Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 7

look so there was this guy i was dating like since october ish and we were on and off a lot for like awhile okay maybe 2 months ago is when we like stopped being on and off so much. during the time i wasnt talking to him i met this other guy. now before i continue lets call my ex 1 and this new guy 2. so i started to really like 2 like a lot and i guess he started to like me as well. we didnt really define what we were but we would always say we were just friends right. so one night i was on a trip and i had an argument with 2 and i was just really sad and oh my god did i miss 1 so much. like i literally unblocked him and decided to text him . this was probably such a bad decision ever. after i texted 1 it was probably already really late at night so he didnt respond until the next morning. after he responded i started to talk with him a lot like A LOT to the point where we added eachother back on everything. now this was really bad bc i still was really in love with 1 but i kinda still had a crush on 2. a few days go by wtv wtv. and i was back from my trip so the night i got back i believe i decided to call 2. now it was like maybe 10pm around that time and sometimes when we call we just decide to screenshare and watch tiktoks wtv wtv. so anyway we were watching tiktok together until he told me to go to my ig dms. and i was like "what why?" and 2 continued to say "well i saw u followed u ex back, can u show me ur dms w him" now i obviously said no bc in the dms i was literally saying how i stilled loved him. so this proceeded for awhile of him asking to see the dms and i just continued to say no. then 2 threatened to block me or whatever and i was like what? now mind u i still had a crush on 2, it was really bad like i ended up blocking 1 and then wtv wtv happened. i fucked up so bad bro like idk WHY i listened to 2. but anyway maybe a few weeks go by later and i started to talk to my old friend and we didnt talk for awhile, lets call her 3 okay. so i started to talk with her blah blah and my ex came up into the topic along with her ex bc my ex and her ex are like best friends basically. anyway we started talking about them right until she had the smart idea to fucking re add him or whatever. so after that happens a WHOLE fucking gc is made bro. so my ex her ex and their other friend were in the gc. now 3's ex and the other guy start full on bashing me bro like being hella mean. now at this time me and 2 were arguing (again btw) so i didnt really gaf. i ended up leaving the gc bc i was just so upset over everything until MY EX added me bro. oh my god. so i added him back and we started talking. so at this point 2 was gone he blocked me bc i "did something wrong" apparently. and i was like yes now i have my ex back everything will be good. um no so after me and my ex start talking again 2 FUCKING ADDS ME AGAIN. oh my GODDD. it gets so bad bc now AGAIN i started to talk to both of them at the same time (NOT LIKE ACTUALLY TALKING OR WTV) and my feelings started going back to 2. so 2 knew i was talking to 1 but 1 didnt know i was talking to 2. so this was like really really bad. one day i was at school and 1 texts me and is like "yo why are u talking to 2 again i thought u were over with him" after i responded to this me and 1 had the biggest argument ever and he said "its either him or me im not doing this" and i said i was gna block 2 (which i never did and i WISH i did) so since i didnt block him in time 1 ends up unadding me again and i havent talked to him since. rn im kinda still talking w 2 but i FUCKING HATE HIM. like oh MY GODDD. hes so annoying hes literally so sensitive over EVERY little thing. like today he got upset bc i didnt snap him back right away. HELLO. bro i wish i was like born in the dawn of time bro where phone nd shit didnt exist so i wouldnt have to to this stupid streak nonsense. like when people say social media killed romance like it may sound corny but its so fucking true. irrelevant but, i really just want to get rid of 2 and start talking w 1 again. but i think 1 genuinely hates me. look idk what to do but i honestly might just block 2 and not end up talking to 1 bc i think i just need a break from like everything. like boy drama isnt worth it. but please i hope someone reads this so SOMEONE can answer my poll.

I don’t know why, but everything I do is wrong for some reason. If i unintentionally do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, move wrong, I get yelled at.

Only a few days ago, I had a few things lying around. I didn’t have to time to clean yet, I’ve been busy with school and work. Ofcourse, I got hit. It doesn’t hurt but it’s scary. Everytime I hear them yelling, I’m scared that they’ll come up to me and hit me, even if I did nothing wrong. I just can’t help but freeze or even flinch when they raise their hand at me yet they still wonder why I refuse to hug them anymore, like to be near anyone or for others to be in my space.

