Friendship Stories

recently, i've been doing some serious reflecting on what friendship really means to me. you know, the qualities that truly define a meaningful and supportive friendship in one's life. this all started after i had an argument with a close friend of mine, which got me questioning whether my expectations are even realistic?! it’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened, but it just feels different now. maybe it's because i'm older or i've experienced more stuff than before; who knows! anyway, here's where i'm stuck: how do we figure out what qualities to prioritize in friendships? is there some kind of universal list of rules or is it all just subjective? 🤔

i heard somewhere (i think it was from a ted talk?) that every friend brings something unique to the table, right? but how do you balance those unique traits while also ensuring that your core needs are met?? i've always believed that communication and trust are the bedrock of any strong relationship! however, this recent fallout left me wondering if i'm asking too much of people or maybe not expressing my own needs effectively. am i expecting friends to be mind readers or something... i mean urgh!!! 🙄

there was this particular incident with my pal jamie during game night about two weeks ago. we were playing charades (and honestly having a blast) until things took a weird turn when they accused me of being overly competitive; by saying that while laughing but i could sense a hint of seriousness behind those words. at first, i brushed it off thinking it was no biggie because that's just how jamie jokes sometimes. still, later on it got under my skin and now here we are....doubting everything!

looking back at previous friendships, there’s always been some form of disagreement leading to either resolution or dissolution. so naturally, i'm trying hard not only to understand where jamie's coming from but also reassess what i truly value in these bonds? one thing’s for sure though: open-mindedness tops my list!!! if someone can't be open-minded enough regarding differences without taking things personally then honestly what's the point anymore.

maybe i'm overthinking things (which wouldn't be surprising because ya girl does have anxiety issues), yet part of me believes reflecting upon these matters might actually help refine future interactions as well 😉 bottom line: am i wrong for wanting a little more clarity or structure around what makes up solid connections??? thanks for reading through all my ramblings; they'd mean nothing without support from amazing folks like y'all ❤️

participating in a trivia quiz night with friends seemed like a perfect plan to unwind and have fun. after all, who doesn't enjoy a little friendly competition? however, i soon found myself confronted with the unsettling realization that perhaps i didn't know these friends as well as i thought. the questions varied from favorite movies to preferred holiday destinations, and the answers were startlingly different from what i'd anticipated. for instance, one friend enthusiastically revealed that their favorite movie was an obscure indie film i had never heard of, and not the blockbuster series we used to watch together. another surprised me by choosing a quiet countryside retreat over the vibrant city break we've always talked about.

the night progressed and more questions came up, causing me to evaluate how much depth there really was in our relationships. it is fascinating how certain inquiries can act as catalysts for broader reflections on friendship dynamics. while we shared laughs and debated over trivial matters like movie plots or travel spots, it slowly dawned on me these seemingly insignificant facts were glimpses into their personalities and lives beyond our usual interactions. it wasn't just about knowing each other's favorites but understanding why they preferred them.

maybe it's easy to assume familiarity breeds understanding when in reality we all change and evolve sometimes without even realizing it ourselves. quiz nights like this can bring out nuances we often overlook during regular hangouts or casual chats. you know suddenly they ask if anyone's been keeping track of who scored what emoji... nobody seemed too bothered by points though because in truth discovering those layers added something richer than winning ever could.

how do you stop caring about someone who seems to have just, like, moved on? 🤔 it's wild how their name still manages to send this little shock wave through my entire system every time it blips up on my social media feed. i tell myself i'm over it, that it's all good and stuff, but a notification (or even worse a tagged photo!!!) just pops up and nah man, that little pang of unease sneaks in like an uninvited guest at the party you didn't wanna host anyway.

unfriending them crossed my mind, i mean there's peace in straight up cutting ties right? still muting notifications feels a bit less nuclear. balance can be hard to strike when you're desperately dangling over the edge trying not to look pathetic. something something setting goals (heard that's a thing). should i focus on coming out of this dilemma with at least some dignity or is there more to explore?

dumping emotional energy into idol hobbies might carve out enough space so they don't matter as much. does anyone else feel like they’re starring in one soap opera after another just scrolling past your ex's update with their new SO? 😥 reflect on all those self-help quotes saying “redirect this energy” like it's simple arithmetic!

all this might sound super chill but trust me when i say detachment ain't easy pal! minimal effort gurus would rant about positive affirmations while I'm here unwaveringly stalking old pictures hoping for amnesia. any superheroes out there who've figured this one-eyed brick wall puzzle of surviving breakups?

