Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 38

I took a nap earlier that was an unintentional 9 hours. During that entire time, not a single one of my friends messaged me to check in on me or strike up any conversations. It felt like that once I stopped putting in the effort for a little while, no one actually gave a shit about me. It feels that once I stop trying, I cease to exist in their memories. My one friend is putting more effort into their polycule lately and it feels like because of that they don't care to message me at all until it's late in the evening and the only thing they're messaging me for is to say goodnight and make empty promises to talk to me more in the morning. They're allowed to be happy, I'm happy they are- but what about our friendship? It feels selfish to ask that, feels selfish to want them to stop paying attention to them for more than five minutes to talk to me again. Hell the only time they talk to me like they used to anymore is if one of their wife does something that severely upsets them.

I’m so embarrassed!!! And I feel like this is the end of everything!!!

Oh my god!! What is wrong with me! And I feel so bad!! So so sorry!!

Ok, getting to the point now. So little context here. I’m leaving for grad school in like 3 weeks. That’s it. 1,2,3, gone. And this last couple months has been a little hard. I’ve really tried to keep it under wraps, but it ALL came spilling out last night. Anyway, my boyfriend of 3 years is going on a trip. He goes on this trip every year to the same place with his dad and his brother. They plan for it for around the same time every year. But in turn for this one trip, my boyfriend must sacrifice any future time off. More context, I’ve been planning a trip right before I leave. Not even a full week, just 4-5 days. And I know from the past that if I ask I’ll be told no. So I didn’t really tell him I wanted him to come. But I do. I had this unrealistic expectation that he would not go fishing one year so he could come on a trip with me since he knows we don’t have a lot of time together left. And it’s a lot to ask of someone, so I kept it to myself. But all this week he’s been working extra long hours to compensate for leaving. And I made sure to be at the house every night so we could see each other a little before he leaves, but it was more like he would get home super late, eat dinner, we’d chat about our day for an hour, and he’d go to sleep. And of course he put off packing until the last day. I had had a long day, so I decide I want to have a drink chillax and read a book while I waited. I grab one, and I didn’t realize that I was so dehydrated that two drinks and I was drunk. Which isn’t normally that big of a deal. But he’d been packing for 2 hours and I was spinning and thinking of all the things that have happened this year- graduated college, moved in with boyfriend, went through 3 different jobs, best friend moved away, parents divorced, and all the little things throughout the week, and I had a panic attack. I was overwhelmed and drunk. And I feel so bad cause he had to comfort me, but he should have been packing and I was just a problem, and he probably is so annoyed and is questioning everything, cause everything came out! All my emotions and just all the build up and maybe I wanted a little bit of attention, cause there had been so little this whole week and there won’t be any next week, but it was the totally wrong way to go about it. I wasn’t planning on getting that intoxicated, but I didn’t do a very good job at monitoring myself either. Anyway, there were a lot of tears, some falling over, just an overall hot mess. And I told him all the things I was feeling- just everything! In no coherent order or way! And I feel so bad, cause it was such a asshole move of me!

Anyway, that’s my rant. I feel bad, and now I’m hung over and my boyfriend is probably glad to have some distance from me.

I'm in my early 30s and since turning 30 I've been discovering myself again. I was in a 7 year relationship with a man for most of my 20s and I was also miserable and depressed most of my 20s. Just before turning 30, I finally seeked help for my mental health issues after the relationship ended and I realized I couldn't push my feelings down anymore. After some time I got help and got on antidepressants and got better. Before fully getting better I got into a situationship with a then coworker, who fell pretty intensely in love with me (according to him). I felt strongly too at the very start, he seemed really cool and all but as I got better mentally, I realized our personalities don't match. My depressed self liked him but my authentic self grew uncomfortable with him. He also pressured me into professing my love for him (like my ex did). Not long after that I kind of just broke it off with him, because I knew he was bad for me and I just wasn't satisfied. I wasn't working with him anymore, since I quit my job to study. I finally was all alone and I've been single like that for about 2 years.

I have almost no interest in relationship with men and I've actually started exploring the possibility of dating women. Tbh I haven't really thought about a proper relationship with women either but I've had some female crushes recently. I feel as though I'm coming into my full identity but am still hesitant to "come out" very publicly, which also means I don't use dating apps (I'm also very weirded out by them). I've always been pretty idk "queer" I guess, I had an online girlfriend as a teenager but it kind of freaked me out so it didn't last. But I've always felt some attraction to women. And I wouldn't deny it if someone asked, but I also havent really defined my sexuality nor professed it to anyone. Here is a good moment to mention that I am from a Nordic country, our culture is very repressed overall and I'm a very awkward and somewhat of a shy person. People would definitely call me weird and quiet. I currenty work at a place that houses young adults with mental disabilities, as a counselor of sorts. Last summer there was summer worker, a woman I found very attractive but she was so young and left after that summer.

