Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 9

I graduated college today but instead of being happy, I feel sad. :<

So I’m a 29-year-old guy, and I guess you could say I’ve hit that stage where life has shifted gears pretty fast, and now I’m stuck reflecting on what it means to still be a good friend when my circumstances have changed so drastically; my best friend and I have been close for more than 15 years, practically brothers, and while I’ve always thought of myself as someone dependable, consistent, and available, I can’t help but feel lately that I’ve been falling short in those categories because starting a family has naturally consumed a lot of my time, energy, and emotional bandwidth, and I don’t want him to feel left behind or like he’s not as important anymore because that is absolutely not true, but it’s tough, really tough, to maintain that same level of commitment when you’re balancing a full-time job, parenting duties, home maintenance tasks, and just the overall operational workload that comes with adult life 😅. We used to hang out almost every weekend, talk almost daily, and share every little update about our lives, whether it was venting about work stress, sharing new music we discovered, or just sitting in silence playing video games like we always did; now, our conversations are fewer, our meetups are sporadic, and most of the time I’m the one having to reschedule or cancel plans because something came up with my wife or kid, and although he says he understands, I can’t shake off the feeling that maybe he doesn’t completely, or maybe he just doesn’t want to admit it because he doesn’t want to pressure me, but in reality, it makes me feel like I’m letting him down when I know he probably misses the old dynamic as much as I do. I’ve been reading a bit about emotional labor, time management frameworks, and the importance of maintaining social capital, and while I can apply these theories at work or when organizing family commitments, applying them to a friendship feels oddly transactional, which is not what I want, because I don’t want our relationship to feel like I’m just “slotting him in” whenever I can, but sometimes that’s exactly what it looks like, and it frustrates me. I wonder—do I owe it to him to be more proactive? Should I set recurring reminders to check in, even if it’s just sending a meme or voice note? Would that feel authentic or robotic??? What does being a better friend actually mean in this stage of adulthood??? Is it quality over quantity now, or should I fight harder for quantity too??? I think back to all those years when he was always there for me without question, and it makes me worry that now he needs me more than ever, and I’m too distracted or occupied to notice. Some people say true friends don’t need to talk every day, and when they reconnect, it’s like no time has passed, but does that still hold weight when one person might silently feel the gap more than the other? There’s this concept in organizational psychology about “relational maintenance strategies,” and I wonder if I should treat our friendship in that structured sense—open communication, assurances, shared activities, even if limited—because clearly I need to recalibrate; I don’t want to overthink this, but I also don’t want to assume everything’s fine when maybe it isn’t. I want to learn how to balance the dual responsibilities of being a present family man while also not dropping the ball on a friendship that has been foundational to who I am, and maybe that means I have to be more intentional about the little things, like shooting him a quick text during lunch breaks, or planning something once a month no matter what, even if it’s just a coffee or quick catch-up call, because consistency might matter more now than spontaneity. At the same time, I also don’t want to ignore the fact that relationships evolve, and maybe he’s okay with less contact and I’m the one projecting, but if that’s the case, wouldn’t it still be polite and respectful to actually ask him rather than assume??? I guess what I’m really struggling with is how to reconcile this new version of my life with the old, without feeling guilty, because guilt doesn’t help anyone, and yet it lingers, making me doubt whether I’m doing enough, whether I’m being enough, and whether I even know what the definition of a “good friend” is anymore.

I keep circling back to the question: is friendship supposed to adjust naturally to life stages, or should it be actively managed like a project with KPIs and feedback loops??? That sounds sterile, but when time is scarce, intentionality is everything, right??? Maybe the real answer is to simply communicate—tell him what I feel, ask him directly what he needs, and go from there, instead of assuming or silently carrying this pressure on my own. What do you think—does being a better friend mean doing more, or just being more open??? 🤔

I’d really love to hear other perspectives because I know I’m not the only one facing this type of transition; do you think I’m overthinking it??? Or maybe underdoing it??? What would you expect from a friend if you were in his position??? Thanks for listening.

