Friendship Stories

We were playing black ops 2 zombies, kinda blazed, and being goofy. He suddenly does this spot on impression of Watto- Anakins slave owner in the Phantom Menace- and I just broke.

I'm asking him about how to spend points on this map we're playing, yk, come up with a plan. He hits me with the Watto "Annieee"

I burst out laughing and realized how bizarre the one scene in Attack of the Clones is. Anakin is searching for his mother, and he goes to watto for help. Tldr, he knows Anakin is basically a space wizard peace officer, and the first thing he says after homeboy is like 'yo, where's my ma?'

Watto: Ah that's great kid hey you wanna help me with some mafia deadbeats who owe me money? Annie please they owe me money' like WTF 💀💀💀 goofy ahh writing

Anyways

It's crazy to me that im just a kid and im already thinking about how life is gonna be when im gonna turn 20. Will i find a partner? (probably not). Will i find a house or a flat to live in? Will i struggle with rent? Will i finally get a cat to keep me company like one did in a dream of mine? Will i go out? I think u know the drill but one of the questions is different to me at least. And that one is: Will i even make it to 20?

I know i am a coward and that i cant do anything without guidance so the honest and most likely answer would be no, i won't make it to 20. But does that mean, that i have to throw all my dreams away now? My dreams of playing guitar, my dreams of photographing and my one and only important dream to find someone who will get me? Not even a partner but perhaps, my muse? My best friend? My soulmate? I always had a picture in my mind of this girl. Ginger hair, Freckles everywhere, long and sharp eyeliner, smoky eyeshadow, lip piercing, dark brown eyes, skinny figure, looking straight into my camera lens with eyes full of love and patience. Someone who would never turn her back on me but i know it's unrealistic, i cant find someone with those specific features but god i just wish someone could tell me that its gonna be okay, i will get through 20, i will be happy, i wont be stuck in a loop of working and laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, someone who would both tell me and make me feel like im worth something. Someone who will tell me that and say it to my face so i will never forget that.

This is so corny man i hate myself

I've been having an honestly bad track record with friends. They've either been "nice people" who turned out to take advantage of my old anger and I hurt a boy because of it. Or I tried to be nice and have fun with them, but turns out they're not super interested, and I'm a fool for trying. I just suck.

I have new friends now, but I have a holiday along with them. It's a school holiday. They say they've been to different countries or they're busy. I know those are real causes during the holidays as to why they don't talk as much, but I have a what-if. What if...they don't like being around me? What if when they message "I don't feel like messaging", they actually mean they're tired of me and not their trip or work? I've had some people say they're "Fine with me" but then they hang out with others and act like I don't exist.

I have this lack of trust because when they message and speak, they're so kind and say they're not bothered with me, and I ask them if they're comfortable or I apologize. I end up apologizing more while they tell me I shouldn't feel that way and "it's okay". I have just talked about my interests to you and you understand and you seem like you get it, but what if it's not true? What if you really hate me for being too much and too little? Too much of a freakish weirdo and too little of a normal kid? I suck at this because I've had such less friends over several years.

I feel like backstabbing them, making them know I hate them because they probably lied to me about enjoying me, because if you hate me so much, why am I with you? Why aren't you kicking me away? Why aren't you telling me straight to my face "Go die you hag"? I'd rather you do that than live with the fact I don't know if you hate me or not. I've had a bad depression phase for a while, I don't wanna go there again. I don't wanna rationalize an undeserved pain onto me, try to say "This is what I was supposed to suffer" when I don't. I don't wanna go back to "I'm a god who sees truth and everybody is pigs for looking on the bright side of things".

I've been trying to be more optimistic, but it's hard. It feels like a big risk, not right after you feel like everything could go wrong because you're undeserving of outside friendships. I wanna be more open with others but with the holidays, it feels as if I'm not doing enough for the friendship or doing too less. I've considered nuking all contacts and telling them hateful stuff because I think they could hate me. I didn't because I felt bad about it, I felt like I would do big damage.

I know they could be busy and that's why they don't respond, but maybe they're busy also thinking why I'm so horrible. They're extra quiet online cus it's the holidays now, mom says they're probably busy, but I get so nervous. Like I said, I feel like backstabbing, but when they see me and be so kind, I feel bad for even holding that knife. They are so sweet. They treat me with respect and they don't find my disgusting personality weird. I find my personality disgusting sometimes. I sometimes feel as if I don't deserve love outside of my family. Like my mom, brother and dad would be my only connection to humans and nobody else. Nothing lasts anyways except family. Dad tells me to always remember "Family First". Is this what it's like to have friends? Do they hate me? Is this why they're not responding online?

