Couple Stories

it seems that every time I search for help with my marriage, I’m bombarded with ads from love coaches promising to save my relationship for a mere small fortune, and honestly, it’s starting to drive me crazy. I mean, why does every piece of advice about marriage and relationships have to come with a price tag? I’m a 41-year-old guy who’s been married for over fifteen years, and things have not been easy lately. I thought turning to the internet would give me some insights from people who have been there, done that, you know? But every click leads me down a rabbit hole of expensive eBooks, online courses, and consultations that seem more about lining someone's pockets than actually providing real help. Is it just me, or do other people feel that the romantic advice industry is a total scam? I started searching for free resources—blogs, forums, whatever I could find—hoping to stumble across someone who genuinely wants to share their experiences instead of trying to market something. Now, don’t get me wrong, I get that everyone has to make a living, but sometimes it feels like the pursuit of love has turned into a business opportunity for a lot of folks out there. Honestly, I find it disheartening and slightly disingenuous. A lot of the free advice I managed to find was stuff like: "just communicate better" or "try to understand your partner's love language." Really? That’s it? It's like tossing around generic platitudes without any real substance behind them. Don't we deserve more than that when we're trying to navigate the complex waters of a long-term relationship? One of the biggest issues in my marriage right now is that my wife feels neglected, and I completely understand why, but expressing that to her is so much harder than it seems. It feels like there’s this invisible distance growing, and no matter how many times I read “quality time is key,” it doesn’t change the fact that there are genuine hurdles in connecting with her amid life’s overwhelming chaos. Do any of you know what it’s like to feel like you're tiptoeing on eggshells in your own home, afraid that saying the wrong thing could cause another argument? It’s exhausting. So, I started thinking, wouldn’t it be helpful if people shared real stories of overcoming relational pitfalls instead of charging for ‘insider secrets’? I mean, we all deal with different struggles—financial stress, work-life balance, parenting pressures—but where’s the collection of lived experiences that could actually provide comfort or insight? (Also, I wonder about the role of vulnerability in these discussions.) Maybe I’m idealistic, but genuine human connection shouldn’t have a price tag, right? And isn’t it odd how some people claim they can fix your relationship without even knowing you or your partner? What gives them that right? Aren’t relationships as unique as the people in them? While I was trying to find answers, I began jotting down my thoughts and the problems I face, and I can’t help but wonder if there’s value in that for others too. Is there something cathartic in sharing our struggles, in being real about our shortcomings without a sales pitch? I think there is. So, dear reader, have you ever found yourself in a similar spot? Perhaps you’ve tried seeking advice only to find it buried under a mountain of advertisements? In a way, I’m feelin’ like my own therapist here, as I write this down. The other day, I stumbled upon a forum where people shared their relationship stories for free, and it felt so refreshing. Some were heartbreaking, some were filled with laughter, and some provided actionable steps that didn’t cost an arm and a leg. It was like a breath of fresh air, and I left feeling encouraged rather than frustrated. Yet, it's a shame that these platforms are not mainstream. Why is it so hard to find genuine support without a catch? Is it possible that people are really more concerned about money than about truly helping others? Maybe I should just put my experiences out there and see if they resonate with anyone, no strings attached. If anyone feels like sharing their experiences, it could be therapeutic, right? Aren’t we all looking for that sense of community and support during our tough times? Just asking these questions makes me believe that we can find common ground in our struggles, whether it’s overcoming miscommunication or learning how to prioritize each other amid the stressors of daily life. So, what do you think? Can we create a space where we uplift each other without diving into that money pit of love coaching?

So, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over six months now, and I absolutely adore him. He’s sweet, funny, and we have a solid connection most of the time. The only small issue that keeps creeping up is our conversations. I feel like we sometimes run out of things to talk about, and it gets kind of awkward, you know? 😂 Am I alone in this? I can’t be the only one who sometimes stares at their boyfriend, waiting for some sort of magical topic to pop into my head.

