Couple Stories

I’m really needing to vent about my current relationship. We’ve been together for 2.5 years now, living together for 1.5 years. I am starting to lose hope in our relationship. When we first started dating we agreed to get engaged around 3 years together. He promised me he wouldn’t make me wait that long, 2.5 years at max. Well now we are at that mark and he hasn’t done anything to move it along. Ive mentioned it to him numerous times and I genuinely feel like if we make it to year 3 without that commitment then I’m throwing in the towel. At least moving out, if not completely ending the relationship. We are in our 30s and I have fertility issues as is. We are both steady in our careers and our families love us together and get along great. We have some money saved up as well. I want to have kids within the next 3 years and he says he does too. Additionally, my mother passed away five years ago and my father is passing from dementia. It would mean the world to me for my dad to at least be there when I’m engaged, which I have expressed to my partner. At this point it seems we’re on different pages. I really don’t want to start over with someone new but I feel like we don’t have the same priorities and it’s becoming so exhausting. I’m really looking for some advice because I feel so helpless…

So me and my girlfriend hav been dating for around 5 months and it's been amazing I've never felt happier. Until recently she's become really obsessive and stopping me from going out with friends and family because when I do she tells me that I'm ignoring her and threatens to hurt herself and a bunch of other stuff. I love her to bits but her change has really put me out of it and idk what to do

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for around 10 months now and at first we were the typical couple holding hands and stuff but over the past few weeks she's become overly obsessive and she's been wanting tabs on me everywhere I go and she wants me to always be with her and when I'm not with her she tries to ruin my day by saying she's been crying and stuff which makes me feel bad so I leave what I'm doing with friends to go to her. Overall this has just made me lose friends and made me spiral into a depression and I don't know what to do about it.

"I will love you forever

my love is infinite"

my bf said something in front of some people who did not need to hear it. It was super upsetting. and now he feels bad bc I ignored it when he tried to apologized.

should I apologize?

(Convo I had with my bf this morning, we started off talking about Papa by Rosendale)

me: yeah so I can’t play that song for my dad bc of that one part, he’s gonna be like “oH tHIs Guy Is TRaNS???” nah man he’s just gay

him: heh… your boyfriend is trans!

(there were two kids behind who went to the same middle school as us and had just heard that)

me: (nervous) the fact that you just said that with those two behind us (laughs it off nervously)

him: OH SHI- oh well I don’t care what they think

me: yeah, well I do… (I turned and went down the nearest stairway, usually me and him go down the second stairs instead of the first and hang out under the stairs over there, but I went down the first and then just went to class as fast as possible)

like I know he doesn’t care what people think but I do and he probably knows that

this was actually so upsetting I immediately found my friend/platonic child Allen (not real name) and vented to him about it like-

So around last December, me and a friend were sitting around a fire and the fire wouldn't stay lit so we decided to go to a bar. Well, I didn't feel like changing clothes bc I was comfortable, and it was cold asf. So I went out wearing my plush pajama pants and a Columbia fleece jacket which probably wasnt the best idea😂 well we got too the bar and we were playing pool and my buddy bumped into this dude behind us, and when he did it made the guy miss his shot. So the dude was not happy at all he turned around and pushed my buddy. So being the friend that I am I walked up and pushed this guy too the ground, and when I did one of his buddies came up behind me and uppercutted and grabbed and was squeezing tff out of my balls all at the same time. Until I went to my knees and when I got down to his level I remember him saying in my ear while still squeezing and twisting my balls "oh your boys are nice and fuzzy".Which i mean the pants are soft asff but there were so many people around. Including girls lol that heard that, and it was humiliating. I couldn't do anything but hold my inner thigh and hoped he let go. Well, it went on for about 30 more seconds. That's when i felt something pop and he let go. I instantly got to my feet, limping but walking. My buddy helped me walk out of the bar. I remember being sore and not being able to close my legs for a week. My gf still doesn't know about anything when she asked me what was wrong. I just told her I rolled my ankle bc she kept asking why I was limping. What would be a good way to tell her about this embarrassing situation?

