Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 36

People, family, friends even strangers always tell me to open up to people about my struggles. I used to oblige to it, but i always, ALWAYS feel so guilty after.

How? Well, if i vent to someone that has “worser” experiences than me (literally EVERYONE), I’ll end up feeling guilty. It’s like i’m just adding up to their problems because of them knowing i have such issues.

Im not good at comforting others either, maybe because i got so used to distracting my self or just using other means. Every time someone vents to me, i just use silliness to comfort them. Using jokes, a combination of emojis and just slang words.

It’s kind of pathetic of me to even use an anonymous website to vent all this out, i feel kinda bad for sharing, it feels weird.

Its kind of hard to explain by words, since as i said i gotten so used to just bottling my struggles up to not be a bother. But i tried my best to describe it here.

[IMPORTANT NOTE: I AM TRANSGENDER]

ok so basically, I'm going to high school next year. my 2 closest friends aren't coming with me, and they've really been the only ones defending me when someone was dead naming or misgendering me. and I'm just really scared that next year I wont be Bowie to anyone. I'll never be seen for who I am.

ok so if your that one guy who knows me irl YOU BETTER NOT FREAKING TELL ANYONE IF YOU SEE THIS I WILL SLAP YOU well not really but if tell anyone I swear-

so I like someone (we'll call her Imogen)

my feelings for her have been on/off since like sixth grade but at the beginning of this year, our 8th grade year, they came back and stayed.

for a while I ignored them, because in 7th she got a girlfriend (Jaron) (YES I AM USING NAMES FROM A BOOK SERIES-)

but then my feelings got a bit stronger but I continued to ignore them

but then she and Jaron started dating Amarinda (it's polyamorous) and it stung when I found out and I couldn't explain why.

but now it's gotten so much worse because Imogen and Amarinda look so happy together and it makes my heart ache for two reasons, because I like Imogen and because I'm lonely.

but i know imogen will never feel the same about me and it's tearing me up inside even though I know it's true.

and all this hurts for another reason: because I have a strong suspicion that my best friend, Trea, has a crush on me, and today basically confirmed it even though she hasn't said it.

Honestly though, Imogen probably has already guessed that I like her since I've liked her on/off since I met her, but if she doesn't know then idk what to do.

There's literally nobody I can talk to about this, not Trea definitely, not our other friend Mott, and not my friend (who's on this site) Roden. I can't tell Trea because, well, if she likes me I don't want to hurt her. I can't tell Mott because I can't trust that he won't tell Amarinda or Jaron (idrc if Imogen knows, she has a right to know how I feel). and I can't tell Roden because I just feel like he wouldn't understand.

I really just don't know what to do. Do I tell Imogen how I feel, and just deal with the inevitable disappointment that comes with unrequited love, or do I suffer in silence and just assume she's already guessed it? or could I trust Mott or Roden to let her know how I feel?

And Roden, you're on this site, so if you read this, don't tell ANYONE unless I tell you you can, ok? please.

just wanted to put it out there, we don't realise just how valuable and golden our parents are. as much as they can get annoying at times and god forbid, you wish they weren't there, it's about time we all open our eyes to the fact that they are humans deserving the most love there could ever be in this world.

my parents have gone beyond their abilities to make sure I have what I want, need, and what they wish for me to have. it's so annoying when they sacrifice their desires, their wants and use those means to fulfill what I want or need. the little things that they do, the things that passed my attention like a breeze, I'm starting to notice them more. I'm starting to appreciate them more, cherish all those little things.

I have grown up and somehow got myself to kinda not declare these kinds of deep emotions. I could be crying in my room for how sweet they are, and yet I won't be able to give them a glimpse of my gratitude. and no, this part of me will not change. I have not expressed," I love you" verbally, and that's why I use letters and pourrrr out every emotion, every sorry and thank you, every I love you on things like their birthday cards etc.

my point is. everyday I see them head out to work and stick themselves into the same depressing routine without any complaints, and I think to myself, oh god, please bless my parents. how do they do this every day, hustling their way with optimism as they show me. I want to do something for them too. I feel guilty that I haven't shown them how much I care for them, love them thriught actions or words. I don't help around much in the house ( they also don't allow me to) , I hardly hug them, or tell them I love them and I appreciate them. and honestly that's a family thing-not expressing these stuffs. so can you give me other solutions that don't involve these cliche "oh just start hugging them cuz you'll regret". firstly, I am aware and that's why I want to change smth, but I can't find the words to express what exactly I want.

anyways, treasure your parents and help out here please!

