Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 8

I’m a reallyyyy shallow person I feel like my feelings are fake and I know on some level that’s impossible but I always have no idea what is foing on with me and I’m scared to say anything about it aloud. Not because I think I have to deal with it alone but because it’s fickle and it’s gross I don’t like it I really don’t understand it.

I swear I can feel my forehead. and my head gets stuck in these hell spells where there is a thought that physically weighs on my brain it hurts and it won’t stop till it drills me into accepting or complying to its will even if I don’t agree with it. there is something swimming in my head it drives me crazy . As much as I joke about my forgetfulness forgetting so much is fucking awful bc, again, you know this, I know this, but it keeps happening anyway with any problem I have, I’ll lose my train of thought or I’ll forget details of how a situation played out in about a day. I’ll know on a surface level what happened but it’s like killll meee I can’t even be miserable without my dumbass intervening somehow

Dude I cant see anything that happens to me as bad afterwards it’s like ‘wow… that’s an event.’ but when people confirm so its like holy whiplash I wanna take back anything I said so fast because everything’s fine, it genuinely is sometimes but it’s not at the same time

Because if i stop thinking about it it’s gone and if i wear someone else’s skin, even just for a while, i won’t have that problem in the first place

I’m in this cycle where I hate living like this I hate me I hate everything, then it’s all perfect and I wonder why I had ever thought this way until it comes right back again. I cant do this anymore I swear it hurts too much this is killing me it is going to kill me one day

I wrote this slop sometime last night im fine again. it’s not explained well but I know it will only keep coming back (this is happening so often in the span of a week), any opinion appreciated im just lost. does anybody feel the same? does anybody know what is happening? does anybody know how to make it stop?

for context i’m a teenager and was trying to make plans with my best friend yesterday, but she didn’t respond for the entire day (very unlike her) so i was confused and texted her again to just come over the next day if she wanted since i had nothing to do and would probably be at home all day. she dropped by and told me after a few minutes of talking that she hadn’t replied to me last night since she was going to our mutual friends decent sized house party and “didn’t want me to feel jealous.” i was honestly a little hurt and shocked that she would say that, but she said it so casually so i laughed it off. she proceeded to tell me all these crazy details about how fun this party that i wasn’t invited to was. i’ve never rlly been to a real party before (only small get-togethers in basements and that type of thing) and after she left i was just so hurt that she or our other friend wouldn’t invite me, or at the very least just not describe it to me in detail when she knows i have never been to something like that. she’s not a huge party person either though (doesn’t wanna drink) so i’ve been wondering if i’m just overreacting and being a baby or if she was being a jerk. any opinions appreciated

i dont really have anyone to tell this to, since i dont have a partner and my one friend i could talk to about this...would not like to hear this. im just throwing this out into the void. hopefully no one will ever know its me.

recently, ive had this bout of depression. i know i know, everyone has that from time to time, ive had it my whole life. but this one just seems to hit deep for some reason. ive felt nothing but extreme loneliness since mid-late 2024 (and further...it just got stronger during those months). i got cheated on, left a toxic relationship with two of my best friends, and my old highschool friends? i just dont relate to them or talk to them anymore. my best friend, whos like my platonic-soulmate, has their own shit and love life to deal with. i used to talk to them about this love-life lonely bullshit a long time ago but they told me they didnt wanna hear it since (at the time) they were single and it annoyed them, so i stopped telling them anything related to it permanently, alongside other feelings stuff. not in a petty way but i just dont want to burden anyone. im mentioning this because im on a trip with them right now, and i really wish i wasnt. i have to hear them talk to their girlfriend a lot and all that other mushy shit, and im happy for them! i just wish i didnt have to be near it. obviously ill let them call in front of me and do all that because durrr theyre my friend, they can do whatever. im glad they finally got their first relationship. it just sucks because i really want to be home by myself to cry because i cant cry in front of them or else theyll ask whats wrong and they obviously wont like what i have to talk about and probably say something rude about "imagine how i felt" or some shit. i feel like im not allowed to feel bad about this since theyve been single longer than me or whatever.