I think part of the issue might be that we both tend to be a bit shy, or maybe we just don't know how to dive deeper into certain subjects. Like, we can chat about our favorite movies or what we did over the weekend, but when it comes to more meaningful conversation, it feels like we kind of hit a wall. Does anyone else feel like they struggle with this? I mean, I want to get to know him better, but sometimes I just don't know what to ask. Should I be throwing random questions at him, or would that feel too forced? There are only so many times you can ask someone, “What’s your favorite color?” before it feels like a game of 20 Questions for kids.

The other day, I decided to try something new. While we were chilling on the couch, I brought up some topics from a random "get to know you" list I found online. I started with something easy, like “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?” He laughed and shared this hilarious story from his childhood that involved him tripping over his shoelaces in front of his crush. It was such a genuine moment, and it made me realize how important it is to ask the right questions. Why is it so easy to default to small talk when there’s so much more to discover about each other?

After that conversation, I wanted to keep building on it. I started asking him about his goals and dreams, his thoughts on relationships, what makes him feel secure, and where he sees himself in the next five years. It got surprisingly deep really fast, and I felt like we were connecting in a way we hadn’t before. However, I also wondered if I was pushing too hard or if it’s just good to be open about these things? Do you all think there’s a balance between playful banter and serious talk, or am I overthinking it?

At the end of the day, I’m really eager to make our conversations more meaningful but also keep the lighthearted vibe we both enjoy. I’m also curious to know if anyone has any tips on topics that work well for their relationships? That would seriously help me out. I think it’s just a bit of a learning curve, and I’m willing to put in the effort to deepen our connection, but I genuinely wonder if other people have similar struggles too. So please, share your stories; are there certain questions you’ve found helpful or fun when talking with your partner? I’m all ears!

In a relationship that seems perfect from the outside, it's funny how there can be an undercurrent of secrets just beneath the surface. My boyfriend, Jake, is everything I thought I'd ever wanted: charming, funny, and incredibly attentive. He knows how to make me laugh, how to listen when I need to vent, and he seems to genuinely care about my feelings. But there’s a layer of my life that he knows nothing about, and I question whether I should ever reveal it to him. Have you ever felt trapped by your own secrets, teetering on the edge of wanting to share but terrified of the fallout?

For the past year, I’ve been living with a burden that’s becoming increasingly heavy. Before I met Jake, I had a different life filled with reckless choices and a wild side that is almost entirely hidden from him. When I think about those times, I can't help but feel a twinge of embarrassment. I was carefree but also naïve, often putting myself in precarious situations that could have gone horribly wrong. It was the kind of life that seemed exciting at the time but ultimately lacked substance. As I delve into this side of myself, I realize how juxtaposed it is with the woman I’ve become since being with him. Would he still love me if he discovered what I had done, or would he see me in a completely different light, one that I can’t control?

The catalysts for my decision to hide this side of me were many. My past includes nights out that ended in chaos, relationships that were toxic, and moments where I put myself at risk, all in the name of fun and adventure. But I want to be seen as a responsible adult, someone who has their life on track. I carefully crafted a narrative to present to Jake; one where I’m a woman who’s made some mistakes but has learned from them, rather than a wild child who danced on the edge of danger. I often wonder if I'm betraying his trust by not being transparent about my history. Is holding back information simply an act of self-preservation, or is it a deceitful act in itself?

Moreover, I often find myself questioning the future we might have together. Will this secret haunt me, or at some point, will I feel compelled to share the truth? When we talk about our dreams and plans for the future, I can see us building a life together filled with happiness and love. But will I always carry the fear of him finding out on my shoulders? Would his perspective on ‘us’ change if he knew the entirety of my past? I can't help but to think: how would you respond if you found out your partner had a side they kept hidden? Would you view them through a lens of judgment or understanding, or would it make you question their integrity?

The thing is, I love Jake and appreciate the stability he brings to my life, but the shadows of my past loom over me, whispering that I am not the person he thinks I am. There’s a nagging sense of hypocrisy in presenting myself as someone who’s grown past that old life when parts of me still feel that urge for freedom and recklessness. Still, I choose to remain silent, at least for now. The thought of losing him terrifies me more than my own memories. Yet I am left wondering: is it fair to keep this piece of myself hidden, or is a relationship built on half-truths worth having at all?