My girlfriend is moving in soon, and I have come to the conclusion I need to end things before that happens. She routinely snaps at me over minor annoyances and I'm expected to apologize afterwards. On the rare occasion I have been snappy towards her, I also end up apologizing. I do not intentionally push and pull b

ok so I think my sleeping problems might be getting worse

I've always, and I mean ALWAYS had trouble falling asleep at night.

But now, that problem has multiplied tenfold, and now I'm finding it hard to stay asleep if I manage to fall asleep, and then once I'm up, I'm up, there's no hope of going back to sleep.

Normally I'd ignore it and think it was normal, because trouble with sleep just is for me.

But it used to be that I'd go to bed at, like, 8:30 PM (EST) and fall asleep at like half past 10 PM (EST), but now it's I go to bed at 8:30, fall asleep at, like 1:00, wake back up at like 2:30 and am awake for the rest of the night.

Literally I can hardly focus as I'm typing this, autocorrect has been my best friend lol

but Im worried how it'll affect me in school, because I've never lost this much sleep over the span of three days.

its also affecting me getting to school in the morning, I've been more at risk of missing the bus lately because I just cant get out of bed. I try with my outfits in the morning, even when I'm tired, but tody I'm so freaking tired my outfit it a hoodie and leggings, and the leggings have a hole in the leg.

and on top of all this, I didn't see my best friend this morning and now i'm worried.

It’s the weirdest thing, waking up from a dream that felt more vivid than real life. Like, for a few seconds, you don’t even know where you are. Your brain’s stuck in that space between dream and reality, and everything around you just feels… off. That happened to me last night, actually. I had this dream that I was back in my old house, the one we lived in when I was little. The walls were the same faded green, the stairs still creaked on the third step, and my childhood dog, Max—who passed away years ago—was there, wagging his tail like he never left. I could smell the popcorn my mom used to make on Sundays, feel the soft carpet under my feet. Everything was so clear. And when I woke up, I felt this ache in my chest. Like I'd just been yanked out of a better version of reality, one where things made sense, where the past still existed in full color.

And it’s not just the places. Sometimes, it’s the people. You see someone you haven’t thought about in years—an old friend, a grandparent who passed, or even someone you’ve never met—and they talk to you like you’ve known each other forever. They touch your hand, look into your eyes, laugh with you. And in that moment, it feels real. Not just visually, but emotionally. It’s like your brain recreates every tiny detail, every feeling, every piece of memory, and weaves it into this beautiful (or sometimes terrifying) story while you're asleep. I’ve had dreams that were better than reality, dreams that gave me closure, and dreams that left me shaken for the rest of the day. How does the mind do that? How does it trick us into feeling something so strong that it lingers hours—even days—after we wake up?

I’ve read somewhere that dreams are just the brain’s way of processing things, like emotions we haven’t dealt with or thoughts we’re trying to push away. That kinda makes sense. I’ve had dreams about people I haven’t talked to in ages, and the next day, I’m thinking about them non-stop. Or I’ll have a super emotional dream, and when I wake up, I’ll actually be mad or sad about what happened, even tho it didn’t actually happen. One time, I dreamt my best friend betrayed me and I couldn’t even look her in the eye the next day. Of course I got over it (lol), but still, for a while I had to remind myself, “Hey, that wasn’t real.” And that’s what’s so crazy about dreams—they can influence your mood, your thoughts, sometimes even your decisions. Like your mind’s still stuck in that made-up world and hasn’t caught up with reality yet.

