Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 37

Been imposing by everyone of being the strong one since day 1. Reality is not, but no space or chance to even show weakness. and surely a fvkn perfectionist.

so, i'm 23 and yeah, i have a driving license, but i just can't seem to get myself behind the wheel. it's like there's this invisible wall that i just can't break through. i know it's kinda silly, right? like, i went through all those driving lessons, spent all that time and money, and i can't even bring myself to drive. remember when you first got your license and felt all excited and free? well, let me tell ya, i didn't quite feel the same. the whole idea of controlling this huge hunk of metal freaks me out. it's a real bummer though 'cause not driving is kinda holding me back in other areas of life too. finding a job without being able to drive? that's like trying to catch fish without a fishing rod. you basically wave goodbye to any decent job that's not within walking distance or easily accessible by public transit.

i mean, i totally get it. people drive every day no biggie, right? but then my mind keeps running horror stories of accidents i've seen or heard about. cars skidding on icy roads, narrow misses, wild road rage. it just cranks up my anxiety sky-high. people often tell me, "oh, just go for a short drive, nothing to it!" but it's not that freaking easy, you know? sure, i've tried. there was this one time i managed to drive around the block. i was like, "whoa, look at me!" but then... panic city. palms sweaty, heart racing, you get the drift. i can't seem to break through it. do you ever feel like there's just this one thing that you can't get over no matter how much you try? sharing this in hopes someone out there gets it. maybe you had or have the same fear? i've heard of others overcoming it, so maybe there's still hope for me? any tips on getting over this scare would be super appreciated. thanks for hearing me out!

I’m 27 years old

I wish I could feel love again

The feeling of love is so beautiful

But sadly I no longer feel anything for anyone

I need to live a legendary love story that brings back my passion for life

What should I do

Especially that I don’t go out much

Ever wonder if anyone, and who would come looking, if you disappeared? I think no one would come looking for me.

I honestly hate myself so much. What I’m not changing I’m choosing right? And I hate even that too. I hate that I’m fat, my tooth is chipped. I’m not pretty. I’m unattractive in every aspect possible of a human. Even my personality is ugly. I haven’t dated in 7 years. No one found me good enough because I’m not good enough for anything. Even now nearing my 30s I’m still lost in life. It just seems like every day is a drag. Dragging along in life just hating everything and myself. I have no friends. I eat too much I drink too much. Everything just sucks. I’ve been getting a lot of rejection to the point where I feel like I’ll eventually just end up with someone below my league due to me being this hideous inside and out. I won’t be happy. Will I ever be happy? It seems I’ll end up alone at this rate. I try to tell myself there’s nothing wrong with that.. but will I be content with myself in the end of it all? Or will I crave for connections?

It is exactly as it sounds. I have a cat and a dog. I spotted fleas over two years ago. So we used spot on. Then they came back, so I used spot on and flea treatment. I have been doing this on and off for two FUCKING YEARS. I changed the treatment and they seemed to go. But I found them AGAIN!! One this morning on the cat. In retrospect, they scratched a lot between last sighting and now. So they never left. NEVER. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!! I HAVE SPENT HUNDREDS ON THESE FUCKING PESTS AND THEY JUST WON'T DIE. I WANT TO BURN MY HOUSE DOWN. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. I HATE THEM SO MUCH. I HATE THEM, I HATE MYSELF AND I JUST WANT TO DIE. FUCKING FOUL CREATURES!!!

I am fucking tired of your boring, grumpy cat pics. Its not even your own cat, its your friend's cat. Why are you sp high on ugly peice of grey fur. I actually liked your cat when I first saw her but you ruined it for me by constantly sending me cat pics and videos. I lie to you because instead of reflecting on your actions you block people and move over to the next one. I know why you get me gifts because without those incentives no one would actually want to be your friend. No wonder you have a problems in your marriage. I thoighyour husband sucks based on what I heard from you but after knowing your less than a year, I feel bad for him that he has to put up with your antics. You suck man. You suck big time. People leave you because you drain them emotionally. You are a not a bad person but you are exhausting. Your friends werent concerned when you got depressed. They kept checking on your because they couldnt really believe that you matured and stopped behaving like a teenager. I have seen your university stage performance and the second hand embarrassment I got... jesus. You not a performer. You are not a charm on the stage. Your poems are boring AF and recitating it only makes it worse. Stop it. Just sucking stop being so performative and thinking yourself as some sort of an entertainer. You are not and you need to care about the people around you and just fucking stop it. You are not an young adult who would roam around like crazy. You are in your 30s. GROW TF UP. You family vacation sucked, yk why? Because you suck. Your husband, sister amd cousins would like vacation like adults but you want to behave like 5 year old and they are sick of your antics.