So guys, this is about some stuff where I need your guidance and experience with this. I'm a young teen, and I have some stuff which bums me out like some chronic illnesses. I suffer eczema, and have been since I was 2 years old. As much as I have the creams, I hate putting them. I hate feeling that I can't ever be a girl who can wear makeup or dress up like a regular girl my age, I can only put on creams and Vaseline with lip balm. I feel like a stone with eczema, not a girl. I even developed a new set of allergies from cat fur, so now I can't even pet my cousins's three pet cats without sneezing and swelling up, and I discovered this while being at their place and one time in Malaysia, in a cat cafe when I petted a chonky cat, rubbed my eyes and it swelled. Now my orthodontist saw that my adenoids and tonsils are more sensitive than usual, hence why I cough more easily when eating cold ice cream or drinking cold stuff. Maybe I have asthma because my maternal grandma has for many decades now, and while hers has gotten better (she doesn't use an inhaler much and stays with the three cats), but she's 64 now. Now with a lot of these health concerns, I wanna give up so badly.

I don't wanna meet up with an allergist or ENT or dermatologist because it's too expensive for my parents and besides, my paternal grandpa used to be a dermatologist, and he was kinda brash. He would yell at everyone, like, EVERYONE, at work, patients, his family and he's now quite jaded with many things, binging all sorts of carbs and foods and not going out much. He's 75 now. I just wanna give up, I already don't feel like a girl and I hate my eczema, my tonsils, my allergies, and my fear of developing asthma because they're part of the atopic triad. I just wanna doomscroll, not do anything, binge all the snacks and sweets to become like my grandpa, and isolate from people because they are all more normal than me. I feel so hopeless, and I wanna know, if anyone is like me. Anyone who's a teen, or anyone with asthma, eczema, or allergies, I wanna know.

so like I've been questioning the possibility of being trans!!! but also not. because I feel like I want to be a guy, but I feel like if I transitioned, I'd end up wanting to go back, and then go back again and again and I just don't know. And if I were biologically a guy it would be the same; want to be a girl, transition, want to go back, go back, want to transition again over and over. it's so weird and I don't understand it. It's not like being gender fluid, where it changes; it's like being both but also one or the other and also neither ALL AT THE SAME TIME ALWAYS. It's so weird and I don't have a label to stick on myself or pronouns or anything

BUT also good thing my mom said I can go to the Renaissance Faire in three weeks so maybe that'll take my mind off of my whole gender thing

How could I have ended up alone? I tried to do everything right with others. I tried to fit in with others. I tried to do everything to connect, and I still haven't succeeded. It can't be that at this point in my life, I've ended up alone. This is hell for me, from every perspective.

I'm envious of the friends I met, the ones I've interacted with, because they have lives, and I don't. I'm starting from scratch, like a newborn baby, except I don't have the chance to go to preschool. How do people like me want to start over? I'm looking for a new life.

It can't be that I have to settle for the life I had. In fact, I'm alone because I felt that the life I had, its relationships, were ineffective and actually harmed me in terms of my development, in terms of my ideals of taking care of myself, of my spirituality.

I was building a life based on trampling on that, however, I found it wasn't the path, because it didn't allow me to be free, to be critical, to be aware of what was happening in my life. It was like being at the mercy of injustice, of unconsciousness, and there's nothing worse than that. I feel that's why I stayed alone, because I didn't support those kinds of thoughts. My goal in life was to be conscious and to defend that no matter what, and frankly, I'm proud of it.

Unlike when I started writing, I'm happy to be alone if it means keeping a distance from people who don't advocate for consciousness, for self-exploration, regardless of the path I have to take. And I have to say, even in these, therapists have been a hindrance, which is why I also had to keep my distance. To this day, I'm glad to have recognized that both this environment and this help, in the end, only advocated for a defective, half-baked, and non-holistic development.

Without a doubt, many of your lives are filled with girlfriends, friends, and well-paying jobs. However, I need to point out, they are prisons, at which point you have decided to sell your conscience in exchange for conformity, in exchange for receiving defense and a position of power by following a trend in which other people are also involved, and not being alone when faced with a situation. Of course, all of this is based on not believing in yourself, and it's just the opposite; it's the starting point I want for my life.

Indeed, being alone, unlike in your case, which means having deliberately disconnected from relationships, in my case represents the constant reinforcement of my belief in myself, as a starting point, to safeguard my life. Without a doubt, this prevents me from being attentive to others. I will be attentive when there are commitments, but in the meantime, I won't. It's interesting to have them, but you also have to admit that they are out of your control, and they are better when they happen spontaneously.