I often prefer to be at school rather than at home. I dread going home, I like it at school. I’ve recently gotten a really good review on my behavior. They told me I was an outstanding student. I liked it. My parents don’t ever tell me that because im not good enough to them and i know it.

Sometimes, i wonder if the reason why i hate personal touch within my family is something that I struggle with mentally, but don’t know about yet. I’m just really conflicted. I honestly can’t wait for the day I turn eighteen. Only a year to go. I really want to move out as soon as I can.

I feel so frustrated. I have always wanted to go abroad and study as it would allow me some freedom and let me learn stuff by myself. However, due to some familial issues I was not able to go, don’t get me wrong I am grateful that I am even getting the opportunity to study in my home country but the issue is my parents are not letting me do anything. My older sister who went abroad for her studies in her 19s was able to learn a lot of stuff and is the “pride” of the family whereas I am the loser. I am constantly reminded about how my degree will hold no importance in the global market or how I can’t do simple stuff like going to the gym because our “culture” is different. Whenever I try to bring this up to my parents that I also want to learn something like my sister I get told I still have time, that I am not going to get married any soon???? What does this even mean? I am constantly compared with my sister ( fyi my sister is absolutely on my side and always tries to help me so none of this is her fault ), I get reminded about how my degree holds no value, about how the world will not even care about the degree I hold. I was SO excited for this new phase of my life but I feel so sucked out now, I am not even studying what I wanted but I am not showing the signs that I am upset about it. Whenever I tell my mom that sometimes I get upset that I was not able to go she tells me in a harsh way that I should be grateful but then they degrade my degree?? Funny thing is I got accepted into all the universities that I applied to ( both abroad and domestic ) yet I keep getting blamed / compared to because they could not send me.

So I've recently joined a new workplace, and it's a hotel. NGL, I got the job because I know the General Manager and was offered an opening due to my circumstances. Even though I have no prior experience in the industry, I did have experience with customer service and I'm totally willing to learn along the way.

Granted, it's six-day work-week and lower payment for me, but I get meals, a uniform with laundry benefits and a travel allowance. The best part is that it's close to my place and pretty safe for me to work in.

Also, everyone's been really friendly towards me.

This issue is that, despite being offered the job TWICE, once I finally accepted (I was reluctant because I didn't want take advantage of knowing the Manager, it felt.... I dunno, weird to me. But my situation made me accept), I find out that they don't have a workstation available for me. Not even a laptop. They were ok to have ME bring my own laptop and convert it to be used only with their applications, but wouldn't get me my own. They wouldn't repair a desktop they had literally sitting outside the Manager's office. And I'd brought it up multiple times, including to the Manager but after some half-hearted checking, it went back to the default of "You need to adjust". Nevermind that that new guy who came after me got them working on a setup for him (I wondered for a moment if it's because I'm a female that I was ignored)!

Additionally, the ones who've been assigned to supervise me/ use my talents have no idea what to do with me.

One of my supervisors is a lady who's so used to working alone that she absolutely won't budge or co-operate with me to get work done.

A major part of her reporting is extracted from an Excel sheet she uses to keep track of her work. She assigned me the task of helping her using that same sheet. That's on her computer. That can't be used by 2 different users at once.

Ok.... SO, I made a copy of the same sheet in Google sheets and shared the access with her. Her response? "I can't use this. I'll just use my Excel sheet".

............... Brilliant.

Ok, attempt #2 - I copy her sheet into a shared folder and update THAT for her. All she needed to do was use Ctrl+ A + C in the copy sheet and then paste the data into her own Excel sheet in her computer. Easy right?

Not for her! She said it's "double work" for her and she doesn't have the time.

I've asked her MULTIPLE times to give me just 5 minutes with her sheet to update it (I used the Google sheet version, so I can access it on her system.

She keeps refusing, saying she has too much work to do. BUT THEN, she complains that the sheet isn't being updated.

It is. Just on my Google sheets.