Stop sending me ugly beach videos. I love beaches. Dont ruin it for me. I love waves. I want to go surfing when I can afford to vacay on a nice beach. Dont you fucking ruin it for me by trying to vc me showing waves. You voice, you mannerisms, I find everything to be annoying. Stop sending those edited clips (tf you adding a sad romantic song on a beach video?) and ugly edited photos. Why do you even edit? Why do you oive under the illusion that you are some sort of a creative genius. You are not. Please shrink yourself because you are suffocating everyone aaround you. No one, at least, people of your age needa a boring woman trying to be funny or the life of the party. You dont have that kind of charm. You are just embarrassing.

Hi my name is Zariah but I’d rather be called Luna..please I might be too young for this app at 11 years old but please don’t block me I have no one else to vent tok being to scared…I have loving parents and a loving grandmother who I live with..I have many friends and a trans partner but sadly they want to do suicide because of their abusive mother who tried to make them overdose…I know it’s selfish wanting to die when I have everything I need in life..but I just don’t want to live..I’m insecure about my skin..my personality…my selfishness…my body..I’m so hypersexual…I hate it..I hate everything about me..I want to die but I don’t…I just want a different life…I get judged a lot..I act crazy…I threaten people when I’m mad even tho I never mean it…I have almost 10 siblings 4 on my mothers side and 7 on my dads side I don’t want to leave my family but I don’t want to be with them neither…I want attention but I don’t want to be looked at…I want to be around people but I want to be alone…I feel pretty but I feel ugly…I feel touched and disgusting…I hate my body…I hate everything and everyone…but I still let everyone step on top of me just to satisfy them…I hate being beat up..but I love the pain…I did self harm too myself thinking it would help my grandmother understand how I feel..but she just made it worst by telling my dad and beating me up…calling me stupid and even trying to put me in a mental hospital…and honestly I want to be in a mental hospital…I want to be around people like me…crazy, insecure, weird, and stupid I want to jump but I’m too scared…I want to run away but where will I go? I feel like everyone hates me even tho they give me everything…I’m scared god is real so when I actually end up killing myself I got to hell…I want to cry but for some reason nothing will come out…I hate myself…but I love everyone else..?

hey there.... rn I feel so good lol , uk why .. okay first let me tell you that I'm a 21 years old female...and I am rn at just so calm... I feel nothing inside me... and nothing outside... not in a good or bad way..but idk why i feel like it's a temporary feeling of calm... or u can say I calmed myself through non stop dopamine hits lol ... and that's bcoz ... there's this guy online whom I talk to daily...and I feel like omg I'm so obsessed with him.. with his voice..with his questions...with his banters... with him teasing me indirectly through questions lol...ughhh why it feels so good lol....I'm really obsessed with him...like I continuously check for his texts lol ... like yesterday we talked for about whole night...and slept in the morning lol...I'm really more in comfort talking to him rather than having sleep of 7 hours lol... which I can take later...sorry world I don't wanna hear ur advices for my health...I already know it lol... but I love this feeling lol... no we're not bf gf... but we just love talking to each other so much ...it gives us so much peace in the whole day lol...and today lol he slept at 2 am... so I was like why lol...ik lol that it's wrong to think that...both of our sleeps are imp.....ahhhh but I already miss him so much lol....this feeling god....I feel a new calm inside me.... like I don't feel like talking to anybody else online... I don't feel like watching a movie or any entertaining content....but I do want to so something else lol.... but ngl he's always on my mind lol.. can't do anything...when I get his text or vm ... ahh that dopamine hit lol....

idc what the world says that I'm distracted or anything.... cuz I love this feeling even if it's temporary lol..I already know that ur gonna say I'm distracted.... but this introvert girl got so much open to him lol about her life....that now there's a new confidence inside me lol...I love our talks really...I always miss him... don't judge me lol.... but this is what I feel rn lol

And chill ik the stuff that ur gonna say that focus on urself... don't fall for this temporary dopamine hit... don't get distracted ...