i just feel super lonely and suicidal. i cant talk to them about it because "oh youve been in more relationships then ive ever been blah blah"...but they all ended badly. weird high school shit, being assaulted and weird sexual shit happened to me that i dont want to delve into, cheating, being thrown to the side....i dont think im a victim, i think i just have had a bad luck streak. i wont go too into detail. im in my 20s now and being single is fine, i just wish i had someone who genuinely loved me (and ill love them too! Two-way street, obviously) . no cheating or sexual shit or any weird stalker bullshit. im so tired of it. dating apps suck since ive only ever dated friends/people im close to and its hard to get that with people u just met on an app, and where i live theres not many queer people...it especially sucks because im lowkey ugly? i dont need pity for it and im not trying to fish for compliments, ive just accepted it at this point. being lowkey weird with gender, being ugly, autistic, and looking like a teenage boy makes finding love (platonic or romantic) hard.

not only that, but schooling stress and love life stress also pile onto the fact that like...the only people i could talk to at this point are my parents and even then i CANT because theyre conservative and ive lived a double life hiding all this gender and love life bullshit from them. they wouldnt understand and id probably be kicked out. i want to tell them so bad, but theyre so brainwashed. i want to cry into my moms arms about my frustrations of love and gender and tell her all the bad things ive been hiding for the past decade. but i cant. i have no one i can talk to. i try to download dating apps to make friends or do hookups but it never makes it past the awkward small talk phase. i do try, i really do. i just feel like ill keep constantly chasing this quick friendship making thing to fill the void but it never works. i stopped doing it but i always have the urge to redownload those apps and try again. hell, ive even been thinking about hitting up old exes and shitty friends just to feel something/HAVE someone.

im delving into books and science more and stuff i love. school is doing fine and im happy about what i want to do...so i have that part somewhat figured out. but the other shit? yea ive given up at this point. ive settled for just crying myself to sleep, drinking, and indulging in drugs to try and feel less lonely. getting into hobbies like costume making would be nice, but i dont have the money for a sewing machine lmfao.

maybe if i just cave in and tell my parents everything, that weight will be lifted off my shoulders and maybe ill feel a little more resolved/less lonely? i dont know.

im sitting near my one friend typing this. id rather make a long ass message on a stupid anonymous board then talk to them about anything. and before yall comment YES i recently got a therapist, and it helps! another person to talk to, but its not a real friendship yknow? and ik some people will probably be like "oh ill be ur friend!" but its like...awkward and probably wont make it out of this message board yknow? plus, i crave irl friendships...idk. i appreciate the sentiment though. people online can be really sweet! i just really want to hang with people irl, ive had enough of online shenanigans, haha....

if you read all this uhhhhhh congrats, have a gold star. i hope you have a nice day/night wherever you are!

So, I was in love with online person I met, and he goes by a nickname 'Hanata'. I don't know his real name, but he's so nice and seems so miserable and needy..

So I feel in love with what I thought was him

But instead, I realized I fell in love with the vision of him in my head

They are so concerned if my dating life when they are all gay. They should just move on and get going as they are not perfect after all. A guy who takes 3 years just to wanna meet you is just a fcking waste of time lmao.

What I want the most is if you tell me if I know you reveal your identity tell me who you are when we were talking? Let me know some bits and pieces so I can connect it , not revealing your real self and name won't help or I just need to accept the fact that you are just a figment of my imagination and so be it I guess. I need help guys I need to move on the point is moot.

I don't know your name I don't know your face and even if our paths cross in person I wouldn't know. If only I haven't seen the post on that website. I would have loved to kiss you and hug you for a very long time and tell you but I believe our paths will never cross and even if we did I will never know. Just so you know that I still think about you until today sometimes I wonder what you look like and what is your real name bit maybe the odds are just better and we'll never know? I still think about you up to this day but I believe it is impossible to meet and see you in real person? Your fake name and personality doesn't even help lol. To whoever you are my batman thank you and I will never forget you.

it seems nobody cares about friendship breakups. it’s all about couples breaking up. sure, it can be hard. especially if it ended badly with cheating, arguments, etc. but, you get grace. comfort, help, a place to vent, and no shame for bedrotting and needing time to yourself. but that just doesn’t happen when you “break up” with a friend.

in a way, friendship breakups can be worse. get in an argument over a partner, another friend, or simply something petty. often like romantic relationships.

but friendships are often deeper. more memories, more years as friends, less comfort.

