Stories of Triumph, Conflict, and Human Experience
Life is filled with unexpected stories, challenges, and moments of drama that span a variety of experiences. Whether it's navigating difficult relationships, facing career setbacks, or dealing with day-to-day frustrations, these stories capture the emotional highs and lows that define the human experience.
From heartwarming tales of personal triumph to dramatic accounts of conflict and failure, each story offers a unique perspective on life's unpredictability. These stories explore a wide range of topics, from family dynamics and work struggles to encounters with difficult people and unexpected disasters.
If you're looking for a place to connect with relatable experiences or gain insight into the challenges others face, these stories provide a window into the complexities of modern life. Whether you're seeking inspiration, entertainment, or simply a sense of shared experience, you're sure to find something that resonates.
I am here yet again, if it's possible to click my username and see what all I've said, I still have no idea if that is something that can be done or not- my previous posts go over my situation in more depth. The short of it is: I am intersex, trans, mixed race, chronically ill and disabled and a trauma survivor. America is a hellscape, I need to get out of it, have for years and now here we are. I was attacked twice since Trump's election just trying to buy groceries, my doctor tried to take away medication I need to survive, as my intersex condition has severe health consequences that I NEED HRT for. It's not just about presentation for me (though it also helps dysphoria), it's that if I do not have it I will bleed out and my testosterone levels will go up so high it could cause heart damage or worse... I just say these things to be understood. My situation.
My mother and grandparents raised me with strict religious rules and the like, to the point where an exorcism was allowed to be attempted on me when I was thirteen or so because my obvious symptoms of a trauma disorder (among other signs of being a SA survivor) plus being intersex was a no-no. They wanted it corrected. I still deal with severe scrupulosity, guilt and just... Hurt, so much hurt and fear because of it all, it's too much to get into but that I think paints a clear enough picture even without knowing just all it included.
To the point. Current events are pricking at the 'be rapture ready' teachings I got shoved down my throat, I don't even know what I believe anymore, it's hard to feel belief or love for a god that you were abused in the name of. Who, if he's out there, has heard me scream and cry and beg and did nothing. If he's not, well... Is that better or worse? I don't know. I've been saying I'm agnostic but even saying it makes me feel like I need to kneel and beg for forgiveness for denying god so I just try to avoid it as a whole. Even so, though, there are still times where I give in to compulsions and wind up praying for hours for forgiveness and to be saved. Hurting my body in the process, as I have joint issues, that's my primary disability physically at least. The one time I tried to reach out for help for this, to my mother, her only response was. "It's never a bad thing to pray."
Every time I see someone say that it's the end of the world, in a religious sense or not, I just start sobbing and have to fight the urge to just pray and pray and beg until my throat hurts and my joints are on fire. Every time I see people in other countries say we are all responsible and can't be trusted due to Trump and MAGA, which don't get me wrong I understand because look at everything but I wish people would remember that there are people about to be slaughtered that tried to warn everyone about this that they're lumping in with their oppressors, I just want to do the same. Beg and plead with god to make this all stop. I have before, I did the other day, and asked for a sign that he hadn't thrown me away. Guess what happened next?
I found a bag of rotting meat that someone hadn't put in the fridge or freezer after we went to the store. I just broke down sobbing.
There are coincidences, I believe that it was one, the logical part of me. The part of me still grappling with the abuse, grooming and indoctrination I was put though keeps telling me. "He was telling you you're going to rot. You're disgusting, evil, you deserve the painful death awaiting you before you are sent to burn in hell." And, if you are reading this and highly religious, don't even bother commenting. I don't want to hear your proselytizing and hatred. I've heard any and everything you could possibly tell me, I assure you, it will do nothing. You won't get any good points with the man upstairs for converting a "lost soul." I'm not even an atheist, like I said, I just don't know what the hell I am and even if I am a believer the word 'Christian' now burns me given what has been done to me and the current state of the world. The rise of Christo-Fascism.
I have no one to talk to, so, I am going to now write something here I wrote the other day in a debate/conversation in an online circle that I saved to show my therapist so she could see how badly I've been doing. I just need someone to hear me, I guess? That's how and why I'm here. I googled 'anonymous venting sites' and found this here. I am sorry I keep spamming here. Now, the comment (and yes I showed my therapist):
"I hope and pray to whoever is listening that I manage to get someone to help me out of America before we're all caged in, I won't make it, I check damn near every box for people Trump and his not-sees want dead. I would say that I hope countries start allowing refugees from here, especially the most vulnerable like disabled folk and the lgbtqia2p community, but MAGAs fleeing what they voted for (and the ones who tantrumed over Kamala not being perfect enough for him so didn't vote at all which basically voted him in anyhow) are too big a risk to let in on accident. So, I know most likely no one will let us flee to safety, it's terrifying and heartbreaking. I can't say I blame them, though. Look at how everything is going, the things he is saying. Doing. So, as sad and scared and mad as I am, I give all support to them. I just wish that those who have been trying to warn everyone from the start, those on the chopping block first, were not forgotten and punished. I wish we could get thrown a life preserver. Here's to history never repeating again, to other countries standing strong, putting Trump in his place."