She only leaves the system when she's at a meeting with the Manager or at lunch. I've tried accessing her system then, but multiple times have been interrupted by guests and by the time they move on, she's back and I'm evicted.

As for my other supervisor, he had me working in the restaurant in the mornings, (nothing bad, just some waiter stuff that I was ok with) and wanted me to acquire feedback and contacts from event guests (pretty tough as I hadn't gotten the uniform then). BUT THEN, he said he wanted ME - a lone female - to go on what's called "sales/marketing calls" here. Basically, I've got to drum up new clients by visiting businesses in-person, like a door-to-door salesman. But alone.

I wasn't comfortable with this and I've repeatedly told him that I had no experience with such things (being raised abroad in a different culture, I didn't even have the language down pat). I couldn't outright tell him I didn't want to do it or even know HOW to do it, because it would bring trouble to the Manager. As usual, my concern was ignored and I nwas just given an EXTREMELY basic, almost Cliffnotes style instructions on what to do. When I asked to accompany one of the employees who actually does it as part of their job, I was rejected with a lame excuse. I was even told by multiple people that sales calls weren't supposed to be part of my work.

But, hey, no-one who was actually in charge of my work cared. So I stopped caring.

One time when I asked for access the excel for my female supervisor ( I framed it I her as taking a 15 min break while I updated the sheet) her response was she can't give it because her work keeps her at the office upto 2 hrs past her shift end, but if I was willing to work extra time, she'll give my the system.

I just "Ok" and walked away.

She's been upset about my choice to leave on time as much as possible ever since she sprang an overtime request on me and I informed her that I had other plans and couldn't work late. Even though I ended up cancelling the plans because she asked, she was sour about it, asking why I was there after my shift end, and I had to point out that SHE asked ME to stay behind to help her..... And it wasn't even for anything that urgent. It was a task that could have been easily solved with a simple message forward. Even she knew everyone else had gone, but still wanted me to stay back.

So here I am. Trapped and trying very hard not to muddy the waters of my existence. While everyone's polite and friendly (upto a point) , I don't have any actual friends here or anyone who even understands me.

I'm just looking for advice o. How to survive working here without having a breakdown or pissing someone off till I get a better job.

So, like, here I am at 29 years old, and I keep finding myself tangled in this weird little internal debate: is it okay to provide yourself some self pleasure? I mean, let’s be real here. Growing up, I was always fed a bunch of moralistic nonsense about how it's a sin or whatever, which kinda makes you feel like you’re engaging in something super dirty when you think about it. On the flip side, everyone talks about self care and how important it is to know your body. It’s confusing! Like, are we supposed to feel guilty about this, or is it totally normal? Sometimes I just want to scream “HELLO, it’s 2025! Can we talk about this?!”

I’ll admit, I’ve dabbled in self pleasure a few times, and initially, it felt like I was doing something wrong. Guilt struck harder than the time I "accidentally" ate my roommate's leftover pizza. You know how everyone says, "You gotta love yourself before you can love someone else"? Well, I always thought that was just some cute line to put on mugs and tote bags. But honestly, there's a part of me that's starting to think they might be onto something. Like, if I never explore my own body, how am I supposed to know what I like when I'm with someone else? It's just logical, right? But then, it creeps in again—the feeling that, in some way, I’m “less than” because I’m alone while I do it.

I also have friends who share their own journeys with it, and their experiences are always eye-opening. One of my friends, let’s call her Sarah, swears by it. She told me how much it has boosted her confidence in her body and her sexuality. It’s hard not to feel a bit jealous because she seems so liberated and carefree; I often wonder what it would feel like to just let go of those thoughts that constantly run through my mind. On one hand, it’s like she’s so in touch with herself that it’s inspiring, but on the other, it makes me feel kinda pressured to be as comfortable as she is. So, am I supposed to just jump in and “get my groove on”? Do people even use that expression anymore? 😂 Sometimes I feel old-fashioned when thinking about something that's so modern!

