Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 34

He was my first love. I loved him. But he didn't love me back. I was always there for him, if he needed me. Always there. Always. Yet he abandoned me. It Ruined me. I can't love anyone, the way i loved him.

Heyah!

This story isn't my own. It's from one of my teachers. And no names are included.

Dude was my Math teacher(HS). I was always curious about my teachers lives... So they shared.

At the time... I wanted to be a wedding planner. So, I asked a lot of my teachers about their weddings or their romantic relationships.

I was sorta the goodie-two-shoes. So they shared with me.

Back to my math teacher... He shared that he God super drunk on his wedding. And he bought a fake cake... Which I can understand for budget reasons, but at least get the top of the cake for the 1 year anniversary😭!! Dude didn't🫠. He bought Costco's sheet cake. Again, nothing wrong with that. I just personally think the getting drunk on one's own wedding isn't very smart.

The next story is if my ASL teacher. She was dating a dude for 7 years, then the dude cheated on her. She was very sweet... Albeit pretty shy... But cheating shouldn't be happening😑. Regardless of any excuses... Talk to your partner. Get therapy. Talk to some friends, family, even strangers can help give advice. Also, if dude had feelings for someone else, but still loved my ASL teacher... Is that really love? What is love? Dating for 7 years, you'd think all your opinions, beliefs, and expectations would align at some point.

Same goes for one of my therapists... Girly dated this dude for 5 years, no ring, and a cheater. My therapist said that she used to be a "plain Jane" but started eating healthier, taking care of herself, and simply enjoying her life more than she was before. She'd get dolled up and spend time with her SO. And the shitty part is that after a vacation to I think it was some sorta islandy area... Greece or Italy I think... Dude broke up with her after finding someone he liked better. My therapist at the time said the girl looked like how she used to be... "Plane Jane". Nothing wrong with a plain Jane... But come on, break up before the cheating. And due was cheating on my therapist for 3 years🫠. Sad ain't it🥴. By the way... This relates to school cause she was my HS therapist😅.

My personal love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch.

Yes, a person can have more than one love language. And technically, according to the 5 Love Languages... Food isn't one of them😂!

Food most likely is part of all of them other than words of affirmation... Unless one uses foods to describe their romantic partner🤔. Or uses food to convince their romantic partner via analogies in conversation🧐.

Most people I've meet are hard to interact with in terms of the words of affirmation😭. I've seen and heard a lot of the rest of the Love Languages being preferred. But society has a tendency to focus on actions more than words. But I personally feel very loved if someone actually talks to me. Both in-person and texting and calling. I don't need to take up their whole day, but I'd like to talk with someone... Anyone... Who doesn't feel overwhelmed by my talking style or texting style 😮‍💨. I genuinely don't think there's anyone out there who'd remember, comment, and enjoy reading 2 pages of texts🫠. But I enjoy words... I really enjoyed hearing ones poetic self. Even if it's not profound... If it's original and coming from the heart that's all that really matters to me. Plus honesty of course... Cause someone can create and original and one from the heart, but sometimes the heart isn't always in-tune with the mind. That may sound confusing... And it's around 1AM. So, I'm a bit tired. So ignore any parts that you don't understand... Cause I starting to not even understand what I'm saying either🥴.

By the way, where are the bestest places to make online friends or find online dating🫠. That's safe and valid😑. Cause I technically, at the moment, can't leave the house due to social anxiety... And other reasons... But I'd still like to make friends. Even if it's not romantic partners🙃.

I want a cat!

I want a CAT!!

I WANT A CAT!!!

But my family is allergic😭!!! Super allergic... Like asthma inducing allergic🥲.

This isn't a deep conversation... Just a hope that when I feel physically better and emotionally better, I can go back to college... Then get a job... Get my own place... And finally have a cat🤩!! But that's gonna take years😭!! I want a cat🫠!

Okay so I’ve been stressing about this for weeks now and I still don’t know what to do. How to break up with someone without completely crushing them?? Cuz no matter how I think about it, it’s gonna hurt, right?? I mean, he’s not a bad guy or anything, he’s actually really sweet and treats me well, but I just don’t feel it anymore. And that’s the worst part, cuz I can’t even give him a “real” reason other than I just... don’t want this anymore. Like, how do you tell someone who still loves you that you’re just done?? Every time I try to bring it up, I freeze or change the subject cuz I see the way he looks at me, like I’m his whole world, and I just can’t be the one to take that away from him. But at the same time, staying in this relationship just cuz I’m scared of hurting him is NOT fair, not to him and def not to me. I thought about doing it over text but that feels way too cold, and in person is just gonna be so awkward, I know he’s gonna ask why and what changed and I don’t even have a good answer. Should I just rip the bandaid off and say “Hey, I think we should break up” or do I soften it with “I still care about you but I don’t see this working long term”?? UGH it’s all so freaking complicated. I wish there was a way to do this without feeling like the worst person on earth but I know there’s not. And I know dragging it out is just making it worse, but every time I tell myself “okay, today’s the day,” I chicken out. Maybe there’s never a right way, maybe you just have to be honest and hope they understand. But what if he doesn’t?? What if he cries or worse, gets mad?? I just don’t wanna hurt him but I know staying is just lying at this point. Guess I just have to do it and deal with whatever happens after... god, why is this so hard??