I’m 32, been married to Jake for eight years now, and I gotta say, things ain’t what they used to be, especially when it comes to sex with my husband. Back when we were dating, and even the first couple years of marriage, it was like we couldn’t keep our hands off each other—stolen kisses in the kitchen, sneaking off during family gatherings, the whole deal. But lately, it’s like I’m invisible to him. I catch myself staring in the mirror, poking at the extra softness around my belly, the stretch marks from carrying our two kids, the way my boobs don’t sit as perky as they did at 24. I feel like I’m not as attractive as I was, and it’s eating me up inside. Jake’s still handsome as ever—those broad shoulders, that easy smile—but he barely looks at me that way anymore. We’re lucky if we have sex once a month, and even then, it feels like he’s just going through the motions, like it’s a chore or something. I try to spice things up, you know? I bought this lacy red lingerie set last month, spent way too much on it, and when I slipped it on and walked into the bedroom, he barely glanced up from his phone. “You look nice,” he mumbled, then went right back to scrolling. Nice? Nice is what you say about a new throw pillow, not your wife trying to seduce you. I felt so stupid standing there, like some desperate teenager. I don’t know if it’s me, if I’ve let myself go too much, or if he’s just not into me anymore. I mean, I’m not the same size 6 I was when we met, but I’m not a slob either—I work out when I can, chase our kids around all day, keep the house together. Still, I can’t shake this feeling that he’s comparing me to who I used to be, or worse, to other women. I’ve seen the way he lingers on Instagram models or those stupid ads that pop up, all flawless skin and tiny waists. It’s not like he’s cheating, at least I don’t think so, but it’s like he’s checked out. I’ve tried talking to him, dropping hints, even straight-up asking what’s wrong, but he just shrugs and says he’s tired or stressed from work. And yeah, I get it, his job’s demanding, and we’re both exhausted with a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old running us ragged, but shouldn’t we still want each other? I miss that spark, that heat we used to have, when he’d look at me like I was the only thing that mattered. Now, when we do have sex, it’s so… mechanical. No foreplay, no passion, just quick and done. I’m left lying there, staring at the ceiling, wondering what happened to us. I’ve read articles, listened to podcasts, even bought one of those “rekindle your marriage” books, but it’s hard to fix something when only one of you seems to care. I’ve tried initiating, but getting rejected—or worse, that pitying “okay, fine” vibe—hurts worse than not trying at all. I wonder if he’s bored, or if he’s got some secret resentment he’s not telling me about. Maybe it’s not even about me—maybe he’s struggling with something he won’t share. I know men can have their own issues, like low testosterone or stress, but he won’t talk about it, won’t see a doctor, nothing. I’m scared to push too hard and make it worse, but I’m also scared of what happens if we keep drifting like this. I love Jake, I really do. He’s a great dad, a good provider, but I need more than a roommate. I need to feel wanted, desired, like I’m still his girl, you know? I keep thinking maybe I need to do more—lose the baby weight, get a makeover, be sexier somehow—but deep down, I know it’s not just about how I look. It’s about us, about whatever’s broken between us. I’ve been thinking about suggesting counseling, but I’m terrified he’ll think I’m overreacting or that it’ll make things awkward. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t care enough to try? I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to keep feeling like this either—like I’m begging for scraps of affection. I just want my husband back, the one who couldn’t wait to rip my clothes off, who made me feel like I was enough. I don’t know how to get there, but I’m not ready to give up yet. Maybe I’ll try talking to him again, really lay it all out, typos and all, just like this messy, aching heart of mine.

My mom recently told me to “save myself” and get out of my relationship — essentially, to run. Ever since, I can’t stop thinking about it.

My partner and I have been together for just over 4 years. He proposed about a year ago. We’ve had highs and lows, but now I’m wondering if the bad outweighs the good.

He has long-standing mental health struggles: specifically, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex PTSD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He’s been slowly learning to manage them better. And to be clear, I don’t think mental illness excuses poor behavior, but I do believe it adds context.

