Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 7

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Some of you may think it's absurd, others maybe not. It's something that eats at me every time I'm using (drugs), but it's very important for my life. People, I need you to give me a site where I can hack my Gmail. Do you know why?

Because I keep the nicest memories of my life there: photos of my mother who died, photos of my baby daughters, important things I need to recover — and it won't let me access them because it asks for two things I don't have: an email that the person who hacked me set up, and a phone number that doesn't exist. I have no way to recover it.

And do you know what's my outlet?

That I can't remember my daughters when they were little — I don't have a single photo. I have more things with my mom and my grandmother who passed away and only the results are there. They're very important and when I'm in this situation I go crazy.

Any solution? Any help?

Anything that can point me in the right direction?

It's not illegal — it's just something I want to recover because I'm going to live my whole life wondering what those people were like back then….

So one time I had been with my parents and younger brother on a trip to see my cousins. On the way, we stopped by our grandparents to relax. We were downstairs in the basement, me, my parents, brother and grandparents. I accidentally hurt my brother by tripping him when I was on the couch and he walked on my foot. He fell hit his head and I came down to see if he was ok. Then my mother ran down, got on her knees and held him like he was about to die. Meanwhile, I have never had something like that happen to me. Then, as I tried to apologize to him, my mother said and I quote, “no one wants to hear your fake apologizes” I was stunned. I sat there for a good minute, and tried to correct myself saying” I didn’t mean to sound that way, I-“ and she interrupted me saying “Don’t make excuses, you know your in the wrong”. I was shocked, I stared at her and I glanced at my brother, who even looked at me and then at her, with a look that said “you took this too far”. Behind me was the rest of my family and grandparents, who saw everything, and I started to hold back tears. The last thing she said to me was “You don’t deserve to cry”. I looked at my dad, knowing this wasn’t the only time he sat and watched they way my mother talked to me and traumatized me. I told them “I don’t fell like playing anymore, have fun” trying to sound okay, and went upstairs. I stayed in the bathroom, all alone, hearing my mother babying my Brother in a way she doesn’t do for me or did to me when I was his age. I stayed there, shocked for hours and didn’t want to leave. No one checked on me, no one cared, and the hours later they called for me. Reluctant, I went downstairs and they acted like nothing happend. My brother was the only one who came up to me and said “I know you weren’t being mean and you did try to apologize. I’m sorry mom did that” I tried to hold back tears when I hugged him, knowing he was the only one who saw what she did was wrong. To this day if my mom says “I know your probably going to say j favorite your younger brother but I don’t” and this is the first thing of many that come to mind. I just wanted to get this story off my chest, your knot alone in the bias. Let me know if I’m just being stuck up and this is blown out of proportion. Thank you for listening.

Alright, so I’ll just state it here, my little brother can seem nice at times, but that’s not what I’m complaining about. I have had arguments with my brother, my brother throws himself to the ground, actually hurts himself so he’ll start crying, and my parents think I did it so I get in trouble. When I try to defend myself, they tell me to, and I quote, “Shut up, we don’t need to hear any more lies for tonight”. For the past year or two I’ve been becoming depressed (in my opinion, I don’t have a legit diagnosis or anything but I think I might), and have been becoming more and more suicidal. It even led me to attempt by jumping down a flight of stairs, but my grandma ran over (my parents stayed sitting) and had to help me up. She knew this was on purpose, while my parents said I was just looking for attention. Today, I was arguing with my mom about my success in acedemic activities and stuff and I notice that my brother has been playing Roblox (a video game for those who don’t know) for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT. I tell my mom I would like to watch a show because my brother got to play Roblox for four hours and she said “He’s only 9, you need to be more mature,” and then kindly told him to get off. He said no, and kept playing. She stayed nice to him, but then I told her I deserved to watch my show and she absolutely BLEW UP at me!!! I then asked her why she loved him more and she said “I don’t.” I didn’t believe her, so I said “swear on your own life that you love us equally.” She just laughed nervously and changed the subject. Is this because she truly loves him more, or is this normal? Pls somebody help me it’s getting on my nerves at this point.