Still, I find myself hesitating every time I think about giving it another go. What if I’m just doing it “wrong”? I mean, how do you even know if you’ve done it right? There’s so much information online about techniques, toys, and all that jazz. Part of me is super curious, while the other part is just doubting if this is something I should be delving into. Do I really need that, or can I just figure stuff out with a partner later on? I read this article that argued, “Self-pleasure is like exploring a new city by yourself before taking someone else along for the ride,” which sounded really poetic, but come on; does anyone actually take that to heart?

In the end, I'm left wondering if I should explore self pleasure to gain that confidence and comfort with my own body or just leave it as a taboo subject. I’m sitting at this crossroads of curiosity and doubt, and I can’t help but ask: Is it truly just a natural part of being human, or is it more complicated than it should be? Should I embrace it like my friend Sarah, or shy away and stick to what I know? The thoughts are cluttering my mind, and I really think I need to talk to someone about it—anyone out there relate? I guess what I'm trying to say is; how do you work through this weird mix of feelings regarding self pleasure?

I never thought I would find myself in this position at 23 years old, sitting in my small apartment, staring blankly at the wall after you walked away without looking back. I mean, we had been together for two and a half years—long enough to have shared countless memories, late-night talks, and dreams about our future. Yet, for some reason, it all unraveled overnight, and it feels surreal that the person I trusted the most decided to end it so abruptly. You said you wanted more space, that you were feeling suffocated instead of supported in our relationship. It felt like a punch to the gut, hearing, “I just think we’ve grown apart,” after we had always talked about how we were each other’s missing puzzle pieces.

Honestly, I can't help but wonder where everything went wrong, or if I failed to see the warning signs along the way. I mean, could it have been my obsession with work, the countless late nights spent at the office, the endless striving to climb the corporate ladder? I understand the strain that can put on a relationship, but I thought we had built a solid foundation—one where we could openly communicate about our needs. Was I too wrapped up in my own ambitions to notice your discomfort? And it nags at me because I know how hard it is to balance personal goals with a partnership. Yet, here we are, and I'm left questioning everything. Did any of it mean anything to you? Did you not feel the emotional connection we always talked about? I can't shake this feeling of doubt that hangs around me like a heavy fog. To be frank, breaking up stings worse than any rejection I've faced in the past. The silence is deafening, and I can still hear your last words echoing in my mind, “Maybe in another life.” Well, I’m now left pondering if that “other life” even exists.

You know what's super wild? Having these little anxiety tics that just pop up whenever I'm feeling even a little off. I mean, I’m 21, and it still catches me off guard how my body reacts to stress. Like, one minute, I’m fine, chatting with my friends or whatever, and the next, I'm biting my nails until they bleed or tapping my foot so fast it feels like I’m in some kind of weird race against time. It’s like a switch flips, and suddenly I’m a mess. Ever had that feeling? It's such a buzzkill, especially when everyone else seems chill around me, and I'm there like a human metronome, just going off!

Last week was a prime example. I was getting ready for this big presentation in class, and I thought I was totally prepared. I mean, I studied, I practiced, I even did that classic thing where you imagine the audience in their underwear—okay, maybe that didn’t help! But as the day approached, my hands started to shake, and I couldn’t stop fidgeting. At one point, I caught myself pulling at my hair, which is probably the worst habit ever. Then I paused and realized, wow, this isn’t just me being nervous; it’s like my body’s way of screaming “HELP!” without actually yelling. And of course, I didn't mention it to anyone because, you know, who wants to sound like a total drama queen? But then again, it made me think about how many people deal with this sorta thing, right?

In my head, I was just trying to convince myself that it was normal, that everyone gets anxious about presentations, but man, when those tics take over, it feels like I'm a puppet on strings, moving uncontrollably. Some days I feel like I need to put my foot down and say, "Listen, body, you can chill," but then it’s like reality hits and I’m just another 21-year-old trying to figure out life. It’s honestly exhausting! Some people might suggest breathing exercises or meditation, and I’ve tried those, but it’s like my brain is this buzzy little hamster on a wheel, just going and going with no signs of stopping. Plus, who has the time to sit in silence when there are notifications going off every five seconds? It’s like the more I try to relax, the more on edge I feel. Ever been in that spot where you're so wound up that you can't even think straight?

