Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 25

so recently i find out my male best friend of 3years has been ignoring me. I mean at first i thought he needs some time like cause he also has friends but every time we leave school I am who tries to find him and talk to him, I always try reach but not him. I am not trying to make this about myself cause even when we just stand next each other I feel like be does not want to talk to me and he knows about my difficulties with friends. And its not he does not talk to girls at all but its specifically me he is not talking to i feel very betrayed I'm not trying to act like a jealous female friend of some sort i just want to talk to me once again like we did in 8th grade. What should I do?

I sometimes feel like I don't know how to communicate with others in a way that isn't complex for them, and it results in rejection, given that it seems unnecessary. For me, it's necessary, but such constant rejection makes me feel that my need to be this way can't be satisfied. I'm left wondering, "Where is there someone who can receive my discourses?"

Indeed, there must be someone who enjoys such discourses, just as there must be someone who enjoys generating them. When it comes to speaking, I enjoy complexity precisely to discern more between the words and thus have more tools to discern my life and my past. Indeed, there is a message for another; however, there is a part that is being used for myself. Although if I see this, we can say that I am falling into a decentering focus on the individual, and that is certainly just what others complain about. Ultimately, what it's about is that when we address another, the message to be conveyed must be configured according to the other; otherwise, we will be acting, in this case, towards something to which there is no openness.

It has been difficult for me to come to these conclusions. I feel extremely hurt that I don't feel I can handle a psychotherapist who can support me in raising awareness in the social sphere. When I tried, it only resulted in my perceptions being suspect and a search for me to somehow submit to the fact on this issue, even though the element itself was evidence that this was the case. In effect, we're talking about pressure to succumb and thus maintain a vision given by the therapist, or at least on the terms the therapist liked. I can understand why I looked for ways to discredit any authority and consequently dismiss the individual.

My current therapist doesn't allow me to develop ideas. Instead, in the areas where I find refuge, he pleasantly seeks to bring me out in a non-progressive way, simply by breaking in and giving direction, rather than me. I always felt he was a closed-off person, and the conditions under which we had psychotherapy were also restrictive for me, precisely because of the short sessions. This was contrary to what he initially recommended, which was to satisfy my need to feel heard.

In this sense, I weep deeply. I weep for not having a psychotherapist who could help me visualize these elements, or at least someone who would allow me to do so, at least in a way that would make me realize and consequently allow me to develop according to my own means. The issue with people who have sought to develop according to their own means has resulted in setting limits on development, or in other words, in a sad framing. Asking for help or support for myself has simply resulted in mistreatment. With the first psychotherapist I mentioned, I felt that my accusations weren't taken seriously, and those that were were only temporary.

In this case, both from ordinary people and from psychotherapists, I've felt that they can't support me, which in itself has resulted in a kind of divine condemnation given the circumstances in which I was raised and they found who I am, which in itself only generated problems in escalating ways, so much so that they alienated everyone. The most horrifying thing for me is that I didn't choose those circumstances, so such condemnation is unfair, and it's also due to simple chance. It's feeling that you're not welcome for reasons beyond your control, and that no one can do anything about it, and those who say they are only result in an exercise of dominance that, although not sought, goes against my individual spirit, which is what counts when it comes to unfolding in the world and, of course, achieving comfort.

My point is that I feel alone on this path of raising awareness, when I observe that many of you have friends who allow accusations—well, at least that's what they've given me. Perhaps what I've observed is that such accusations are nothing more than the deviation of a certain profile in a given circumstance. This reinforces my idea of ​​being alone, given that I can't find any support for myself. I have to admit it: I feel alone on this path of being in the world, amidst my difficulties. On the other hand, it's difficult to draw a specific conclusion, because the fact that I manage to immerse myself in my feelings, allowing a free development of letters, albeit with apparent directions, although not definitive, speaks in itself of accompaniment on my part through this path of darkness.

Of course, the latter is something that isn't usually valued as standard, at least in this culture eager for socialization and anxious escape from loneliness, so such recognition was an effort on my part to achieve Guir, which in this case is just the right thing to accompany me on another adventure to visualize myself as I am. Reaching me is a difficult task along paths that seem quite strange due to the stretches they pass through, which are also unexpected, the driving force being only a simple pressure on the head and the search for its satisfaction. However, the fact that I appreciate these letters and at the same time unfold them speaks of me as an individual within myself and that I am interested in myself. It is precisely this dyad that allows for the journey and, of course, an indisputable consolidation, because all journeys are based on a clear and circumscribed delimitation within a context, and precisely the latter is what connects with other delimitations. This dyad is what allows for surprise, appreciation, and at the same time effort, it being the retreat from these that allows for this consolidation.