Recently, i reconnected with an old friend through social media. A flood of memories came rushing back all at once. It’s surprising how something as simple as a screen and a few messages can bring back such strong feelings. Our past conversations, filled with laughter and things we trusted each other with, now feel strange compared to the way people connect online today. i’m torn between reaching out directly or just leaving our shared past alone. Should i try to bring back a friendship that was once so strong?

Relationships can be complicated, and it leaves me wondering: should we keep connections alive just because we miss the past? Or can there be real value in returning to an old friendship and giving it another chance to grow? Taking apart an old friendship and trying to build it again piece by piece feels difficult. Still, those memories keep coming back and feel hard to ignore.

Doubt is stronger than confidence as i think about what to do. Going back to an old connection might not turn out the way i expect. Who knows what could be waiting behind the lives we’ve carefully built over time? Maybe stepping into something uncertain could create changes that affect how we see ourselves and everything around us.

i’m reminded that familiar people can make us feel comfortable, but there’s also an uncomfortable feeling that comes with trying to restart something that has been gone for a long time. Could i simply be missing companionship and wanting the comfort that only people who already know us can give? Or would it be better to focus on the opportunities and relationships i have now instead of putting energy into something from the past?

As i think about these questions, my thoughts move between fear and curiosity. Taking an unknown path could lead to unexpected problems or it could bring something wonderful back to life. How many other paths do we leave unexplored because we are both afraid and curious about what might happen?

I (F25) have this deep rooted belief (supported by unfortunate past experiences) that once new friends begin to know me more and spend more time around me they will quickly lose interest in maintaining our friendship. I believe that they will find me disinteresting and pity me for having nothing going for me in life and it will all end with us growing distant over time until they just disappear and stop talking to me. I have a lot of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. I am sure this contributes heavily to me developing these beliefs and losing multiple friends over time in this exact way over the years. I am very afraid of people getting to know me and asking me questions. I feel exposed in that vulnerability and looked down on after sharing about myself. Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone know how do I overcome this fear? I have a few solid friends, but refuse to talk with them or see them often or share much due to this and struggle to make new friends.

i feel like every time someone gets too close lol i start finding reasons to push them away. even tho i want connection deep inside but then why sabotage relationships??? so confusing right!!! it’s like there’s a part of me that sees this happen and stops trying to make it work, giving up almost willingly ??? wishing someone would just stick around against my pushing and pulling tendencies. but then again maybe theyre just waiting for a sign i really need them??🤔.

what frustrates me is how many excuses dwell in my head, it's like each one valid on the surface, seems legit at first glance. gotta admit, I even buy into them myself sometimes. 'too busy' or 'they need too much'. i get caught up 🤦‍♀️ thinking they're all true enough not realizing im shoving people out the door before they can knock.

i know that lotsa folks probably suck in relating too like me feeling trapped in their own patterns wanting something opposite yet doing NOTHING to change it!!!!!!! the cycle’s endless man it's tiring exhausting ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!! even my ex bestie remarked once sarcastically saying 'you're your own worst enemy' couldn't have said better myself ha.

So I packed my bags and moved to a new city thinking wow this place got so much potential. It's supposed to be full of opportunities, right? But man oh man, starting fresh ain't all it's cracked up to be 🤕. At first, it was exciting like being in some wild social parade, trying to blend in make friends left and right. You know what they say gotta put yourself out there! But then as days turned into weeks, something hit me: I'm straight up drowning bro or at least feels like it... How am I supposed to find the energy for this chaos all the time?