I feel sorry for myself for reaching this point of remaining alone solely to strengthen my spirituality and allow life to move forward completely naturally, allowing it to be contemplated as such. Creating artificial moments is precisely covering up those spiritual points that need to be worked on, and that's what I don't want; I need to develop them in order to achieve this goal with spirituality. Now I understand why I have the life I have.

It must be said, in the midst of this accumulation, which indeed pressures and makes one feel overwhelmed, many take advantage of it to make suggestions, which is simply a way of taking advantage of a development of ideas, a boiling point of ideas, to gain a follower. This is an attack on their development, on their individuality.

I don't understand how I ended up alone, without a girlfriend, friends, or even family. I have no one to turn to for my life. I keep everything to myself.

No one calls me to find out how I'm doing, where I am, or what I'm doing, or to show interest. It's because of my father, but it's not the same. I don't maintain any relationship structure.

My life in relationships ended in complete disaster. I've even tasted sex, even a courtship. It's been a long time since I kissed a girl; I barely kissed her, and it was only briefly when I was in my early teens, and it was purely a dare.

No girl has ever been interested in me, or even wanted to have something more with me. I can't believe I haven't been attractive to anyone. I also can't believe no one has wanted to be my friend.

I even have a job worthy of respect from others. It's a public one, too. I don't practice my career; I gave it up. I have no basis for this life in the midst of this capitalism.

Without contact, without a boyfriend, without a family, or a career, I'm at the mercy of a current where I can't transcend. I admit it, I got rid of everything because I wanted to start over.

I had superficial relationships, I didn't like my career, dating seemed like something I wasn't ready for, and the connections I had were fraudulent. My father doesn't help me at all because his line is precisely to return to that old life.

Right now, when I feel more prepared than ever to start over, I can't do it. I feel like the system isn't prepared for people who want to start a new life.

I don't know where I'm going to get friends, a girlfriend, contacts, and even restart a career, without an environment that doesn't support me but rather harms me as a father, only making me unstable when it comes to this new goal, if I set it.

I feel like my father is one of my main problems, and I have a strong desire to slam the door in his face, no matter what. I can't start my life if I don't start from scratch. He's the only one who prevents me from doing so, but starting from scratch would also mean losing the financial support he provides.

This isn't easy. With everything else destroyed, and wanting to start slowly, I can't because there's someone, my father, who wants me to recover that. It's the last straw. I wish I hadn't lived the life I chose under disastrous principles. It's not fair that starting over is complicated. I admit that sometimes I feel like going back to the way things were before. There was progress and a certain foresight about what would happen with everything.

Now that I'm going against the grain, nothing is ever predictable. The culture doesn't support me at all. I swear, I wish I could give up many times. However, I feel like the only path left for me is to manage by distancing myself from everyone and maintaining it. Under these conditions, if I want to start over, have some support, and gradually build my life, the best thing is to be alone, to start from there, from that axis, and progress along it, avoiding leaving, consolidating that it is the path, the foundation, to rebuild my life.

In the midst of everything, being alone allows you not to look to others, to that other part of yourself, that you seek to give in to, and that you seek out in itself, precisely because you want to rest. I would like to find someone who can support me on this journey and who can also support my father or my family, as they have also been factors that have served to unify those around me against me, against the path I want to follow.

Being alone, as I say, implies both maintenance and effort, through constant introspection, and this system is not designed to ensure this, but to advance at its own pace, according to a bureaucracy. I fear that they won't be able to cope with each other and I'll end up falling along the way. This introspection is the only thing that has kept me grounded in my ideals.

