Friendship Stories

im 15. ive arguably dealt with more than most people my age do. even with the problem i have, i feel as if it is insignificant due to my privilege.

the main issue here is with a friend? acquaintance? i have. i met them at the beginning of freshman year, and they will be referred to as L. we immediately clicked over music artists we both liked. they began to tell all of their problems to me. wanting to kill themselves, harming themselves, drinking, and (i think) beginning to vape. i, on the other hand, had not dealt with something like this since seventh grade—when i was feeling the same way (minus the drinking and vaping). their issues began to rub off on me at the same time, and at one point we were both suicidal and wanted to do bad things to ourselves. i didnt know this then, but they were slowly isolating me from my friends, and i had begun to think that they were the only person on my side. the prevalent issue at this time was that, whenever we fought (which was often), they'd either set a suicide date where i could see it and mention me, speak about killing themselves to help me, or audibly say/mention that they had cut themselves. after eight months of this treatment, i told one of my other friends (K). this was in an open space, with other people, but i spoke quietly, and she looked concerned. at best. at lunch she insisted i tell our other friends, which i complied, and they all began insisting i tell a counselor about the problems between me and L. i was not convinced for the first two weeks. i only began warming up to the idea when another friend of mine (who was originally a friend of L's) told me that she had the same issues that we (me and L) had. we tell a teacher about this problem. three times. and she does nothing. after a while, L finds out, and we all break apart. now, with all this in mind, i cannot stop wanting to talk to L and just interact. i want them to worry about me, and i want to be their favorite again. this has made me unable to really do anything without thinking about them. i think that i may be jealous or something—checking on their social media and seeing them matching profile pictures with someone else genuinely made me stress out, and i dunno what to do about it.

just wanted to get it off my chest, i guess.

I have a friend who I call my sister. It did not start out that way. We met in social interactive chat room. I was curious about my sexuality, and this space let me explore that. She came into that room and we chatted she almost left, but I got her to stay and chat.

Now mind you I was already in a relationship with my now partner of 20 years. At the time I met my friend me and my partner had been together about 10 years. My partner is rather non adventurous when it comes to intimate exploration. I wanted explore my sexuality before I made a full commitment. mind you I only explored online not in person. All this is relevant.

At the time me and my friend only chatted online and threw video chat. It was wonderful we connected as friends. Nothing sexual, just two friends chatting. Occasionally it got raunchy, but it remained online and not in person. She did not push and neither did I.

My friend was suppose to come out to visit, but she ended up moving to where I lived. She moved out with 2 friends who ended up stealing from her and abandoning her. They left her stranded. She had by then found work and had people who helped her when her 2 friends abandoned her.

Before things went south me and my friend after she moved out to where I lived hung out and explored and got know each other in person. One thing led to another and we got sexual. She was into women, and I was exploring that aspect of my life.

It lasted a good year or two (the sexual exploration). But, there was a rift that was happening between me and my partner, and I stepped the sexual exploration with my friend.

My friend also has some mental health issues. she has had 2 thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore when she was out living in the city I lived in. Each time I took it seriously. She lived there for 9 years. Then her only parent got terminally ill and she had to move back to help her parent. Mind at that time one of my own parents had died, and financially things were not looking good.

My friend asked if I wanted to move back to where she grew up. It was less expensive and when discussing it with my partner we agreed, and moved back to the city she grew up.

The move was 2 years ago. I have since gone back to visit the city I use to live in for a friends wedding. My friend came with me because she recently had surgery and need help. I was the only one who has been helping her. Also her parent has since passed and her other parent passed years ago so she has no one. I stepped up to help her. So she came with us, and was miserable the whole time. Even though I took her to explore our old haunts while we were there.

On the last day she questioned me and grilled me about why our sexual interactions stopped. And I told her that I had lost my labedo and really had no desire for sex not just with her, but also my partner. Who I am still with. Still keeps hounding me about, three days after we have back to the city she grew up in. She is now talk about not wanting to be around anymore, how she cannot find a partner. How she has nothing to stick around for. Now that her only parent is gone she has no purpose anymore. How she cannot find any sexual release (she is hypersexual, due SA).