Hey guys, so. I'm 13, and I have had eczema since I was 2. And one time with a dermatologist at 12, she did finally confirm I have eczema. I use moisturizers and hydrocortisone creams if it gets bad, and it's great. My new creams don't give me all that much hyperpigmentation, unlike other creams I've had, which is good! SO yeah. But a full-blown analysis, and the cause? Nah, no, it didn't happen. And I'm scared of dermatologists, because of many things. My grandpa used to be a dermatologist, and he used to be angry. Like, ultra-mad, so mad that as both an anesthesiologist and dermatologist, he'd yell at EVERYONE, when he'd have a patient he wouldn't really care, and when my dad (his son) got acne problems, the creams were so bad that if dad immediately stopped, his skin would dry fast and if he put the pimples would go but his skin would darken. And from watching dermatologists in movies and YouTube, they all seem very judgy, very weird, always obsessed with your skin (I know it's their job, but I mean OBSESSED), and would create new insecurities for you. And I've heard from my gut feelings if they're with teens, with any skin issues, they're gonna roast the hell out out of you, make you have more insecurities, and feel even worse about your look! Trust me, I have eczema and acne at the same time, and while cutting cashews has reduced my pimples, I get a teeny tiny amount of pimples right before my periods, but nothing horrible, unless the dermatologist says so and I need birth control. And eczema? How can a girl have it since 2?? I don't know, just how? I'm just weird like that. But yeah, I just feel weird, around any doctors. Like they'll only see me as some sort of sick body, and I already feel bad about my looks and chronic disease, because what if when I grow up, nobody would like me for it? All girlfriends I see online have perfect smooth skin. And I'm the crusty rock.

so like idk if I like want to go to the football game tonight, I mean I don’t have a choice since I’m playing with the band and my ginger’s gonna be there so I cant just not go but what if the weird thing happens again? what if my brain decides to take a nap in the middle of the halftime show, when we’re performing? I mean I know it doesn’t have any visible effects, its not like i’ll collapse or anything, but if it happens I might stop playing or marching or smt. besides I’m just too tired for this man.

and if my head does do the dream walking thing, anyone got any ideas to help like snap myself out of it?

LIKE COME ON

THERES THESE TWO KIDS IN MY ENGLISH CLASS MAKING OUT EVERY FUCKING DAY LIKE I DONT NEED TO SEE THAT

PETITION TO MAKE PDA ILLEGAL?!?!??!?! LIKE PLEASE

this is a joke btw, while I do hate seeing PDA people can do what they want lol idc

i don't get it. why does he keep lying to my face?I just found proof that my husband is cheating. it's not like i didn't have my suspicions, but when you're faced with actual evidence, it hits different, ya know? i tried to confront him, laid everything out nicely—phone records, some suspicious texts, even a hotel receipt that ain't ours, you name it, i got it. yet, he looks me straight in the eye and tells me it's not what i think. can you believe it? is he fooling himself, or just me?

come on, i am not asking for drama or a scene, just a bit of honesty; but he's making it all too complicated. i mean, why doesn't he just admit to it when it's all right there? the mistrust is growing worse with every lie, and this back-and-forth dance is exhausting. really, what's the point of lying when the jig is up??? maybe he thinks he's slicker than he is, but seriously, who does he think he's fooling? it's become this endless cycle where he denies, denies, denies, and i'm stuck trying to piece together the truth, detective style. i'm too old for this kind of nonsense. like, just be a grown-up and own up to it, right? can't figure out what goes in his mind. is he trying to save face, or does he actually believe his own lies??

so why is he still lying??? any thoughts?

Is "worrying about others" really worrying about other when you only do It cause tik tok told you should? Cause honestly, you literally ignored me and told me to "men up" when i was at my lowest and was suffering and trying to ask for help FOR OVER 6 YEARS NOW. And now that i'm somewhat ok-ish and trying to figure things out and not fall back into the loop, you're all over me playing the bleeding Heart. But not because you were worrying about me, not because you love me, but because TIK TOK TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULD. It didn't even come from you. You needed the "external guidance" from a RANDOM TIK TOKER to realize messed up things were happening, got obssessed and now you're dumping It on me, playing the victim and making me the bad guy. Like you with everything, every single time. And then you wonder why i never talk to you or never ask you for help? Guess. Not that you would be able to. You're too much of a selfcentered hypocrite.

I have this friend I've known for years, but recently they're just being a straight up jerk. I've noticed that nowadays whenever something even slightly ticks them off they take it out on someone else, and they've become really mysogenistic, basically the whole 'nice guy' thing and it's like wtf? then he's always complaining about 'oh I'll never get a girlfriend' like first of all you're thirteen and second of all idk maybe start treating people with respect?! they're so unpredictable too because one second they're being really great and awesome but then the second something doesn't go the way they want all of a sudden the world is ending and he's mad at everyone, and I genuinely have no clue how to react to ts. I want to leave so bad because there are so many other people I know who are so much better and don't jsut punch me when they want or say shit like 'it's not that deep' whenever they say something genuinely disgusting, but idk how and I'm hoping they just forget about me, ans I also don't want to leave behind my other friends.

