Friendship Stories

I feel so selfish whenever I do feel and have thoughts like these, however, I just feel like no one truly understands me. Maybe it's because I've never felt comfortable enough to really be myself, but sometimes I just feel like I'm the odd one out. I've never had those types of friendships where we would call or hang out outside of school. Maybe it's self-centeredness, but I always feel like a second friend or just a back-up. Never as the priority. Yes, I do have friends, but I just don't think our conversations flow smoothly how others do. Or it might just be that we don't have the same interests. I envy friendships where it's easygoing and they can go back-and-forth. Or just understanding each other. I always smile and try to keep the mood light during the school day, but deep down, I feel empty, like what's my purpose in life? Do I even exist in other people's worlds? Do people like me? Or think of me? I get these feelings of a heart dropping or panging occasionally, and I don't know where it comes from, maybe just a sudden wave of sadness. Sometimes I want to hit myself for having these thoughts because I should be grateful for my current friends and family, but I really don't know. I would consider myself happy, but maybe there's a lack of fulfillment somewhere in my life? This rant is probably meaningless, but I just wanted somewhere to vent. Thanks.

Id like to start with saying im 17 and female. I met my best friend in freshman year of high school, she was awesome, and throughout the years became even more awesome. Shes truly the most beautiful, kind and supportive human alive. Except we have had a very rocky friendship, since the begining I knew this was going to be a tough friendship. We bonded so fast and became close within months of knowing eachother, but this had caused me to grow extremely attached to her. I remember I used to cry myself to sleep if she responded to a text a little late, or if I found out she was hanging out with other people, it would break my heart. Needless to say, I had a very unhealthy perception of her, and she recognized that. We would argue constantly about how clingy I was and that I need to chill. It would shatter me everytime we would argue, I genuinely couldn't handle the feeling of her being upset with me, it made me feel so empty and lost. I began self harming and I had these worrying thoughts of ending my life. I didn't want to be alive but I couldn't die because then I wouldn't have her. I remember promising myself if she ever left me I would end my life. I had a constant fear of losing her. I really don't know if I was in love with her or not, I am now, but before I think I was only obsessed but that obsession lead me to fall in love with her. I was so in love. I wanted her so badly I couldn't focus on anything, I was falling apart without her. I remember crying every single night for a whole year straight, cutting and burning myself on the bathroom floor while sobbing and wishing she loved me the way I loved her. I never want to feel that pain again. Our friendship issues began seeping into my homelife, my dad noticed something was wrong with me and at the time I had an online boyfriend who was 19, at the time I was 15 and when my dad found out about my online boyfriend he was furious. He went through my phone and from there found out I had been self harming. He sat me down and told me if I was so depressed then I should light a match and burn myself in front of him. He had also found out I had been stealing marijuana from my mom. My parents are divorced and I would steal my moms drugs when I visited her, it wasn't anything serious, just marijuana and weed pens, I had also stolen a few vapes. That whole situation broke me. I had never wanted to die more than in that moment. I felt so hopeless and like nothing in the whole world could save me. The worst part is my dad took my phone for 9 months. I felt so isolated and had no way of communicating with my best friend except at school and she comforted me and let me feel all my sad feelings even though I was overwhelming her. Things stayed about the same until the end of freshman year, and once sophomore year had started I had begun to finally feel better. I could handle myself better even though I was still a wreck. My best friend continued to stay by my side. I had also began to accept my feelings for her, I loved her. I truly loved her and saw her for the beautiful person she is. But in September, I had accidently confessed to loving her. It absolutely crushed my soul when she didnt feel the same, and it killed me when she said she felt betrayed. I had hurt her and betrayed our friendship and trust. I felt so unworthy and disloyal. I hated myself and all the suicidal thoughts had came back. That day I had seriously contemplated killing myself. I couldn't. We didn't talk for about a month and when we started talking again It was like that never happened, we talked it out and everything was normal again. Things felt great for about two months. Then it was thanksgiving break and even while typing this I cant help but cry. Thanksgiving break I got a text from her. She wanted to tell me something, and she told me she loved me, and that she was so sorry. She told me that even though she loved me, she could never be with me because it was a sin to be homosexual. Instead of feeling sad I was overjoyed because she really had loved me the whole time. We texted nonstop the entire thanksgiving break, playful flirty messages, confessions about our love for one another, and everything we felt. I had told her everything, how much I loved her, I told her everything. She told me she felt the same and told me how much she loved me. Even to this day Ive never ever felt as warm. Nothing can compare to that week. But by the end of the week she had told me that despite everything she said, I cant get my hopes up because she cant be with me. She was so guilty and she felt so bad, she felt like she was leading me on. And I was so blinded by her love for me I didn't even care that she was leading me on, I didn't care one bit, I soaked up every drop of attention she gave me and craved more. She continued to give me attention and love on me for about three weeks after that. After school we would cuddle and we would sit outside and watch the sky. I went over to her house and we cuddled, I remember holding her hand and feeling her warm body so close to me, I'll never feel anything that safe and comforting again. But we knew it was doomed from the start. She told me we needed to stop, it was hurting us both. She was leading me on, and it put a huge strain on her relationship with God. It broke me, yet I was still so hopeful, I didn't listen to her, looking back I realize how selfish I was. Eventually after days of nonstop tears I had to come to terms with our reality. We couldnt be together. Its been exactly a year, our friendship is closer than ever and I have grown enormously, but I know deep inside I still love her, I love her with all my heart and no matter what happens I feel like I could never ever stop loving her. Since the moment I realized I loved her to this very day, my love for her has only grown. I don't know how to move on, I don't know if I could ever love someone as much and that scares me. I'll never meet someone who truly means EVERYTHING to me. If she died right now, I know Id be next because she is my reason for living. I don't know what to do anymore, and we talk about our love for eachother on occasion. I know she still loves me, but we can never ever encourage it because of her religious beliefs, and I would never do anything to hurt her relationship with God because I know how important that is to her. In a perfect world I know we would be together. I just wish love was easy. She is the most precious thing to me, I hold her closest to my heart always.