I guess I should be thankful that I at least recognize these tics for what they are; it could be worse, I know. But, sometimes, I can't help but doubt if I’m even managing it right. Like, each time I notice myself scratching my wrist or tapping my pencil to the point where it’s practically splintering, it’s this annoying reminder that I still have a long way to go. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel like they're in control, am I right?! It’s frustrating to think about how these little behaviors can throw me off my game, especially when I'm out with friends. Like they'll be laughing and having a good time, and I’m sitting there, trying to hide the fact that I'm about to burst into a ball of anxiety. It's tough trying to blend in when you feel like you’re standing out for all the wrong reasons. So, yeah, if you’ve got any tricks to calm those nerves or manage those sneaky little anxiety tics, I’m all ears;

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about my situation, and I need to get this off my chest. I’m 17 years old and, for as long as I can remember, anxiety has been a part of my life. I constantly feel on edge; it's like there’s this invisible weight sitting on my chest, squeezing harder with every passing day. Sometimes, I wonder, "can you get disability for anxiety?" I’ve heard stories about other people getting help, but I’m really not sure how it works. The idea of living with this kind of anxiety forever terrifies me, and I worry that if I don’t get help soon, my situation could go from bad to worse. It’s like I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff, not knowing if I’ll fall or find some sort of solid ground.

in school, I often find myself staring blankly at my desk, too overwhelmed to focus on the lesson. I try to distract myself with thoughts of what I’ll do once I graduate or how I want to travel, but the anxiety creeps back in like an uninvited guest. A few weeks ago, I had a panic attack during a test and, honestly, it was one of the worst feelings ever. I felt embarrassed; everyone was looking at me, and I just wanted to disappear. I heard from a friend that they got accommodations for their anxiety, and it got me really thinking: is it possible for me to get something similar? Would going through the process of applying for disability be worth it? And what happens if I get turned down? It’s a lot to think about…

I did some research and found out that, according to the SSA, to qualify for disability benefits, you generally need to demonstrate that your condition severely limits your ability to work. But that’s where things get tricky. Anxiety isn’t always visible like a physical injury, and I often feel like I need to prove I'm suffering. My reflection is like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands; it’s there, but I can’t hold onto it. I keep hearing, “You need a diagnosis,” but I’ve been hesitant to speak to a professional. Talking about my feelings is really tough for me; I think about going to a therapist or counselor, but then I question if they'll really understand what I'm going through. Is it worth the risk of being vulnerable? Should I be gathering evidence of my anxiety so I can substantiate my claim if it comes to that? So many questions and uncertainties…

eventually, I guess I’ll have to make a decision, but for now, I feel stuck in a rut. I keep telling myself I should take that first step either way—whether that means reaching out to a therapist for advice or starting the application process for disability benefits. Part of me thinks about what others might say if they find out; will they judge me? Will they say I’m just trying to take the easy way out? This whole situation feels like a never-ending maze; it’s disorienting, and I don’t really know which way to turn. there’s this constant whirlwind of thoughts swirling around my mind, and I just wish for a bit of clarity!! I wonder what other people have done in similar situations? It’s like, am I the only one trying to figure this all out? I guess I’m reaching out to you, random readers, hoping for some kind of insight or advice on how you’ve managed your own experiences. Thanks for listening rather than judging; it means a lot when all I seem to do is worry!

I'm a teenager and ftm. I've been identifying as a male for 2 years now and I've got a binder but i hardly pass as male and everytime i try to tell a stranger I'm male they just go 'no you arent!' (because we're still in school and kids are like that :/) i really really wanna pass. Does anyone have any tips? Well, i also have a story i can tell you as compensation! Once this happened again. I was in the gym, waiting for my bus after school because i ride the late bus, and then some guy 2 grades below me like hit on me or something(?) and one my little sister's friend, who sits with me while waiting for our respective bus's said "one; that thing is a man. And two; that thing has a girlfriend." And they went 'thats a boy??? That's not a boy." As usual. So, i got up and said "im more of a man than you are." Bc im a whiny btch who gets pissed off at anyone who shows any sign of intolerance towards me or my friends. Anygay- any tips pls?