This will be a more uplifting post than my normal, venting all hands on deck type shit.

Halo: Campaign Evolved came our last week. It's alright, for what it is. But it's what it stands for.

In 2003, my brother first showed me Halo. Then, the following year, Halo 2 came about. It was an era I never forget, Lan parties and snacks and dragging your TV over to yo pals house so yall can throw down.

Alas, 343 doesn't know how to make a complete Halo, so there's no PvP :(

But I gotta say, again, for what it is, this remake really did bring us back to the co-op days. It was such a trip down memory lane for us, having spent years apart until recently, and the simplicity of a cherished video game bringing us, even for a few hours, back to our childhoods. Ahhhh, shiet. Don't you wish you could relive it?

Lately it seems like I don't have friends at all anymore. They're still there, but they don't respond very much. We're gamers, and every time I message any of them to set up a game session, it's a no or no response at all or it's something to do with the games I play being shitty games. But they play those same games an hour later or a few days with others. I just don't know what to think anymore. It's like I don't matter or exist anymore. When I explain how I feel to a few of them, it's usually something with "life's just too busy" which I understand, but for a year straight? A few months straight? When you're playing the same game/s with others? And streaming it as well??? Just say you don't want to be my friend and quit playing around. Or better yet, just block me.

so this is my first time posting and I really need some help figuring stuff out. im 19 years old but I dont know my own personality. I cant tell if when I speak to people its a customer service face or if im actually having fun. most of the time it just feels boring or like im faking everything. I cant find anything that interests me at all, I have no hobbies, I dont have a specific style or friends to hang out with, so I dont really know what to do, but when I do like something, I go overboard. weather its a new thing I find interesting (and then get bored and throw it out the next day) or its a crush and then I just feel like a stalker. note thar I dont actually stalk, but I do watch from afar. it sounds creepy I guess but I dont know how else to put it...please let me know what you think.

I'm making cards for some friends, and when I showed it to dad, he said it's not worth it because they won't value it even if they like it. I gave a small poster to a friend cus he wanted one. It's okay if he doesn't value it when I come back to school. It just tells me people aren't trustworthy outside of family. Family first, my family says. Dad really focuses on that mentality. I know my friends are nice, but since dad's lived longer than me he knows better. What's the point? I should just ditch the card and nuke all contacts. My disappearing will mean nothing to them. My disappearance will be me removing all contacts and never speaking with friends again, cus family first. That was for my Ivan friend cus he's a fan of Ivantill ship. It's okay, dad says friends are for fun. This isn't fun.

But dad says such people are weird or pathetic. We don't get gifts from friends, except my brother, he got a watch, a Lego set. Mom even got a brownie cake once and a few necklaces once. I don't know about dad though, and my friends haven't either. That means I'm disposable. I will never hang out with scumbags who see me as disposable. If they view me that way, they're disposable as well. Gifts are irrelevant if they never give anything back and even if they like it, what's the value? It's give and take, eye for eye, otherwise you're putting effort for scumbags who don't care for you. They act nice but I will never fall for that act. Not after so long ago I had been taken advantage of. I should never give it.

No one has given us gifts though. Sure some friends have and some relatives have, but it's not worth it cus they don't value it, especially friends. They're not in your family, they can never be in legal togetherness with you, not like family in records and passports, that's what dad says. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted lenses that hide the red flags. I feel like backstabbing them and yet when I see them be kind to me, I feel bad for holding a knife for them. I want to tell them to get lost and yet they seem nice to me. I have already worn glasses that made the outside world look red-flagged, I was so paranoid I didn't even speak to them. I didn't even know Genya liked me as a friend until I just went with her in a field trip and I had no one to hang out with, I just said yes cus she was confused what to do.