'oh why can't people like others for who they are' then they continue to hate someone over the smallest thing like what they wear. 'women these days are so dramatic' and it's a girl crying because her dog just died. 'oh you make me mad' yeah well so do you- I mean oops I'm so sorry you're right I will stop talking to you like a normal human and like a robot that agrees with everything you say ig. 'oh you have no personality I hate you for that lmao' gee I wonder why such a crazy mystery hmmmmmmmmm I wonder. 'why did you miss school I've gone sick before just suck it up and deal with it' now lets see I just told you I had such a bad migraine I was almost hospitalize but ooopppssss I'm soooooo sorryyyy I guess I should have just passed out from pain right then and there mb g.

I didn't actually belive that the internet was ruining this generation to this extent until now and it's kinda scary ngl because no one has empathy or even listens to others in the first place. Imma take my other freind and just like... run away from this group at this point because wtfffffffffffffffffffffffff

Trigger Warning: this post has the topic suicide in it.

im in love with this guy right? i think hes too cause hes like really nice to me and he jokes all the time that he likes me.

so a few weeks ago things got out of hand and i was super suicidal. i told him that i probably was going to kill myself soon. that was idiotic of me. he told the police and now i have to follow MORE therapy. which in turn makes me more suicidal. ironic i know. that thought me to not trust him with my thoughts anymore.

then his friend reached out to me. i told him the same stuff. he told him. ive talked to him multiple times about stuff in my life and everytime ekko (the guy i like) somehow knows about it. ive accused him of it multiple times. and multiple times he told me its true. last time (just now) he ignored it.

ive got no outlet anymore. i dont know if i even want to trust anyone anymore. it sucks you know. ive trusted way too many times and way too many times that trust has been broken.

and please dont try to feel sympathy for the whole suicidal thing. ive heard the blah blah "i get it" slop before way too many times. ive been trough 3 therapist now and im pretty sick of it.

thanks for reading. sorry if i seem like a dick right now. i have that sometimes

Sorry if I sounded too blunt or rude. Anyways, this is a bit of an extension, but I have some questions. Do you guys hate neurotypicals? Do you guys hate all weird sounds or touch or smells? If I say something rude to you on accident in the moment will you leave me and be forever angry? Do you take everything very personally? Is it okay for me to focus on your needs more than mine and always be what you want? Does your mental disability excuse what wrong things you do, because I feel that as a NT, I should tolerate such behaviors I find annoying or uncomfortable because in the end, I'm a dumb neurotypical next to a person who is from a group who's been heavily stigmatized and abused for years, so maybe me getting hurt is alright. Do you guys always hate NT people's interests? Should I mask myself for you because if autistic people mask it's not good but if neurotypicals mask it's okay because they're not mentally ill? Should I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and inflating myself from anxiety I may hurt you in horrible ways? Should I change myself so you can feel comfortable, because if you change it's bad because autistic folks masking is bad, but if I do it it's good? Do you guys hate physical touch? When you have a meltdown, do you guys want everyone out of the room, and during meltdowns do you have every right to say mean things to me? Trust me, at 13, sometimes I feel like a rude jerk, and maybe that's why I don't have friends. During meltdowns, can you guys hit or yell at me? During meltdowns can you throw objects around? During meltdowns, should I stay quiet and leave the room? And when we're together, should I always choose to stay quiet? Because I heard that selective mutism can help in these cases? I feel if an NT person gets hurt or bruised, it doesn't count as bad because we're not disabled, we're very much okay and healthy and maybe just stronger, but if it's you maybe it hurts a lot. Maybe this full question is dumb, like me.

