Couple Stories

Sometimes I sit in my car for a few extra minutes before going back inside. It’s not like there’s anything waiting for me in there that I don’t already know—dinner needs to be made, the kids are probably arguing over something ridiculous, and my husband will be in his usual spot, watching TV or scrolling on his phone, barely noticing I’ve come back. It’s not that he’s a bad man. He’s never been abusive, never been mean, never done anything that would make people say I should leave him. But he also doesn’t do anything. No affection, no deep conversations, no laughter that isn’t forced. Just routine, the same boring loop we’ve been stuck in for years. And I hate that I sound ungrateful, because he works hard, he provides for all of us, and I know plenty of women have it worse. But does that mean I’m just supposed to accept that this is it? That life is just chores and parenting and making sure everyone else is okay while I slowly feel like I’m disappearing?

I wasn’t always like this. I used to be fun, I used to have dreams. I wanted to travel, I wanted to do something creative, I wanted a marriage that actually felt like a partnership instead of just coexisting. But we had kids, and then another, and then another, and suddenly my entire identity became mom while my husband kept being... himself. He still has his job, his hobbies, his space, while I feel like my whole world has shrunk to the walls of this house. And I know, I chose to stay home. It made sense financially. His job pays well enough that I don’t have to work, and childcare would have eaten up most of anything I made anyway. But now, years later, I see the trap I walked into. I have no career, no financial independence, and no way out even if I wanted one. If I left, how would I support myself? How would I support them? And I don’t even know if I want to leave. That’s the worst part. It’s not like there’s someone else. It’s not like I think divorce would magically fix everything. But I also don’t know how to spend the rest of my life feeling like this—like I’m just existing instead of living.

I’ve tried talking to him before. Told him I feel lonely, that I miss who we used to be, that I need something to break the routine. He listens, nods, says yeah, I get it—and then nothing changes. No date nights, no little surprises, no effort. Just the same routine, day after day, year after year. Maybe he thinks this is normal, maybe he’s fine with things the way they are, maybe he doesn’t even realize how much of me has faded away. And I don’t know what to do with that. I keep telling myself that once the kids are older, maybe I can find a job, maybe I can get back some piece of myself that I lost along the way. But what if by then it’s too late? What if I wake up at 50 and realize I wasted all my years waiting for a life that was never gonna come? I don’t know the answer, and honestly, I don’t know if there is one. All I know is I’m feeling trapped, and I don’t know how to break free.

I was in a wreck almost 2 years ago it has made me only able to walk with crutches on good day and wheelchair on bad days me and my husband have been happy but recently he told me " 1 miss having someone to walk with and hold hands with and isn't a burden and someone I can walk along the damn with I didn't sign up to be a caregiver this effects me more then it does you

" when in reality I'm the one most effected because we have a kid I can't chase him and play with him like I should I'm missing out on doing stuff with him unlike my husband I watch them play all the time outside, since that day I just hate my life because of this I hate not being able to walk and hold hands play with our kid, he can get out of the house whenever he wants to l can't l'm stuck here 24/7 he doesn't even wanna take me out to eat or anywhere when I'm able to use a cane because he doesn't like people looking at him, l didn't ask for this I feel like a burden everyday since it happened and now l'll how he feels

Oh to be in my girlfriend’s arms again..

Hi so basically i love my gf she’s genuinely the best i wish i was always there for her. Genuinely life would be so much easier if we lived together . We both have family issues and yearn the day that we actually go pick out an apartment and live together for the rest of our lives ..

we’ve been dating for almost a year and im so excited for the day that we officially get to one whole year of dating. I feel like time passed by so fast. When i first asked her to be my gf i was so nervous i even went to ask her friend for advice and when she said yes i was just a smiling mess the whole day at skl.

God i love this girl so much I genuinely wanna marry her. It probably sounds stupid since im 16 but i mean it with my whole heart, shes the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i cant imagine my world without her

I’m turning 40 this year! Hubby said he would love to do something nice for me but doesn’t know how and asked for my help. I like to think he wants me to choose a venue and he can take it from there, maybe? Or how much help does he need? How much of this will I be planning? I would like it to be from him; idc if it’s a surprise party or not. We have a good relationship but I wonder how much he really knows me. I told him to ask my girlfriends for help. But we do have this relationship rule where we don’t text or talk to people of the opposite sex alone without the other CCd or around in person. Fair enough. So how can I encourage him to do this on his own? For the big 4-0, I don’t want to have to be involved unless asked “which flavor cake would you like?” Lol

For his 40th, I asked my party planning friends for help. I’m not super creative but they helped me narrow down some ideas and we pulled off a nice get-together with some friends and family. No biggie. We aren’t ones for huge Hollywood-style shindigs. I’m not asking for anything big. It just really bothered me he is asking ME for help to plan MY birthday. How can I respond to him without sounding like a spoiled brat?