I have gone deep, as some would say; however, I feel this allows me to enter into context with the various situations that occur within me and that allow me to anchor myself to this journey. Sensations definitely go beyond being elements that define a particular social situation, given that they are rooted in the elements captured. Rather, they are a signal toward what we need to consolidate and that is in line with the moment because, amidst the circumstances they involve, they result in a satisfaction that makes a difference and, consequently, a change in me, in the way I experience them.

This brings me back to the doctor's experience, where the very thing we're talking about is sensations. Indeed, when communicating them, it is advisable to describe them, but based on categories that can allow the professional to concretely interpret what is happening in our body. Sensations themselves do not follow a universal format; it is advisable to use formats that are consistent with the reference and can be understood by others, because otherwise, we can fall into unconscious dismissals on the part of others and consequently carry out actions that are quite disconnected from the situation to which they refer. However, to actually achieve this, I first had to endure being told that I don't know how to express what I feel, and that the conversation was with a third party. Therefore, the character, besides being a busybody, also had the right words for every sensation, which makes him narcissistic. This is one of the things that makes him feel unwelcome in a home, to the point of abandoning the characters.

I undoubtedly learned a valuable lesson about communicating with doctors and others, but with that character, I also learned that I held back my way of expressing myself, and that because it wasn't understandable to him, it was censored. This led to my not knowing how to express myself when it came to something I didn't know how to put into words, or the fear of being considered as such. In itself, this speaks to an environment that doesn't prevent me from approaching the world beyond what they already know.

What's a good advice when it comes to work?

I am so damn sick of my grandma being a total bitch 24/7 all the time complaining about the things I do when I stay out of her way and just lay low but no matter what its always my fault she can never ever have any blame like tonight I gave the cats a little bit of hot dog so they wouldnt be rushing out the door which also makes her mad and she got mad that I gave them some and my grandpa just sat there even though she buys them for him and I know he doesnt care like she does. Literally can never have a good day in this unwelcoming family like if Im at my parents they also complain about what I do if Im at my grandparents I get complained at here. I remember I had a bad break down ran away from home and that was the first time in like years I heard my grandma say she loved me. Jokes about my depression and says how I will be fine when I was unmedicated last year and had that bad break down. Whatever man shes in her 60s or something so shes probably just feeling old age or whatever. God I just wish my family would communicate properly without sulking/yelling/telling each other they are ungrateful because then I wouldnt feel the need to go online and complain about them and the actions

I’m done with my life. The academic session began in April, and my exams are scheduled for the end of January. Right now, August is already halfway over—it’s the 20th today—and I feel like I’ve fallen far behind. Most of my classmates are ahead of me, while I struggle to understand anything in class. It feels as if I’ve been dropped into a higher grade where I don’t belong. Everything seems beyond my grasp.

It stings to see my peers following along with ease while I just sit there, staring at the blackboard in confusion. I was never like this before. For the first time in my life, I feel lost in class. This is 10th grade, and I feel trapped, unable to move forward, constantly pulled away by distractions.

My laptop, which should be helping me study, has become my biggest enemy. Social media, random motivational YouTube videos, anime content, Instagram scrolling, venting to strangers online for attention, even sleeping after school—these habits are dragging me down. I thought my relationship with a classmate was a distraction too, so I distanced myself from her. But even after cutting off contact, nothing changed. I can’t blame her anymore—this is my own battle.

I barely scraped through the first unit tests with poor grades, cramming the night before exams. If I’m honest, I haven’t properly finished a single chapter to the point where I could confidently answer questions from it. I’m still procrastinating every day. On top of that, I struggle with the habit of watching porn, which only makes me feel weaker and more paralyzed.

I know what’s happening to me, but I don’t act on it. It feels like I’m waiting for some dramatic “rock bottom” moment—like in movies where the main character suddenly rises to the top after hitting their lowest point. But in real life, that moment never comes. Time just keeps slipping away.