I also have my own issues — I have an anxious attachment style, and while I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anything else, I know I carry some of my own trauma.

My mom knows about some of the incidents we’ve gone through. Sometimes, when he’s triggered or overwhelmed, he shifts into a cold, mean, and distant version of himself. He feels like a different person — which makes sense, given the DID. I try my best to support him and stay patient, but when these episodes last for days, it really affects me. I stop feeling loved or even seen.

He also sometimes talks to new people — sometimes romantically, sometimes not. We’ve had an open relationship on and off because his personality changes have made consistent boundaries complicated. But it’s hard not to feel insecure or like I’m being replaced, even though he says he loves me deeply and always will.

When he shuts down, he leaves. He won’t respond to texts or calls for hours or whole evenings. During the worst of these, I’ve called my mom in tears. Once, I asked him about someone he was messaging, and he exploded. He called me stupid, said I wasn’t “evolved enough” for him, and that he needed someone who trusts and motivates him. That crushed me — I was only asking for reassurance.

After these moments, he usually comes back, apologizes, and says he’s working on changing. He’s loving again, and we go back to “normal.” But it’s a cycle. The dark side always returns.

My mom thinks this is manipulation. She says he’s using me — I pay for most of our life right now, since he’s in school. She believes he apologizes just enough to keep me around because I support him financially and emotionally. She hasn’t seen the best parts of him… but she also hasn’t seen the worst. And if she knew everything, I think she’d try to physically get me out of here.

So now I’m left wondering:

• Is he being emotionally manipulative and possibly abusive?

• Or is this just a deeply broken person doing his best and deserving patience?

• Is my mom being overprotective, or is she seeing something I’ve been too close to recognize?

I’m stuck between wanting to support the person I love and wondering if staying means abandoning myself. What would you do?

Yo everyone, so I’m 21, and I’ve been with my girlfriend, Sarah, for like a year now. She’s awesome—funny, cute, and we vibe so well. But there’s this thing that’s been bugging me, and I feel kinda weird even typing it out. Sometimes, when we’re, y’know, getting intimate, she feels… loose? Like, not all the time, but enough that I’ve noticed. I ain’t trying to be a jerk or anything, I love her to death, but it’s got me wondering what’s up. Is it me? Her? Something else? I’ve been too embarassed to bring it up with her, so I figured I’d write it out here to make sense of it. Maybe someone’s got answers.

First off, I did some research—yeah, I Googled it, don’t judge. Turns out, there’s a ton of reasons this could happen. Like, women’s bodies are mad complex, and stuff like arousal, hormones, or even just where she’s at in her cycle can change how things feel down there. I read that when a girl’s super turned on, her muscles relax more, which can make things feel less tight. Sarah and I have a great time together, and she seems into it, so maybe that’s it? But then I also saw some stuff about pelvic floor muscles. Like, if they’re weak or something, it can affect tightness. I don’t know if that’s her deal, but she’s pretty active—yoga, running, all that—so I’m kinda skeptical. Still, it’s got me thinking maybe it’s just natural variation or whatever.

Then there’s the awkward part where I gotta look at myself. I ain’t no expert in the bedroom, but I’m not clueless either. Still, I wonder if I’m doing something wrong. Like, maybe I’m not getting her as excited as I think? Or maybe it’s my size or technique or whatever. I hate even thinking that, ‘cause it makes me feel like I’m not enough. Sarah’s never complained, and she seems happy, but my brain’s over here spiraling. I saw some posts online from other dudes saying they noticed the same thing, and a lot of ‘em said it’s normal, just depends on the day or the mood. But then you got those sketchy forums where guys start blaming their girls, and I’m like, nah, that ain’t it. Sarah’s amazing, and I’m not about to make this her fault.

Another thing I stumbled on was how stress or health stuff can play a role. Sarah’s in college, same as me, and she’s always juggling classes, her part-time job, and family drama. Sometimes she’s so stressed she barely sleeps. I read that stress can mess with your body in all kinda ways, including how your muscles work. Plus, she’s on birth control, and I saw that can affect lubrication or even muscle tone for some girls. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s got me wondering if it’s not about “loose” but just her body reacting to life. I feel bad even stressing about this, ‘cause she’s got so much on her plate, and here I am overthinking something that might not even be a big deal. Maybe I just need to chill and focus on making sure she’s feeling good, y’know?