Hi, this is going to be long, just please listen to me. i am a 14 year old girl living in the midwest. and ever since Kindergarden or before, I cant remember, I have had shit experience after shit experience. i started in kindergarten at a catholic private school my brother was going to. since he has ADHD and autistic features, he's almost favored, and of course he's treated like shit by the religious kids. and since I'm related to him, I get bullied too. even by the teachers, I question my faith and why god makes my life so miserable using his other followers? i get pushed down and screamed at by the teacher. i end up becoming violent. i eat other kids skin. its embarrassing. we leave after a year because "there were no accommodations for my brother" but I knew it was because me and him were being bullied. while my parents fight and my mom goes numb, I start first grade at a public school. i change 100% to a new personality, being dumber, kinder, and a bigger crybaby. i get bullied behind my back, and I never tell a soul. at one point a boy follows me around and stares at my crotch and boobs whenever I'm near him, doesn't even try to hide it. and another boy gropes my ass one day and tries to play it off as a joke. were fucking children. and when I get to 4th grade, I meet someone I want to become friends with, he was tall, cool, and quiet, who I wanted to be! then he starts beating me, threatening me, and he had access to guns and my home address. he tries to choke me out, tries to break my bones, says he will break into my home slit my throat and steal my dogs. and the bystander effect kicks in, my best friend, the girl who introduced me to him just watches, not caring. even the teachers don't care. next year covid hits and I'm stuck at home, happy. until my brother complains and whines and we go into school. starting my 6th grade. i go back to being made fun of, and its almost normal. until 7th grade. i reunite with the old best friend and she invites me to sit at her table, lo and behold, there's my abuser. he stops hurting me, but keeps the threats up, shows me a video of a spinning dick and such. i start dating that old best friend (like an idiot) and it turns polyamorous with a girl I didn't like, I didn't like the bestie either. rumors about me spread, I break up with them, my other bestie talks shit about me with 2 girls I looked up to and her BF cheats on her with 9 girls and my male abuser. and I move to another lunch table. its normal, I have comfort, a girl I knew since elementary was there, 2 of them. one is amazing, the other disappears one day. sending everyone at the table other than me and a guy an email saying we told her to kill herself (we didn't) and she never shows up again. nobody believed the rumor, that's when I realized what trust was. i get to high school, which is this year. i join the DND club and the yearbook team, I make new friends. i thought I was doing everything right, so far its only one toxic older friend who calls me slurs and says I'm too annoying but just a freshman, I get sexually harassed again by my brothers best friend and chased down a hallway by him asking me how much I would cost THE DAY BEFORE HOMECOMING. and the morning after HOCO, yes, like a goddamn sandwich of trauma and fun, my parents get a goddamn divorce. which was in October. its Christmas now. I'm in my closet at my dads place, in a fort I built, making my amazon Christmas list like a goddamn child. I'm dating the other girl I knew since elementary at good lunch table now. I'm numb, I have multiple personalities for each person, since I'm in so many fandoms and I cant get any fucking commitment to anyone I just make up my personality. I'm not loud, I'm not quiet, I'm not weird, I'm not normal. I'm here, I used to cut myself too, scratch my skin off and bite myself. sometimes it still feels like he's choking me. (the most help I ever got was the middle school counselor expelling the abuser from the middle school and talking to my friends about the drama. my parents only know about what happened In middle school, everyone I know, even my brother, think I'm an overdramatic bitch who needs to get ADHD meds even though I'm not diagnosed with anything.) so please, if anyone reads this, know if I'm here through all this, you can survive too. I'm out there, find me.

