Family Drama Stories - page 4

Last night, we had a family reunion and I was already kind of in a bad mood since my had taken a nap bc of a hang over she still have from last night (she's a bit of an alchoholic) and overslept which caused us to be late to the dinner. once we reached the place we sat down and she started getting a little drunk agaiin thanks to the alchohol served, she started saying things (as she does when she's drunk) about me; like this waiter who looked a little older than me an make a living while i'm over here always cooped up in my room all the time(huh i wonder why); she also made some unnecessary comments about my dress (i asked her for help prior to the diner but she told me she didn't know and waved me off), i get that this was drunk talk and i shouldn't take it seriously but when it comes from someone who conributed in creating you it kinda hurts a little y'know? and then she started comparing to my cousins(average parent protocol atp)

and then it was time for a family group photo. I don't like to take photos that often so i tend to just scoot to the very edge of the group, and unfortunatley i was next ot her. She grabbed my waist which kinda scared me and i shved her away and then she started pulling me harder andlike digging her nails and screaming at me and i just got really stressed out. she would usually like swing an arm around me and all duirng group ohotos but never grab me which was whwy i kinda reacted that way. I know that i should'nt have acted out (especially in public like that) but i ws just really stressed at the time.

and after that she wasn't done with me yet and continuedscreaming at me saying that "i'm you're mother i should be allowed to touch you" and i told her that she grabbed me and it hurt a lot and she kept on denying that (keep in mind she's still drunk) and then this continues (by then i havd already put my earphones in so i could't here much of her slander) and even after the reunion she's still fighting with me. she gets up all ino my face which pissed me off (by thenim tired and just want he to shut up becasue she's etremely drunk by now).

and she's still fighting with me untilwe get into the car, my dad leaves us for us to settle down while he go finds the other family members to help them find their car and she starts hitting me, and my little brother is caught in between and i just wanted to pull him outta there because he was clearly stressed from the noise and trying to settle it down and my mom was grabbing him and isolating him from me it really hurt. she slapped me and made me hit my head a lot but at that point i was kinda numb for physical pain. i gave my little brother my earphones so he would have something to at least dronw out the noise.

and the things that when we were fighting i would say smt like "why do you hit me so much?" and she would say "you hate me! you don't love me!", and when i was rrying to explain she was making me uncomfortable whenn she grabbed me and i dont know what kinda mental gymnastics did she have to do to get from that to "i'm a danger to you!" "cal the police and arrest me!" "I'm a horrible mother!" "you're not a part of this family if i'm dangerous to you!"

i apologised for acting out in public when i probably shoulve' just sucked it up as she said and what not since everytime we take a rgoup photo she slings her arm around me (thats probably th eonly time we touchaso yeah that probably just gave me a headachre worse than when she shoved me into the car window. the way she grabbed my brother probably hurt the most tbh, i vowed to myself that i'd protect him and keep him safe from my parents but i just made things os much worse for him. and even after when my dad came bac did she stop saying anything, but once we got back she only continued. she strated hitting me more and screaming and repeating everything and she tore down the rack filled of things i genuinely care about. by then my dad came up and told her to stop and brought her away. i huddled up in the corner i think and started idk, becoming two people, i needed to clean up the mess she made but i also just wanted to sit there and rest, but i cleaned anyways while my parents fought outside. i heard something along the lines of "just go to sleep" (it was 2am) and that was it for then. after i finished cleaning my mom came back and started to scream at me again and getting me up agaiinst the wall and blocking my way when i was trying to do things, she pulled the "im a terrible mother" card and shoved her phone in my face trying ot get me to cal the police, it made me sick tbh, i apolohised again for the same thing just in case she forgot but also asked for my own since she kinda did hit me and onvade my personal space but she just huffed and she went back to her room (this actually made her look kinda like a kid which was a little unsettling per say)

and in the next 15 minutes she came back again to contonue screaming. she kept on grabbing and clawwing at my shoulder and wasit and generally just taunting me to "call the police" as she kept on saying. it honesty just gavenme the headache.

