Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 39

On January 21, 2025, I came home from school overcome with anxiety. I only slept two hours the previous night to make time to finish schoolwork, and my inability to think coherently caused a flurry of irrational thoughts I couldn't understand. All I knew was that they surrounded the unusual behavior my close friend Kennedy displayed at school that day: she was avoiding eye contact with me, her reactions were slower, and she seemed so out of it.

I am 16f, and I have this close friend who I've only known for three months but connected deeply with because of the past painful experiences we shared and our identical issues. We both secretly admired each other for the past five years or so, hanging out with different people in the same classroom and a few years in the same friend group, but we never dared to approach the other because we simultaneously thought the other person didn't hold interest.

She was the one to initiate things in the October of last year, in a time when I wasn't stable mentally and had pretty much given up all notion of social interaction and friendships because of my apathy. I saw her "HMM WYD" text and felt so bewildered in the midst of my inner struggles that I might've feel into an extreme denial of her intentions. I acted like a bully to her for a while because of that. Or to be more precise, like a tsundere LOL

But she was so persistent and vocal about her fondness for me that I found myself acting in a way different from my usual emotionless and inexpressive self. To say the least, she saved me.

But then last week, she opened up about the dark thoughts she has and how her family sees her as someone with a "mental problem." Since then she admitted to me yesterday that she has been experiencing a strange uncomfortable feeling, that she "used to like me to such an extent" but that something changed inside of her regarding her feelings towards me. She said she didn't know why. She said it wasn't my fault she was feeling that way.

I miss her so much.

Quick backstory, I'm between 13-16 atm, just to give a rough age range so you get an idea. I am a minor and this is how my home is.

I'll first introduce you to my family! Mother: in 50's Father:in 50's Older Brother: 20+ I also have other siblings but that doesn't matter too much.

My mother has stage 4 cancer and is extremely childish and easily irratated. She lacks empathy and often talks about her self and how much worse she has it when I talk to her about anything.

My father is an alcoholic, who works most hours of the week and spends his one day off, (monday) golfing with friends. He is often not home and extremely close minded and absent in my life. Refuses to go to the hospital or believe in medicine since "men are strong enough, and if I die, I die." Therefore I don't know if he'll die tomorow. :) (He makes up most the income we make and so if he dies soon, I am kinda screwed.)

My brother is on the spectrum, has ADHD and works a job atm. Extremely mentally unstable and has had therapy.

I'll just talk about yesterday as an example. My brother had another mental breakdown where he went on a rampage, screaming and breaking things. Heres a small list of what he broke yesterday, a set of joycons, a metal soldering kit and a ceramic bowl (With a hammer). This was all done when he panics, he also threw out a laptop he broke the day before that still partially works that he can easily use as he said him self. But he threw it out since he finds it hard to look at since its something he broke when he had a mental breakdown. He has been screaming at the top of his lungs and since he is taller and stronger than my parents, I am terrified that he would cause harm to members of my family. Not to mention I get terrible anxiety when he screams since I have trauma of him screaming in the middle of the night that he was going to off him self two years ago. In the same year, he has also stabbed scissors into his hand right infront of me and he passed out multiple times.

If I bring up any issues, my parents tell me that they have it much worse. Which is true, I run and hide when my brother has a mental breakdown but my parents need to deal with them, but I don't feel like they care about me at all. My sister is also mental and silently struggles and the other one also is mental. Life is great :,)

(Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense. I'm horrible with grammer and I wrote this quickly :,))

Thanks for caring enough to read this, this alone is more than my parents do for me now days.