I think that this is less of a question and more of a vent. I was at a festival recently and for the first time in a while I felt genuinely happy and optimistic about my life and my future, it was 100% one of the best days of my life. Though afterwards, my dad sent me all of the videos and photos that he took and I’m in nearly all of them. I’m so ugly in each one and it’s not subjective or me being insecure, I am truly ugly and there’s no redeeming me. It makes me feel really sick and I got so angry at my dad for ruining my memories by reminding me how I looked, and how even when I was my happiest and smiling I still looked dreadful. It makes me embarrassed to go outside because I know that people are seeing my face and judging me. Even if they’re not judging me, they’re feeling sorry for me or are disgusted. I struggled to sit with my family for dinner tonight and nearly cried because I was aware that they could all see my face, and that’s mainly what made me write this. This sounds silly but I wish that we were all nothing but our souls, and had no physical bodies to worry about. I regularly struggle with suicidal thoughts anyway and I feel hopeless because every time I start to feel better I gain something else that makes me want to die. I suppose I’m just looking for validation on here so does anyone else relate? Or has anyone else also accepted that they’re ugly and have learnt to live with it? I’m 15 so perhaps my face will change overtime, but for now I can just see myself getting fatter and uglier by the day because of my horrible thoughts, so no hope.

Yesterday night turned into one of the strangest and most unsettling experiences of my life. I’m 41, married for 13 years, and I thought I had a pretty solid grasp of where my marriage stood, but last night really shook me. My wife went out with her girlfriends, which I’ve never had a problem with—she deserves time with her friends just as much as I do. Usually she texts me at least once to say where she is or when she’ll be home. But this time, I lost all contact with her. Her phone went off, no messages, no updates, nothing. For 24 hours I had no idea where she was. I barely slept, checking my phone every ten minutes, even calling some of her friends who gave me vague responses like “she’s fine, don’t worry.” Fine? How am I not supposed to worry when my wife is just gone without explanation? It felt like those long nights back when we were first dating, when she’d sometimes disappear after arguments, except now it’s not just some casual relationship—it’s our life, our home, our marriage. By the time she walked through the door the next evening, I was a mix of relief and boiling anger. I asked where she’d been, and she said she didn’t remember where she slept. Didn’t remember. Who comes home after a night out, missing for 24 hours, and just says that?

I’ll be honest, I lost it. I yelled at her like I haven’t in years. I accused her of cheating, because how else can you explain being unreachable for an entire day, coming home with vague and nonsensical answers? She kept saying things like “I think I crashed at someone’s place” or “we had too much fun, I’m not sure.” That just made me angrier, because I know her memory isn’t usually that bad, and even when she’s drunk she still remembers the basics. She didn’t smell like alcohol, her clothes didn’t seem dirty, and she acted almost too casual about it all. I felt like a fool, standing there with my voice raised, demanding answers, while she just shrugged and gave me half-sentences. After a while, I realized I wasn’t even getting anywhere—I was yelling into a wall. So I stopped. I sat down, let her walk away, and just stared at the table for what felt like forever. It reminded me of when my dad used to disappear for days when I was a kid, always coming back with some excuse, and how much I hated that uncertainty; now here I was reliving that same feeling, only with the person I chose to build my life with.

Now, a few hours later, I’m calm but still completely lost. I keep replaying it in my head, wondering if I overreacted by yelling, or if my reaction was justified. On one hand, I know trust is the backbone of any marriage, and disappearing without explanation for 24 hours is a massive breach of that trust. On the other hand, I can’t prove anything happened, and maybe she really was just careless with her phone and drank too much. But how do I get past the fact that her answers don’t make sense, that she seemed almost rehearsed in being vague? I don’t want to be the jealous, paranoid husband who jumps to conclusions, but I also don’t want to be the naive guy who ignores red flags. I’ve never felt this unsure before. Do I press harder for the truth, or do I let it go and hope it doesn’t happen again? Part of me thinks about counseling, another part thinks about giving her space, and another part thinks maybe I’m already losing her and this is the beginning of the end. Am I overreacting? Or would anyone else in my position feel the same way 😔?

"It's filthy disgusting

So ugly, I'm sure

I'm ugly, disgusting

And filthy for sure"

this lyrics reminds me of myself lol, like how come did i mastubrate wishing someone would rape me bc of how unloveable i am? im the youngest sibling, the loner, the ugly side character. i felt loved by the slightest affection, i felt chosen when i was sexually assaulted. i just wanted to feel loved. but since im not even half decent, i just know no one would date me, so i touch myself imagine it was someone else's just to feel loved. how pathetic.

So there is this guy in my class that i am friends with. He says he has dated a lot of girls (16 girls to be exact). And i have only dated 1 guy ever before. So while i don't like that he is a so called playboy, Idk why but i still like him.