Part of me dreams of becoming the top student in class, but right now it feels more like a fantasy than a real possibility. Even if I somehow worked hard, gave my all, and fought through every distraction, I know people wouldn’t see the effort behind it. They’d assume I succeeded easily, because I’ve always been considered a “good student.” That’s why I sometimes feel the need to tell my classmates about my struggles, as if my poor marks in the first unit test are proof of where I really stand.

But the truth is, I’m still waiting for something outside of me to change my situation, even though I know nothing magical is going to happen. My parents keep scolding me and comparing me to others, which only makes me feel worse. I want to rise to the top of the class, but right now, it feels impossible.

Sabotage eh? Was planned all along? Don't complain if my work is wrong what I was taught wrong all along?

I express that I feel tearful. Why is there no efficient psychotherapy service in my country? I feel extremely hurt. Friends, it's impossible that not a single one of the psychotherapists I turned to was able to help me with my problems; instead, I had to do everything on my own. The very symptoms I was carrying kept returning, and no one cared. These enormous individuals, narcissists, con artists, weren't concerned about doing their job. There's nothing more unpleasant than going to a professional and having them come up with a series of inefficiencies, make you believe they're correct, have the good fortune to prolong therapy as long as they want, and on top of that, offer you a return.

It's horrible to feel that none of those therapists were concerned about doing their job, none. In fact, I ended up using one of these individuals to get them to say I'm fine and thus get rid of the people who were on my nerves, insisting that I was unstable or something like that. How is it possible that this therapist didn't realize I was more focused on using it for that than anything else? It was all based on a sad complacency: completing psychotherapy so they'd leave me alone. On top of that, the surrounding psychotherapists were determined to keep me in therapy, which felt, as you can see from my previous words, like a prison I couldn't escape. I had to find excuses to get out of the psychotherapies I was undergoing, which weren't simple, but precise. It's horrible to feel that something that should be healing turns out to be exactly the opposite, in some ways, and not transparent at all. And in this spirit, the psychotherapists, at least in my country, dared to express that I should go to one. This outrages me and made me feel like I was facing a group that only sought to maintain a position of power over me, even at the expense of my health. It's appalling, and it's something that others supported, especially my father, who is a doctor and who sought such status.

It's incredible, in general terms, how the health sector has based its discourse no longer on being a health producer but, quite the opposite, on an entity that simply seeks social dominance. How can we not think that these entities serve an international entity that could very well serve others? My father insisted that I give in to therapy at all costs. In other words, even in this environment I'm in, they cared about the conditions I was in and how well they were leading me to define myself as a patient as something else. It's like feeling the environment pressuring me to go to psychotherapy, and at the same time, the therapist forcing me to go, against my will, inducing changes that don't favor my development. For me, these psychotherapies became simple conversion therapies, simply a way to be submissive to the environment. Perhaps this issue, from what I'm seeing, isn't as unusual as I thought. This makes me understand why cinema is killing off psychotherapists these days, and because it's international in scope, this problem is going beyond the borders of my country.

How disappointing to be told about a service that can help you with your problems, and it's, in fact, urgent, and you find yourself facing this. The worst part of the situation is that psychotherapists and those around you accuse you, for appearing frustrated, of not being cooperative with the process, that is, of not showing yourself as they think you should. So, what's happening to them? Does the patient have to meet expectations of what's expected from the therapeutic work or be a product of the therapeutic work? Frankly, I think it's the latter. It's incredible how far such a delicate process has been taken, such as assessment, perhaps more so than surgery. I'm truly shocked. The most horrible thing is that no one talks about this at all, although I've seen some insights into it, but the problem is that it's not done in my country. This guild is being blindly admired, like many other guilds, which implies or only encourages abuse by professionals, which is in effect an attitude completely unprofessional. I can only say that my country, under these conditions and assuming there is no support, is going to go bankrupt, but by the professionals themselves, the issue no longer even being about political conditions, and it makes me feel fearful of my stay on this earth.

It's incredible, but instead of being scared of the government, I'm scared precisely for those who are not the government. I have often observed that the population uses this entity as an excuse to escape their responsibilities, pointing to their own impulsiveness turned into reality in entities that belong to the government. At this point, it makes one wonder if it's really worthwhile to study the government, when in reality should be about the people themselves. It's said that the government provides insecurity, however, I see that the entities that produce it are the population itself, and in the form of opaque crime, since professional abuse is one form of it. It's impressive how far we've come in my country, as a people, these days. This is definitely not what I expected to find when I left my family. It's practically becoming the same constitution as theirs, that is, a defense of the roles obtained through hard work and the consequent ability to achieve a leading discourse through words specific to the domain. With professionals, this is translating into a simply leading discourse and the use of certain technical terms, and this is what the people are defending, without questioning it, which marks it as inactive.