if a another teacher gives me another 4x6 note card I might flip. Anyways… any tips for a girl?😫

I’m put into a position where I have to choose who to live with. Either my grandma or my mom and it’s hard because I love them both and I hate that I’m forced here. My mom is going to move out because my grandma says that she brings trouble to the house and because my mom forgave her boyfriend after he hit her and took her car. So my grandma is making my mom move out so my mom and her boyfriend can live together instead of bringing him here to where I’m currently staying (which is in a home with my grandma and my mom). Today my grandma asked me “Your mother is looking for a place to live. I assume you’ll stay here with me, right?” <— (In Spanish) and all I did was look down. I didn’t give her a clear answer so she shrugged it off but it makes my chest ache, feeling like my family is falling apart and there’s nothing I can do. I don’t want to have to choose who to live with, I just want things to be happy.

And on top of all of that I just wish I could have a dad to go to. “Daddy issues” is so sexualized but it’s not my fault my own father isn’t there for me emotionally / mentally so now every time I see a dad and daughter having a healthy relationship it makes me cry and I get so jealous that it hurts. My mom doesn’t have her shit together, she’s always coddling her boyfriend and there’s no privacy with her or her boyfriend because of a camera I mentioned in one of my other vent stories. I just wish I had both of them, a mom to go to that respects my privacy and can just comfort me and a dad who can do the same. But I’m 15 and I’m already aware of the dangers online so I don’t trust easy anymore after having a couple online friends that talked behind my back to my boyfriend. My boyfriend also has his own things that he’s going through and I don’t want to burden him so I wish I could have my own online family. Like a little support system to escape reality.

I wish there was a way to factory reset my family, lol.

i wanna start this by saying i don't do drugs or anything, never even smoked a cigarrete or drinked like heavy you know, so this not about that lol 😂 but still… why do i feel high when i’m not?? like my head sometimes go so foggy, and lights feel brighter and sounds feel louder and everything be moving slow?? it happen in school mostly or when i walk outside and there’s like too much stuff going on. like today we was in math and miss started talking 'bout logarithms and ratios and boom i couldn’t even look at the board. my brain was like floating??? 😵 i blinked a lot and rub my eyes but that don’t help nothing. is this what derealization is or something? like, i don’t know if it’s that cause i ain’t got no trauma or nothing major like that. i’m just a normal dude with too much thoughts maybe. like i be overthinking all the time, even when nothing’s wrong. could that be it? could overthinking make your brain feel fried like that? sometimes i just feel like i’m watching my life, like watching a movie, not really living it. it’s weird. it’s not scary all the time but sometimes it is... when i can’t snap out of it and my heart start racing and i feel like the room’s spinning. but i’m sitting down!! 😭 and my friends think i’m zoning out or daydreaming or something but nah it’s not that easy to explain. it’s like i’m there but not really there. hard to write it out but that’s the best i got;

i was in the bus the other day and the sun was hitting just right through the window and my music was loud in my headphones and everything felt unreal. like i was on something for real. i looked at people walking and it was like they was in slow motion or something. i even smiled for no reason, like i was calm but confused. and then later when i got home i had a headache and had to sleep for two hours just to feel normal again. 😴 it’s starting to happen more often now. last year it happened like once every two weeks, now it’s like every other day. and it’s not just the floaty feeling… my legs get heavy, my speech feel weird, like i talk too slow or too fast. i asked my mom if i could be low in sugar or like have some blood pressure thing and she said maybe it’s just “mental fatigue” 😐 what even is that bro. teachers say i’m smart, i get good grades, i pay attention, but my body feels like it’s on airplane mode half the time. and when it hit me during gym class?? bro. i swear i almost tripped running laps, like my body didn’t wanna listen to my brain anymore. this not anxiety i think, cause i’m not scared, i’m just… disconnected? like unplugged from the world or something. and i don’t even be on my phone that much!! i do sports, i got friends, i eat ok i guess. so why this happen? is this what burnout feels like? even at 17??