My husband cheated with his ex wife before we got married. I found out about a month before the wedding. I went ahead with the marriage because I was blindly in love. They have to talk all the time because they have a young child. I'm ok most of the time but when I have to be around his ex at sports, birthday parties, ect. It weighs on my mind. I start to scrutinize their every interaction.Last week, I was at their daughter's ball game and when she got a runner out, he looked toward his ex to share that moment with her. I've decided to quit going to going to games and this has made him mad. I also compare myself to her. She's taller, thinner, and younger. They have a friendly relationship and it eats me up. He says it's just for their daughters sake. His daughter is 8 and still sucks her thumb. We argue about this too. I want her to stop but it g do odd t bother him. I said it was embarrassing to be with her in public. He says I have mental problems and I'm being immature. What are your thoughts and or suggestions.

I've been in a relationship for several years now.

At the start, everything felt loving, and the honeymoon phase was wonderful. My partner was always very vocal about how much they cared for me, and each day I woke up feeling hopeful and excited about what we would do next. Trips to the park, to the movies. Anywhere was a delight, as long as they were with me.

Still, we both had our flaws. Mine, I felt, were detrimental to the relationship.

I decided to seek therapy to work on myself.

Recently, both of us have been going through difficult patches in our lives. Although I tried not to burden them, I eventually allowed myself to lean on them for support. They lashed out in response. I didn’t know what was going on in their life because they hadn’t shared it with me. Once they told me they were hurting, I realized their harsh words came from a place of pain. While it wasn’t okay for them to take it out on me, I understood that something in their life must be very wrong for them to react that way.

I wanted to sit down with them and have an open conversation about it, but it’s been difficult. Every day, my partner curses at me, makes me feel like I need to progress faster in therapy, and shuts down the conversation before I get a chance to speak. They still refuse to admit they've done anything hurtful, let alone wrong. I want to be here for them, but I don't know if I can keep being their emotional punching bag. I’ve been waking up in tears every day, and now I’m genuinely scared to be around them.

I keep hoping that today will be the day they hear the sharpness in their words while they speak, take a step back, and apologize for how they've been treating me. But it hasn't happened yet.

I am currently under a lot of stress due to having te move, so I didn't celebrate my birthday. After forgetting valentines day, my bf promised me this saturday would be my day and I may choose something I wanted to do together. We haven't been on dates in so long and I loved that idea!

Now, I have come up with so many things to do and he is so negative about all my ideas. (Zoo, arcadehall etc) I actually don't even want to go anymore, he does this a lot. Everytime I want to do something it never happens or I have to beg for it for months, and even if we do stuff he is withdrawing himself.

I really looked forward to having a date with him again, and I am tired of having to plan something, just for him to act this way.

If we do something he enjoys I always (even if I don't fully like it) try to enjoy it and never be negative. But my feelings also matter and I am tired of my feelings being ignored. I have talked about his behaviour in the past, and he does agree that his behaviour is bad and told me he wants to work on it himself and that he doesn't need help.

Especially in the situation I am in rn. There is a housing crisis and it takes a lot of money and stress to move. We haven't gone out for months and I haven't had a nice fun thing in months. Everyday feels like surviving at this moment in this situation and I really looked forward to our date :/

I anonymously shared a story here a few days ago about being in a relationship that felt toxic and left me feeling like I was going crazy. I blamed myself a lot, only to realize that, by attempting to fix a relationship in such a broken state and with such a bad history, I was doing myself a disservice. I talked with close friends and made my resolve. I can't leave the toxic relationship right now because of a dependency issue. I will be leaving as soon as I get back my independence. I am making plans already to how I will go about saving up the money and running away without warning. My partner could change and be the person they always should of been, but then that would be far too late for me. It's been 4 years and I feel all the time I had wasted just to feel in the dating stages again for the 8 time or so. I am here to seek advice. I don't want anyone in running away from to suspect anything about me leaving. How to I cope with playing pretend all day and being in tears at night? I feel like I'm not myself anymore and with lots of anxiety about being found out too early. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share perspectives with me.

I feel awful. I was firmly convinced that my boyfriend was being controlling with me and when I read an article about the signs of being with a controlling partner I realized that actually my boyfriend isn't really that controlling, I am.

Why on earth do I meet every single criteria for what it means to be controlling in a relationship? And in the end of the article is the ab*sive hotline phone number.

Honestly, I'm worried about my own self and him. I keep telling him we should see a couples counselor, but he keeps saying in the future we will and that's not working for us. Initially, I looked up an article because I tried multiple times over the course of a few days to break up with him for being disrespectful to me and he would somehow convince me in the end to not break up.

