Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 39

So, this all started a couple months back when school was just out for the summer. With nothing to do, I turned to my friend who, I'll just call squib. For context, squib has been depressed for years and had attempted a couple weeks before school was over. Causing her to go the mental hospital for about a week. She has another group of friends that I don't get along with too well. After her attempt, her parents put her on an extremely tight schedule, allowing only an hour or two at a time for devices. So, the story starts while on a call with her. We were playing some random Roblox game when her parents had to take her somewhere. She told me that she'd be back in around two hours and so I agreed and waited patiently for her. I was pretty bored during the time so I was just playing random games. It was 2 hours later and she still hadn't texted me. I just thought she was still out. Another hour. I'm confused. I then log back into Roblox and see her playing with her other group of friends. Oh... I text her in discord and she gives short- and somewhat incomprehensible answers saying "I'm distracting. Cali " alluding to her playing dandy's world with her other friends. I brush it off as being forgetful. But then this started happening multiple times. And Everytime it happened, I could feel a piece of trust being broken. I talked to her later and she said she would try to be better. And she did! She's gotten better about it... Or so I thought. Recently, she has cancelled last minute on me FOUR TIMES IN A ROW. And Everytime she's always busy. I know that her

Excuses are probably true because of her tight schedule but the fact that it happened 4 times is just crazy to me. I told her the 3rd time she cancelled that I was going to make a last ditch effort for her to come over and spend time and that she had the ENTIRE week to get her stuff done. But, in the end, she didn't make it. I would understand if it were some really long important thing that she worked on the entire time. But it was just planning for a roadtrip. She took breaks in the middle to game, read, and do other things (yes, I know, it's good for her mental health and all :c ) but she promised to hurry it up so she should come! I just... Don't know how to feel. She's broken my trust so many times and it hurts. But she has so many good explanations that just make me feel selfish. If you guys can help that would be very much appreciated 😞.

I kind of need academical advice but I don’t know who to ask. I’m currently studying microbiology and the way my country’s education system goes is like we have to study all 12 months and the breaks we get is like max 2 weeks. So I am not even able to look for internship opportunities because my classes starts at like 9am and ends at 6pm and my breaks are not even that long. I am at the end of my first year so I am a bit confused also a bit panicked. My university offers an internship project at the very end of our 4/5 year program but that’s after graduating and I did get one offer for research but it was handed over to senior students. I am very confused about what I should do? Is there any microbiology online internships? If so, is it a good idea to try them? If there are any microbiology students here then can you help me out please 😭

ok whatever im just gonna say it bc it’s eating me alive

there’s this new girl in our class and idk what it is about her but she just walked in and everything shifted like she doesn’t even do anything she’s just THERE and everyone likes her. like for no reason. like she breathes and people are like omg she’s so cool. why. idk. she’s just that type

and ofc my crush who ive liked since like forever is now dating her bc of course he is. he used to talk to me a lot and now he’s always around her like following her around and laughing at everything she says and they have this whole thing now and i just sit there like 🙂👍

and the teachers too. they used to come to me for everything. all the responsibility stuff. like being class rep, helping plan things, helping other students. now they go to her. suddenly she’s the one everyone depends on and listens to and im just here like a background character in my own class. it’s like no one even noticed the switch. not even me. it just… happened

but here’s the worst part i CANT even be mad at her. bc she’s actually really really nice. like painfully nice. i was crying in the bathroom once and she literally waited outside until i came out and then she just hugged me and didn’t even ask anything. another time i didn’t have pads and she just handed me one silently like she knew without me saying a word. and when i skipped school she gave me these notes that were like?? perfect??? she literally wrote them in different colours and put small tips on the side and was like “tell me if anything doesn’t make sense”

she helped one of my friends through a breakup, helped another study for a test they were failing, she even gave her umbrella to someone last week when it rained and walked home soaked and didn’t even mention it again

everyone loves her and i get it. i really do. i love her too in the weirdest way like i want to be mad but she’s just so genuinely kind and i feel horrible for feeling this way but i do. i feel like im being erased. like everything i used to be good at is hers now. people used to come to me. now they don’t even look twice.