I’m 41, my wife told me last year that she cheated on me, and I’m still mad as hell about it; it’s been eating at me every single day, and I can’t figure out how to get over it no matter what I do. She sat me down and confessed like it was some noble act of honesty, like I should clap for her bravery because she finally told the truth, but the timing was absolute bullshit—she kept it hidden for over a year, and I was living like a clueless idiot thinking our marriage was solid, meanwhile she carried this secret around like a loaded gun aimed right at me. Now every time I look at her, I see betrayal, every time she touches me, I feel disgust, and every time she says “I’m sorry” I want to scream in her face that sorry doesn’t cut it, not even close. People keep throwing advice at me: “Go to therapy,” “Work on forgiveness,” “If you love her, you’ll get through this.” Do you know how empty that sounds when you’re the one living with the images in your head, the constant mental slideshow of her with someone else? I’m supposed to be calm, rational, mature about it, but all I want to do is smash something every time I remember what she did. I don’t give a damn about psychology terms or self-help mantras, because none of that makes the rage stop, none of that makes me trust her again. I still love her, and I hate that I do, because it makes me feel weak and pathetic, like I’m tolerating something no man should tolerate. I’ve read quotes like “Forgiveness is for yourself, not for them,” but what does that even mean in practice? Forgiveness feels like saying it’s okay, and it’s not okay. Forgiveness feels like lowering my own value just to patch up something that should never have been broken in the first place. Maybe cheating is “a symptom of deeper issues” like people say, maybe she felt disconnected, maybe she was insecure, maybe she was bored, but I honestly don’t care what the excuses are—at the end of the day, she chose it, she decided I wasn’t enough, and that decision lives in my chest like a damn parasite feeding off me every single day. I can’t stop imagining it, I can’t stop asking myself questions I don’t even want the answers to: Did she enjoy it? Did she think about me while it was happening? Did she laugh at me behind my back? Sometimes I catch myself staring at her across the table, wondering how many more lies I don’t know about, wondering if she even respects me or if she just fears losing the comfortable life we’ve built. It makes me sick that she can sleep peacefully next to me while I lie awake at 3 a.m. replaying everything like some endless punishment reel in my brain. Friends tell me time heals, but right now time feels like torture, just dragging the wound open again and again, and I don’t feel closer to healed—I feel stuck, like I’m living in some half-life where nothing feels solid anymore. I look at other couples and wonder how many of them are hiding the same crap, how many smiles are just masks covering betrayal. Do you think it’s possible to ever really get over being cheated on, or do you just learn to live with the scar? Because honestly, I don’t know how to let this go without losing a part of myself, and I’m not sure if that’s worth it. Everyone says marriage takes work, but this isn’t “work,” this is demolition, and I’m being asked to rebuild on a foundation that’s already cracked and rotting. She swears she loves me, she swears it was a mistake, she swears she’ll never do it again—but how do you believe words from a mouth that already lied for so long? Sometimes I think leaving would be easier, just walk away, burn it down, start over, but then I think of the years together, the memories, the stupid little routines we built, and I feel paralyzed. I hate this limbo. I hate that she did this to me. And I hate that no matter what I decide, I’ll never be the same again 🤬

lately, I find myself crying way more than I should. it's not like there's a specific trigger all the time, but sometimes it just creeps up on me, you know? I'm 27, and it feels like everything is just off track. There's this expectation by now to have it somewhat figured out. Maybe not the entire map, but at least a decent compass. But here I am, lacking a stable relationship, which feels more pressing because I have this deep-seated desire to have kids. It's like a yearning that's there, no matter how hard I try to suppress it. The biological clock is a very real thing, or at least it feels like one. Is that a silly thing to worry about?

my family doesn't seem to get it. They've always had this traditional view of what "success" looks like, and somehow, I've never quite fit the mold. An engineer would have made them proud, but here I am, a woman with creative aspirations that seem to always land me in unstable jobs. Every time I start a job, my anxiety peaks, worrying about whether this one's a keeper or just another gig I'd be dropping soon. Sometimes, I feel like I'm letting them down, which adds another layer to this emotional rollercoaster I'm on. Do you ever feel trapped in other people's expectations?

it's terrifying watching the advancement of AI technologies. There's so much talk about AI reshaping industries, automating jobs, and streamlining processes. While it all sounds incredible, it leaves people like me worried about our place in the workforce. I've read articles about how AI might replace a lot of professional roles, and while this innovation sounds great theoretically, in reality, it feels like a looming shadow. I want a fulfilling office job, one where I feel challenged and valued, but what if AI makes me irrelevant? Is it just fear-mongering, or is this something others are worried about too?

i've also tried talking to friends about it, some empathize, and others give me the same old spiel – that I'm overthinking. There's this quote I've come across multiple times that says something about how crying is an emotional release from the soul. I wish understanding that made it easier to handle. But, honestly, sometimes these tears is more about frustration and uncertainty than any soulful release. Like even though I'm not physically in danger, my emotions are on high alert most times, and letting them out just becomes a way to cope. Is it normal to feel this way in your late twenties?

with everything being as it is, I sometimes wonder if crying is me just having my own coping mechanism, whether it's due to my unsettled expectations or anxiety about the future. It's just that crying doesn't always leave one feeling better; oftentimes, it just makes the sadness more profound once the tears have stopped. Sharing this feels like standing on a virtual street with a cardboard sign screaming for someone to understand. yet, there’s a comfort in anonymity and the hope that maybe someone will nod along, having felt the same weight at some point. Have you ever cried for reasons which seemed unexplainable once you tried to express them? 🤔

for everyone who has job not related to their college program, how did you do it?

I feel like I'm the floating friend yknow? Like in my friend everyone has their own best friend someone who just clicks with them but I feel like I don't have that someone that I confide in. I'm always the first person to chat in the group chat when I want to hang out, most of them only text me when they need help and I feel left out most of the time. I don't know if I'm being irrational or not. I don't think I can talk to them about it tho, I feel like it will cause conflict.