My best friend and I have known each other for a long time. Our views used to align, or at least be similar enough. But over the past few years, she has been changing her mind about a lot of things, and now we have very few topics that we agree on. These aren't trivial things either, like the best snacks or most interesting movies. I'm talking about things like politics and core beliefs. I have no problem with her changing her mind on these things. I have another friend that has always had completely different values than me, and we're fine because we understand who the other person is and what they believe in, and we move on. That's why I have an issue with my best friend right now. It always seems like she's expecting me to be on her side, even though I've expressed my opinions on these issues many times over the years and she knows where I stand. Every time I disagree with her, which is becoming more and more frequent, she acts shocked, like she didn't expect it. Granted, I can be a pushover a lot of the time for smaller things, and she knows that, but I have always stood firm in my beliefs, and I thought she knew that as well. The conversation will go like this: she brings up a topic randomly and says "that's weird, right?" already leaving little room for me to disagree. I reply with something along the lines of "no, I don't think it's weird" and I leave it at that because I hate debating and just want to avoid this (which she is fully aware of). She then gets confused and asks me why it's not weird to me, and then I have to explain my perspective, which has been the same for years and shouldn't be new information to her. It's almost as if, in her mind, I'm more of an extension of her than my own person. At least that's how I feel.

i am soo tired. i just want to sleep and never wake up. i dont want to live but whenever i think to end myself i remember how i promised my siblings we would try new food together or watch a series/movies together or what if i just tell my parents how i feel , will they react good or bad maybe if its good i can or will be able to leave these thoughts behind but if not then i am afraid i might just do it . i dont want my parents to spend anymore more of there hard earned money on me , they already wasted so much money on me and its useless if its on me i am not even talented , smart , pretty or anything my siblings have sooo much more potential maybe i should have never been born so that i would not have troubled my parents my family so much , thanks for listening/reading , hope you have a great life.

so we’ve recently started dating, after being friends for like a year.

I know he didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable, he’s just a very blunt and straightforward person.

I unfortunately have really bad anxiety and a habit of anxious attachment style (which I’m currently working on).

basically, we were with his friends, and while they were discussing personal issues they all had, he just mentioned to his friends that he was an ex p0rn addict. good for him of course because I’m also an ex addict of that.

however it just made me uncomfortable. he only mentioned it once and never brought it up again, so whatever. idk things that unsettle me usually just end up sticking in my head for a while because I get really bad mental images and intrusive thoughts.

I don’t think I’m gonna discuss this with him, just because it was a one time thing and isn’t really an issue between us—it’s solely a me problem.

just like how can I work on my intrusive thoughts? I can’t get shit out of my head for like weeks and it’s just really miserable and infuriating, it’s like making me feel sick to my stomach because I feel so bad for him and I’m so disgusted just by it (not by him but by the addiction itself as, again, I used to have that addiction, so I know how much it sucks)

we were best friends before. i met him online outta nowhere one day. we talked and talked for hours without worrying about time. there were difficulties in our story but then now here we are with a very healthy relationship. hes always there helping me with anything i need ALWAYS. hes there when im low and in my happiest times. but for him opening up is a problem. he rarely does that cause "men are strong" is his approch but he softens whenever he opens up for certain things. today he said "there is so much i want to talk about but i cant" on my part as being his girlfriend i feel bad that i cant comfort him at certain point! he deserve all of my love and care! all. of. it and i feel so bad that i cant be there for him in these times. he is strong i know and he works hard a lot. im so proud of him but i just cant forgive myself for not being there for him in these times. it literally makes me wonder if hes doing okay or not after such eps but i dont want to remind me about his misery when he himself is trying not to remember them. i really just want to hug him in these times but it just cant happened and it breaks me completely thinking about all this. its just so shattering to me that i cant help him and just talk to him through a screen. i really just wanna hold him and caress his cheeks and tell him how such a good of a job he is doing so far and that how proud i am of him. but this distance wont let me do that. long distance really sucks.

I’m not really used to venting, but i don’t know what to do. I feel like i’m slowly drifting away from my friends both irl and online. Every time i sit with my friends at lunch in school i feel like im just sat there while they all laugh and have fun. Not to mention, i can never tell whether what they say is serious, passive aggressive or a joke. It’s even worse online because i can’t see their faces or hear their tone of voice. I don’t know what to do about it anymore- i just feel really rubbish about the whole thing. I’m too scared to ask about it though. It’s probably just a me problem but it sucks.

I want help from people who failed in teenage love because the girl cheated on them. What should I do to fix my mind, how can I become better for the next girl? Also please help me with some videos of youtube for self help! I don't feel myself anymore because not just she cheated on me because took my friends away by lying.