I'm not saying every person here is judgy but damnnn some ppl won't even give u one chance if you don't fit into their lil clique. And personally I'm tired of constantly shifting between groups only to feel more alienated each time 😒. Tried chatting some folks up at bars even hit a gym class or two nothing helped it was like talking to robots running routines I'd never understand.

Here's what gets me: I keep questioning why am I stressing so damn much about other ppl's approval 🥴. Wouldn't life be easier if we could just stop caring entirely??? Like wouldn't that free us from all this unnecessary stress hunting friendships? Okay maybe I'm dreaming too big here lmao but seriously what happens if i do exactly that – completely stop caring?

I got this buddy back home he used ditch these toxic friendships without batting an eye and lived his best life regardless. He'd say sometimes you gotta let things fall where they may (soz cheesy af lol) but hey maybe there's wisdom buried somewhere in those words who knows!

Part of me wants throw hands up admit defeat let nature run its course while another part dreams bigger gives no fks pushes through till finally land on right squad eventually... Maybe taking short break from worrying is answer for now 🙃 whatever works bro!

i've always found the holidays a bit unbearable in this conservative hometown of mine. it seems like everything around here caters to traditions rooted in ignorance, leaving absolutely no room for acknowledgment of LGBTQ holidays. frankly, it's a frustrating reality to live in, where my identity is consistently disregarded by those around me.

this year i decided to change things up and host a gathering at my place to celebrate Pride Month. if they won't include us, we'll make our own space. organizing the event was no small feat, considering the lack of support and subtle disapproval from some family members who still cling onto antiquated notions. yet surprisingly, a few friends were quite receptive to the idea!they seemed eager to partake in something that felt more inclusive and representative of who we are....

however, despite the promising start, the experience left me feeling rather disenchanted. some friends expressed concerns over attendance due to potential backlash from neighbors who are notoriously nosy and judgmental. can you believe we have to hide who we are just to avoid their narrow-mindedness?!! it's unbelievably exhausting!?! yet one can't help but wonder why society continues down such misguided paths when diversity should be embraced instead?! it's like this quote: émost people are other people", it feels so right for me.

To give some context, I think this feeling has been stuck with me for a long time. Three years ago, I ended a relationship that was very important to me, and since then, I’ve noticed that I compare almost everyone I meet to my ex. I know this is something I need to work on because I don’t want to see every new person through the lens of my past. But whenever someone starts treating me differently or becomes more distant, even after saying that things wouldn’t change, I immediately think: “my ex never treated me like this.” You might think, “but he treated you that way because he was your boyfriend, right?” The truth is that he was always kind and consistent with me, even before we started a relationship. He seemed sure about what he wanted, and that gave me a sense of security that I still remember.

Nowadays, I feel like many people struggle with emotional responsibility, and because I’m a sensitive person, I want to learn how to deal with these situations in a healthier and more mature way. I’m not that teenager anymore who felt everything so intensely and acted only based on emotions. I want to understand my own feelings better.

Recently, I started getting closer to someone. Before anything else, we were friends. At first, it was just a friendship where we would watch esports together and then go on with our lives. But after a few months, we became closer and things started to change. We ended up having an intimate night together, and after that, I felt like something changed between us. He said that nothing would change, but it feels like our conversations are not the same anymore. It feels like he doesn’t really want to talk to me anymore, he just replies, and that has started to frustrate me. Part of me wants to disappear before he has the chance to leave first, because I’m afraid of getting attached and ending up hurt. At the same time, I really don’t want to lose this person. I still want to get to know him better and understand who he really is. Something that made me feel insecure was seeing some texts he wrote about past relationships, especially about an ex. After everything that happened that night, I started wondering if I misunderstood the situation or if I’m just overthinking.

We still talk, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. Sometimes disappearing feels like the easiest way to protect myself, but he has told me before that he didn’t like when I disappeared and that he missed me, I simply told him that I wouldn’t do that again and that I would handle things differently from then on. He understood, and after that, he started acting as if we were already in a relationship. I would wake up to messages like “good morning, my love” and voice messages where he would say my name in the morning.