It's appalling that this has happened to psychotherapists, who are the primary ones who should exercise essential caution with every word dictated, without exception, because every word counts. This, in turn, requires constant review of the work done, given the consequences each practice leaves behind, something I, in fact, never experienced with any of the psychotherapists. My country is becoming a place where, as a result of the great instability that leads to a desperate search for solutions, there are leaders who seek to dominate people within a certain realm, thus achieving, as with my family, an absolute disrespect for the independent spirit, descending into their denigration in such realms regarding what leads to such a modus operandi, always seeking a suggestion. Indeed, in the environment I live in, identity integrity is a superficial element and worthy of being changed by the environment, according to the circumstances. I never imagined things were this serious.

Indeed, if I mention anything like this to those around me, they won't pay attention to a single word I say. They'll pick up on it, but it will be as if I'd never said anything, just like what happened in my family. I can now understand why I've navigated this situation with great astuteness, something that has certainly not been the case for many people in my country. It's ironic, but having ties to a wounded, hegemonic family has its advantages when it comes to experiencing conditions of instability—of course, when you begin to visualize the elements that constituted it.

I had this friend of mine, she was my first friend, we were together all the way from when we were in diapers till high school ended and then after she went abroad for university we drifted apart. Our relationship always felt toxic to me because I always felt like she didn’t place much importance to me, she would tell me that she won’t be able to talk to me before exams but would speak with everyone else, she would not tell me crucial stuffs like when would she leave or where she got admitted but everyone else would know ( I did ask her btw but I didn’t get any answer ). Weirdest thing is after she came back last time she looked for me she was probably confused why I was ignoring her as my other friends told me she asked questions about me to them.

Weirder is that I feel extremely guilty, I feel like what if we could go back to how it was before even though I know it probably won’t be good for me or her. So even though I’m scared out of my mind I am praying hoping that she atleast strikes up a conversation with me for once, she asks me about it, she questions me about what happened.

My other close friends and my family also know and they also say that our relationship wasn’t okay, it was not healthy but I don’t know why I am being like this.

This is more like a health question/vent. This is more on the sickness bit and not my age. Anyways, I suffer eczema and have cat allergies that came recently at 13. I had eczema since I was 2, and it has been bumming me out more at 13. The reason is because I always see folks like models with such glossy and pretty skin, with no acne, and while cutting cashew nuts did get rid of my acne (which is good). This is stuff like, where, I feel bad that I have eczema. I now hate even more how my skin flakes, how it makes me feel old, how it makes my lips look whitish pink than the regular lip pink, and how much it looks bad and spooks my dad even when he's seen it for years, and it sucks. I'm 13, and I know insecurity is what I should be feeling at this age about my appearance, but I just wish I was better than this since most girls in my class have clear skin.

And then I got a random cat allergy when I was in Malaysia when I rubbed a chubby cat, and then I rubbed my eye and it swelled so much. And then at my relative's house the same happened but not as bad. Now I fear I may get asthma because eczema, allergies and asthma are all part of the atopic triad. My maternal grandma has it, she's 64, and somehow I don't see her much with an inhaler and she's more chill with cats but her leg skin is dry af. I fear dermatologists because my paternal grandpa was both a dermatologist and anesthesiologist back in the 70s, and the pressures made him so rude and angry to patients, his family, senior doctors, and his own siblings too.

And I'm scared if I will get judged for my skin, for how gross and flaky and ugly it is. By the doctors. And I'm afraid if I'll never live like a regular human again if I ever get diagnosed with asthma.

I sometimes just wanna desperately eat all the sweet, sugary junk food I can if I ever will, just because if at least I die from asthma, at least it's sugary and sweet, like a cute filter with bears and puppies.

I feel I can never own a fluffy animal like a cat because of allergies and no cat is truly hypoallergenic, and lizards, frogs, fishes and snakes feel so emotionally distant they'll only see me as their food giver and not their parent who wants to love them but can't because they lack that emotional bit

Just, anyone with asthma or eczema wanna tell me what dermatologist visits are like (last time I went I was 2 and I can't remember), how you guys manage, what it was like when you got diagnosed, and I just wanna know if you can ever own a fluffy animal like a cat without wheezing or swelling.

they're actually so horrific. I've been in real ones and have developed PTSD. and then I get made fun of. I cant control it. I cant get out of it. I hate it so bad.

