at all, nor have I dealt with my dog passing. But the past couple days I've been burning out. Like to the point of me not wanting to do anything at all.

I've expressed to my boyfriend I feel burned out. I even told my grandmother I need a break but literally every turn I'm being asked to do something. My boyfriend has a chronic pain problem and it's hard for him to move. I love him regardless but I get annoyed at constantly being asked to get him things. Then my grandmother is always bugging me to do things. Things like her laundry, which I understand I need to do but I'm to a point where I'm beyond stressed. My brother will ask for things and it stresses me beyond what I can handle. The only saving grace in this is my daughter who literally don't ask for much. She will ask me to play a board game here and there but she's normally quiet.

I'm just tired to the point of wanting to tell everyone to do things themselves. To leave me alone for awhile. I know if I actually told them they'd be pissed. Like I'm the only one who clean and I suffer from depression and get these bouts where I don't clean. Which then leads to dishes piling up, trash piling up, cause literally no one will get up and do anything. I'm just so tired and stressed and I don't know what to do. I'm ready to pull my hair out.

No matter what I do they still leave I try to be the perfect boyfriend but it doesn’t matter what I do they leave every time and I’m tired of being abandoned I just want a girl who won’t but I can’t seem to find one I’m tired of them leaving I just want someone to stay someone I can talk too but I can’t.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for the last 8 months and recently I’ve been worried and overthinking things. Over the last 2 weeks I feel as though she has been messaging me less or ignoring me (which I understand with the time of the year she might be busy with her family) and I’ve just been getting in my head about it. We are currently at our individual parents houses for Christmas and I have been eager to talk to her every day and I feel like she has just been messaging me back for the sake of messaging rather than actually wanting to talk to me too. I send replies fairly quickly but recently she has been taking hours to reply to my messages and I’m worried that she is dropping off conversation to make it easier for her to end things with me when we do finally see each other in person on Saturday. I know that this is probably not the case as it has literally only been a week in one of the busiest times of the year to spend with family and not spend all of our time on our phones but I just worry that this is what it’s coming to.

I've been told how to live a life. I've been told the steps on how to have a happy life. I've heard stories of success. After following directions for so many years, I just can't bare it anymore. The things that I've once found joy are now just things to pass time. I can't even complain about my situation to close friends as there's nothing wrong with my life. The only thing that's wrong is me.

I have a family that takes care of me, but that just hurts me more. While I'm in their eyes, I won't let myself die for them. I've told lies to keep them happy and what they want to hear so they don't have to worry. Recently they told me that they were worried for my future as I didn't do anything for awhile. They aren't wrong, I didn't do anything but I just can't bring myself to do anything. I know the things that I'm supposed to do. The expectations that I'm supposed to meet. The person that I should be. I know that they are trying to look out for me but sometimes I wish they would just forget about me. I never have an answer for them when they ask about what I want to do. I usually tell a lie and count the time.

I just want something to bring everything to an end. Something to remove my existence. Something to free me from my own hell. I can see my self-sabotage but that's all I have. To continue doing the same thing that I've done for the entirety of my life. The pain isn't something healthy but it's something. Some days I wish I was numb and to do everything like a machine. How easy things would be to not feel anything.

What would be the thoughts if this was seen on a TV show? Probably mild resentment... "How could you be sad if everything was handed to you?" or "How can you be sad if you got everything that you wanted?"

ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and we've had many ups and downs but we have always worked through them. this time it's different, no matter what i do or say, he doesn't want to work through it. in september, he had broken up with me, this lasted for about a month. just as he met other girls, i met other guys. i had fallen into old bad habits and talked to many people knowing i wasn't over him at all, i just felt so empty. i looked for him in everybody i met but it just wasn't the same. at some point after a month, he reached out to me and after some talking, we got back together. he told me the truth about all the girls he met, who he tried to get with, and what he did during that time. even though i did the same, i lied to him about meeting people and only told him about how i missed him and fell into bad habits. i was afraid of him getting upset or jealous so i continued with this. he had somehow found out that i lied to him and i came clean to him about everything. he told me to tell him the full truth in detail and i did just that but he doesn't believe what i say anymore. i wrote him a 3 page letter addressing everything i did and apologizing countless times, after that i wrote him paragraphs of explanations he had ask me for. he keeps asking me for a "real" explanation even though what i explained was the full truth. he tells me i don't know how to love when in reality i love him more than anything and ive done so many things for him that really show the extent to how much i love him. i understand that he doesn't trust me anymore and that he has a right to feel that way. but i feel so ashamed of myself, and im genuinely so sorry for everything, i just don't know what to do anymore. he has been texting me today saying things like "u cant even give me the truth" and i haven't answered him at all. ive been crying about this all day and i feel so depressed about the fact that i really messed things up for good. i dont know what do do anymore, i know that he won't accept what i tell him and i understand completely. i just want to fix everything, but how am i supposed to? sorry this is so lengthy lol