I still think in his own way he is toxic and controlling, but I feel ashamed of myself. I feel stupid, too. I don't understand why I never even noticed that about myself before. He also never tells me directly that he thinks I'm being controlling, but I have told him when I think he is. I am scared of continuing being in this relationship with these behaviors of mine and his, too. It's just more reason to end the relationship, but he puts up resistance when I attempt to leave him. Now I see how we aren't a good fit for each other and it isn't just him. Idk how to get him to accept that it's over between us because we both need professional help.

I do actually have what I thought were solid reasons to explain my "controlling" behaviors and it really felt justified before reading the article. I would share it here too, but it's such a long story to be typing over a single text box. I guess I'm not entirely seeking any kind of advice. I'm mostly just venting. I am still trying to process that I wasn't as good of a partner as I felt I was all this time. I feel so guilty about things I possibly put my partner through without realizing. I wonder if I fix my end of the issues if he will just improve on his own as well or if it isn't worth it. I truly love him, I'm just afraid of wasting years of my life and his and in the end things fall apart. I don't want to fail if I invest everything I can into pur relationship together. I guess I'm unsure how to move forward with this and it's made me feel really upset.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months in the past couple weeks. He’s been really moody. I’m not sure what it is. I’ve asked him about it. I’ve explained that it’s making me feel down because he won’t explain and I feel useless as a girlfriend. The other day we were on call (luckily) as we haven’t called for a couple days and he was still upset so of course me being people pleaser I tried to make him laugh. I said that I was gonna hack and do school frame and spy on the campus cameras, (this is how we don’t take it seriously I would never do something like that) and he went into full detail of why I wasn’t gonna, and I told him that it was just a joke and that I was sorry. And then I said jokingly “you hate me, don’t you?” And he replied with “yeah, who wouldn’t hate a sensitive bitch like you” and I paused for almost 5 straight minutes wondering if you really said that or if I was just insane. he tried saying that he was just being sarcastic and that he didn’t mean it like that, but he yelled at me and I managed to squeeze out a “oh. Sorry.” And I hung up and cried myself myself to sleep. Ever since then he’s been really moody and I can’t even explain how different he is right now. I feel like he’s just lust. He only ever text me when he’s in a mood or when he wants something from me. I’m pretty much carrying the entire emotional relationship against me and him and just about a couple hours ago, he told me that he was cutting himself. I told him I wasn’t gonna be sensitive anymore. I told him to tell me what was going on as he wasn’t talking to me about anything and would just brush it off. I told him that I feel useless as a girlfriend. Which I really do. And how if he can’t talk to me who would he talk to my acknowledging? I am the only person ever talk to unless he’s hiding someone from me or people. I’ve told him I need to know that he can trust me and if he can’t, then I don’t know if we should be together anymore and I just asked him if he was gonna leave me because he has been showing no interest in me unless it’s for lust. I also feel like my body doesn’t excite him anymore. He’s really dry and always asked me to do something different and in person, he’s only ever talked about having sex. Never holding hands, never hugging never nothing only lust. I have told him that I don’t like the way he talks to me sometimes. I don’t think he realized what I meant. I’ve tried everything to do to go see him and he refuses to come see me even though he has nothing holding him back. Just he doesn’t want to. AITA for telling him that I don’t think he’s caring enough about me when I care too much about him? Even if he is in a bad place right now I still wanna feel special. I wanna feel loved. I’ve had my ups and downs and even I still push things away to comfort him. I feel like I’m giving up too much for him.

i am very insecure bout my body and all i can think of is how my bf would prolly be wishing for more or someone else. i might not be the prettiest or hottest to myself but i am sure that my body is uglier. i cant help it but to worry bout it more now that im in a relationship. i feel shit bout myself, i have no good grades, no talents or anything. it makes me wonder is hes staying only cuz i treat him right and im loyal cuz other girls werent. everytime we makeout i cant help it but to think "maybe hes thinking that the random girls he made out with had better tits and ass than me"or maybe thats why he follows girls with their clevage out or tits out in their profile? im so insecure that i could get a bbl done. my bf cant agree that i have big tits either. he doesnt even care to console me and it hurts that he doesnt give two shits, while i console him whole night staying up sacrificing my sleep for him while i have school, all he tells me is "dont worry you are hot" and literally thats it. i dont know who to talk to bout this cuz people will judge or say im overreacting but honestly it hurts at some point.