I am exhausted, I trying to get her to see how valuable she to as a friend and adopted sister. But it turns into arguments. I am doing my best but we are fighting. My partner say I just need to be patient with, but I don't take thoughts of wanting to end lightly. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I don't know what to do. What does one do? Any ideas? I am not afraid of being told I am in the wrong or what I have done wrong

moved into a tiny village and guess what? I have no friends (that makes sense, doesn't it?). it's like being stuck in an episode of some old sad TV show where the main character shuffles around with nothing to do. seriously! you think moving would make life more exciting, but all these promises of 'fresh starts' feel totally fake now. imagine walking through narrow streets that either look deserted or filled with folks who've known each other since birth, judging every step you take; feels like i'm walking through a movie set every single time, only here i’m the extra nobody cares about.

the boredom's brutal. watch paint dry kind of epic levels of bored; dying for social interaction that doesn't involve inner monologues or imaginary conversations with thought bubbles: 'what brings me here again?' everything i've read about moving it’s always this societal promise that if you transplant yourself somewhere new, suddenly life's problems magic themselves away. damn lies! met two people at the grocery store and they barely nodded back when I asked for cheese recommendations! 'breaking the ice,' they said. more like skimming along without causing any waves scared of potential cracks appearing anywhere in sight. tried quoting lines from my favorite shows (you know bingewatching while avoiding house chores), didn't even warrant a chuckle... Next time i'll try books.

I've been noticing lately that my best friend doesn't seem to be okay. It's a subtle change, but there's definitely something off about her demeanor: the usual spark in her eyes has dimmed, and her laughter, once infectious and frequent, now feels forced or absent altogether. We talk often; we're not just friends but the kind who have shared secrets and dreams, the kind who can spend hours doing absolutely nothing yet feeling completely fulfilled. However, even with such a close bond, I cannot help but feel a growing distance between us. I’ve tried addressing it directly by asking if she is alright, but every time she waves it off with vague assurances that everything is fine.

This situation reminds me of times when people fret over situations they can't quite pinpoint or explain. She’s always been someone who enjoys talking about life (quoting movie lines or referencing something hilariously unexpected from a TV show we both adore) yet now those conversations last mere moments before trailing into silence. It worries me because she's not just any friend; she's the one who's been there through thick and thin, my constant for many years. I want to be there for her just as she has always supported me; however, I'm at a loss on how to bridge this gap without being intrusive or making her uncomfortable with heightened emotions. Perhaps there's an art to getting someone to open up that I've yet to master? Keeping hope alive in my heart that she'll voluntarily share what's troubling her seems like the only thing left to do at this point.

Im going to be honest im jelly and j know i shouldnt be but idk how i feel its just my entire life is bouncing from friend group to friend group but then i fit in for bit and then fade away no one checks on me or anything kinda like im just a role i play then leave and no one ver chooses to know me i kinda wish i had someone that would have the same friendship like inside jokes or stuff like that and that is i never had a childhood started helping out with work at 8 never did any kid stuff like disney land or stuff never traveled or even done anything thats good for telling i feel like im just immitating people to fit in for a bit because my real self is just well nothing no real personality just what im worth which is money and sometimes i just feel thats all i really am is just money to be used and then just moving on to the next person’s like my entire life story is just money dad dying then money and to fit in i use that money to show im successful because thats the only thing i have thta makes intresting i guess its dumb i know but im just a boring guy nothing interesting and that just makes sad the ill just be bouncing drom group to group all the time

Okay so basically, I live in the same estate as this girl who goes to my school and she's 1 year older than me, lets call her Y. we only became friends recently and we've also started carpooling to school. I also have this other friend, E who also lives in the estate, Y, E, and me are a trio. there's also 3 other people in our friend group, but they dont go outside as much so it's mostly just my trio.