We used to spend a lot of time together cause he is in my class and we also live in the same building. and one night he got icecream for us so we went on the terrace and sat together eating it.

So he initiated all of this by getting the icecream, eventually we both said we liked each other and then we even kissed (full blown makeout session actually)

All of this meant a lot to me as it is my first time at it. This continued for like a week, he "lovebombed" me. We even went on two movie dates. It was all like too good to be true types. It was very perfect to me, so i started really really liking this guy.

And well he basically stopped talking to me abruptly. And that has left me all heartbroken and clueless. Like why would he himself initiate the spark, tell me that he likes me, do all these nice things for me, and then just leave?

My boyfriend works in management at a private school, and during the holidays the school does a big clean-up. Recently, he brought home bedsheets, pillowcases, blankets, and even the curtains from the nurse’s office so that I could wash them. I don’t mind doing the sheets and bedding, but the curtains are extremely heavy, and on top of our regular house chores and laundry, it feels like a lot to put on me.

When I asked why he didn’t just use the outside service the school mentioned, he said it would cost the school money and that since we have a washing machine and a dryer at home, it made more sense to do it here. I tried explaining that the curtains are heavy and not easy to deal with, and his response was simply, “I bet.” It left me wondering why this task has suddenly become my responsibility in the first place.

Not a day goes by that I don't ask where she might be. I don't know, but I somehow feel like she'll return sooner or later. It's as if the distance we took had been a time for closure.

We became engaged, but she immediately asked me to distance ourselves. We didn't bother maintaining contact through other means. The one we had was simply our face-to-face meetings. She didn't bother with this aspect, and I didn't want to insist. I felt tense.

I don't know why it didn't go further, nor do I know the reason why she cut me off. It's the feeling that I make her tense because we're dating, and also because of the other people's needs. I have to admit, I felt that the other people didn't want our union, and it's a lie that people respect unions; they play a lot of games to destroy them.

Likewise, I left contact between us, despite everything, and I strategically managed to get her to store me among her contacts. I can't communicate with her because she's blocked me, but that already means she's putting me in a holding pattern and she can turn to me. I had to do it discreetly, so she'd have an excuse for blocking me, and not just leave me hanging or reject me, which would make my head spin.

The relationships surrounding her were definitely an issue for me, as well as for her. I was trying to get out of there. It's hard to give in to your personal desires when those around you pressure you to change the subject. I don't think I'm being a panderer or someone who's doing things in vain, but I won't deny that this is tiring. You can't tell anyone, and people, if they're interested in making you give in on something, pressure you to know; they're not interested; it's all at the expense of their own interests.

In fact, when we agreed or started dating, she was in another relationship that she still couldn't get out of. Deep down, I feel like she's looking for motivation through, well, a relationship with me, where she's not worried about what I'm doing or how I'm doing it. Of course, the perfect remedy is this distancing, but it's not routine and therefore isn't supported. Rather, the tension induced by the abnormality of the situation isn't understood by many. The fact that it's new makes it hard for me to share, mainly because it arouses terrible prejudices.

My boss even wanted to intervene in the matter, one I had, but since he wasn't attending the place where I was, and also because he didn't need it for anything other than his own fears, I ended up making up an excuse in front of his superiors, making him and another woman who was pressuring me look like a bunch of exaggerated people.

In short, the strange thing about the situation lies in, first of all, this distancing, which for me, as from what I'm seeing, is resulting in support for her, and at the same time, the persistent belief that sooner or later she'll end this distancing. However, now that I'm reading this, it doesn't surprise me, because I'm allowing her to live her life, maintaining stability regarding my anxieties, something she didn't even remotely have with her boyfriend. In the long run, this situation is a spur of attraction for her.

I feel like I'll never see her again, and it seems unfair because we didn't experience many things. She simply said she didn't want to talk, despite reaching out after I acted a priori regarding my mental health. These are things she supports, however, it seems that when it comes to causing the damage, things change.

I was willing to rebuild us, without further complications. Indeed, I could have caused more damage, but I was willing to face it. She observed that I was afraid of her reactions, precisely because of what I would do with them. Without a doubt, I went to the services of the institution where she worked, but she had no other choice.