At the end of the day, I love Sarah, and this ain’t gonna change that. I’m probably making it a bigger deal than it is. I mean, every time’s not gonna feel the same, right? Bodies are weird, and I’m learning that’s just how it goes. I’m thinking about talking to her about it—not like accusing her or anything, but just being real, like, “Hey, I noticed this, you ever feel different too?” I don’t wanna make her self-conscious, so I gotta figure out how to say it right. For now, I’m gonna keep being supportive and stop tripping over stuff I can’t control. If anyone’s got advice on how to bring this up without being a total idiot, I’m all ears. Love’s worth figuring this out for.

It seems unbelievable, but I'm in love. As I unburden myself to her in these terrible ways, I find light in the way I see her as attractive. I no longer distance myself, and I confess, out of prejudice. Which surprises me, really. You don't know where your mind is going in this business. One moment you think one way and the next you think another. It's as if I still can't appreciate how beautiful the moments with her were.

Unfortunately, not everything is wonderful. She reminds me of a girl I knew from college who fell in love with me and did everything she could to prevent it. In a crazy way, too, with the same people from the university supporting her. Her priority was her life before her feelings; that's how separated the issue was. In other words, her life was governed by her feelings; in fact, she had buried them in order to be with others, others enjoying themselves, and herself relaxing. What a miserable life, frankly. How can it be done? She ran away from her crush. Who knows if this is her first crush?

How many times does one fall in love in life? And the girlfriend overrides those feelings? How can that be? How is it possible that an entire university prioritized a union over a crush? This already shows that no one cares about who they are, only about maintaining order. What macabre selfishness. And they did everything possible to keep me in that same line, to destabilize me, to be at the mercy of suggestion, hiding the truth. Even my entourage participated in this. Is it fair? I don't think so at all.

We appeased, we sent that girl's feelings to earth unfairly. She had the right to be in love. Now, being in love will also identify with problems, given that after her mistreatment, which resulted in violence, I had to call a psychologist because I was the one who received her, supported by her people, even outside the university. Is this fair? We buried this girl's feelings. The simple fact of experiencing them, in a way, the way she had, sent her to hell. How could we be like that with her? And the worst part is that she's the one who told me to get out of her life when others had influenced me. Furthermore, she continues with the people who influenced her and who influenced me to such an extent. Furthermore, she influenced me with her violence. Is it really fair? Is it really fair that this girl can't experience feelings?

So, we all wash our hands. Everyone does what she wants and that's it, all to get out of the mess. No one admits responsibility, of course. In my case, I was over the moon, I couldn't admit any responsibility, but she even understood that. That thing with her was a disaster; it was a game with her feelings, an outrage, it wasn't fair. The worst part is that she defended me just so I'd leave. I remember seeing her with her hand trembling in front of me. Of course, I didn't trust her or anyone around her either. I was on my own, it was always like that, and they assumed it wasn't like that, who knows why, and then she had to push me away because of that assumption. But what a disaster it feels like.

In short, in that situation, what mattered more was order, everyone going their separate ways, the girl and me talking, than anything else. Everyone there was safe, except for her, who had given birth and was in the worst possible situation. Why didn't anyone do anything? Why didn't that university do anything if it even had a psychologist? Forty days had passed, and I couldn't believe that girl was like that, and on top of that, with the others all making bad faces, wanting to make her feel worse, since I'm capable of going to the necessary legal extremes. Is this fair? How selfish of all of us. No one cares about anyone.

How is this girl going to express her feelings now? Her feelings, the only way she had of expressing them, the only loving way, were sent to hell, and she didn't know what to do. Why did we have to be this way with her? Of course, I had to protect myself from her. Also, the question: Why did I include myself in this? If I was violated, I was incapacitated, and in addition to protecting myself from others, I had to safeguard my physical and perhaps even physical integrity. Why do I include myself in this mess? I have no business being in that mess.