My friend seems to be less interested in spending time with me

i've always been raised with pretty conservative views, I'd say I'm Republican and stuff, and I live in the South. Except the problem is, I'm also gay. Now I would have no problem with me being gay, except that it really conflicts with my political views.. and honestly I still don't mind that, but other people sure do. I always get attacked for liking Trump and stuff, online or in person, anywhere. Worst part is that it's by other queer people. Straight people accept me, but then the lgbt people, the people that are supposed to support me are the ones who hate me?? I don't even try to be loud about my views, I mention a little thing when it comes up, but I hate politic talk. So i don't know why they do it. It really hurts. Makes me feel like I'm not a real gay person sometimes. I don't even like to associate with the community anymore because of it. I can't find a single queer person who can look past politics. I just wanna connect with other gay people, but I can't really. It really sucks. I don't really wanna be gay anymore, i dunno. I feel like I don't really belong with the community. I used to have a few friends who were lgbt, but then I got to know them better, they found out I'm a republican, and they just argued with me to tell me how wrong and hypocritical I am. I see where they came from but it hurts still.

dunno who else to turn to for this, so hello online community!

let's call this friend H. i consider H a very close friend of mine. we've both been in the same boarding school, and i've been friends with her for the past 3 years. we always get roomed together so that's how we eventually started bonding. but she gets in these emotional moods sometimes and tends to take her feelings out on me.

it ranges from getting mad at me for the littlest things to full on ghosting me for days straight. the most recent one was, honestly, partially my fault, but in my opinion i didn't even do anything that bad. so we were the only ones in our dorm bathroom at the time, along with two of our other friends. it was late at night and H wanted to take a shower. i wanted to scare her and pretended like my friends and i left the bathroom, so we all stayed quiet while she was showering. she did call out to us multiple times, but she was laughing and giggling so i assumed that H knew that we were still in the bathroom and was playing along with the joke.

when H opened the shower door, she was still laughing with us. it was only until we entered the dorm that she suddenly started crying, putting on her clothes aggressively and then leaving, slamming the door shut. H called her mom right after that using a public phone and began to complain and rant about my 'terrifying' joke. we haven't spoken since, because i'm not going to apologize over something that was supposed to be a joke.

other than this, H has also snapped at me at random times, and by snapping, i mean screaming at me, shouting at me, randomly crying and telling me that i was 'bullying her' even though all i did was joke about how she sometimes slept too late at night or stayed in the shower for too long. perhaps my jokes were a bit mean, but i think H didn't need to yell about how i was 'such a bitch' and how she hated me for bullying her in front of all our friends just because i commented that she woke up late that morning. if H was really bothered with my jokes, why didn't she talk to me about it instead of screaming at me for it? H also confuses me because one day, she'll join in on the jokes and laughs along too, or makes a joke about me in return (which i don't mind, of course) but the day after that she'd be telling me that i'm a terrible friend for joking about her.