i know that during all that i was being as calm as i could possibly, letting her scream at me and what not. i was prettys sure she was drunk so i started making light of the sitautions like singing random meme audious or just making my own jokes to myself like if she was sticking her finger into my face i would go "wait, they dont loveme like i love you" (keep in mind it was 3am at that point and i cant say i was thinking straight either)

and eventually it got so bad because she wouldn't let me walk or have my own personal spcae (that i really like) that i went down, with my laptop to study for a test i have where my dad was watching tv thinking my mom wqas asleep. he asked me why i was still awake and coming down and at that point i just kinda broke down, and he went up and told her to stop repeated and harrasing me and all that. i couldn't sleep but i didn't feel like thinking at all, i just wanted to lay on the floor and breathe. my parents were fighting till maybe 4? im not toos ure sincei put on my headphones so silence it out. so yeah thats pretty much it but theres a few things that i wanna say about this:

- wheneve i tried to say something she would interrupt or she wouldn't take a single thing i said to consideration and pull out her own version of what i said and reply to that instead (probably bc of the alchohol)

- she would follow me around and grab me and taunt me and putting her face/finger/phone in my face which i think has just given me major claustrophobia

- she pulled the "i fought with your dad for you to go to a good school" card a lot but whenever it was just me or my dad, he woul always make sure i had the things i needed for school and always wanted to know i was happy or not, she's been pulling this card since i was idk, 5? and now that i think about it, someone who was againts giivng me a good education wouldn't want to further contribute to that no? she also said that she had to fight for me to have my own room which was also weird, idk who to trust anymore because it's not llike i can jyst ask my dad. but if she's lying then i think that she probabl had some delirious dream that was so vivid she belived it was true or maybe my dad actually didn't want me to have a good education but that would be really weird, but then again maybe he still doesn't believe in it but has no choice since he's already given in.

someone please tell me if this is normal and that i'm just being dramatic and that my teenager hormones are acting up

Hi, I'm not sure if this is really family drama but I feel it's similar. I'm a 34 year old female. I'm currently in a deep depression that I am having difficulty getting out of. This all started about maybe 4 years ago. I got the news that my oldest brother who is 11 years older than me had stage 4 terminal cancer. I was in complete shock, my brother is more like my mother and father in one. We lost my mother a year before his diagnosis and we have another brother who is 2 years older than me. My oldest brother, Chris, has always been there for me(financially, emotionally and all around). He became my person well before my mom passed but was the person I talked to every day a little before she passed. Chris has been there for me through thick and thin and has even helped me take care of my daughter more than anyone else in my life. I trust that man with my life and my daughters life. I knew he was told he wouldn't make it but I prayed so hard that he would. I couldn't imagine life without my brother. About a year ago, a week before my daughters bday the day came where he passed. I never cried harder in my life. The person who was my mom, dad and brother in one was gone. I couldn't even grieve right as I felt I had to be there for everyone else. I have gone on almost a year missing him more than I have even missed my own mother. I honestly just want my brother back, I go to therapy but it really don't help. To make matters worse my dog that I've had for 12 years passed suddenly last month. Apollo was my best friend for 12 years and I lost him not even a year after my brother. All this has got me to the point I don't know what to do. The only thing keeping me going and waking up is my daughter. I'm so upset I can't think straight and I'm doing what I can to keep things together. But I feel I'm breaking apart. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but I've lost too much too close together. I've tried talking to my dad and other brother but it don't help. My dad has pulled away for the most part in life and my other brother has tried to be there but it's just not the same. I miss Chris more than anything and it hurts so much, and I'm not even sure how to process losing Apollo. I know ppl will say he's just a dog but he's been my best friend for 12 years and been there for me when no one else was. My dog was more than a dog to me. And I feel like most of my heart is gone. My daughter is the only light I have left and I feel I'm loosing my will to live. I can't do that because she needs me more. Any advice on what I can do would be greatly appreciated. And please no find God comments or pray. It doesn't work and I don't think I can deal with that cause I can't think God would take 2 of the most important things from me in my life. I've literally lost hope in praying for now. So please no religious stuff I can't handle it.

It’s been years since I’ve realized I was trans(FTM). Recently I decided to actually express my identity by cutting my hair and not wearing anything too feminine to help with dysphoria. Unfortunately she noticed.