What I observe, first, is that those around me encouraged my going to the psychologist, given the game with expectations—I was always congruent—no one supported what that girl felt—I did—and also always buried her feelings—I never did that. This is an environment that does not give rise to emotions and on top of that makes their expression grotesque as a result of this, when finding a chance, it becomes aggressive and therefore distancing the person from possibility and consequently, this makes it an absorbing environment and blurs the person because we are according to feelings, without them we are also something but given to Machiavellianism, that is, there are intentions behind it, and therefore she's not a person evolving, but completely out of step with the reality embodied in her psyche. Given this, I fully supported her.

That said, then, how can it be that I was the only one who supported that girl? How is it possible that I was the only one? Why didn't anyone else do it? Why am I the only one who has to act for her health? Out of respect for her? Does this even make sense? Furthermore, acting at all costs according to her decisions, whatever they may be, a question that I even had to make methodological. Why does it have to be this way? Why did I have to go to such extremes? I don't understand. Does no one want to take care of her, and only me, but going to such extremes and thus pushing her away? Why did this have to happen? Why should the only person who supports her be the one who has to distance herself, while those who aren't closest to her are left behind? It's not fair. No wonder she revealed herself to them! I'm already becoming somewhat aware of the situation, and she became aware of it before the second-to-last time I saw her.

How hard it was for me to recognize that she had become aware of the situation. Furthermore, it was a truly tyrannical effort for her. How would she feel if she didn't? Naturally, she explodes in anger and takes advantage of the situation, because she can't stand it anymore. After I brought her to the psychotherapist, she couldn't stand it anymore. It was going to result in the typical bias: she yells at me, explodes, and I say this is such and such. Fortunately, that girl trusted the wisdom of my decisions. It's not just about looking after her feelings, but also about setting boundaries, which is also about looking after them, given that she looks after me and her in an egalitarian and non-burdensome way for both of us, which allows us to be in this relationship. That relationship never ended. However, I must admit, I don't feel like I'm in love with her, under any circumstances.

With her, I admit it, I only supported her feelings as much as I could, as much as she allowed. The fact that she was in love with me was something I had to value because she considered me for a life with me, and I think that's a great honor, not a cause for annoyance or unworthiness in any sphere. I consider her feelings sacred in every way, and they should be treated that way, not with masks or anything like that, complacency or anything like that. I feel that I prevented the same thing they did to me with her. From what I can say from that experience, she was a responsible, fair person, constantly expanding her prudence, managing to uphold these values ​​even in conditions that were impossible for many people.

Meanwhile, I continue my love affair, which, frankly, I see is reciprocal. Fortunately. I hope to do things well.

My partner has epilepsy and for a while it’s been manageable, but recently it’s been getting worse.

It all started when on a Sunday, I went to his place, and when we were walking from a room to another he fainted in my arm and had a non-culvulsion seizure. We went to the ER and he’s slowly been getting better, but today when he was at the hospital waiting for his meeting with their neurologist, they had a seizure (a complete one) and now their stuck at the hospital until further notice.

I’m rly worried because his health keeps getting worse and I’m seeing it myself, I don’t think theirs any life risk, but it’s still scary to me. I can’t go use on my own issues and all because I’m worried about him. It just breaks my heart to see him get worse, even if it’s « not that bad »

For background information Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months, he’s the sweetest ,most caring,loving man. He never yells and is the first one to say sorry. He’s everything I’ve needed but he messed up in the first weeks we were together. ( something to do with a female best friend ) but he stopped being friends with her before we were “official.” It’s me self sabotaging, wanting to hold onto anything bad he’s ever done. Why can’t I let things go? I love him and this is the first man I knew would be the best husband. I don’t deserve his love. He doesn’t deserve to be treated the way I treat him. I’m always switching emotions or being cold towards him if I’m slightly annoyed. I know people say to change for him but it’s not that easy. I’ve been this way in every relationship. This is the LEAST toxic relationship I’ve ever been in. Now the problem is just me. I don’t even know where to start. I feel I’m too damaged to be with him. Every time I try to leave he begs me to stay. He doesn’t deserve that. I want to be enough for him but atp I don’t think I even deserve it. Sometimes I wish he would just see how terrible of a person I am and leave. I hate hurting him. I hate knowing it’s me who’s the reason for the sadness behind his eyes. Idk what to do. He won’t let me leave and I don’t think I’m good enough for him.

