Friendship Stories

Everything for me has been so stressful. My friends at school, they can't stop bothering me every single moment of the day. Sometimes, they can't stop talking about random things that no one asked about, and theres times where they just forget I'm here. I kind of stand around every time they have a conversation, but every time a conversation actually includes me, It gets a bit boring or inappropriate. I recently got myself a boyfriend, but I wanted to keep it private and only share it between them. Of course, some of them can't hold a secret and told people. I got so mad, but I eventually worked it out, although I'm still really mad at her and now I feel like I can't share anything to anyone, which is usually a way that helps me deal with things. My boyfriends friends as well, they get really annoying and make weird comments every single time. I just don't feel like I have proper relationships with anyone.

I also do competitive sports, and I'm moving houses, so I also have to change sport clubs. I did a few trial lessons, and I hate that I can't talk to anyone. Everyone already knows each other, and I'm just.. there. I used to be so excited about all these things and now, I just feel broken. I have to leave all my current friends, who I have known for around 2-4 years, and none of them are coming with me. Every part of my social life is kind of falling apart and I just need help. I don't want to reach out for it because when my friends find out about this and get worried, they get all clingy, which I don't like at all.

People always say kindess is the most important thing, like if you be nice to people, good things come back to you. But honestly, I don’t know if that’s true anymore. I used to think it was, used to try real hard to always be the "good" person, the one who helps, the one who listens, the one who puts others first. And what do I get for it? Nothing. People just take what they want from you and then leave when they don’t need you no more. Like, I lost count of how many times I’ve been there for someone, helped them through something, only for them to forget I even exist once their life gets better. And it’s not like I expect a prize or anything, but damn, would it kill people to actually appreciate it? To remember?

I had this friend, right? She was going through a real bad time, like everything in her life was a mess. I was there for her every day, texting, calling, going over to her place, making sure she was okay. I did everything I could to help her. And she always said, "I don’t know what I’d do without you," "You’re the only one who actually cares." Made me think, yeah, maybe this time it’s different. Maybe this time someone actually values me. But guess what? The second things got better for her, she found new friends, started dating someone, got her life together, and just… forgot about me. Like I was just a tool she needed for that one chapter of her life. And that’s not even the first time it happened.

So what’s the point? Why should I keep trying to be nice, keep showing up for people when it never gets me anywhere? Sometimes I think maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m too stupid to see that the world doesn’t work like that. People don’t actually care about kindess, they just take what they need from whoever’s willing to give it. And then I look around, and I see all these selfish people, the ones who don’t care about anyone but themselves, and they’re the ones who actually seem happy. They do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and people still like them. Meanwhile, the ones who actually try to be good just end up getting used.

And don’t even get me started on how people treat kindness like weakness. If you’re too nice, too giving, people just assume they can walk all over you. At work, I tried to be the person who helped everyone, covered shifts, did favors, always said yes. And you know what happened? People just started expecting it. No one actually asked me anymore, they just assumed I’d do it. The second I said no to something, they acted all shocked, like I was suddenly a different person. And it made me realize, people don’t respect kindess. They use it.

Maybe I sound bitter, maybe I am. But I’m just tired of always being the one who cares more. Of always giving and never getting. Of always being the backup plan, the emotional support, the nice one. Because at the end of the day, kindess don’t get you love. It don’t get you respect. It just gets you taken for granted. And honestly? I don’t wanna live like that anymore.

so uh I sent you this link bc I just wanna tell you that i'm sorry for the huge argument we had it was over quite honestly the stupidest thing ever and idk why I'm not talking to you I just knew that eventually I was gonna say smt stupid and you'd actually hate me then- and I mean I did say smt real stupid lol, I'm rlly sorry for that but like i didn't rlly know how to tell you irl and ofc I didn't kick you off Disease :P I mean I could've if I wabted to but then who would decide whether or not Robin dies, right? so I mean you can reply to this on this platform or you can reply on the doc I sent you this on idrm, just know I'm sorry for what I said even if I don't remember what I said. and dw, things are fine now with me smt happened today that made me rlly happy :D I'll tell you about that if you wanna hear but if you don't that's fine :P

so I mean if you don't want to be friends I understand I rlly was an asshole to you and I did treat you like shit and i'm sorry for that, just know that I do care Abt you, and I'm sorry for yelling at you at lunch I didn't know it would trigger you and when you told me I was really pissed at that point and not thinking straight with my reply