Life's been a whirlwind lately, you know what I mean? I mean, one day you're planning your dreamy future with the "man of your dreams", and the next, you find yourself knee-deep in lawyer appointments and counseling sessions. Funny how things change, right? So, here's the scoop—I'm freshly divorced, and honestly, it's like an emotional rollercoaster I can't get off. Happy and sad, that's pretty much where I'm at. It's like, I'm finally breathing fresh air after being suffocated for years by my now-ex-husband, whose idea of a good time was knocking back one too many shots and then knocking me around. Yeah, it sounds shitty because it was.

At first, he wasn't like this. At first, he was Prince Charming. No, scratch that. More like the superhero of my dreams. This guy would bring me flowers randomly and plan these cute little dates under the stars. He was my ride-or-die until the booze became his best friend. I mean, just like that—snap! Our love went from sweet notes and silly selfies to shouting matches and wondering whether he'd come home or not. You ever felt relief mixed with a side of sadness? That's kinda where I'm at now. Leaving him was like shedding off an old, heavy coat that's been suffocating me in a hot summer; but damn if I don't miss those good times every now and then. Freaking nostalgia will kick your ass when you're least expecting it.

And there it is, my tale of being happy and sad all rolled into one messy ball. I'm free and breathing on my own and all that good stuff. It's like waking up to sunlight streaming through your window after being locked in a dark room for years, like I'm standing taller now, not weighed down by his vibe—or rather, whatever the hell he turned into. Yet, there's a part of me that clings onto the version of him that used to be loving, thoughtful, and genuinely my best buddy. The memories of our early days pop up like annoying internet ads, but I ain't falling for it again. I gotta keep reminding myself that love shouldn’t hurt—literally. Do you ever find yourself missing something that realistically never even existed? That version of him was as real as unicorns. Anyway, life goes on, and ain't nobody got time for that victim bullshit. I just gotta keep trucking along and, who knows, maybe stumble into real happiness this time. Sure, the sadness lingers, but I’m keeping it together, looking forward to a fresh chapter, and hey, maybe a little sparkle will come my way...

i feel I'm turning too toxic toward my husband. all the time yelling

i feel maybe because of my previous trauma.

everyday I try to get over it. but unfortunately I don't. i end up getting annoyed by the foolish things he does and shout at him.

he is genuinely super annoying to me because, I am shocked at the little things he does which does not resonate with me at all and my habbits.

p. s -- we are recently weds

I have been in a relationship with this guy and he were fine in the first month ,then we both went to different college ,and things taken fast he one day wanted to have breakup and after a day we did reconcile but he was behaving kind of rude for few days,later though he changed but he is in still contact with the guy because of whom we had to breakup.

I'm pissed everyday I did tell him about what I was going through and told him to completely cut off with that guy but he didn't listen just said ok and told that he can't because he is his senior and member of some club. i ain't that irrational and told him to be professional with him but still sends him reels n all all the time.

I told him to distance but I don't think does. he keeps mentioning that he is his friend but i think he gives more importance then friend.

now I feel not to talk to him because I'm

that pissed that I will fight with him.

i don't get it. why does he keep lying to my face?I just found proof that my husband is cheating. it's not like i didn't have my suspicions, but when you're faced with actual evidence, it hits different, ya know? i tried to confront him, laid everything out nicely—phone records, some suspicious texts, even a hotel receipt that ain't ours, you name it, i got it. yet, he looks me straight in the eye and tells me it's not what i think. can you believe it? is he fooling himself, or just me?

come on, i am not asking for drama or a scene, just a bit of honesty; but he's making it all too complicated. i mean, why doesn't he just admit to it when it's all right there? the mistrust is growing worse with every lie, and this back-and-forth dance is exhausting. really, what's the point of lying when the jig is up??? maybe he thinks he's slicker than he is, but seriously, who does he think he's fooling? it's become this endless cycle where he denies, denies, denies, and i'm stuck trying to piece together the truth, detective style. i'm too old for this kind of nonsense. like, just be a grown-up and own up to it, right? can't figure out what goes in his mind. is he trying to save face, or does he actually believe his own lies??

so why is he still lying??? any thoughts?