i was top of the class. she is now.

i used to be the one who helped. she is now.

and maybe it’s not her fault. maybe it’s mine. maybe i got too comfortable or too tired or too slow or idk. i just feel like i’m disappearing a bit more every day and nobody notices. not even me. until now.

but i swear to god im not gonna keep sitting here crying about it and pretending im fine. i’m done being quiet. done being small. i don’t hate her. but im not gonna let her take everything from me just bc i was too afraid to speak up

im coming back. slowly or loudly idk yet. but i am.

that’s it. idk why i wrote this here. just needed to say it somewhere.

I just feel like such a horrible person, I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant, already having some contractions during the day and all. But even with all, I can’t feel much of a connection to my baby, I just feel huge and sick and tired.

I got pregnant due to a one night stand (which was my first and last), I’m still too young and in school, but even with it, I feel so guilty and like such a bad mom for not feeling much for this baby

No worries stalking me as long as you have a male phalange

my boyfriend asked to give us some time and space, that he’s really stressed right now. I don’t know if that’s just gonna lead to a breakup or what that means for our relationship. He said a week but I’m still feeling anxious about it.

I am 56 years old and met my best friend in university when we both were 19/20 years of age.

In comparison to me she had a hard upbringing. Her mother had her with only 18, father left the family when she was a small kid and built a new family with a new woman. This new wife tried to cut her out of their life as much as possible and her father went low contact. Her mother turned to alcohol, became a heavy drinker, which resulted in my friend living in different families until she got her own flat when she was 16, supervised by the authorities. Later her mom married again, also a drinker, and they got 2 more children (her mom died in her early 50s). My friend struggled a lot, but successfully managed school and made it to Uni. Without financial support from home, she had to work. Some of her jobs where in the grey Zone: escort service or selling used underwear to weirdos. She also got herself older boyfriends to make ends meet. In general she had a disturbed view on men and relationships. Kind of understandable.

We went through uni and started our jobs which led me into another Country. We always held contact though it thinned out over time due to working and being apart 300 Miles.

When I married she was my bridesmaid (in our culture we usually have only one). I struggled getting pregnant and she with finding a partner. Due to her background she had Kind of weird expectations, always thought her men were unfairhful, though she always had something on the side, just to be save in case of being Left. Morally I never supported her lifestyle but I could relate as she never had a real dad, a safe home and Security.

Then she met a guy, got pregnant after one month and married highly pregnant. A party would be to come after giving birth. At This point she was reluctant me visiting her. I understood (new marriage, baby and house) and I also went through IVF and more at the same time.

When I was 40 I finally had my child. We had contact via phone, but never seemed to manage visiting each other. One day we talked on the phone when all of a sudden she turned to short answers and ended the conversation. This was the last time we spoke, ever.

After a few months she accidentally picked up the phone when I rang, said she is in a hurry, will come back later and hung up. It’s been more than 10 years……for years I tried to call her, sent birthday and x-mas wishes. Nothing in return. I was and am ghosted completely.

BTW: During our last phone call we didn‘t fight or argued. I remember that I was talking about my father in-law, coz they had just stayed at our place the week before.

I am 90% over it, still I would give the world to know what happened. Was it something I said or did? I do not want this friendship back, but I feel I have the right to know the reason. It would just be fair! Funny thing: she is working as a psychotherapist, being praised online for skills.