I wrote a post here a couple of days ago because I was struggling with my own feelings towards my bestfriend. Quite a few people made some helpful comments and suggestions with im grateful for.

i decided to write some more in this post to clarify some things and hopefully get some more advice. this weird in between “situationship” (i hate that word) has been going on now for just under a year. over the course of this time it’s been a bit on and off, and we’ve butted heads and had conflict as you could probably assume. we’ve had the conversation of “what is this” quite a few times, but that was mainly in the beginning, when things were the most turbulent and confusing. the consensus of those conversations though, were that i wanted more, and that he wanted more too, but due to a past relationship he had he was wary because of distance.

i don’t mind how things are now. i’m not exactly pursuing a relationship currently, id be fine if i ended up in one, but it’s not my main focus.

i guess my problem is, i feel like i don’t know where at all i stand with him. and he makes it extremely difficult to ask, well atleast he has made it difficult in the past. so i wouldn’t even know how to approach it now.

any thoughts and advice are appreciated :)

So I don’t really know how to start this off but… my family all have addictions. All smoking or drinking. And I’m scared I might end up like them when I’m older.

So, my grandparents smoke cigarettes and cigars when they aren’t around the family and honestly I love that they hide it from us? Rather than just do it in my face and look at me. And I think they’ve tried to stop quitting so even more probs to them!!

Now my parents have always had a vape addiction.. first it started with weed/bongs stinking up the house, all the way to weed vape pens? And I’m actually so uncomfortable with putting that stuff in my body I VERBALLY tell them DIRECTLY I DON’T like it. And they still blow the smoke in my face?? I think it’s baffling after 10 years they just stopped caring about not doing it in front of me?? I remember them sitting in the bathroom of my old house, blowing smoke into the vents from bongs because they didn’t want me to know?? And I walked in on them doing that so i obviously asked(as the 7 year old I was). And they just tried to play it off saying “mommy just needs some relief”.. and then I soon started figuring out that they were smoking?? Not the same crap as cigarettes but weed?? I still think it’s disgusting either way and it’s made me grow a hatred for smokers, yes I know the nicotine is highly addictive but don’t you know how bad it is for your DEVELOPING CHILD to breathe in that smoke?? I think that’s why I have so many issues with my brain?? I don’t know though, it just really pisses me off and triggers me when they smoke around me. It makes me feel like I can’t breathe and I’ve had meltdowns about it because they can’t just NOT SMOKE around me, so we’ve compromised that whenever I was upstairs in my room they could vape in the living room. I’m still pissed at this because now I can’t enjoy my house and I’m trapped in my room all day, having to go downstairs in a smoke cloud?? And my dad still does it around me, making me yell at him and hate him more. He doesn’t respect me. He just laughs. And I know he’s trying to step up but I won’t forget what he didn’t do. Be a man for me when I was 7-13. I’m currently 13 for context and I’m just.. really mad and just sad?? Like I’m mad they won’t respect me but sad I call him my dad? I don’t know it’s just complicated and I’m just so frustrated and sick of him I have a shorter fuse around him.

And just last night he left the gas on the whole night, we all could’ve died so I’m pissed off. Even I could’ve (13f) known it was still on. And now the house is airing out, I’m not planning on speaking to him any time soon about “feelings” because he’ll just laugh in my fucking face like always and brush it off. I don’t feel seen. And I barely feel their love.