I’m 41, my wife told me last year that she cheated on me, and I’m still mad as hell about it; it’s been eating at me every single day, and I can’t figure out how to get over it no matter what I do. She sat me down and confessed like it was some noble act of honesty, like I should clap for her bravery because she finally told the truth, but the timing was absolute bullshit—she kept it hidden for over a year, and I was living like a clueless idiot thinking our marriage was solid, meanwhile she carried this secret around like a loaded gun aimed right at me. Now every time I look at her, I see betrayal, every time she touches me, I feel disgust, and every time she says “I’m sorry” I want to scream in her face that sorry doesn’t cut it, not even close. People keep throwing advice at me: “Go to therapy,” “Work on forgiveness,” “If you love her, you’ll get through this.” Do you know how empty that sounds when you’re the one living with the images in your head, the constant mental slideshow of her with someone else? I’m supposed to be calm, rational, mature about it, but all I want to do is smash something every time I remember what she did. I don’t give a damn about psychology terms or self-help mantras, because none of that makes the rage stop, none of that makes me trust her again. I still love her, and I hate that I do, because it makes me feel weak and pathetic, like I’m tolerating something no man should tolerate. I’ve read quotes like “Forgiveness is for yourself, not for them,” but what does that even mean in practice? Forgiveness feels like saying it’s okay, and it’s not okay. Forgiveness feels like lowering my own value just to patch up something that should never have been broken in the first place. Maybe cheating is “a symptom of deeper issues” like people say, maybe she felt disconnected, maybe she was insecure, maybe she was bored, but I honestly don’t care what the excuses are—at the end of the day, she chose it, she decided I wasn’t enough, and that decision lives in my chest like a damn parasite feeding off me every single day. I can’t stop imagining it, I can’t stop asking myself questions I don’t even want the answers to: Did she enjoy it? Did she think about me while it was happening? Did she laugh at me behind my back? Sometimes I catch myself staring at her across the table, wondering how many more lies I don’t know about, wondering if she even respects me or if she just fears losing the comfortable life we’ve built. It makes me sick that she can sleep peacefully next to me while I lie awake at 3 a.m. replaying everything like some endless punishment reel in my brain. Friends tell me time heals, but right now time feels like torture, just dragging the wound open again and again, and I don’t feel closer to healed—I feel stuck, like I’m living in some half-life where nothing feels solid anymore. I look at other couples and wonder how many of them are hiding the same crap, how many smiles are just masks covering betrayal. Do you think it’s possible to ever really get over being cheated on, or do you just learn to live with the scar? Because honestly, I don’t know how to let this go without losing a part of myself, and I’m not sure if that’s worth it. Everyone says marriage takes work, but this isn’t “work,” this is demolition, and I’m being asked to rebuild on a foundation that’s already cracked and rotting. She swears she loves me, she swears it was a mistake, she swears she’ll never do it again—but how do you believe words from a mouth that already lied for so long? Sometimes I think leaving would be easier, just walk away, burn it down, start over, but then I think of the years together, the memories, the stupid little routines we built, and I feel paralyzed. I hate this limbo. I hate that she did this to me. And I hate that no matter what I decide, I’ll never be the same again 🤬

I’m 31 and I’ve been married for 5 years, and lately I keep hearing from my mom that my husband is a narcissist. I don’t know what to think anymore because sometimes he does things that feel so selfish and cold, but then other times he acts normal and I get confused if maybe I’m just overthinking. For example, he never asks how my day was unless I bring it up first, and even then he just nods or changes the subject back to him. When I got a promotion at work last year, instead of congratulating me he said, “Well, don’t get cocky, it’s not a big deal.” That really stung because I had worked so hard for it. Another time, we were at dinner with friends and I was telling a story, and he cut me off to correct a small detail in front of everyone. It embarrassed me and made me feel like a child. My mom insists this is all classic narcissist behavior, that he always needs to be the center of attention and can’t let me have my moments, but I don’t know if it’s that deep or just him being insensitive. He also gets very defensive if I bring up anything about his attitude, like I’m attacking him, and then somehow it turns into me apologizing even when I was just trying to talk. When we had a fight about money, he said I was “lucky” he even pays most of the bills, even though I contribute a lot too. Sometimes he even makes me feel guilty for needing help around the house, like laundry or dishes, as if asking for equal effort makes me needy. These things pile up and make me wonder if this is who he really is, or if I’m just listening too much to my mom’s voice in my head.