Do you ever get that feeling when your just laughing with your friends but then you suddenly remember that there's a never ending void in your body that can never be filled of happiness or any emotion in general since ever since you were born you were taught that showing literally any emotion except happiness is wrong that till this day you still think about it and still believe that the sadness and anger you feel sometimes is just a bother?

*i just want to note that i didn't say hate, this sister of mine would always say she hated me and my parents so i avoid using the word as it can be kinda triggering*

I feel like a bad person because i dont like my sister (A). A is 2 years younger than me and has a twin sister (B).

A has always caused many issues in my life. When we were younger she would hit me and B, and sometimes even my parents. It got better for a while but just over a year ago it got bad again. She would get mad at me, B, and my parents for the tiniest things. There have been several instances where she was throwing a fit in the car while my mom was driving and she GRABBED THE STEERING WHEEL, thankfully we never got in a car crash.

A has been very sensitive from a young age, and when she get angry she normally goes through a few phases.

1. Yell at the person who made her mad (this usual goes on for a good 10 minutes)

2. My mom threatens to take away something from A (usually her phone)

3. A pleas with my mom to give her back said item (she will scream "please i'll do anything" for 5 straight minutes and when my mom finally tells her what she can do to make it up she will scream "ill do anything else" 😒)

4. A storms off to her room

5. A lays down on the ground in her bedroom and screams bloody murder while kicking her bedroom door.

6. A gets hurt from kicking the door

7. A screams for my dad to come and help her because she is "hurt"

8. My dad ignores her for a good 5 minutes until the screaming gets too annoying

9. My dad goes to As bedroom and tries to open the door (she locked herself in her room)

10. My dad opens the door with a butter knife and proceeds to have a conversation with A

A also has a lesser maturity than me and B so it tends to be more difficult to hang out. Because of all this anxiety and stress caused by A it isn't uncommon for me and B to huddle in my bedroom with a bunch of snacks and vent to each other about A. Me and B also do other things when we hang out but that is what brought us closer together (B also used to hit me, but she's chill now).

A has continually reminded us to tell her if me and B are hanging out.

(I want to mention that me and B hang out with A a lot, so it's not like we are icing her out of anything)

But if me and B have a secret convo in my bedroom without A and she finds out suddenly she is screaming at us about how she hates us and doesn't even want to hang out with us. This also makes it particularly unappealing to hang out with A.

A is a loner, she has friends but she rarely hangs out with any of them outside of school. A is also very fond of "chilling". A's definition of chilling is not letting me or B invite friends over, no chores or cleaning up her room, and no family plans. This weekend i had previously planned to have a sleepover with a friend at my house but because A wanted a "chill" weekend, i had to cancel. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but this has happened before and i feel that it is taking a time on some of my friendships.

Recently i have been feeling really bad about my feelings toward A. I keep imagining her alone in her room, sad, because she can hear my and B laughing in my room. I'm literally crying thinking about it rn. It's just so hard to look past all the hardships she's out me and my family through.

Thanks for reading this, there is prob a couple spelling errors but you'll get over it. If you could give me some suggestions to improve my relationship with A that would be amazing.

Hope you have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night💕

I’m a 32 year old woman. Divorced and no child. Aged parents. 6 years ago I took over the provider role. With no generational wealth or support from anyone. Sis lives abroad prioritises her life. Burnt out at work. Anxious and stressed most of the time. Health issues.. Cannot quit job due to the responsibilities. Craving to be taken care.. my feminine energy is dead and this is affecting my current relationship with my partner who is not financially stable. I feel like I hv to be man in the relationship. I don’t know how I got here n don’t know what to do.

Struggling with family basically...

I hate being an elder daughter who's supposed to be the 'perfect' child.

I need to get the best grades, but it's tiring and exhausting now.

Nobody really tries to understand MY point of view.

My mother is too stubborn and strict. She gets mad and disappointed if I don't get the perfect marks. She pretends to be caring, but indirectly shows her disappointment in me. Worst of all, I can't vent to my friends because I don't want to burden them when they're dealing with their own problems.

Also, I need to be that role model for my younger sibling. I can't afford any mistakes.