Two days ago my mom came to my room and she asked me who I am, she said I could trust her and that she wants to know the truth. She said that if I was honest with her she would be happy and accept me completely. My mom has always been supportive of the LGBTQ community so I thought i could trust her. I spilled my heart out to her and explained everything. How I felt like a boy and how I always felt like a boy.

I didn’t realize she didn’t understand the difference between a trans person and a lesbian for some reason??? She asked me if I like girls and I said no because I honestly am not attracted to girls. She was very confused and I tried to explain it to her and she eventually said she understood and I started crying and she said she’ll love me no matter what and she does see me as a person.

The next day she was VERY depressed looking(very unusual, not saying she should never be depressed or feel down, but usually she’s very happy). I forgot to mention that during this month things haven’t been too good for our family. I won’t go into detail but there’s been a bunch of downfalls and I also told her about evolution a month ago? I think? But she was open to the idea of it and she also started questioning things from the bible. (My whole family is christian, but I honestly have never felt the connection).

Anyways back to the present, she’s still acting different to her usual self and after a few hours she came to my room and started crying. She showed me old pictures of me in skirts and dresses and said she never noticed any signs. She told me I am a girl and it’s a demon whispering things into my ear. She said that she has had things like this happen to her before with bad thoughts. Before the day I came out I was the happiest I could have ever been, I truly felt like me. She started saying that the devil is trying to bring me down and that i need to dig deeper to find the true me. But i know who i am, I always did. Being feminine ≠ Not being trans. I started questioning myself a lot. I feel extremely depressed. My mom since that day has still been the same. She made me pray and ask for forgiveness as well and she said that I need to keep praying and in a few months she’ll ask me who I am again. She said she accepts me but then right after she said It’s the devil talking to me. Straight after that she said I’m going to have a bedtime now?? HELLO? For my whole life I’ve slept past 12am. You could argue it’s not good for me but it’s the only time I’m productive. She said If i dont go to bed she’s going to switch off everything and force me to sleep.

I cant take it anymore. My dad has already always been a bad person to me and we never really spoke to eachother. He always argues with me. My mom was the only person I could talk to and rely on and now she’s gone. She’s been acting weird around me and she said she’s just been sick. I cant take it, it’s only been 2 days but it’s already too much for me. I feel so depressed. I’ve never felt this guilty and horrible. I should’ve jusf kept quiet and said nothing. This wouldn’t have happened if I just kept it away. This isn’t gonna get better and I can feel it. I don’t know what to do. I wish I could just start my life over. She’s making me feel miserable.

Quick backstory, I'm between 13-16 atm, just to give a rough age range so you get an idea. I am a minor and this is how my home is.

I'll first introduce you to my family! Mother: in 50's Father:in 50's Older Brother: 20+ I also have other siblings but that doesn't matter too much.

My mother has stage 4 cancer and is extremely childish and easily irratated. She lacks empathy and often talks about her self and how much worse she has it when I talk to her about anything.

My father is an alcoholic, who works most hours of the week and spends his one day off, (monday) golfing with friends. He is often not home and extremely close minded and absent in my life. Refuses to go to the hospital or believe in medicine since "men are strong enough, and if I die, I die." Therefore I don't know if he'll die tomorow. :) (He makes up most the income we make and so if he dies soon, I am kinda screwed.)

My brother is on the spectrum, has ADHD and works a job atm. Extremely mentally unstable and has had therapy.

I'll just talk about yesterday as an example. My brother had another mental breakdown where he went on a rampage, screaming and breaking things. Heres a small list of what he broke yesterday, a set of joycons, a metal soldering kit and a ceramic bowl (With a hammer). This was all done when he panics, he also threw out a laptop he broke the day before that still partially works that he can easily use as he said him self. But he threw it out since he finds it hard to look at since its something he broke when he had a mental breakdown. He has been screaming at the top of his lungs and since he is taller and stronger than my parents, I am terrified that he would cause harm to members of my family. Not to mention I get terrible anxiety when he screams since I have trauma of him screaming in the middle of the night that he was going to off him self two years ago. In the same year, he has also stabbed scissors into his hand right infront of me and he passed out multiple times.