I've been in a relationship for 3 years and in like the last year, I've had feelings of regret more often. We have pur good moments and bad like normal relationships. But when we fight or have a disagreement and he's upset, for some topics I just can't understand his perspective. I understand being upset that's perfectly okay but it gets dragged out and I end up feeling dead inside. I can't help but think that I wouldn't have to go through this if I was single. But I can't exactly break up with him because he is a good person and he loves me a lot. I just can't shake off the regret feeling. I don't know if I'm overthinking and I should just ignore the feeling or bury it

Okay so I’ve been stressing about this for weeks now and I still don’t know what to do. How to break up with someone without completely crushing them?? Cuz no matter how I think about it, it’s gonna hurt, right?? I mean, he’s not a bad guy or anything, he’s actually really sweet and treats me well, but I just don’t feel it anymore. And that’s the worst part, cuz I can’t even give him a “real” reason other than I just... don’t want this anymore. Like, how do you tell someone who still loves you that you’re just done?? Every time I try to bring it up, I freeze or change the subject cuz I see the way he looks at me, like I’m his whole world, and I just can’t be the one to take that away from him. But at the same time, staying in this relationship just cuz I’m scared of hurting him is NOT fair, not to him and def not to me. I thought about doing it over text but that feels way too cold, and in person is just gonna be so awkward, I know he’s gonna ask why and what changed and I don’t even have a good answer. Should I just rip the bandaid off and say “Hey, I think we should break up” or do I soften it with “I still care about you but I don’t see this working long term”?? UGH it’s all so freaking complicated. I wish there was a way to do this without feeling like the worst person on earth but I know there’s not. And I know dragging it out is just making it worse, but every time I tell myself “okay, today’s the day,” I chicken out. Maybe there’s never a right way, maybe you just have to be honest and hope they understand. But what if he doesn’t?? What if he cries or worse, gets mad?? I just don’t wanna hurt him but I know staying is just lying at this point. Guess I just have to do it and deal with whatever happens after... god, why is this so hard??

Not sure if this is the right category but I desperately need to vent and get feedback on this. I have been separated from my husband for over a year and a half. We have a three year old son who spends weekdays with me and weekends with his father. I am a full time online college student and stay at home mom, so I get the majority of my homework done when my son is at his dad’s.

Every weekend, my ex will send me photos and videos of our son. Sometimes he’ll send a short message too, but usually just the photos/videos. If I don’t respond to him right away or in a timely manner, he will send me a passive aggressive message like “guess I’m back to being ignored.” Now, I am always busy when he sends these messages. Doing homework, catching up on housework, or even taking a shower. I try to make sure that I at least react to some of the photos to let him know I saw them and enjoyed them. But he still accuses me of ignoring him. And it’s always passive aggressive.

My reason for needing to vent today is the conversation that just happened. For context, I had an issue with my school’s bookstore this semester and only just got the textbook I needed for one of my classes. My instructor is amazing and extended the due dates of assignments for me, so I have 3 weeks of assignments to catch up on, plus work for another class. So I am very busy and need to concentrate. When I dropped my son off at his father’s yesterday, I told him that I had a lot of work to catch up on. This morning, my ex sent me pictures and videos of our son at the park. I took a moment’s break from my schoolwork to view them, sent a heart reaction to a couple, then put my phone down and continued working. 15 minutes later, I got a message saying “back to ignored again?” I took a deep breath to calm myself down, then took a picture of my open textbooks and sent it to him with the message: Thank you for sending videos but please stop assuming I’m ignoring you. I told you yesterday that I have 3 weeks worth of work to catch up on.

This is how the rest of the conversation went:

Ex: Sorry it's just I'm very alone and wanted to share some cool moments of T with someone. Good luck with your school work

Me: I understand that, but I am also tired of constantly being attacked and accused. It creates a lot of stress for me and distracts me from the things I need to do. In the future, please just assume I’m busy. I try to make sure that I react to the photos you send me to let you know I saw them and enjoyed them, and that’s usually all I’m able to do in that moment.

Ex: Always about you, sorry I tried to talk to you.

Me: I am trying to set a boundary. I am trying to communicate with you, to tell you how your words, your accusations of me ignoring you, are affecting me.

Have a good weekend, Simon. Give my love to T, please.

Ex: Look, I'm sorry I tried to talk to you. I was just feeling alone and wanted to to share some cool moments with our son with someone. You have no empathy for anyone other than yourself. I don't know why I keep forgetting that. I'm stupid I suppose.

Me: Maybe instead of accusing me of ignoring you, you could say something like “doesn’t he look like he’s having fun?”

If you want to talk to someone, you shouldn’t accuse them of something first, unless you are looking to start a fight.

Ex: I'm never looking to start a fight. You should know that about me. I didn't say anything because if I say words to you, you'll ignore them and I'll feel shit about myself, like I'm not even worth the 5 seconds it takes to reply.

Me: Ok.

He hasn’t said anything else since, but it is eating me up inside and I have no one else to talk to right now. Am I wrong?? Should I have dropped everything to respond to the photos besides liking them? I already have to watch what I say to him, because using words like “we” upsets him because he immediately assumes I’m seeing someone else. I’m not and am usually referring to my mom, whom I am living with.

I’m just so hurt and angry and confused right now.