not only that, H complained to all my other friends about how 'mean' i was being, and 'cried' to them (it's not really crying because there's no tears coming out of her eyes but she makes weird sobbing sounds, so) about all my cruel and evil 'jokes'. i'm tired of being her villain. H knows i have issues with arguments that involve screaming because i had a bad childhood and i prefer arguments being settled through talking and communication rather than shouting, but she still yells and screams at me and doesn't apologize when i tell her it makes me scared and i want her to communicate in a calmer way. i also have issues with tone, and i have a hard time trying to figure out her emotions and stuff, so it really makes me feel sad when she accuses me of not trying harder to understand her.

her anger issues have taken such a toll on me for the past years we've been friends. i don't know how to tell her about my feelings without ticking her off and making her cry. i don't want to seem like more of a bad person to all our other friends, and i'm tired of being her scapegoat all the time. i'm so done with her just giving me the silent treatment without even trying to talk to me about what i did that made her angry. i'm so done with her just snapping at me angrily and not apologizing for it while i have had to apologize to her thousands of times for a small, petty joke. i don't know what else to do. i don't want to lose our friendship but i also feel like if this goes on for any longer i might go crazy lol

My life is not going well. I feel like I'm fat but I can't tell others because otherwise others will think I just want attention. Then my best friend (s) likes the same guy as me and everyone says that "S and T are perfect together, they should be girlfriend and boyfriend" and I just have to be there and agree with everyone else. It's hard when I hate S but at the same time I want to be his bff. I scolded myself a few days ago because my siblings keep suggesting that I'm fat, especially my older brother (E). The worst thing is that I'm being shipped with my crush's best friend (K). I feel like I'm just a side character in S's life. If I told others that I had a crush on T, others wouldn't take it well. 5.12.2024. I've tried to show my friends that I'm not feeling well. My real best friend (p) had seen my wounds on my arm but hadn't realized anything. We were talking about how some people cut themselves yesterday at dinner and I said "you shouldn't cut yourself, it feels painful." But I guess it never occurred to anyone at that table to think how I would know what it feels like. I'm happy it's Christmas. Now I can wear long shirts all the time to hide my wounds. I don't WANT to be s's best friend but if I wasn't his friend I would lose p because p wants to be both of our bffs

For starters, I am a 16 year old boy who has a lot of friends, plays football and I live with my mom, dad and older sister. I am 5’8 or so, and I have weight issues. Nothing crazy, I’m around 196 pounds but my big issue is that I have serious confidence issues. I think it’s derived from my friends making fun of my weight too often. I get hurt from them but I don’t know how to stop them. They just don’t seem to care about my feelings. But beside that, I feel alone in the love department. I have never kissed anyone let alone had a talking stage. But lately I have been hanging out one on one with this girl Isabel, who has been my childhood friend for nine years now, and I’ve liked her since I met her. I’ve never felt any way about anyone the way I feel about her, but she’s conventionally attractive. She gets so much attention from boys who look way better than me. On top of that she goes to these parties where everyone gets drunk and fuck around with each other if yk what I mean. We share such a deep connection and I’ve never shared such a connection with anyone else. I was planning on telling her I liked her, and right when I was, a kid on my football team went behind my back and started talking to her. By the time I wanted to ask, she was already making out with him. Meanwhile I am all alone in my room. It’s not even like I wanted to just make out with her. I just wanted to have someone to cuddle with. To care for, and to spend time with. Being alone is the worst thing I’ve ever felt and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I could drop my friends. But I can’t drop her. When I found out she was talking to my “friend” I told her how I felt on text while in my anger and then we stopped hanging out. That was 2 months ago. Recently she asked if we could hang out. Guess what we talked about, how the guy she was talking to treated her bad. I wish she could just see that none of those guys like her for her personality, or any of the things that makes her special, but simply because of her looks. But, after we hung out guess what, I start to like her again. And I think we will hang out again, but it just feels like I keep asking her and she doesn’t even return anything. We haven’t hung out in a bit and I hate it. I want to talk to her on the beach while listening to Mac Demarco like we used to, but no. She just won’t make time for me. I’m so unimportant to her. She will drop plans with me so she can do other things and go to parties and I hate it. I just want love. I hate being alone having no one to love or care for. She’s been stuck on my mind for so long and I just can’t get over her. I’m sick of it. It feels like she’s playing games with me and I’m so done with it. Why can’t she just like me. Why do I have so many uncontrollable things in my life? My height? My baby face? And my depression? I just need someone. I say I’ll push through it and that this is a sign to push myself and work on myself for myself. And it probably is. But I’m just eating like shit every day and I need to change that. I don’t know if this rant has even made sense or if anyone will read it but yea. That’s my story. Someone push me to change please. I hate being alone.