But hey world listen I'm obsessed to him can't do anything rn lol... just love this feeling lol...

I feel drained tbh, my bestfriend blocked me today and I can't sleep.. I keep crying.. and pleading for forgiveness like a pathetic loser, which is I am a pathetic loser, I didn't mean to tease him too far I just wanna have fun, but I think the fun is too much.. I pushed it too far, I'm sorry

I'm proud to be gay. In this era of social media, heightened awareness, and AI, I've found that finding love is harder than ever. I've been hit with multiple rejections from people I liked; sometimes I couldn't trust them, sometimes things moved too fast, and sometimes it was my own mistake.

I've always believed I will find my right partner, but I wonder if I'm being delusional. Recently, I really missed one guy, but he seemed not to care and cut off our conversation. I'm skeptical about whether I'll ever be able to find my true love. I hope the universe is listening; I'm always waiting for him.

it’s been a quiet kind of question growing louder in my head: am I transgender? I’m 25, biologically female, and for a long time, I didn’t really question that. I did what was expected — grew my hair long, wore dresses when the occasion called for it, and played the part of a girl just fine. but over time, small thoughts started piling up. I’d avoid mirrors some days, or feel oddly disconnected from my reflection. I don’t hate my body — it’s more like... indifference? like I’m occupying something that isn’t mine but also not foreign enough to fully reject. I hear people use “she” and it doesn’t sting, but it also doesn’t fit. when someone once referred to me as “they” by mistake, I felt seen in a way I didn’t even realize I craved. how weird is that?! is that enough to question everything?

I’ve been reading and listening to people’s stories — memoirs like Detransition, Baby and YouTube creators like Ty Turner and Jamie Raines — and honestly, their feelings mirror mine more than any cis woman I know. it’s not about hating femininity; it’s about not feeling entirely rooted in it. sometimes I think maybe I’m nonbinary, other days I wonder if I’d feel more like myself with a flat chest and a lower voice. it’s not dysphoria that screams — it’s more like a whisper that never shuts up. I’ve even tried visualizing a future where I transition, and surprisingly, it doesn’t feel scary or wrong. it feels calm. like breathing easier. but then I second guess myself — what if I’m just making this up? what if I’m confusing admiration with identity? ugh, does everyone go through this kind of mental gymnastics??

I haven’t talked to anyone in my real life about it yet. it feels too abstract, like I need more “proof” or clarity before bringing others in. but I know questioning is valid. I know that not being sure doesn’t make my thoughts any less real. a quote I read recently stuck with me: “You don’t have to have dysphoria to be trans. You just have to know who you are.” and I guess I’m in the middle of figuring that out. maybe this is a journey without a destination — just learning, adjusting, exploring. and for now, that feels okay 🙂 if you’ve gone through this too, how did you know? did it hit you all at once, or did it sneak up like it did for me??

so, last night, I was at this party, ya know, just chilling with the crew, and boom, there's this girl. caught my eye immediately. we start chatting, she's like really into me, or at least that's the vibe I was getting. maybe it's just my mind playing games, but she was laughing at all my dumb jokes. that's gotta mean something, right? 🤷‍♂️ but of course, there's that part of me wondering if I imagined the whole thing. who knows, maybe she was just being polite or whatever.

now I'm sitting here, phone in hand, wondering if I should text her. like, is it too soon? everyone says there's this unwritten rule about waiting a couple of days, but like, who even cares about that anymore? screw it, just go for it. but then I think, what if I come off too eager or desperate or something? sounds dumb, but isn't that the kind of stuff that makes someone ghost you real quick? honestly, dating these days feels like walking on eggshells sometimes. 😒

we did hit it off, so it only makes sense to reach out, right? but doubt creeps in, like what if she's just forgotten about the whole thing? maybe she met ten other guys last night and I'm just a random face in her memory now. talk about a blow to my confidence. yet I keep going back to, she was seriously into our convo, so how could she just forget? 🤔 kinda feels like playing mental chess with myself. "dude, just shoot your shot," echoes in my mind, but easier said than done.

