Couple Stories

We had been seeing each other for a year, and everything felt like we were a couple. He told me he loved me, and I felt the same. We spent every weekend together and even planned our first trip.

Last weekend, he was in bed, and I made him pancakes because his birthday was on Tuesday. He was thrilled and joked that I was spoiling him. I said I wanted to spoil my man. He responded, "I’m not your man," with a smile on his face. I thought he was kidding and replied, "Yeah, I know you’re not my man." But then he got serious and said, "No, really, I’m not your boyfriend." I felt sick but tried to stay calm. I asked what we were, and he said, "I don’t know. Really great friends with benefits?" I didn’t say anything, and he ate his pancakes in silence. Later, he asked if we were doing anything, and I said I was planning to clean and do paperwork. He left after an hour. I ran to the bathroom, threw up, and cried for two hours. I couldn’t keep anything down the rest of the day. He texted that evening, thanking me for breakfast in bed and saying I was “amazing,” but I didn’t reply, so he called a few times. I didn’t answer. Around 10 PM, he showed up at my door. I pretended to be sick with the flu and was going to bed. He offered to stay the night, but I said no.

I ignored him on Sunday and Monday and didn’t wish him a happy birthday on Tuesday. I kept my texts short, pretending to be sick. He never brought up what he said. Yesterday, he wrote that he missed me and hadn’t gone this long without talking to me since we met and that he was going mad. He asked if we could have dinner. I said I was very busy. He asked if I missed him, and I said I was tired because I was out all night with a guy and wanted to relax alone. He stopped replying. He showed up 15 minutes later, asking if I was lying. I wasn’t. I told him we weren’t a couple, so I was free to do whatever. He said I broke his heart and cheated on him and called me an asshole. I waited for him to leave before crying again.

He’s right; we never had the “talk.” I just assumed we were together because I loved him and thought he felt the same. But if we aren’t together, why was he upset that I slept with someone else? Was I the asshole? Was it cheating?

Imagine if this played out on a reality show. How would people react? Would they think he’s the bad guy for leading me on, or would they see me as the one in the wrong? How do you think the audience would respond?

My girlfriend grew up in a deeply religious family, but around two years ago, she began having doubts. It's not that she despises the religion; she just felt it wasn’t right for her. We met a year and a half ago, and have been together for a year now. When we first met, she was still unsure, but about five months ago, she confirmed she was agnostic. She hadn’t told her parents because she wanted to be absolutely certain.

Earlier this week, we were out and bumped into her mom. She approached us and started a conversation, asking who I was since we hadn’t met before. My girlfriend hesitated, so I stepped in and introduced myself as her boyfriend and mentioned that she was no longer following their religion. Both my girlfriend and her mom were taken aback. My girlfriend asked why I revealed that information. I told her that since she had decided long ago that she wasn’t Muslim anymore and we’d been together for so long, there was no need to keep it a secret any longer.

My girlfriend and her mom walked away to talk. Her mom was shocked but said she’d come to terms with it and was just glad that my girlfriend was happy. I thought it all went well.

However, later my girlfriend messaged me saying I overstepped and it wasn’t my place to share that information. She planned to tell her parents in private when she felt ready. I argued that things turned out okay. She called me an asshole and said I betrayed her trust. Her siblings and friends, who already knew, also messaged me, accusing me of not knowing when to keep quiet.

So, even though things seemed to turn out fine... Did I mess up?

I sometimes wonder how people would react if this happened on a reality show. Would they see me as the villain for speaking up or think it was justifiable given the situation? The drama would definitely be intense.