I really do feel like I'm just trying to crawl out of a Russian Nesting Doll, or a maze of cages, I was able to escape the first one my so called father trapped me in. Now, I'm in another, my mother may have saved me from him but has still kept me trapped. It's still no way to live, there is still harm, I'm just not in direct danger constantly like with him. I am afraid that the moment I finally get out on my own (I am a disabled adult dependent after being stuck with my father is the short version trying to find my way to being able to function independently safely) I will find that I'm just in yet another prison the size of a country. Or, a state, if it ends up with state to state travel even being banned...
I still keep praying even though it feels like no one is listening, I have to, I have no other choice. My brain won't let me completely give up on the possibility god is up there listening, won't let me deny completely, even if I feel pure terror first and foremost. And, well, I don't have any people in my life to go to do I? So, all I can do is cry and cower, complain in spaces like these or beg a sky that may or may not be empty (or at least hold something that despises me despite creating me) for help.
I can't self diagnose or anything but I'm 98% sure I'm autistic, the stories my family tells me about when I was younger add up to the autism symptoms I feel now. I've taken the Raads-R test or whatever it's called, I've actually take a bunch, all which lead to the general consensus that I do in fact most definitely have autism. I don't know how to tell my parents. they're asian and they told me a couple years ago that autistic people are weird and not normal or whatever and they probably dont believe anything i try to tell them. they dont believe im aromantic and that me being a tomboy is just a phase. life is becominig harder and harder and i dont know. i just cant do naything. the amount of stress increases every day and whenever i cry or say something about it theyre like oh its cause of that phone your addicted to. I barely have screentime because im so busy, i dance and im at school all day to the point where i only come home to sleep. they are. also pushing me to go to college, which I cant be bothered anymore. I dont. want to go to school anymore and I want to dance. I want to go to europe and dance or something like that. I don't know i dont thik my parents will support me. They'll probably be like u cant make a living, u have to go to college. you porblably got this idea from your phone didn't u. like idk anymore, what do i have to do to convince my parents
ive spent so much time noticing and understanding people that im just lost in how to express myself. it didn't really help getting bullied for being quiet and now im incapable of forming friendships:( there is only one person i love being with but she is a distant person and it makes me even more unsure of myself. I hate having to forever suffer with my confidence and social skills because of the ignorance of other people that treated me so horribly. So many times have i imagined scenarios where i wouldn't tolerate what they would say but im not strong enough to do it alone.. . I really wished people were nicer is it that hard ?
A dude I once had a “it’s complicated” thing with love bombed and leave. But I couldn’t leave cause I was too attached. I did end up leaving but it left me traumatized and always wanting him back. I don’t want him back anymore but the trauma is still there.
Don't let this darkness fool you. All lights turned off can be turned on. I'll drive, I'll drive all night. I'll call your mom. Oh, dear, don't be discouraged. I've been exactly where you are. I'll drive, I'll drive all night. I'll call your mom.
(song: Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, go listen to it, it's very comforting <3)
I know that there are people suffering more out there, I’m a great listener! But sometimes I need someone to listen to me as well.