I guess part of why dreams feel so real is cuz when we’re dreaming, we’re not questioning anything. Our brains just go with it. You could be flying, or talking to a giant talking cat, or seeing someone who passed away, and none of it seems weird in the moment. You’re just there, experiencing it like it’s normal. It’s only when you wake up that you’re like, “Wait, what?” But when you’re in it, it’s your world. Your brain fills in all the blanks—how things smell, how people sound, how you feel—and you believe it. It’s wild how powerful the mind can be. I still don’t fully understand it, and I probably never will. But I do know this—sometimes, those dreams, the ones that feel so painfully real, can remind us of what we miss, what we love, what we’re afraid of, and even who we want to be. And maybe that’s why they stick with us. Maybe that’s why they feel so real. Because somewhere, deep down, a part of us wants them to be.

hi I'm fox(19 female)

so about 1 years ago I joined a youth group for lgbt teenagers, there I got re-acquainted with a friend (firefly 21 male) I met 5-year prior. a couple weeks later he some of his friend(butterfly 21 female) & ( Hound Dog 21 male) joined the youth group . I'd seen both of his friends before but had never really talked to them , anyway we all became a friend group. that summer I got particular close to butterfly and I realise I really liked her and I wasn't sure if she felt the same way until, firefly told me he absolutely believed butterfly had a crush on me as well. so we went on flitting for at least 9 months. one day I was planning to meet up with her and talk her how I feel, so a week before I sent her a message as her if she was free to meet up, she didn't answer me for 2 months , of course after 1 week I asked the others if they had heard anything. Hound dog, said he hadn't heard anything, but firefly said that butterfly was just going through somethings and didn't really want to talk ( of course this hurt me a bit but anyway). over the next 3 months firefly keep reassuring me that it had not to do with me. in the 3rd month firefly eventually, told me and butterfly that we need to talk about because it was "effecting his mental health " ( side note I understand that this was a complete normal response if I had been as him question but he was the one who would ask me if butterfly had text me back. )

so butterfly and do have a conversation about it. from the conversation I understood why she didn't text me back. I had still have feelings for her and firefly knew this. so one day he said I don't think she ready for a relationship. which made sense until, not even a full month later he released he had feelings for butterfly. and they got into a relationship.

so I bit my tongue and pretend it didn't bother me.

now you maybe wondering what did Hound dog think about this hole situation. he completely agree and supported me. (side note: Hound Dog and firefly are no longer friend, has for me and firefly, well that complicated, you see firefly is the type of person who you feel like he'll get himself killed at any moment so I still want to keep an eye on him. ) so now comes the reason why I'm writing this,

2 day ago butterfly opened up to me about how she didn't feel good about the relationship and that she felt really low in energy when she around him.

for any you want to know yes I still have feelings for her but I'm suppressing them

So my question is what do I do?

if you have any questions please ask and I'll try to answer them in an update or in the comments.

I’m not entirely sure what to put to be honest, I’ve tried multiple venting websites and there’s not much to say but here goes nothing.

last night at around half eight pm my cat, Bendy, passed away.

the whole night I stayed up crying to the point where I haven’t got enough sleep, I went to school today and I was so tired I didn’t even know what my own name was.

i haven’t got anyone in my life to speak to about this and I seriously don’t know what to do.

it’s even got to the point where I’ll burst out crying at anything cat related, literally before posting this I was crying looking at old pictures of him.

I don’t expect this to get much attention but meh.

so I'm a young animator in middle school currently trying to balance my new object show, school, and my various disabilities that make it difficult to even live properly. I love my show, it brings me joy, but I'm wondering if I'm fixating too much on it. my grades are fucked, im getting in trouble more, and the hiring process is certainly not helping.

how do I stop my mind from constantly replaying the same incident, situation, experience or thoughts over and over again. it's like never ending. whether its a good thing or bad thing, it doesn't seem to leave my mind, especially not on the same day of occurrence. and it's getting annoying cuz if there was something I found embarrassing, I would think about it, feel all embarrassed and crappy, somehow manage to forget or chuck it to the back of my head, and then boom it hits me back again with goosebumps and depending on the situation, a rapid heartbeat.

when will my mind be settled and at ease/peace?

I mean it's not only negative thoughts as I've said before, it could be something funny or something that I'm proud of too, like ohh I finally spoke up to so and so. it's just that how can I possibly think about the same thing (with all the details and visuals) like 50 times in one day.