I hurt my friends seriously and now they likely can’t stand me. They still follow me on Instagram and are friends with me on discord, not to mention reply to my messages on Instagram but it’s sparingly.

I will be frank, I have serious attachment issues that reared their ugly head. I had introduced them and was jealous they got close and lashed out on them unfairly. I honestly didn’t know about these issues but after doing introspection I figured that out.

We were in a writing community that the three of us ran, I created it, on discord. I took a hiatus saying I’d be back in January but every night I am anxious and can’t sleep. I am irritable, jealous, depressed, and on the verge of tears everyday. I don’t vent to them like I used to, and I don’t talk about my full pains bc I feel like they’ll think I’m judging them. But idk what to do.

I feel like they hate me and would be better off without me. And I love and cherish them so much I am constantly beating myself up.

Well I met her for the first time in university, we were not friends right away it took us some time to become friends and now we are best friends, let's call her Lily It's been a year or so, I don't usually trust people but I gave her a chance I still don't know why, I never had this strong feeling about her betraying me.

Lately, something happened between us but before that let me tell you what kind of friendship we have: (I have financial problems and someone spending money on me is a big deal for me but it is her love language according to her) She is from a rich family so she takes me out and pays without even asking me, there are multiple occasions I insisted on paying she did not let me, I tell her that I feel bad it feels like I am using her for money. Still, she would tell me it was fine and all I usually back out whenever she offered to go out and eat but she told me she does not have any other friends who would treat her like me, I am just honest about things and she is quite dumb when making serious decisions. Hence, she asks for my help mostly and trusts me that I won't misguide her and I try my entire best to not misguide her, I don't give her advice that she should choose this or that I just tell her that these are choices and these are their consequences if possible she decides by herself.

now there is this other friend of ours who we will call Cactus (yes I don't like him )

he is very manipulative and he likes to be the center of attention always, he wants us to treat him like royalty even when he is the one needing our help remind you this is a grown-ass adult who might be around 25 he is older than both of us by 5 to 6 years, he has this massive ego which is very fragile.

well, Lily is very easily manipulated like very easily, if you tell her she did wrong even tho she didn't she will think she did wrong. and like I said it's her love language to spend money on people around her, she used to pay for cactus's food initially later she stopped Idk why,

whenever I tell her that Cactus is making me feel left out and I don't enjoy sitting with him and all, she understands not always but usually and we both would sit separately, I don't mind sitting alone but she won't leave me, even tho in the start she was closer to cactus than with me, but she would leave with me

this made Cactus not like me(I would be ignored in group conversations and all, and he made me feel lonely ), he thinks I'm the one telling her not to sit with him, I prefer to have as few people around me as possible while cactus wants us to sit with a huge crowd like 15 to 20 people, I don't enjoy large companies nor do I tell lily to tag along with me I don't mind it because I get overwhelmed with all these people and then cactus targeting me in front of all. there are multiple occasions he blamed me for Lily's actions, lily did defend me on multiple occasions but sometimes they were not enough she does not let me get away from him she knows I prefer not to argue over little things that's why I ignore him