Do they have to be this high maintenance? Because right now dad's tempting me to leave them early. From his experience he says friends don't value whatever you give them, as much as they like it. I've had people smile at me but never connect whenever I talked about my interests. That's why I stopped. They would smile and just anyways think I was weird. Then they'd go back to pretending I was nothing to them. These people of mine are getting close to that territory. I love them but what if they're tolerating me? My family can only truly love me. How can random strangers from school feel it? We don't even touch often, even though we would've both felt weirded out by aggressive touch. Dad says such touch is considered love. We can't put friends in legal togetherness files, like husband and wife. We can't! I'm just the oil to their water, never able to blend. Even as an adult soon, I would never trust them, because dad says they never value me. They're traitors. They are the same to those who say yes to me before talking about their nonsense and their school accomplishments, like anyone would care. The world was always divided. This shows the division. They will always rat out someone. I'm planning to prepare a nuclear script before NUCLEAR OPTION.

A good friend of mine has DID (dissociative identity disorder). We've known eachother for about two months... and we hit it off, with a fight. Even though we've moved past that, it honestly feels like they're better off with nobody, at this point. I don't say this because I wish on their downfall--just that, I'm not any better than their past relations. I might be an improvement, but I'm not what they're looking for. I don't want them to suffer with someone who can't understand them completely, as only another system can fully comprehend what they're saying. No matter how many documents I make, how many terms I know, I won't ever truly be able to soothe their ache without having been in their skin for one day.

I've always kind of been the therapist friend, knowing just what to say to calm down a person from their crisis. I've noticed I can't quite ''handle'' neurodivergent people, and I want to change that. I want to learn, I want to be a person they can trust, a help in their life. I don't want to be a dead weight like most neurotypicals are. It genuinely hurts me every time I mess something up, every time I'm oblivious to their cries of help, every time their doubt doesn't get through my thick skull. I want to understand, to fix things about my behaviour, to stop being so sensitive over every mistake (Not to make this about me, but sometimes I do cry myself to sleep).

I wish I could ask them, but I can't. I genuinely cannot. I've got my own issues--feeling inadequate, emotional, temperamental... but I want to be atleast a little bit better for them. If anyone has any advice, I welcome it with open arms.

So I've been distrustful of certain things, which aren't anyone's fault, but I think the universe's.

You see, I have great friends, but for the 2 attempts I've had to hang out with them, it's never worked out. They say their families had other ideas or we simply couldn't do it. My family is anyways paranoid, wondering if their families won't even let them leave, and always say "But there are lots of kids who stay with their families!" Oh yeah? I see them, then they're gonna grow up like me and my aunt who don't socialize with anyone. Do they want me to hermit away? Be responsible for their messes? My friends are great, but you know, we're all just different atoms with different chemicals just interacting after all. And what if, just like the rules of everything that exists, I happened to be one of the people who was born to just not have any good times with FRIENDS?

I can only have fun with family. In my whole life as of now I've hung out with family, been on holidays with family, stayed with family. Family first is great, until you realize that means any friendship, any connection when you grow up, is scrutinized and burnt to ashes. when I'm 20, I won't be able to hang out with them, because guess what, it just burns away! Because the universe aligned itself to do it for me and a bunch of other hermits like my aunt! And like, what's the point? I should try out the NUCLEAR OPTION, just nuke every contact, why would they care? They've got a great gig going on, I'm just the weirdo with them who displaces things for them. Now there's this thing I want to go to with them, but you know what? How about I ditch them in September, flip them off and head out with mom? They're nice, but I can't have it anyways since the universe still thinks I haven't cracked it yet, so screw all of them.

There's this thing I wanna head out with them on that month and due to my 14 year long predicament (my entire life, basically), I have a feeling I can't. I don't know, I just made my mind. Going with them is a bad idea because it means I can't head out with them. Planning with friends so far has never worked out. What shot have I got growing up? I'll just live alone or with mom and dad, they'll need me soon. My aunt anyways stays with my grandparents, even though grandpa's been real exhausting sometimes. She's done it for decades now. That's my future. Taking care of my family. At least I'm not alone in that sense, because family is first, right? Gotta keep it no. 1 priority.

We are all just atoms reacting with one another to create thoughts and metabolism. Those atoms are shaped how everything works. Why we fall back onto Earth instead of fly away, gravity exists. Why we're able to think, it's just atoms reacting together to make us somehow work. I feel like I'm holding on with duct tape, and every time I see a friend group happy, that tape breaks even further and I just keep going at it. I wish they suffer sometimes. I wish they have to live life with the fact outside connection is impossible. To wonder why every time you think positive, when you're at your happiest, life will remind you that you're just atoms and that you have a set of rules given.