i recently had a friendship breakups with a girl named nevaeh (name drop :O ). it was my first year at this school, in this state, AND my first year of high school.

she was one of the first friends i made, and i sat with her at lunch; aswell as had many classes with her. she was very nice to me, and introduced me to many of the friends i have now.

she had had a rough upbringing. abusive father who’s now in jail, with a shitty mom and step dad, multiple half siblings, and a little brother. she has PTSD (main reactions when people yell), and anger issues. she also used to vape and smoke pot, but i was the one who got her out of both of those addictions.

i had a falling out with one of our mutual friends, denver. she often talked down on those less “attractive” than her, and also the ones with lower income. because of this, i didn’t want to be associated with her.

i asked nevaeh for advice before doing this, where she sided with me. i “dropped” denver, but noticed nevaeh getting distant with me. (keep in mind we were tight before this, no arguments.).

that day after school, her, denver, and two other girls i don’t know added me into a group chat. they started calling me slurs. n word (i am white and they are all white), whore (never had a boyfriend), slut (i dress modest), and a satanist. (i am agnostic while they are all christian.)

i cried. so bad. i asked Nevaeh about it, where she played innocent. but it was never the same between us. i only stayed friends with her since in many classes she was my only friend.

i had never felt more alone. i had no friends.

and nobody comforted me. that’s like breaking up with 10 people at once.

long story short, take friendship breakups seriously.

So I had sex with at a massage parlour. I did it from a place of loneliness and curiosity as i was a virgin before this.

I feel like shit now because i didnt live upto my family and religiosa values

I confessed this to my mom and she was very understanding and supportive.

Now, i am not in any kind of relationship but in future when i meet my future wife and I Will reveal this incident to her as I want to maintain transferencia and dont want to have a marriage built on a foundation of lies. How would she react to me? Imagine if you were my future partner, how would you respond?.

Just for some context, I am a 14 year old girl. I have been in my first serious relationship for a little over a month now. He's a really nice guy, he treats me really well and makes me feel loved and valued. But I think I've become too attached for my own good. My life seems like it's revolving around him and when I can see him again. I get really disappointed whenever he can't FaceTime or text me. Because it depends on whether our parents' schedules align, we've only been able to see each other in person twice since school ended and most of our interaction comes from video calls and texts. I fully believe that I feel a lot more attracted/attached to him than he does to me. When I'm talking to him, there's the constant fearful background thought of "What if he breaks up with me?" or "What if he doesn't actually like me?". Taking into account that we're 14 and have only been together for a month, I'm not sure if this is a normal way to feel or not. How do I stop being so attached to him? Should I talk about this with him or not?

This is hard because she is sitting right next to me right in my personal space. Here it is, I am a 50 year old woman who can’t be herself. Ever since I was a child, my mother and I did not get along. It wasn’t that I was being a brat, it is because I’m different. I am intelligent and gifted.

I was able to read college books and understand the concept of the lessons at age 3. I grew up on welfare and knew what that meant at age 5. My mom is uneducated high school dropout who was knocked up at 17. I am the youngest of two brothers from another father. I understood that they were half related to me at age 5.

My mom aborted the child before me and then was going to have me aborted but my great Uncle who adores children stepped in. So, here I am. I’m alive and breathing. Not sure what she did while I was developing in her womb, I do have many health issues. Physical health problems.

As a teenager, I tried running away from her. She had married some rich guy that continued to hurt me. My word meant nothing to her. I was always threatened to come back home by my half brothers, other aunts and uncles, and grand parents. They began to deem me worthless little turd. I have the label of being a drug user, alcoholic, and etc. the worthless no good disrespecting turd. Funny, I’m totally against drugs and alcohol.

In my 20s I tried being on my own. I snuck off to college. Bought a tiny home. Bought a car. Moved far away from all my family. Held down 3 jobs. One of those jobs was my core career for after college. Had some good friends. This only lasted for a few years.

Sadly, my brothers somehow found me (this was before social media taken off). I was dragged home and scolded for abandoning my sad poor mother. How dare I leave her! I worried her sick! I’m such a bad disrespectful disappointment child!

They sold my home. My mom took the money of the sell. They took my car. They gave it to my mom so that she can get back and forth to her work. They threw my belongings away. No joke! My brothers along with several other family members did this.