If I bring up any issues, my parents tell me that they have it much worse. Which is true, I run and hide when my brother has a mental breakdown but my parents need to deal with them, but I don't feel like they care about me at all. My sister is also mental and silently struggles and the other one also is mental. Life is great :,)

(Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense. I'm horrible with grammer and I wrote this quickly :,))

Thanks for caring enough to read this, this alone is more than my parents do for me now days.

*i just want to note that i didn't say hate, this sister of mine would always say she hated me and my parents so i avoid using the word as it can be kinda triggering*

I feel like a bad person because i dont like my sister (A). A is 2 years younger than me and has a twin sister (B).

A has always caused many issues in my life. When we were younger she would hit me and B, and sometimes even my parents. It got better for a while but just over a year ago it got bad again. She would get mad at me, B, and my parents for the tiniest things. There have been several instances where she was throwing a fit in the car while my mom was driving and she GRABBED THE STEERING WHEEL, thankfully we never got in a car crash.

A has been very sensitive from a young age, and when she get angry she normally goes through a few phases.

1. Yell at the person who made her mad (this usual goes on for a good 10 minutes)

2. My mom threatens to take away something from A (usually her phone)

3. A pleas with my mom to give her back said item (she will scream "please i'll do anything" for 5 straight minutes and when my mom finally tells her what she can do to make it up she will scream "ill do anything else" 😒)

4. A storms off to her room

5. A lays down on the ground in her bedroom and screams bloody murder while kicking her bedroom door.

6. A gets hurt from kicking the door

7. A screams for my dad to come and help her because she is "hurt"

8. My dad ignores her for a good 5 minutes until the screaming gets too annoying

9. My dad goes to As bedroom and tries to open the door (she locked herself in her room)

10. My dad opens the door with a butter knife and proceeds to have a conversation with A

A also has a lesser maturity than me and B so it tends to be more difficult to hang out. Because of all this anxiety and stress caused by A it isn't uncommon for me and B to huddle in my bedroom with a bunch of snacks and vent to each other about A. Me and B also do other things when we hang out but that is what brought us closer together (B also used to hit me, but she's chill now).

A has continually reminded us to tell her if me and B are hanging out.

(I want to mention that me and B hang out with A a lot, so it's not like we are icing her out of anything)

But if me and B have a secret convo in my bedroom without A and she finds out suddenly she is screaming at us about how she hates us and doesn't even want to hang out with us. This also makes it particularly unappealing to hang out with A.

A is a loner, she has friends but she rarely hangs out with any of them outside of school. A is also very fond of "chilling". A's definition of chilling is not letting me or B invite friends over, no chores or cleaning up her room, and no family plans. This weekend i had previously planned to have a sleepover with a friend at my house but because A wanted a "chill" weekend, i had to cancel. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but this has happened before and i feel that it is taking a time on some of my friendships.

Recently i have been feeling really bad about my feelings toward A. I keep imagining her alone in her room, sad, because she can hear my and B laughing in my room. I'm literally crying thinking about it rn. It's just so hard to look past all the hardships she's out me and my family through.

Thanks for reading this, there is prob a couple spelling errors but you'll get over it. If you could give me some suggestions to improve my relationship with A that would be amazing.

Hope you have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night💕

I’m a 32 year old woman. Divorced and no child. Aged parents. 6 years ago I took over the provider role. With no generational wealth or support from anyone. Sis lives abroad prioritises her life. Burnt out at work. Anxious and stressed most of the time. Health issues.. Cannot quit job due to the responsibilities. Craving to be taken care.. my feminine energy is dead and this is affecting my current relationship with my partner who is not financially stable. I feel like I hv to be man in the relationship. I don’t know how I got here n don’t know what to do.

Struggling with family basically...

I hate being an elder daughter who's supposed to be the 'perfect' child.

I need to get the best grades, but it's tiring and exhausting now.

Nobody really tries to understand MY point of view.

My mother is too stubborn and strict. She gets mad and disappointed if I don't get the perfect marks. She pretends to be caring, but indirectly shows her disappointment in me. Worst of all, I can't vent to my friends because I don't want to burden them when they're dealing with their own problems.