Theres this thing in our estate that is kind of a shelter for the rain, and somehow E figured out how to climb up on it. eventually, everyone except me knew how to climb up on it. this thing was pretty tall, and im super scared of heights, so I never went up on it. I would always feel super left out when they climbed up on it, and they would never acknowledge me when they were up together.

sometime I got the guts to climb up onto it and I succeeded, only thing was I didnt know how to get down, but I figured that out too after a bit of help. unfortunately, I started forgetting how to climb down, so I never went up on it again after they had to get my dad to get me down.

one day, it's a hot summer day on a Sunday and were all hanging out, then they all go up onto the thing and tell me that if I can tag them, they'll give me €40, I obviously didn't like this game very much since it made me feel like they were making fun of me for not being able to get up. so then I felt that I was going to cry, so I went over to E's bike and started going around the estate on it so they wouldn't see me. (E gave me permission to use it btw) after I got back they started whispering, saying that I look kind of sad, and I hate looking sad infront of my friends bc it makes me feel pathetic, so I told them that I was fine. at that point I was on the verge of tears, so I went another lap on the bike. once I got back, I had finally calmed down and I saw that E and Y had gotten off of the thing, and when was about to go over to them, they ran away from me. so then everything came back all at once so I did another lap around the estate and went to the estate playground and left my friends bike there, bc I saw my friends. so then I went into another estate, and they followed me. I ran away from them bc I knew I would cry if I went up to them. soon enough, they went back to the estate. after a few mins of hiding I did the same, and I saw them going into the other estate (to search for me i guess) they didn't see me though.

Then i saw E's mom walking over to me asking where E went, and I pointed to the other estate. When E and Y came back with E's mom they went straight back to their houses.

when i went home I texted Y on discord and I told her that i was sorry for overreacting. I didn't expect much from her, but I expected a little sorry. she said "ya we got into trouble cuz we were worried abt you". we did make up the next day, but i thought of that message for so long.

fast forward to Tuesday, we're playing a game on the fake grass, where we have to take off everyone's socks. Y and E hit my boob while taking off my socks. I felt myself start crying, but then I realised how pathetic I looked, so I replaced the pain with anger and hit Y in the boob. while I was trying to hit Emma in the boob she fell on her back, that was when I should've stopped, but I didn't. I hit her in the boob. she was crying, and she went back inside, I didn't get a chance to say sorry to her.

I wish that I would've done something different in that situation, I wish that I would've just finally opened up for once. the next day was my last day until I was going on holidays. Y said sorry to me at school, and I asked her if she could say sorry to E for me since they had tennis together, she told me to do it myself, I couldn't bring myself to knock on her door, not after what I did. Now I'm gone on holidays for the next 2 months, and I won't be able to talk to Y at school, bc she has transition year. the only text that Y has sent me was "hope you have a fun time in hungary!" and that was 6 days ago. I don't know what to text her. shes also gone on holidays so she can't tell E that im sorry.

I just feel like such a coward and a bad friend.

(pls tell me what to text Y in the comments)

so i've been pondering recently about what makes a good friend, and whether the ones i have really fit that description. i'm 35 now and these friends, well, we've known each other since we were teens. that's a long time to keep people in your life just because they happened to be there when you were awkward and pimply. but sometimes i wonder if they're the kind of friends i actually wanted or if i've just stuck around out of habit.

like, what even are the traits of a good friend? it feels like such a basic question but seriously. is it loyalty, honesty, someone who'll tell you when you're being an idiot or just nod and smile? do they need to share your interests or can you both just... exist together without any common ground?

let me give you an example: one time i was moving apartments and honestly expected at least one of them to show up and help with boxes but nah, it was crickets. sure, they had their reasons (don’t we all), but man, that felt crappy. maybe i'm expecting too much but isn't support during those times what you'd expect from friends?

ok ok so maybe i'm being harsh or putting too much weight on some trivial stuff but man it's exhausting wondering if you're misplacing your trust in people who won't reciprocate when push comes to shove. idk if this whole friendship dynamic is something that has some hidden guidelines nobody told me about. anyone else feel like this?