So idk if I’m seeing things that aren’t there, if my fears are affecting the way I see the situation, or if I should accept that things have really changed.

Would you try to continue the friendship and see what happens, or would you walk away to protect yourself ?

im in college now and of course i got roommates. i was really close with one of them but we fought. i was also close with the other two. let's call the girl that i fought with ella. so we needed to do a group project.

In our group there's a guy that i never ecen talked to before. he wanted to borrow our tablet. i have one and ella have on too. our group have 4 people. ne, the guy, ella and my other rommate.

ella was close to the guy and she was pestering me for 3 days straight asking to use my tablet. i don't like sharing my stuff with strangers especially if it's expensive stuff. so i was in a bad mood on the day of the meeting. we discuss the project at the cafe.

i was clearly in a bad mood and my other teammate (roommate- lucy) came and saw me in a bad mood and she decided to ask everyone in front of me what's my problem because i didn't smile at her, which made me more emotional i guess.

then in our room when everyone is back, i didn't talk to anyone just minding my business. when i went out to go to the toilet i heard lucy crying and calling her parents because i didn't smile at her. because unfortunately i have to smile at her 247. saying i don't know why she's like that until her mom wanted to talk to ella about what happened.

then i decided to confront everyone in the room. i was like "i just wanna say something.." then i saw ella taking off her earbuds and was gonna look but decided to put it back on and turn around. i called her another time and she ignored or maybe just didn't hear me. so i was losing my patience a little and raised my voice a bit. so the whole time yeah my intonation was a bit rude but i didn't curse or anything like that.

it escalated. i told her what i wasnt satisfied with and she kept trying to keep turning away the questions. then at one point she's trying to take control of the situation. i said you weren't even listening to what im saying. And she was like no, you didn't say why you're upset. I've been repeating it like crazy. She said explain again. And i didn't want to waste my time so i didn't.

then she said something like you mind ur own business and i mind mine. so i didn't talk to her ever. her parents are like rich i guess? now she wants to call her parents and make meeting with the "director" idk who. She kept calling her dad and friends in front of me to make sure i heard it.

so my question is, did i do her so bad that she wants to call the "director" andher parents over rhis?

i think, honestly she's mad that i didn't suck up to her or something.

We were playing black ops 2 zombies, kinda blazed, and being goofy. He suddenly does this spot on impression of Watto- Anakins slave owner in the Phantom Menace- and I just broke.

I'm asking him about how to spend points on this map we're playing, yk, come up with a plan. He hits me with the Watto "Annieee"

I burst out laughing and realized how bizarre the one scene in Attack of the Clones is. Anakin is searching for his mother, and he goes to watto for help. Tldr, he knows Anakin is basically a space wizard peace officer, and the first thing he says after homeboy is like 'yo, where's my ma?'

Watto: Ah that's great kid hey you wanna help me with some mafia deadbeats who owe me money? Annie please they owe me money' like WTF 💀💀💀 goofy ahh writing

Anyways

It's crazy to me that im just a kid and im already thinking about how life is gonna be when im gonna turn 20. Will i find a partner? (probably not). Will i find a house or a flat to live in? Will i struggle with rent? Will i finally get a cat to keep me company like one did in a dream of mine? Will i go out? I think u know the drill but one of the questions is different to me at least. And that one is: Will i even make it to 20?

I know i am a coward and that i cant do anything without guidance so the honest and most likely answer would be no, i won't make it to 20. But does that mean, that i have to throw all my dreams away now? My dreams of playing guitar, my dreams of photographing and my one and only important dream to find someone who will get me? Not even a partner but perhaps, my muse? My best friend? My soulmate? I always had a picture in my mind of this girl. Ginger hair, Freckles everywhere, long and sharp eyeliner, smoky eyeshadow, lip piercing, dark brown eyes, skinny figure, looking straight into my camera lens with eyes full of love and patience. Someone who would never turn her back on me but i know it's unrealistic, i cant find someone with those specific features but god i just wish someone could tell me that its gonna be okay, i will get through 20, i will be happy, i wont be stuck in a loop of working and laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, someone who would both tell me and make me feel like im worth something. Someone who will tell me that and say it to my face so i will never forget that.