Now, at age 26. My mother divorced from that pervert and living in her dead parents house. My Aunts who helped my mom hunt me down are now kicking her out of my dead grandparents home. At first it was comical. I have a bachelor degree in English Literature. I’m aimed at finishing college. Screw all their drama. I took off to the dorm living nearby. I had my way paved.

Sadly, my mother followed. She ended up in my dorm room. She did drugs. She drank. With 20 year old college kids! A “oh woes me” 50 year old drinking and doing drugs with my peers! Disgusting! I was so appalled and embarrassed. I left and got an apartment with roommates. She came by every single night! My whole family threatened me to let her move into my shared apartment. This place wasn’t even in my name! The lease was in my roommates name!

So, my roommates moved the heck out because they wanted their space and yep, she got her way and moved right in. I ended up getting r@ped. I didn’t have that roommate protection. My mom in the bigger bedroom watching some stupid movie as I thrashed around screaming. My neighbor heard the noise and was concerned for my well being. 6 weeks later and ashamed, I go to the hospital for female problems.

I got pregnant. My r@pist on the loose and my mother - unhinged! She tried to commit suicide because I was pregnant. Then she tried to talk me into aborting this baby. Something I was totally against! She had my r@pist come over and take me to a clinic.

I never did get that abortion. I used my health problems as an accuse to get the procedure. I went through the pregnancy and had a beautiful baby girl. She hated me for it. I finished college with a bachelor’s degree not only in English Literature but also landscape and interior design. I moved away and bought a trailer in what I thought was a safe community. My mom broke her foot at her workplace. She needed a car and rides to her medical appointments.

She lost the apartment and had to move in. Again, she messed up my life. I was without her for 3 years and here I come home from work and family is just moving her into my small trailer!

I lost my career. Almost lost my daughter to CPS. Lost my car. Can’t keep a boyfriend. I have no friends. No job. No car. My trailer is now a dump. And it’s 20 whole years in this ghetto place! She had a stroke last year. No family around anymore. They all died or moved far away. I’m stuck with this monster. I have tried everything.

I’m tired. She sits right here, getting all nosy on who I’m writing. Asking questions and into all my business. I can’t even breathe without her asking why. Just a few months ago she told me that she wished I was a boy rather than a girl because she thinks boys are stronger and smarter.

I just want to yeet myself for existing. My daughter is brilliant. She can leave. She has left. She has the life I can’t have and I’m so grateful for that. I didn’t want to be like my monster who micro manages my every thought, my every move. My daughter is free to be herself. That is real love.

I’m secretly trying to sell my trailer. I’m secretly trying to run again…

I may end up 6 feet under if I can’t leave. I just want to erase me from her.

My life’s been horrible since my parents died when I was like— 15 or smt

They died from a plane crash :/ yes so tragic, I wish this was a fictional story bc I went through way too much while living. I raised my brother ( practically ), he was just 4 or 5 when the incident happened;;;

Ok and now he got cancer— heart cancer level 4– and if the dear doctors had the guts to actually take care of him rather than scam me for money, maybe my life would’ve been so much better.

Yet this girl had the audacity to show up in my life like bro’s crazy or smt— she was yandere asf but luckily didn’t kill ppl— I guess that made my 1st year of university trouble

But hey now I’m in the police agency and I have a boyfriend :/ but guess what? Fate had to make my life worse by making this criminal send him into coma— we don’t even know when it will end

And worse of worst, my brother died last week ;(

Tbh I would just like to die rn or shiz, but I swear I’ve gone through a case where this teen’s sister committed suicide, I saw the look of sadness in his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to commit as well

So I guess destiny made me have financial problems and loss problems like wtf is even wrong with my life?

Man, I've hit my forties, and you'd think by now I'd have life all figured out. But nah, I'm still struggling with this one thing: sleep. I'm just here wondering why on earth I can't sleep even though I'm dead tired. It's like, come on body, work with me here! Like, ever had those nights where you're so freaking exhausted, you just want to crash, but your brain's like, “Nope, not today, buddy!” Seriously, what gives???