cactus not only targets me he also doesn't like another girl,l Rose, cactus knows about her past mistakes and all, but he also used to tell BS behind her back all the time, he is so manutiplive he made her appear like a very bad person in front of her, later on, we girls started to hang out which made both me and lily realize she is not at all like what we heard from cactus instead we got to know that he is backbiting behind every single of us with one another,

there was this scene that was the main cause of my and Lily's downfall or so I think

some other friends including Lily were studying together there came the cactus along with a friend who is a damn creep, they asked us to let them join us for studying (cactus is not at all good at studying nor does he puts effort in studying but he acts almighty like "see I didn't study properly and still cleared the course" I'm like yea sure if grace marks are considered good sure be proud of yourself)

a day before this cactus asked me if I would help me study I said yes because it would help me revise too we had this conversation fofourike 4 times in a single day and every time I told him k I would help you out when I was done with the group study, what happened was that he was constantly disturbing and was annoying, others who were studying told him not to do it I did too I was exactly yelling or screaming or anything this sort I just was telling him to stop he didn't listen, creep whisper something in his ear and they got up and went away, then I did with my study I asked him over texts that I'm free, he told me that he was there to study not anymore I said okay whatever you want,

he called Lily and told her that I was extremely rude to him in front of all the people and that I think he won't be able to study without me, and even in texts, I was rude to him.

She texted me defending him over me even tho she was present there too that I wasn't the only one telling him to shut up or go away, she didn't believe me she said yea you were rude to him especially, I was devasted I responded normally like okay we will talk about this later.

I hated that she refused to believe me over him and she knows I never refuse anyone if they want me to help them out in studying and nor do I say things like they need me to help them or else they won't have a chance, she believed him.

I overlooked this but there is a thing that happened it's not related to me or Lily, it's about Rose well cactus knows her secrets and all (I don't judge her on anything those were mistakes or simply just her choices she didn't hurt anyone with these choices)

he had told everyone about it rose is unaware that people who she thinks are her friends are always judging her every move, the creepy friend of Cactus said something so terrible about Rose in front of Lily and Cactus, Lily told him off and not to say such things while cactus was laughing

Lily told me about it, and I told Rose about it because it was so terrible, and if I were in her shoes I would want to know about their true colors too

Lily got mad at me saying that she trusted me on this, i am wrong here in that I broke Lily's trust and told Rose about it, i did it in front of Lily to avoid any misunderstanding, i apologized to Lily for this but I don't regret telling rose about his true colors rose showed us cactus's chats with her being a sweet innocent man praising her and all while telling us the exact opposite of this, later lily said something I will never forget she said "cactus talks about rose behind her back and all but he is my friend he doesn't do it behind so it does not matter to me "

I was shocked to my core, cactus tells everyone about everyone's secret even his girlfriend's and she thinks he will not do this to her

what should I do now I'm scared to leave Lily alone with him, he will do unthinkable things, and she won't even realize

but I don't want to be around him

ik I broke her trust but rose does not deserve any of this either why should she suffer just because cactus wants to look like Mr know it all

I have recently cut off my cousin due to some reasons. We were really close and it hurt to do that but i had to. My best friend knew her too. So lately my best friend and i have been drifting apart and idek why. She hangs out with my cousin but we have not been able to even have one conversation alone without it being awkward. I understand maybe she wants feels bad and wants to be there for my cousin but shouldn’t she be here for me too?. I feel like she is choosing her over me . Idk what i am feeling and my heart feels so heavy and i miss both of them so much.

Friends with benefits destroyed me.

I know I'll be overly dramatic when I say this, but for me it's darkness. It's an addiction, really is. Addiction to something that's doomed to end.

I really poured my heart into her. I was so passionate with everything I said, crafting each sentence with beautiful care.

An hour ago I was sexting her, sending her my nudes, excited for what we had planned for tomorrow, and just a few minutes ago she said she wants to keep it just a friendship.

A part of my soul ripped from my chest just like that. I can't get my head straight, I am on the verge of tears but those assholes won't come out. My head is spinning, and hurting horrendously due to the lack of sleep caused by texting her late at night.