There's also another coworker woman I've been I'd say... interested in for about a year. She's like a "permanent worker" idk how to else say that but she's like a regular, not a seasonal worker or a temp like me. Last year we didn't really have the same shifts and I very rarely even saw her at work. But the times I saw her, she left an impression on me since she's kind of a tomboy and seemed like a really cool person. She seemed different I'd say, and I have always been attracted to people who are different (even platonically). Finally, this year I decided to start doing more night shifts and I ended up on the same shift with her. It was an unconventional night shift also, because it was just the two of us there. There's usually 3 night workers doing rounds but one of our residents was in hospital, so the third night shifter was there. We talked a lot that night, I could see her getting more comfortable with me, since she usually never held eye contact for very long and seemed somewhat anxious before. I suddenly felt very brave and I held a conversation not to mention I asked a lot of questions. I felt I could really be good friends or even more with this person. After that shift I saw her occasionally at the start of her shift and the end of mine, as she does more nights and I do evening shifts. I was (and still am) always excited to see her and disappointed if I didn't get a chance to talk to her. Her eye contact got a lot better and she seems more attentive to me, as if she realized I exist after that shared night shift. I am actually really baffled how intense I am with her, since I'm usually very awkward and don't like eye contact with anyone. But her, I just stare whenever I get the chance.

This newly found confidence really came out this week, as I was finally again on the same night shift with her and another coworker. I can't even tell you how excited I was about these night shifts, even though last time we had more time together. But this time I came on pretty hard, even surprising myself. I think I might've gotten this courage from the fact that at the start of the shift we were talking, all three of us night shifters, and somehow got into talking about birth defects caused by acne meds and how women have to be on birth control to get the pills. She mentioned something about "having sex that you can't even get pregnant from" and I of course agreed with her sentiment on the matter. After that I just found every excuse to talk to her, to compliment her, to just be in her presence. I completely surprised myself and even felt kind of... proud? I ALMOST called her cute for getting so excited about a football match. She was watching some womens football in our tv room and I went out of my way totally awkwardly go there to be near her. I don't like sports at all but I made an effort to be interested and ask her questions about the game. I even at some point mentioned how the women playing are pretty. She was quite eager to tell me about football and I thought it was endearing.

I really made an effort to be interested in whatever she did or said. I even got a couple of chances to get really close to her and I just can't even... I really don't even recognize myself since I've always been the most awkward person ever. I'm not good socially, I'm weird and aloof and I never make the first step in social situations. This is so weird cause I know I'm really attracted to her, but I'm not afraid of her, like I've been of other women and men even. Am I just crazy, or do I feel some type of energy between us that allows me to be like this with her? I wish I could just... see her outside of work or something. There's a small chance of a get together that's being planned for August, where some people from work wanna just rent out a place and basically get drunk together. She signed up for it, and so did I because I saw her name. But idk if that will even materialize, or if I'll even be working there by the time this get together happens. Although if my work doesn't continue, I'd have nothing to lose if I just asked her out.

I also just found out that she is in fact 10 years older than me. I already suspected she's maybe late 30s or early 40s. She's very youthful tho, and I don't feel like we're really that out of sync, even with such an age gap. Oh boy idk, this is messing me up quite a bit and I'm feeling like some crazy person when I'm comparing our work schedules to know when I might have a chance to catch a glimpse of her. I don't really feel comfortable talking about this to my bestie, and I don't have anyone else to tell. I just have to vent somewhere. Also, heck, should I be worried that I keep crushing on coworkers?

People should stop judging people based on what they post on social media , messages sent to their friends and family or what insults and jokes they sent to their loved ones specially if it was done illegally without prior consent. They've only seen a 3 second conversation yet they haven't reflected to themselves they have gotten the messages illegally snooping into network and illegally obtaining them yet they want to be called " perfect". Oh and doxxing is also illegal add that to your "perfect" nature. Lol

PS. This isn't techically a "school story". The category options are annoyingly specific so I just chose a random one..