I guess that day I was just really out of it bc I felt so horrible over what had happened that morning and with my parents and my grades and everything else like my memory problems and my temper was shorter than ever so please ignore all the hurtful things I said to you (even if it didn't hurt you) bc I was kinda out of it that day

so this morning in the hall on my way to Band class, a friend of mine passed, one of the Special Ed kids. Usually he just waves at me, and I smile and wave back, but today he said, "Can I have a hug?" And I said, "Sure!" and that was hours ago and I'm still smiling. That little interaction made my day a little better :D

here's your reminder that even the smallest of things, a little smile, a hug, even a compliment can brighten someone's day just a little!

I’ve never been good at the whole social thing. It’s not like I hate people or anything, I just… don’t know what to do around them. I’m 30, I work in IT, and I spend most of my time either at my job or at home. If I’m being honest, I don’t really have friends. Not real ones, at least. There are coworkers I talk to, sure, but it’s all surface-level. Small talk about projects, the occasional joke, maybe a conversation about whatever new tech is trending. But it never goes beyond that. No one’s inviting me out for drinks after work, no one’s texting me on weekends to hang out. I see other people who have their group of friends, who go to game nights or out to dinner, and I wonder how they even got there. At what point do you go from “just coworkers” to actual friends? Because for me, that part never seems to happen. I go to work, I do my job, I go home, and that’s my life. And honestly? It’s starting to feel… empty.

I know I should be more social, but I have no idea HOW. I tried going to a meetup once—some group for people in tech who like gaming. Seemed perfect, right? But the second I walked in, it felt like everyone already knew each other. They were talking, laughing, making plans for things outside of the group, and I just stood there awkwardly, pretending to be interested in my phone. Eventually, someone started a conversation with me, and for a minute, I felt okay. But then the conversation shifted, people started making jokes I didn’t really get, and just like that, I was back to feeling like an outsider. It’s not that they were rude or anything. They were just… normal. Comfortable. And I wasn’t. So I left early, told myself I’d try again next time, but I never went back. That’s the thing—every time I try, it feels like it doesn’t work, like I just don’t fit in. So what’s the point in putting myself through that?

The worst part is, I actually want to connect with people. I don’t want to be the guy who spends every weekend alone, eating takeout and scrolling through Reddit, watching other people live their lives. I want to be part of something. But the idea of putting myself out there again, just to feel like I don’t belong, is exhausting. And the longer I stay in this cycle, the harder it feels to break out of it. I tell myself I’ll start saying yes to things—yes to after-work drinks, yes to social events—but when the time comes, I just make an excuse. Oh, I’m too tired. Oh, I have work to do. But the truth is, I’m just scared. Scared that even if I show up, I’ll still be the guy standing off to the side, not really part of anything. And honestly? That feeling is worse than just being alone in the first place.

So where does that leave me? I don’t know. Maybe the trick isn’t to force myself into social situations where I feel uncomfortable, but to start small. Maybe I should try to connect with just one person instead of an entire group. Maybe I should stop overthinking every conversation, worrying about whether I’m saying the right thing, and just… talk. I don’t expect to suddenly become the life of the party, but I don’t want to keep feeling this way either. There’s gotta be a way to get better at this, to feel like I actually belong somewhere. I just have to figure out how.

It takes a village. You need to work on building your village. I feel I have but many times it’s confirmed my village is not very robust or even existent. It’s heartbreaking. People are nice enough for awhile but then don’t (or “can’t”) show up when you really need it. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong?