I hope I’m just going through a teenage nightmare
I think my parents hate me, especially my mom. She just slammed the door at me
I mean I do love my parents, but why do they dislike me? Well here is the answer: My dad is living in Korea, and my mom is in Hong Kong with me. She wants to go back to Korea but she’s afraid that I’ll be too dumb to catch up on Korea’s harsh teaching environment. I think she wants me dead, I’m just being emotional am I? Well I hope I am, my parents wanted me, that’s why they got me, but now that they have me, I’m starting to feel like I’m ruining things. I wanted to make things easier and better for everyone, why how come things turn out like this? I made it worse for others, and twice as tragic for myself, sometimes I care about others a bit too much. My friends at school uses me, my teachers hate me for being too smart, or sometimes asking questions without evidence when other kids litterally threw a bottle across the classroom which could have hit someone hard. My parents hates me, my teachers hates me, why classmates are fake friends, who do I rely on now? The internet is my only hope I suppose
So apparently I don’t really care if this site it safe or not, I listen to way too many people vent in real life, and I couldn’t get a person to rely on myself, and it’s eating me inside. Whenever I feel stressed, I solve math problems, it increases the level of stress but at least it’s all covered up. It makes me forget about my past mistakes
And now here I am, venting here instead because I tried venting to people in my family but ended up in a disaster. My mom always mention that I’m the problem from letting her into peace, if I wasn’t born then she would have flown to Korea. I mean it’s true, it is. I’m blocking her. I just feel bad for others, and I don’t have time to think about myself, but when I mention this problem to others, why do they all just say that I’m too selfish when I’m too selfless? People at school uses me. For money, for food, or because they don’t have friends to sit with on the school bus. I do have a lot of friends, thanks to my personality, but when will be the day that I stop venting online and vent on my classmates on auto pilot mode? I bet they’ll all leave me.
I'm getting really annoyed with my friend B. he seems so distant now and everything I used to do that he found funny or smt he seems to find weird now, like he gives me a look when I do it. and he judges me for everything I do. Literally I've been changing myself so that I can be a better friend to him but he just doesn't appreciate at all what I do for him. it might sound like I'm being selfish but seeing as i've nearly lost sight of who I really am trying to be someone else for him I don't care how selfish I sound. and when he gets triggered he expects me to be like "OH IM SO SORRY R U OK DO YOU NEED A HUG" which I am like that when he gets triggered but he doesn't seem to care about my triggers or boundaries at all. literally ive had to start ignoring my own boundaries bc he ignores them all the fucking time. and I'm fucking done with it. I might be overreacting but idc. hes changed and now I'm not sure if were even friends anymore. when I'm triggered or upset he fucking jokes about it to "cheer me up" but I have music to do that. when I'm triggered, in the moment what I need is support and I never get that from him even if he's the only friend nearby when I get triggered for whatever reason, like he expects me to just fucking deal with it on my own. and yet he expects me to be there for HIM when HES upset or triggered! and then when I do to him what he does to me he's like "you are a horrible person" LOOK AT YOURSELF ASSHOLE! YOU DO THE SAME SHIT TO ME, YET YOU EXPECT TO GET BETTER TREATMENT FROM ME? THINK AGAIN BITCHFACE! and he also expects me to be interested in every single one of HIS interests and looks at ME like mine are WEIRD. He called me fucking PARASOCIAL for liking Kpop idols, like what? YOU SIMP OVER A FUCKING NUMBER FROM AN OBJECT SHOW! its like he thinks he's more important than me or something, and I'm done with it. I hate his fucking guts. I'm so done with his twisted idea of friendship . I've dealt with his shit long enough.
I fixed myself for you, just like you wanted me to! You wanted that, right? Of course you did. You saw I was broken and so I fixed it.
What did I fix? Well, I'm so glad you asked!
I'm not a Kpop fan anymore!
Why? You know why. You said it yourself: you saw my crushes on Kpop guys as parasocial. The connotation you gave the word was negative, so obviously you saw that part of me as broken. So I fixed it!
Here I am. New and improved!
Is there anything else you'd like me to fix?
...
oh.
You want me to fix that?
Don't worry, if it'll make you happy, I'll do it!
You'll recieve your new and improved Me in a day or two!
For now, enjoy the only slightly broken me!
Because this is what you want, right?
Of course it is.
And don't try to tell me otherwise. We both know I'll never be enough for you if I stay just the way I am. We both know I'll never be able to be a good friend to you if I'm just myself.
So let me change for you.
I might lose a bit of myself in the process, but if it makes you happy I don't care.
I hate my friend. It's like she never considers my feelings. She has never asked me how I am. Everyday it's like walking on a minefield around her, I don't know what will piss her off next. I hate how she makes me feel. Like I'm no one. I can't be my true self around her. I wanna end our friendship but that would mean I'd be alone for the rest of highschool. I cant make any other friends since I'm kind of a bullying target.
I don’t even know when it started feeling like this, but lately… I swear it’s like she hates me. My girlfriend, the same girl who used to hold my hand everywhere we went, who used to text me she missed me just 10 minutes after saying goodbye, now she barely looks at me. Every conversation turns into some fight, sometimes over the dumbest things. Like if I don’t reply fast enough, she acts like I’m cheating. If I ask for some space, she says I’m pulling away and accuses me of not caring. I try so hard to show her I love her—I bring her stuff she likes, I cancel plans just to be with her, I listen when she vents—but it’s like nothin I do is ever good enough. She’s always mad. Or cold. Or just not there. And I can’t lie, it hurts. It hurts more than I wanna admit, cuz I still love her. But it’s like I’m stuck in this weird loop where I’m trying to fix something that keeps breakin itself no matter what I do.