In an instant I went from being stupidly excited, to feeling my soul bleed. I was robbed of my well-being, and she DOESN'T EVEN REALISE, BY THE WAY... I really don't know what to tell her..

I know I did this to myself, I really shouldn't have cared about her that much given that it wasn't a relationship.. but i couldn't help it..

Growing up, I always thought being part of a group meant you’d never feel lonely. But even when I’m surrounded by people—at work, with friends, or even family gatherings—I can’t shake the feeling that I’m on the outside looking in. It’s not like anyone is outright mean or tells me I don’t belong. It’s more subtle than that, but it hurts all the same.

Take last weekend, for example. A group of friends from work decided to get together for dinner. We’ve been working on the same team for years, and I thought I was close to them. But when I showed up, it felt like I was invisible. They were laughing about inside jokes, swapping stories from a night out I wasn’t part of, and talking about upcoming plans I hadn’t even heard about. I smiled, nodded, and pretended it didn’t bother me, but by the end of the night, I couldn’t wait to leave. The ride home was the worst. All I could think about was why they hadn’t thought to include me before—or why I couldn’t seem to fit in no matter how hard I tried.

It’s the same story with my family sometimes. During holiday dinners, my siblings will chat about things they’ve done together—movie nights, road trips, little moments I wasn’t a part of. It’s not like they’re trying to exclude me, but I always end up feeling like an afterthought. Even when I try to join the conversation, it doesn’t take long before it drifts back to something I can’t relate to. I sit there, smiling politely, feeling more and more like I don’t belong.

What’s frustrating is that I’ve tried so hard to be part of things. I’ve reached out, suggested plans, and done everything I can to show that I want to be included. Sometimes it works, but more often than not, I feel like I’m forcing myself into spaces where I’m not really wanted. And that feeling of not being wanted? It’s worse than being alone.

i’ve started to wonder if it’s something about me that pushes people away. Am I too quiet? Too awkward? Or maybe I just don’t have that magnetic personality some people seem to have—the kind that draws others in effortlessly. I wish I knew the answer because, honestly, I’m tired of feeling like this.

At work, it’s even harder. I see coworkers chatting easily during breaks, planning lunch together, or sharing little moments that bring them closer. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there, trying not to look like I care too much while eating lunch alone at my desk. It’s not like I expect to be everyone’s best friend, but being left out all the time feels like a constant reminder that I’m just... different.

I try to remind myself that it’s not always personal. People get busy.. They form closer bonds with certain people for no particular reason. But logic doesn’t make the sting any less real when you’re scrolling through social media and see the photos of the dinner you weren’t invited to, the group trip you didn’t even know about, or the inside joke you’re not in on.

The worst part is how isolating it feels. You want to talk to someone about it, but how do you say, “I feel left out,” without sounding overly sensitive or needy? Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in this loop of pretending it doesn’t bother me while quietly wishing things were different.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Plenty of people have probably felt left out at one time or another. But when it happens again and again, it starts to feel like a pattern you can’t break. I keep telling myself that I need to focus on the people who do make me feel included and the moments where I genuinely belong, but it’s easier said than done.

I don’t have a neat ending to this story because it’s something I’m still figuring out. Some days, I feel hopeful—like maybe I’ll find my place, my people, and everything will click. Other days, it’s harder, and the loneliness feels heavier. But if there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s that belonging isn’t always about fitting perfectly into someone else’s group. Sometimes, it’s about creating your own space where you feel seen and valued.

So, here’s to figuring it out—one awkward moment, one brave step at a time. If you’ve ever felt like this, just know you’re not alone. And maybe, just maybe, the people who matter most are waiting to find us, too.

A few months ago, I faced something I never thought I’d have to deal with—trying to comfort my best friend after she lost her mom. It was sudden, a heart attack, and it left everyone in her family completely shattered. I remember getting the phone call and just sitting there in shock. What do you even say when something like that happens?

When I went to see her the next day, I froze at the door. I had all these things running through my head, but none of them seemed right. “I’m sorry for your loss” felt too generic. “She’s in a better place” sounded hollow. And “let me know if you need anything” felt like something people just say, but never follow through on. I stood there for a good five minutes, rehearsing words in my head, and none of them felt like enough.