Asked out my friend and well got rejected not mad or sad kinda expected it but honestly the issue comes with me idk how to explain i hate my self yeah and i want to better my self but i never had real friends or a fun childhood i dont have any talents or niches but everyone around me does i feel talentless and well idk and well when i hang with my friends i dont connect or even in the friend group i pretend i play a role like in a play and the moment i fufill it i dissapear like they know im their but im not ya know its weird and i soe d money just to hang cuz well no one invites me to things and when people invite me its weird im starting to see the world through a lens of friendship can be bought because i have to invite to hang and spend money and i even spend money on them because i dont want them to leave i feel more comfortable in being used because well no one ever does the same for me invites me or just does it just cause idk i just feel like everything can be bought now if you have money and i dont mind being used if they stay friendship has officially kinda become dead now to me same thing with relationships idk kinda weird i guess i just hope they still need me i want to have real friends one day if thats even possible same thing for love if not ill just go on one time use all my money and just end it i guess just one day where i go out either a bang idk when i think about i just feel happy when i think about it i kinda cNt wait for that day mabye its just self sabotage oh well what can i do about it

I am not very use to have friends, at least not the kind of friends where you can just write something random during the day and not feel like you are disturbing them or being too dramatic. Most of my life, I was more the polite person in the background, the one who can speak with people, make jokes when needed, help with something practical, and then disappear without anyone really noticing. So when I became close to my friend almost a year ago, it honestly felt strange, but in a good way. We have alot of common interests, and our conversations can go from very ordinary subjects to oddly specific debates about things nobody else in my life would probably care about. I think that is why I started caring about him more than I expected. It was not some huge cinematic friendship, but more like a steady notification in my life that I was actually happy to receive.

Recently, he lost his mother, and I have been feeling quite clumsy about it. I want to console him, but I keep having the social confidence of a badly updated software release. I know grief is not something I can fix with a motivational sentence or a cup of coffee, but I also do not want to just stand there doing nothing. I sent him a message saying that I was really sorry, that I was there for him, and that he did not have to answer if he did not feel like it. Then I stared at the message like it was a professional incident report and started wondering if it sounded too cold, too much, too little, or somehow all of those things at once. I wanted to write something kind and not turn into a strange customer support email;

The difficult part is that I do care, very much, but I am not always good at the emotional “front-end” of friendship. Inside, I feel worried for him, sad, and even a bit protective. Outside, I probably look like someone trying to choose the correct button on a machine they have never used before. I remember one time, months ago, when I was feeling down about something personal. It was not a tragedy like losing a parent, of course, but I felt quite lost. He did not make a grand speech or pretend to have the perfect answer. He just listened, made one or two small jokes at the right moment, and somehow made the whole situation feel less heavy. I think about that now because maybe I do not need to produce a perfect speech either. Maybe I only need to stay available, gently, without forcing him to perform sadness or gratitude.

Still, I overthink everything. Should I message him every few days, or is that annoying? Should I offer to meet, or will that feel like pressure? Should I say “your mother” or avoid saying it because it might hurt? It is strange how caring about someone can turn simple communication into a full operational protocol. In my opinion, people who grew up with many close friendships maybe know these things more naturally. They understand the rhythm, the escalation level, the right amount of presence. I am still learning the basic user manual. I want to tell him that he can speak about her if he wants, or not speak at all if that is easier. I want to tell him that we can go for a walk, eat something, talk about nonsense, or just sit there like two tired people existing in the same room. But I also do not want to sound like I am planning a grief management workshop, because that would be terrible and probably very me.