In 6th grade I met this boy (J) he was shy but sweet, we were friends for a while that year but eventually in social studies I realized I liked him, alot. I told one of my (use to be) guy Friends in the form of a note they told J and he said he like me too so that's where it started. Today I still rember our first hug, first time holding hands, ect. we broke up a few times but we were children and did not know how relationships worked yet. we got back together in 7th grade and took it more serious and everyone loved us at the end of the year saying "Yall are the cutest couple" "I hope y'all last" "best couple of 7th grade" and I still agree with those still, we dated and of 7th grade (last year) over the summer and the start of 8th grade too! in till the week of Halloween in October. it was Monday, me and J had planed on going to the upcoming middelschool dance together but that morning before homeroom he told me he couldn't go because his dad said no due to low grades at not handed in work(NHIS) I'll be honest I wasn't alive that morning so my brain with not even alive but I was sad but said "okay" my goofy ADHD self remberd a time back I 6th grade befor J when I dated a guy (H) and we were supposed to go to that middle school dance but I wasn't feeling good that day due to hightend anxiety (I was diagnosed later on that yr) so me thinking back to 8th grade I was like hey what if I go with h to the dance?! (meant to mean that AS FRIENDS but I didn't get that out there.. terrible idea ik T^T) so in orchestra I have with H I said hey would u want to relive that dance we were supposed to go to in 6th grade (AS FRIENDS) he took that as cheating on J and asking him (H) out. well I heard later it got out to J that I "asked out" H and yeah now I know it seems like that. And befor I get yelled at I LOVEED J AND ONLY HIM I NEVER EVER THOUGHT OF H LIKE THAT (he was like a brother to meX_X) and in 4th peroid class changed I gave J our usual hug but he seemed hurt and upset. I had a gut feeling (TIME SKIP) later my friend messaged me telling that people said I'm cheating on J, at that moment ik I fliped up so instead of J finding out from rumors I messaged him telling him everything hoping to save our (8 almost 9 month relationship) I said if you want to say "goodbye" I understand completely and I am so sorry I did this to you (TIME SKIP) so we broke up he said its better to say goodbye so that happend and we both mentally felt like crap, and both our hearts were crushed.

that was in 2024 not its 2025 and about to be may aka the last month of school. j had a GF but she only saw him as a friend so that lasted a week and I've tried to move on and I just haven't felt the love thing people are supposed to do/have the only love I've ever felt for someone was with J and its still like that. now I don't like him like that anymore I just see him as a close friend and I know it wont be nothing more as I messed up. but you know after you felt/had something like that for so long or felt that way its like apart of you still holds on to them and their memories of you and them together. its like an invisible rope that keeps y'all connected. at a distance but United together and invisible. I just wonder if he or us could ever be a thing again, even if not the same but at least I still feel the hope. sometimes I wonder if its worth the try or risk. would I ruined it again, mess up our friendship which could be all we have left or try and we learn from our mistakes and heck can start our lives together because highschool is next year. or maybe I just seriously gotta let it go. what do y'all think? (also sorry its ALOT)

i don’t even know where to start honestly, everything just feels so confusing lately. me and my boyfriend been together for like 2 years now and it’s not like we been perfect, every couple fights sometimes right? but still, we always managed to work it out, always found our way back to eachother. until now. it’s like a switch flipped. he used to text me good morning every day without fail, he used to call me just to hear my voice, he used to actually listen when i talked about my day. and now... nothing. it started with little things, like takin longer to reply, cancellin plans last minute, saying he’s "busy" but not really explaining why. and i tried to be chill about it at first cuz i know people got stuff goin on, i didnt wanna be that clingy girlfriend always askin for attention. but it kept happening, and now it’s like i’m talking to a wall. sometimes i send him a message and he don’t even open it until hours later, sometimes not even til the next day. when i call, half the time he dont answer. when i do see him, he’s distracted, always on his phone or just... somewhere else in his head. i asked him straight up what’s goin on and he just says "i’m fine" or "i’m tired" like that explains everything. but it doesn’t. i’m not stupid, i can feel the distance between us growing and it’s killing me inside not knowing why.