But then again, he isn’t always cruel. He buys me flowers once in a while, he takes me out for dinner on my birthday, and when his family visits he’s polite and attentive, so I keep asking myself if maybe I’m just being too critical. I think what really confuses me is how he can seem so charming to other people, but with me it’s like I get the short end of the stick; is that how narcissists usually are? He’ll brag about my career to his friends but in private tell me I’m not ambitious enough. He’ll post a nice picture of us online but then mock my outfit before we even leave the house. He says I’m too sensitive and need to toughen up, but it feels like he’s dismissing me instead of listening. Sometimes I question myself, like maybe I’m the one with unrealistic expectations. But then when I talk to my mom, she makes it sound black and white: he’s a narcissist, end of story. Still, I don’t want to throw around labels without being sure. I feel trapped between wanting to defend him and wanting to finally admit he might not be good for me. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? How do you really know if someone is a narcissist or if they’re just flawed in ways that hurt you sometimes? I keep going back and forth in my head, doubting everything, and I wonder if that in itself is part of the problem.

He knows I'm fucking crying and guess what he doesnt care. I feel so stupid for getting attached to him. He just wants a gf just for the sake of having me with him. When he wants to he'll be a good person and attentive and caring but when I need it hes not there. Its better to be alone rather than be with someone who makes you so sad. I'm an idiot for staying with him because he needs me. He says if you leave me I'll be alone. But he wants to pick and choose when to be a good bf. I'm checking out of this relationship. I feel bad for him but fuck I just keep caring less and less.

Would you be upset with your partner giving commentary on their drive to and from work?

Not like "now i passed a blue car, i am going 38mph, now i passed a red car" no, more like for reckless or stupid drivers (unfortunately here are a lot), "that car is so stupid, they went in that lane..." blah blah blah.

My boyfriend is a busy man I get it but when we're on the call together, most of the time he doesnt have much to say to me or he just responds to what I say or ask and most of the times idc. But I have been mentioning a lot more the reckless drivers around me. I've been noticing them a lot more after I got in a car accident and the other car ran a red light and tboned my car(I'm okay and so is the other driver).

But today I get told that he's tired of me giving commentary while driving. The only f-ing reason that I say that stuff is because other than that he he probably wont say anything. And you bet that after today I'm gonna stop and I'm sure our phone calls will be 80% silent. What's the point of calling me then???

I'm just sad and I hate how I got into this whole relationship. I've already been rethinking our relationship and things like this make it worse. I know relationships require work but how much until its just not worth it? I'm just tired of him and everything else. I just wanted a partner who would listen to me respond because you bet I would do that for him. It sucks that even tho he's a good person idk if I want to be in this relationship

sometimes i feel like i'm just drifting away. at 51, you'd think i'd have my life set or at least be comfortable, but no. my husband barely even acknowledges me as if i've become a fixture rather than a partner. i cannot remember the last time he reached out and caressed my hand or looked at me with those eyes that once held warmth. am i no longer worthy of affection, or does aging put a damper on desire? i've never felt so invisible, and it's weighing heavily on my heart. is it normal for passion to fade like this, or am i simply unworthy now?

we used to be so in sync, you know? always close and connected. it's like the rhythm and cadence we shared was just lost over time, fading away into the white noise of daily chores and trivial tasks. there's an ache in my chest from being untouched, untouched by the one person who promised to hold me close forever. it's a cold reality to accept that intimacy has become a thing of the past, a relic of our younger years. was it inevitable, or could i have stoked the flames to keep it alive?

it's easy to feel like maybe it's me. maybe i've let myself go or become complacent, and now i'm just not desirable. i've heard about the inevitable drudgery of marriage; maybe we slipped into that pattern without even realizing it. yet, doubt creeps in and floods my mind. does silence mean he's lost interest or grown tired of what once captivated him? could he ever see me as the woman he fell in love with, or have i become someone else entirely in his eyes?

i often wonder if anyone else out there feels the same, trapped in a silent dance of routine void of passion. am i alone in how i feel, or is this just one of those unspoken realities of aging? depression and longing for those moments to reignite feels like an insurmountable climb, but the hope of rekindling lives on deep inside my heart; maybe, just maybe, there's a way to bridge this emotional gap. would having a heartfelt conversation or finding a common ground bring us back? or, perhaps, this is simply the natural ebb and flow of life. 🤔