My girlfriend and I (I'm also a girl btw) have been dating for a year and ½ now, and for the first 11 months it was great. We loved each other, and we were comfortable around each other, and we felt safe. We would show physical affection daily, and it was both of our love languages. We would spend so much time together.

But then the bullying started. It was a range of homophobic comments and slurs, to even my girlfriend getting physically attacked by one of these people. The bullying was sorted out a few months back, but things haven't been the same since. Me and my griflriend haven't held hands in months. We haven't shown any physical affection in months. My girlfriend doesn't tell me everything anymore and we've just drifted apart. Because ever since the bullying we've been too scared too be ourselves again. And it hurts me so much because I want to hold her hand, to hug her but she is too scared now because of the homophobia. I understand but it stil hurts.

I still love her but i think all the bullying changed her, and we both know she doesn't feel that way anymore. We haven't broken up though because both of us have been too scared to say it.

I feel so alone because she was the one person who knew everything about me, who still loved me and now we're so distant.

I’ve always had a habit of joking about myself, but lately, I’m starting to think it’s getting out of control. Self deprecating humor was kinda my thing—it made people laugh, made me seem approachable, and honestly, it helped me cover up any awkwardness. At work, it felt like the easiest way to fit in. Like, if I made fun of myself first, no one else could. “Oh yeah, I totally butchered that presentation,” or “Classic me, messing up again.” At first, it was just harmless banter, but now? It’s like I can’t say anything about myself without adding a joke at my own expense.... It's like if self deprecating at work has ruined my confidence... And the worst part? I think people have started to believe it. At first, they laughed along, but now, I catch these looks—like they’re wondering if I actually am bad at my job. Maybe they don’t trust me to handle big projects. Maybe I’ve been so good at making myself the office joke that they actually see me that way now.

The other day, I overheard two coworkers talking about me—nothing mean, but one of them said something like, “Yeah, he’s funny, but you can’t really take him seriously. He even says so himself.” That hit me way harder than it should have. I realized that all these little jokes, all the ways I downplayed myself, were actually making people see me as... less. Less competent. Less reliable. Less professional. I’d been so busy making sure no one saw me as arrogant that I accidentally convinced them I wasn’t worth much at all. And honestly, now I don’t even know if I believe in myself anymore. It’s one thing to use humor to connect with people, but it’s another thing to make yourself look incapable. And now? I feel like I’ve spent the last year making myself sound like a joke, and everyone—including me—started believing it. The weird thing is, I never even felt that insecure before. But now? Now I hear my own words playing back in my head, and they don’t feel like jokes anymore.

Now I’m stuck trying to figure out how to undo it. I wanna be taken seriously at work, but how do I suddenly stop making jokes about myself without looking like I’m trying too hard? It feels weird to just start acting confident when I’ve spent so much time making it clear I wasn’t. And the worst part? Even when I try to stop, those thoughts are still there. Like, what if I really am just average? What if they’re right? It’s like I tricked myself into seeing myself the same way I made everyone else see me. And the truth is, I don’t wanna be seen that way anymore. I know I need to change this before it completely wrecks my career, but I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I need to fake confidence until it becomes real. Maybe I need to just stop talking so much and let my work speak for itself. Or maybe, I just need to figure out how to stop believing every joke I ever made about myself.

A few years ago, my brother died. And it kind of ended up breaking me. I never got to tell him, but the truth is I was in love with him. I still am. I spend everyday thinking about him. Not just as a sibling. As everything. I loved him to the point it was almost obsession. Hell, it probably is obsession. But I can't get over it. Get over him. I can't move on no matter how hard I try. I love him. I'm in love with him, I need him, and I feel so depressed each day without him. I love my brother. His scent. His touch. If he were alive I'd kiss him. Cuddle him. Do everything a couple would do and more. My love for him is beyond the norm for most people. I love my brother. As a friend, as family, as a partner. Romantically, even sexually. I love him with every fiber of my being. And I miss him, so much.

So.

I’ve been struggling with different things for the past three years or even four, it’s been a while and I cannot remember exactly when this did start but I’ve tried everything to fit into what people want me to fit but at the same time I don’t care and at the same time o don’t wanna be a part of them, even if I try to be different I feel like if I’m just calling the attention or something like that and I’m afraid, afraid of myself and disgusted and…I don’t know what more, my mother did find out and tried to force me to get better by trying to make me fit in what she wants that just kept me pulling down

Platonic friendships are possible and I am a believer of that. I've had and still have very successful ones. Those friendships aren't even considered a "friendship" I would consider them a sister. I have 3 friendships like this. Unfortunately I can't anymore. I've spent so much time this girl and it's always been brother and sister love between us both. Looking out for each other comforting each other during hard times and it's been very respectful and the clear boundaries have not been crossed. I hoped that it would've stayed as that bond of brother and sister but when one starts to think of the other in a different light they die inside. You're left with 3 options: 1. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she accepts and everything will be great. 2. Die inside and tell her how you feel and she doesn't like that so you can't be friends. 3. Die inside and don't tell her and preserve your entire relationship with the person. Under other circumstances I would've told her and risked our friendship. She has a boyfriend who l have meant, respect, and love him for her. So much so that when she told me about him I almost cried tears of joy. With that being said I feel that it's only appropriate to distance myself and let the friendship be just memories. I feel it's unfair to her on whatever I do but I only know it's fair to myself if I distance myself. Wonder what your thoughts are on this.