I also don't get over things very fast. If I'm annoyed with someone, shocked about something I found out, it's never a one time thing to think about, experience and forget it to never revisit it, or at least to revisit it briefly after some time.

there's more I want to say but I can't remember lol

help!

i don’t even know where to begin honestly. like i get that siblings are supposed to be annoying sometimes, but my sister? she takes it to a whole other level. every single day it’s like she wakes up with one mission: make my life miserable. she’s two years younger than me, but she acts like she owns the house. always barging into my room, touching my stuff without askin, and then playing the victim when i get mad. like no, Mia, you don’t get to wear my hoodie, spill soda on it, and then cry when i yell about it. she drives me crazy and somehow she’s always the one who gets away with it too. mom and dad are just like “she’s younger, be patient.” bro, i have been patient and i’m done now.

and it’s not just the little stuff either. she has this way of making everything a competition. like if i get a good grade, she suddenly needs to remind everyone that she got an A on her science project. if i make a joke at dinner and people laugh, she has to jump in and make one louder. it’s like she can’t stand me getting even five seconds of attention. nd when we fight (which is every day), she somehow twists it around to make it look like it’s my fault. i’ll be calmly explaining why she needs to stay out of my room and she’ll start yelling or crying and boom—i’m the “bad guy” again. i swear she has a talent for pushing every button i have.

i try to ignore her sometimes, like just put in my headphones and chill in my room. but even then she’ll find a way to be loud, play music from her phone in the hallway, or “accidentally” knock on my door five times for no reason. like girl, what do you even want?? she asks me dumb questions she could’ve just googled, or she’ll randomly start asking me who i’m texting just to annoy me. sometimes she literally sits outside my door and sings horrible on purpose. and then she laughs when i open the door mad. she lives for that reaction. it’s like she feeds off my frustration and it’s driving me up the wall.

but then, and this is the worst part, there are moments where she’s actually nice. like randomly she’ll bring me a snack or say something funny that actually makes me laugh. and for two seconds i’m like “ok maybe she’s not the worst.” but then she goes right back to being a menace. i don’t get how one person can flip personalities that fast. i try to be a good brother (sometimes), like i help her with homework when she asks and i walk her home from school when she misses the bus. but it’s like none of that matters because as soon as she’s bored again, i’m back to being her favorite target.

and you know what makes it even harder? my parents. they always say “you’re the older one, set the example.” like okay but why do i have to be the mature one all the time?? why can’t she be held accountable too? just because she’s younger doesn’t mean she gets a free pass to be annoying 24/7. sometimes i feel like they don’t even listen to my side of the story. they just assume i’m the one overreacting. nd i get it, she’s their baby or whatever, but it’s still not fair. she knows she can get away with anything if she cries or acts innocent, and she uses that. trust me.

i guess at the end of the day, i still care about her. like if someone messed with her at school, i’d probably defend her without even thinking. but when we’re at home? she’s my number one headache. maybe when we’re older we’ll get along better, but right now? she’s annoying, loud, nosy, and always in my business. and if she reads this—Mia, stop taking my hoodies and get out of my room. please. thanks.

I’m starting to feel pretty uncomfortable with how close my girlfriend is getting with this guy I just get the weirdest feeling about and it’s making me feel so damn jealous.

i used to think happiness was like… some reward u get after everything in ur life goes right. like u graduate, u get a good job, everyone loves u, and then bam happiness shows up like “congrats, u made it.” but that’s not how it works, not really. i learned that the hard way. last year was probly the worst year of my life. my parents were fighting nonstop, i failed two classes, and my best friend stopped talkin to me outta nowhere. it felt like everything was crashing down at once, and there was nothin i could do but watch it all fall apart. i cried so much. like real sobbing until my chest hurt. there were days i didn’t wanna get outta bed, where i felt like nobody would notice if i just disappeared.

but then weirdly, in the middle of all that mess, little things started hittin different. like one time i was sittin outside by myself feelin like crap, and this cat just walked up to me and sat on my lap like it knew i needed somethin soft and warm. i know that sounds dumb but i swear that moment made me feel a tiny bit okay. then a week later my younger brother made me a sandwich “just cuz you looked sad” and didn’t even ask for anything in return. and i dunno, stuff like that kept happenin. not big, movie-type moments or whatever, just small stuff. but when ur in a dark place, even a lil light can feel huge. and i started to realize maybe happiness isn’t this big magical thing u wait for, maybe it’s hidden in the cracks, in the quiet moments we usually ignore.