The scandal that girl caused was monumental. I can't pretend to be ironclad all the time. I don't know if she is used to submissive treatment in circumstances like these or if her environment is, but I definitely am not. I don't like being at the mercy of the aftermath, drowning in silence.

Such an act as hers ultimately implied a failure to manage her whims, to a certain extent a definitive abandonment. It's feeling that after what she did and provoked in me, she simply ran away from me, though not for any reason of her own. It's watching our relationship fracture precisely because of her, even though she was the one who had caused it.

We can safely say that she left me. Friends, boyfriends, she ultimately remains indifferent. Indeed, I felt it was unfair. I must admit that as time went by, I began to notice that she wanted to make less of a contribution to the efforts our relationship entailed, amidst her other relationships. Without a doubt, she succumbed to these latter, to the point of even relying on them to make herself less responsible for her role in our relationship. They even intervened.

It must be said, for my part, in that relationship, I was at a level of commitment, more so than accepting it as a zone of tranquility. That commitment consisted of ensuring that the relationship maintained agreements by guiding us through it, respecting the freedom with which we arrived and continuing to be in it. I didn't see beyond that because that wasn't my goal, but that doesn't mean I missed something amidst those details I discarded to focus on that goal.

At this moment, I don't know where she is, or even if it's worth searching for her. After all, if she's not willing to do something about her reactions, if she's not willing to surrender to the increasing magnitude of them, then it makes sense to face a beginning that would end in the same fate, another abandonment. It's curious, but the last time we saw each other, she didn't set a date for the end of this phase between us. However, we would fall back into the same cycle.

I'm not even sorry that I should continue waiting for her, as it would be another way of beginning and ending with the same outcome, assuming she still maintains the same relationships that included the one she had with me. Otherwise, we could indeed observe a level of commitment, as she doesn't retain the possibility of escape with others, and is supported by them as well. However, this would consist of the cessation of relationships with her surroundings, which, given this abandonment, must result in a strengthening of cohesion, also given by protection amid the circumstances experienced between the next-to-last and last time I saw her.

I feel no hope of seeing her again, and it's definitive. It would be a highly probable path to frustration to assume that adverse conditions existed. Despite everything, I feel there's something I'm omitting, I have to admit.

so recently i find out my male best friend of 3years has been ignoring me. I mean at first i thought he needs some time like cause he also has friends but every time we leave school I am who tries to find him and talk to him, I always try reach but not him. I am not trying to make this about myself cause even when we just stand next each other I feel like be does not want to talk to me and he knows about my difficulties with friends. And its not he does not talk to girls at all but its specifically me he is not talking to i feel very betrayed I'm not trying to act like a jealous female friend of some sort i just want to talk to me once again like we did in 8th grade. What should I do?

I sometimes feel like I don't know how to communicate with others in a way that isn't complex for them, and it results in rejection, given that it seems unnecessary. For me, it's necessary, but such constant rejection makes me feel that my need to be this way can't be satisfied. I'm left wondering, "Where is there someone who can receive my discourses?"

Indeed, there must be someone who enjoys such discourses, just as there must be someone who enjoys generating them. When it comes to speaking, I enjoy complexity precisely to discern more between the words and thus have more tools to discern my life and my past. Indeed, there is a message for another; however, there is a part that is being used for myself. Although if I see this, we can say that I am falling into a decentering focus on the individual, and that is certainly just what others complain about. Ultimately, what it's about is that when we address another, the message to be conveyed must be configured according to the other; otherwise, we will be acting, in this case, towards something to which there is no openness.

It has been difficult for me to come to these conclusions. I feel extremely hurt that I don't feel I can handle a psychotherapist who can support me in raising awareness in the social sphere. When I tried, it only resulted in my perceptions being suspect and a search for me to somehow submit to the fact on this issue, even though the element itself was evidence that this was the case. In effect, we're talking about pressure to succumb and thus maintain a vision given by the therapist, or at least on the terms the therapist liked. I can understand why I looked for ways to discredit any authority and consequently dismiss the individual.