Wonder what the internet has to say?!?!

i've never been more alone than before. my social circle has been getting smaller and smaller over the years. i recently got into a fight/discussion with one of my two only friends which i also had a situationship and i'll likely never ever going to talk to him again (he was venting to me about a situation and i was too sincere about that and plainly mean, i accept the fact it's purely my fault). i've been really angry about that and it's been 3 weeks since the last time we talked, I don't ever want to see him again really because even if i was mean, he didn't thought about my feelings since he literally abandoned me at my worst and he knew it, but i miss him... i miss him so much.

the other one doesn't talks to me nor reply to my messages, i've known her for like 7-8 years, we have always been great friends, but something i feel it's that i need her more than she needs me, and we both know it, and the only reason they have been my friend for so long it's because she doesn't wants to hurt me and make me commit suicide (i had attempts before, and she was there for me at those times and she was kinda the only reason I didn't). i've been growing paranoid about this, I don't want to get fully alone and I haven't talked to anyone at all for like 2 days straight. i feel that nobody has ever liked me at all. i feel desperate, so desperate. i'd like to make more friends, but i'm socially anxious and nobody really gets me at all, just them. martina is literally the person that makes me feel safe, understood, she's my sister of another mom, she's the only person that has ever understood me and the only one i can trust, but if it was all fake all along? i'm crying as i think about it, at the fact that maybe my love has always been unilateral and our bond was fake all along. i've created my whole point of view and philosophy around her, and the fact i never fully understood why she was my friend. that maybe it was part of my destiny to know her here and every other life i had, for us to be siblings... that idea has been shattering lately, and it's destroying my whole life, what little remains of it... i'm so alone, I don't know what to do anymore

I am getting annoyed about what you are doing pls stop you know what you are doing its getting hellish if you want to know my location just ask me but don't ever be crazy about it and doing background checks 😜 it's getting annoying ask me and I will tell.

thank-you for all of these nice comments i have started healing myself naturally i am slowly getting better each day and my skin is improving allot i am in CBT which is cognitive behavioural therapy, i have been in this for a while but my sessions happen at school which i haven’t attended in a while but im hoping i can work my way to getting back on that path but seriously thank you for your advice and support i appreciate this so much🫶

My husband often speaks in an angry tone. A Bit too loud, staccato. Just sounds pissed. When I ask, he never tells me right away whats wrong. I Need to did and dig. Sometimes he answers honestly, but often Not. Just a quick „no it’s ok“.

I cant bear it, especially when he used this tone with my 15 year old son. Of course the boy reacts and them it just takes off from there. I am fed up

Dealing with my parents relationship slowly falling apart. About 5 years ago my dad had stopped working and became a stay at home dad, except he never hung out with me or even was a dad, he was just a stranger in the house always on the couch looking at screen. I have to beg him just to make dinner, he soon turned depressive. My mom works multiple jobs, nannies multiple families, shoe store, gym, community center, and for rich families to look after their kids. My mom has been recently telling my dad to get a job, he brushes it off. So now my mom has began to be frustrated.

Present time about 3 weeks ago, I was in the car with my mom, driving me to hangout with my friend of 7 years. She suddenly speaks, "Hey, lilly-bug (nickname)... I want to divorce your dad. It's just that he hasn't been a good dad and hasn't been working, after 5 years laying around.." okay. Sure mom. I support you. I agree. I'm okay. Seriously I'm okay. Right? Anyway. I respond with a nod and tears spilling. She then speaking again, "I didn't think you liked him anyway, he never did anything for you..." you're right. He is a lousy piece of shit. But that's why I love him. I WANT TO KNOW HIM AND FEEL HIS LOVE GOD DAMNIT. but I'll never get that. Hell not even a damn hug. But I'll have to accept that. Not every family is perfect is it? There's always one person ruining it. Okay. I nod and start crying harder, causing her to say, "Come on, Lilly Jayne... Don't make me feel guilty.." GUILTY!? DON'T MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY? Mom you just crushed my world. You told me my life is going to change. And don't call me that or hold my hand. You'll only make me cry harder. So I force myself to stop crying but her words keep making it harder. I don't know why I'm so sensitive, she tells me that the world is mean and you have to be strong.

time skip. To Saturday. We were coming home from my grandma's house as I stayed the week, I love my grandparents,my grandpa is my father figure, i don't know what I would do if he died. Probably start cutting I don't know. Anyway. As we were driving we stop to get a drink, after we got a drink she says, "I've started to sleep downstairs in chrissys old room." uh. Yes it's confirmed, they are divorcing. I feel insane. So I just nod while gripping my pants as I tried to not cry. I don't know why I'm so sensitive. We just sat in uncomfortable silence.