some people would probly say it’s stress or hormones or like growing pains in the brain but idk man, it don’t feel normal. like it feel medical maybe. but when i told the nurse at school she said to drink more water 💧 and i do, i swear. it’s not about that. something inside just don’t line up sometimes. my brain be like too aware and not aware at the same time. and it don’t help that when i try explain it people just laugh like “oh you’re just baked bro” but i’m not! that’s the whole point!! i don’t even know what high feels like really but this ain’t right. i just wanna know what’s going on, why this keep happening and if it’s dangerous or just annoying. cause sometimes i feel like maybe i just got a brain that glitches and this how it show. like software lag or when wifi goes weird. is that even possible in a human brain?? if you feel like that too let me know cause i feel like the only one sometimes 😞 it’s not ruining my life or anything but it’s bugging me, and i want answers, not jokes or “you need to sleep more” stuff. what if it gets worse? what if one day i can’t come back from it? anyway thanks for reading if you got this far, i just had to get it off my chest... maybe that’ll help a bit. maybe not.

I’ve been working at this company for only a few weeks now, and honestly, I’m already exhausted by how much self-control it takes to be kind all the time. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not rude, and I don’t snap at anyone, but internally? I’m fighting a war every day just to keep my mouth shut. Some of these coworkers act like they’ve never heard of basic courtesy or professional boundaries. They overshare, they interrupt, they make assumptions, and it’s like I’m expected to keep smiling through all of it. Clients aren’t much better. You can be polite, patient, even go out of your way to help—and still, they’ll throw some passive-aggressive comment your way or complain that you didn’t “sound friendly enough.” I get it; everyone has their own crap to deal with, and maybe I’m being too sensitive. But seriously, how are you supposed to be kind when people keep pushing your buttons?!! I try to breathe through it, tell myself it’s just a job, it’s just people being people, but it’s tough. And the worst part is—I want to be kind. I want to be seen as someone who’s approachable, easy to work with, someone who makes things better, not worse. But when you’re constantly dealing with entitled attitudes and phony small talk, it becomes less about kindness and more about performance. And that performance wears you out.

The thing is, I don’t think I’m mean. I just think I’m running out of energy to fake warmth all the time. Is kindness supposed to feel this forced? I watch some of my coworkers smile so easily, laugh with clients, crack jokes in meetings—and I wonder, how do they do it?? Are they not tired? Are they not annoyed? Or am I just wired differently? There’s this pressure to keep up the vibe, be the guy who’s always positive, who never rolls his eyes, never says the thing everyone’s thinking but knows they shouldn’t. But suppressing those reactions—it’s messing with my head. It feels dishonest. And yet, saying what you really feel? That gets you labeled difficult or unprofessional. So I sit there, nodding, agreeing, thanking people who make my job harder, pretending not to care when someone takes credit for something I did. I replay conversations in my head on the way home, wondering if I sounded cold, if I should’ve smiled more, if I was too blunt. And it’s not just about how others see me; I don’t want to turn bitter. I’ve seen what that looks like, and it’s ugly. So I try, every day, to show kindness even when it doesn’t feel earned—especially then, actually; because I guess that’s the whole point of kindness, right? But it’s not easy. And some days, I wonder if anyone notices. Or cares. Maybe I’m just overthinking the whole thing. But you ever feel like being kind is more about survival than sincerity? Like, if you stop being kind, everything around you would collapse? What’s the line between being a decent person and being a doormat? 🧠

At 26 years old, I find myself wandering through a labyrinth of ideologies that pit spirituality against organized religion; it’s as bewildering as trying to navigate a dense fog with no clear path ahead. A few weeks ago, I attended a church service that was supposed to be uplifting—the pastor eloquently spoke about love, grace, and the importance of community. I expected to feel enlightened, but instead, I dragged myself home feeling empty. I remember thinking, “Is this it? Is this what faith is supposed to feel like?” Similarly, on another day, I swayed to the rhythms of a local spiritual gathering that promised enlightenment through meditation and collective energy. People were chanting and holding hands, seeking connections beyond the physical. I wanted to feel that current of cosmic energy flowing through me, but instead, I was plagued by the nagging thought: “What if all of this is just a placebo effect?” It’s frustrating to oscillate between these two worlds—each with its proponents vigorously asserting their narratives while dismissing the other’s merit. A good friend once remarked, “Being religious means believing in something, whereas being spiritual means believing in everything,” which left me more puzzled than ever. Is it possible that these categories are merely constructs that serve to confine the vastness of human experience? Honestly, I don’t know; the ambiguity is suffocating. Just the other night, I sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor, surrounded by a hodgepodge of religious texts and spiritual books, feeling like I was compiling a thesis on a subject I barely understood. I skimmed some passages—Buddha’s teachings on mindfulness contrasted starkly with the heavy doctrines of the Catholic faith; one promised inner peace, the other eternal salvation. It's like choosing between two different types of refuge, both equally enticing yet fundamentally distinct. One may claim, “Follow your personal truth,” but what if your truth is yet to be discovered or, worse, fabricated? ✨