I suppose the best I can do is be honest, warm, and a bit less afraid of being imperfect. He probably does not need me to become some wise philosopher with perfectly ironed sentences. He needs, maybe, a friend who remembers him, who checks in without making it all about himself, and who can keep a little normality alive while his world feels abnormal. I cannot remove the loss, and I know it would be ridiculous to think I could. But I can be present in small ways. I can send a message that says, “I’m thinking about you today,” even if it sounds simple. I can listen if he wants to speak, and I can accept silence if he does not. I can continue sharing our usual strange conversations when he is ready, because maybe ordinary things can also be a kind of comfort. I am not an expert in friendship, and I will probably make some awkward mistakes, but my intention is real. I hope that, even through my clumsy words, he can understand that he is not alone.

For as long as I can remember, I've always had a tight-knit group of friends. We did everything together: studying for exams, hanging out on weekends, and even planning future trips. But lately, things have started to change, and I'm not sure why. Conversations feel increasingly strained, and it often feels like I'm on the outside looking in. It's frustrating because we used to have this seamless connection, and now I can't help but feel like something's off. Am I doing something wrong? Did I miss some social cue along the way? 😕

The other day, we were supposed to meet up for dinner at our usual spot downtown. I was really looking forward to it because things felt normal again... or so I thought. Everyone seemed preoccupied with their phones and didn't engage much in conversation. When I tried bringing up subjects we usually love discussing, there was minimal response... even from those who would typically lead the discussion! It was like talking into a void. The only real interaction was when they burst into laughter over an inside joke I apparently wasn't part of. Ouch...

So here I am, trying to dissect every possible reason behind this sudden shift in dynamics among us. Could it be just stress affecting everyone differently? Or maybe they're moving on without me and I'm oblivious to it? I'd like to think it's temporary... some kind of weird phase they'll snap out of... but how can one be sure? This uncertainty is eating away at me in ways words can't fully express! Anyway, thanks for listening if you got this far.

how do i stop obsessing over a friend, it feels like losing a limb or some crucial part of my life. we were super tight, like closer than most siblings. we shared everything and now it's just... gone, poof like dust in the wind. i've tried reaching out but it's always one-sided, they're not interested anymore and it sucks big time. every time i pick up my phone my thumb hesitates over our old chat. what if this time they're ready to reconnect? each silence feels like rejection, tangible and heavy. can't shake it off no matter what.

i get caught in these spirals replaying convos trying to find where things went south. was it me? did they just lose interest? maybe they're going through stuff and i wouldn't know coz we're not talking anymore which is their own damn fault anyway! everyone says move on but like sorry, easier said than done when you've given so much of yourself into someone who suddenly vanishes from your life capriciously or whatever. advice-friends chirp in with self-care whoo-ha but really how do you just switch that off? feelings don't work on command!

I recently discovered my group of friends at uni are talking behind my back and it's got me feeling all sorts of ways! Like, seriously??? Why does this keep happening?! I mean, is it even normal for people to do this stuff... or am I just attracting the wrong crowd? It was a random night out when I noticed this strange vibe. You know when everyone suddenly seems to go quiet as soon as you join the group? Yeah, that happened to me just last weekend. Nobody mentioned anything directly to me, but you can just feel it. It’s in their looks, sidelong glances, and secretive whispers. Ugh! 🙄 Even though I'm trying not to let it bother me too much (easier said than done), it’s still upsetting. Why are we humans like this?! Life in uni is supposed to be fun and full of good times with friends!!! Not filled with suspicions and betrayal.

It gets me wondering: was it the same for them back then as well? Back when we were kids?! Like... maybe it's just something that happens?? I'm hoping that's not the case because I really want to have genuine friendships; nothing superficial or fake. Now, every time they talk or laugh without including me, there's this tiny worry at the back of my mind... what if they're laughing about something I've shared with them? 😅 Maybe I'm overthinking it all!!! There's a part of me that wants to confront them but I'm not sure if that'll help or just make things worse!. Wouldn't life be so much better if people were straightforward and honest rather than sneaky and two-faced? Yet somehow... I'm staying hopeful that things will get better. Because they HAVE TO right?? It's exhausting thinking everyone might have a hidden agenda! But who knows, maybe these bumps in relationships are what ultimately strengthen them onwards no matter how cliché that sounds?