Also, I need to be that role model for my younger sibling. I can't afford any mistakes.

I'm the child that my parents don't love. My younger sibling is the favorite. I love my little sibling, but I want the same love too. I just want my parents to be proud of me, for once. To tell me that my efforts are enough.

Okay, I don’t know whether this is seen as family drama because I can’t find “teen issues”, but I’ll say it anyways. So, I’m gonna turn 13, yippee, but I have doubts. Firstly, since 13 in most films & shows are depicted as such a horrible age, is it gonna be even worse at that age? Would I grow a year older just to become an overly risky, smoke, drink, harass kids for how “ugly” they are, have my face turn into a humongous zit, grow pimples everywhere, hate school, hate my family, run away from home & do that kinda trash? I love my family, they’re very wise & cool, my dad is super smart & my mom is no-nonsense, but would I then take their cool stuff for granted for my dumb friends? I was taught by my dad that friends will eventually pressure you into doing horrible things, like drink, smoke & do drugs to seem cool, but in the end, they’re gonna get hurt. I’m scared I’m gonna turn into my worst self, my lowest point, my horrible angry toddler self again who I hate now, because I used to be so angry at 6, now I’m 12 & I’ve grown from that & I hate my 6 year old self, so at 13, will I become like that again? Regress & become dumber? Because many sites say your prefrontal cortex is really weak at this age & your amygdala is like a lion, crazy & wild. Am I gonna be my worst self? My mom says I’ll grow a lot & my dad said I’ll just be a year older, but I’m gonna be a teen & probably a bad daughter. 🥲

All I want is your presence, not your presents.

Very rarely am I good with words, and this time may be no different, but I wanted to share my feelings from tonight. As I pack my apartment again, I think about the next steps and what is coming. I am moving to a larger space in a new area. Thankfully, I will still have friends and family nearby, but I feel so empty about the situation. I think about all the times I have moved in the past 10 years and how each time has been essentially me moving myself, alone, with no help (at least not from friends or family). I think about the move from New England to the South—wow, that was a big move, right? Why wasn’t anyone here to help me? When I moved from the South to New England, at least Dad went with me; he experienced the drive with me. So why didn’t anyone welcome me back? Was everyone happy I was going so far away? Why has no one come to visit? Why am I the only one trying? Is this what love looks like?

Now I am moving again, and my brother is coming to help. My brother and I have had a rocky relationship for years, but we have both matured immensely, and I am grateful for his friendship. I never thought we would be close. I am thankful that he has offered to help me move. I didn’t have to ask, but I made sure to tell everyone in the family. He’s the only one who offered.

Still, no one has visited. No one else offered. Why don’t my parents see how much it hurts that I have been back in the South for 9 months and not once have they reached out and driven to me? Why do they tell me they were coincidentally going to visit when I tell them I have plans for a weekend? Why didn’t they offer to help me move?

I have driven over 10,000 miles to see my family and set up the business, yet no one has even driven 10 miles to see me. My dad came all the way to Wichita (4 blocks from my new apartment) to pick up a friend’s child, but he can’t do that for me? Nana says that if anything were wrong and I needed help, he’d be here immediately, but why do I need to wait until I need help? I asked for help paying for a resume service, yet he made me feel like he wasn’t willing to help, only willing to “pay me back” for the driveway. Seriously?

Do they not know how it feels to call my brother and hear my mother in the background because she has visited? Are they closer? Yes. Do they have kids? Yes. But there is no excuse for not visiting a child over 9 months when they are only a few hours away. Hell, they didn’t visit for 7 years in Maine except when my brother and I FORCED them to get on a plane to visit me. We paid for the entire trip; Mom and Dad had to do nothing. Always citing money and time, they were able to buy all this fancy quilting equipment and build another building to expand out of their own pocket, yet they didn’t have time or money for me.

Why am I so much less important? Why did no one ask if they could attend my graduation for my Master’s degree? What do I have to do to make my parents happy or proud of me? Why do I care anymore?