Everyone tells me to enjoy my uni years as they are the most fun and interesting years I will experience. The thing is I realized a place means nothing without having people in it. For the past year and a half I’ve tried looking for “my people” I went to every society event I could think of and I met so many people but I never got close to anyone. They always came in groups I was always alone and was hard to blend with them. I always reached out to them first and not once did I get a random message from anyone I’ve met. I was fine with being alone, studying at the library alone, going to cafes and events alone I didn’t mind it I found them chances to meet people but now I can’t stand it after mowing how hard I’ve tried so that I wouldn’t have to do these things alone. I’m fine with being alone but I just don’t want to have to be alone all the time. I get really frustrated and mad when I see the people I know post on their stories their hang outs and events they go to. I feel very left out and bored. I really did try I swear I’ve lost my dignity practically trying my best and always being happy and cheerful and fun to be around but I’m getting really tiered of it. I’ve lost all interest in everything

Honestly my dad is a massive bitch and im so close to losing my shit. Everyone i talk to just goes like “oh but he’s your dad” ok but im his daughter. He’s supposed to be the man i look up to, he’s supposed to be an example for me to look at for the future, he’s supposed to be my father but honestly all i see him as is just a nuisance. All he does is complain and complain all day. He’s spent thousands of money over a game while me and my siblings are over here starving some nights.

Sometimes i feel like sort of a burden. No one really talks to me, i usually have to start conversations. Or when the other person starts the conversation its just a quick one and they give off that they dont wanna talk to me. Maybe its just me but i miss being someone’s first choice. Would anyone choose me as their first option, or will i always be the side friend who people come to for advice only.

It’s pretty tiring but it’s ok, i have my gf. We dont talk much bc we’re both busy most days but i love her so much

I hate life :D

I always say or do something I don't mean, and then I can't apologise for what I said because I don't remember what I said. and I'm starting to think I have some serious memory problems because I can't remember a 2 hour concert. I don't remember what the songs were called, the faces of the people who performed, the songs themselves, I can't even remember the applause. All I remember from that night was the silly sound the band director made at the end of describing one of the songs, the sound was supposed to be the cry of a unicorn that was dying or something. And my mom's just like "oh it's your ADHD." Maybe that's it, but if I can't remember a two hour long concert or even a sentence I said or something I did it's gotta be something more than neurodivergence. I feel sick because I think I said or did something today that was insensitive, but I don't remember what it was, just that one of my friends was like "Don't do that, can't you see that's not what it is?" BUT I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT I SAID. OR WHAT HAPPENED TO MAKE ME SAY IT. and now I feel horrible, like I want to throw up then crawl in a hole and fucking die. And why shouldn't I? nobody will fucking miss me. I'm a nuisance, a burden on this world. I have become cumbersome to this world, to my friendgroup. I feel like I should relieve them of the burden that is myself. also me and some of my friends (B and E) are writing a story. E came up with the idea. We each have a character that we designed. But now I feel like I've completely taken over the story. E isn't on the doc much, and B is sometimes but only comments random things, never types anything himself. and I feel like I've just taken full control and I hate it when I do that, mostly because I do it on accident but I just got so many ideas and now I feel like quitting completely and letting the other two write it without me because I feel like they feel like I'm bossy and I don't want them upset with me. and my parents are also mad at me because my grades. I can't turn shit in because I lose it, or I don't finish it. Because literally every little thing fucking distracts me. I can't pay attention, I can't find my assignments, and my grades go to shit. I'm just so done with shit. I can't do this anymore. I just can't.

so i'm kind of not talking to my friends right now. I posted a vent on kandipad.com and one of my IRL friends saw it. we got into this huge argument. I don't really want to go into detail. But I haven't talked to anyone since the argument.

The vent was about how I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me. Also how I feel like a horrible person, because I say things that I don't mean or that are insensitive but then I can't apologize bc I don't remember what I said. And how I accidentally took over a story me and two of my friends were supposed to be writing together.

One of my friends commented saying that I'm not a burden. I didn't (and still don't) believe him. So we got into this huge argument about like idek anymore. He said at some point that I was mischaracterising him or something, and how I needed to stop with the self-pity, and I told him to leave me alone. Then he said I was treating him like crap. And I just kept asking him to leave me alone until he did.

Which begs the question:

Am I the problem?