I have less than two years before I graduate highschool and I still don't know which university to apply to. Everytime I think of the future I get anxious. I don't even know if I'm gonna get the types of jobs I planned for and I haven't gotten other options. Then there's my mental health. I fear whatever mental issue I'm dealing with is gonna worsen in adulthood and I'm still too terrified to get a therapist. I can't tell my friends about my fear cause they won't understand (I told them once on Snapchat and one of them straight up told me to "stop bitching about it and just go do something". I just deleted the messages and cried.)

I'm also not yet comfortable telling my parents. (I wanna tell mom but she's pissed right now and I'm scared to go downstairs cause It'll be awkward.)

Part of me wants to just end it so I don't embarrass myself in the future.

I don't wanna see the comments honestly I'm just venting for no reason.

I have no talent, no real passion, im average or below average at everything I do. I resent my friends because they know what they wanna do, they found what they like to do, they have talent or just happen to have a fixation w something, which I don't, im boring. When people ask me what I've been doing w my life I don't know what to answer while I know that question its just an excuse for telling me how much they've done with their lives, I have never ever achieved something for my talent or something like that. im afraid im going to die without the pleasure of having done something of value while everybody around me feels like giants stepping on me while they walk. It got to a point where I don't know who am I, what I want or what was I made for, I feel stuck and spiraling through this angry sensation of everyone just achieving everything they want while im rotting in my 0 potential.

Thank you for the platform that lets me rant my feelings out but I believe it had come to an end. Did it help me at all in my mental health ? No but it lets me rant to thanks. More often than not it wrecks my brain by overthinking but thanks for listening to the drama of my life and I have to move on from this.

I'm done. Lol . Someone sent me a perhaps goodbye message but I am not quite sure if it was a goodbye text or whatever lol. What's weird is that he sent it after awhile of not being able to communicate with each other. For quite sometime. maybe perhaps another way of gaslighting me? Why would u even send a message if you are just saying goodbye? Lol I had enough of this drama I am DONE

My (now ex, I suppose) girlfriend had a really bad day at work, and is expecting things to be bad tomorrow.

She was texting me about it, just talking about her day like usual. It was getting close to bed time. During a break in the texting, I took a shower and brushed my teeth.

While I was doing that, she tried to initiate sexting. I didn't see it because I took a shower. I replied as soon as I saw the messages. I missed them by nine minutes total.

I answered her, and apologized, explaining that I was in the shower. No reply for an hour. I was a little worried she was upset, but figured she just fell asleep. I sent a goodnight text and told her I was going to bed, wished her sweet dreams, all the usual stuff.

I get a long reply a few minutes later, saying, in short, that because I wasn't there for her, she hit up one of her reddit friends to sext instead.

I asked her if she was being serious, hoping it was just some kind of joke. We have explicitly discussed that we would be monogamous, and it just seemed really out of character for her.

Come to find out, she had sexted with this guy a couple of other times lately when she couldn't sleep, and she felt like I had disrespected her by "ignoring" her texts.

We talked a little more. She seems to think this isn't a big deal at all and doesn't understand why I am upset about it.

I don't understand. She couldn't even give me ten minutes before she assumed I was ignoring her and ran to somebody else for attention? I asked her if she had been drinking or something because this is really not typical of her. She said she hasn't been drinking.

So I guess three years together doesn't mean anything because I missed a text by 9 minutes, and she was clearly doing this stuff before now.

I told her I couldn't talk about it anymore tonight and that I'm going to bed, and that I'll text her again when I get up if she still wants to talk.

I can't sleep. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. This is so ridiculous. Part of me is hoping she's just making this up to make me feel bad for missing her message, but that's equally strange behavior coming from her.

Things have been going well between us. We were just looking for a place together last week. This is insane.

I still love her, but I don't think I can just move on and pretend this didn't happen. It's "just sexting" but I know exactly how she would respond if things were reversed. She would never forgive me for it.

I don't think I can just forgive her either, but I know something must be really wrong, and a lot more serious than just work stress.

Or maybe I just don't want to believe that I've been a fool.

A few days ago there was a noticed from a school web site for trip. The condition was that to get prioritezed you needed to have good grades or have a hight level english. I have a really high level english and my grades are ok, lower than last year but still ok. I was thinking of trying It but then i talked with my friend who has even lower grades and she was really negative and started saying that we probably wouldn't get selected bc there were other with higher grades than us that It wasn't even worth trying. In the end only One other girl form my class went and had even lower grades than me but still got selected. So i Just wasted an oppurtinity bc i was insecure when i could've gotten selected and now i feel so stupid.

The worst part Is that It's not even the first time this year ( bc of insecurety and some other mental health issues) and now i feel like such an idiot for wasting oppurtinities like this.