And now this is present time. I can't look my parents in the eyes. Or even hangout with them. I cry every fucking night, hoping that my parents could just love each other and be mutual. Also I have to cook for myself and I'm in my early teens.

Hello. I’m 17, going into grade 12. And I know, whatever, teens are like this.. yada yada. But.. the thing is I feel like I’ve missed so much. That I will miss so much. It feels like there’s been something rooted in me that sets me apart, makes me unwanted.

I’m plus sized, and have been since I was small. I’ve been bullied most of my life, and honestly I’ve learned to live with it. I try to be myself, all the cheesy motivational quotes you see. But it’s just.. hard.

I’ve never had a real, required, stable relationship. I dated my friend for a while, but she was just exploring. I’ve never had a boyfriend, never had someone truly want me like that, so it feels. It hurts.

I’ve always been academic, but not extraordinarily so. I’m mediocre in ap classes, and that’s when I put my absolute all into that.

And while chasing that, I’ve missed.. everything. I’ve never been drunk, I’ve never smoked, I’ve never snuck out, or been reckless.

I’m just.. unremarkable. I feel so small. So invisible.

I get so lonely sometimes I can’t handle it. I don’t talk to anyone about my feelings. I resort to writing. Or art. But even then, I’m completely and totally unremarkable.

I want to be someone. I don’t have the motivation for anything. I just..

Idk. Am I being whiny? Should I just take more risks? Lose weight? How do I reach out- how do I take control of how I really want to live?

Lately, it’s felt like something inside me is breaking in ways I can’t fully explain. Like the pieces of me don’t fit together the way they should. I’m trying so hard to hold everything together, with tape, string, whatever I can find, but it still feels like I’m unraveling no matter what I do. And the worst part is, I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be anymore. I feel lost. I can’t figure out who I am or where I belong, because I can’t even be myself in my own home.

I always feel like I’m walking on a tightrope, trying not to slip up, because one wrong step means I’m going to get yelled at. Especially by my mom. It’s like I live under a microscope, every little thing I do wrong is magnified, and she comes down on me so hard for it. But when my siblings make the same exact mistakes? It’s like she just turns her head and pretends it didn’t happen. Like they get grace and understanding, and I get anger and disappointment. It hurts more than I can say.

It makes me feel like I’m never going to be enough for her. No matter how hard I try, it’s like I’m always doing something wrong in her eyes. I start to wonder what’s wrong with me. Why I’m always the problem. Why I’m the one who gets treated like a burden. And when someone you’re supposed to feel safe with makes you feel like you’re always falling short, you start to believe it.

I don’t say any of this because I want pity. I just want someone to understand. I’m tired. Emotionally, mentally, I feel drained. Like I’m constantly carrying the weight of not being enough. Like I have to be perfect to avoid getting hurt, but perfection isn’t even possible. So I feel trapped. Stuck in this cycle where I try, fail, get yelled at, and then try even harder just to not get hurt again. I’m scared to mess up. Scared to even speak sometimes.

And the more I try to bottle it all up, the more it eats at me. I feel like I’m crumbling from the inside out. I want to feel like I matter. I want to stop second-guessing every little thing I do. I want to feel seen, and loved, and like I don’t have to constantly earn my place. But right now... I just feel broken. And I needed to say that. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s hard. I just needed you to know how I really feel

When they did background checks to you but you are a born liar and when they do background checks you know so you give false info 🤣🤣. Been happening for two years now keep em coming guys. Lol.