Do they resent me for being gay? Lord knows I have learned not to bring anyone around, as I feel like it’s always a shit show. And then my mother sits me down to talk about how “she feels they have done a good job of accepting me being gay.” Why do my tears sting my skin every time I cry? What have I done to receive such treatment? What do I have to do just for them to try and meet me halfway?

I guess I really won’t get anywhere from this, but I wanted to type it out. I cry, it hurts, and I don’t know what to do to change it. I can’t have a healthy relationship with anyone because I don’t know what that looks like. I am broken. I have always been broken. Who am I?

All I want is your presence, not your presents.

my name is miriam and im almost 12. my parents are divorced and they can't agree on anything. im Jewish and my mom wants me to have a bat mitzvah at 13 and my dad wants me to have a bat mitzvah at 12. and none of them are willing to be flexible so now i'll have to study twice as hard. like this is supposed to be my breaking point, the end of my childhood, but what's the point if you have to do it all over again? and lately I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts because of family problems (ill go into that another time) so i don't really know what to do atp

so today my brother asked my dad if it was fine for him to go to the beach with my mom instead of going to the gathering with my dad. my dad for some reason flipped out and got so angry. he called my mom and screamed at her for 1-2 hours. my mom was already at the beach but didn’t have time to enjoy anything whatsoever. later on the dinner table my dad was telling my siblings and i about how his dad (my grandfather) threw a hammer at him for disrespecting him. my dad explained saying “i never once regretted what my father did to me because it made me a real “man””. he went to the nearby table where my brother placed his electronics, picked his nintendo up and slammed it into the ground. everything shattered and my siblings and i were so shocked and scared. my mom as well. some of my sisters started crying and yelling at my dad which caused me to cry aswell. my dad took my brothers phone and slammed it on the floor aswell. my dad acted shocked that we were crying. he said we are over reacting and whatever. they explained to him that these aren’t normal things that he is doing. and that we have been suffering from him ever since we were kids. he told us to say what was in our hearts. what we have been holding for our entire life. when it came to me? i just couldn’t say anything. i told him that. that i have nothing to say. but in reality i wanted to tell him i much i hated him and how much i wanted him to die. but based on what he did to my sisters. i know if i say something he will just keep going and trying to make me the wrong one. when it came to my youngest sister to speak she said that what he is doing is so childish. my dad looked like he wanted to kill her. talking about how “rude” she is. mind you we were all crying at this point. after everything that happened he took the rest of my brothers electronics and went down to his office. we started bursting into tears next to our mother and then we heard a slam, then another. he actually broke my brothers ipad and playstation. we went to my oldest sister’s room and stayed there while my mother went to talk to my dad. we sat for about 40 minutes when he came up to the room and sat down acting like he did nothing wrong. talked to us calmly. about how he wont changed. and this is our luck that we got a dad like him. before he left he told my brother that he will take my brother’s tv and break it as well. he also said that what happened and what we did to stand up for my brother is “wrong” and that we should repent. my mom later went down to the living room to go away from all the disasters but my dad followed her there and started fighting again. this is when i’m writing this. it’s currently 3am and all i hear is screaming. tbh i’m kind of relieved to hear my mom scream. i’m always scared that one day it will stop. and i would come down with her laying on the floor with blood everywhere. i just feel like my dad would do something like that.

in my dad’s defense he said that my brother is not a “man” because he can’t “talk/speak” well like the other kids. but then he told my sister that she should stop comparing him to other dads because it will only bring her pain. and i’ve had a habit of recording anytime my dad screams. so as soon as he started i hid my phone under the table and recorded everything. as you can tell it’s not his first time doing something like this. not to this extent ofc but once when my brother was 9-10 my dad wanted to teach him how to ride a bicycle. after a while of my brother failing my dad hit him over and over until my brother peed himself.

i’m so tired. so tired. i’m still i minor and so are my siblings except my oldest sister. my dad claims that what he is doing is the right way of teaching us. he sees us as a disappointment. i don’t know what to do. my mother tried divorcing so many times but she couldn’t. i’m dying inside. i want to die and end it all. but then again. i would bring shame to this family for killing myself. because in my dad’s eyes, he did mothing wrong.

so tell me is my dad wrong? is he abusive? if so what kind? am i being brainwashed washed into thinking this is the only right way? what can i do to stop this? i’m so tired and i son’t know what to do.