I'm the child that my parents don't love. My younger sibling is the favorite. I love my little sibling, but I want the same love too. I just want my parents to be proud of me, for once. To tell me that my efforts are enough.

wherever I try to make friends online, they ALWAYS want +18 photos!! I'm not fun or interesting enough for people my age and older people just want to manipulate me, wth

I replied virgin death. What your opinion on my answer?

My journey all started when I got knee surgery for my meniscus tear. In this story my empire was destroyed only to be rebuilt with unstable ruble.

I was an active person before my injury working out 14 hours a week and eating a well balanced diet, I got at least 8 or more hours of sleep each night. I also had all A’s in my classes and a wonderful group of friends. Overall my life was stable and perfect in all aspects. When I tore my meniscus and got the surgery I was still resilient and hopeful for a couple months after. I went to physical therapy every week and was progressing more than the average person would. It wasn’t until March that the downers of life started catching up to me. I was starting to get burnt out from school since I had to make up for the weeks I was recovering. I also felt more depressed. At the end of the school year things really lightened up. I got on an antidepressant called sertraline, However I never took the medication because I had the idea that it would mess with me. Day after day I skipped my medication and it finally became summer break. And not even a week into summer break I just broke down. Apparently my mind was on its last stilt and just fell and all the stress came crashing down with it. I started having symptoms like mood swings and suicidal thoughts. So my psychiatrist put me on abilify to stabilize my mood because it switched often. My mood swings were from crying to feeling like I was the coolest person on the planet, this would happen a couple times a day. I soon had my first visit to a mental hospitable due to suicidal actions. Once I finished my stay my psychiatrist took me off sertraline and put me on cymbalta. I actually took cymbalta, however another symptom showed up and I started to have extreme anxiety at the start of July. Everything seemed like they were trying to keep me in this dream called life and the only way I could end it was by killing myself. I also started to take substances like nutmeg and LSA. I felt really unstable in life. I then started a php program that was short lived before going to the mental hospital for my second stay. At the mental hospital I started prazosin and trazodone. I was also diagnosed with derealization and depersonalization By August things started to get better but I started to notice I couldn’t control my actions and impulses as well anymore, I didn’t feel like I was my usual stable self anymore. In an attempt to get a thrill and escape I took a plant called Datura on five different occasions. The drug put me into a place of delirium that felt confusing yet safe. Soon my parents found out and stopped me from taking it again. I was still struggling till the middle of September. I took 62 pills of benadryl to get the same delirium I had on Datura. I continued taking benadryl till my parents noticed my pupils dilated. Then the next day they sent me to the mental hospital again. When I got out I continued life, still struggling. I also seemed to gain 90 pounds in three months. My psychiatrist was at the point where they were about to diagnose me with Borderline personality disorder. However me and my family decided to send me to a residential school in California before anything could happen and take off the school semester. At the residential we found out that I had Hypothyroidism and was put on lamictal and thyroxine. After staying at the residence for 2 months I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. When I got home I was put into a php where at some point I ended up eating a benadryl ointment cream as a last resort to get that delirium. The next day it was found out cause I was acting weird. Thankfully they didn’t send me to the mental hospital. I soon finished php and moved on to Iop. This was the time school started. In the first week of school I decided to drink 300mg of caffeine a night to see what happens and then decided to not sleep for three days due to nightmares. At this point I was starting to go into a psychosis believing I was meant to be schizophrenic in my next life so I should kill myself. The world also started to glitch and I felt Euphoric as hell. However, I decided to sleep on Thursday to Saturday and then decided to try staying up for 5 days on Sunday. I am now finishing night two while writing this. All being said, I truly hate myself right now. My feelings for myself switch from feeling like I am superior to everyone to feeling like I am unlovable and I hate myself. I honestly hate my personality so much to the point I want to actually commit suicide. I don’t know if this is a personality disorder or if I am just actually stupid or crazy. I used to have this stable personality but now my personality is reckless and moody. If anybody relates to this please tell me because I don’t want to be alone in this. (I'm not necessarily looking for a diagnosis I am just looking for others experience similar to mine)