This is so corny man i hate myself

I've been having an honestly bad track record with friends. They've either been "nice people" who turned out to take advantage of my old anger and I hurt a boy because of it. Or I tried to be nice and have fun with them, but turns out they're not super interested, and I'm a fool for trying. I just suck.

I have new friends now, but I have a holiday along with them. It's a school holiday. They say they've been to different countries or they're busy. I know those are real causes during the holidays as to why they don't talk as much, but I have a what-if. What if...they don't like being around me? What if when they message "I don't feel like messaging", they actually mean they're tired of me and not their trip or work? I've had some people say they're "Fine with me" but then they hang out with others and act like I don't exist.

I have this lack of trust because when they message and speak, they're so kind and say they're not bothered with me, and I ask them if they're comfortable or I apologize. I end up apologizing more while they tell me I shouldn't feel that way and "it's okay". I have just talked about my interests to you and you understand and you seem like you get it, but what if it's not true? What if you really hate me for being too much and too little? Too much of a freakish weirdo and too little of a normal kid? I suck at this because I've had such less friends over several years.

I feel like backstabbing them, making them know I hate them because they probably lied to me about enjoying me, because if you hate me so much, why am I with you? Why aren't you kicking me away? Why aren't you telling me straight to my face "Go die you hag"? I'd rather you do that than live with the fact I don't know if you hate me or not. I've had a bad depression phase for a while, I don't wanna go there again. I don't wanna rationalize an undeserved pain onto me, try to say "This is what I was supposed to suffer" when I don't. I don't wanna go back to "I'm a god who sees truth and everybody is pigs for looking on the bright side of things".

I've been trying to be more optimistic, but it's hard. It feels like a big risk, not right after you feel like everything could go wrong because you're undeserving of outside friendships. I wanna be more open with others but with the holidays, it feels as if I'm not doing enough for the friendship or doing too less. I've considered nuking all contacts and telling them hateful stuff because I think they could hate me. I didn't because I felt bad about it, I felt like I would do big damage.

I know they could be busy and that's why they don't respond, but maybe they're busy also thinking why I'm so horrible. They're extra quiet online cus it's the holidays now, mom says they're probably busy, but I get so nervous. Like I said, I feel like backstabbing, but when they see me and be so kind, I feel bad for even holding that knife. They are so sweet. They treat me with respect and they don't find my disgusting personality weird. I find my personality disgusting sometimes. I sometimes feel as if I don't deserve love outside of my family. Like my mom, brother and dad would be my only connection to humans and nobody else. Nothing lasts anyways except family. Dad tells me to always remember "Family First". Is this what it's like to have friends? Do they hate me? Is this why they're not responding online?

This will be a more uplifting post than my normal, venting all hands on deck type shit.

Halo: Campaign Evolved came our last week. It's alright, for what it is. But it's what it stands for.

In 2003, my brother first showed me Halo. Then, the following year, Halo 2 came about. It was an era I never forget, Lan parties and snacks and dragging your TV over to yo pals house so yall can throw down.

Alas, 343 doesn't know how to make a complete Halo, so there's no PvP :(

But I gotta say, again, for what it is, this remake really did bring us back to the co-op days. It was such a trip down memory lane for us, having spent years apart until recently, and the simplicity of a cherished video game bringing us, even for a few hours, back to our childhoods. Ahhhh, shiet. Don't you wish you could relive it?

Lately it seems like I don't have friends at all anymore. They're still there, but they don't respond very much. We're gamers, and every time I message any of them to set up a game session, it's a no or no response at all or it's something to do with the games I play being shitty games. But they play those same games an hour later or a few days with others. I just don't know what to think anymore. It's like I don't matter or exist anymore. When I explain how I feel to a few of them, it's usually something with "life's just too busy" which I understand, but for a year straight? A few months straight? When you're playing the same game/s with others? And streaming it as well??? Just say you don't want to be my friend and quit playing around. Or better yet, just block me.