I don't get why u need to test people in relationships/ potential if they " cheated" there mere fact the relationship did not even started yet all the "tests" proves that you don't have trust to your potential mate. Lol .

hi,i m thirteen years old and i am a female i have been struggling with my mental health for a year or two now and it’s sort of on and off -for example: it will go away for a few weeks and then it all just comes back at once like a ton of bricks the main trigger is my severe eczema i have had this skin condition since i was a child and it hasn’t been the kindest to me but recently it has been appearing on my face allot worse than ever it has been oozing and crusting over a yellowish colour and i have been so upset i haven’t even left my room brushes my hair or done basic necessities properly for weeks even month i know its disgusting but its my life unfortunately i used to scream at my parents for opening my curtains because i couldn’t stand the sight of light someone even looking at my face would send me into panic attacks and meltdowns i have gotten over this a little but my fear of leaving the house hasn’t i haven’t left the house in weeks now i feel a burden to others all of my friends go out and have fun but i dont i would rather sit in my room i know there’s something wrong with me but i cant get my head round it ii dont feel real i feel like a ghost someone help me please what do i do.

This is not a joke. I'm trying to be as serious as I can.

I’ve had a weird relationship with feet for a long time, but it wasn’t until 2018 until I started feeling like it became an issue.

I always had a sense of control with it, but now it just feels like an annoying bad habit.

In more and more places I go to, it seems like dangling shoes had become more common, distracting me and making me curious. In 2020, I discovered that I could heal if I actively searched for that kind of stuff, but when it surprised me, it made me nervous. Around 2025, my internet access had been severely limited, and now I can barely search for anything. I can’t look at these images in a comfortable place while at the same time not getting yelled at by my mom for using my phone. She will even notice when it disappears. Even worse, around April I found a new artist I loved, and I searched deep and got startled with a drawing of a character dangling their flat shoe. I also got into another piece of media that suddenly had the character heelpopping which took me off guard especially since I thought it wasn't the kind of thing to do that.

It’s harming me mentally and I can’t search for it willingly to try and relieve myself or draw/commission someone to help me with it. What do I do? What would you do? Also, sorry if this vent seems a bit weird, but I had no other way of letting it out without obvious ridicule.

I met a guy on a dating app, and we've since become boyfriends. He's 20, and I'm 22. We've been physically intimate to a degree, including kissing, and he wants to have sex. I'm unsure whether I should just go with the flow or think rationally before taking such a step. Since I'm older, I feel a sense of responsibility to ensure he is physically and mentally ready

trigger warning for attempted stabbing, suicidal ideation, and mental illnesses I.E schizophrenia and psychosis.

I feel kinda awkward using this, but i need to get this off my chest.

for some backstory, my mother has diagnosed schizophrenia and psychosis, and she also never stays on her meds. which led to two weeks ago, where she had a psychotic episode. She was going on about killing herself and leaving so she could, I was trying to stop her from doing so because she's my fucking mother and I don't want her to die. I guess she must've stared hallucinating because she eventually stormed into the kitchen and grabbed one of the sharp kitchen knives, holding it above her head with the point in line with me where my shoulder meets my neck. She looked at me, and her eyes were just cold and far away and swung the knife. I was able to grab her arm before it could actually hurt me. that seemed to snap her out of wherever she was because she then turned the knife on herself to try and stab her instead. I had to wrestle the knife out of her hand and lock all of the knives and scissors in our China cabinet while she was distracted. Not to mention how my dad wasn't even home and my mom just barged into our house. I'm just lucky no one got hurt and that my little sister (the middle child) was with her friend and my youngest sister was still at school. But at the same time, because she's schizophrenic, my family keeps telling me I shouldn't be upset because she didn't do it on purpose, they keep downplaying it and getting mad at me whenever I bring it up. i just don't know what to do, I keep seeing the look in her eyes whenever I close my eyes and my brain keeps playing it over and over. I've gotten like four hours of sleep total during the past four days. I feel so guilty for being scared and upset about this because I know it's not her, it's her mental illnesses. and I have diagnosed mental illnesses too so I get that. But I'm being forced to pretend like everything's normal, I still see her on saturdays and tuesdays and I still go to work. it's gotten to the point I have to go to the bathroom at work just to cry. and it's stupid because she's done worse to me so I don't know why this time it's affecting me so much. it's not like being forced to pretend it's normal is new either. I've been doing this since I was five, so why is this time so much harder? Why can't I just push it down like I normally do? Why is this the one that seems to affect me so much when she's done much worse to me before? I just wish it would all stop.