I mean, I've tried all those tips and tricks, you know? Warm milk, counting sheep, no caffeine after lunch. Heck, I've even tried listening to those soothing ocean sounds, but nah, my brain's like a hyper monkey jumping branches. Why is it always 3 AM when your mind wants to revisit that embarrassing thing you did in third grade? Anyone else relate to this?? Sometimes I wonder if it's just my age catching up with me or if there's some other cosmic joke playing out. My doctor says it's stress or, maybe, it's my diet. But let me tell you, even when I've had a chill day, this brain isn't ready to hit the snooze button.

Here's a funny story: Back in the day, in my twenties, I could party all night, sleep like a baby, and be up and running the very next day! Those were the days, huh? Now, if I stay up past 10 PM, I pay for it with full-on sleepless nights. Oh, the irony! It's like my body's saying, "Remember all those late nights? Payback time!" Anyway, I guess it happens to the best of us. Maybe it's all part of life's grand plan. Are we all just sleepless zombies muddling through??

Honestly, it's not all doom and gloom. I've started embracing this extra "me time" at night. Sometimes, I get up, grab a cup of herbal tea, and just enjoy the quiet of the house. I've started keeping a journal by my bed—more like scribbles than actual writing, but hey, it helps. Random thoughts, ideas, things I want to do the next day. It’s become this weirdly soothing ritual, and dare I say, it gives me hope! Maybe you guys should try it too if you’re in the same boat. You never know, it might just click!!!

And who knows? Perhaps this sleepless journey is taking me somewhere. Like, maybe there's a reason behind all of this night-time contemplation. Could be I'm destined to have some great epiphany. Maybe I'm chasing something bigger than just sleep. They say the darkest hour is just before dawn, right? So, I'm keeping my chin up, hoping for that dawn to come. After all, isn't life about finding balance? It's all about rolling with the punches, despite the midnight madness, or lack thereof!

you know what really grinds my gears? trying to find the so-called "perfect girlfriend." yup, that's right, I'm 19, male, not exactly what you'd call struggling in the 'looks' department, and people tell me I'm easy to talk to. you'd think with all those boxes ticked, I wouldn't have any issue finding a suitable partner, right?? wrong! seems like each time I think I’ve found someone special, it all turns out to be a massive washout. it's like searching for a needle in a haystack where the needle doesn't even exist!

let's get a bit into detail, shall we? picture this: i meet this lovely girl, we hit it off, and everything's all sunshine and rainbows; but as the days roll by, cracks start forming. suddenly, things that seemed cute before quickly become as annoying as a mosquito buzzing in your ear. does it mean I'm too picky? am I setting the bar too impossibly high? because let me tell you, I'm not into soap opera level drama, and, boy, do some seem to have a PhD in that!!! sometimes, I think maybe the concept of a "perfect" girlfriend is nothing but a myth people talk about, like Bigfoot or UFOs.

it’s not for the lack of trying!! I've put in the effort, and then some! from swiping through endless profiles like some digital romance roulette to those casual flings that left me feeling more hollow than before we met, it’s been quite the toxic concoction of disappointments. ever gotten to the point where you question every decision you’ve made related to dating?? even for the skeptics out there, it’s a musing worth pondering upon. whoever said "love is in the air" must have lived in another era or wrote poetry for a living, 'cause it sure can't be found in the mundane, modern dating game we play today;

here I am, always coming back full circle to that existential quest for the "perfect girlfriend." and it's not like I'm looking for something outlandish or from a fairytale either; just someone who gets me, where mutual respect isn't constantly blown out of proportion. think that’s too much to ask?? so, riddle me this, dear reader: is the perfect girlfriend just some intangible, elusive concept we've dreamt up, or am I just not looking in the right places?? either way, it feels like the odds are stacked against me, turning my quest into an endless cycle of maybes and what-ifs. guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles!

I came out as trans 2 weeks ago and my mom is being "supportive" by buying a binder, that I paid for, and calling me my pronouns, when she feels like it. She thinks we have to have a reason for BEING trans or nonbinary or anything like that. She truly doesn't realize it's not a choice it's just ourselves. She broke down crying during a fight we had about her being like this then she forcibly hugged me for 20 minutes while I tried to get away and doesn't understand why I don't want to hug her anymore. She isn't understanding the whole, love your child unconditionally thing and truly thinks I can just forget about the trauma this woman has given me. So should I go no contact when I turn 18 and can go to college or try and amend things with her?