So I face this situation where there's a pretty big discrepancy in salary between me and my friends (when I say big, I mean BIIIIG... like if my friends were european 🤣). They know about it, of course, and the thing is, they often expect me to pay for stuff whenever we're out. It's not just once or twice but almost every time we go out for dinner or drinks, I'm kinda expected to cover the bill, including tips 💸 I mean, it's not like I don't want to share my good fortune with them but after a while it feels like I'm being taken advantage of.

I've read some articles about setting boundaries in relationships which suggest open communication as key (like Forbes mentions that in their piece on professional relationships) but it's easier said than done 😅 How do I bring this up without sounding rude or pretentious? Excuse me if that's not the best word to express what i mean; What I intend to say is that I'm trying to maintain harmony in our friendships without burning bridges.

Moreover, I'm aware financial disparity can create tension within social circles. It seems inevitable yet addressing it requires diplomacy and tact 🤔 Am I overthinking it? Perhaps it's just my imagination running wild with no clear resolution at hand... My concern is that if unchecked, this pattern could potentially erode our friendship over time.

I sometimes hear people suggest splitting bills evenly as an approach but isn't it awkward asking friends who earn less than you do for their share? Having read podcasts on financial harmony among friends gives various perspectives but they all boil down to one simple question: how do we navigate conversations around money respectfully while still maintaining equity?

At times I've considered bringing it up casually next time there's a group hangout scheduled. Maybe something like 'hey guys let's try Dutch-treat tonight' or whatever might sound friendly enough not imposing at all; Guess I'm looking for advice from others who have been through similar predicaments.

I'm so tired of everyone acting like having no friends is no big deal. Let me tell you, it freaking sucks. It's not like I'm some kind of recluse who avoids people on purpose. I try to put myself out there but it's like there's some invisible barrier keeping me from making real connections. It's like everyone else got the memo on how to socialize and I'm just left winging it without a damn clue; I mean, how does anyone survive without a solid group of pals to hang with? People always say things like 'just join a club' or 'get out more.' But it's not that simple! I've tried joining groups, taking classes, even going to community events but half the time I end up feeling more isolated than before. And don't get me started on small talk at work, which feels like pulling teeth every damn time.

You know what's messed up? The way society constantly shoves this crap down our throats about being liked and having tons of friends on social media. Nobody talks about what it's like to manage when you're completely alone most of the time. Social gatherings feel like some twisted form of punishment instead of fun opportunities because I'm stuck comparing myself to people who seem to have effortless bonds with others. At this point, I'd probably cut someone if it meant having one genuine friend who isn't flaky or only around during their convenience.

So yeah, here's my rant for today: screw all those stupid motivational posts that say stuff like 'you are your own best friend!' or 'you don't need anybody else!' That's total BS when reality hits you in the face every night with no one asking how your day went or giving a damn about your existence. Maybe it's just me but having no friends is massively freaking lonely and exhausting 😒.

talking about what makes a good friend isn't as easy as just ticking off a checklist. different people have different expectations and values, so opinions on this topic can vary wildly. perhaps one person's definition of loyalty is not the same as another's, or someone might prioritize honesty over anything else. it's fascinating to consider what each individual perceives as vital traits in friends. there are numerous characteristics such individuals look for, and oftentimes these criteria may shift with circumstances or age.

i often find myself pondering: what exactly constitutes a 'good' friend? some say a good friend should always be there when needed, while others argue that it's all about being supportive during both victories and pitfalls. then there's trustworthiness: without it, relationships crumble more easily than expected, no matter how seemingly strong they appear from the outside. i tend to believe some level of understanding must accompany any real friendship; that unspoken bond enabling you to know when words aren't even necessary. maybe what counts is truly subjective shaping itself around life's many complexities.

what about your friends??