it didn’t fix everything, obviously. my parents still argue sometimes, i still stress about school, and i still don’t really know what i’m doin with my life. but now when things go wrong, i don’t feel like it’s the end anymore. i try to look for those tiny pieces of good, the ones that used to feel invisible to me. like when my friend texted me a meme after we hadn’t talked in months, or when a teacher said they liked my essay even though i thought it sucked. stuff like that used to slide right past me, but now i hold onto it. i collect it like proof that even in the middle of all the dark, happiness can still show up. it’s not always loud, but it’s there if you look for it.

so yeah, if you’re goin through it right now, if it feels like everything is fallin apart and ur stuck in this fog that won’t lift—i get it. i really do. but please just keep goin. even if all u do today is shower or eat somethin or smile once, that’s enough. you’re still movin forward. and eventually, the dark won’t feel so heavy. eventually, the lil things will start to glow again. and one day, maybe when u least expect it, happiness will find its way back to you—not because everything’s perfect, but because you kept going anyway. and that’s real strength. that’s real light.

(Names are fake for privacy even though I don't think either one of them is on here) So for context I grew up with this friend named Blake and he got with his now ex named Miranda at the time about a year and a half after we became friends. They were young and had a kid young but it didn't last because of how both of them were with each other, typical story of him not doing enough for both the relationship and as a father (He is a great father now) and her treating him bad because of it to where she got fed up with him and tired of being that person with him and left him. They both moved on almost 15 years ago and can't stand each other but get along for their kid, We all grew up together as a result so I know Miranda pretty well.

It started as a crush after they broke up, I was having a hard time and she was there for me when I needed it but she didn't know I was struggling that badly because I didn't talk about it so it was just genuine concern and help for me and I don't have a lot of that in my life, so it moved me. I'm not the kind of guy who acts on his emotions or goes after friends girls so I avoided her because of it afterwards. She found a few people over the years and I found someone also. I was with my ex-wife for over 10 years and after we broke up I ran across Miranda on a dating website. We both matched with each other but I just assumed it was to be funny since friends do that on dating websites to mess with each other and give each other shit and I never seriously thought she was interested. After we matched though I noticed I got excited and didn't know what to expect which confused me because I didn't know why I was excited and why I would expect anything when we're supposed to be friends and it had been years since that crush had happened and nothing came from it anyway but I realized I still had a crush.

We talked and I didn't make a move or a pass and just warned her what to expect being on these sites from what I've read from other woman on there. Dick pics, asshole guys, matching but not talking etc. it was a casual conversation but I couldn't help but wonder if she felt similar and that's why she matched too but just chalked it up to my brain just wanting that to be true so it would validate my feelings and said nothing. She didn't stay on there much longer and told me later the next day on the app that she was going to get off of the app because it was lame and what I was saying was true.

I kept my feelings to myself but it seems like they keep growing, I keep thinking about her even when I try not too or keep busy to not think anything at all but nothing seems to work and she is on my mind even though we haven't talked for in a long time. Miranda is currently with someone right now and has been for awhile but from what I've heard she's been drinking and depressed and isn't happy with him. Idk if they will last much longer but I'm stuck because I can't really tell her how I feel even if they break up or not.

I don't really think she feels the same and might find it weird especially if she only sees me as a friend, it could ruin things with her and also she's Blake's ex and I have no idea how he would feel about it and don't want to ruin a friendship of almost 20 years over this. I know him and while he would probably be cool to me or cool to me to my face, I know he wouldn't consider me like a brother anymore or close friend anymore either. If for some reason or way I did tell her and the feeling is reciprocated and I do end up ruining a friendship, what if her and I don't end up lasting.?? Then I ruined my friendship for nothing and end up alone with almost no one in both ways.

So this is my blessing and my curse, Im blessed because I see who she is and she's amazing and I'm glad I got to experience it but my curse is I don't think I can ever actually speak on how I feel to her without potentially fucking everything up either with her or Blake or both. I haven't told anyone except 1 person awhile ago but we don't talk anymore, so almost no one knows my real feelings for her. Instead I sit in silence while she gets with yet another guy who treats her like shit that she swears she loves. If I tell her to leave him then I look like I have alternate motives considering my feelings, especially if I did tell her eventually and it's not my relationship to meddle with to begin with when they could end up working it all out.

It's been driving me nuts and I had to say something to someone and get it off my chest, so I figured a place like this would be the best place to at least say something finally, even if it's not who I want to tell.