Hey guys, so, it's that same 13 y/o kid speaking. Being a teen isn't as bad as I thought (well, I find myself not relating to movies like "Eighth Grade" or "Euphoria", ironically), but now I'm way more scared of the health issues and my looks. I have eczema, and now I have allergies to cat hair in abundance. I hate both of them, I wish I could wear certain clothes and not just cotton, I wish I had a style and not just random t-shirts, shorts, and I wish I could look good in girly clothes without feeling weird or feeling like my arms are too hairy, and I wish I could now rub my face in a cat and tickle them without sneezing a lot. A doctor realized my adenoids and tonsils are very sensitive, and I sometimes cough when I run too fast without water. Look, at 13, at least in where I live, nobody does the stuff folks maybe do in shows from the USA, like smoking, drugs, narcotics or s-x, and I love that, but I feel sometimes bad about how I look. Like, I think I'm getting asthma now. Let's face it. My grandma has asthma, my deceased great-grandma had eczema, and eczema, allergies, and asthma are all part of the atopic triad. Please, folks who are 13 with asthma, can you tell me what it's like? Because I feel like if I ever get diagnosed with it, my life is done for. The final nail in my coffin of stupid chronic illnesses. I red somewhere it will cut your life off by 18 years. Assuming humans live til 80, I probably die at 62. My grandma may be alive at 64, but still, I feel scared if I ever get diagnosed because for me, that's a sign I'm not normal and I'm, well, deeply flawed and torn from the day I was born. Just please, can anyone tell me what it's like?

This is about my dad and my family about how they bad mouth him a lot, use my older stories for context (the bad experiences one).

So I’m in the car with my grandma(i love her but sometimes I can’t agree with her) and she randomly says, “You can’t get out the house much huh? What does your father even do with you?” And I can’t even say anything because I couldn’t think of even two things. So I feel a bit hurt since she’s in-directly insulting me? Idk I love my dad but I hate him? It feels like my relationship with my dad is the song “IFHY” by Tyler the creator” but in a father daughter way. I just really have a burning hatred for him because he didn’t do anything for a 1/3 of my life..

My grandma keeps randomly bringing up my father for the past 5 years and it hurts, knowing I can’t even stick up for him because I want her to still like me? And it’s just so humiliating that she keeps saying this when I’m making it clear I don’t like it just by my silence??

This isn’t really about my grandparents here but I just wanted to say something how I feel about my dad in present.

I really feel awkward and uncomfortable around him since my mom opened my eyes and showed me I shouldn’t like him? And now she’s acting oblivious like she never told me she wanted to divorce him. it’s just like your favored parent saying your drawing sucks and that they don’t want it?

My dad keeps trying to talk to me and it’s so bad… like I like that he’s trying to talk to me but like.. it doesn’t feel right? You had so much time to do this. But now you chose to try and step up?? I can’t believe I’m going to say this but.. I want them to divorce. It’s too much tension and it’s making me too scared to sit around my parents. Even when my dad goes near me I just want to scream and yell at him my frustration that I want to like him but I can’t since it feels wrong. Just trying to start liking him feels like I’m committing a war crime, since my mom literally told me she doesn’t like my dad anymore and my cousins and grandparents don’t like him.

Am I valid for feeling this? Or am I just too judgmental.

I know am like her. That's actually they main reason i can't stand her. Cause She thinks she sooo good and i'm the dirt under her feet but we're so much like each other. Better yet. She think we're not similiar at all and even openly said she dislikes me. Since i was like 7. Which f you. But also guess what? You're exactly like me. I know i'm Just as bad if not worse. I've been aware of that since forever. since she does nothing but remind me how bad and horrible i am. I've tried addressing this stuff to her. But to her? This Is normal. All the messed up stuff She does Is normal cause "She had It worse." And She Just gets worse. Maybe stewing in hate won't help. But since i can't talk to her since she won't listen. And i can't leave right now, venting and ignoring her Is the only thing i can do. (When i'll be able to leave i will. Even if just to get a break from her.) And honestly i think i have the whole right to be mad and hate her for wounds she caused. And i know for a fact what she does isn't right and i'm tired of pretending It Is. She doesn't deserve It. Cause she's not only horrible to me, and she's not only horrible to every since animal she "saved" once she gets bored and tired of them. She's horrible to others of our family too. She Just makes strangers thinks she's this adorable little princess. And yeah she did have It worse. But guess what? She stayed, for people who didn't care about her. She stayed and stewed in hate her whole Life and brought me with her. And now she's giving all that hate to me. I have the whole right to hate what she did and nothing will change my mind. Since realisticly speaking. I'll never be able to tell any of this, She never listens anyway. I am like her. A lot. But i'm trying to improve. I'm trying to be better. I am a bad person. But i don't scream at others day and night about minimal issues i brought uppon my self. I don't torture others for every single mistake they ever made. I don't "ban" crying cause it's not a good enough reason. I don't hurt others the way she does. She's stuck in the fantasy that she's perfect and above everyone else and She always will be. And i refuse to forgive her for that. ever.