I am in quater of my ideal age where I die. Here's a brief epiphany I have got, or it may be a idealist assumption that my ego is making, simplifying the question which has plagued people for centuries.

The world to me seems not that bad, at this moment. Sure it is difficult and unforgiving and cruel at the same time, and it is so hard to be happy, but I think instead of focusing on it, I should find peace within it. I am sure this is a paradox since it is going to be more difficult than the former, but I think it would be more lasting. To accept that I am a selfish, entitled, flawed human who has a warped sense of reality is a hard pill to swallow but necessary nonetheless. But I am nothing but a human, who will show humanity in times of decision even with all these flaws. This is my firm belief.

It’s been years now, but today still hurts like hell. Happy birthday, mom. I wish I could say that to you in person, hear your laugh, see that little smile you always did when you thought I was being too sentimental. But all I have now are memories and an empty space that never really goes away. People say time heals, but honestly? Some days it feels like time just makes me realize more and more how much I miss you.

I try to go on like it’s just another day, but it’s not. I see your favorite flowers at the store, hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you, and suddenly I’m right back to that ache I thought I’d learned to live with. I hope wherever you are, you know I’m thinking of you. I hope you know I’d give anything just to hug you one more time. Happy birthday, mom. I love you, always.

I’m so tired…..what should I do?..

I’m 32 and felt like want to end my life now..stay alive is more harder than die..

I never thought I’d be the kind of woman to struggle with something like this. I’ve always considered myself secure, independent, and mature enough to understand that everyone has a past. But here I am, years after a relationship ended, still haunted by retroactive jealousy... and I hate it.

It started small, just passing thoughts about my ex’s previous relationships. At first, it was just curiosity. Who was he with before me? What were they like? Did he love them the way he loved me? I thought it was harmless, just me trying to piece togeter the person he was before we met. But over time, those thoughts became something else. They became obsessive, intrusive, and worst of all: uncontrollable.

I would find myself scrolling through old Facebook posts, desperately looking for traces of his past. If I saw a name pop up too often in his old pictures, I’d spiral. Was she the one who broke his heart? Did he love her more than me? Was I just another chapter in his story, or was I something more? It didn’t matter how much he reassured me when we were together. The thoughts never truly left.

Even though we’ve been apart for years now, I still catch myself tinking about it. It makes no sense. I’m not even in love with him anymore, so why do I care? Why does the idea of him loving someone before me still sting? I know how ridiculous it sounds, and yet, here I am, letting a past that isn’t even mine eat away at my peace.

It’s not like our relationship ended because of some great betrayal. We simply weren’t right for each other. He was a good man, but we wanted different things, and eventually, we drifted apart. That should be the end of it, right? So why am I still fighting these ghosts?

I’ve read about retroactive jealousy, and apparently, it’s more common than people admit. It’s not about being possessive, at least not in the traditional sense. It’s about insecurity, about feeling like you’ll never measure up to some imaginary standard set by the past. It’s about comparing yourself to people who no longer matter, but feeling like their existence somehow diminishes your own.

I try to remind myself that we’re all just a collection of past experiences, that who he was before me had nothing to do with who he was with me. But some days, logic isn’t enough. Some days, I still feel like I was just one more name on a list, another relationship he filed away under “good but not great.”

If this was a reality show, I wonder what people would say about me. Would they pity me? Roll their eyes and tell me to move on already? Or would they understand how hard it is to fight a battle that exists entirely in your own head?

I don’t have all the answers, but I know one thing—I don’t want to be held hostage by someone else’s past anymore. Maybe acknowledging this is the first step to letting it go. Maybe one day, retroactive jealousy will just be another thing I used to struggle with. I hope that day comes soon.

Anyone to guide me here???

I’m currently a 32 yo woman in a stable relationship. My biggest wish would be starting a family with my long time boyfriend but we both agreed we should do that after having a bigger house of our own. Everyone around me is managing to do that (some have inherited their house from parents or relatives, others have already managed to buy one) and start a family of their own. We are currently paying rent for a small apartment and working our asses off to put away some money but house prices for a decent place (with some room for a future kid) still seem to be out of our range. I kinda feel hopeless at this point. Will I ever be able to achieve my dreams? It seems impossible to me as of now, I really don’t know what to do and I feel like my life is meaningless. I feel like I am late at life and that when we’ll be able to realize our project it will be to late for me to have a child.