Finally, I rang the bell. When she opened the door, I could see how much pain she was in. Her eyes were red, her shoulders slumped, and she looked like she hadn’t slept at all. I panicked and blurted out, “I’m so sorry.” She nodded and let me in without saying much. The whole visit, I kept second-guessing myself. Should I talk about her mom? Should I stay quiet? Was I making her feel worse?

At one point, she started crying, and all I could think to do was sit beside her and let her cry. I didn’t say anything. I just put my arm around her. And you know what? She told me later that was exactly what she needed—someone to just be there without trying to fix it or say the "right" thing.

That experience taught me a lot about what to say to someone who lost a loved one—or rather, what not to say. I realized that people don’t need clichés or advice in those moments. They don’t want to hear “time heals all wounds” or “everything happens for a reason.” Those words might come from a good place, but they don’t really help when someone is drowning in grief. What they need is for you to acknowledge their pain and let them feel it without judgment.

Over the weeks that followed, I tried to be there for her in small ways. I checked in with her often, even if it was just a text saying, “Thinking of you today.” I didn’t expect her to reply, but I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. I also made sure to listen when she wanted to talk, even if she repeated the same stories about her mom over and over again. I learned that grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and people need to process it at their own pace.

One thing that really stood out to me was how much she appreciated when people shared memories of her mom. At the funeral, a mutual friend told a funny story about how her mom used to sneak extra candy into her kids’ stockings at Christmas, even though she’d pretend to be strict about sugar. My friend smiled—really smiled—for the first time that day. It was a reminder that her mom wasn’t just gone; she was still a part of all of us through those memories.

Now, when someone asks me what to say to someone who lost a loved one, I always tell them the same thing: don’t overthink it. It’s not about finding the perfect words; it’s about showing up and letting them know you care. Sometimes, saying “I’m here for you” and actually being there is more powerful than any other words.

Another thing I learned is that support doesn’t stop after the first few weeks. In the beginning, everyone rushes to offer condolences and bring meals, but as time goes on, people get busy with their own lives. That’s when the person grieving needs support the most. I made a point to invite my friend out for coffee or walks months after her mom’s passing, and she told me those little gestures made all the difference.

Looking back, I realize how much I’ve grown through this experience. I used to feel helpless and awkward around grief, but now I know it’s okay not to have all the answers. Sometimes, just saying “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you” is enough. It’s not about solving their pain—it’s about being a steady presence while they navigate through it.

If you’re reading this because you’re struggling with what to say to someone who lost a loved one, I hope this helps. Just remember, you don’t have to fix anything or make it better. Let them cry, let them talk, or just sit in silence with them if that’s what they need. Your presence alone speaks louder than any words ever could.

So, here I am, putting this out there because I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve always been a bit socially awkward, but lately, it feels like it’s getting worse. It’s like no matter what I do or where I go, I just end up embarrassing myself or feeling out of place. It’s exhausting.

Take last weekend, for example. I went to a party with some friends, thinking it would be fun and maybe I’d finally feel like I fit in. But the second I got there, it was like all my confidence disappeared. I couldn’t seem to keep up with conversations, and when I did talk, I’d say something weird or just... wrong. It’s like my brain and mouth don’t get along when I’m in social settings. At one point, someone asked me a simple question, and instead of answering normally, I just kinda froze and mumbled something incoherent. The look on their face was enough to make me want to hide for the rest of the night.

And don’t even get me started on small talk. I have no idea how people manage it so effortlessly. I either ask a weird question or end up making some offhand comment that just makes things awkward. I try to tell myself it’s not a big deal, but these moments replay in my head for days, making me wonder if I’m ever gonna get the hang of this. I mean, is there some secret trick everyone knows except me?

It’s frustrating because I want to be part of things, but my socially awkward side keeps holding me back. It’s like I’m constantly watching myself mess up from the outside. Sometimes, I wonder if this was a reality show, would people be laughing at my awkwardness or maybe even cringing? I just want to know if anyone else feels like this, or am I just alone in my own socially awkward world?