What’s even more confusing is that sometimes she does act like she still cares. She’ll cuddle up to me outta nowhere, or send a sweet message, or talk about the future like nothin’s wrong. And I hold on to those moments like crazy, thinkin maybe things are gonna get better. But then the next day it’s back to the same distance, the same anger in her voice, the same feeling like she’s annoyed I’m even around. I started questioning myself constantly. Like am I the problem? Am I really that bad of a boyfriend? I replay things I said, things I did, wonderin where I went wrong. And when I bring it up to her, she either shuts down completely or flips it on me. Says I’m too sensitive, that I take everything the wrong way. But it don’t feel like I’m being dramatic. It feels like I’m bein slowly pushed away by someone who used to love me, and I don’t even kno why.
I think the worst part is that I’m still here, still hoping it’ll go back to how it was in the beginning. Back when she smiled when she saw me, when we stayed up all night talking, when I didn’t have to wonder every day if she even liked me anymore. I miss her, even when she’s right in front of me. And yeah, I know it might be toxic, I know it’s probly not healthy to stay in something that feels so one-sided, but walking away feels impossible. Cuz what if it’s just a phase? What if she’s just goin through something? What if she still loves me deep down but doesn’t know how to show it? I keep askin myself these questions to justify stayin. But at the same time… I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like the enemy in my own relationship. I’m tired of wonderin every day, why does my girlfriend hate me? Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she’s just hurt, or lost, or angry about somethin else. Or maybe... she really does. And I’m just the fool still tryin to fix a heart that ain’t beatin for me anymore.
I’m just really tired and I wanted somewhere to vent that wasn’t to someone I knew, and it was better than my notes app. For the past 6 years I was severely abused in every sense of the word. I got raped at 14 in my school bathroom, and then it just kept happening from different people. I’m in college now which is weird. I moved out. Moved across the country and I just don’t feel better. I got assaulted again here. And then I was dating this guy for a few months and found out he was just using me for sex and he told me he never cared about me. Then I got pregnant and miscarried. He doesn’t know. Barely any of my friends do and they think I’m joking. I relapsed so bad that my wrists from elbows are coated. And I’ve been talking to this guy that I really like but I think he just wants sex too. I’m so sick of that being my only place of worth or value. I deserve more I just can’t find it. Anyways the guy that got me pregnant and doesn’t know texted me last night. I went over to his place and he just cried and apologized for everything for hours. It kind of made me spiral and crash out. My ex girlfriend who I never really got over also followed me on instagram so that’s insane. It just feels like no matter what I decide it’s the wrong decision and like everything is always my fault.
I have a friend group and I’m the youngest in the group. I’m already dealing with mental health problems again after I worked so hard to get better, and everyone in the group comes to me for help with their mental health. And fights in the group, I’m always the therapist in the group. And it’s getting so hard to deal with, I’m getting. Close to ruining my 4 month clean streak because I need an. Outlet for it, and I can’t leave the friend group because even though they’re making it hard for me they’re also the only ones keeping me alive and I’m just so tired..they all ask if I’m ok every now and then and I always say I’m fine because right after I say that they go to venting to me. I’m so tired..
Sometimes i'd want to reset my life like a video game (even though i know It's not) and start over and do everything right because i just keep messing up. I feel like i'm a failure and like i'm wasting my time and other people's because no matter what i do and what i try i never get better. I always feel so exhausted and tired and every day feels like It's getting worse and i don't even know how to explain It to people It feels like i'm rotting and It's been like this for years now and It's only getting worse and i don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of feeling this way and ruining the things I was working for. I just want to hide and sleep forever. I'm so so tired. I've been tired for years now and It never gets better.
My confession.
Well
I’m 14, newly 14. I recently have had a baby. Titus, is what I named him, no one knows. No one thinks that he’s mine, I’ve been just saying he’s my mom’s, she’s absolutely pissed about it but she loves him. I just can hold it in, telling people he’s not my baby and that I feel the longer I tell people he’s not mine the more he will think that I’m not his mother. I refused to stay at the hospital for the 3 days because I would’ve missed school and it would’ve been suspicious. So I went, literally eating pain medicine for lunch and breakfast. I have to pump everyday before and after school, I do this because He is tongue tied and breastfeeding him is difficult. The father doesn’t know yet, and I don’t think he ever will. What do I do?