ppl at school tell me to kms and that apparantly im a lesbian even tho im straight (if you dont belive me , you should see mh addiction with ryan Reynolds) and i have a therapy friend , but i'm scared of them (i dont know if its coz they're really cool , or that i look up to them so much -since im so short , quite literally - or if , idk) so i cant alk t anyone , not my family , not really my friends... soo its being bottled up in my head , now i'm a really fucked up person tbh , i'm so touch/care-deprived that i want to be r@ped and m*rdered.... yeah

i am ussaily a kind person. i take care of my family whether it be my adoptive parents and siblings or my biological family. i have always wondered though why doesnt anyone wanna take care of me? you know love me they way i love them. Now i am fine by myself most of the time but sometimes i need love too. i wanna be taken care of i wanna be asked how my day was or how am i today. but its like no one is really worried about me or what am i doing. so for me to be able to feel some kind of love i get into relationships. i was with this one boy who loved me endlessly but there were things in the relatioship i did not like. he didnt want me to be me. he didnt aprrove of my friendships or that i went to parties to drink or nothing. he just wanted me to stay home locked in my room because thats what he liked to do but i personly did not want to because of the fact that its hard for me to keep friends if i dont go out people wont nessacrily care about what i do and he knows that. and maybe he was just trying to protect me but i just couldnt do it there were so many things that differ from us. and so it fissed out after a while. and now i am single and i hear the rumors about me being spread that i cheated on him or that he cheated on me but idk imk confused but i was so desperate for love somewhere i didnt even care if he did cheat on me or not it didnt seem tht big of a deal to me. i just wanted someone to be with me through it all. now i am talking to this boy and i am asking him questions that i didnt ask my ex in the begingg because i am scared this new boy will be the same as my ex. i just want to be loved like truly loved by someone. and i dont know what to do because i do love myself but i am ready to be with someone who loves me to.

Ive been with him for 4 years we have a 2 year old , in the relationship its he who controls and decides, since im 5-6 years younger he said i dont know about life, when we fight its always me fault, if im hurt by his actions i get screamed at for stressing him with stupid stuff. If i buy something i have to run it by him but if i dont but something i new we needed i get screamed at as well, when we fight he make me sit in front of him while he insults be and has me crying for hours , im not allowed to leave that spot or i get kicked out of our apt , sometimes he will just go off and as soon as he is done he eats or sleep then apologizes but it had gotten better since i got a better paying job , and i just go let go 2 weeks before Christmas, the first day he was supportive but buy day 4-5 he been horrible saying i ruined Christmas, he has ignored me for the last week and Christmas Eve, he just gives me nasty looks , and today Christmas, he says i should be gone that i ruined his life , i know what everyone is gonna say , Leave but i have no where , i have no family no dad no mom , i have no friends, my last friends my boyfriend said they weren’t gonna amount to anything and i had to leave him and in my jobs he tell me there not friends that there coworkers and to not share anything about our relationship even tho he come home telling his coworkers tell him to leave me . He is very money oriented , me im not i just try to push hoping money will ease his hate towards me . Any intimacy stoped when my daughter was born cause he gained so much weight that his back give out and will be bed ridden for day , also this weight gained is my fault come if we have any type of snack or bad food he will eat it cause he has no self control and is something i should already know, so here i am Christmas Day crying alone with my 2 year old while he sleeps , i dont even want to eat or sleep cause with no money comming in from my side i feel no lt entitled to anything. Also he would let me get just any job he want it something in the field i studied and geting a job in that field is really hard took me 4 months to land a for the first time.

I'm a teenager and obviously due to hormones alot of teenagers around me were committed to someone but I wasn't.

But one day, I met a girl randomly in a group and we started dating but as time went on

During my first birthday with her, a another character enters! let's name him mike

Mike was my bestfriend but he was in her class, our relationship was private and he didn't knew about it so he started having a crush on her but I told my gf about it and she said she would avoid him but quite the opposite happens. Mike and she used to share hugs with each other and etc ( hugging in my country is a huge deal itself ) and as an obvious teen, I was jealous about it. I talked about it with my girl but she put the blame on me and I was manipulated to think that it was actually mine and i should let her have the freedom. Things went on and she started cheating on me with other guys, even after I told her not to. I broke up with her this April but she went to my friends and told them a fake story which won them over me, It's been 6 months since I have talked with anyone cuz I'm preparing for entrance exams ( SAT and three more ) I have no friends to talk with so i just wanted to say my story to someone atleast cuz nobody believed me in my own circle. Even my other bestfriend left me cuz his crush was my ex's bestfriend.

My mother and I we don't have the easiest relationship. I mean the things are great until they are great. We can't seem to agree on anything. Plus she thinks I am naive and will get mistreated everywhere. I think she thinks I am stupid. She judges me for almost anything and everything, like how I talk, who I talk to, what I talk about. She judges the way I conduct myself, why I speak so much when I literally met my friend after 2 years. I don't know how to deal with this. I think I also I have severe mommy issues. I have a voice inside my head, mostly her voice that tells me that I am wrong, that i every step I take is wrong. So yeah that's my story. I want to change this narrative and I want to become a person of my own free of from all prejudices that my mother has set for me. I want to be free. What would you guys do if you would in a situation like this?