As long as I can remember my parents were big drinkers and were almost always high on drugs. Thi sled them to having a bad tempe. If I were to do something as a kid, they would get pissed off and start throwing thingsand yelling. I remember one night, I believe I was 9 when I was playing with my cup that I finished drinking the water out of. My parents had just came back from the bar, around 3:00 am. They were drunk and I remembered they’re eyes being bloodshot red. I was using my cup to set on my head for fun but it made them mad. They told me to, “shut the hell up, you mistake.” I quote.

Okay so, I don’t know how to write but I really need to let this out. My dad leaves to visit his hometown like ALL THE TIME, it’s like he’s not even a part of my life anymore. He just got back from one of his trips like a week ago and he’s planning on leaving again. One time he was supposed to spend TWO WEEKS down there but instead it was SIX MONTHS, he came back for a week then left again for another like 2 months. AND ITS NOT EVEN THIS THAT MAKES ME MAD, whenever he comes back all he does is yell. Like two days ago I woke up and he IMMEDIATELY forced me to clean the house or else my phone would be taken away, not to mention HES NOT EVEN HERE HALF OF THE TIME. He would also get into fights with my mom, calling her a pig when the house is a mess even though it’s HIS FAULT THE HOUSE IS DIRTY. I’m so tired. I don’t feel comfortable around him anymore, I always feel like I’m going to get yelled at. I’m honestly debating if I should just stop interacting with him..

My father has been such a raging asshole recently. Not just to me but all of his kids. Everything i do is wrong. I was hanging out with my sister while cleaning my room, we had the rats out running around while I cleaned. And he came in and yelled at me and her for letting the rats roam in my room. So I put them away. Then he started yelling at me about how my room was a mess. (I was literally cleaning as he was yelling at me) so I gave up. And layed in bed. Then he was yelling at my sister's for everything. I was trying to eat the dinner he made, but it was triggering my sensory issues (we bread) so I kept cringing so he told me to throw it away if I was gonna keep making grossed out faces and yelled when I said it was good I just didn't like how it felt so I was trying to eat it. He then took it away. And then right before I went to bed I was waiting to use the bathroom but my brother was blowdrying his hair, so I was just waiting, and when he asked what I was doing and I said "waiting for the bathroom" he yelled at me for not knocking on the door? And now he's yelling at me because I was 15 mins late to school this morning because I woke up late because I've felt sick nonstop for the past like 2 weeks and I've been having trouble staying asleep. So I'm exhausted. But seriously. Why have you been acting like that? What the fuck is the point? If your pissed off about something just stop taking it out on your kid. Especially your kid with the most violent and destructive tendencies because I don't know how much I can take before I take it out on him or myself. I'm not only pissed off I'm scared.

When I was a kid I was really good friends with my siblings, we all had good fun together. Well until one day in the summer. Me and my younger sister were playing a game of tag inside. And note of this: even though I was young I had and still have a porn addiction. So me and my sister were on my bed, tired from playing around. And I thought it would be a good idea take advantage of the situation. So I requested her to unclothe herself, and she did. So I continued to touch her cat with my finger, even going down to lick it.

I did end up getting caught afterwards, and the police did get involved; but I didn't go to jail or anything because of my age. And during that time I felt sick, I felt horrible. So I suppressed my feelings and forgot about it, only remembering it like 3 times a year or so.

Now, I'm 18 and I completely forgot about my incident; but one of my sisters friends met someone I knew. Telling he about what I did back then. He texted me about it yesterday, and of course I lied, I'm still in school. But the problem isn't that I lied, the problem is the flow of emotions coming back to me. I feel so disgusting, why did I do that, what is wrong with me. I'm scared he'll find out the truth, because I know that what I did was really bad, and I know that the public will think the same.

I've changed, I know I have, and I think my family knows that as well. But I cant help but feel like a monster, I wasn't to change the past.

I tried looking as this being a wakeup call by a god or something, like some higher being telling me to change my ways. But all I can think about is the future, I don't think I'll ever talk to my family again when I move just out of guilt.

Thanks for reading this.