My current therapist doesn't allow me to develop ideas. Instead, in the areas where I find refuge, he pleasantly seeks to bring me out in a non-progressive way, simply by breaking in and giving direction, rather than me. I always felt he was a closed-off person, and the conditions under which we had psychotherapy were also restrictive for me, precisely because of the short sessions. This was contrary to what he initially recommended, which was to satisfy my need to feel heard.

In this sense, I weep deeply. I weep for not having a psychotherapist who could help me visualize these elements, or at least someone who would allow me to do so, at least in a way that would make me realize and consequently allow me to develop according to my own means. The issue with people who have sought to develop according to their own means has resulted in setting limits on development, or in other words, in a sad framing. Asking for help or support for myself has simply resulted in mistreatment. With the first psychotherapist I mentioned, I felt that my accusations weren't taken seriously, and those that were were only temporary.

In this case, both from ordinary people and from psychotherapists, I've felt that they can't support me, which in itself has resulted in a kind of divine condemnation given the circumstances in which I was raised and they found who I am, which in itself only generated problems in escalating ways, so much so that they alienated everyone. The most horrifying thing for me is that I didn't choose those circumstances, so such condemnation is unfair, and it's also due to simple chance. It's feeling that you're not welcome for reasons beyond your control, and that no one can do anything about it, and those who say they are only result in an exercise of dominance that, although not sought, goes against my individual spirit, which is what counts when it comes to unfolding in the world and, of course, achieving comfort.

My point is that I feel alone on this path of raising awareness, when I observe that many of you have friends who allow accusations—well, at least that's what they've given me. Perhaps what I've observed is that such accusations are nothing more than the deviation of a certain profile in a given circumstance. This reinforces my idea of ​​being alone, given that I can't find any support for myself. I have to admit it: I feel alone on this path of being in the world, amidst my difficulties. On the other hand, it's difficult to draw a specific conclusion, because the fact that I manage to immerse myself in my feelings, allowing a free development of letters, albeit with apparent directions, although not definitive, speaks in itself of accompaniment on my part through this path of darkness.

Of course, the latter is something that isn't usually valued as standard, at least in this culture eager for socialization and anxious escape from loneliness, so such recognition was an effort on my part to achieve Guir, which in this case is just the right thing to accompany me on another adventure to visualize myself as I am. Reaching me is a difficult task along paths that seem quite strange due to the stretches they pass through, which are also unexpected, the driving force being only a simple pressure on the head and the search for its satisfaction. However, the fact that I appreciate these letters and at the same time unfold them speaks of me as an individual within myself and that I am interested in myself. It is precisely this dyad that allows for the journey and, of course, an indisputable consolidation, because all journeys are based on a clear and circumscribed delimitation within a context, and precisely the latter is what connects with other delimitations. This dyad is what allows for surprise, appreciation, and at the same time effort, it being the retreat from these that allows for this consolidation.

I have gone deep, as some would say; however, I feel this allows me to enter into context with the various situations that occur within me and that allow me to anchor myself to this journey. Sensations definitely go beyond being elements that define a particular social situation, given that they are rooted in the elements captured. Rather, they are a signal toward what we need to consolidate and that is in line with the moment because, amidst the circumstances they involve, they result in a satisfaction that makes a difference and, consequently, a change in me, in the way I experience them.

This brings me back to the doctor's experience, where the very thing we're talking about is sensations. Indeed, when communicating them, it is advisable to describe them, but based on categories that can allow the professional to concretely interpret what is happening in our body. Sensations themselves do not follow a universal format; it is advisable to use formats that are consistent with the reference and can be understood by others, because otherwise, we can fall into unconscious dismissals on the part of others and consequently carry out actions that are quite disconnected from the situation to which they refer. However, to actually achieve this, I first had to endure being told that I don't know how to express what I feel, and that the conversation was with a third party. Therefore, the character, besides being a busybody, also had the right words for every sensation, which makes him narcissistic. This is one of the things that makes him feel unwelcome in a home, to the point of abandoning the characters.

I undoubtedly learned a valuable lesson about communicating with doctors and others, but with that character, I also learned that I held back my way of expressing myself, and that because it wasn't understandable to him, it was censored. This led to my not knowing how to express myself when it came to something I didn't know how to put into words, or the fear of being considered as such. In itself, this speaks to an environment that doesn't prevent me from approaching the world beyond what they already know.