Why is it so difficult to harmonize these beliefs? In the pursuit of clarity, I’ve engaged in endless debates with friends who identify as yogis or fundamentalists; they each argue fiercely for their path, yet here I am, stuck in a perpetual limbo. One afternoon, I found myself in a particularly disconcerting conversation with a devout Muslim woman who discussed the beauty of prayer and community while I could not help but admire her dedication yet felt a pang of longing for the fluidity of spirituality that evades rigid structures. Is a structured belief system inherently restrictive? Or does it provide guidance where spirituality assumes an almost abstract, chaotic essence? I frequently ponder if these traditions are mere vessels of cultural heritage, and how absurd is it that instead of embracing the richness of diverse practices, I find myself shackled in indecision? I often wonder if faith is merely an escapade into the unknown, shrouded in the allure of transcendence but ultimately leading us back to the same existential questions: What is our purpose? What happens when we die?

As I exercise my cognitive faculties to decode the meanings of ‘spirituality’ versus ‘religion,' I can’t shake off the dire feeling that I’m constructing a metaphysical house of cards that could collapse with just the slightest breeze of doubt. “Why do I have to choose when possibly it’s all just an intricate tapestry of beliefs?” I silently scream to the universe, hoping for an answer that never comes. I turn to books, podcasts, and online courses—each touting formulas for a fulfilling spiritual life or an unwavering faith—but do they actually coalesce? Or am I just grasping at straws, hoping for a divine revelation that appears to allude me? I grapple with the paradox that my quest for truth grows heavier with the weight of expectation and self-imposed timelines; I find myself frantically circling back to my fundamental question: Do I desire the grounded morals of religion, or the expansive possibilities of spirituality? Each evening, I lay awake, hoping that someday both worlds can harmonize, creating a holistic framework that resonates with my soul rather than trapping it; Feeling lost has never felt more suffocating. It begs the question: Is anyone else out there wrestling with this dissonance? Does anyone grapple with whether to leap into the arms of tradition or float in the vast ocean of spirituality?

it's kinda hard to deal with the realization that you’re gay after trying to convince yourself for years that you’re straight. like, I wanted to fit in, y'know? society puts so much pressure on us to be this ideal version. I've dated girls, gone through the motions, but deep down it didn’t feel right. hiding was easier. I thought that maybe I just hadn’t met the right girl or I was just going through a phase; but here I am at 19, alone with my thoughts, and it hits like a ton of bricks. my friends don’t get it, and sometimes I don’t either. they talk about girls like it’s the best thing ever while I’m just sitting there, nodding along, feeling so disconnected from what they’re saying. I thought about it a lot, questioning if I’d ever come out. what if no one understands? you know what I mean? 😕

there's a part of me that wonders if everyone else is just pretending or if I'm the odd one out. I can't shake off this feeling like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not; like a whole life crafted around a lie. every time I scroll through social media, I think about how many people are living authentically. and here I am, struggling to embrace my truth. sometimes it feels like I'm caught in a cycle of denial, questioning my feelings—was I wired differently? was it all just confusion? I start overthinking, feeling negative and doubt creeping in like a shadow. it’s perplexing, yet oddly comforting to finally have a label yet still feel so unsure about every aspect of it. I wonder, does anyone else understand this? do you feel this stuckness too; do you know what that's like?