When I posted last time about my friend, I wasn’t being mean or anything. I just want to vent out that it is frustrating sometimes that some of their issues take over the conversation. And it is unfair to a point where I feel like I’m a therapist. I don’t wanna be ridiculed or have this main character problem with a friend but I complain. Am I a bad friend? To anyone who think I am, I am working on it. It’s just that sometimes they are the one who controls the conversation and I tried to put my voice in it but they get upset if I say the wrong thing I hope that gives anyone who understands what it’s like to have a friend like that so am I a best friend?

I see my very best friend as my soulmate but a couple days ago she started to talk to this guy online. I feel like I'm being put second to him, in no way am i jealous of their relationship I'm happy she has someone she likes romantically. its only been a 2 days that i feel she's stopped talking or answering my messages. she's my only real friend and I'm scared we are gonna drift apart. We have been friends since we were 9th grade and we are both 20 now, I'm just scared. Am i overreacting and i do plan on saying something if it continues. I'm very scared.

(I'm not fluent in english so plz excuse my grammar.)

So..I have this friend who's so sociable—anxiety fears her. Let's just call her "A". We are in the same circle since grade 10. Our other friends are "C" and "D"

We both transferred to a private school when we got into senior high school. We did not get the same section. I got a new friend here in my current section and so does she. I only have 1 friend here due to my shyness or what so ever. We were so close and it feels like we're sisters. Let's call her "B"

Second quarter started, I let A meet B. They are not that close because B is more shy than me, but she's good at communicating. "A" changed when she got new friends in her section too. She lies whenever we ask her to go with us just so she can hang out with her new friends. She tells us that her mom did not give her permission to go out with us. Then we see her story with her other friend eating together.

So here's when I started noticing something to my other friends. Sometimes "B" and "C" refuse it when I ask them to go with me because I have to buy something or I want to spend some time with them. But sometimes, when I ask them if they could go with me, they always ask me if "A" would come too. They would say "Yes" when I tell them that "A" would come too. I'm so jealous. They won't spend time with me if "A" doesn't want to go.

This is a recent one. So, there's this one university I really wanted to go to. I told my friends that I wanted to go there before, I think in February. They said they wanted to go too. And now that we are allowed to go apply into that one university, they say that they don't want it now. I expected them to go with me. And then there's "C" I asked her if she would come, but all she said was "Is 'A' going too?" I asked her, "What if she will go too?" and she didn't respond.

I'm so jealous of that one friend, but I love her, I can't hate her.

I opened up to A. I told her that "B" is not who she is today—she's cold with me today, kept ignoring me, and was so quiet school. I even sent A my conversation with B. and all A said was "Ahh..so you're going out with her tomorrow?" in a jealous tone. I did not answer her because I know she knows that B and I would go film our project tomorrow. I focused on "B" not being her self today. I told her "I don't know what's happening to B." After that, "A" just sent a big big like (👍) and starting to ignore my messages.

They know I'm that "One" friend who always laughs and makes jokes. So when A get very sweet with B, C, and D, I ask her "what about me?" but she just rolls her eyes as a joke to me then say "Heh, who you?" or in our language "Heh, sino kaba?" It hurts me but I can't show any emotions like sadness because I don't want to be alone. Whenever she says that, I just say "I'm just 'my name'" then laugh. I always joke because I don't want them to know what's inside my mind. I feel left out sometimes too because B, C, and D always opens up on "A" and not me. I started to think that maybe it's because I don't know how to comfort a person? is it because I always joke around? I make my problems as a joke so they won't think it's real. Sometimes I say "Tawanan mo ang iyong problema" or "Laugh at your problems." I got this line on a song. I forgot the lyrics. I find it funny so I started to use it whenever I feel stressed out. They laugh with me too. I opened up to them that I can't express my feelings that much, that I can't comfort someone or I find it hard whenever someone opens up to me. I actually feel happy and sad whenever someone opens up to me because I think they trust me when they opens up to me and i feel sad because nga I can't help them.

I think they think that every words I say is a joke haha. I hate being me.

I and my friend have their own angst yes, but I've always felt so invalidated towards my feelings, I keep comparing our situations.

Like, one time I and my mom got into a fight which ended up with me crying in my room, but then my friend chats me about something negative that happened.

It's more of my fault of why I feel invalidated, I keep saying "my situation isn't that bad, look at them" hahah