Rules such as these which I have so far:

1. I can't ever have an outing w/ friend

2. Can only have good days with family, ONLY FAMILY

3. Your friends are either great people who sometimes can't make it due to the universe's set of rules against me and a bunch of others

4. Or they can hang out with you but they're a-holes

5. That you are nothing more than just atoms so life has no meaning to it.

It's so stupid, thinking about this after all that happened and after all this time, but I miss my friends. I miss when we were kids and people mistook up for family. I miss when making mud cakes and playing with their cat was the most important thing we had to do. I miss we i could certainly say that they would never lie to me. I was wrong of course. But i believed It with all my heart because that was the closest i had ever been, and maybed ever will be, to someone.

And honestly, i saw It coming, I even said to their face, That i felt something was wrong. And they told me i was over thinking it.

And It was normal. We grew up. It was bound to happen eventually. But it still hurt when It actually happened. It still hurts now.

And I hate them now, and maybe they probably never even cared.

We will never be friends again. And I don't think i'll ever stop missing them. And It going to hurt everytime i meet someone even remotely similiar because i will never have that kind of connection again.

All my friends, so far away now. I'd love to make some here, in Toronto. I'm always my best with others, being alone is just too much. Gahhh

So guys i need advice like how do i stop being an actor and i dont mean in like a movie no more like i act when im with different peole like im part of this script where my part is of some irrelevant character in a sense like IM only their to build the plot like im always someone different personality different persona like how do i stop that like idk how to feel things kinda in a sense to get love i have to act this way to get people to like me i have to act this how do i be me if i dont even know what being me means like who am i what am like what is me what is my true self i dont know ive been doing this unconsciously for so long that i dont know who i am anymore kinda just like an imitator im just there and i cant even connect with people i just dont know how to be me if i dont know who me even is and even then its probably why no one will ever choose me because they wont even know themselves im just sad i always think i will get betrayed and when it happens in one way or another i think im right happens a couple of times and i dont know anymore guys like idk i really dont know and it doesnt help when no one ever makes the time to choose you to want to be with you or hangout with you what do i do because im going insane trying to figure what i am or who im supposed to be when i dont know who me is

So me and a friend that I haven't seen in a while was hanging out. I havent talked to him or heard from him in almost 2 years which was strange how he wanted too just "hang out". It was around 9:00 at night and I already got into my plush fuzzy grey pajama pants when he asked too hang out. I didnt feel like changing bc i was so comfy. So I just decided too throw my super soft fleece jacket on and go pick him up. Well I picked him up and we were just chilling hanging out and drinking beers in the truck. Thats when he asked me if I been seeing this girl nam abby and so i said yes ive been seeing her for months. As soon as I said that he reached right between my legs and got a super hard grip on my plush covered balls and I didnt have any underwear on bc the pants are super super soft I immediately whimpered and moaned and closed my legs which made his grip even tighter I felt so confused on why my balls were being squeezed especially through these specific pants and what he said next made every thing make sense he said " I figured you would be in these pants ive always wanted to bust your balls in them I just needed a reason and now I got a reason" I responded back with a breathless moan "wtf did I do pleaseee let go ahhhh" well apparently Abby was his recent ex and I had no clue bc I havent seen him in years.

I miss having my crew of friends. Moving to where I have, I'm new here. Got no one. With everything else.. it's just an odd thing for me. To be without friends.

Here's the situation: I'm 22 and started dating my friend's sister, who's 20. Now he's mad at me. Why? I don't get it!!! I've seen the movies where this is a big deal, but isn't this the real world? We're not in high school anymore! Sure, I value his friendship, but am I supposed to avoid someone just because she's his sister?! It baffles me how something so personal could generate such an overreaction.

In terms of friendship dynamics, boundaries may have been crossed. But isn't life about evolving relationships? Hello!!! This is not some teenage drama but reality where adults make their own choices. We found mutual interest (and dare I say affection?) and simply decided to explore that further—nothing scandalous, just two consenting individuals making independent decisions.

Quoting friends who were supportive: 'It's fine if everyone involved is mature.' Well, clearly someone's lacking that maturity here. If he has a problem with it then maybe it's time for him to reevaluate what respect means. My respect for him hasn't diminished just because I'm dating his sister! Can't we be adults and handle this like grown-ups?

The question mark here remains: What did I do wrong?! How do you address a friend who's upset about something that seems perfectly logical and benign in adult relationships? Do friendships really suffer when matters of the heart are concerned??? 🤔 Please enlighten me!