it’s messin with my head real bad too, like i’m overthinking everything now. did i do something wrong? am i not enough anymore? is there someone else? i replay convos in my head, reread texts lookin for clues, but there’s nothing clear. just this awful silence. and the worst part is that i still love him so much. i still wanna fight for us but it’s hard when it feels like i’m the only one even tryin. i miss him so bad it hurts, i miss laughin together, the way he used to look at me like i was his whole world. now sometimes when he looks at me it’s like he’s lookin through me. nd i hate that i’m turning into this sad, desperate version of myself, always waitin for him to text, hopin he’ll finally act like he cares again. my friends tell me i deserve better, that i should just walk away, but it’s not that easy. he’s part of my life, part of my plans, part of my heart. and the idea of losing him, after everything we been through, feels like i’m losing a piece of myself too. but how long can i keep hangin on to someone who’s not even reaching back for me? how many more nights am i supposed to cry myself to sleep wonderin why my boyfriend ignores me like i don’t even matter anymore? i just want answers, i just want to know if we still have a chance or if i’m just clingin to memories of someone who’s already gone. i dont kno what to do, all i know is that this hurts more than i ever thought it would.

We have been married almost 30 years

I feel like I took too much too long

I have worked full time as my husband did, we raised a daughter, I did most of it, he barely changed her diaper, never woke up at night when she was little

I deal with all BS by his mother, and I was a selfish DILwhen I tried to set a boundary w her.

He has full on ADHD, when I come home after working 7 am to 5:30 pm, the house is a mess, I run like a crazy woman to tidy up the house to the level that is barely acceptable as a living environment. I obviously contribute our house purchase 50% from out joint bank account, but I can not enjoy the house because it is so cluttered, looks like a dump inside-out all the time. The yard was beautiful when we purchased the house, now it looks like a junk yard. Things are placed so randomly, if I mention about it, he would say something like he is trying to don't look at them. But he refuses to get a house keeper because “I don't want a stranger in our house” or “I don't trust those people.”

I deal with his MIL living in our backyard house, and I am 100% sure she has bipolar personality disorder but my husband try to satisfy her like a little boy try to please mother who never satisfy. She acts like a princess while she is 88yo. Just hard to watch. He sacrifices everything including his job, his health, sanity, and his family. The relationships between him, I, and our daughter are non-existing because he devote his everything to take care of his parents. We have not had family time for years.

How is this ok, I am taking way too much, feels like I am done with being a good person because everybody is taking an advantage over me

My girlfriend is moving in soon, and I have come to the conclusion I need to end things before that happens. She routinely snaps at me over minor annoyances and I'm expected to apologize afterwards. On the rare occasion I have been snappy towards her, I also end up apologizing. I do not intentionally push and pull b

Would you be okay with your partner showing expressions to you in a public space?

So I'm introverted and I have a resting serious face when I'm not talking to anyone at events. I was upset with my boyfriend because he was ignoring me so I made a face at him. Nothing elaborate but it was like a glare and eye roll. And we were like on a side and maybe someone could notice but I didn't think so. He didnt like that I made a face because he didn't want other people to notice it and make something of it. Other people includes random people we barely know and other people we do know (not nearby) and one of his cousin and her husband were nearby but again we were off to the side.

I did communicate that I was upset because he was ignoring me (he doesnt think he was). I also said I won't make a face or eye roll in future events because he doesn't like it and I meant it. I'm just curious about other opinions about being expressive to your own partner. We weren't near our close family (i wouldnt do that around our family) and the other people there suck and idc about their opinions tbh. I know he cares about society and stuff so I do/ don't do certain things out of respect but I do think it's annoying to do that for fake people who love to judge and have nothing to do with my life.

I have been receiving lots of disrespect from my gf