I remember something I heard once: "fortune favors the bold," but what if that's just some crap people say to get you to do stupid stuff? gotta admit, there's a thrill in taking action, but getting slapped with reality ain't fun either. texting her could mean making her day or just finding out she ain't really into it. better than not knowing, right? but man, the idea of staring at my phone, waiting for those dots or a non-reply, is brutal.

so, here I am, caught in this limbo, overanalyzing as usual. seems simple, just text her, ask how she's doing. casual. yet, kinda feels like walking into a minefield. not exactly a big deal in the grand scheme, but when you're 17, these things seem bigger. any thoughts, anyone? 💬 ever been in the same boat, trying to decode what’s right or how not to screw up? any advice before I hit send? maybe i’m just overthinking all this, but a push, one way or another, might just settle the madness.

I want friends so badly, it drives me insane. I have 3 friends but I only consider one to be an actual friend, because the others are assholes. I can’t hang out with my friend often because they live about 30 minutes from me and they go to school while I’m homeschooled. I have bad anxiety so I’m not good at talking to people at all unless I know them, It’s so bad that I can’t even talk to people online to try and make friends because I get too scared and worried. I want to make more friends that live close by so I can hang out more often and just have someone to go out with.

I want to go out more and get out of the house, but I don’t go out alone because of my own experiences with creepy men and pedophiles. It’s not that I want some just to have with me, but I want someone who I can connect deeply with bf not have to think about how and when to drive 30 mins to get there or whatever.

I want to make friends in my area, but everyone my age in my area are just assholes, which was one of the reasons I went into homeschool other than anxiety.

I have this deep feeling inside me like I just want to be held and loved, just to be with someone and feel safe and cared about with. I don’t know if I’m ready to get into another relationship yet since I just got out of a year long distance relationship about a month ago. I just crave touch and affection, but also that level of friendship where I’m comfortable enough to be myself.

I always get jealous seeing people out with friend groups and talking about their friend groups, I know how fun it is to be in friendgroups since I used to be in one a few years ago. I want that feeling again. I don’t know how to explain it but I just feel lonely.

Sure, I have my family, but they just make me feel more alone. My grandma always talks about how I barely have friends and need more, when I’m upset bc my friend did something my dad just tells me everyone is assholes and I need to learn that, my little sister makes fun of me for barely having friends. I just can’t handle it anymore. I’ve thought about suicide and running away, but it wouldn’t help.

For years I have just been wanting that feeling that I know I’m safe with someone for who I am and that I’m loved

I keep replaying the moment in my head—when i told her i wanted a divorce. after twenty years of marriage, saying those words felt like ripping out part of myself, but staying had become a different kind of slow death. she’s not well, her health is fragile, and that’s what makes it all so much harder. i’m not heartless. i still care. but i was living with someone who chipped away at my dignity for years. disrespect doesn’t show up all at once; it creeps in slowly. a condescending remark here, a dismissive gesture there, and before you know it, you’re invisible in your own life. i tried. really. therapy, talks, compromises that only I kept. and when i finally realized that no amount of loyalty would bring back the man i used to be, i chose to leave. but how do you stop the guilt when someone you leave behind is struggling physically? it’s not a movie with a clean ending, it’s more like walking out of a burning house that still has someone you once loved trapped inside. except that person won’t take your hand even when you reach back;

some people tell me, “you did the right thing,” others ask, “how could you leave her now?” and i honestly don’t have a satisfying answer to either. the guilt isn’t just about her condition—it’s about the idea that maybe i should’ve been stronger, more forgiving, more patient. maybe i failed some unspoken moral test. yet at the same time, don’t i have the right to protect myself too? we don’t talk about that enough—how emotional erosion can kill you just as surely as illness. i wasn’t trying to escape responsibility. i was trying to escape becoming a bitter, hollow version of myself. but now, every time someone says her name or i hear that she's been in and out of the doctor’s office again, it hits me like a sucker punch. do i reach out? would that help her—or just help me feel better? is guilt something that fades with time, or something you carry like a scar?

i guess what i really want to ask is—how do you know when you’ve done enough? when does choosing yourself stop feeling like abandonment? i read somewhere that “self-respect is the fruit of discipline,” and i’m trying to believe that choosing to walk away was an act of discipline, not betrayal. but most days, the line is blurry as hell. i keep showing up for work, paying the bills, calling our grown kids, pretending like everything is fine. but underneath, it’s like dragging a bag of wet cement everywhere i go. maybe guilt isn’t something to get rid of. maybe it’s just proof that you still give a damn. but it’d be nice if it didn’t show up every time i sit alone in a quiet room. so yeah—if you’ve ever had to choose between staying loyal and staying alive inside, how did you stop feeling like the villain in your own story?